Latest / Marriage Life and More and Bible Study / Marriage as Kingdom Partnership Pt 1 (Marriage as a Mission) - 319

Transcript

Marriage as Kingdom Partnership Pt 1 (Marriage as a Mission) - 319 · Marriage Life and More and Bible Study

• 0:06
  Daniel Moore: Let's be honest, marriage is about a lot more than sharing a last name, splitting chores, and figuring out whose turn it is to pick what's on TV.
• 0:14
  Daniel Moore: If that's what it was, most couples would have it mastered pretty quickly.
• 0:18
  Daniel Moore: But God designed marriage with something far deeper in mind.
• 0:21
  Daniel Moore: From the very beginning, marriage was meant to reflect his heart, his order, and his purpose on the earth.
• 0:27
  Daniel Moore: It's not just a companionship, it's a calling.
• 0:30
  Daniel Moore: It's two people coming together in a covenant that carries real spiritual weight, stepping into a partnership that's meant to grow them, stretch them, and ultimately point back to him.
• 0:41
  Daniel Moore: And yes, while that calling includes love, laughter, and those everyday moments like laundry and dishes, it's also about something much bigger than just us.
• 0:50
  Daniel Moore: It's about what God wants to do through us.
• 0:53
  Daniel Moore: In this week's episode, we're diving into what it really looks like to move beyond just trying to be happy in marriage and instead build something that has kingdom impact.
• 1:02
  Daniel Moore: Because the truth is, when we make happiness the goal, we often end up frustrated.
• 1:07
  Daniel Moore: But when we make God's purpose the goal, joy follows in a way we would never manufacture on our own.
• 1:12
  Daniel Moore: We're going to talk about what it means to row in the same direction, to shift from me and you to us for him, and how a marriage aligned with God's mission becomes one of the most powerful forces for transformation, not just in your home, but in the world around you.
• 1:28
  Daniel Moore: So lean in because this isn't just about having a better marriage, it's about stepping into a greater purpose together.
• 1:35
  Daniel Moore: Welcome to Marriage Life and More.
• 1:41
  Daniel Moore: This is a podcast about marriage, Bible, and book studies, where we interview people that have inspiring stories.
• 1:45
  Daniel Moore: I'm Daniel Moore, your host.
• 1:47
  Daniel Moore: Thank you guys for joining us this week.
• 1:49
  Daniel Moore: Over here next to me is my beautiful co-host, my wife Michelle.
• 1:52
  Daniel Moore: Hey, hey.
• 1:53
  Daniel Moore: If not familiar with our show, check out our website at www.marriagelifeandmore.com for our platforms.
• 1:59
  Daniel Moore: Our YouTube and Rumble links are there.
• 2:00
  Daniel Moore: We're also on the Christian Podcasting app Edifi.
• 2:03
  Daniel Moore: And we're also on your Alexa and Google Smart Devices.
• 2:06
  Daniel Moore: You can also visit us on social on Facebook, Instagram, and X at CTGAPOnline.
• 2:11
  Daniel Moore: And if you're a fan of our show, please subscribe.
• 2:13
  Daniel Moore: Feel free to leave a comment on our platforms.
• 2:15
  Daniel Moore: Give us a thumbs up or five-star review on Apple Podcasts, and we'd be thankful to you for doing that.
• 2:21
  Daniel Moore: Well, just want to give you a reminder before we get started into this week's episode that coming up on May 9th, I'm going to be at the Somewhere in Time bookstore in Web City, Missouri, and going to be doing a book signing there.
• 2:33
  Daniel Moore: So if you live in the local area and listen to us here or follow us on social media, I'd be glad to meet you if you'd like to come in.
• 2:41
  Daniel Moore: And maybe if you haven't bought a book, I'll have all three of them there with me that uh we've got available through our ministry here.
• 2:47
  Daniel Moore: So just go ahead and come on over.
• 2:48
  Daniel Moore: It's from 1 to 3 p.m.
• 2:50
  Daniel Moore: on that Saturday, May 9th.
• 2:52
  Daniel Moore: And again, that's at Somewhere in Time Bookstore in Webb City, Missouri.
• 2:56
  Daniel Moore: And I hope to see you there.
• 2:58
  Daniel Moore: Well, this week, as uh Michelle's feeling much, much better even than last week.
• 3:03
  Michelle Moore: Thank goodness.
• 3:04
  Daniel Moore: So we're gonna do another episode here with our series on marriage as a mission, which is based on the first book that I wrote.
• 3:13
  Daniel Moore: And you can pick a copy up of that anywhere, that books are sold online pretty much Amazon, Walmart, Barnes Noble, Books a Million, all over the place.
• 3:21
  Daniel Moore: If you don't have a copy of that, there's also a succession study guide that goes with that as well.
• 3:25
  Daniel Moore: And you can get that and follow along with us here as we go through this study here on Marriage Life and more.
• 3:31
  Daniel Moore: Well, this week we're going to go ahead and continue that with episode three, as we're going to be starting that one this week.
• 3:37
  Daniel Moore: And this one is about marriage as a kingdom partnership.
• 3:51
  Michelle Moore: Let's be honest for a moment.
• 3:53
  Michelle Moore: Marriage is far more than two people sharing a closet, coordinating schedules, and debating over thermostat settings.
• 4:01
  Michelle Moore: If that were the full extent of it, most couples would have it mastered within the first year.
• 4:06
  Michelle Moore: As Dan sits over here and laughs.
• 4:38
  Daniel Moore: It's our best moment.
• 4:40
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, that's it.
• 4:40
  Michelle Moore: That's it.
• 4:41
  Michelle Moore: From a kingdom perspective, marriage is a partnership with a purpose, a divine collaboration where two people come together to serve something greater than themselves.
• 4:52
  Michelle Moore: It's a teamwork on a God-given assignment where love, growth, sacrifice, and leadership intersect.
• 4:59
  Michelle Moore: And yes, sometimes that mission includes the everyday realities like laundry, dishes, and learning patience with one another.
• 5:07
  Daniel Moore: And I'm gonna cut in here for just a second before you go any further.
• 5:11
  Daniel Moore: If uh at this point in your life, where you're at, and with all the years that we've been married and everything that we've been through, and even previously before we got together, so if all them lessons that you've learned through all of that as you've grown in marriage and came to more understanding of what it is, if for some reason, if at this point in your life you were actually getting married and getting ready to walk down that aisle and say I do, what would that mean be for you today going into a new marriage?
• 5:46
  Daniel Moore: What would that in your mind, what do you uh what would that mean to you as far as uh what responsibility that marriage is that you're getting ready to take on, knowing what you know now versus what you knew back when you very first started?
• 6:03
  Michelle Moore: I think now I would definitely look at the responsibility to even remotely at its core of the values behind it, you know, the intimate relationship, it reflection of Christ, you know.
• 6:16
  Michelle Moore: Um, I think back then I didn't have any idea.
• 6:20
  Michelle Moore: I mean, it's like, oh, it's getting married, and yes, we're gonna stay together forever, you know, and serve God, but it's such a deeper, intimate relationship.
• 6:29
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, and it's self-sacrificing.
• 6:32
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 6:33
  Michelle Moore: And it means to give than rather to s receive.
• 6:40
  Michelle Moore: And I I can say that back then, even ten years ago, probably I was more selfish than I am now.
• 6:46
  Michelle Moore: I mean, it's just it's it's a deeper relationship.
• 6:49
  Daniel Moore: That's crazy how it takes time to learn that.
• 6:51
  Michelle Moore: Oh, yeah.
• 6:52
  Daniel Moore: So now I'm gonna have you continue.
• 6:54
  Daniel Moore: Okay, because this next paragraph pretty well kind of re explains that portion of what that means in a marriage.
• 7:01
  Daniel Moore: And I wanted to because I know with everything that we've been through, we've learned so much.
• 7:06
  Michelle Moore: So what it's like for you.
• 7:07
  Daniel Moore: It'd been the same, the same way.
• 7:09
  Daniel Moore: You know, I I I look at it, it's not just a oh, I get to marry my best friend and have a marriage now and do things together and all this fun marriage stuff.
• 7:18
  Daniel Moore: Uh it's it's actually got a deeper, more yeah, intimate meaning because when you include Christ, uh that that not only do we just have our life together in the home that we build, but we also now know how important it is to include God in that equation and how all of that wraps up together to make one big story and one big picture.
• 7:38
  Michelle Moore: Well, and I think also even if you put God in your marriage when you first get married, whether you're young or older or whatever, I think over time as your relationship with God, it grows deeper.
• 7:50
  Michelle Moore: You mature.
• 7:51
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, it becomes more intimate.
• 7:53
  Michelle Moore: So therefore your marriage grows and grows deeper and more intimate.
• 7:58
  Michelle Moore: And I think that is just as you get older, you learn those things and you just I mean, with if you talk about a baby Christian to a mature Christian, you know, all the things that they've been through makes them who they are that day, you know.
• 8:12
  Michelle Moore: So when you first get married, you're not gonna have all that maturity.
• 8:17
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 8:17
  Michelle Moore: Although Christ may be the center of it, just think about all the things that we've been through to where we're at today.
• 8:23
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 8:24
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, you definitely grow so much when you go through trials and tribulations and the valleys and the highs and the lows, all that different stuff.
• 8:32
  Michelle Moore: And I wouldn't change all of it because it's who it's made today, but my gosh, I love our relationship.
• 8:38
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 8:39
  Michelle Moore: Now I mean it's I mean, not that I didn't love it back then, but it's such a deeper connection and it's hard to explain.
• 8:48
  Michelle Moore: And I'm sure you that people that are older understand what I'm saying.
• 8:51
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 8:52
  Michelle Moore: You know, it's just not the same as what it was twenty years ago.
• 8:56
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 8:56
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 8:57
  Michelle Moore: So when two people stand before God and say, I do, they are stepping into something far more significant than simply committing to a lifelong relationship filled with each other's quirks, habits, and favorite streaming shows.
• 9:11
  Michelle Moore: They are entering into a covenant that carries spiritual weight and internal impact.
• 9:16
  Michelle Moore: In many ways, marriage becomes a kind of divine training ground, an environment where God shapes character, deepens faith, and teaches two individuals how to live out his love in tangible ways.
• 9:30
  Michelle Moore: Within that covenant, husbands and wives sharpen one another, encourage one another, challenge one another, and ultimately grow together in Christ.
• 9:40
  Michelle Moore: Their relationship becomes a living testimony to the world of God's faithfulness and design.
• 9:46
  Michelle Moore: The kingdom of God isn't simply looking for couples who appear happy on the surface.
• 9:51
  Michelle Moore: It needs strong purpose-driven partnerships built on faith, commitment, and a shared calling.
• 9:57
  Michelle Moore: Of course, learning to work in unity with another person, especially someone who may fold towels differently or organize the kitchen in ways that don't make sense to you may not always feel like sacred work.
• 10:09
  Michelle Moore: And at times it can feel routine, frustrating, or even exhausting.
• 10:15
  Michelle Moore: But the truth is that God often uses the ordinary moments of life to accomplish extraordinary things in our hearts and in his kingdom.
• 10:24
  Michelle Moore: Marriage lived according to God's design isn't about two individuals constantly pushing their own preferences or competing agendas.
• 10:35
  Michelle Moore: Instead, it is about becoming unified in heart, mind, and mission so that together they can pursue what God desires.
• 10:43
  Michelle Moore: In other words, the focus shifts from me and you to us for Him.
• 10:51
  Michelle Moore: That shift in perspective changes everything.
• 10:54
  Michelle Moore: So, what does it actually look like for a husband and wife to operate as a kingdom-focused couple?
• 11:01
  Michelle Moore: What does it mean to build a marriage that isn't just surviving the daily grind, but actively advancing God's purposes?
• 11:10
  Michelle Moore: Don't worry, we're not about to dive into complicated theological formulas or spiritual rocket science, because I am not that.
• 11:20
  Michelle Moore: Instead, we're going to explore practical ways that purpose and partnership work together in marriage and how a relationship aligned with God's mission can become one of the most powerful forces for transformation in the world.
• 11:36
  Michelle Moore: So buckle up, as Dean always says, because when marriages live the way God had designed it, it becomes far more than a love story.
• 11:46
  Michelle Moore: It becomes a mission.
• 11:48
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, honestly, when we as we start getting into this episode this week, I think it's something that a lot of couples don't think about whenever we get married, is how how does our marriage actually play in the factor of growing the kingdom?
• 12:06
  Daniel Moore: How does our marriages actually take a place in society where our marriage actually might make a difference in somebody else's?
• 12:15
  Michelle Moore: No, I I would say we don't often think that.
• 12:18
  Michelle Moore: And in fact, I don't think we really thought that.
• 12:20
  Daniel Moore: We didn't.
• 12:21
  Daniel Moore: And you know, it's taken, as we just discussed earlier, it's taken many years of being married and you know, working with other people with their relationships and their marriages and just all the different things that we see.
• 12:36
  Daniel Moore: You can take tidbits from here and there and all over the place.
• 12:38
  Daniel Moore: And as you put them together, they start creating this puzzle.
• 12:41
  Daniel Moore: This puzzle starts formulating, you start seeing the big picture.
• 12:44
  Daniel Moore: And I do think that, you know, a lot of times in our marriages, we do think of it's I'm gonna take care of me and you.
• 12:52
  Daniel Moore: That's really where we focus.
• 12:55
  Daniel Moore: And it seems like we can't get outside that bubble and outside that box.
• 13:00
  Daniel Moore: And that there is some truth to that because obviously, as a husband, I do want to take care of you as my wife.
• 13:06
  Daniel Moore: And you want to take care of me as their husband.
• 13:09
  Daniel Moore: We're our first priorities when it comes to just me and you as a married couple, but at the same time, one thing I think that we forget a lot of times in relationships, especially our marriages, is everything that you and I do for each other really reflects over into into the kingdom and what Christ would have us to do.
• 13:30
  Daniel Moore: And that gives it that much more meaning.
• 13:33
  Daniel Moore: That gives it that much more of a firm foundation to build upon.
• 13:37
  Daniel Moore: And, you know, there's I think a lot of times whenever we get into conflicts, we get into situations, Satan likes to come up and tell us that we're not worthy, first of all.
• 13:48
  Daniel Moore: And once he can successfully try to get in our minds individually, then it seems like he always kind of starts pushing over into the marriage then.
• 13:57
  Daniel Moore: And he starts putting in little arguments and you start having this discussion in your mind about does my spouse truly really love me?
• 14:05
  Daniel Moore: Does my spouse truly really appreciate what I do?
• 14:08
  Daniel Moore: Um, am I this alone on this island out here?
• 14:11
  Daniel Moore: You know, it's like he's really good at that.
• 14:14
  Daniel Moore: He's good at making us play this battle in our mind back and forth.
• 14:18
  Daniel Moore: And honestly, you know, with with you and I as an example, I think the more that we've built our marriage on a firm foundation of trying to look come at it from a Christian standpoint, from a godly standpoint, it's made it very a lot more difficult for Satan to get in between you and I.
• 14:36
  Daniel Moore: Uh, I think that I'm not saying that we never have negative thoughts, or I'm not saying that we never might have a little bit of a tiny conflict here and there or something that we have to work through.
• 14:47
  Daniel Moore: But it seems to me, just from my side of it, looking into our marriage, I think that we always approach it with a more positive stance than what we used to.
• 14:56
  Daniel Moore: And what happens when you go into things positive?
• 14:58
  Daniel Moore: You know, things usually work out.
• 15:00
  Michelle Moore: Well, we recognize the enemy.
• 15:02
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 15:03
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, and that's it makes a big difference.
• 15:05
  Daniel Moore: And that's key.
• 15:06
  Daniel Moore: You know, we've got to again, we come back to what we've talked about before in other episodes.
• 15:10
  Daniel Moore: We have to figure out who are we really fighting.
• 15:12
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 15:13
  Daniel Moore: You know, just because you and I have a conflict doesn't mean I'm really fighting you by yourself necessarily.
• 15:18
  Daniel Moore: Satan's in the middle of that trying to stir that pot too.
• 15:21
  Daniel Moore: And he's the one that's flaring this up and trying to put as much ammo as he can in there.
• 15:26
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 15:26
  Daniel Moore: And so when it comes to, you know, being kingdom-minded in our marriage and realizing that this is really more about what we can do for Christ with our marriage, because Christ has ordained what we're involved in already.
• 15:40
  Daniel Moore: He's the one that created this marriage covenant that that you and I have between each other.
• 15:45
  Daniel Moore: So why wouldn't we want to make sure that whatever you and I do in our marriage, that we give something back to God?
• 15:51
  Daniel Moore: Right.
• 15:51
  Daniel Moore: And we try to build a kingdom like He wants us to be.
• 16:13
  Daniel Moore: And he can come and attack us, say, Well, you just need to be happy.
• 17:06
  Daniel Moore: If that means cutting church out, or if that means cutting out this ministry that God's called you to, or if that means, you know, cutting out uh being in a ministry position towards other couples to help them grow, that's the first thing Satan wants us to get rid of.
• 17:19
  Daniel Moore: He wants us to give up all those things that God's called us into so that we can be happy, quote unquote happy personally.
• 17:26
  Daniel Moore: And in all reality, though, if we actually follow God's plan and we are truly called into something, he's going to give us the sustenance to make sure that we have that happiness that we need through Christ.
• 17:37
  Daniel Moore: He replaces that personal selfish type happiness sometimes that we long for.
• 17:43
  Daniel Moore: So one of the most important mindset shifts that we have to make in marriage is moving from the constant pursuit of personal happiness to the pursuit of kingdom impact.
• 17:53
  Daniel Moore: Now, before anyone panics out there that's listening to this or assumes this means marriage is supposed to be miserable, let's go ahead and clear this up.
• 18:01
  Daniel Moore: God is not anti-happiness.
• 18:03
  Daniel Moore: He's not in heaven, frowning every time that you know you or I laugh on a date night or enjoy a peaceful evening together.
• 18:10
  Daniel Moore: In fact, scripture consistently shows that God delights in blessing his people.
• 18:14
  Daniel Moore: He wants us to be happy.
• 18:16
  Daniel Moore: But here's the truth that many couples discover once the honeymoon phase fades and real life settles in.
• 18:23
  Daniel Moore: Happiness was never meant to be the central goal of marriage.
• 18:26
  Daniel Moore: Happiness is a byproduct of living in alignment with God's purposes, not the primary mission itself.
• 18:33
  Daniel Moore: So when you look at us and the ministries that we're involved in, do you feel like that sometimes whenever we have uh some ministry opportunity with someone else and we actually help another couple or we actually, you know, help an individual maybe get through a low time or whatever, does that create happiness for you?
• 18:54
  Michelle Moore: Oh, absolutely.
• 18:55
  Daniel Moore: You know, I don't think God He doesn't bypass the blessings.
• 18:59
  Daniel Moore: He really doesn't.
• 19:01
  Daniel Moore: And there's I know for myself, and we you and I have talked about this before.
• 19:05
  Daniel Moore: I think one of the things that really drives me even more so, just beside the fact that I want to do ministry because God's called me to it.
• 19:13
  Daniel Moore: But the other side of that, one thing that drives me a lot in this is I enjoy helping other people.
• 19:19
  Daniel Moore: You and I know what it's like to be at the bottom of the barrel, fighting each other, not having a good relationship, not having a good marriage.
• 19:26
  Daniel Moore: And you and both you and I both have talked about this.
• 19:29
  Daniel Moore: We both hate seeing other couples go through that.
• 19:31
  Daniel Moore: And when that happens, what do we do?
• 19:34
  Daniel Moore: We try to help.
• 19:35
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, you know, we tr we try to we pray about things and pray with them.
• 19:39
  Daniel Moore: We try to, you know, come up with something that might help that God reveals to us that we can share with them.
• 19:45
  Daniel Moore: You know, we do whatever we possibly can, and that generates a happiness in us also.
• 19:51
  Daniel Moore: Not to forget, not to put to the side that you and I do do things just individually that makes us happy as a married couple, but there's a whole different level of happiness when we're able to point somebody towards Christ and help them get through a situation in their life.
• 20:08
  Daniel Moore: So the trouble begins when we unconsciously treat our spouse like a happiness vending machine.
• 20:15
  Daniel Moore: We press certain buttons like attention, affirmation, affection, maybe the occasional foot rub, and expect our preferred emotional snack to drop out every time.
• 20:25
  Daniel Moore: But when that expectation isn't met, what happens?
• 20:29
  Daniel Moore: Disappointment sets in real quickly.
• 20:32
  Daniel Moore: Suddenly, we're frustrated, we're irritated, and we're wondering if the machine is broken.
• 20:38
  Daniel Moore: The reality is that no spouse, no matter how loving or devoted, was designed to carry the weight of being the sole source of another person's happiness.
• 20:47
  Daniel Moore: When we make happiness the goal, we create expectations that marriage was never designed to fulfill on its own.
• 20:54
  Daniel Moore: And that's when couples start experiencing what we might call serious marital hangriness, spiritually hungry, emotionally cranky, and wondering why the snacks stopped coming.
• 21:06
  Daniel Moore: And you and I have talked about this before.
• 21:08
  Daniel Moore: We've been there.
• 21:09
  Daniel Moore: There's been times that you put a lot of expectation into me to be a good husband, to fulfill your needs and to make you happy.
• 21:19
  Daniel Moore: And what what did I do?
• 21:22
  Michelle Moore: You failed.
• 21:22
  Daniel Moore: I failed you.
• 21:24
  Michelle Moore: This is on both sides, yeah.
• 21:26
  Daniel Moore: You know, it and we see this quite often even in other couples, especially the ones that we work with that are having uh, you know, some serious marital issues, you'll almost always come to the point where when you're talking with them, they'll it'll always come up.
• 21:43
  Daniel Moore: They're like, Well, I expected this, but it didn't happen.
• 21:46
  Daniel Moore: You know?
• 21:47
  Daniel Moore: Or I expected them to do this when all this happened and they didn't do it.
• 21:51
  Daniel Moore: Or they said they were gonna do it and then it happened and they didn't do it, you know.
• 21:55
  Daniel Moore: We put so much on each other sometimes, I think.
• 21:58
  Daniel Moore: And That can really be a huge emotional breakdown if you're not careful.
• 22:04
  Daniel Moore: And so Jesus actually gives us the proper order of priorities in Matthew 6.33.
• 22:09
  Daniel Moore: And we want to read that for us.
• 22:11
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
• 22:18
  Daniel Moore: So notice the sequence there.
• 22:20
  Daniel Moore: What's the first thing you do?
• 22:22
  Daniel Moore: You seek first the kingdom, right?
• 22:24
  Michelle Moore: Mm-hmm.
• 22:24
  Daniel Moore: So then the other things do what?
• 22:27
  Daniel Moore: They follow.
• 22:28
  Daniel Moore: That includes many of the things that we deeply desire in marriage, like peace, joy, security, and fulfillment.
• 22:34
  Daniel Moore: Those things are not wrong desires, but they arrive as the fruit of kingdom alignment, not as the foundation of the relationship itself.
• 22:42
  Daniel Moore: The problem appears when we begin asking the wrong question in our marriage.
• 22:47
  Daniel Moore: Instead of asking, is this making me happy?
• 22:50
  Daniel Moore: We should be asking, is this bringing God glory and helping us grow into who He's called us to be?
• 22:56
  Michelle Moore: That's really good.
• 22:57
  Daniel Moore: One question leads to shallow emotional waters that change with every circumstance.
• 23:02
  Daniel Moore: And that's the one, is this making me happy?
• 23:05
  Daniel Moore: The other lands to spiritual depth and transformation.
• 23:08
  Daniel Moore: Kingdom Impact requires some spiritual muscle.
• 23:11
  Daniel Moore: And yes, sometimes that means sacrificing a little personal comfort along the way.
• 23:16
  Daniel Moore: There's times, like I said earlier, and you and I have both been where God's made us uncomfortable.
• 23:21
  Daniel Moore: He's put us in situations sometimes that we're just like full of questions, like what is going on here?
• 23:27
  Daniel Moore: You know?
• 23:28
  Daniel Moore: And but later on, almost every time it seems like somewhere down the road, we figure it out.
• 23:34
  Daniel Moore: All of a sudden God reveals it to us, and we start seeing what's going on with that.
• 23:40
  Daniel Moore: So we can think of it this way: imagine your marriage as a rowing boat.
• 23:45
  Daniel Moore: If both of you grab an oar but row in completely different directions, and Michelle and I have kayaked before, we know what happens.
• 23:53
  Michelle Moore: When we first started out, that would be so true.
• 23:56
  Daniel Moore: You're not going to go anywhere productive when you do that.
• 23:59
  Daniel Moore: One spouse may be paddling toward the island called Unlimited Shopping and Target Runs, while the other is rowing hard towards football quiet and snacks.
• 24:07
  Daniel Moore: And that's me.
• 24:08
  Daniel Moore: The result?
• 24:10
  Daniel Moore: It's a lot of effort, a lot of splashing, and the boat's going to spin in circles.
• 24:15
  Daniel Moore: But when both spouses fix their eyes on the same destination, God's purposes, and row in unity, suddenly the boat moves forward.
• 24:23
  Daniel Moore: Even if you pass a few favorite islands along the way, you're moving towards something far greater.
• 24:28
  Daniel Moore: Philippians 2.4 reminds us to let each of you look not only to his own interest, but also to the interest of others.
• 24:34
  Daniel Moore: So imagine how powerful a marriage becomes when each spouse prioritizes the other spiritual growth, calling, and Christ-likeness over temporary personal comfort.
• 24:44
  Daniel Moore: Now the boat isn't just moving, it's actually gaining some serious momentum.
• 24:48
  Daniel Moore: And I think a lot of times we see people that are both grabbing the oars, and we see that happening.
• 24:55
  Daniel Moore: Michelle and I have been in a tandem kayak before where they're both of us were in the same one, and we had to figure that out.
• 25:07
  Daniel Moore: Even after kayaking for a long time, we had to figure that out.
• 25:10
  Daniel Moore: Uh was it Colorado, what, two years ago, I think it was, and we went on a uh whitewater rafting thing, but we got the two men kayak, and uh it took us a little bit to figure that out because we were both kind of going against each other.
• 25:27
  Michelle Moore: Just want you to know I finally just gave up and let Daniel didn't because we weren't, it wasn't working out well for us.
• 25:34
  Daniel Moore: No, it sure wasn't.
• 25:36
  Daniel Moore: But so that's a good example of what happens in your marriage when you do that, and you just you don't work together.
• 25:42
  Daniel Moore: So Jesus himself modeled this mindset in the most powerful way possible.
• 25:46
  Daniel Moore: In the Garden of Gethsemane facing the cross, he didn't pray, Father, let's just do whatever feels easiest tonight.
• 25:53
  Daniel Moore: Instead, he prayed, Not as I will, but as you will.
• 25:56
  Daniel Moore: And that's in Matthew 26, 39.
• 25:58
  Daniel Moore: That moment reveals the heart of kingdom living, surrendering personal preference for a greater purpose.
• 26:05
  Daniel Moore: And since Scripture tells us that marriage is meant to reflect Christ's relationship with the church in Ephesians 5, that same spirit of sacrifice becomes part of the assignment.
• 26:15
  Daniel Moore: In marriage, sacrifice isn't the exception, it's normal operating procedures.
• 26:20
  Daniel Moore: Sometimes that means choosing grace instead of keeping a mental scoreboard.
• 26:25
  Daniel Moore: Sometimes it means praying together when you'd rather retreat into separate corners.
• 26:30
  Daniel Moore: And sometimes it means serving your spouse when all you really want to do is disappear under a blanket with Netflix and a bowl of snacks.
• 26:37
  Daniel Moore: But here's the kingdom secret many couples eventually discover.
• 26:41
  Daniel Moore: When we stop chasing personal happiness and start chasing God's heart together, something remarkable happens.
• 26:47
  Daniel Moore: Joy shows up in places that we didn't expect.
• 26:51
  Daniel Moore: And it's deeper than the kind of happiness that comes from good moods or comfortable circumstances.
• 26:56
  Daniel Moore: It's the kind of joy that grows through shared faith, shared purpose, and shared surrender.
• 27:00
  Daniel Moore: That's marriage with kingdom impact.
• 27:02
  Daniel Moore: And honestly, that's worth rowing for.
• 27:05
  Daniel Moore: When you think of joy, do you notice a difference in the joy that is generated between you and I's marriage and the joy that actually comes when God's a part of that?
• 27:15
  Michelle Moore: Oh, yeah.
• 27:16
  Daniel Moore: What what what do you see the difference there between those two kinds of joy?
• 27:21
  Michelle Moore: I would think, you know, honestly, the joy that comes from God, it's just ever bounding.
• 27:27
  Michelle Moore: Like it always is coming out, and it's always I don't know.
• 27:31
  Michelle Moore: Sometimes when you try, like if me and you just have joy, it's just kind of I don't even want to know what the word is.
• 27:40
  Michelle Moore: It's not superficial, but it is to the point.
• 27:43
  Michelle Moore: It's like it's happy and no, but when you have joy from the Lord, it just comes out of the heart and it just overflows and it's constantly and it will always be uplifting to the other person.
• 27:55
  Michelle Moore: And I feel like, you know, you can tell the difference.
• 27:57
  Michelle Moore: I mean, I'm happy, but you can tell when I'm really happy.
• 28:00
  Michelle Moore: You know, the joy is overflowing with me, with you.
• 28:04
  Michelle Moore: And so it benefits our marriage.
• 28:07
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 28:08
  Daniel Moore: And I think sometimes the joy that just happens just with you and me, that can be so temperamental.
• 28:13
  Daniel Moore: It can be there one minute and gone the next.
• 28:16
  Michelle Moore: That's good.
• 28:16
  Daniel Moore: But if God is a part of the source of that joy, then it seems like a lot of times those little issues that might come up that would cause our joy to fade just doesn't happen because God's in the middle of that.
• 28:27
  Daniel Moore: He's he's our foundation at that point.
• 28:29
  Daniel Moore: And you know, I do, I feel like there is a difference between the two if we just allow God to work in our marriage and supply that joy for us.
• 28:38
  Daniel Moore: That I think that means a lot.
• 28:39
  Michelle Moore: I think we're pretty joyful.
• 28:41
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 28:42
  Michelle Moore: I mean, I don't it's kind of weird because I honestly, you know, when I think about it, I'm not a frumpy kind of person.
• 28:49
  Michelle Moore: And you know, I don't I don't I don't know.
• 28:54
  Michelle Moore: I just don't I'm a very joyful person.
• 28:57
  Daniel Moore: Well, I do think that since we've worked on our marriage and we've allowed God to help us heal our wounds and the different things that's happened, I can really go back to that point where I see from that point forward, oh yeah, we've had a lot of joy in our life.
• 29:13
  Daniel Moore: And I think a lot of that was Christ generated.
• 29:15
  Daniel Moore: Oh, absolutely.
• 29:16
  Daniel Moore: Um, if we hadn't have let God come in and transform our marriage the way that He did, it'd be a lot more effort, I think, for us to keep that joy sometimes.
• 29:24
  Daniel Moore: But both of us know that we're on a mission together.
• 29:26
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 29:27
  Daniel Moore: We know that God has a plan for us and He's using us, and when that happens, it gives us a whole different outlook and a whole different perspective on that.
• 29:35
  Daniel Moore: You know, here's the the beautiful irony of the kingdom of God, the very thing that people spend their entire lives chasing, personal happiness, is often waiting for them on the other side of surrender.
• 29:46
  Daniel Moore: When happiness becomes the primary pursuit, it tends to stay just out of reach, like trying to grab smoke with your hands.
• 29:54
  Daniel Moore: But when we shift our focus towards seeking God's purposes, especially within our marriage, we discover something better than fleeting happiness.
• 30:02
  Daniel Moore: We stumble into a deeper joy than we could have engineered on our own.
• 30:05
  Daniel Moore: And why is that?
• 30:07
  Daniel Moore: It's because happiness in Christ isn't something we manufacture or chase down, it's something we inherit when our lives are aligned with his design.
• 30:16
  Daniel Moore: And you know, just like you and I were just talking, that joy that we have because Christ is the one that's generating it between us, uh, that's that's a deeper joy than we could ever think of having, just doing it on our own.
• 30:29
  Michelle Moore: And I think if you if you've ever had joy of the Lord, you know the difference.
• 30:34
  Michelle Moore: Yes, you can tell the difference.
• 30:36
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, and you can tell when you lose it.
• 30:38
  Michelle Moore: Yes.
• 30:38
  Michelle Moore: So, I mean, if you don't have never experienced that, you know, be seeking that because honestly, you can tell the difference.
• 30:46
  Michelle Moore: And you can tell it in your marriage as well.
• 30:49
  Daniel Moore: And joy is one of the fruits of the spirit.
• 30:50
  Daniel Moore: That's right.
• 30:51
  Daniel Moore: And so if you're gonna have the spirit live inside of you, if you're gonna truly have Christ living in you and and the Holy Spirit there to guide you, you're gonna have that joy because that is a fruit that comes out of that.
• 31:01
  Michelle Moore: There's one person that I always think of when I see this particular man, he always happy, like fist bumping people, you know who I'm talking about.
• 31:14
  Michelle Moore: Went to our old church and you know, always happy, always smiling, always laughing.
• 31:20
  Michelle Moore: And I'm just like the joy just exuberates out of him.
• 31:24
  Michelle Moore: And it's just, and he loves the Lord with all his heart, and it's just it has always intrigued me because I'm just like, I want that.
• 31:32
  Michelle Moore: I want what he has.
• 31:35
  Michelle Moore: And it's like he just it comes so naturally to him.
• 31:39
  Michelle Moore: And he's just he's an amazing man.
• 31:42
  Michelle Moore: And I'm just like, dang, he's so good.
• 31:44
  Michelle Moore: It's he doesn't even have to try.
• 31:46
  Michelle Moore: I mean, it just I mean, some of us have to try.
• 31:50
  Daniel Moore: Yeah.
• 31:50
  Michelle Moore: Uh some of us are, you know, not as we're stern-faced, even though we have the joy in us, but we it doesn't come across as always like joy.
• 31:59
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 31:59
  Michelle Moore: So, but this this man, I'll just tell you guys who it is if you know it.
• 32:03
  Michelle Moore: I don't know if everybody listens, but Joey, Joey Rogers, yeah, just amazes me when I'm around him.
• 32:09
  Michelle Moore: You can see him for years, and he's next thing you know, you see him, he's hugging you, telling you he loves you, and he genuinely means it.
• 32:18
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, yeah, he's an awesome guy.
• 32:20
  Daniel Moore: Known him since I was a kid.
• 32:22
  Daniel Moore: And he's always kind of had that demeanor about him.
• 32:26
  Daniel Moore: Uh, but especially now since Christ has came into his life and he's been living for Christ for years now, it does, it just radiates.
• 32:33
  Michelle Moore: Yeah, and and you pick up on people like that.
• 32:36
  Michelle Moore: Like you can see, and it's like, you know, it's like, oh what he's different.
• 32:40
  Michelle Moore: Like, what's going on, you know?
• 32:42
  Michelle Moore: So I just makes you want it.
• 32:44
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 32:44
  Daniel Moore: That's for sure.
• 32:45
  Daniel Moore: Yeah, Psalm 1611 gives us a powerful reminder of this truth.
• 32:49
  Daniel Moore: You make known to me the path of life.
• 32:52
  Daniel Moore: In your presence, there's fullness of joy, and at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
• 32:57
  Daniel Moore: So notice where the fullness of the joy is found.
• 33:00
  Daniel Moore: Where is that?
• 33:02
  Michelle Moore: God's presence.
• 33:03
  Daniel Moore: It's in God's presence.
• 33:04
  Daniel Moore: It's not in perfect circumstances, it's not in a flawless marriage, and it's definitely not in a spouse who never forgets to take out the trash.
• 33:12
  Daniel Moore: True joy flows from a life anchored in God's presence and purpose.
• 33:16
  Daniel Moore: That means a marriage centered on kingdom priorities will always produce greater emotional and spiritual fulfillment than one built primarily on self-centered expectations.
• 33:26
  Daniel Moore: When a couple aligns their marriage around God's mission, which is serving Him, growing in Christ, and loving one another sacrificially, they often find that God faithfully provides the joy that they were searching for all of long.
• 33:39
  Daniel Moore: It's always amazing how that happens.
• 33:42
  Daniel Moore: We finally invite God in and we allow him to take over.
• 33:45
  Daniel Moore: We become humble and we take the pride out of our life and give ourselves to Christ, and all of a sudden we start finding out there is a lot of happiness in life.
• 33:54
  Daniel Moore: There is a lot of joy to be had out there.
• 33:56
  Daniel Moore: It's just crazy how that changes.
• 33:58
  Daniel Moore: And you know, both you and I both have experienced that.
• 34:01
  Daniel Moore: You know, many people treat happiness like a destination on a GPS.
• 34:06
  Daniel Moore: They plug it into life's navigation system and assume that if they take the right path, they find the right spouse, reach the right career level, live in the right house, then they'll finally arrive.
• 34:17
  Daniel Moore: But Jesus reframed that idea completely in John 15, 11, when he said, These things I've spoken to you that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
• 34:29
  Daniel Moore: You know, according to Jesus, joy isn't something you arrive at.
• 34:33
  Daniel Moore: It's something that grows inside of you as you abide in him.
• 34:37
  Daniel Moore: In other words, joy is relational, not circumstantial.
• 34:42
  Daniel Moore: So when a husband and wife commit to building a marriage rooted in Christ, and they start serving one another, forgiving one another, encouraging one another, and growing together in faith, they often discover that joy becomes a natural companion along the journey.
• 34:58
  Daniel Moore: So the truth is kingdom living doesn't require us to give up happiness, it simply redefines it.
• 35:05
  Daniel Moore: It upgrades our understanding of joy from temporary emotional highs to lasting spiritual fulfillment.
• 35:11
  Daniel Moore: Instead of depending on mood, convenience, or perfect circumstances, kingdom joy grows stronger through faith, obedience, and shared purpose.
• 35:21
  Daniel Moore: And the best part, a marriage built around Kingdom Impact doesn't just bless the two people inside the relationship.
• 35:28
  Daniel Moore: It spills over into families, churches, friendships, and communities.
• 35:33
  Daniel Moore: It influences children, encourages other couples, and leaves a legacy of faith.
• 35:39
  Daniel Moore: Isn't it amazing how much joy can change all of that?
• 35:44
  Daniel Moore: And we would never know if we don't get out there and start pursuing God's plan for our marriage and start pursuing what he's wanting us to do and filling, fulfilling those desires of our heart that he gives us.
• 36:00
  Michelle Moore: Right.
• 36:01
  Daniel Moore: And I'm just so thankful that even in you and I, in our relationship and our marriage, I'm I'm so thankful for that joy that you and I have.
• 36:09
  Daniel Moore: Um, because not only do we now have a joy of being with each other, but we love serving together.
• 36:15
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 36:16
  Daniel Moore: We love there's things that we couldn't do on our own that we can do because it's you and I.
• 36:21
  Michelle Moore: Yeah.
• 36:22
  Daniel Moore: And I'm so thankful for that because there it there is a limitation sometimes.
• 36:27
  Daniel Moore: Now, God will give individual people a calling.
• 36:29
  Daniel Moore: I have no doubt about that.
• 36:31
  Daniel Moore: But there are some things that it takes a couple to do.
• 36:34
  Daniel Moore: And when you can get a couple together that's on the same mind frame, uh so many things can happen.
• 36:40
  Daniel Moore: So as we wrap up here, that's the kind of joy that God designed marriage to produce.
• 36:46
  Daniel Moore: It's not the fragile kind that disappears with stress or unmet expectations, but the resilient kind that grows stronger the more two people walk with Jesus together.
• 36:56
  Daniel Moore: And when a husband and wife pursue that kind of purpose side by side, they discover something amazing.
• 37:02
  Daniel Moore: The deeper they live for Christ, the richer their joy becomes.
• 37:06
  Daniel Moore: So I think that's a good way to wrap up the episode for this week.
• 37:11
  Daniel Moore: Do you have anything to add to that one?
• 37:13
  Michelle Moore: No.
• 37:15
  Daniel Moore: I just I just want to encourage everybody out there, if you're having issues in your marriage and that happiness isn't there, and that joy isn't there, um, you know, Michelle and I both know that that can happen just because of life.
• 37:29
  Daniel Moore: We know life happens and we totally understand that, but that's still something God can handle.
• 37:36
  Daniel Moore: If you go to Christ, you go to God and you put it at his feet, he will make sure that as long as you're putty in his hands, let him be the potter and you be the clay.
• 37:47
  Daniel Moore: You know, God can fix so many things.
• 37:49
  Daniel Moore: Michelle and I are a perfect example of that.
• 37:52
  Daniel Moore: And I'm just so thankful for the joy that the Holy Spirit has put inside of me.
• 37:58
  Daniel Moore: And I love watching even, you know, my wife Michelle over here.
• 38:01
  Daniel Moore: I just I love watching her because she um has a joy that just comes out of her.
• 38:06
  Daniel Moore: And it's just so neat to watch, you know, people be like a magnet.
• 38:10
  Daniel Moore: They just come to her for a lot of things, they have a trust in her and things that she will say.
• 38:16
  Daniel Moore: And we know that a lot of times that's not just something that you would come up with if it wasn't for Christ in you.
• 38:23
  Daniel Moore: And I'm just thankful that that you follow God and a lot of the things that you say.
• 38:28
  Daniel Moore: And I know there's a lot of people out there that appreciate that as well.
• 38:32
  Daniel Moore: Uh, next week, when we come back, we will finish up part two of this episode here on Marriage as a kingdom partnership.
• 38:42
  Daniel Moore: So don't forget that you can visit our website at marriagelifeandmore.com, and there you'll see all of our platforms we're on.
• 38:59
  Daniel Moore: You can email us, uh, send a message to us through the website, and please subscribe and share.
• 39:05
  Daniel Moore: Especially share.
• 39:06
  Daniel Moore: That's what helps this podcaster grow and help other people, help other couples and things that they may be going through.
• 39:13
  Daniel Moore: And uh, we'd just appreciate that if you would do that for us.
• 39:17
  Daniel Moore: So, as we wrap up this episode this week, here's the truth that we want to leave with you.
• 39:21
  Daniel Moore: Marriage was never meant to be sustained by feelings alone, it was designed to be anchored in purpose.
• 39:27
  Daniel Moore: When two people commit not just to loving each other, but to pursuing God together, everything begins to shift.
• 39:34
  Daniel Moore: The frustrations, they don't magically disappear, and the challenges don't suddenly vanish, but they take on a new meaning.
• 39:42
  Daniel Moore: Instead of pulling you apart, they begin to shape you, refine you, and draw you closer, not just to each other, but to Christ.
• 39:50
  Daniel Moore: A kingdom-focused marriage isn't perfect, but it is powerful.
• 39:54
  Daniel Moore: It's a relationship where grace is practiced daily, sacrifice becomes normal, and unity becomes the driving force.
• 40:02
  Daniel Moore: And when you begin to live with that us for him mindset, you'll find that your marriage isn't just surviving, it's moving forward with purpose and impact.
• 40:11
  Daniel Moore: So, as y'all go this week, we want to challenge you.
• 40:14
  Daniel Moore: Take one step, just one, toward aligning your marriage more with God's purpose.
• 40:20
  Daniel Moore: Maybe it's praying together, encouraging your spouse in their walk with Christ, or choosing unity in a moment where it would be easier to pull apart.
• 40:28
  Daniel Moore: Small steps in the same direction create real momentum.
• 40:32
  Daniel Moore: And remember, you're not just building a life together, you're building something that can echo into eternity.
• 40:38
  Daniel Moore: So thank you for joining us this week on Marriage Life and More.
• 40:41
  Daniel Moore: And if this podcast encouraged you, please be sure to share with another couple who needs it.
• 40:46
  Daniel Moore: And don't forget to subscribe so that you don't miss the next episode and what's coming next.
• 40:51
  Daniel Moore: Well, that's going to be all for this week, and we pray as we go that your marriage is stronger and your walk with God is closer after this episode.
• 40:58
  Daniel Moore: This is an extension of Connecting the Gap Ministries, and we pray that you have a blessed week.