Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Listen to this before you go NO CONTACT with a narcissist or toxic person

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Listen to this before you go NO CONTACT with a narcissist or toxic person · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're talking about what you need to hear before you go
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  No contact with a narcissist or a toxic person if you're new
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  here. My name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Drop the bomb on them.
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  Didn't know. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Y'all. So you've seen a bunch of videos
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  about no contact. This is not going to be the same
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  type of stuff that you're used to hearing when we when you
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  talk, when you hear about going no contact with a narcissist or
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  a toxic person, this is like, yeah, so no, if you don't know
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  what no contact is, this is your first time hearing the video
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  about no contact or doing no contact from a narcissist.
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  Like this is the video you need to hear, right mate, This If you
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  don't know what no contact is. It's like when you cut off
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  access to a narcissist or a toxic person.
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  No more access, no more text messages, no more emails, no
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  more responses, no more like nothing, no access.
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  It's almost like you don't exist to this person and that person
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  doesn't exist to you. You know, it's more important
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  that that person doesn't exist to you and your world because no
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  contact has to do with you. No contact is you not responding
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  to them. No contact is you not talking to
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  them. No contact is you cutting off
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  and blocking access to them. But what you need to hear before
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  you go, no contact. Y'all is that This is it.
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  This is it right here for you. This is it.
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  And what I mean by that is this. This might be the last time you
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  talk to this person. This might be like you have to
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  say goodbye to this person. This might be the last time you
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  intentionally see this person. This this might be the last time
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  you intentionally send a text message or write a letter.
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  Whatever it is, this might be the last time that this is it.
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  No more contact after this. This is the last chapter in this
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  book of this relationship that y'all have written.
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  This is it right here. And a lot of people.
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  This is something that a lot of people are not ready for.
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  So many people will tell you, hey, just go, no contact, cut
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  that person off. Yeah, which is true.
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  That's what you need to do a lot of times.
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  But they don't tell you that you have to prepare because it's not
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  as easy as it sounds. You might have years invested in
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  this person. You might have a lot of time,
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  effort, energy, money invested in this person.
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  It might be a very unique it's you.
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  There's it's not easy. There's feelings attached as
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  well. You might have done a lot of
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  work on yourself and allowed yourself to detach from this
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  person a lot, but there's still going to be feelings attached to
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  this person, right? There's still going to be
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  feelings attached to the, to this in this journey, right?
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  So you have to understand that this is like, this is it.
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  This might be the last time you talked to this person ever.
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  This might be the last time you see this person ever.
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  This might be the last time you see this person's voice, last
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  time you see their name. This might be it right here when
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  you decide to go no contact. That's it.
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  It's no more. No contact is no more.
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  So you have to be ready for that.
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  You have to understand that you have to be ready for the the
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  waves of feelings and emotions that might hit you.
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  The the, the, the. You might have a like.
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  You know how people like like when people have like near near
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  death experiences and whatnot. This is like they had a life
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  flashes before their eyes. This is like you.
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  This might be your near death experience, but this is a
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  relationship dynamic right? So this would be the last time
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  you see this person, last time you hit.
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  Like the relationship might flash before your eyes because
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  the relationship is dying or the relationship is already dead and
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  buried, right? So the relationship hasn't your
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  your relationship has a near death experience and you see
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  every like everything replays in your head.
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  The beginning, the good times in the beginning, the laughter, the
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  crying, the clapping of the cheeks, whatever it is, the
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  gifts, the euphoric feeling that you had in this toxic
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  relationship before it all went toxic, right.
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  It wasn't always bad. You start remembering a good
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  time, but then something like, yeah, some bad times are going
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  to flash into your mind as well. But you're hyper focused on the
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  good times right now, right? You're hyper focused on how it
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  feels good right now, right? Because it feels good.
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  It is it you, you, you, you feel, you feel exhilarated.
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  You feel like you're alive right now, right?
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  And it flashes before your eyes and this is it.
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  You know? It's done.
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  You have to think about that because if you don't think about
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  that before you go no contact, then you might end up reaching
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  out to this person again. You might end up contacting this
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  person again. You might end up trying to hear
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  their voice again one more time. You might end up peeking at
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  their social media just so you can see a picture of them one
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  more time. You have to understand when you
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  go to no contact is for you to heal.
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  So you not going to. You don't need looking at their
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  Facebook, looking at their Instagram, looking at their
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  TikTok, their Snapchat, Whatever it is is not going to help you
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  heal in any way shape or form, you know.
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  So get it out. You have to, you have to
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  understand, get it out of your system now because you don't
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  want it to pop up later on, because if it if it pops up
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  later on, it's going to damage you, it's going to hurt you,
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  it's going to make you feel a certain type of way, right?
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  You have to understand that, right?
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  That's where the mind goes. That's where the healing goes.
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  If I'm just telling you right now in this space and it's
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  growing on this growth and healing journey, this is what
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  you have to deal with right here.
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  Y'all this is part of it, right? This is part of the space, This
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  is part of the dynamic. You have to understand that
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  like, if they might, this is it for you.
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  Going no contact is like building a brick wall around
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  your life, right? Just imagine this building a big
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  brick wall around your life. You know how it in movies, like
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  there's one last brick to place, right?
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  And you peek through the brick, you peek through, you see that
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  you've like I said, you have that relationship flash, that
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  relationship near death experience.
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  You see all the good times, the bad times.
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  It all flashes before your eyes. You might cry, you might laugh,
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  you might smile, you might scream and yell or whatever.
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  But you have to be prepared for that when you slide that last
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  brick into place and it's cemented in.
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  Because if you go back to it, if you start breaking down a brick
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  wall, all you work is you put in the heal and grow, go away.
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  You have to understand that right there, this is might be
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  the last time you hear from this person.
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  It might be the last time you talked to this person.
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  It might be the last time that any inner interaction goes on.
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  Any intentional interaction from you goes on because going no
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  contact doesn't mean that they're going to leave you
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  alone. That's the other part of it,
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  going no contact. This is what you need to hear
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  before going no contact as well. Some people don't react good to
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  don't react. They they're not going to wish
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  you well on your healing journey.
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  I'll say that right there. They're not going to wish you
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  well on your healing and growth journey.
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  They're not going to wish you. They wish you the best.
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  They're not going to pray for you.
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  They're not going to want want to just be there.
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  They they're not. They're not going to want.
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  Why would they want that? Y'all.
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  They're not going to wish you the best.
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  I Hey, we we had a good ride. No, they're going to try to make
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  your life harder. Some of them will lose their
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  minds. Some of them will try to take
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  your life. Some of them will try to end
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  your end, your existence. Some of them will have you
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  hemmed up in court for years. Some of them will have you doing
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  all kinds of unnecessary tight stuff, y'all.
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  Some of them will try to hurt you over and over and over again
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  because they feel like you hurt them going no contact.
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  You have to think about that as well because some of them are
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  going to try to make your life harder.
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  Yeah, it gets easier emotionally sometimes for you when you go
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  into contact, it's going to be like I say, it's riding away.
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  It's going to be good times and bad times on your healing
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  journey, right? But that person doesn't want you
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  to heal because the more you healed you are, the less you
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  want to be with them. The more healed you are, the
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  more you grow, the less you want to be with them, right?
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  The less likely you are. That's what the minds that's
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  what goes on inside the mind of a lot of narcissists.
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  They think the more the better you feel, the more you heal, the
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  less you'll want to be with them.
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  And that's true a lot of times though, isn't it?
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  You know. So that's why I just like, I
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  want y'all to be as strong as you possibly can.
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  I want y'all to grow as big and as large as you possibly can.
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  Because this is the year of growth right here.
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  Y'all we're closing in. It's the end of 2023.
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  It's December 27th, 2023. It's healing and growth season
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  right now, right? It's time to heal and time to
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  grow. But this is the stuff you need
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  to think about before you go. No contact.
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  And this is not me telling you not to go.
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  No contact. This is not me.
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  Just say hey, don't go, no contact.
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  This is me. Just say hey, hey, go, no
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  contact. But think about this first.
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  Absolutely go no contact. But think about this first.
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  Think about the mindset of this first.
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  Think about the dynamic of this first.
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  Absolutely go no contact. But think about this first,
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  because you want to get this out of your system before you go no
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  contact. And you want to break no contact
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  because you you left some words unsaid.
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  You didn't say this. You didn't try this.
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  Get that out of your system before you go.
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  No contact you didn't like. And I'm going to tell you this,
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  like this, right here, when you go.
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  No contact with a narcissist, they're going to show you who
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  they really are. The hurt, the pain, the evil
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  that they might have within them is going to bubble to the
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  surface. Then they're going to try to
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  make you feel guilty. They're going to try to make you
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  feel bad about going. No contact.
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  You can't believe you were no contacting me.
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  I can't believe you cut me up. I never thought you would do
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  this. I never thought you would give
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  up on me like this. I never thought you would do
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  this. I never thought you would do
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  that. You have to be strong.
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  Yes, Y'all when you decide, Like I said, believe.
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  How do we do this if we don't have, If we.
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  If we have kids? Y'all.
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  It's different when you have kids.
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  Of course you can still go no contact if you have an
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  intermediary or third party that is willing to do exchanges and
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  handle communication. If you have parenting apps, go
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  no contact is very difficult. When you have kids, you can go
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  extremely low contact, like when you only respond to the stuff
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  about the kids and that's it. Nothing else.
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  There's no lovey dovey stuff. There's no Merry Christmas.
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  There's none of that. Y'all do you just respond to the
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  stuff about the kids? If they send you a long winded
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  message, search for your kids names.
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  Don't like, Don't read the whole message.
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  Look for your kids names. Look for the kids.
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  Read their sentence. Read this is how I tell you
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  this, how I tell you to skim messages.
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  Read the if it's a long ass message, read the first sentence
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  and the last sentence to to to gauge the tone.
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  So now the first sentence is all you need to gauge the tone of it
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  because they start off hiding. Ready.
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  They start off hiding angry as hell sometimes.
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  And you can be prepared for that as well, you know.
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  But narcissistic people, y'all, most of them are not going to
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  want you to heal. Most of them are not going to
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  want you to grow. So I hope you all white before
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  you go. No contact.
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  I hope this video helps you understand that you if you have
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  a one last letter you want to write, one last text message.
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  You need to send one last picture that you need to look at
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  because you need to get rid of all of that this get it out of
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  your system. I'm telling you to send this
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  letter to them or send a message to them.
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  Sometimes writing the stuff down that you wanted to say to them
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  helps get it out of your system. Doesn't mean you have to deliver
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  it to them, doesn't mean you have to send it to them.
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  But get it out of your system because you need.
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  This is the stuff you need to think about before you go.
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  No contact. You know, mother breath.
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  Y'all I hope Y'all hope this video brought y'all some clarity
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  because I gave my breath. I gave my breath for you right
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  there. You know I gave my breath for
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  you. And the woman who inspired this
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  video just sent me an e-mail. So shout out to her.
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  I told y'all. I told y'all go do this video so
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  soon. We got that one-on-one call.
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  See the shirt? You know she inspired this video
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  so I ain't going to say her name because it's for privacy.
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  But shout out to Miss Kay. Thank you for inspiring this
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  video. I still do one on ones over
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  zoom. Y'all, be safe, take care of
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  yourself, make sure you like and subscribe for more 2024, so be a
• 11:55
  year. I'm out Peace.
• 11:58
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness rock star and I appreciate you for
• 12:02
  being here. If you haven't already, make
• 12:04
  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
• 12:07
  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 12:09
  There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
• 12:12
  kids. But remember, it's not your
• 12:14
  fault on Amazon so check that out.
• 12:16
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
• 12:18
  video. Peace.