Latest / Mommywood / Season 1 Catch Up Episode with Emily and Cecilia

Transcript

Season 1 Catch Up Episode with Emily and Cecilia · Mommywood

0:00
Mom. Hey, I'm your host.
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Emily V. I'm an actor teacher, and a new
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mom. Once my daughter arrived, I went
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on the hunt for answers to all my questions about being a
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working actor. Mom, and what did I find?
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Well practically nothing. So here I am asking all the
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questions to try to figure out how people do it, how our
0:25
mothers balancing and not balancing Parenthood in this
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crazy. Three.
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Join me. And my amazing guess, as a, we
0:32
take a real look into the life of a working, entertainment
0:36
industry, moms everywhere, probably all of your thoughts
0:40
about this first season. I can't believe.
0:48
That I was able to talk to like, was it 12 or 13?
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I think we had 13 episodes 12. Yeah wait, 12.
0:57
And is our intro one. Yeah, everyone is so amazing.
1:01
It's so funny to listen, back to them and be like, Oh, Mae was
1:06
this little or whatever to make? Oh my God, I know, change so
1:14
quickly and talking to people. In their babies are just like a
1:19
little bit older than May. I'm like, oh, you've got it and
1:26
then wait, there baby was only 8 months when I was sorry, and I
1:31
was like, they're beyond me like they've got it and looking back,
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I'm like, God, everything is so like relative but you really
1:42
think like everyone who's ahead of you is like better off.
1:48
Yes. Yeah.
1:50
No you're just in a different place like face.
1:53
Yeah. Different Journey or point.
1:56
So, okay, we started when met with three months, right?
2:01
I think so Atlee and at most. Yeah and now she's 10.
2:06
She's 10. Just 10 months.
2:08
It's a few days so big. Okay.
2:14
So my biggest question for you is like what?
2:21
What does motherhood feel like now for you as opposed to when
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you first started this, like do you feel a little more settled
2:29
do things? Are you still feeling like it's
2:33
you know I can't get a grasp. Like where's your head at?
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Just in terms of being the mommy would?
2:41
Yeah, I feel like I'm a little more.
2:48
Little more have a grasp on things at the moment getting
2:55
her. More scheduled was a huge help.
3:00
Yeah, it's like okay, she takes two naps a day.
3:04
This is and we've, I think we're the only people that have used
3:11
an app to track things this long like where, wow, tracking, we
3:18
Stop. Since my mom was visiting and
3:21
we, we did our first overnight for a wedding and I was like we
3:28
can use this to like at least stop tracking her feeding and
3:33
diapers, like she's doing that. I'd still track her.
3:37
So we just stopped tracking that like this past week frequency
3:45
because everyone else is like, oh we gave it like A few months
3:49
at Max, I do still track her sleep just because I'm like, I
3:53
don't know if she slept 20 minutes or 2 hours like I have,
3:57
no, I just can't. So that is.
4:01
But to answer your actual question I think, yeah, having a
4:11
schedule has really helped and I do feel like she's more of Like
4:19
her her person like she's yeah, she's met.
4:24
So it's fun to see her personality and I'll say it's
4:30
still I was telling my mom. This today we're at the park
4:33
with her and I was like gonna cry.
4:36
I was like I still I just can't believe she's mine.
4:40
I know I think just like this because nannying and watching so
4:45
many other kids to I'm like I legitimately I'm like shoot have
4:51
a hard time. Being like she is mine.
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I'm not just watching her and definitely.
4:59
Yeah, she belongs to me. I created her, which is still
5:04
why I have such a heart. I, I think part of that besides
5:08
like, the nannying and already having watched so many kids
5:12
being like, that's why? During my her birth, like not
5:20
having the seeing her come out, what is still really hard?
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And I hate like having to say it because I feel like I'm I don't
5:34
want to be like - towards like the birth, but I'm like, and
5:41
yes, of course. It's she's healthy and
5:43
everything's fine. And my recovery was fine.
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And things could have been way worse and but, yeah, it's still
5:53
right. I feel the same, I grant, I was
5:58
awake when both of them were pulled out, but the, after
6:01
experience, for both was, So horrible and I talk about it to
6:05
my therapist all the time I Journal about it for forever and
6:08
I'm like, I hate that this beautiful thing.
6:13
My healthy kids, whatever feels like for me.
6:17
There's a cloud around it still and I don't want to carry that
6:21
cloud into when they get older and like asked about it.
6:24
And I'm telling the story and I'm like, you know, it's like
6:29
it's just so hard that like the most beautiful day, It's also
6:34
like a really dark day. Yeah.
6:38
And it's just living in that that Paradox all the time
6:42
because you really went through it.
6:45
Like you got some o these kids, they're trying to kill me from
6:51
day one. I do I feel that it's hard.
6:57
I could be his eyes. It's like You going into?
7:05
Birth. Like when you get pregnant the
7:08
whole time, you think about birth and whether you think you
7:12
have expectations or not they're there, right?
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And as soon as they're not met, you immediately feel like you
7:20
failed which is so hard to copy exactly because you would never
7:28
look at your friend who gave birth and how to less than
7:31
experience and tell them that their experience was not.
7:36
Beautiful, and amazing. And look at all this stuff that
7:39
you did still like. Yeah, for sure.
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It's, it is crazy. What we've?
7:46
What I know this is actually really fucking insane.
7:51
And why don't people talk about it more?
7:54
I don't, I don't want all day long, if anybody wants yeah,
8:00
dude, I it's so fucking insane. The things that our bodies do.
8:08
Mhm. Yeah.
8:11
And go ahead. Yeah.
8:12
And like you said, even if you don't think you have
8:14
expectations I really didn't think I had any, my whole thing
8:19
we like barely. Did a birth plan.
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Like last minute I was like, that's something we actually
8:25
should do and even and we were very just like, get her out safe
8:30
again, both of us safe, like, whatever you have to do.
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We weren't I I'd say the one and I went in knowing like you can
8:41
ask questions, you can take your time, you can like all the
8:46
things where you're like, oh I'll just do whatever they say.
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I knew that I could ask questions I could say no to
8:52
anything and I think that's why I'm also so mad at myself
8:57
because the one thing that I knew I didn't want happened, not
9:03
this you just them That fully bulb thing was what I want and I
9:11
I'll never know for sure but I'm pretty certain that.
9:16
That's why everything went in a certain direction because I
9:20
don't think they did it correctly.
9:23
They never. Oh yeah, dude.
9:25
If they were supposed to do and I was just like, okay, and and I
9:30
knew that it was supposed to be something else.
9:32
And I didn't even think to be like, hey, aren't you supposed
9:35
to be like, Doing something pulling it out a little.
9:40
But, and that being said, I would now because I'll be
9:45
honest, I was kind of like judgy towards people who have doulas
9:51
because I was like, that's just like an expensive friend.
9:54
Yeah, asshole. But now, I'm like, hmm.
9:58
I get it even knowing that, like, you can say these things
10:03
and then still not doing it. Like And even having pressed in
10:08
there and knowing that he could do both of us were like okay,
10:12
yeah, yeah, I know it's so weird because that's the same way with
10:16
Skylar is like I was hours into labor before we had a nurse come
10:24
in and actually be like you should have had this baby by.
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Now, here's all the things we're going to start doing and I was
10:30
like what? Yeah, she was like why aren't
10:34
they having you rocking back? And Fourth, why are you
10:36
switching up your position? Like why aren't you like
10:38
actively moving to get this baby engaged?
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And I don't want 28 hours in and she's finally comes in.
10:45
I'm like, oh my god. Wow, wow.
10:52
Yeah. And then of course it turns, you
10:54
know, like into as soon as I throw the word emergency and
10:57
their your ears can't hear anything except for just, get
11:00
the baby out and make sure we're safe.
11:02
So like who knows? If anything.
11:05
Have been prevented or changed because as soon as they make you
11:09
feel like it's dire I'm not I'm no longer or advocating with
11:13
anybody I'm like get it get it done then.
11:15
Yeah yeah and it's funny because like and I know like right now I
11:20
have everyone uses the word. I feel like people use the word
11:27
trauma very Loosely and I don't want to use it Loosely and I
11:32
feel like it for anybody is very dramatic.
11:39
But I feel personally like, I don't want to say it was
11:42
traumatic because it was really only like three minutes of my
11:47
life that I was scared. Yeah.
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That's like those three minutes. We're big also minutes.
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I'm yes, I feel that so hard and the one thing I remember my mom
12:00
saying to Garrett before we left because Skylar was people this.
12:04
Yes. As she was like, she looked at
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him and she goes even if everything goes Perfectly.
12:09
It's going to be a traumatic event and I was like, because I
12:16
supposed to hear that. Ma'am.
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But, you know, I wish you would have told that to me and I wish
12:23
you would have told that to me before I had kids because it's
12:26
true, like, whether it's a beautiful, it can be perfect and
12:30
it can be so beautiful. But just knowing outside of
12:35
like, all of the feelings your body adjust It's went through
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something hard so like just meant that mental prep.
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I feel would have helped me out more.
12:47
But yeah, I have a hard time saying that I had to traumatic
12:52
births because you do you go immediately to justifying?
12:56
Well, it was only this and I really wasn't that bad and like
13:02
and it's like nobody here. Yeah, yeah.
13:04
Be like they're here and there, we're both.
13:09
We're all healthy now like we're all healthy.
13:11
We all but that's Not the point and it's not saying like of
13:17
course we're more than grateful and obviously blessed that
13:23
everyone is still here and healthy but that doesn't doesn't
13:28
make it. Not have happened.
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Had yeah exactly. And that's not how your body
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remembers it. Like that's a biggest thing that
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I've been working through his. Like whether I mentally think
13:41
one thing or not, my body is holding.
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On to ya big things. So yeah, give ourselves Grace.
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Yeah. I'm hearing other people's birth
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stories and things I'm just like Another thing that people don't
14:01
talk about much is like how hard it is to make like parent
14:05
friend, my God, I was worried because I was like, I don't
14:10
know. Anyone who has kids turns out.
14:14
I know everyone who has kids i-it's so I know them.
14:18
Now, I felt like, with Skyler. I've nobody, I still the amount
14:23
of guilt I carry around that she's almost 3 and doesn't have
14:26
friends yet. This poor girl, She just she's
14:31
very thoughtful, she's so social.
14:34
But she starts school in September.
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So she was with some friends. I know, I know.
14:41
We just got the acceptance email, and I already cried.
14:45
I'm so, how is this possible? Oh, that's amazing.
14:51
That's okay. So now talking about the podcast
14:58
and like after like talking to all these people, I'm not gonna
15:02
lie and I'm not going to sugarcoat.
15:04
It money makes a difference. Oh, a huge difference.
15:07
I do really different. The only thing I can think that
15:14
differentiate I mean I'm sure there's others but that's one it
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causes more like having family nearby.
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Yes it those were my two biggest.
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Takeaways is having your like having a really good support
15:31
system, down the road, five minutes away, 20 minutes away so
15:37
helpful. And yes how much money you are
15:40
able to bring. In alleviates so much stress, so
15:44
much. Imagine if we could have
15:46
afforded a night nurse and like we were sleeping from the get-go
15:50
like I cannot even imagine what that would have done for my
15:54
postpartum depression. I can't even imagine it.
15:57
Would I have had it? Because I honestly don't know.
16:01
Yeah. Yeah I mean right?
16:03
Because sleep is such a huge, huge thing at a huge deficit.
16:11
Of that at the at the very beginning.
16:14
I mean she's been very luck out. She's a very easy baby and she's
16:21
been very like when she's ready to like move on to things.
16:26
It's pretty obvious like she won't.
16:30
She was just too big for her bassinet and like nursing
16:35
breastfeeding and like she just kind of like wound.
16:38
Yeah, off. Which I will say, since we are
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talking about being in the business and being a parent, I
16:49
did make the choice to stop breastfeeding because of a job.
16:54
I got, I got this is, I mean now it's kind of embarrassing but I
17:01
got hired by kybella. It's I mean, I don't know if
17:09
they're the ones we need to talk about it.
17:11
It's yeah, the chin. Yes under to I'm still numb but
17:19
I think it's going to be great. I've had my second treatment
17:23
they've actually okay. I'll try to be cohesive.
17:27
So they hired me. When I went to the original
17:33
edition, of course, I was like, this is so rude.
17:37
I was like, but I kind of want it but I don't want them to use
17:43
my images really because that's kind of embarrassing.
17:46
But when I went to the audition on the form, it was like, are
17:50
you breastfeeding? So that was obviously a thing.
17:53
And I was like, yes I am. And they were asking about it
17:56
and I was like, really, I'm only doing very little like once in
18:00
the morning Once a Night. And really, she's not doing much
18:04
anyway. So I was like I am willing to
18:07
stop breastfeeding and then they hired me and I had to be done to
18:14
get the treatment, and she was like, 8 months and in my head
18:20
before she was born, I was planning on doing six months and
18:23
I don't even know. These numbers are so arbitrary.
18:26
I don't even know why I came up with that but it was like eight
18:29
months and she had too much wind off anyway and then Now, they,
18:38
they have decided that they aren't moving forward with like
18:41
the pictures like of me, but they're still gonna continue
18:45
doing the giving me, the, how letting me have the treatments
18:49
and I'm like, okay, fine. But I don't get paid as much
18:54
shoot, of course. Yeah.
18:55
Alright, so now I have that guilt of like, did I make the
18:58
right choice? Should I have like, kept tried
19:01
to keep breastfeeding? But like you know, how did you
19:06
feel? Did you notice any change to
19:11
like your mood or anything when you were winning?
19:15
No, I think it was how I was with Sky to.
19:19
I think we're supposed to be her.
19:20
I don't. Yes, guy was the same way.
19:23
She just I could one couldn't keep up with how much she wanted
19:26
to eat and I had to stop at six months because she at some point
19:30
because she wasn't actually like getting enough, she just didn't
19:33
want to eat. Oh yeah she wasn't eating she
19:37
would do like 10 minutes and I'm like she was like I'm bored and
19:41
I got to do and you're not giving me enough.
19:42
I got to do other things. And so I was like I don't know
19:47
yeah but with Frankie I had to stop because I noticed any time
19:52
it was time to pump or feed him I would just rage like my body
19:58
would immediately be angry and as soon as I stop I was totally
20:02
fine. And that was so weird.
20:06
Yeah, it was so weird. That is yeah, another thing
20:10
learning like, everything is normal.
20:13
Nothing's weird, everything's weird, nothing's normal.
20:17
It's all everyone had all kind of stressing about the same
20:20
stuff, I think. That's one of the things that
20:22
comforted me doing this podcast is, like being in the background
20:26
listening to the epic episodes. I was just like, we're all out
20:30
here. Just stressed about the same
20:32
shit like everybody is out here just like, hoping they're doing
20:36
it. Well, you would hope everybody
20:38
at Everybody. We talk to.
20:40
Yeah, I talked to her just brimming with a good jobs.
20:43
Yeah. And they are, and they are.
20:46
These are that. That was really comforting, I
20:51
think. Yeah, yeah.
20:53
It seems like the logistics are obviously is not going to be
20:58
hard to. Well, I don't want to say,
21:00
obviously, it's not gonna be hard to love your baby because
21:03
then you also have postpartum stuff.
21:06
So you really never know, I shouldn't even say that, but It
21:10
seems like, besides, that stuff Logistics are really where it's
21:18
where? Yeah, everything is kind of,
21:21
like, well, I do this, and then I do this and then, like, that's
21:26
the part that's hard to figure out.
21:30
Yeah, it's the mental load, but that really takes a toll.
21:35
I feel ya where you're just like, constantly doing a List in
21:40
your head and like rearranging schedules and rearranging eating
21:46
and naps. And when I'm going to soon as
21:49
they get one thing down, it's time for them to switch you're
21:53
just like okay. Yeah.
21:57
And then you have that one conversation, the first time the
21:59
baby sleep for like 5 to 6 hours, straight and you and your
22:02
partner, wake up the next day and you're like, okay, what did
22:05
we do? The room was at 64 degrees and
22:07
we wrapped her in a blanket like this.
22:09
And like have that constant like these were the things that made
22:13
it happen. Yeah.
22:14
Yeah yeah yeah. And it's funny because I think
22:18
we we talked about this maybe and maybe in the intro episode
22:24
or maybe just at some point, I don't know.
22:26
But how it is hard to you have to really remember to enjoy the
22:36
moments as they come because A hearing somebody say when like
22:43
their kids a teenager like you're going to miss the baby
22:45
phase and I think Sarah marshman was talking about it where it's
22:49
like, that's not helpful to me right now.
22:52
Yeah. Right now I can sucks.
22:54
Yeah. And yeah, I'm going to I'm, of
22:57
course, going for because I'm gonna babies when I'm 70.
23:02
I'm but I'm 35 and I am tired. Yeah.
23:08
I just Uh, also that was so nice.
23:12
Having my mom here because I did not wake up with her.
23:16
I mean I always wake up at the same time that may wakes up but
23:20
it was nice. Getting to like just still a
23:22
bad. Yes, a dream.
23:26
I can't stay up past like nine though.
23:29
No, yeah. I'm I I'm fully embracing this
23:35
slower lifestyle like bed by 9:30.
23:38
A bit. Yeah.
23:39
Yeah, five, a friend from St. Louis though, sent me a message
23:53
and she is getting into auditioning for commercials in
23:57
St. Louis.
23:59
And like, her set up and was asking about Lighting and stuff.
24:05
And I was as so happy that and like love that, she's also
24:13
getting back into it because she her and her husband were both
24:19
musical theater Majors both moved to New York, both left New
24:22
York and moved back to st. Louis, and wanted to start a
24:26
family solid solid choice, but she's still Like teaches it
24:36
alike and is still still has it as part of her life.
24:41
Yeah. So that's really nice.
24:43
Oh, my God, also, you painted your wall for your setup.
24:50
Yeah. Meaning Preston.
24:52
Well, yeah. You guys have does it make it
24:55
easier? It makes it a lot easier that.
24:59
Okay, so that is gues going to like the business part of it.
25:04
That um, the setting up for self tapes, we had it, but we had a
25:11
very quick setup, but it was in her then.
25:16
So we were able to do that for the first three to four, like,
25:22
four-ish months. Yeah.
25:23
And that was fine. And then, The room was not and
25:29
then obviously she went in there and then we moved everything.
25:36
Then we were still doing it in there for a while, and hanging
25:40
the sheet. And then we're like this isn't
25:43
working. Because if she needs to nap,
25:44
she's in here. And if we're doing it while
25:47
she's napping or while she's sleeping, like there's just no
25:51
way. So we just, yeah, we painted, we
25:55
have a big, we have an empty wall.
25:59
That I kept being like, Oh, we should like hang stuff, we ended
26:03
up Preston painted it. More like, it's an archway.
26:07
So it looks actually like kind of cute.
26:10
Yeah. Um, and we had all of our
26:15
equipment, just in front of that wall until like a week ago or
26:22
something, we just started putting it away each time.
26:26
So we're putting in the closet and then taking it out which is
26:30
still like takes a tiny bit more time, but But it's super easy.
26:36
We don't really have to move. Anything away from that wall,
26:41
nice hearing that people have like when Aaron Ross was talking
26:46
about her, you know, moving into a house and Atlanta making
26:51
Atlanta sound real, good that they have a room to do a whole
26:58
lot. Sounds awesome.
27:02
I know. That's my biggest thing is I'm
27:04
like, I'm Getting more and more back into it.
27:07
And I, I I don't my last, my last self tape was in the
27:14
apartment. I have not done any in this new
27:16
house. I'm like, I don't know where how
27:20
it's easier. I think it's easier than yeah.
27:24
Why? No it is.
27:25
It's literally me being like, I'm so I'm scared.
27:30
I mean, that's a big part of it if you're so, well, then asking
27:36
you, because I don't even remember when you like, Kind of
27:44
took a break and that know ya know when you started like you
27:51
started a company like I'm so tired.
27:56
I think about that. Every once in a while.
27:58
I'm like as I'm texting you like the stupidest questions and
28:03
you're like responding and I'm like Emily.
28:06
She has an act like she does actual things, leave her alone.
28:11
This isn't that girl Thing, the things that your text miracle, I
28:15
don't really know when I decided to take a break break because I
28:19
never really told anybody I was taking a break, except for like
28:22
myself. Yeah.
28:26
But I probably fully started. When one covid hit because like
28:34
one covid hit, I was already pregnant.
28:36
So it was just like well, so you had been like actively
28:39
auditioning until then until then yeah, okay.
28:44
And I started LCC in 20. Well, I started LCC and probably
28:48
2017 but I quit all of my other jobs in 2018 and did it like
28:53
full-time then? How did you just start your own
28:56
company? How does that even mean why?
29:01
That is I like you so much and I'm like, I really need to sit
29:07
down and figure it out because I don't know, like what I don't
29:12
know, the ending might have helped if I filed an LLC to make
29:16
it like official, and my pay taxes in 2018 January, at the
29:22
end of 2018. January, 2019.
29:24
I was like, officially a recognized company, not like a
29:28
freelancer. I mean that's impressive say it
29:34
is I have a really hard time. Yeah it is when it's yourself,
29:38
don't receive it because it's huge and especially that I just
29:49
I didn't even realize it was that like new grease down
29:54
because what we're doing today jobs like before that then um, I
29:59
was and System at a production company.
30:02
All right, then and nannying since I got to La so I'm a need
30:07
that was really like what I would have called my fate job.
30:10
And then I was a part-time assistant for a production
30:13
company and then for an actress and that's kind of what sparked
30:17
the idea because what I was assisting her, she was getting
30:21
ready to launch a Blog and that meant like the Instagram and
30:25
everything for that blog. And so I really was like
30:29
figuring all that out for her and then as that was going on
30:34
it's just was like, more and more people were asking like my
30:38
advice on how to do it and I took, I don't know, maybe three
30:44
or four classes online just whatever and then there was like
30:51
I guess it was end of 2017 when a non-profit hired me to do it
30:59
and I was like, I could probably figure this out full time and so
31:04
I spent 2018 like trying to figure out if I could, while I
31:07
was still nannying for a family and then the end of 2018, I told
31:13
them, I would not, I was not going to come back.
31:17
Yeah, so it is pretty, it's pretty new but like, I've been
31:22
doing that kind of work since probably 2016.
31:26
Well, yeah. Because then, in my head, I'm
31:27
like, wait, is 2023? I know.
31:32
It's not but so it is so it was kind of something that you
31:38
didn't set out to know what you luck.
31:43
You got to like, learn it. Yeah, Garrett, my started
31:47
getting really worked out a like, yeah.
31:51
We were Trying to figure out because we both knew we wanted
31:54
to be parents, right? We both knew we were in the
31:56
entertainment industry and so and he more on the production
32:01
side, meaning he works. 12 to 15 hour days a week Monday through
32:08
Friday or at least back then and now it's more flexible.
32:12
But so the thought was really like, we know what both of
32:16
ourselves salaries of the time, we will not be able to afford
32:21
childcare. So that's kind of what sparked
32:26
it as I was just like, I want to be in charge of my schedule
32:29
because I want to take care of my kids and I want to audition
32:33
and I Don't want to feel like I'm letting other people down if
32:36
I have this other job kind of thing.
32:40
So that's what like motivated me to start figuring something out.
32:46
Yeah, yeah, that seems to be What a lot of moms have been
32:52
doing and saying my Spade like Marla and Hannah Merlot sokoloff
33:01
and Hannah Hines and an ALICE Walker like people who because
33:07
especially now it's like you I mean we really can't nobody
33:11
really just makes a living on acting just act.
33:16
I mean okay sure I'm sure some do.
33:19
Ngratulations do so happy for you.
33:23
Oh, happy birthday. One of my listening back to the
33:27
episodes. I feel like I was always
33:30
stumbling over questions because I didn't want them to come
33:36
across like rude or a certain way which note to self, write
33:44
them down verbatim for them. You won't be as time.
33:49
The next one either obviously for the big thing.
33:52
Like you are. So so so you were such a baby
33:54
mama yourself. Like it's true.
33:57
Yeah, yeah. See, give me yourself Grace.
34:01
Yeah, I forget. Um, but yeah, we're because a
34:08
lot of times I'm like, I mean, I can't ask people how much money
34:14
they have or make, but the like I won't do that.
34:20
But also like, I'm very curious. I say we I wish it was talked
34:27
about more especially in the entertainment industry.
34:30
Do you know that people are more willing to like talk about sex?
34:33
I literally anything else before they talk about money.
34:35
Yeah. Well then I will say to be very
34:39
honest, this is how I am keeping a roof over our head and this is
34:44
how I am providing food and shelter for my baby.
34:51
First of all, luckily, Ping was free.
34:55
I think if I have another one, I will do that for a year.
35:00
If it's, if it works out the same way, because it's free.
35:04
But I am I work. I teach at two schools.
35:13
I teach musical theater at two different places.
35:17
I now have a third place that I teach.
35:20
I do still Nanny babysit, I guess for one or two families
35:30
that I like, and we also get help from The government I mean
35:47
without and Preston, does voice a he does audiobooks. and, We
35:56
get acting jobs here and there, but that's, that is how we I.
36:04
Oh, I also really love looking at by nothing.
36:10
Yes. On everything in this house is
36:14
by noting her whole wardrobe. Oh yeah.
36:20
I I don't think, I don't think I've bought any clothes for
36:24
Frankie yet. I don't think.
36:26
I have purchased any for him since he's been born.
36:29
He's what 13, almost 14 months now.
36:33
Yeah, I've bought a few things for me, but like maybe plain
36:41
onesies because everything else was just like so cute.
36:44
She needed something plain, but yeah, yeah, yeah, me downs.
36:50
I've gotten Alice has given me so many clothes.
36:56
From her daughter. And it's I'm so happy.
37:02
You have next time you should come over.
37:04
You should shop Skylar's buckets.
37:08
So much out there. I've also gotten a lot of
37:11
formula from the Bible. Oh, I love like, I haven't
37:17
opened the yeah, whatever. And they.
37:22
Yeah, I had a friend drop-off point three months worth of
37:24
formula because her Our baby ended up being allergic to
37:28
whatever kind that she had and she was like, we have so much.
37:32
So yeah. And it's nice.
37:34
A nice way to like, get rid of stuff too.
37:37
Yeah, like because not everything is worth like selling
37:41
like nobody's going to come by this guitarist and I have, I
37:48
nothing groups. Find nothing group Searcher
37:51
search your area. Literally just type in on
37:53
Facebook by nothing your area. Join it.
37:57
It's the things that we've gotten off of that group are
38:01
because we have a backyard. Now, it's every single thing in
38:05
the backyard. We have not paid for it, is come
38:07
from by nothing and we have a two-story Playhouse out there.
38:10
I was going to say something at home.
38:13
Spiro dollars zero wait. I did have one more income e
38:21
thing that I can't remember. Oh and we also have a financial
38:28
planner that I ask questions to yes all the time if you need to
38:34
send me a DM and I will earn email or whatever and I will let
38:39
you know because she's I love her.
38:41
She's great. Yeah I'll so when I have LTC
38:47
which is my full income now, what?
38:49
But when I was first starting I nanny for two families and then
38:54
I was a personal assistant and was doing LCC stuff and my first
38:59
year 2018, I made twelve thousand dollars to full year
39:03
for lccc. That's it.
39:05
That's amazing though. Amazing for her, but this year,
39:10
and I'm on track to make 84. So yeah, it's insane.
39:16
So my income covers our rent for the house and that It's all I
39:24
can do but also are think I'm covers like everything else and
39:29
also, you're really good. Like I've seen that calendar
39:33
behind you and you have like a budget thing where you're like,
39:36
saving for whatever. Yeah, well, you're and like,
39:41
you're good at like putting when I asked you about, like other
39:45
things, and you were like, well, we saved.
39:47
And we saved for five years and I was like, oh yeah.
39:51
So, that's the other thing is we do have a financial advisors,
39:55
well, but Garrett Garrett is so he grew up in a financial
40:02
household. So he's just so aware of it and
40:04
he's constantly moving and playing and thinking about
40:09
things. So, that is also, you know, it
40:11
helps to have somebody in your life who's just financially
40:14
aware. I've always been financially
40:17
aware because I I didn't come from a poor family, but I came
40:23
from a big family, meaning from a very young age.
40:27
If I wanted things that was on me to get them.
40:30
So it's not, I've always been aware of budgets and just like,
40:34
saving and doing all that, but it's helps to have somebody like
40:38
in your circle, who can really. Yeah, like lay things out and
40:43
say, you know, here's how to think about whatever.
40:46
Here's how to take, what your the income you do have and Like
40:50
make it work for you kind of thing.
40:52
Yeah, those are two major major nice things.
40:57
Neither of us are like real good at it.
41:02
We're good. Like, we're both not like super
41:06
spendy or anything but um, but we do have separate accounts to
41:14
we have. Well, we have Preston's account
41:17
and I have access because, when we first got Married.
41:20
I was very gung-ho about. We should pay rent, and
41:24
groceries and everything. That's both of us should be from
41:27
one account. And that did not work work out.
41:32
It just didn't because I wasn't like, putting enough of mine in.
41:40
And then it was just like messy. So, we have his and then I have
41:45
mine. And then we also have an I tend
41:49
to Like do all the like, by the extra.
41:55
Yeah. But um, and like talking to the
41:59
financial advisor at least like makes you feel better.
42:01
If like, okay, we have like, retirement stuff happening, we
42:08
have life, insurance stuff happening, those are smart
42:13
things that like even I feel like I'm very like don't know
42:19
anything and that type of stuff freaks me out because I don't
42:22
even embarrassed. How little?
42:25
I know I can have some more money.
42:26
I wouldn't be less happy. I'll tell you that much.
42:29
Yeah, I just don't want to stress about paying a babysitter
42:33
three days a week. Oh yeah.
42:36
Oh that's white. That's also how we're surviving
42:40
is. We've never paid for it.
42:42
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, yeah I think that's a big thing.
42:45
We Mentioned to I don't I honestly don't know how people
42:50
because what I would pay someone even if it was like like on the
42:56
low and which I think like the minimum I would pay someone as a
42:59
babysitter would be $20. And that seems like we're gonna
43:05
like jump at the chance to come baby.
43:10
So but then I don't make much more for my hourly pay.
43:16
Hiii. I make like at the one place I
43:20
work that is like That I teach at, I is 27.
43:27
Yeah. Yeah, we have a babysitter
43:29
enough. Come twice a week for three
43:32
hours and and that only started. Yeah.
43:38
Pretty recently for you pretty recently because my work was
43:41
just too. I mean, it started because I
43:45
just reached a breaking point. I looked at Garrett, I was like
43:48
because I'm fully taking care of two kids and running the
43:52
business. Like I feel like I'm never
43:54
working and always working and it was miserable.
44:00
Yeah, but that's partly why we were able to save so much
44:04
because I was home all the time with the kids and still working
44:09
a full-time job. So yeah, that saved us.
44:14
That saved us a lot, a lot of money.
44:17
So it's well I feel like Preston's probably there. now
44:23
where he's like, because he Can't work while he while he's
44:30
with her and I get die. When I leave is when I'm making
44:34
money. And when he's here, he can't
44:37
make money because she's, he can't record in a quiet space.
44:42
If she's awake especially now that she's older and not just
44:46
like sitting chair and Swinging all day.
44:49
You know, she's she needs to be stimulated.
44:51
Now that's on Mike Frankie, I love you dearly, but he's at
44:55
that age where he just wants to hang out.
44:57
Nowt. So I'm like oh I guess my my my
45:01
work hours are they're sleeping hours is what I'm at right now.
45:06
Another thing, I'll say one more thing because I know I've been
45:09
talking forever but but physically, I still am.
45:16
So amazed that there are a mom's parents, dad's whatever that
45:25
still work out, as much as they do and like, look good, like I
45:33
think I'd creepily posted a thing about Luckily I was like
45:36
damn damn it given these people were already.
45:40
She was already in amazing shape and like You know, obviously
45:47
it's probably easier to get back in to amazing shape if you were
45:51
already there. But As a person who used to work
45:59
out at like almost at least an hour daily.
46:05
Thinking of it now I'm like, oh my God, I don't know hate
46:09
working out for like what am I doing?
46:13
And I have been working out but it is hard.
46:22
I know. I know, I know I know like to be
46:27
motivated. like, Now, I feel like it's I mean, don't get me
46:37
wrong. I want to look good.
46:39
There is a bit of my like disordered eating actress past
46:45
that's like still which I'm very On Solid ground for a long time,
46:51
but That there I'm not going to lie, there's a so I'm going back
46:56
home in June for for me, his birthday and my sister has a
47:02
pool and I'm inviting people for her birthday and I am like oh
47:08
maybe I should. And I'm like no.
47:13
Yeah I know it's been the hardest thing for me is the body
47:19
changes and I just did not. Want it to be hard for me.
47:24
And man, I just you feel I I at least feel like so for it, I
47:35
don't know this body, I've never been this body and it's like a
47:41
constant balance of Trying to embrace what my body did for me
47:48
and and just letting myself listen to what it needs and at
47:54
the same time being like I wish I could just be one of those
47:58
moms that started working out right when they got cleared and
48:04
now they're their pre. And I'm like, why do I want to
48:07
be pre baby? I'm not, I'm not looking to go.
48:11
Yeah, all I'm trying to do is go we're looking at also like and
48:18
there is a it's hard. It's the Paradox again where
48:24
it's two things at once, where it's like, I don't need to look
48:28
like I didn't have a baby, I had a baby and it's amazing.
48:31
And this is what my body did. But also like, I want to look
48:34
hot in this bikini, I don't want to have to wear a mom, one piece
48:39
that sucks in my stomach. And you know what's insane is I
48:42
remember my older sister after she had her second because my
48:46
wedding happened a few months after her second and she was so
48:50
sad about Out the way that she was like going to look in her
48:54
bridesmaids dress. And I just remember looking at
48:56
her and being like, you are so beautiful.
49:00
Like, I don't understand you, I was just like, can you please
49:06
see what I'm seeing? Which is just like, you've had
49:08
these two amazing in that, and I'm like, why can't I fucking
49:12
where am I? Where is she?
49:13
Where was that girl for this girl?
49:15
Hello, I know it's so much easier to say it to other
49:19
people. Yeah.
49:22
But like, yeah, it's it's the paradoxes and the giving us
49:32
giving ourselves Grace is really, that's what we're taking
49:35
into season two. And with that, I'm just getting
49:40
my God, Garrett and Preston are probably just like right off the
49:46
zombie. I know.
49:50
Not dinner made, I'm hungry. Yeah, also really helps to have
49:55
a really good partner, I think. Oh, Lucky Preston.
49:59
I don't know how I would eat without Preston.
50:03
Hmm, that was probably one of my favorite things about having
50:06
Keeley and Kaiser's, just like seeing a few people who are so
50:11
invested in each other's acting Journeys and their family.
50:15
They're so sweet to each other to so.
50:19
Oh. So you and their God, so
50:22
beautiful. I know their kids aren't going
50:27
to just waste Yeah, it's just wild.
50:34
Oh man. Okay, you're doing great, you're
50:38
doing so good. I hope you.
50:40
I hope you receive that. Thank you.
50:43
Yes. Thank you.
50:45
Wow. Miss Emily.
50:47
I'll see you before season 2, but I'll say it for this sound
50:51
bite. At the end of the episode.
50:53
I'll see you and season, dude. Special.
50:58
Thank you to my producer, Cecilia trip with Laurel Canyon
51:03
creative and thank you to Edith Mudge for my theme music and
51:09
don't forget to follow mommy would podcast on Instagram and
51:14
Tick-Tock and please leave a nice review and a few Stars
51:20
while you're at it and I hope you enjoyed this episode of
51:24
mommy would and take care.