Latest / The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast / Episode 13: No Fate

Transcript

Episode 13: No Fate · The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast

0:13
Don't talk to me today, Tom, Why am I not to talk that?
0:17
It's gonna make it for an odd podcast if I'm not to talk to
0:20
you today. It is indeed, and the podcasting question is the Tom and
0:24
Jerry Show with myself, Jerry McBride and himself. Tom o'many Harry is all
0:28
keeping it very welcome along. But like I said at the top of the
0:30
show, Tom, don't talk to me this day. Going away, Jerry,
0:34
you relax and I shall talk to people. What he means people is
0:37
not in a literal sense. In other words, when people say, oh
0:40
God, don't talk to me, they're charged up and ready to go for
0:44
at least an hour of nather. So what is up? What is grinding
0:48
your gears? What's right? What's shaking your tree? That's honestly what it
0:52
is. Tom. Anytime an Irish persons don't talk to me, that means
0:55
I've suffered some minor inconvenience. Yeah, sit down and let me pour it
0:59
into your ears, even though let me give you the first world problems and
1:03
it's self inflicted. Tom, I'm trying to look after myself the summer and
1:07
I've quit the drink and I didn't smoke, but I would have quit them
1:10
as well. And I quit the sugar, and then that was all very
1:14
well and good, and like this week, I wracked it up another notch.
1:15
I turned the screw another week bit and I quit the coffee. No,
1:19
no, no, no no. And I have to tell you,
1:22
Tom, I quit the drink handy enough, I quit the sugar handy enough.
1:26
But quitting the coffee, like ants is crawling all over me. What
1:30
did you do that for? Like there's no no, no, no no
1:34
no, this one's not this one's not gonna stick, Tom, this one's
1:38
not gonna And I don't want no. I'm as your as your medical doctor.
1:42
I am advising you to drink caffeine. You're fine, You're fine,
1:46
Jesus, no, don't. You can't walk away from it all, Jerry.
1:49
You won't be worth a course to anybody. You're useless. You'll be
1:53
just would you say you'll be used? Yeh see what right? Sorry?
1:57
Sorry, I've got a little hot there all you're ratty like, no,
2:00
you got no get get back on the caffeine, Get back on the I'm
2:04
always you. I over. I tell you what. I didn't drink this
2:07
weekend because I was gigging this weekend. But you know what I did,
2:08
My body totally u s planted that with a copious amounts of sugar for no
2:16
reason at all. I just found myself drinking like three or four cans of
2:20
coke on Saturday for no reason. And I'm like, I don't what you
2:23
don't deserve. What what are you doing? You idiot? It comes at
2:28
you. Yeah, yeah, it does come at you. I hit I
2:30
hit hit my tomb today with a with a claw hammer, at least thankfully
2:34
this time. So it's not you. That's where we were at in my
2:37
life. Well you're over there like smashing your fingers like you're in North Korean
2:43
jail, asking yourself questions. But do you think I could come off the
2:46
caffeine right now or the nicotine, or I mean the alcohol just isn't inconvenience,
2:50
But there's no way I'm coming off both of those. Not a prayer.
2:53
No, I'm going to go for the biggest coffee that somebody will sell
2:57
me in the morning, because good Lord Almighty, just just getting an espresso
3:01
with three capsules, saying don't take your mouth off until you you're happy.
3:07
But he put it in a cup just wrap your guns around and just let
3:08
it go. No, yeah, the there we go. So I'm gonna
3:14
turn it on for the show here, Tom, I'm like super tired but
3:16
also super hyped. I don't know what it is. It's like when we're
3:20
dying. Fragments of an espresso is leaving me. No, it's not.
3:23
It's just your body is just ratty. Now, that's all it is what
3:25
we're catching Jerry Jones, And for some java, that's where we're at right
3:30
now. So this could be interesting. He could come out with some queer
3:32
stuff to root out, some stuff behind the back of the maybe some fuzzy
3:38
wardrobe of his brain or down the back of the sofa of his mind.
3:40
We could find him stuff, or it could be the single worst show we've
3:45
ever gone. Tom, let's find out. Well, listen, buddy,
3:51
let's see what what what kind of a f we can make of this show
3:53
this week? And you were going to kick off everybody. You're all very
3:57
welcome along, and we've got some things to talk about later on in the
4:00
as well as some of your comments to dive into. But we're going to
4:02
start this week like we start every show with the big news. Tom the
4:05
brew hah, Scotland. But weekly what have You? This is a very
4:11
complicated case, mad You know, a lot of Ian's, a lot of
4:13
out, a lot of what have you, and a lot of SCRAMs to
4:16
keep in my head man Scotland. But I like that one. I haven't
4:20
heard that word in a long time. That ly entirely show what it is.
4:25
But anyway, I'm having enough to hear it the week I suppose the
4:28
Weekly what have you? It is the height of the summer. I mean
4:30
we kind of references that. And don't worry, we will be referencing the
4:33
autumn two and the winter and the spring. They roll around as when it
4:38
happens. We can't. We can't reference the winter in July. That's just
4:43
science. Maybe it wouldn't make it would make sense. So the Weekly what
4:46
have You? Has I'm out of the loop quite a bit. But I
4:48
mean, obviously I'm on social media, so I get I get it.
4:53
And this truly is fest of a season. It really is, Tom,
4:58
it really is. And we actually we had we were wondering what would be
5:01
the Weekly what have you? This weekend? And we were saying, will
5:05
it be the Taylor Swift concerts that took place in the Aviva. Will it
5:09
be the Shania Twain concerts that took place in Cork and Malahyde. Will it
5:12
be Green Day, will it be Longitude? Will it be any of the
5:15
above or all of the above? Because every musician in the world appears to
5:20
be in Ireland right now, so we said we'd lump it all together and
5:24
have a look at summertime music festivals and those that we ourselves perhaps have been
5:31
at or have been part of attended. I will say one thing, and
5:35
I've done a few comedy gigs at music festivals. Never the Twain should meet
5:42
realistically, I'll tell you that, because very few people are coming to a
5:47
music festival with the sole purpose of going to the comedy event. I'll tell
5:51
you, Yeah, I have to say, Tom And this is not an
5:55
arrogon. Maybe it is an arrogant thing to say, but it's it's just
6:00
a statement of fact. I've played at more music festivals than I've attended.
6:04
Yeah, i'd say that will be the same for yoursel I'd say it's about
6:09
the same amount. I would say bang no as festivals go, Yeah,
6:15
I would say bang on the same right, I have been there, but
6:17
I was performing there because I was performing rather than I was a ticket paying
6:21
attendee guest. I gotta tell you it was the Remember it was a couple
6:26
of years ago and I can't even remember the name of the festival it was.
6:29
It was some little as they called them these days. Thought tom a
6:31
boutique festival in the day, that was a small festival. Yeah, it's
6:36
boutique, all right, Okay, we'll call it what it was. And
6:39
it was lovely and it was well attended, and it was in you know,
6:45
the grounds of some Phillis farm, the arsehole and over right the grounds
6:48
of some lads farm. But it was lovely. But I remember going back
6:51
into work at the weekend. After the weekend, they were like, uh,
6:55
what do you do at the weekend? I goes, oh, well,
6:56
I attended such and such a boutique festival in the arshol They're like,
7:00
oh my god, wow, holy crap. We didn't think you were cool.
7:02
We didn't think you were great. Like what bands did you see?
7:04
And I was like no, no, I was doing a tight ten and
7:06
then I fucked off home. Before we get into talk about that, I've
7:13
done. I did Electric Picnic twice, three times. And the two of
7:17
the times we were without child, and so we stayed. We laid out
7:25
the car like forget tense, let's just get yourself an artists pass and get
7:30
to park your car. Why aren't you all doing that? And just do
7:34
this, lay out the seats and duves and you will sleep like a baby
7:38
inside the thing. But two times we did that. And I did Electric
7:42
Picnic during the the COVID times or did I don't know when wasn't COVID,
7:47
I don't know, but they were given money. They were given money to
7:53
our festivals to put on Maria festivals like they weren't at all, but they
7:57
were just going through the motions. So it was most ludicrous Truman show thing
8:03
I've ever been part of. It was Electric Picnic. They had the blue
8:07
ropes up everywhere. They had yellow vest lads all up and down guiding cars
8:11
cars jury singular right driving across forty thousand acres of field by myself, and
8:22
fellows are telling me with real abruptness, of only fellas that will be under
8:24
savage pressure, no pressure at all. Were these men under no And I
8:28
landed into this thing part right up pretty much at the ticket desk because there
8:33
was me at about forty other cars. I'm exaggerating in that in that ten
8:37
acres there was more there. But they set up a bunch of electric picnic
8:43
and nobody was going to it. It was the most bizarre thing. Am
8:50
I just help me with us on? This wasn't electric picnic itself? Though?
8:54
This was some real electric picnic summer, was it? No? It
8:56
was electric picnic in strad Valley. They had the hole, they had all
9:01
the cones out, they had all the blue rope you want, They had
9:05
all the Harris fence and you wanted, They had all the staff you wanted,
9:09
and they I got directed to what I was raging that it wasn't on
9:13
because it was just comedy folk and other people that were performing at different times
9:18
in the day came to see us. But it was this brilliantly imagined,
9:24
a wild kind of fun redneck stage where it had like busted trucks stuck in
9:30
the top of it and pickup trucks. It was cool the way it was
9:33
laid out inside this lovely area inside the forest. Their ten They seemed to
9:37
be about thirty five forty people there, and they were all dressed like performers
9:41
with Jerry Fish and the Mudbug people who were like dirty circus and these people.
9:46
So yeah, half bor leskier people standing there going this is kind is
9:48
actually kind of cool in the middle of the day. It was the most
9:52
bizarre thing from there then we all had There was no hanging around. You
9:56
had to kind of go. They were like, you, you have to
9:58
go now. I went, all right, so there's no hang well you
10:01
can hang around, but there's might be nothing else you can hang around in
10:05
the village. It was the hang around the leash. It was the most
10:11
bizarre thing I've ever been involved with. It was it was, but in
10:13
one way I was kind of gone. So I did I perform at the
10:16
festival? I don't know it does a does a festival? Does it just
10:20
require some stages and if you generator taken over or does a festival need to
10:24
actually have people? I don't know. But a deeper question than can be
10:28
answered with the Tom and Jerry show. But I'll tell you a question we
10:31
can't answer here, Tom, is what's your what's your first big outdoor festival
10:37
experience, your outdoor gig experience. You've already said here somewhere along the way
10:41
that you went to see eminem and Conscious Town. Yeah, and uh before
10:46
you played You Lose Yourself. Where did it all start? I think it
10:48
all started with Beat on the Street. And I think we may have talked
10:54
about this back in the day. I think that's where it started because there
11:00
wasn't music festival was there, Like there was one or two that would pop
11:03
up, but realistically what they were was like you know, traditional music sasius
11:11
would take over a town, like you know what I mean, they'd take
11:13
over say clan Mill, or they might take over Claorgland, or they'd take
11:16
over Galway or whatever, and that's what you would go to, you know,
11:18
to be shocked in the Galaga would have something on and that's they'd be
11:22
barrel rolling, going on and running wife carrying, competitions up the main street
11:26
and stuff like that. But I think Beat on the Street, the seven
11:28
Up sponsored Beat on the Street. What was it, Andy Fanning, some
11:33
man's name, giant glasses and kind of a mullet. No, not Dave
11:37
Fanning. No, there was Andy Andy, No Andy something or other.
11:43
There's people listen to this who I'm not good with nostalgia and I'm not good
11:46
streaming at the screaming and screaming at their phones, going it was Andy.
11:48
It wasn't Andy McNabb. He was an says, went on to be a
11:52
writer, came over the slot a few patties, and it was if you
11:56
look it up, it's so bizarre and aggress of how he but the kids
12:01
are kind of ready for his title of questioning at this beat in the streets.
12:03
And that's what it would be be like. You'd have boys don't perform
12:07
on a trailer and they would take up this is it? Yeah, that
12:09
was a great Dublin. Did you look to Dublin that? No, they
12:13
went around the country. That was the idea of they bring this truck,
12:18
rip back the curtain side on it block the main street and they would have
12:22
different bands on from DJs to different bands and that have breakdancwers and it was
12:26
just the thing to go. And what would happen as a result of that
12:30
then would be people selling shite like those balloons, yeah that bounced back and
12:35
forth with rice inside them, nice and you know the ones. And then
12:39
there's albums with tables out on the footpath selling chocolate. Do you know these
12:45
would attract the vendors of sorts, but it was and it would all pack
12:48
up about six or seven o'clock. I think that could be wrong. Maybe
12:50
there was a later one for older I don't know, but that was the
12:54
only, the only, the only, the only. I had no experience
12:58
with the Beat on the street. Like what we would have been about the
13:00
same age. You and me are of an age, so whatever age you
13:03
would have been there, like what would have been like twelve or thirteen?
13:05
Maybe at most I'd say yeah, because I would have been about thirteen and
13:07
fourteen. But I remember being at school and someone came in and they had
13:11
gone to the Beat in the street in Dublin. We were up home and
13:13
across right, but they had left school at the day beforehand. Oh,
13:20
just just just normally as you would leave school, and went up and parked
13:24
in Dublin. Took an hour and a half to drive up to Dublin with
13:26
their mom and dad and went to the Beat on the street and then got
13:30
back in the Karen drove home when we heard this, d this was like
13:33
you got concord to see Queen live in Philadelphia? Like this was like madness,
13:39
do us what do you mean? You went to the fricking beat on
13:41
the street. I didn't know this was the thing freezing. There was an
13:43
option open to me. Who is this Protestant child? This right somebody?
13:48
But I don't even know how like broach the subject with my parents at the
13:52
time. Yeah, excuse me. I would like you, when you get
13:56
home from driving the dig or for twelve hours a day, to load me
14:00
into the car entry. Yeah, take the sister as well while we're at
14:01
it, and go up to Dublin and park up because I want to go
14:05
see Ott play on the back of a sporting sided trailer. Yeah as swift?
14:13
Would it come your way? You know? Hilarious. If I'd have
14:16
been taking to Dublin, I would have been left there. The one other
14:18
manahad Man, I know, and he lives near us here and he is
14:22
so old school like that that he made one trip to Tipperary got a job,
14:28
and I don't think he's ever gone outside the town before ever since he's
14:31
I don't know how has he gone back to Carbencrass. It's like, oh
14:33
Jesus Christ, where would a fella said start out with that kind of a
14:37
journey, Like it's not that far, it's motorway. Let me tell you
14:41
do you know what I mean? Tell you Tom o'manhoney, exactly how far
14:45
it is Because my first big gig, outdoor gig. Now I've been to
14:50
a couple of bits and pieces. I've been like the concert from the point
14:52
before that would be about it, right, But I went to Temporary my
14:56
friend in nineteen ninety seven, in ninety seven for the day trip to Tip
15:01
which was failing ninety seven failing if I'm correcting. This had been going on
15:07
since the early nineties and it was a multi day festival, very like that
15:13
Electric Picnic is now No, not even I don't want to say, because
15:16
I think it was more like in the town, so it was more like
15:18
the laughs bands instead of comedy. So it was just like bands in the
15:24
town. Yeah, yeah, I always thought it would like the Edinburgh Fringe,
15:26
like yeah, it takes over, it took over turtlers, and it
15:28
would be based out of simple stadium where you would get your big bands like
15:33
at the time the saw Doctors, do you know what I mean? And
15:35
everybody would mow in to see that the saw Doctors obviously, and maybe Planksty
15:39
or Christy Moore might jump up and do an a bit as well, but
15:43
it was it was hind central and people sitting on the telephone boxes like these
15:46
streets were not to be you weren't bringing their car down the street. And
15:50
Jordan Fala like no, no, now after it was a multi day Shenanigan's
15:58
I think the fair people have Afterla said no, that's not happening again.
16:03
So instead they had a day trip to Tip once off day trip to Tip,
16:07
and I think they might have done it two years in a row.
16:10
Ninety seven, ninety eight, gonna need citation that one. I went to
16:12
one tom It was ample, it was plenty, and it was the first
16:18
big stadium gig that I went to and I don't know how I saw home
16:23
from it. Seven I was sixteen, Yeah, okay, right, drinking
16:29
and Simple Stadium, I just I just stuck in Google Maps there for this
16:32
near Simple Stadium is three hours on today's roads away from Carrot Across, right,
16:40
Jesus, the fastest a car can drive from Carrottmacross to Simple Stadium today
16:47
twenty five year twenty six years ago, that would have been all the Abbey
16:51
leagues, all those bullshit, like so you're five hours minimum there on a
16:55
bus for one spin and to get drunk. You were could side around the
17:00
bust obviously. Well you know what I'm going to tell you, Tom,
17:03
and I will say that the lineup was great now with the Prodigy and the
17:06
Mana Street Preachers. Remember that year, Oh water line up. Prodigy absolutely
17:10
ripped it up. Your mind climb to the scaffold and everything. Keith Flint
17:12
like, Yeah, it was like nothing I had seen before or since.
17:17
And in truth now I didn't get the good of it because by the time,
17:19
as the story will unfold, by the time the Prodigy came on,
17:22
I was ready for the bed, you know what I mean? Yeah,
17:26
you were two fighters were at it and like you know big bands at the
17:27
time, like it was a band called Cooler Shaker, but I really like
17:32
and that's a wee bit cringing now when I look back, wrong with Cooler
17:34
Shaker cool? Yeah, when when you listened to them last time, I
17:38
haven't did a long time. I leave it in my memory. I won't
17:41
run. I don't think the sun has shown shown on them all that well.
17:45
After after after the late nineties, what was their song? They had
17:51
a song and it was like goobing, Yes, that's I hear him.
17:57
No, I'm not saying it kind of goes like this, that's the exact
18:00
fuck lyrics. Remember it was just it was yeah, it's weed music,
18:04
like it was full exactly weed smoking Yeah again like you know, it's it's
18:07
it's twenty six years and I remember quicker than I remember the PPS number like
18:11
you know. But no, Tom, we didn't drink cider on the on
18:15
the buss. We got down there and we got out and we went to
18:18
the first off license that we could find and we bought whatever drink Day would
18:21
sell us, and we drank it and we walked into Simple Stadium. And
18:26
immediately I turned around and I was alone in Stemple Stadium, Simple Stadium,
18:30
not a sinner to be seen. I didn't know up from down. I
18:33
was more drunk than anything. And now I'm in turdless no or to be
18:37
seen, no or to be found. Cardigan's on the stage, that's all
18:41
right, And like it took two hours a circle in the stadium and I
18:45
fell across lads I knew from Kark, and I was like, thank Christ
18:49
because I would still be there now. But to be fair to for a
18:53
Monhanman to ever be on the hellout ground, of simple stadium is a very
18:57
rare occurrence. I can tell you that han't happened. You know, how
19:03
would I say this on a family friendly podcast? Tom, I did not
19:08
honor that haddle ground. No you did not, No doubt you did the
19:11
best. I'll tell you a thing. I'll tell you the thing I drank
19:15
that day, Tom, Right, what did you get? What drink did
19:18
I drink? What would a young man be influenced to drink of that time?
19:22
I don't even know that you can still get it, but the ads
19:26
were hopping on the TV. Nope, I don't know that you're going to
19:30
get it. I drank the bad ice. Jesus Christ, were you on
19:36
your period or the bat? I want to say. It was like a
19:41
Canadian beer and it's probably be bought up and bought up by Moulson's and shut
19:45
down now. And they had like this ice brewed beer. They put it
19:52
real cold until ice crystals formed, and then they bottled it. And that
19:56
was the smooth taste of the bad ice. Like Tom, if you're learning
19:59
nothing from this podcast is that my memory stopped logging new entries in nineteen ninety
20:03
seven. I think I here recalled when you were able to when you were
20:10
able to read the micro abrasions of my forehead thinking last week, and we
20:15
were able to figure out that I was thinking of tangoing cash without even now
20:19
I did catch you on Twitter with nobody else picked up on. No,
20:25
that was a one on that. It was never Bartass from Chopper. Yeah,
20:27
yeah, okay, so we were on. I put that, I
20:30
put that in. I put out a tweet. I forgett know what it
20:33
was about, but I put that dog food and I was like, I
20:37
wonder who'll get this lo and behold it was my man Jesus Christ. But
20:41
Tom, let me ask you a question. We're going to move on with
20:45
festivals, okay, because neither of us would be like huge music fans.
20:49
It is true, right, which seems like a weird thing to say nowadays,
20:52
I seem like an odd thing to say. I say it all the
20:55
time. I have a one monthly thing where I pop into a radio station
20:59
and spin one of three in our spin south West. I should say and
21:02
Limerick and have a lot of fun on a Saturday morning, do my best
21:04
to not let them play any music during the time, Because I said,
21:07
I just people are I guess when I go, I don't really like music.
21:11
I don't. I don't wear any of their t shirts or listen to
21:15
Now It's fine if it comes on, but truth be told, I'm okay
21:18
without music, and they are horrified by the notion of that. I I
21:26
would try and keep it breast of newer acts and one thing and another,
21:30
and I would say, like, I'm not a huge music fan. But
21:33
when I think about it, Tom, I've gone to a musical a musical
21:37
concert. I have gone to the Grand Way more than me, way more
21:41
I've been. I've been to a music gig every year for thirty years.
21:49
Okay, you're you're like twenty seven ahead of me, true be told.
21:52
I honestly, yeah, when I think about it, I'm like, yeah,
21:55
no, No, you couldn't drag me out of the house. You
21:56
couldn't drag me out of the house. But I will go see you know
22:00
Cretens. Yeah no, you know, you know, you couldn't drag me
22:04
out of the house. You couldn't drag me out of the house. Oh
22:06
you see easier playing in Crook Park. I suppose to go to that.
22:08
Yeah. So my question to us this, have you ever been to Slaine?
22:14
No? Well have I did? I see Wait a minute, was
22:18
the Slaye did I sell Guns and Roses in? Yeah? I think I
22:22
did. I think I saw guns and Roses there. Maybe I'm absolutely dreaming
22:29
that and I didn't, so I know guns You see, You're kind of
22:32
frying my brain here a little bit because I know Guns and Roses played in
22:34
Slain in like the nineties. I think I got brought there. But did
22:40
they go again or they did go again in relatively recent time? And I
22:42
drove through Slaine to get to a gig and was coarse in every Bollix who
22:47
was like, you know, the goat hanging over the T shirt or over
22:49
the jeans and he had that loop chain. It was like ninety these guys
22:53
just randomly walking across the road. I mean, like this is you know,
22:59
you don't need to look far the spot in Agent Rock the You're absolutely
23:00
right, Tom, Guns and Roses played, I'm like that, what do
23:03
you call that? Freaking do faus on the Joe Rogan Show, Jamie,
23:07
Jamie, I'm the Jamie here. I'm just looking to flying Yeah. Guns
23:11
and Rose played in nineteen ninety two and twenty seventeen. Tom eighty three thousand.
23:18
I didn't, including tom Oman, I don't think them. I don't
23:21
think. I don't think I did. Why do I have that in my
23:23
memory? Who implanted that Jason Bourne ability to I was at that. I
23:30
can't. I couldn't put my hand on the Bible in a court of law,
23:33
Jerry, I'll be honest with you. I just, I just I
23:36
just really enjoyed drinking. And I didn't need to be brought to a music
23:40
professor. We were you in need at the time, Tom possibly, possibly,
23:47
I can't verify Nerd And I don't know I would have had idea a
23:52
deep rooted feelings about giving any money to landed gentry. I mean, that's
23:57
a bit of it, I gotta tell you. Do you know that's kind
24:00
of that kind of when the thing still belongs to some guy called lord.
24:04
I'm like, oh Jesus, for half a second that yeah, I that
24:11
that sits on my that that squeezes my nipples and small little bit. I
24:15
won't lie. It's like I gotta tell you, I uh. And this
24:19
is remember I was saying, like you know about the Uasis night club of
24:22
home, where I'd be like, yeah, yeah, the US is why
24:23
wouldn't you shore right in the doorstep be mad not to go? What else
24:27
would you be at on people to be like no, no, we only
24:29
went there once in our lifetimes and we remember like a treasure childhood memory.
24:33
Yeah, Slain is like that for me. I went to it like six
24:34
times because Slain is only up the road from Carrick. Of course. Yes,
24:38
I gotta tell you, like, after you've done Simple Stadium and return
24:42
half an hour up to Slane doesn't sound all that bad. Half an hour
24:48
there, not half an hour back though, definitely not a half an hour
24:51
back. I tell you one thing that is the thing that that that gets
24:52
me with gigs now Tom, and I got me with Slaine in particular,
24:56
is getting out of the place. Jesus. I can't tolerate people. I
25:00
can't. That's half the reason why I like to go to comedy, Jerry.
25:03
But the handiest way of going to comedy for me is to actually be
25:06
on the stage, because then I can just run out the back door.
25:08
But I don't have I could just force car in the car park. Yeah,
25:11
I've been that soldier one way or another. I've been that soldier.
25:17
But Slain, Tom is a curious beast. I want to tell you quick
25:22
story about going to see Madonna. Jesus Christ. Okay, let's let's have
25:26
this story to to round off this Madonna, of all people, Madonna has
25:36
taken to having an English accent in recent times Read recent times. I don't
25:41
know why, but you look at it happens. It happened to your happened
25:45
to your man from the back three boys. Nobody knew why, perhaps who
25:48
else had happened, and nobody gives out it happened to Scully off the X
25:52
Files. I was, I'll be honest with you, several childhood crushes crushed
26:00
in that moment, which went, oh hell out, Oh Gavner, maybe
26:03
your chimney fuck? Yeah you me Dad? Now if she did go all
26:10
choke having a pint a right with that? I'm all right with that?
26:14
Yeh, Scully? What happens if you fall off a chimney there after?
26:17
You know? So? There was ill feeling against Madonna in need to begin
26:26
with Jesus, because she demanded that slain take place on a sunda rather than
26:34
sad on account of it's a religion. Cabbala is that what it is?
26:42
And she calls by the name Madonna. Yeah, I would have said it's
26:45
rooted in Christianity, just some sort. I want to think of his name,
26:51
like Madonna. Come on, now, what's her real name? Is
26:53
it Noel Ryan or something? What's her really? She got a normal name?
26:56
No, actually heard she's like Prince. Her name is Madonna as far
27:00
as I know is now she was, No, it's Madonna Seconey, isn't
27:04
it? Is it like Jamie on the thing here? Madonna's real name.
27:07
Prince's real name was Prince. Yeah, of course, look at him,
27:11
do you know what I mean? Actually, not from nothing as well.
27:12
I think RuPaul's real name is Rupe Paul. Yeah, Madonna, seccony by
27:18
Jesus, there you go. Every day is school day. There you go.
27:23
I really she dragged it over onto a Sunday, just actipate over onto
27:27
a Sunday. And so that was that was sore, right, And like
27:32
the line up was now no harm to. It wasn't great because Slaine is
27:34
always like, yeah, there's a big act and there's a couple of smaller
27:37
acts and that's all right. But it was Madonna, iggy pop and a
27:41
DJ and not like you know, armand Van Heldon or anything. Like that,
27:45
just like some night right from up the road Spin and Chunes. Yeah,
27:49
like just as you know the way if you're walking into a festival and
27:52
they just have like the radio Plane or whatever. It is just a couple
27:55
of he got the call the night before for sure, right yeah, and
28:00
Iggy popping now a couple of good songs and that he's not You're not gonna
28:03
play it to a Madonna crowd, no, right now, that's you know,
28:08
it's not like I'm here ahead of Garth Brooks, here's Ramstein, like
28:11
not gonna happen, right, Oh, that to be fair, I could
28:15
deal with that, right, I could deal with that. And Madonna.
28:21
I'm still sore about this, Tom. Right, this is two thousand and
28:25
six and nearly twenty years ago. She just didn't come out. She just
28:30
didn't come out. Tom. She was like, you know, eight o'clock
28:33
will be the natural time for because Iggy Pop was off the stage there for
28:36
about a three quarters of an hour. He finished up at like seven o'clock,
28:38
quarter past seven. It's like, all right, okay, they're not
28:41
going to turn it around in fifteen minutes, So forty five minutes eight o'clock,
28:44
that'll be the show, right yeah, and eight o'clock the DJ comes
28:48
back back out and spinning tune. It's like, okay, that's hyping us
28:49
up because Madonna's coming. Madonna's coming in the next half hour, right,
28:53
you know what I mean? Half eight, No nine o'clock, No,
28:56
half nine. Surely I think it was ten o'clock when she came out two
29:00
hours later, and at that stage, the crowd was ready to bottle horror
29:07
go away. Yeah. It was like, you know, it was ugly.
29:11
Everybody was like fuck this, like, you know, just like super
29:15
sore. And she came out and she bashed through like like a prayer or
29:19
whatever like that, and sent you know, it was like we'll forget it,
29:23
but we don't forgive you. And that was like like do you know
29:27
the way people say, like you can sense a riot in the air.
29:30
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I really really think that we were another half
29:34
an hour away from like Woodstock ninety nine. Let's burn this bitch down.
29:38
What a great By the way, anybody who hasn't watched that documentary on Netflix,
29:42
go watch that. It is. It's trumendous. It is tremendous.
29:47
It was. It was essentially if you imagine the entire thing was a limp
29:49
biscuit sound yeah yeah, man, have one of those days It's like,
29:53
yeah, yeah, this place is gonna do you know that? That was
29:56
it? I mean I have has survived like you know ACDC, you know
30:03
it metallic? Yeah yeah, yeah, you know, righteous crowds and all
30:07
this kind of thing. And the closest day had come to storm in that
30:11
castle and kicking him out of the country was Madonna in two thousand and six.
30:15
She was probably inside drinking tea with him, getting an English accent of
30:18
him. That's what she was doing now, just to just to grind your
30:22
gears a bit more. There there you go. Well, anyway, guys,
30:25
if you have been to any of the musical gigs going on this summer,
30:29
or indeed you're going to any of them, let us know in the
30:30
comments. We want to am I wrong about Madonna? I've been too harsh
30:33
on Madonna. Where are you at the day trip to Tip? Were you
30:36
at the freaking bean on the street? I want to hear of even the
30:40
boutique ones that Jerry's on about that. I haven't a clue at a bout
30:44
I've done it. I think I've done I've done a couple of boutique festivals.
30:47
I suppose you'd call him boutique festivals. One where a wild deer walked
30:52
right up to the side of the stage. Nobody could see it. While
30:53
I say it was wild, it was actually on part of a deer farm
30:56
and this deer was full antler deer up and I couldn't. I tried to
31:00
reference it, but nobody could see this deer looking at the side stage at
31:03
he was like he was all but tapping his fucking wrist kind of going hurry,
31:07
winded up there, Tom, you've done? Yes, your time,
31:11
Tom. I tried to shoot it, but here we are. Yeah,
31:15
well so that is the week. Yes, that is the weekly? What
31:21
have you? Uh? And and that deer? Yes? What what can
31:25
we said? The hell of an animal? A wonderful way to make a
31:30
hymns of a Seguey, how this is going to be? You are just
31:33
going to use your ten point antlers to just absolutely smash your way through like
31:37
the you know, the kool Aid guy, and just smash into this with
31:41
I'll get through this, like I said, this is it's it's become an
31:44
apparent. Tom the coffee is the captain of this ship. But enough about
31:48
all that, and all the guys that are playing music and festivals across the
31:52
country over the summer. That's those guys. And there's plenty of those guys.
31:56
Every time you turn around those guys. You can open your front door.
31:59
Out of those guys. There there's someone where you look at them,
32:04
Tom, you have to say. And then there's this guy. Now there's
32:07
that guy. This guy, Oh my god, what we've pushed it.
32:14
We've pushed this guy in a few directions, haven't we. We've pushed this
32:16
guy from this guy. This woman's Yeah, it's state of mind town.
32:22
It doesn't it's this guy can be a lady, it can be an animal,
32:27
it can be the entire England football team, it can be terribly it
32:30
seems. Yeah. No, they won. I think last night against all
32:34
odds, they beat Switzerland by all accounts. This is but I sent this
32:39
on to Jerry because this lad is broad When you go to this lad and
32:45
we have now I didn't see us going here because it kind of terrifies me.
32:49
But this is coming from NPR Radio, which were I don't know how
32:53
I have this pops up on my my Twitter feed every so often, but
33:00
God, Almighty. This is the were we log this moment. People log
33:04
this moment. Literally, find your Google calendar if it will, you know,
33:07
it probably won't allow you in a couple of months time, you know,
33:08
with AI, but I want you to log this moment that this is
33:13
when Miles Silverberg found that chip and it took his company Skynet in a whole
33:19
different direction in whether he referenced in Terminator two, because this is the beginning
33:24
of the injury. And yeah, Tom tells people what we're saying, because
33:28
I can't look at this God Jesus Christ, I have it open here,
33:30
and it's actually a moving gift of what we're seeing. So the title is
33:36
a robot gets a face out of living human skin that allows the smile.
33:42
So, yeah, they're they're scientists in I think they're in Tokyo, of
33:46
course, of course, university researchers. So basically they've come up with a
33:53
layer of skin that they were able to culture from human human skin, and
33:59
they it would actually move perfectly over and the one they've done it in they
34:02
have a two D version that they've pulled over a bunch of little nodes behind
34:07
it that will move it around. So if you imagine people, what we're
34:09
looking at is do you remember was a semi slices of that pork onion?
34:15
And to Matt it looks like Billy Roll. That's it with two of the
34:20
cree and it is everything a nightmare begins with. Right, that's the two
34:24
D version. So if you imagine a whole pilot, little nodes behind it
34:29
moving the face into a Billy Roll smile of this shiny, gelatinous, pink
34:35
blob of skin that I am still going with, I'm going to need to
34:38
reaffirm here it's from a human like they whose skin I don't know, but
34:46
like they're okay in this jury by saying, ah yeah, but you're like
34:50
down the line lights. This kind of technology can be right good for people
34:52
who need plastic surgery and stuff. Do you know when we're no, your
34:59
absolute bostards, you're not trying to put that on somebody, You're not.
35:04
You're putting it on a robot first, And it's smiling, which is even
35:07
more terrifying, Like not you could have had it just winking, You could
35:12
have had it just raising its eyebrows. Instead you have this big, al,
35:15
creepy, wrinkled, shiny cachilatinous smile coming up bad enough, that is
35:21
jar. But if you scroll down the page, No, I've seen that.
35:22
I seen like that, Jesus Christ. We're straight into Westworld here,
35:27
like they're now pulling it able to pull it over an actual head skull,
35:31
a skull and a robots skull, and it'll my god, this is it
35:38
like doctor A couple of things here, oh Lord Jesus Christ. Like number
35:45
one. Probably the biggest question I have is who asked for this? No,
35:50
not a sinner, chure, I'll tell you that straight up, not
35:52
one sinner who didn't look two minutes down the line. How And I don't
36:00
think words can we'll throw it up on the socials. I don't think words
36:02
conveyed that. The sheer horror of what this week's This lad looks like it's
36:07
a it's a robot, yes, but by that we mean like it basically
36:10
is an electrically movable item. It it It looks like if you if you
36:19
left a petty falou out in the sun and a skin came on it.
36:22
Like it's it's pink, Tom, It's a pink smiley face. It's a
36:28
pink face that smiles. It looks like it's just delighted that bregsit went through.
36:32
Yeah, all right, all right, so think think of anybody that
36:39
voted for break Brexit, just happy, you know, yeah it does.
36:45
Yeah, you know what Tory role would be a good difference, Yeah,
36:47
Tory role. Yeah, all right, Gamon, it's got this Gammon colored
36:52
face. It's surroundous, and they can make it smile, tom, If
36:54
they can make it smile, you could. And this is what I want
36:57
to know, And why does it have to be living? Like? Why
37:00
is like what was wrong with just like good plastic ausure? He said,
37:04
listen, he's he's he said, it's a fifty to fifty deal. Basically
37:07
he's putting this on the robots to just you know, because it'll work better
37:09
for smile than ever. But down the line, he says, you know,
37:13
it could be they could it could end up being self healing. You
37:16
know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna how will I say this
37:21
time? This is a wee bit near the me. Have we got to
37:22
remember seeing nineteen eighty four where a certain I need your clothes, your boots,
37:29
onto your motorcycles, onto your motorcycle. Here's the thing right. I
37:31
read somewhere that robot design is hampered by this idea that they should stand and
37:37
walk like humans. Okay, if what you wanted was a robot that delivered
37:44
your post, put it on four legs like a dog, and it'll never
37:46
fall over, and it'll walk around the place and it'll be quicker or aunting
37:50
like that. But when you get a thing that stands up and walks on
37:52
two feet and has arms like a human, that's when it loses balance and
37:54
it falls over, and it's the way distribution is not right or a yeah,
38:00
that just just make it like a dog, or make it like a
38:02
little car wheels and it just wheels around the place like R two D two
38:06
is probably the most realistic robot you've ever seen in your life because it's just
38:09
three wheels and he just wheels about the place. So forget trying to make
38:15
them look like see three po. Okay, you have two robots in Star
38:19
Wars. You see three PO. He stands up like a human, and
38:22
you've two just wheels around the place like a wheel bin. Now see three
38:27
PO is falling down after three steps in real life, I'm sorry, that's
38:30
just going And R two D two would make it from character across the simple
38:32
stadium. Nobody, he would actually would, right, So when people say
38:37
no, they must be human look and they must have human faces, there
38:40
must be human proportions, and it must be living, real skin that looks
38:45
and feels like a human. One thing pops into my mind, you're making
38:49
that to ride it one hundred and ten percent because they won't. I'm sorry
38:54
they, you know that was exactly my mind. It was like, Oh,
38:58
you're putting it on the face. You're getting living, working skin on
39:00
the face, living working skin that's that smiles and makes kissy faces. Yeah,
39:05
because that's not where you want the working skin work. And I know
39:07
what you're doing. I know what you're doing. Your road tested it up
39:12
around the face first, and before you know it'll be down to the coach,
39:15
down at the flute, whatever floats your boat, working like a jackhammer,
39:20
working like a dust bit, whatever you need. You're one hundred percent
39:22
right. Somebody wants to ride it, that's what it is, that's what
39:25
it is. Wants to write that test the truck looking dog that was terrifying,
39:30
and black mirror that was chasing everybody down. You remember that looking thing.
39:31
Nobody and yeah. I get to the Boston Dynamics every now and then
39:37
they're like, oh this this this robot dog you can kick an own fall
39:39
over brilliant, Like will it deliver me post? Yeah, Grant And by
39:43
the way, stop kicking it. It's going to become sentient Christ and that
39:47
and that's the next thing, Tom. I mean, it's one thing to
39:52
you know, if you want to drop two million yen or whatever it is
39:55
making these sex robots, hey here, yeah, what can I tell you?
40:00
All right, but these things are gonna turn I joked. People thought
40:07
I was a lunatic. I used to do with this bit before. Where
40:10
a guy genuinely in the audience after one of my shows one year, he
40:15
I asked him what he did for a living, and it was like this
40:16
guy be waiting his whole life. He said he developed his small engineering firm
40:21
in Dublin, and he developed he was after getting a contract for developing prosthetic
40:25
arms for monkeys and chimps that had lost their arms primarily in minefields, of
40:34
the likes of Cambodians, of minds that had gone off. I went and
40:37
the whole audience went aw and I went, right, I'm not buying it.
40:42
It sounds too adorable. And the guy came up with his actual like
40:45
pamphlet and never since my card aft And the first thing into my head was
40:50
you just gave a chimp that's already ten times the strength of a human and
40:55
is already furious one who's you blown their arms off them by human hand,
41:01
And now you're giving him bionic arms like Jack's out of no what was it
41:07
mortal combat? Yeah, you're giving him furiosa arms. Here, you're giving
41:10
him furiosa arms. What do you think is going to be the outcome?
41:15
He's now gone up ten x in his power and he can never be broken
41:19
again. Bar He's just wants to kill every human that walks the earth.
41:24
What is that kill? Now? Yes, you can do like this guy
41:31
is absolutely passing it off. This doctor Takeyoshi. He's passing off by going
41:35
look at lads, Jesus Christ, this skin could work great for humans down
41:38
the line, and keep development in the lab. You don't have to stick
41:45
it on a robot to smile at us, because that's not going to teach
41:49
us anything about a burn victim down the line. It's just keep it.
41:52
Stop putting it on things that you want to ride? Do you know what
41:55
I mean? You know? And normally when we get to this lad's this
42:00
lad segment of the show tends to be this lad with gas. I think
42:05
this is the first time we've said this lad, and I'm quite scared of
42:08
it. And uh, I hate to see what the next ten years bring
42:13
us, whether with the help of God, doctor Tekiuchi, he just finds
42:19
Jesus or something. I don't know because this is but you know, the
42:22
lads in Japan and the lads in Crisper and China, they don't They're on
42:27
to the next. If we're reading this now, Jerry and seeing Jesus Christ
42:30
scrolled down. So if we're reading this now, Jerr, that's we're it's
42:36
already too late. Oh I tell you now, it's already too late.
42:39
Have you like, have you seen Simon Harris? Like can you see him
42:44
like sweat? Can you see like? Can you see him blink? I
42:47
wouldn't bank on it that his face isn't of Samue Role origin. Do you
42:52
know what I mean? You keep calling that Samue Role tomb with the Sami
42:54
roll down your way? I know what's what's called again, Billy Role.
42:59
We were never well, you were up close to the arts of years.
43:00
We were never well yeah, yeah, yeah, Billy roll. I'll tell
43:08
you one thing. We were never allowed to get Billy roll, but we're
43:10
allowed to get the chicken and ham roll. And I was like, in
43:15
my mind, I have bravery to say it to me. Mama was like,
43:17
what is the difference of these day things. It's the same stuff.
43:21
They just made a smiley face on one. They just made one pink and
43:23
the other one kind of brown and white. Now, your mother knew,
43:25
she knew what said what said she was on. She knew full well,
43:30
she knew you used to have a joke years ago about the Brinkles guy.
43:32
She knew, damn well, she knew damn well that the Billy Road was
43:37
just too Protestant. But yeah, maybe some of the fine listeners of the
43:43
Tom and Jerry Show can think of a hundred reasons to have living human skin
43:49
over robotic endoskeleton. I can think of one two at tops. Yeah,
43:54
I mean, if we want to just you know, Robert Harley Davison,
43:59
but micro jacket and it's it's it's it's either riding it or sending it in
44:05
as an infiltration unit. I'm not seeing a middle ground here, Tom,
44:08
Oh No, for sure, it's riding it infiltrated everything, everything war related
44:14
is going into the air. That's all drones. That's true too. No,
44:17
nothing on two. As you said, if you wanted to send something,
44:21
you'd send the galloping horse sized robot. Yeah, with cannon's hanging out
44:24
its hole. That's what you'd send into war. You would not put a
44:29
fellow who stands upright on two gammy legs, you know, No, no,
44:32
no, no, actually yeah, I had I had a bit of
44:35
a a bit of a breakthrough Tom. Lately. I've always said that I
44:38
could fight a bear, and I think I realized you know why I think
44:42
that, But I would never fight a tiger. Why why would you think
44:49
you could fight a bear and but a tiger would have you? Because I
44:53
honestly, I can visualize myself fighting something that stands on two legs, but
45:00
something that runs on all four I would I wouldn't where the swing of thump.
45:04
Okay, okay, okay, Here I am thinking that swinging the tump
45:08
of a bear is going to be effective. Here, to think about a
45:12
bear, he's just as comfortable on all four. That's terrifying about it.
45:15
But he's done all fours. I'm like, no, no, no,
45:15
But when he rears up on the back legs, that's what I happened.
45:19
You know, that's a foot body stands up in front of You're like,
45:21
who's this pussy? They can move, Tom, I got a strategy.
45:24
I could just do a leg sweep chair, just leg sweep any rate living
45:31
robotic skin man made horrors beyond our comprehension. That is the Tom and Jerry
45:38
show for today. We're not going to fight the robots, Tom, and
45:42
we're certainly not going to fight each other. Hold your wish now chair before
45:45
you head out the door. You have one hand on the on the handle.
45:49
My head two minutes got stop. Got me thinking this whole festival business
45:55
and all the rest of it, and the comfort zones that maybe you are
46:00
I have left themselves fall into and everything else. And I have a young
46:02
young and on the way, young and on the way. He's four,
46:06
but he's on the way now into he I'll have a way to break news.
46:08
Yeah, I know, jeez, how is it? But he now
46:13
wants nothing short of like he's he's going full bear of grills because the kids
46:19
that he's hanging around with here. They're full bear of grills like they're right
46:22
shoes and you know, our secondary and stuff, and all he wants for
46:27
is camping. And I don't know if I don't know if we're going to
46:30
have how much of a row we're going to have on this. But I
46:31
have to now circle myself back to my childhood and teenage years where we found
46:37
camping. We all camped, but we found camping handy for a group of
46:42
young phlas that wanted to just go drink cider in the woods. Right.
46:45
The tent that wasn't always a full of necessity. I'm just saying, if
46:50
you have a pen knife and a couple of ten ten twenty bigs and an
46:52
imagination, you can you get a tent going. If you've got enough white
46:59
line lightning. It's you know what I mean, it's it's going their homeless
47:02
is what it is in the forest for a night, but it's you know,
47:05
you're there with your friends. So it was all right? How where
47:07
where? How what do you think would you would you ever go back in
47:13
the camp big world ever? Again? Where you a scout a beaver wasn't
47:17
And I think like if you if you want to be somebody that camps and
47:22
we got we got to chatting about this when we were talking about festivals and
47:25
all this kind of crack and people that go camping at festivals. I personally
47:30
can't think much worse then going down and pitching a tent at Glastonbury or somewhere
47:37
like that, and it's absolutely the pest ands and rain, and you walk
47:40
down into a muddy field and you listen to Cold Player or whoever it is,
47:44
and you make your way back to your tent. By grace of God,
47:46
you find your and nobody's shaking a shit in it, nobody's taking a
47:51
shit in it. And then you get in there, muddy boots on the
47:53
whole lot, and you try and sleep in the ground in the field in
47:59
the middle of and over. Now that's you know, that's Glastonbury. Million
48:02
people, whoever it is, that might be done at five on the thousand
48:06
people whomever are many will be done at it. I don't know. I'm
48:08
not gonna do a Jamie. It was probably about ten thousand tops. I'm
48:10
gonna put it. I'm gonna put that off. I'm gonna put that off
48:14
the table. There that's not fucking camping. That's just that's just kind of
48:17
I don't know what that's catology, right, that's that's when you're seventeen to
48:22
nineteen, sweet as, because you like, I would never want to hear
48:27
a seventeen or nineteen year old even getting a sneeze. I don't want to
48:30
ever hear him fucking having a sore body part of any sort nothing. You
48:35
are that bulletproof, like bulletproof, you remember when you were Jesus Christ.
48:39
I've got one kid working up on the site now at the minute. He's
48:42
Lithuanian kid. Yeah, it's embarrassing how how hardy he is, how good
48:47
and you're like, you're twenty one, that's exactly what you're supposed to be.
48:51
This guy just wants to just go through the wall rather than building it.
48:53
You know, he's so if you're doing that shit, that's who that's
48:58
for. But when I see guys with white beards and beads, I'm just
49:01
going to their beads. Can't just get in the fucking see And just before
49:07
we fill it in beads, I get out of my face. If you're
49:09
a fifteen year old girl, one hundred percent, but don't be don't be
49:14
let me see with great hair and beards and and fucking beads. So don't
49:17
don't, don't blow through content time. We could be coming back to bear
49:21
the beads now in a couple of weeks time. But the focus the campus
49:27
camp and now the camp and the camping. And I've had okay, so
49:30
so so so so so I've I've been to the camp. So tom I
49:37
went, and that I went. That like the euro camps kind of thing
49:40
where you go over and you get a little mobile home and you you stay
49:45
in it or if you want. There's like little bungalows and they're like teeny
49:47
tiny bungalows and and the place is like split up into into into four.
49:53
You've got the bungalows there might be like a couple of hundred of them.
49:55
You have the mobile homes that might be like five hundred of them. Then
50:00
you've got space to park a camp or van. Right, Okay, now
50:04
that's proper order. You've you've committed, you've made a thirty thousand Deutsche mark
50:09
minimum commitment. And that's just a fuel to fucking get from Ireland to Island,
50:14
all right, Yeah, to get from the Netherlands down down to the
50:17
middle of Italy and then down the way you have the last part of the
50:23
site, and that is straight up buying a peg into the ground tent camping.
50:30
And the people I feel that do that love it because they've got like
50:36
the best tents. They've got like eighteen hundred euro tents. Yeah, you
50:40
know, they've got like proper bags, they've got like the little gas camp
50:45
and stoves. Everything is like camping. It's not just something that they threw
50:50
together to take down. They actually go to those industrial estates that have that
50:53
camping section in Halford's. Yeah, and they and they drop two grand and
50:59
like, we are going to go and this is our holiday for the year.
51:01
We're gonna go here, We're gonna pitch a tent, We're gonna sleep
51:05
in the tent on a gradient for two weeks. Yeah. I see.
51:10
I I'm like, yeah, it doesn't work for me, brother, No,
51:14
you see this is where I veer off now from that, this is
51:16
where I want. Yes, Okay, so you're basically you're giving me the
51:20
DMO here for my opinion on this. Right, So I think you you
51:22
wait, like you're either one or the other, either going camping or you're
51:27
not going camping. That for me still isn't camping like you brought all the
51:30
fucking year and the trappings that makes it as comfortable as you possibly can't.
51:32
Hey, how about you just spend the same money on a hotel? Trust
51:37
me right? Like what I'm talking about camping off with just a bag full
51:43
of sausages, something to start fire, and something that will pitch a tent.
51:47
That's what I'm on about. Like would you couldn't be for that time?
51:52
Because that is I'm not far Yeah, like if you or don't do
51:58
it at all? You were you going to tyler? What the fuck to
52:01
me? Where do you go to toilet? Where do you go to the
52:04
tiler? You know? Just squat and field like an animal? What what
52:08
are you talking about? What are you talking about? Have you never wiped
52:12
her home with a dock leaf? That might be the end of the Tom
52:16
of Jerry Show podcast right here. I know my gast is flabbert here chair.
52:25
Have you never just rooted around went well, there's a doc leaf that'll
52:28
do the best I can the best I can do you, Tom, is
52:31
my whole has gone unwiped. No, no, you gotta root up something
52:37
from God, God's toilet papers all around you in the countryside, Jesus Christ
52:43
and God's fucking staff infections. There is nothing that's going to give you like,
52:51
nothing's going to kill you. That's the thing about Ireland is the best
52:52
place to go camping. There's nothing going to kill you here. All you're
52:55
gonna get here is a moon. You're just gonna end up with a moon
53:00
after it at best. Yeah, I wonder why you sell the soula cream
53:04
is so high in this country time. No, I can't be doing with
53:06
it. Okay, I'm telling you now. I'm telling you now, you
53:08
you you come camping with me. You come camping with me, and we'll
53:13
do it proper. I'll make sure we won't have to spoon or nothing.
53:16
There's not gonna go full you know, broke back arounds and we just take
53:21
the tent. We go into the woods. We point in the direction and
53:27
we just get get some dry kindling, get a fire going, and we
53:30
bang out the sausages and off we go again the next morning, like a
53:34
couple of habits on the wait. I mean, like you know, you
53:37
know, as you say, there's a bit of adventure in you. Surely
53:40
gets going come on, it's gonna you don't won't have to fight a fucking
53:45
bearger. I'd love to I'd love to think that I would have the component
53:49
for that, or you know that I would have fund in that. The
53:52
closest I've ever been that and it's no where near it, it's no where
53:55
near it, and it's still the clothes as I've ever got to was we
54:01
went glamping one time up the north in a yort or something in New York.
54:07
So we went out and there's like an already there campsite with like eight
54:10
of these big fancy tents. They're already up. You don't have to put
54:14
any of them again. In the next field over there where you can put
54:16
your own tent up, yes, like an animal yeah right again, because
54:22
cows are known to put up their own fucking tents Jerry, yeah, yeah,
54:24
yeah yeah. And over here you had the big yurts, if you
54:29
want to call them that. And when you went into it, there was
54:30
like three beds, you know, a double and two singles with the kids.
54:36
There was a TV, a TV, yeah, a little TV.
54:42
So there's like charging points for your phone and all this kind of crack.
54:45
But even at that now the toilets, the block of toilets, and the
54:47
shower thing, the compost three hundred yards back the way at like a little
54:53
complex, like a little farmhouse kind of a thing. Yeah. So when
54:58
I had to get up to go to the toilet at night, I had
55:00
to get out of the tent and walk a couple of hundred yards up the
55:04
way. Hold on, what well you got? If you were, you
55:06
have to do it, take it dump hi all? Fair enough. But
55:09
if like, if it's a pace, you are not walking three hundred yards,
55:13
well I'm not not the family are staying either, Yeah, but find
55:20
some foliage and pissing among that. I know, those little Nordies around the
55:23
place. I couldn't go. Okay, I but even at that time,
55:29
even at that, like that's as good a camping as experience as you can
55:31
get. That's a that's that's as near being in a house. Yeah,
55:35
that's even that. I was like miserable, Get me out of here.
55:37
I don't want it. But this is where I think you're This is where
55:39
I think you're you're missing out. You're all you've done is gotten a wiggly
55:44
the taste of camping, and it's worse than than not than not going.
55:49
You know what I mean? I think you trusting. I put a big
55:53
cameo jacket on you. You gets you in full full booted boot suited and
55:57
booted so you don't get wet from you from the gear. Your head on
56:00
out with me and we just bring just the basics. Just we can actually
56:05
when we can go with an hundred dinner? Do you not listening? I
56:08
don't want just the basics. I want the exact opposite of that. No
56:12
you don't, because you can go and stay in a hotel anytime. You're
56:15
living in a lovely house with lovely warm walls, and you have the best
56:19
of gear inside in the fridge. Right now, I'm telling you take your
56:22
one hundred and eighty degrees away from that, because all the York was was
56:25
just a shitty version of your house. Do you know what I mean?
56:29
It's like, oh, we're staying in the utility, do you know what
56:31
I mean? And your cure to that, Tom is an even shittier version
56:37
of my house. No, not like your house. It'll be not like
56:39
your house. The freedom I've just gone, where will I shit? I
56:45
mean, that's my new book in Esens. Now it's yeah, titled where
56:58
will I shiit this? This seems like the least efficient way to get a
57:00
rash on your ars? We are you worried about your whole? Like you
57:05
just you've had it checked. It's fine, it's fine. Trust me.
57:08
The less worrying you do, the better, the better. You're not beating
57:15
the broke back man an allegations. We're like, you don't have to worry
57:19
about your hole. It's fine, trust me. Someone snipped that that's getting
57:24
clip Jamie. Jamie clipped that, okay, all right, I again,
57:30
I want to take you. I'm doing this more for myself because I haven't
57:34
done it since I was maybe seventeen or eighteen, proper camping, and I'm
57:38
going to have to start getting back into it now. And I will tell
57:42
you a man who likes his comfort, and he's friends with both of us,
57:45
mister Paul Crowley. He likes his comfort, he likes things tidy.
57:49
When he drove the truck when he was a truck driver, apparently you'd look
57:51
into it and it was like it was just after coming out of the showrooms
57:54
and Paul found himself taking up camping and now him in a couple of boys.
58:00
They go camping camp and they're going edging closer and closer to actually doing
58:04
it the real deal, and their city fellas originally city fellas. Even so,
58:08
I'm telling you it might be out there for you, jer I might
58:10
be able to get you and you could be a complete convert before you know
58:15
what you're coming back, which is a red ragged tied around your forehead,
58:20
a big crocodile knife in your mouth. And you're just like, well,
58:23
let me ask you a question. If we go on this camping trip.
58:27
If we go on this camping trip, can we camp somewhere near to like
58:29
a body of water that we can also go fishing? Yeah, okay,
58:32
no, I'm definitely going on. I have no interesting fishing to be I
58:37
have no interesting fishing. I will we can we can go and get a
58:39
couple of rabbits if you want. I can do that. I've done that
58:43
for I did that for a couple of city vote decided to come camping with
58:45
me before, And yeah, it was quite it was a bit too real.
58:51
Yeah, and then you cook them and you eat them. I'm starting
58:54
starting to realize why they're all just shipping out and fields here compared to me
58:58
we're gonna wrap up the Tom and Jerry show. I don't think we're going
59:00
to find common ground on that, but we found common ground there last week
59:04
when we threw it out to the social media about shady summer jobs that you've
59:07
done, about picking stones and we had talked about fucking turf and such like.
59:15
So we threw it out here to the social media. See what they
59:19
said. What was their worst jobs than a man? Here? My man
59:22
Marcus McCabe said that he worked in a fireplace factory when he was fourteen.
59:28
Again, Tom, Jamie, look up the legal age man can work in
59:31
this country. I like that. And that's the obscurity of it. Like
59:37
you know, you'd be just poorn window sills or working in a fire fireplace.
59:42
Yeah. Yeah, it'd be no transferable skill one, no, nothing,
59:45
nothing that you'll take on to the next level other than how to be
59:49
able to deal with a sour outbollocks. That's all you'll be able to deal
59:52
with. It'll set you up in life for having to deal with a sour
59:55
bastard, because guaranteed he worked with a couple of sour bastards. I mean
1:00:00
he did, okay, but he said that he's sandpapered fireplaces. Now I'm
1:00:05
gonna need you to walk me through that one, Marcus. Now sandpapering fire
1:00:07
fireplaces, but I'm guessing before you put the black painting them, they all
1:00:12
have to be smooth. I don't know any rate he would. It's either
1:00:15
if he's if he's sending sand papering, it's timbers around on the fireplace.
1:00:20
If he's sending it's probably up on the marble. Little he was probably would
1:00:23
have big grinding patch if he was doing that. So one or t other.
1:00:29
It can only be one or two materials, seems using the mystery continues.
1:00:34
A great job for a fourteen year old. Great job, Yeah,
1:00:37
yeah, yeah, a more fourteen year olds should have it. We got
1:00:39
my man's over here. Gustin says that he collected seaweed off the beach in
1:00:44
the morning and did not get paid and was made dry it out and eat
1:00:49
it for lunch for the rest of the week. So you got got Gousten.
1:00:53
Isn't the greatest? Like several times there isn't it great? Like clearly
1:00:59
he I would go as far as to say he's not from Ireland. I
1:01:04
might be doing him in there, but I can't confirm that we got seaweed
1:01:06
on the bag as well. We do, but you rarely have to draw
1:01:08
it in and ate it. But maybe he was just that was the company,
1:01:13
the family business, and it was an Irish business. But isn't it
1:01:15
great? What do you call the seaweed you can eat up the north?
1:01:21
Yeah, seaweed? Seaweed? I don't know, let us know in the
1:01:23
comments. But it's great, isn't it to see that it's the country or
1:01:29
the world over, whether it's pulling stones or pulling bukelons or ushtons. I
1:01:35
was told the other day that they're calling Wicklow. Somebody messages going bookelons,
1:01:37
you call them ragwort, they're goons or ushtons or something. They call them
1:01:44
out out east. But isn't it great that you can go as far as
1:01:47
seaweed and in your head seaweed ah sp it's lovely, And all of a
1:01:51
sudden you you pick back through the layers and just go back down the chain
1:01:54
of command, and you find that there's some poor bastard of young fla has
1:01:59
to get up out of it in the morning, go on to the freezing
1:02:00
cold sea, which I've told just several times in my opinion on and has
1:02:04
to pull that shit out of a dryot and then forced to eat it for
1:02:07
the week, and not any did he get for It's better. That is
1:02:13
character building stuff that is great to hear it, Tom and Mattaya, you're
1:02:15
gonna like this one from Chris Leadbetter. At Chris Ledbetter, I might be
1:02:20
saying the name it's spelled lead Better, but I would always I hope,
1:02:23
I hope they were lead producers at whatever he was. He was working in
1:02:28
a lead production facility of sorts, Tom, because he was working as a
1:02:32
trapper at a clay shooting facility. Jesus Christ, he's a lead farmer,
1:02:37
motherfucker. He was running around like ahead of his chicken, insuring traps were
1:02:42
restocked with clays and then working the traps for shooters and setting them up and
1:02:45
closing down the facility with traps in different plays each day, so shooters had
1:02:50
variety. So that's a great job. It is a great job. But
1:02:54
you know what, it'd be great if they like some me and you were
1:02:57
shown up just with our shotguns to you know, to compete or whatever.
1:03:00
But you know full well the kind of people that go clay pitch and shoot
1:03:05
well if he depends on where he is, but you're going to get a
1:03:07
lot of oh boy, boy is that you know? You know? And
1:03:12
and not for nothing as well. What I like is the bit at the
1:03:15
end of the day when everybody goes home, that you lift the entire trap
1:03:19
and put it somewhere else so that people don't expect it. So like it's
1:03:22
not just like constantly coming from the right, from the right, from yeah
1:03:24
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah that it's like, you know,
1:03:28
this one coming you prick. There's a great one called the Lazy Dog
1:03:31
Shooting Shooting Gallery. I guess he is an indoor shooting place. But as
1:03:36
well, just back maybe five miles back the road here and I'd love to
1:03:39
bring you back there. But they do exactly that, and they have they
1:03:42
have a crossbow range, they have everything. They have the knon ones that
1:03:45
will actually light up during the night, so you think you're firing tracers,
1:03:49
you know what I mean over the force. Yeah, but yeah, I
1:03:52
mean, hell of a job for a kid Todd, for the wee guys
1:03:54
that have to run around setting all this up. When we were just busting
1:03:59
clays and ask one Tom this one. This one unlocked the core memory in
1:04:02
me. Here for Kristen Larkin who says that spend the summer Stuke and haybills
1:04:10
stupen, but that's that's absolutely a thing, and then making sure they're nots
1:04:13
in, et cetera. And then she goes on to say that she made
1:04:15
the mistake of wearing shorts when working with the Bails, and that just triggered
1:04:18
me. I was like, never that, Yeah, you do that the
1:04:24
one time. I can tell you that much. Says, you do it
1:04:27
one time and one time alone, because that is no kind of fun when
1:04:30
you get a rub of a dried out tassel that's after getting picked up inside
1:04:33
the bill. Oh brutal. Oh and look at that. Look at that,
1:04:40
Tom, Look at the fun that we can have when people comment on
1:04:43
our social media channels to do more of it. Quite frankly love it.
1:04:46
We could take up half the show with your stuff. To be honest,
1:04:49
we might just to tell you that much. If you want to comment on
1:04:51
our social media channels, you can find us on Instagram and Twitter at Tom
1:04:56
and Jerry's Show, A and D. Come in Jerry Show, not the
1:05:00
wee Little Squiggle or you get me at Jerry McBride, him at Tom on
1:05:04
score, o'many, don't bother go and looking for us on Facebook or like
1:05:08
that. We're not there, pintless really pintless. Yeah, And while you're
1:05:13
while you are listening to this, would you go ahead if it's your first
1:05:15
time, and just hit the bell or whatever the reminder the reminder icon is
1:05:18
and whatever platform you're listening to, and if you can rate it, give
1:05:21
it to top rating. It helps other people to find it and whatnot.
1:05:25
Failing that, just do a screen grab, tag us on either Instagram or
1:05:29
on Twitter and let us know where you're listening to and maybe fill in your
1:05:32
story to go with it. Let us know what in the name of Christ
1:05:36
you ended up doing when it came to a festival. What you make of
1:05:40
this new robotic gelatinous human face And do you think that they're purely making them
1:05:45
over Tokyo? For sure they are chair does not even I don't even want
1:05:48
people to well, I want to counter argument if there is one to the
1:05:53
fact that if you think of a good reason that non non writeable for synthetic
1:05:58
human skin, please let it know. There is more to the point.
1:06:01
If you went to the day trip to Tip and you help a young Monahan
1:06:05
man find his bearings after falling on the ground. Thank you. Let us
1:06:10
know all the comments and camping. Are you dipping your tone it? Or
1:06:15
do you go full hog? Just bring a good jacket and hope for the
1:06:19
best. Yeah, who's to say? Who to say? Tom? I
1:06:24
gotta tell you I'm gonna go drinking American on nine o'clock at night because I
1:06:29
want to an ivy and fit it in. None of this rubbish. You
1:06:31
can't go cold turkey off with Gaffy, no way. All right, good
1:06:36
stuff, good times, good look, hell look