Latest / Steve Azar's Resonance: A Podcast for Leaders, Unpacking the Power of Song, Silence and Strategy / Resonance Season 3-The Voices We'd Like To Hear

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Resonance Season 3-The Voices We'd Like To Hear · Steve Azar's Resonance: A Podcast for Leaders, Unpacking the Power of Song, Silence and Strategy

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: This is Resident, the podcast with leaders that unpacks the power of song, silence, and strategy.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: We believe the great leadership begins with deep listening, not just to others, but to the still small voice within.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just about being a successful leader, it's about being soulfully aligned as well.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: In a world moving fast, resonance invites you to pause and reconnect with purpose, people, and possibilities.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_02: We'll dive into some cool stories, celebrate with friends, and dig deep into the music too.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_02: Cause song has a way of saying what words cannot alone.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: So whether you're leading a business, a team, or just trying to lead your own life with more meaning, this is Resonance.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Resonance, resonance.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everybody, welcome back to Resonance the Podcast.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: It has been a minute since we've uh been in the studio here, so I'm back here with Steve Azar and Randy Harrington, my compadres, otherwise known as Gilligan and the Professor.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Mike Sharell, the skipper, and we're uh back in the boat and uh ready to go here.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: So uh today we're gonna kick off a brand new episode, and uh it's interesting.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: I had an opportunity to be at the uh Teddy Roosevelt Presidential Library a few weeks ago, and it just opened.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's way out in Madora, North Dakota.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you can't get there from here, but uh it's a beautiful place out in the bad lands of North Dakota.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_01: And they have a feature in the museum there where you can actually have a conversation with an AI version of Teddy Roosevelt.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_01: And so you can walk up and ask a question into the microphone, and and Teddy's on the screen in front of you standing behind his desk, and a very realistic image of him, and you ask him the question.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: So I I posed the question to him.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: I said, What would you have done differently in your last presidential campaign since you lost?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: And he kind of hemmed and awed a little bit, and he said, Hmm, good question.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, Well, he said, I was known to carry a big stick, and I took out most of my enemies with that big stick, but I also took out a lot of allies.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: And he said, I probably would have kept more friends closer to me.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, well, that's a pretty interesting, interesting answer.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: So I got the got the idea that maybe we ought to do a podcast and talk a little bit about some of the voices from our past, some of the influences that we'd love to have an AI conversation with today, and uh talk a little bit about that and see uh, you know, what do you guys think?
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I'll kick it over to either one of you.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: Who wants to jump in?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Let's see.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'll tell one quick story that that uh that's come up for me recently.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Uh so uh I I I did uh go to school in Oxford, Mississippi at Ole Miss.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Hottie Toddy.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: Toddy, yeah.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so uh Ole Miss is a very interesting town.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was there in the late 70s, early eighties, and it was a tiny, tiny town back then.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I was uh on a on a good scholarship there, but I still needed to make some money.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And so I worked as a uh DJ eventually for a country radio station there in town, and uh that was a lot of fun.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_02: But before that, I delivered I did not know we I'm interrupting you.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_02: I did not know this, but go ahead.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, I shouldn't know I should have known this about you, Randy, but go ahead.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: Go ahead.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm learning.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: You RFM Oxford, yes.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: My name was David Summers on the radio.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: That was my goodness.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, but before that I delivered pizzas and uh I for Pizza Hut, and that Pizza Hut I think is still there.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And uh so I was just looking to make some summer money or whatever it was, and uh I go and I start delivering pizzas.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, it's an interesting gig because I I I think I was pretty much the only white guy on the crew, but we all got along great.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: It was all just fine.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I was doing great until they asked me to start delivering pizzas.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would go and get in the car to deliver the pizzas, and I don't have a great sense of direction.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know my way around Oxford particularly well.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't have GPS.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: And so I I would uh if if it was it was a double whammy because if I had to deliver to some house, I could never find the house.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then if I had to deliver to like, I don't know, a sorority house or to a fraternity house or to some other party, that was a pro.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: So I would go show up at one of these places with the pizza, and then they'd be come on in, you know, we don't know who ordered it, and uh, we've got this thing and we don't know what to do.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'd wait and wait and wait, and I would admit, you know, I didn't rush back.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'll go ahead and say that.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I also wasn't particularly concerned about making change or dealing with the money.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, it was all just a thing.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would come back and my bag would never balance, and you know, it would take me 90 minutes to deliver two pizzas, and it was just never a good thing.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: So this goes on for about a week.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, I finished washing some dishes one night, and the boss, I do not remember his name, but this is the guy that I want to talk to again, really badly.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: He was a former military guy and had a big old mustache, uh, you know, like uh like like uh the old, you know, what was it, mod squad kind of look about him, you know.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: He was big square shoulders and he was just a big guy.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And as I'm finishing my shift, he says, Randy, I'd like to speak with you for a minute.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Sure.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we sit down and he looked at me and I felt the whole room change.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: He just stares at me.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway, he's just staring at me.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: He's just staring at me, and then he says, Randy, I'm gonna tell you I am pretty sure that one of these days you're gonna be good at something.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: But but this ain't it.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you didn't need to be good at that.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_02: The crazy thing is, while you were telling that story, I just got I saw a little I got a uh a notice on my phone from Pizza Hut.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_02: That I've got uh that I I have earned uh a couple free pizzas.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: That is fantastic.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm delivering those pizzas to you.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: That's my we all love to make our own homemade pizza, we know that.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: And we do that, but and all my friends go, how can you how can you settle when you're starting to make you're making your own with fresh all these ingredients, you know?
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_02: I said, I still love Pizza Hut.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: I do too.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_02: Meat lovers for me.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: Meat lovers for me.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_02: Give it to me.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: Anyway, anyway, so shout out to Pizza Hut for all the years of love they've given me.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: No doubt about it.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: And and in so even as I'm being fired by this guy, yeah, I had two profound emotions.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: The first one was relief.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like, thank you, God.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is just not work.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: I knew it wasn't working well, and and it just wasn't going well.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: So then and then the second one was actual compassion and and almost love for the man because he was as gentle but as direct as he could possibly be.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: He was being honest with me when he said, I know you're gonna be good at something, but this isn't it.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember giving him a big hug.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: I remember stopping in to see him on a regular basis after after I left.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I really feel like that moment is when a life my life changed in a way that says, Yeah, I I'm not good at this.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: I am good at these other things, and I should focus on that.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway, I I wish I knew where he was.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: I wish him the very best.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And wow, that was a long, long, long, long time ago.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: But and one little conversation, I'm sure it never mattered much to him, but I've thought about it many, many times.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_02: In that it's crazy.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_02: The ones that stick with you.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's interesting, the ones I I love hearing that.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_02: And as always, you're a trooper.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and you and by the way, it was probably in your path to to not be doing that in case you ended up owning a bunch of pizza huts down the line.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_02: But which it would have been I would have been happy about.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_02: But you know.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_02: But so for me, you know, I obviously had Lil Milton used to call me Little Lazar, Eugene Powell, the first time I ever got inspired.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: I those like those those guys to me are I almost feel like but but I was able to get that in life, you know.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: And I and hopefully one day uh when we meet again, it'll be it'll be better, even better than it was.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_02: Uh and we'll have more to say and more to hopefully talk about all the be all the beautiful parts of what we do rather than anything negative, if you if if if hopefully that's what it's gonna be like, you know.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: So I think about them, I think about my my co-writers in life.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: Uh there's a guy named AJ Masters who I was with at least once or twice a week.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_02: Uh he went on the road with me in my first attempt after moving to Nashville.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_02: I had plenty of attempts before that, but uh after having my first really bad record deal, and he was my bass player on the road, and you know, somebody, some girl out there would lift their top up and he'd hit a clank note every time.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: And I go, you can't hit a clanker note.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_02: You gotta you gotta stay you gotta focus.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: He goes, I can't help it.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: And so anyway, but seriously, I think about those guys because we were writing these songs and trying to have something significant, right?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_02: Something that would move people.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_02: And we were getting moved plenty by it.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_02: But then you gotta go through the whole process of hoping it something that moves you ever gets out there, you know?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: And that was during a period where I didn't have the hits yet and I didn't have the success I needed for long term, and long term meaning nationally or and and and other countries and all that.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_02: So I was, you know, obviously needing that and getting just past the southeast and a little bit of the southwest.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_02: I needed, you know, bigger, I needed hits.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_02: But that journey and those voices that I got to hear every day, Albanetta, I'll never forget, he was partners with John Prime and Old Boy Records and managed him forever, forever.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_02: I was so moved every time I sat with him.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_02: And he always sorry, he always gave me the time.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm talking about when he didn't have time.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_02: And you knew he was busy.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: And it never, ever, ever felt rushed.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_02: Ever.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_02: And uh he was really good to me.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_02: He helped me down the line, uh, you know, foremone record label, told me a lot of things I needed to be doing and not doing, especially what not to be doing and what not to chase and all this.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_02: And he'd get a call get a call every once in a while from him, and he'd be saying, I'm so proud of you.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_02: And da da da da da, you know, I was and it was so moving because I was a fan of his, not just John Primes, and you love that man, and you're just so in awe of everything they stand for, but how they were doing it on their own, uh their own terms, their own way.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_02: And uh and as I started to understand and start doing it on my end and and get the respect to him to see that we weren't relying on some big machine, uh, that was the coolest thing.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: But those voices, I mean, there's so many guys.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_02: And then one of my teachers, Miss McGall, she taught at St.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: Joe for a thousand I'm talking about a thousand years.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, like I didn't could have been.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: And we lost her not too long ago.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_02: She taught, not only did she teach my aunt, my mom's sister, she taught me, my siblings, she taught all my kids when we moved back.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_02: And they called her Mama McGall, but I always felt like she was my mama McGall, not anybody else's, but that's how she made everybody feel.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_02: But she really gravitated toward my talent.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_02: She really said, No, you're doing this.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, she was like adamant and pushed me forward rather than pulling me back.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_02: Because I had plenty of those that did that, that tried to do that, but thank goodness I used that as a a chip on my shoulder rather than an actual moment to to let that define me, you know?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_02: And those voices, too, guys, have been pivotal in in my life.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_02: The ones that were trying that felt like they were so negative and negative forces in your in your progress and didn't care at all about your success.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_02: There was something about those voices that I'm grateful for.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm grateful that they that they put me in that athletic position to want to compete with them.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_02: You know, like, no way.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: No, no.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: And even when they hurt me as bad as they could hurt me emotionally, right?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_02: And even when I'd lay there for a while, I'd get up and I'd hear those voices and I'd go, oh no, no, no, no.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: That's not how it's gonna be.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_02: So those voices were pivotal as well.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_00: And there's often these little conversations, right?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's often not a big dramatic thing.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's uh it's a little side note or you know, just uh a second or a minute, and it'll just kind of hang there with you for a very, very long time.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: Well you you think you think about voices, you know, I've gotten to know Morgan Freeman over my time now since 2001, and you you're talking about voices, you know.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_02: That's a that that we're fortunate enough to still hear.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_02: And uh it's just amazing.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you see the side J James Earl Jones.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_02: You think about voices that are so dynamic and so unique, like Morgan's that change the that just are transcend time and place and movies, and they're bigger than you know, Morgan's bigger than any movie he's ever played in.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_02: It's not Morgan Freeman playing a role, it's the role being lucky enough to have Morgan Freeman be called that, you know?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: But but but I do love the fact that, you know, there was one man named David Conrad, and you talk about the little things, right?
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_02: So I had finally had hits, but 10 years before I walked in his office, I'd gotten a meeting, and the all he said to me was, I don't care what you look like, I don't care what you sound like, how'd you get in my whatever office?
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: And I got kicked out, right?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_02: And so flat fast for fast fast forward 12 years, I've just had two hits, and he becomes the AR guy at my label with that I'm at.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: And and I know the head guy, you know, I'm well documented, the head guy, you know, we had in jail.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: I think he bro I think he brought him in personally just to get rid of me.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_02: And and that's what I was thinking, right?
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_02: Well, he must he must know about that meeting 12 years ago that lasted all of all of 60 seconds.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_02: And so David kept trying to get through my manager, trying to get through my agent, trying to get to me, and I just wouldn't respond.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_02: I was on the road, we were working, and I was tired, and I go, I'm not giving that man the time the way he treated me.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so he shows up in New Orleans, we were playing at the House of Blues, and I was saying he walks on the bus and he goes, Either I'm gonna, if you're not gonna come to me, I'm coming to you.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: And either you're gonna be on this label or you're not gonna be on this label, but I don't understand why you're ignoring me.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_02: And I said, You don't remember?
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: And he goes, What?
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_02: And I told him the story.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_02: He goes, Steve, I don't remember that.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_02: That never happened.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_02: I have no idea what you're talking about, and I'm so sorry.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so we were writing a song on the bus, which happened to be Blues Tune.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's been on a couple of my records.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_02: And we go in, and instead of me probably trying to impress him, I decide I'm gonna work on the song with the band, and that was Soundcheck.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_02: And he goes, Is that the song I heard you writing here?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_02: He goes, That's what you're I go, well, yeah.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_02: And he goes, I go, I love to mess with things that soundcheck.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_02: And so he looked at me.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_02: Now listen, he was in Mark Knoppler's world, or actually Mark Knoppler, you know, the it and Chet Atkins.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: So that's his world, right?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_02: And he mentored more big songwriters.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: It was crazy the talent pool that he was in.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, I knew that about him, but I also felt like that he didn't that he didn't want to have anything to do with me.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_02: When we left there that night, he walks to the back of the bus, he goes, You've been doing this your whole life.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_02: He goes, I'm all in.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_02: And do you know, I was recording all my own stuff in my house at this point and and and sort of writing like I was on a roll.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_02: And I and he goes, I want everything.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I'd send him stuff at three in the morning and I'd get an email back.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_02: I'll call you tomorrow.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_02: He'd wake up to listen.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_02: This is not, this is I mean, he was so he became a huge mentor of mine.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_02: We were about to take everything by storm, and then he got fired.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_02: But I he's a guy that I never expected to want to hear his voice ever again.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: And all of a sudden I'm going like that.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_02: And I've had him and his wife, she was a big publisher on my radio show as well.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: I invited them to Delta Soul.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_02: Something didn't work out, but it reminded me now maybe I need to reinvite him.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_02: But one of those guys you never expected that would actually mean something really substantial in your life in some weird way, even though we really never worked together.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_02: We we weren't it never happened.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_02: Wow.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yep, yep.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: It was interesting.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, it's interesting as as you think back to those voices.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the most natural one for me is my dad.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: Uh and he's been gone now for what, 17 years, I guess.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: So you know, it it's funny because he and I were a little bit like oil and water as I was growing up, because uh he didn't exactly prefer the uh career course I took when I decided to go play golf for a living, even though he was a golfer.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: And uh but a few years later, after I was out of the seminary and started my business and that kind of thing, then it it became kind of a I'd pick his brain, because he'd be he would he'd had his own business for many, many years, and and I'd pick his brain as far as you know, well, what would you do here?
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think about that, or you know, that kind of thing.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: And uh and it was funny, as time went on over the years, uh eventually uh at one point my partner and I bought his agency so he could kind of start slowing down.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: And then toward the end, uh he actually worked for me and uh was actually going out and having conversations with people that were interested in hiring me for coaching and consulting and that kind of thing.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: He was kind of my bird, he was kind of my bird dog.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: And he could talk to anybody.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: And uh but you know, I think back about that, and I think, you know, of all the things that have happened in these last 17 years, it would have been really cool to be able to have conversations about everything that was going on in my life and my work, all of those kinds of things.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: I think that that would have been a that would have been a natural voice that I'd love to go back and have that AI conversation with and and you know, ask him his thoughts and his ideas and that kind of thing.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: I think, you know, I think the other thing, I had a I had a dear friend, his name was Bob Fain, and Bob and I just had met, you know, a few years ago and became really close friends.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: And and unfortunately, we lost Bob to cancer a few years ago.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: And uh Bob and I when I moved back to South Dakota, there weren't a lot of places to drink wine, and as you guys both know, I kind of like drinking wine, and uh uh as did he, and we both liked good wine.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so we'd make it a habit of once a week we'd go someplace and find a good bottle of wine and you know have our have our wine sessions, and even even up to the very end when we knew it was the time was short, the last time we got together was for a wine session.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: And uh and you know, it's funny because I had had met my wife Ann while I was, you know, had this friendship with Bob going, and I remember sitting there telling him about Ann and her family, and you know, at that point, just one grandchild, you know, and he looked at me and he says, Man, you better not screw this one up.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_02: Nice, yeah.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: Love it.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you better not.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: Wisdom.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I have that I have that little voice in my head all the time.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, don't screw this up.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_01: But uh I you know, I think those are some of the voices I as I look back, you know, further back in the years, you know, there was there was a priest in the that I had in the seminary that was a spiritual director, and he was he was an incredibly wise, wise person.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I always, you know, anytime things were something was going on and I wasn't quite sure what what I was wanting to do and that kind of thing, I could go sit down and have a conversation with him.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: And and I think, you know, he would have been he would have been really excited to see where I'm at today using the Benedictine principles and all of those kinds of things in my work because I think he saw that in me long before I ever saw that in me, you know.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think that's you know, that's pretty cool.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I I think, you know, as as we all look back at those voices in the past, even like with your pizza guy, Randy.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, these people saw things in us that we probably didn't see or at that point didn't recognize.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's so important as we think about those voices from the past.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_01: I guess the you know, the the question that I would throw out is what these voices that we've we've had in our past, what did we learn?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, oh that's the ticket, right, Randy?
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I and I think you know, we're of the we're of the age now where we should be those voices for other people, right?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: We and I'm very conscious of that.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: I've been doing this coaching thing, which I resisted for years.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why exactly, but it just didn't feel right to me.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_00: And now I feel like I have a very small cadre of young rising leaders, not many of them, but I I cherish those hour and hour and a half sessions.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I don't know exactly how to describe it, but I feel a weight of responsibility, of it's almost like don't screw this up too.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: We could we could just have a conversation like, oh yeah, that sounds good.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think you're doing great, and why don't you try think about this or think about that?
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: We could do it all superficial like that, but I really feel like, you know, that's that would be a waste of this almost sacred opportunity.
• 21:18
  SPEAKER_00: And this is one of the things that I've always appreciated about Catholicism is the uh the idea that you can sit and talk to another human at that level where there's so much trust, profound cosmological trust.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's something you don't get in any other human institution, to my knowledge.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and and I know that my coaching sessions are not a confessional.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: I I get that, and I don't want them to be.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, I do try to appreciate the gravity that that can be there when when you are conscious of how what you said affects them.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: And and again, it could be those tiny things that are.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: said that can make that person feel less than or you know overinflated or whatever.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: I just had a I just had a session not too long ago and and you know we were talking about some of the things that were going on and and and I paused and and I looked at my client and I said, so what do you think God's teaching you from all this?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: And there was a long pause and it was that's a really good question.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't I haven't really thought of it that way.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know and to be able to do that with clients, with you know with the people that I get to coach, you know, I'm certainly you know I mean I've been through spiritual direction, I've done the spiritual exercises of St.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: Ignatius, all of those kinds of things, but I'm not a spiritual director.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: But I can pull some of what I've learned over the years from some of the great spiritual directors that I've had and infuse those into the conversation about what it is that leader is trying to do in the environment that they're in.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's that's a really cool thing to be able to do.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the things that keeps me going and keeps me doing what I wanted what I'm doing because I absolutely love it.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: I love doing that and and being able to resonate with you know the people that I coach.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know y'all got me thinking there there the voices that you do hear that that I tell these stories over and over because they're memories that were so uh sort of embarrassing but funny.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_02: And they're you know the the the longer you live the funnier they are because you get to talk about it.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_02: But I have the my Pizza Hut story.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_02: I have a couple of them but one is I was in organic chemistry class and I decided I was going to be a pre-med major at Delta State.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_02: And so gonna ask as you know I had the band but band was getting going was playing da da doing my thing intramurals was like are my life and da da da and I was a pre-med major and so I decided uh so you know I'm in or an organic class and the professor Dr.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_02: Steen who I've got to know over the years after that but I didn't know him I just knew about him.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_02: You knew you were about to go into organic class with Dr.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_02: Steen and it wasn't going to be pleasant.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_02: It was going to be tough and he goes Azar, Azar was getting to know the class are you kin at all to Freddie Azar?
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: And I went yes sir he's my older brother and so Freddie went to Notre Dame and then he was taking some refresher courses before he got into med school.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_02: Now you got to realize Freddie goes off to Tulane med school and he ends up president of the school graduating like one of the highest honors in history becomes chief of staff for a thousand years at Campbell's clinic was Jordan's doctor with Dr.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_02: Andrews he's uh the he's one of the great he's been the Grizzlies orthopedic doctor for 22 years NBA all this stuff he's you know he he was president of the Orthopedic Association of America I mean and now he's he's been chairman of the board of AlSAC which governs St.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_02: Jude so let's just talk that's the doctor and the and he dreamed about it his whole life standard is is a little bit high standard is so he was refreshing courses right to keep his mind sharp.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: Now who does that first of all and then so and I go yes sir and he goes it's an honor to have you in my class best student I've ever taught in my life and I went Lord so after the first test he was tapping really put the test down things tapping really hard and in front of everybody says I see you're nothing like your brother but he you know what he said but you know what he said after but I've seen you play music and I think that's real.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_02: You know so he followed it up with I'm gonna beat you down but I'm also gonna let you know that is what and so all the years you felt because you've been so after after the years when I started having hits and I came back home to play at Delta State in the big B Pack Bologna Performing Arts Center, there he was and he goes pointing at me I told you and I went you better believe it because I wouldn't have been a good doctor anyway that was one of the stories that I remember and it's a voice that I will always remember and also it let me start to think about what am I doing?
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah why am I why did I choose that?
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yes because I don't have a desire to do that.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yes yeah I want to do this.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: So anyway this is something that I you know when I talk to young people now you know for me that's anybody under 35 I they are they're clueless about they they really don't have that that vision to hang on to they don't know what they want to do.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: They don't they they really can't see the optionality that's in front of them.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_02: There's no clear paths that make any sense to them right now and it's it's it's a very interesting time for young folks for precisely I don't I don't I it's very interesting you're saying that but I think about the times all our kids were on the couch and they were with their friends and they were texting each other while they were together on the couch.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like guys why don't y'all talk and go oh we're we're communicating I said uh I don't know about I don't know if you can call that communicating you know right so but it's interesting how they have have done things also cliff notes in our day was the only way that you could cut a corner before I'd read a book and at least it and it was longer it took you longer than 30 seconds or 15 seconds or a minute right it took a while to read the cliff notes.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_02: So now and I know you guys are looking at me going like I know Steve you were awful at Cliff Notes as well and you two rip out all the books we've both read.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_02: And anyway but the only cliff notes you were good at were the ones in the musical exactly I was very good at that.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_02: All right but but let me just say that I think that they are so they want everything quick.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_02: And I think if something doesn't happen quick, how do you spend all this time working towards something when you want these 15 20 30 seconds you're here I love that.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_02: I boom boom boom they want splashes and I don't know if all those splashes can add up to be a career that you're passionate about.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_02: Now now our daughter who's a chef she has to go the way we grew up doing it.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_02: You guys know y'all love to cook and she's got new recipes on the menu at this Ingus bar where she's at restaurant and uh like Killian Murphy comes there and eats you know actor and really great she's got some some famous people that come in there.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_02: And she you know we talked about her having Michelin star she had some stuff on their menu at the musket room but now she's really getting to step it up she she showed me her new menu a new doing a whole new menu but she had a butternut squash dish the other day that that launched and so that's her job as Sushap is part, you know, creating new dishes and all that but she's had to do it like me.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_02: There was no quick route there.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_02: There is no quick route that way I mean all the studying and the Spain and the gastronomy and the and the teaching kids when she was in high school that was her gig and I mean it's always been about food food food food food and the culinary school and all that.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_02: She's had a sense of orientation there's no the exact the many senses of orientation and many internships and many externships she's she doesn't have a choice because you're dealing with the culinary arts and there's just no easy way there.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_02: So you you know you know it takes as long as it takes to make a meal and finally get good at creating recipes and seeing and fail you fail.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_02: You have to fail so much in the kitchen to ever come up with real recipes that are your own there's no way you're just gonna oh I I'm a magically you know it's like writing the greatest songs in the world the first time you do it, you know?
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_02: So she has to go the long route.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_02: That's a profession.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_02: But what about but she's also got a crazy passion for it.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_02: So what about the you're looking at a whole generation of people that are the kids that just don't know what they want to do, I think.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: So super quick but I've been fascinated with this phrase that shows up in some of the philosophical stuff that I'm reading.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: And it it's when you're dealing with points of philosophy that are literally indescribable for whatever reason.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: Just by definition you can't talk about it.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: Then the the people who do talk about it they use a phrase called pointing out I'm not going to tell you I can't tell you what it is but I can point where I can give you a sense of directionality.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: I can just sort of go, it's it's not that for sure, but you might look this way.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I I I I've been fascinated by this because I think that we're moving into an age of complexity where we don't know what we don't know.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so I don't feel comfortable being that mentor saying by God you need to go do this and you need to do this right now.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: Very rare I guess I have done it occasionally but but most of the time now I find myself kind of nudging people into a like you have a proclivity for understanding data sets or I love that nudging is a great word.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah just kind of bolstering pushing reinforcing whatever that word is to just say yeah that feels right with you you know and to give that sort of reflected appraisal of I love that that's a good thing.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you think about those conversations that were meaningful to you there's a good chance it's because it illuminated something about who you are as a person.
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_00: That conversation was this is really who you are yeah you're not a pizza delivery guy.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: You are something else.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah you know it's and it's interesting I th I think to the to the this AI version of Teddy Roosevelt and I think it speaks a lot to kind of what you're talking about Steve you know kind you know your friend your your kids thinking conversation is texting each other in this age of AI you know I think you know so I go and ask Teddy Roosevelt a question and I get a you know 30 second response and that's supposed to be good enough.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah and and of course in the Benedictine tradition it's it's about kind of cooking in the stew for a while you know it's about it's about having a conversation and listening to somebody and that kind of thing.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: This AI thing where it gives us this quick hit this quick answer this quick whatever it is we don't get to stew.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: We don't get to really sit and and and marinate in what it is we're listening to and what and we think back to the people Steve I know your stories about Bud and you know all of those conversations you got to stew in those conversations we got to we got to immerse ourselves in those conversations.
• 32:27
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't there he is right there you know it wasn't just this quick quick hit there's your answer move on you know I and I think that's what's so important that you know as a leader today I think because of the way the world is around us you have a tendency to give that quick hit answer and move on.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's so important that we stew in a conversation that we let the pot simmer for a while and we let that conversation happen versus just this bang, here's your answer let's move on.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_02: Well you know you talk about H.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_02: Bud talking about the great Harry Bud Nelson incredible radio legend.
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_02: I ran my record label we've talked about him I I I just can't explain to you like in my in the morning he's one of the first thoughts that come to my he's one of the first prayer and thought that comes to my head because he was years ago he when I was struggling he was saying Steve Azar I need you to make your music and I used to go what are you talking about?
• 33:26
  SPEAKER_02: I need you to make your music when I was waiting on Joe he goes congratulations now you know how to make your music there it is there it is he was right he was right and so I it from then on I could never let him down with that because he was going like you know I was right and doing stuff but but it was it was so important for him to say that and he was a guy that you couldn't get on the phone with or couldn't have a conversation with unl unless it went for an hour or two hours.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_02: I mean and so that's what we're dealing with and and you felt like that conversation was one minute when you were done because you enjoyed it you were you were enthralled deep into whatever he was saying.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_02: He is one of the voices I can't wait to hear again I can't wait to hug him I can't wait to to just I mean he was that great of a man to me and I feel like he got sick on my watch.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_02: I mean we were working the song Sunshine and it was testing number one in the land in country radio but there were radio consultants there were some that refused to play it because even though their job as a consultant we've talked about this is to do what the stats say they were looking at me going like well you haven't had a hit since 2003 like a big hit and now why are we supposed to let you all of a sudden have a big hit again that was their thought process.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_02: And so and I was going like you're a consultant but I feel like it it it really took a toll on Harry and he ended up getting really sick and he survived the sickness and then he then eventually it got him you know eight ten years later but I I feel like I I owe him something you know like you were fighting for me and he's gonna say I was fighting for what was right and I was fighting because that's what I do.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I know that about him and he loved me you know but you think about the sacrifices people have made in your life for you and for for that and and I'm telling you he sacrificed it.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_02: And it it hurts to think about that.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_02: And I can't wait to uh I can't wait to hug him.
• 35:23
  SPEAKER_02: But I I can wait.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_02: I want to wait when my time's coming but I want him to be I want to be front and center when I show up you know he he may have to pull me up a little bit.
• 35:32
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm talking about I may have to have a little help but I'm hoping that I'm hoping guys got a really good sense of humor and that H Bud has got a really good long rope that's all events.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: No that feeling of that feeling of guilt is real though.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean it's it's you know because you you do those those conversations create emotional connections when you're stewing in it the way Mike's talking about it's more than just content it ends up being about relationship and that that goes well beyond this.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_00: For me my guy is Ty Warren uh thank God he's still alive he's been battling cancer for a long time.
• 36:09
  SPEAKER_00: But anyway I treasure my conversations with him because I know it's limited and and uh I I am going to say this our our kids I can tell you are very conversational now all of them.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_02: Cecilia's always been that Cecilia would say I'm going to find a friend like in the middle of nowhere okay all right we're gonna go find a friend.
• 36:28
  SPEAKER_02: And so so that's her you know but Strike's gotten really really conversational and boys are thinking a little different because they sort of feel like you know but and Adrian as he's found his wings as a doctor and really starting to sink in the more that you're around him the more is he talks about all of that and he's interested and he wants you to be interested because he's you know we're going like I don't know what you're talking about.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_02: I sort of know what you're talking about.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_02: But but you know what's been the key to their progress as far as communicating the kitchen.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_02: They all love to cook they all watch cook and I'm telling you cooking is one of the great and we the three of us know this it's uh one of the most important communicators it is a conveyor of everything communication and building relationships and building stories and while you're cooking and the onion the Holy Trinity or whatever it is you're starting to to to hear and smell and and hit some bull and all that just and the music's playing in the background and everything that's going on I mean it creates the opportunity to want to talk to want to talk and hear those voices.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah it's the same it's the same way at our house I mean the you know the kitchen is the gathering space you know and it's that that's where the conversations happen they always happen around food.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: You know the and and and the thing that I love about the Benedictins is that is a really really important piece of what they do.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's that gathering at the table that's where decisions are made that's where conversations are had everybody gets a seat you know all of those things are really important in that Benedictine tradition of course that gets back to that whole concept of profound hospitality as well you know sure and and what we do.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: So all right well Randy why don't you bring us home sure uh I think we learned a lot I mean I think that the important thing you need to do is thank that person for that conversation that changed your life if you still have the opportunity to do that if they're still around or do it through prayer or whatever way you can but I think acknowledging those conversations as having a profound rudder direction in your life is a big big deal.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_00: And then the second thing would be hey you're doing that now you know if you're uh if you're over 45 and that don't even it's not even a chronological age thing, you know, but I mean notice how much one conversation can have on the trajectory of another person around you.
• 38:51
  SPEAKER_00: Those of us have been married for a while know that you've got to continually bring a whole nother freshness to those conversations and and realize that everything is possible through conversation.
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: So if something is sideways it's probably sideways because of communication and you're gonna need communication to work your way out of it.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah that's what we've come away with.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 39:13
  SPEAKER_00: So always a pleasure to be with you guys.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: All these conversations mean a lot to me too.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_01: Me as well me as well.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_01: So believe it or not we haven't really got a chance to celebrate this but we've done more than 50 episodes now of of the Resonance podcast uh we're in season three and uh the good news is you know someday they're gonna take all these and create AI versions of the three of us so that is awesome that's really scary our grandkids will all be able to watch so yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah pull my finger yeah exactly I love it 50's good let me tell you what we are uh you know we've had to take a little break and go into the vault a little bit but that but but guess what folks that's because we've been busy doing what we do which is a hallelujah which is we're always grateful for right we're always grateful all right well thanks for joining us and uh again watch for the next episode of resonance we're gonna be recording some more here we got some time in the studio now so uh we look forward to getting back you can find us at all the major res or all the major podcast platforms or at resonanceleader.com and fellas we'll uh see you on the flip side later onks for listening to resonance find us at resonanceleader dot com