Latest / Gospel Tech with Nathan Sutherland / Sleep, Screens, and Free Time (Back to School!)

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Sleep, Screens, and Free Time (Back to School!) · Gospel Tech with Nathan Sutherland

0:01
Speaker 1: Purposely your life, God's purpose. Listen it purposely dot com everybody.
0:14
Speaker 1: School is coming quickly, and as we look at beginning
0:18
Speaker 1: of school year, I want to focus our minds back
0:20
Speaker 1: on what it looks like to reclaim some of this
0:23
Speaker 1: time and be deliberate with the time we spend. Specifically,
0:27
Speaker 1: I want us to claim those healthy habits, those healthy
0:30
Speaker 1: rhythms for the school year and make that transition from
0:33
Speaker 1: the free time we had in the summer to really
0:35
Speaker 1: deliberate use of this time, because now is when we
0:37
Speaker 1: can set some healthy habits. Let's not wait until November
0:40
Speaker 1: or February and begin to kind of panic catch up
0:43
Speaker 1: that'll carry us all the way till June and then
0:45
Speaker 1: we slump our way into summer and just pray for
0:50
Speaker 1: a longer time away from school. Instead, we can make
0:53
Speaker 1: this time really deliberate. So first we're going to schedule sleep.
0:57
Speaker 1: Then we're going to minimize our time, and I'll it's
1:01
Speaker 1: not just to be away from them, but it's to
1:03
Speaker 1: be deliberate with the time. And screen time is one
1:05
Speaker 1: of those things that has a tendency to just leach
1:08
Speaker 1: into all of our priorities. So we'll be deliberate with it.
1:12
Speaker 1: I'll be clear on that. And then we're gonna pick
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Speaker 1: our top three priorities. So we're gonna schedule our sleep,
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Speaker 1: we're gonna minimize our screen time, and we're gonna pick
1:20
Speaker 1: our priorities and just three of them. Because, as you'll see,
1:22
Speaker 1: school brings a certain amount of rhythm to it that
1:24
Speaker 1: often doesn't have the amount of I don't know, liquid time,
1:28
Speaker 1: fluid time, time that we can spend as we would
1:32
Speaker 1: schedule sleep. I'm putting this as one a because first
1:35
Speaker 1: summer often gives us the opportunity for sleep and doesn't
1:38
Speaker 1: force us to manage it well. Research reminds us, very
1:43
Speaker 1: lovingly what many of us know. Our kids generally need
1:45
Speaker 1: more sleep. They need nine hours of sleep a night,
1:48
Speaker 1: not of being in bed. So this isn't well. I
1:51
Speaker 1: send them to their bed at nine pm and they
1:53
Speaker 1: can watch a show and be on their phone, text
1:56
Speaker 1: their friends, play their favorite video games, search the internet,
1:58
Speaker 1: and like they fall asleep whenever they fall asleep, but
2:01
Speaker 1: they're quiet and they're in their room. That is not
2:03
Speaker 1: what we are talking about. Research tells us that when
2:07
Speaker 1: children get enough sleep, they improve in their memory recall,
2:12
Speaker 1: so their ability to retain information specifically academic information in
2:16
Speaker 1: this case, to manage their emotions, their anger, their anxiety,
2:21
Speaker 1: their positive emotions. They can temper them better. Even though
2:24
Speaker 1: they're missing some of the hardware the frontal cortex, it
2:26
Speaker 1: allows them to inhibit certain choices. They do better when
2:30
Speaker 1: they have nine or more hours of sleep. It helps
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Speaker 1: their mental health, so their feelings of anxiety are lower
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Speaker 1: and their feeling of depression is lower. If you have
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Speaker 1: a child who either exhibits behavior that looks anxious or depressed,
2:45
Speaker 1: or can verbialize I feel anxious or depressed, more sleep
2:49
Speaker 1: is one a for that. Now, sometimes an example of
2:54
Speaker 1: depression is they want to sleep forever, and I understand
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Speaker 1: that right. They just want to stay asleep and they
2:58
Speaker 1: don't want to get out of bed at all. That
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Speaker 1: is again that's a fruit of depression. So maybe more
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Speaker 1: sleep than that young person's life isn't exactly what we're
3:10
Speaker 1: looking for. What we're looking for is deliberate amounts of sleep,
3:13
Speaker 1: scheduled sleep. So we're going to get our nine hours,
3:15
Speaker 1: our ten hours, and now we're going to get up
3:17
Speaker 1: and find purpose in the day. But oftentimes it's the
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Speaker 1: extreme fatigue and the extreme overload for our minds and
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Speaker 1: our hearts and our bodies. That leads us to that
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Speaker 1: kind of burnout level of I just can't remove myself
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Speaker 1: in this bed because they don't see the purpose of
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Speaker 1: any of that. I just am trying to separate those too.
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Speaker 1: So where was I It was memory, it was physical growth.
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Speaker 1: There's mental growth and its ability process emotions. Well, so,
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Speaker 1: Matthew Walker's book Why We Sleep is a great spot
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Speaker 1: where he compiles a lot of the research on sleep.
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Speaker 1: It's all the way back from twenty seventeen, so we're
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Speaker 1: coming upon ten years now, but that book still does
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Speaker 1: a very nice job of covering a lot of why
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Speaker 1: we sleep, why it's important, and why this is a
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Speaker 1: priority for young and developing brains. Nine hours a night.
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Speaker 1: That's not just for elementary kids or junior higres. This
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Speaker 1: is for high schooler and that's a nearly laughable number
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Speaker 1: in America. The reason I put this is that first
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Speaker 1: for us to focus on as we head to the
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Speaker 1: school year is it's the easiest to forego because we
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Speaker 1: are so success oriented and we operate on what we
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Speaker 1: see right now. Well, my child is doing well, good grades,
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Speaker 1: good kid, seems to be perfectly healthy, has friends, is involved,
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Speaker 1: loves the Lord. Moving on five to six hours of
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Speaker 1: sleep a night. It is not sustainable. It will not work.
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Speaker 1: The only reason it's working is your child has a
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Speaker 1: lot of slack in the line from being young and
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Speaker 1: can pull out that slack. As things begin to unravel.
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Speaker 1: Eventually that rope comes tight, and that's when the reckoning happens.
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Speaker 1: That's when anxiety spikes, That's when depression sets in, that's
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Speaker 1: when physical burnout sets in. That's where believing lies. Frankly,
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Speaker 1: the brain starts to lie to the child and the
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Speaker 1: child starts to act on those lies. Like we are
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Speaker 1: seeing this in young people, not simply from lies that
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Speaker 1: the Internet gives them, although that is part of it,
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Speaker 1: but from lies that they will believe within the themselves,
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Speaker 1: because not they don't understand, say the Bible and what
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Speaker 1: God says about them, but because their body begins lying
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Speaker 1: to them through the chemicals and hormones that are now
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Speaker 1: president in their body because of the extremely high levels
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Speaker 1: of things like cortisol, which is a stress hormone, when
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Speaker 1: their body goes into fight in flight mode, and it
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Speaker 1: causes them to interpret reality differently. We must give our
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Speaker 1: children a chance to sleep. Yes, there's a time in sports,
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Speaker 1: and a time in leadership, and a time in life
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Speaker 1: when we go without sleep, Like you have a baby,
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Speaker 1: You're gonna get less sleep and that's fine for that season.
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Speaker 1: It's not healthy and it's not sustainable. I say that
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Speaker 1: with a smile on my face because we've had three
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Speaker 1: humans and it's so predictable. But that doesn't change how
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Speaker 1: hard it is. We're talking about children, not the people
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Speaker 1: who have children, and these humans need nine hours of
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Speaker 1: sleep a night. We must schedule that, like put it
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Speaker 1: on our calendar to say, how is my child going
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Speaker 1: to get nine hours to sleep a night? If your
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Speaker 1: child has a practice that requires they be there, come
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Speaker 1: home each shower, and are getting to bed at nine
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Speaker 1: thirty or ten pm, that means they need to sleep
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Speaker 1: in till seven am. If your school schedule doesn't allow
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Speaker 1: them to sleep till seven am, something else has to give.
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Speaker 1: Maybe it's that the sport is only two or three
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Speaker 1: months long. A season of two to three months with
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Speaker 1: low sleep will impact grades and friendships and development. But
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Speaker 1: as long as nothing really intense is happening, maybe we
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Speaker 1: can justify that. And many of us have children that
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Speaker 1: play year round sports nine months a year during developing emotional, physical,
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Speaker 1: and mental stages of life. We can't be having children
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Speaker 1: go nine months a year with minimal amounts of sleep
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Speaker 1: sub nine hours. We must be giving them every opportunity
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Speaker 1: at healthy, well rounded adulthood. And that might not include
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Speaker 1: professional sports. If professional sports requires that they do not
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Speaker 1: get enough sleep, so schedule to sleep. And I'm saying
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Speaker 1: this strongly because it is so easy for me to
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Speaker 1: justify on a good outcome that I see. I love
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Speaker 1: watching my children play sports, especially sports that they experience
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Speaker 1: success at. It's awesome. I love seeing my children have
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Speaker 1: good friends. I love seeing my children ex extend themselves
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Speaker 1: and experience new things in life. And I have to
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Speaker 1: recognize that my children are finite humans and the most
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Speaker 1: important thing they can do is learn how to trust
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Speaker 1: God with their purpose and identity and rest in God's
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Speaker 1: finished work. That in the Gospel, we're told that God
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Speaker 1: saves sinners and calls them to good works and accomplishes
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Speaker 1: that good work through them through the Holy Spirit that
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Speaker 1: He put in them. Since Pentecost, Jesus died, rose again,
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Speaker 1: returned to the right hand of the Father, and gave
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Speaker 1: us the promised Holy Spirit. So the Holy Spirit is
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Speaker 1: the one accomplishing our work. So yeah, add some great
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Speaker 1: education to that, and add some incredible high tier sports
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Speaker 1: to that, and add some really robust friendships to that,
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Speaker 1: But don't think that any one of those things is
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Speaker 1: more important than your ability to know the living God
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Speaker 1: and rest in who He's called you to be. A
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Speaker 1: literal part of rest is rest like sleeping, rest like
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Speaker 1: it's a gift God gives it to the righteous. We
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Speaker 1: aren't out to just strive every moment of our day
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Speaker 1: so that one day we can matter and we can
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Speaker 1: see God's kingdom come on our fa When he says
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Speaker 1: well done, good and faithful servant, it's not because we've
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Speaker 1: impressed him. It's because we were faithful to his call.
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Speaker 1: And the first call is to believe in the one
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Speaker 1: he sent that Jesus did the work, so we don't
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Speaker 1: have to strive anymore. This is what the author of
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Speaker 1: Hebrews does a beautiful job of saying, like every day
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Speaker 1: is the Sabbath now, because our great High Priest daily
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Speaker 1: brings a sacrifice on our behalf so that we can
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Speaker 1: be right before the Father, Like every day's the Sabbath,
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Speaker 1: we can rest from our works for righteousness, and then
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Speaker 1: work because we have rested because God has brought us
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Speaker 1: the peace we need, and we want to share that
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Speaker 1: with others. I share all of that because I believe
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Speaker 1: lies about what needs to be done to see my
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Speaker 1: children have a good future. Be it the schools they
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Speaker 1: go to, or the classes they get, or the friends
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Speaker 1: they make, or the things they achieve, or the things
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Speaker 1: I do, or the way I parent, And there are
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Speaker 1: important things there. There are deliberate ways we can support
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Speaker 1: our children in their full potential, and one of the
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Speaker 1: deliberate ways is getting them rest. In America, we struggle
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Speaker 1: with this because rest feels like quitting college is expensive
9:03
Speaker 1: and that's scary. Sana and I look at our three
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Speaker 1: kids looking at college. We've done the math. That is
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Speaker 1: where Amazing University is like George Fox University. Come in.
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Speaker 1: If you get a three point five or higher, a
9:13
Speaker 1: twenty thousand dollars grant to students right off the bat,
9:16
Speaker 1: merit based, then you can apply for more grants. These
9:19
Speaker 1: are grants, not loans that you do not have to
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Speaker 1: repay up to twenty three thousand more dollars. One hundred
9:23
Speaker 1: percent of students get financial aid, and your average student
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Speaker 1: is looking somewhere in the range of twenty five thousand
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Speaker 1: dollars a year to attend school there. This is a
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Speaker 1: christ following university where one hundred percent of staff are
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Speaker 1: professing Christians that have a high level of academic rigor
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Speaker 1: and excellence, and that are looking to raise not just
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Speaker 1: safe kids, but young adults who can lead and wherever
9:42
Speaker 1: the Lord plants them and serve and love their community.
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Speaker 1: Check out George Fox University. Do an on site visit.
9:47
Speaker 1: You get a thousand dollars scholarship right off the bat.
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Speaker 1: As you look at colleges, make sure that George Fox
9:52
Speaker 1: University is on the list as a place with high
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Speaker 1: level of excellence and academics that can make this a
9:57
Speaker 1: dream come true for you and your family. Hear me
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Speaker 1: on that schedule your sleep. I want to be very
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Speaker 1: clear on what this will look like. So my son
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Speaker 1: is going to My oldest is going into junior high
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Speaker 1: next year. His school starts at seven forty five, So
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Speaker 1: a schedule for this looks like waking up at six thirty,
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Speaker 1: breakfast at seven, driving to school at seven twenty five.
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Speaker 1: Now that's only what is that fifty five minutes from
10:23
Speaker 1: wake up to driving some people take more than that.
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Speaker 1: This is an earlier start than elementary school for us
10:28
Speaker 1: here in Washington State, we still have a junior high model.
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Speaker 1: So this is going to be a seventh and eighth
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Speaker 1: graders in a specific building, and then nine through twelfth
10:35
Speaker 1: graders are on a different campus. Driving to school. School
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Speaker 1: starts at seven forty five, It ends at two forty five.
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Speaker 1: Practice starts at three point fifteen. Practice ends at five thirty.
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Speaker 1: He'll be back in our house right around six. That's dinner.
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Speaker 1: He will consume dinner. Let's put a short timeline on that,
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Speaker 1: real American six point thirty. He's gonna have to shower
10:56
Speaker 1: at this point, he's going to bathe himself. Get changed
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Speaker 1: now seven pm. If he has homework, homework is next priority.
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Speaker 1: But if he doesn't, he has four thirty minute time
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Speaker 1: slots where he can do something discretionary from seven pm
11:13
Speaker 1: to nine pm. This is when he can and I
11:15
Speaker 1: just want to run through a few things that either
11:17
Speaker 1: have to happen or he likes to do. So he
11:21
Speaker 1: can do chores. This is when launder gets done. Things
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Speaker 1: get put away. He's going to clean his room, fix
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Speaker 1: something he didn't you know that he left out or
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Speaker 1: broke previously. He's going to practice things that he needs
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Speaker 1: to practice, like his piano, which he's good at, he enjoys.
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Speaker 1: We want to make sure, but that's that's part of
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Speaker 1: these two hours. He's going to maybe read something for fun,
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Speaker 1: something not assigned for school, something he's passionate about. Play
11:43
Speaker 1: a board game he loves those, hang out with his siblings,
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Speaker 1: he loves them. Practice for a sport that isn't the
11:49
Speaker 1: sport he's in. So first sport of the year is
11:51
Speaker 1: going to be baseball here because our springs are so
11:53
Speaker 1: terrible they move junior high baseball to the fall. He's
11:56
Speaker 1: going to maybe practice golf or a different and sport
12:00
Speaker 1: that he's passionate about. Golf has just been top of
12:02
Speaker 1: the list recently. Here. He loves painting board game miniatures.
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Speaker 1: Maybe he's going to do that. Maybe he's going to
12:10
Speaker 1: make up a random game. He has these awesome little
12:11
Speaker 1: games that he just makes up with friends. Super cool.
12:14
Speaker 1: But he has four thirty minute chunks per day and
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Speaker 1: he is going to have to pick which one of
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Speaker 1: those you do. So as we think about scheduling sleep,
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Speaker 1: we are recognizing we're scheduling sleep because it's important, and
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Speaker 1: because there are other priorities and we want to make
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Speaker 1: sure that we have a finite amount of time and
12:27
Speaker 1: we use it well. The second thing, if we're prior
12:29
Speaker 1: excuse me for scheduling sleep, we are then going to
12:32
Speaker 1: minimize our screen time. Remember there are four thirty minute
12:34
Speaker 1: chunks of time, so he's going to probably want to
12:38
Speaker 1: watch a show at some point or engage technology somehow.
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Speaker 1: How are we going to manage that with our children?
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Speaker 1: It's really really simple. We are going to say no
12:45
Speaker 1: more than half of our discretionary time can go to tech,
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Speaker 1: and no more than two hours a day. And this
12:51
Speaker 1: is cumulative. So if they want to watch a show
12:52
Speaker 1: and play a game, you can go thirty minutes and
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Speaker 1: thirty minutes. But like we're done then, and this is
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Speaker 1: absolute maximum. I would strung encourage you to not do
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Speaker 1: an hour of your two free hours per day. I
13:03
Speaker 1: just don't think we can justify the amount of time
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Speaker 1: of putting fifty percent of our discretion era time towards
13:09
Speaker 1: that level of entertainment. So if you want to say, hey,
13:13
Speaker 1: every other day you can play an hour, okay, if
13:16
Speaker 1: you want to say that you can do thirty minutes
13:18
Speaker 1: each day, you can come home and watch your favorite show,
13:20
Speaker 1: or listen to music or do whatever. And by listening
13:23
Speaker 1: to music, I mean if you're putting in air pods
13:24
Speaker 1: and you're having independent music listening time, that is digital entertainment.
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Speaker 1: Like that is what you are doing. We have a
13:30
Speaker 1: record on while we're baking or something in the kitchen.
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Speaker 1: That's different, but that is independent time. That's you listening
13:35
Speaker 1: to your music, getting your vibe on. Like you have
13:37
Speaker 1: thirty minutes, Go nuts. Parents, This, by the way, is
13:40
Speaker 1: where a family hedge around your home network matters, because
13:44
Speaker 1: you actually need the ability to say you have thirty
13:47
Speaker 1: minutes and it's a timer. I'm not coming and remembering
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Speaker 1: to do this. I have a life, Like in thirty minutes,
13:52
Speaker 1: this app will either shut down or that internet will
13:54
Speaker 1: go away. So use your thirty minutes. You are operating
13:58
Speaker 1: within the responsibility you've earned. Im not saying give your
14:00
Speaker 1: child a smartphone to do this, but whatever tech you've
14:03
Speaker 1: given them, the tablet, the computer, the smartphone. Thirty minutes
14:06
Speaker 1: then it shuts off and they move to their next activity.
14:08
Speaker 1: So minimize screen time half of their time maximum and
14:14
Speaker 1: preferably less than that. You need to find a rhythm
14:16
Speaker 1: that works for your family and a conversation that goes
14:18
Speaker 1: with that. The easiest way to explain this is a reset. Say,
14:21
Speaker 1: we want you to have a diverse a lot of
14:24
Speaker 1: different ways to enjoy real life, and we want it
14:27
Speaker 1: to improve your relationships, emotions, sleep, enjoyment, and time. So
14:31
Speaker 1: I'm assuming if you're going to watch that show, or
14:34
Speaker 1: communicate on that social media platform, or listen to that
14:36
Speaker 1: music or play that game, that this is a net
14:39
Speaker 1: game for you, Like, yeah, it's fun. You seem to
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Speaker 1: enjoy it. Great. The best example I can think of
14:44
Speaker 1: out the top of my head, my son went to
14:45
Speaker 1: a friend's house, played a fun game with a friend,
14:48
Speaker 1: and it was part of their friendship, not the point
14:49
Speaker 1: of it. So they swam in the lake, they played
14:53
Speaker 1: a video game, and then they ran off and they
14:55
Speaker 1: played whiffleball in the backyard, and it was part of
14:58
Speaker 1: their friendship, not the point of their friendship. And in
15:01
Speaker 1: this case, they were playing the game together in real life,
15:03
Speaker 1: in real time. Sometimes they play baseball and football games,
15:07
Speaker 1: and sometimes they play silly side scrolling platform or action
15:11
Speaker 1: games like Okay, they're great. The content is fine, it's
15:15
Speaker 1: reasonably appropriate, and it's part of their friendship. They don't
15:18
Speaker 1: do it for the fullness of their time, and they
15:19
Speaker 1: don't do it. They don't hang out in order to
15:21
Speaker 1: play these games. So with that in mind, we're going
15:25
Speaker 1: to minimize screen time no more than two days sorry,
15:29
Speaker 1: no more than half your time. So I would say
15:32
Speaker 1: no more than an hour a day. And if you're
15:34
Speaker 1: going that maximum time, no more than two days a week,
15:37
Speaker 1: three days a week. We are going to find ways
15:38
Speaker 1: to enjoy real life. That is my encouragement to you.
15:43
Speaker 1: I expect you to have the conversation with your kids
15:45
Speaker 1: and have reset be a part of that. What are
15:48
Speaker 1: the limits that you are going to set for your
15:50
Speaker 1: family to make sure relationships and emotions and sleep and
15:53
Speaker 1: enjoyment and time remain healthy. Okay before I move on
15:56
Speaker 1: to number three, actually let's do an aside on Okay,
16:00
Speaker 1: but we're homeschool. I have found this to be a
16:02
Speaker 1: struggle for many of my beloved homeschool friends and for
16:07
Speaker 1: those that I visit when I go and do live workshops.
16:10
Speaker 1: Homeschool families finish their school works so much faster. So
16:13
Speaker 1: these kids their friends aren't out of school for another
16:15
Speaker 1: three to five hours, and they finish their school work,
16:19
Speaker 1: they did their online lessons, they finished their reading. What
16:22
Speaker 1: do we do now? Please please please hold to the
16:25
Speaker 1: no more than two hours a day of the screen
16:27
Speaker 1: time and no more than half of their free time.
16:31
Speaker 1: So if they have three hours maximum ninety minutes, they
16:34
Speaker 1: have to find something else to do with the rest
16:37
Speaker 1: of their time. And I would set certain days like
16:39
Speaker 1: Tuesdays and Thursdays. Those are your screen time. You can
16:42
Speaker 1: have half of that time up to a max of
16:44
Speaker 1: two hours. But other than that, we're going to find
16:46
Speaker 1: other things to do. You're going to build yourself some hobbies,
16:49
Speaker 1: You're going to accomplish some tasks. You're going to develop
16:51
Speaker 1: some life skills. Maybe those life skills are chopping wood
16:54
Speaker 1: and stacking it, mowing lawns, learning to weld. Maybe those
16:57
Speaker 1: life skills involve and reading and getting caught up on
17:03
Speaker 1: important like math. Things that you do know how to
17:05
Speaker 1: do this, but you're gonna advance it. You're gonna use
17:07
Speaker 1: con academy for fifteen to thirty minutes. Just as we
17:11
Speaker 1: think through this, we need to be deliberate with the
17:13
Speaker 1: entertainment tech side. And yes, I know at homeschool you
17:16
Speaker 1: have a lot more time, but That's also a beautiful
17:18
Speaker 1: thing about homeschool is you can develop in so many
17:20
Speaker 1: extra areas. Please do not waste that opportunity to build
17:24
Speaker 1: amazing skill sets because those skills do track into adult
17:29
Speaker 1: life and they do give you a leg up. And
17:30
Speaker 1: that's a super cool opportunity from the education format you've chosen.
17:34
Speaker 1: So use it. Do not simply say, well, we check
17:37
Speaker 1: the box of education today. So screens it is go nuts.
17:41
Speaker 1: I know it's asking a lot. I know it puts
17:43
Speaker 1: more pressure on you. And that is the platform that
17:47
Speaker 1: homeschooling gives us. It gives us a lot of opportunities
17:51
Speaker 1: to build hobbies and skills. So let's use it all right. Third,
17:54
Speaker 1: and finally, we're gonna pick three priorities. So I'm specifically
17:57
Speaker 1: talking to people that are doing a more traditional form
17:59
Speaker 1: of schooling in this format because I'm talking about those
18:01
Speaker 1: four to thirty minute chunks of time. But we must
18:04
Speaker 1: pick three priorities tops for our week. So I'm giving
18:09
Speaker 1: you four non negotiables. You may not negotiate family time.
18:13
Speaker 1: You must make deliberate time to be together as a family.
18:17
Speaker 1: Maybe that's a meal for breakfast or for dinner. Maybe
18:19
Speaker 1: that's a time you all have a family meeting where
18:22
Speaker 1: you can catch up on your day and discuss. Maybe
18:25
Speaker 1: it's not even every single day. We're going to do
18:26
Speaker 1: this on Mondays and Wednesdays, but you do need to
18:30
Speaker 1: make sure that family time is a priority, that it
18:32
Speaker 1: is scheduled into your calendar. You're going to make time
18:35
Speaker 1: for God, personal time for God, like I'm going to
18:36
Speaker 1: wake up at this time and put God first. Jesus
18:39
Speaker 1: did it in prayer deliberately. Even during busy seasons of ministry,
18:43
Speaker 1: when he was seeing people freed from the powers of
18:45
Speaker 1: hell and the flesh and brokenness of this world restored
18:50
Speaker 1: and made new, he still made time to get away
18:53
Speaker 1: from the crowds and away from his own disciples and
18:55
Speaker 1: be with this heavenly Father. We need to as well,
18:58
Speaker 1: and we do have to find a way to make
19:00
Speaker 1: at a family experience as well. Corporate worship at church
19:03
Speaker 1: is great. Corporate worship together is good. It is not
19:07
Speaker 1: something that I consistently do with my family. It is
19:09
Speaker 1: something I recognize the value of and I want to
19:12
Speaker 1: make sure I'm scheduling as we look at this year.
19:14
Speaker 1: I'm not simply saying, hey, we're crushing it. Keep doing it.
19:17
Speaker 1: I'm saying, man, this has to be a priority, because
19:19
Speaker 1: it will not happen on accident. Our family must be
19:23
Speaker 1: a non negotial priority. Our relationship with God and our
19:27
Speaker 1: family's relationship with God must be our school time. We're
19:31
Speaker 1: going to set that in our calendar and our sleep.
19:33
Speaker 1: We already talked about. We're going to schedule that that's
19:35
Speaker 1: going to be in there, nine hours a day, movie
19:37
Speaker 1: calendar around and make it work. What we can choose
19:39
Speaker 1: after that. These are just some options. This is not
19:41
Speaker 1: an exhaustive list, but here's examples I've seen in our
19:44
Speaker 1: family and I've seen in other families I've worked with
19:46
Speaker 1: over the last years. I've seen sports. These are organized,
19:49
Speaker 1: coach led things like basketball and baseball and lacrosse and swim.
19:53
Speaker 1: The arts, by this, I mean anything that renders reality
19:58
Speaker 1: and a medium or a mode for communication to others. Now,
20:02
Speaker 1: that could be writing, it could be reading. It could
20:04
Speaker 1: be drawing. It could be painting, it could be sculpting,
20:06
Speaker 1: it could be three D design. But this idea of
20:09
Speaker 1: like I'm taking an experience or an emotion or a story,
20:13
Speaker 1: and i am creating it so other people can see it,
20:16
Speaker 1: read it, experience it that's something we can choose to
20:20
Speaker 1: do with our free time. God's given us minds and
20:23
Speaker 1: brains that are built for relationship and are built to
20:26
Speaker 1: build stories. And we tell those stories in all different ways.
20:30
Speaker 1: So make some time for the arts, Like enjoy that
20:33
Speaker 1: experience it, carve it into a tree with a chainsaw, like,
20:36
Speaker 1: whatever your format is, it doesn't matter if it turns
20:39
Speaker 1: out well. The point is that you attempted it and
20:41
Speaker 1: that you had intent on that, and this is what
20:43
Speaker 1: separates you from the AI. So go out there and
20:46
Speaker 1: live it. Exercise, it's important, move your body. Skill development.
20:50
Speaker 1: This is where you might either be deficient or have
20:53
Speaker 1: a space where you can truly excel because God's gifted
20:55
Speaker 1: you in an area. So go out and practice that. Writing,
20:58
Speaker 1: that map, that welding, that mowing, the stuff you'll need
21:00
Speaker 1: in life, which I differentiate from hobbies. Hobbies are the
21:03
Speaker 1: things that are just sure fun and creative silliness, and
21:07
Speaker 1: they don't necessarily have an outcome like welding has an outcome.
21:12
Speaker 1: Hobbies are things that you're just like, I got a question,
21:15
Speaker 1: what would happen if? And you just want to go
21:16
Speaker 1: out and experiment and test it. And sometimes those hobbies
21:19
Speaker 1: have large categories, like fishing and running and swimming and
21:23
Speaker 1: sewing and like baking, and these are hobbies, but sometimes
21:27
Speaker 1: they're just more nuanced, like you have a hobby of
21:30
Speaker 1: just tinkering and making things and asking big questions and
21:33
Speaker 1: trying to figure out what happens. Like physics could be
21:36
Speaker 1: your hobby, like co nuts. The point is maybe that's
21:39
Speaker 1: something you want to prioritize in this season. So for me,
21:44
Speaker 1: exercise is a hobby. Cycling is a hobby. Aerosoft is
21:48
Speaker 1: a hobby where I've gotten in just like I wonder
21:50
Speaker 1: what would happen if and I'll just tinker. I'm not
21:53
Speaker 1: good at it. I'm not especially mechanical, but it has
21:56
Speaker 1: pushed me. And that then goes into like, oh, well,
21:58
Speaker 1: this thing's broken on my house, and like I fixed
22:00
Speaker 1: that one thing with airsoft, maybe I can. And it
22:03
Speaker 1: turns out that I can learn to install a French
22:06
Speaker 1: drain and then learn why that didn't need a French
22:08
Speaker 1: drain and I should do something else with it. And
22:11
Speaker 1: it requires a lot of questions and asking people that
22:13
Speaker 1: know stuff, and a lot of humility and a lot
22:15
Speaker 1: of making mistakes. Like these are hobbies. Let's go out
22:17
Speaker 1: there and learn stuff, make space for it. Friends, people
22:21
Speaker 1: who respect you, who prioritize you, in whom you know
22:23
Speaker 1: in real life, Let's make space for them. Those are options.
22:26
Speaker 1: And outdoors, let's walk, run, hike, swim. These are our options.
22:31
Speaker 1: So again, sports, arts, exercise, skill, skill development, hobbies, friends,
22:36
Speaker 1: and time in the outdoors. And maybe you're like, well,
22:38
Speaker 1: on this day, we're going to have one or two
22:40
Speaker 1: of these priorities, and there's going to be four priorities
22:42
Speaker 1: throughout the week. Okay, But if you picked three and
22:45
Speaker 1: then look at your free days, and then you add
22:47
Speaker 1: those two days where you get the screen time, you've
22:49
Speaker 1: got yourself a full week because you only had two
22:52
Speaker 1: hours a day of discretionary time. Elementary school kids you
22:56
Speaker 1: can cross into maybe three hours a day, but there's
23:01
Speaker 1: and homeschool kids you can end up with five hours
23:03
Speaker 1: a day of discretioning a time. But I would say
23:06
Speaker 1: picking three of these and delving deep in them and
23:09
Speaker 1: finding new ways to challenge yourself to make them work
23:12
Speaker 1: on a weekly basis is an excellent use of our
23:15
Speaker 1: back to school time. Because we're scheduling our sleep, we're
23:18
Speaker 1: minimizing our screen time using it deliberately having fun with it,
23:22
Speaker 1: but not allowing it to become the line's share of
23:24
Speaker 1: our time, so that we just are doing it because
23:27
Speaker 1: we've been used to doing it. Well, this is just
23:29
Speaker 1: what we do. In the evenings. We sit down and
23:30
Speaker 1: watch a show, which show I won't know until I
23:33
Speaker 1: open it, and it tells me something to watch like
23:36
Speaker 1: that should cause us pause because we're no longer being
23:39
Speaker 1: deliberate with our time, and we're saying, well, I need
23:42
Speaker 1: this to unload, to decompress from my day, but I'm
23:46
Speaker 1: not actually maybe coming back better from it because I'm
23:48
Speaker 1: not doing it purposely, which leads me to potentially binge watching,
23:52
Speaker 1: not because I love it or have said this is good,
23:55
Speaker 1: but just because it's there and I don't feel better yet,
23:57
Speaker 1: so I'm going to keep going. And it starts to
23:59
Speaker 1: feel a lot more like when we consume cookies to
24:03
Speaker 1: feel better or any other substance, and we're just using
24:06
Speaker 1: it to kind of numb the pain. That's what we
24:09
Speaker 1: want to be diligent against, and having priorities means yes,
24:12
Speaker 1: I can go to my tech, I can watch my show,
24:15
Speaker 1: listen to my music, play my game, communicate over that platform,
24:18
Speaker 1: and I can check my heart at the same time,
24:20
Speaker 1: I can make sure I'm doing this as a net positive,
24:23
Speaker 1: not as simply a distraction or point of exhaustion. And
24:26
Speaker 1: if i am, I'm not going to shame myself. I'm
24:28
Speaker 1: not shaming you. If we are using our technology in
24:31
Speaker 1: healthy ways, we're just recognizing that going ah, this is
24:34
Speaker 1: not something I want to make more permanent this year,
24:36
Speaker 1: Beginning the school year is an excellent time for us
24:39
Speaker 1: to minimize our screen time. I hope that this was
24:41
Speaker 1: an encouragement to you and that you can hear my
24:43
Speaker 1: heart behind this as we can be deliberate as we
24:46
Speaker 1: begin the school year, starting by scheduling our sleep. If
24:48
Speaker 1: you only do one thing this week, look at your
24:50
Speaker 1: calendar for the next week and say, how are we
24:53
Speaker 1: going to make sure our kids get nine hours to
24:54
Speaker 1: sleep a night. Why is it different for adults Because
24:57
Speaker 1: adults aren't developing anymore. We've got hardened hardware and those
25:01
Speaker 1: paths are set and we can still pivot. But we
25:03
Speaker 1: can also pivot, meaning we can change our behaviors that
25:06
Speaker 1: are unhealthy and we can learn new unhealthy ones if
25:09
Speaker 1: we're not careful, but it's not affecting the way, say
25:12
Speaker 1: the white matter in our brain develops with the axiom
25:15
Speaker 1: network that connects the gray matter is getting made more
25:19
Speaker 1: robust or getting pruned drastically because it's overstimulated and undernourished.
25:24
Speaker 1: So let's give our brains, Let's give our bodies. Let's
25:27
Speaker 1: give our emotional health the rest that it needs with
25:30
Speaker 1: nine hours of sleep at night. For our children, let's
25:33
Speaker 1: model for them healthy use of tech by getting out
25:36
Speaker 1: of our bedrooms, the screens, the video games, one thousand dollars,
25:39
Speaker 1: alarm clocks, and we can pick those priorities each week.
25:42
Speaker 1: Let's just pick three. Let's go with We're gonna pick three.
25:46
Speaker 1: We're gonna choose these three for this week. If it
25:48
Speaker 1: works well, we'll do them again next week. If we
25:50
Speaker 1: want to try something new, we'll alternate. It stops us
25:52
Speaker 1: from over committing and using more time than we actually have,
25:55
Speaker 1: and it stops us from just staring at a wall
25:57
Speaker 1: and waiting for paint to drying. And minimizing our tech
26:01
Speaker 1: and put in this proper place doesn't have to be punishment.
26:03
Speaker 1: It can actually be a celebration because we get to
26:06
Speaker 1: use the tech and we get to have joy at
26:08
Speaker 1: the pace of real life. So I hope this is
26:10
Speaker 1: encouraging and helpful. If it was, share it with someone,
26:13
Speaker 1: talk about it with your family. How are we going
26:15
Speaker 1: to schedule this sleep for this week? And if we
26:17
Speaker 1: can't this week because life is too busy, what are
26:19
Speaker 1: we going to do next week that's going to make
26:21
Speaker 1: it so that we can actually get our children the
26:23
Speaker 1: proper amount of sleep. Let's make that up priorities we
26:25
Speaker 1: head into the school year. If you have any questions
26:27
Speaker 1: for me, you can reach out Nathan at Gospel tech
26:29
Speaker 1: dot net or you can find us on Instagram, Facebook,
26:32
Speaker 1: and YouTube that love God, use Tech and you can
26:34
Speaker 1: join us next week as we continue this conversation about
26:36
Speaker 1: how we can love God and use tech. I'll talk
26:38
Speaker 1: with you then