Latest / How To Talk To Humans / "SEX, and the Value of Communication" #95

Transcript

"SEX, and the Value of Communication" #95 · How To Talk To Humans

• 0:03
  Larry Wilson: Hi, this is Larry Wilson, and this is how to Talk to Humans. This is the podcast that shows you how to improve your communication skills. Are you looking to get a better job? Are you looking to find a relationship?
• 0:17
  Larry Wilson: Are you trying to do things in.
• 0:19
  Larry Wilson: Your life that have frustrated you and eluded you so far? I can show you so easily how to change that.
• 0:27
  Larry Wilson: Now, I can only do it with humans.
• 0:30
  Larry Wilson: If you're looking to deal with vampires or zombies, extraterrestrials, this is not the show for you. But if you're really looking to improve your communication skills, I can show you what I've learned from 40 years in show business working with the biggest celebrities and superstars in the world. And their secrets are unbelievable.
• 0:54
  Larry Wilson: What I'm going to be teaching you.
• 0:56
  Larry Wilson: During the course of this podcast every.
• 0:58
  Larry Wilson: Week are tools that you can use to communicate toward success.
• 1:10
  Larry Wilson: This week's episode of how to Talk.
• 1:13
  Larry Wilson: To Humans is subtitled Love among the Mammals.
• 1:19
  Larry Wilson: Now, before I start getting terrified emails from people, this does not.
• 1:25
  Larry Wilson: This is a joke.
• 1:26
  Larry Wilson: It doesn't mean any sort of animals.
• 1:30
  Larry Wilson: It just means humans. That's all we're talking about here. But it is about how your communication skills are directly related to romance and sexuality. And I'm sure that there's some people who think on this, saying, oh, that's ridiculous. That's all about chemistry and, you know, hormones, and obviously all those things play a part.
• 2:05
  Larry Wilson: But truthfully, when I tell you that everything worth having in this life begins and ends with communication, I mean everything.
• 2:17
  Larry Wilson: And sex really is about communication.
• 2:24
  Larry Wilson: Now, those of you who are hoping.
• 2:26
  Larry Wilson: I'm going to teach you how to talk dirty are in for a bitter disappointment here. That's not really what I'm going to be talking about. But I would urge you to think about the idea that healthy, positive sex is really about connecting with people and creating authentic bonds. Now, I know sometimes people have shorter interactions with people. Maybe they're like ships passing in the night. But what I want to talk about here really has to do with relationships and sex.
• 3:15
  Larry Wilson: Because I think that you can find, not only that you can promote incredibly valuable, long lasting, happy relationships with people through advanced communication techniques. But if you're already in a relationship, you can find incredible benefit by using the same Wilson method techniques I've already talked about. Now, some of these may be puzzling at first, but truthfully, when we think about sexual interaction between humans, the more listening that you do, the more effective your experience will be.
• 4:12
  Larry Wilson: Not just for you, but perhaps even more so for your partner. That a lot of what sexuality is.
• 4:23
  Larry Wilson: It's very easy to think of it as a mysterious and inexplicable and cannot be deconstructed. But in truth, I think it isn't.
• 4:36
  Larry Wilson: Necessarily all those things. I'm not trying to demystify it or.
• 4:41
  Larry Wilson: Remove the magic from it, but I've found, especially talking with professionals, that is doctors and scientific people who study this, that the more you pay attention to your partner and that's listening, that you have a much more gratifying and satisfactory experience for yourself and for your partner.
• 5:15
  Larry Wilson: Because the same tenets of Wilson method.
• 5:17
  Larry Wilson: That we've talked about, about connecting, communicating.
• 5:23
  Larry Wilson: Creating authentic bonds, they apply to this as well.
• 5:29
  Larry Wilson: And I see particularly in media, in current media, some alarming trends towards sexuality.
• 5:41
  Larry Wilson: That seem to be reducing our sexual.
• 5:46
  Larry Wilson: Experiences to mechanical sort of things. I don't mean by this using machines. I mean people where, especially young people. It's alarming to see how confusing it is for them.
• 6:05
  Larry Wilson: More so than it seems to me.
• 6:07
  Larry Wilson: It ever was before in history, at least from what I read and from what I hear people say. And young people seeming more afraid of sex and more wishing that it was not an element in their life.
• 6:25
  Larry Wilson: Well, if you're not interested in it, I don't think you should have to have anything to do with it.
• 6:31
  Larry Wilson: I don't think anyone should push you into any of this. But I would think, for example, if you're trying to develop a relationship with.
• 6:43
  Larry Wilson: Someone, there is nothing as appealing as.
• 6:49
  Larry Wilson: The feeling that someone's really listening to you and seeing you. There's nothing more appealing. And you know, there's a lot of talk, especially with social media and advertising people portraying unrealistic standards for physical beauty.
• 7:15
  Larry Wilson: I'm sure that's true.
• 7:17
  Larry Wilson: I'm sure some of the people they hire for these things. But when you start to really listen to people and when you use these techniques, we've talked about facial affect and eye contact, some of the elements of standards of beauty become.
• 7:44
  Larry Wilson: Really less important.
• 7:46
  Larry Wilson: They become completely incidental. And you can hear me tiptoeing around some of this because I don't want to say anything that could offend anyone or embarrass anyone.
• 8:00
  Larry Wilson: But I think of experiences. A friend of mine who was someplace and saw a guy with, I think it was some sort of tournament of something, maybe his chess or something. And there was some little kind of scrawny nerd looking guy who had a gorgeous Amazonian girlfriend who's sort of sitting behind him. And this friend of mine was totally baffled by that. He just Said, I guess he's like a millionaire or something. I said, not necessarily.
• 8:38
  Larry Wilson: Maybe he is.
• 8:39
  Larry Wilson: I mean, it could be. I don't know anything about them. But when you see what you might think at first are mismatched couples, it might be that this guy is really good at communication.
• 8:55
  Larry Wilson: It might be that.
• 8:57
  Larry Wilson: That when this woman talks to him.
• 9:00
  Larry Wilson: He listens to her and vice versa.
• 9:05
  Larry Wilson: When he talks, she may be listening to him.
• 9:09
  Larry Wilson: If you set up that kind of feedback, it creates a powerful, powerful connection.
• 9:17
  Larry Wilson: I mean, it's. It's almost impossible to deny. I'll tell you the power of eye contact. I was thinking earlier today how if you listen, we hear it in popular music sometimes. You know the singer Bob Seeger, who had many, many huge gold and platinum selling albums and was a big, big deal. And I've never met him. I hope he's a nice guy. Seems like a nice guy.
• 9:57
  Larry Wilson: He's good writer, good musician. Early, early in his career he had a song called Ramblin man. And there was a lyric in it where he said. He said, I ain't good looking but you know, I ain't shy Ain't afraid to look you girl in the eye.
• 10:22
  Larry Wilson: And as a kid, I didn't quite get that. As an adult, I realized, oh, that's.
• 10:27
  Larry Wilson: Really interesting because he's talking about. And he's not a particularly attractive guy. He's not Tom Cruise or, you know, whoever the man de jour is, I don't know. But he was talking about the incredible power of making eye contact with someone.
• 10:51
  Larry Wilson: And not avoiding their gaze.
• 10:53
  Larry Wilson: Or your eye slithers away someplace else that you really look at someone.
• 11:01
  Larry Wilson: Because if the eyes are the windows.
• 11:03
  Larry Wilson: To the soul, as Shakespeare says, then you're opening your windows to allow someone inside.
• 11:14
  Larry Wilson: Can these techniques be used for nefarious and unethical practices?
• 11:20
  Larry Wilson: I suppose they can.
• 11:22
  Larry Wilson: I hope that you won't do that.
• 11:25
  Larry Wilson: I hope that you'll approach these things I'm teaching with the very best of intentions. That's what I'm hoping. You know, I think, as I just said it to you, there's a song by Bruce Springsteen called Working on the Highway. I'm not sure I can remember the exact lyric, but it's about him meeting this girl at a dance. And he said.
• 11:55
  Larry Wilson: Sometimes we'd go walking.
• 11:57
  Larry Wilson: Down the railroad tracks. One time she looked right at me and I looked right back. This is more of the same. This is about. I think it's.
• 12:12
  Larry Wilson: Again, I think it's great news.
• 12:14
  Larry Wilson: It means you don't have to be Handsome or beautiful.
• 12:19
  Larry Wilson: Or have a gym body. Yes. Or have the fanciest clothes or car or a million. You don't have to have any of that. My experience in real life and the lesson that I learned from many, many superstars that I worked with huge stars.
• 12:42
  Larry Wilson: In entertainment, some of whom were considered.
• 12:45
  Larry Wilson: Extremely sexy, was that they were completely normal. They were just ordinary. But they did not shy away from making a connection with an audience.
• 13:01
  Larry Wilson: When you look into the audience and.
• 13:03
  Larry Wilson: Actually make eye contact with people, it.
• 13:06
  Larry Wilson: Can have a profound effect.
• 13:09
  Larry Wilson: In fact, again, I have to. I'm tiptoeing around this. A very famous woman singer who I worked with, lovely, gorgeous woman, very, very nice and very sexy, teased me once. At one point she said, I've seen you with these different kinds of girls and like, they're always sort of different. She said, you know, like tall ones.
• 13:40
  Larry Wilson: And short ones and slim ones and husky ones.
• 13:43
  Larry Wilson: And she said, I don't get what your type is, Larry. You know what?
• 13:49
  Larry Wilson: I said, you know what? I don't have a type. And then I thought about it. I thought, you know what?
• 13:56
  Larry Wilson: I'm wrong.
• 13:57
  Larry Wilson: I do have a type. And she said, oh, really?
• 13:59
  Larry Wilson: She said, because I can't figure it out.
• 14:01
  Larry Wilson: She goes, what is your type? I said, I find women very appealing.
• 14:09
  Larry Wilson: Who think I'm irresistible.
• 14:11
  Larry Wilson: And she thought that was really funny.
• 14:14
  Larry Wilson: But it's true. And I realized, oh, one of the things that was appealing to me is.
• 14:23
  Larry Wilson: People who had already sort of decided that I was appealing to them. That's something you can do. It doesn't matter how old you are.
• 14:32
  Larry Wilson: How young you are. Obviously, when I say how young you are, this is not for people under 18 years old.
• 14:40
  Larry Wilson: It doesn't matter your age, it doesn't matter your income, it doesn't matter. I have to. I'm hesitating to say certain things because I really don't want to throw attention on some people who might not want it. But I think of some people in the public eye who may have a physical deficiency in some way and yet are extremely successful in their romantic pursuits.
• 15:12
  Larry Wilson: This is because they're using the same.
• 15:14
  Larry Wilson: Techniques I'm talking about in Wilson Method.
• 15:19
  Larry Wilson: I, of course, am not a doctor or a clinical psychologist or any of those enumerated sex therapists. But whether you're in a brand new relationship, whether you're trying to develop a relationship, whether you've been in a relationship for 20 years, being clear in your.
• 15:48
  Larry Wilson: Intent.
• 15:51
  Larry Wilson: Being able to express yourself clearly so that your partner feels what's really going on with you, and you're not afraid to listen and hear them and.
• 16:14
  Larry Wilson: Ask for what you want. We come back again.
• 16:18
  Larry Wilson: These are all fundamentals of Wilson Method, that at its most primal level, you're actually communicating nonverbally when you're having sex with someone. I'll close this out by giving you a complicated but actually true example.
• 16:43
  Larry Wilson: There are parts of your body that have different nerve endings, different amounts of nerve endings. Some parts of your body, like your.
• 16:53
  Larry Wilson: Fingertips, have millions of nerve endings. Because we use our finger if you to reach into your pocket, and you had a pocket full of chains just with your fingertips, you can tell the difference between a dime or a penny or a nickel. You can tell instantly that's how many nerve endings you do on other parts.
• 17:12
  Larry Wilson: Of your body, like your elbow.
• 17:14
  Larry Wilson: We don't use our elbows for feeling stuff, so you don't have as many nerve endings. When you engage different parts of someone's body, you can stimulate feelings in them that they didn't expect to have. This is why sometimes we find, you see, people talk about kissing or nibbling.
• 17:40
  Larry Wilson: Someone'S ear or their ear lobe.
• 17:42
  Larry Wilson: Well, we don't have a lot of nerve endings. And so any kind of touch to your ear or your elbow or your foot or your back produces all kinds of strange sensations that they may not expect. And if you combine these, if you kiss someone's earlobe at the same time you touch their elbow, it sends all these different electrical signals that are being carried by very few nerve endings that can surprise and please a partner because they're unexpected.
• 18:32
  Larry Wilson: So all of these can be employed.
• 18:35
  Larry Wilson: In the same way. Everything else in Wilson Method is used.
• 18:40
  Larry Wilson: It's just up to you.
• 18:42
  Larry Wilson: And of course, I hope everyone will be safe.
• 18:49
  Larry Wilson: This has been Larry Wilson. I want to thank you for spending.
• 18:53
  Larry Wilson: This time with me, and I hope you found this information useful.
• 18:57
  Larry Wilson: If you're looking for more, you can find it@thewilsonmethod.com There's a ton of stuff there.
• 19:04
  Larry Wilson: In fact, if you want, you can.
• 19:07
  Larry Wilson: Even see Speak to me because I'm human. Send me an email@infowilsonmethod.com because I read every single one. I hope that you'll join us next week in this continuing journey and you'll be with me for the next episode of how to Talk to Humans.