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What is CUSHIONING? · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Good morning, Felicia. You're on the air.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: Hi, guys.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hey, what's up?
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: Well, I've been watching Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and,
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: you know, watching Taylor, Frankie Paul navigate all those, you know,
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: situationships and, you know, that he... you know, actually convinced
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: me that having a backup person is kind of smart,
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: you know?
• 0:20
  Speaker 4: Well, she had kind of two backup people.
• 0:22
  Speaker 5: She has like three, like she has her baby daddy.
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: She's juggling three. A fiance, right? She was engaged.
• 0:28
  Speaker 5: Yeah, two of the guys from The Bachelor.
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: And then she slept with her ex while she was engaged.
• 0:33
  Speaker 4: And then Ben the artist. And then Ben the artist.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: So she's convinced you.
• 0:37
  Speaker 5: To do what?
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: I'm not doing anything like that. But, you know, I
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: love my boyfriend. We're doing good. Like, I don't want
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: to leave him. But, like, just knowing, you know, the
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: relationship could end. So it's nice to, you know, have
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: somebody as a backup. You know, I don't flirt with them.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: I don't hang out with them. I just know, you know,
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: hopefully they're around, you know, if something happens.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: Do they know that they're your backup? No.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: No, but like we're, you know, like I don't hang
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: out with them that much. It's like it's honestly my
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: like friend's brother.
• 1:15
  Speaker 4: So this is just something that you keep in the
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: back of your mind.
• 1:17
  Speaker 5: And so when you see whoever your friend's brother posts
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: on Instagram, you're like, yep, I'm plotting on you.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: But if he ends up getting in a relationship, but
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: you're still happy in your relationship, is there going to
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: be some sense of disappointment for you?
• 1:29
  Speaker 3: I would be sad, I guess, my insurance policy, you know,
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: is over.
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: Well, then you know what you do.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: It would be okay.
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: You've got to put in another backup. You've got to
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: go further down the string.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: So what's your reasoning for that?
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: You know, like everybody has backups for stuff. You know,
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: you have like, you know, a backup tire in your car.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: You have a backup plan. You know, you bring multiple
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: pairs of underwear on vacation. We're always planning backups. Why
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: not do it with love, right?
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: I'm not against that.
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: I mean, if you think about it that way, it
• 2:02
  Speaker 5: makes sense. But it's definitely not the right thing to do.
• 2:04
  Speaker 5: I think that this is like one of those dating terms.
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: I think this is called cushioning. Where it's like, yeah,
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: it's like you, like Vice did a whole article on it.
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: And basically it's like, it's kind of adjacent to like,
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: You're not really cheating because like, like you said, you're
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: not talking to him. You're not hanging out with him.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: You're just thinking if something were to happen, that's who
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: you would pursue.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: Okay. But let me ask you guys this. So what
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: happens if that guy gets into another relationship? Then you
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: can't like, what do you do? No, I know. But
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: then what do you, oh my God, what are you doing?
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: You're my backup. How can you get a girlfriend? How
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: can you get engaged? And the guy'd be like, what
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: do you mean I'm your backup? What are you talking about?
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: Cause he doesn't know.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: It reminds me of like girls, and I remember these
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: girls in college or later in life where they had
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: a boyfriend, but they were kind of like always keeping
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: an eye out for someone better.
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: Sure.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: That's called cushioning now.
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 2:59
  Speaker 5: It's like when you're in a relationship, but like you're
• 3:01
  Speaker 5: kind of keeping someone else warm on the sideline in
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: case your relationship falls apart.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: It's like a baseball lineup.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: Don't you think that's kind of common?
• 3:07
  Speaker 5: It's like having a roster, I guess.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: I think it's common for guys.
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: Well, I mean, that's not what Taylor Frankie Paul's doing.
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: She's just cheating. She's just being a player.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Straight up. Well, cheating. She's engaged. She was sleeping
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: with a guy. Well, she got unengaged. Yeah, she did.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: She did break it off. Spoiler alert.
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: Uh-oh.
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: Sorry. She was cheating before she got unengaged because remember earlier, like, well,
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: you cheated. She's like, I don't like to call it cheating.
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: Regardless, having that backup is having cushioning.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Hold on a second. So Felicia says this is why
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: you have a backup. Hold on. We have somebody that
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: has an opposing opinion. Hold on a second. Sky.
• 3:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Sky, you're saying what now about having a backup?
• 3:44
  Speaker 6: I'm saying no. This is why you absolutely do not
• 3:48
  Speaker 6: have a backup, okay? My boyfriend actually was my backup
• 3:53
  Speaker 6: when I was with my ex, and everything was great
• 3:55
  Speaker 6: until one of my girlfriends actually told him. And then, like, oh,
• 3:59
  Speaker 6: my God, the vibes were so bad after that. We were, like,
• 4:02
  Speaker 6: fighting for so long. He couldn't get over feeling that
• 4:06
  Speaker 6: he had just been, like, waiting on the bench.
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: Our whole relationship.
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: And then one day I came home.
• 4:11
  Speaker 6: And that man had cleared out everything he owned out
• 4:14
  Speaker 6: of my apartment and broke up with me.
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: So, yeah.
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: I mean, is that a reason not to have a
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: backup or is that a reason to tell your friends
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: to shut their mouth?
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: And to mind their business. Amen, Kyle. Come on.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: I'm with you, Kyle.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: Why would they throw you under the bus like that?
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: Because really, the backup serves your internal purposes only because
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: you're not telling the guy anything. And if you tell
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: your friends, that's a, that's a top secret.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: You can even move into like, you know, if you
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: were trying to smooth things over with your boyfriend, like, yes,
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: you were like in the back of my mind all
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: the time. But like, also the fact that we're together
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: means we were meant to be.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Okay. So Sky, we still have Felicia on the line.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: So Sky, if you had any advice, what would you say?
• 4:56
  Speaker 6: My advice is apparently telling your backup that they were
• 4:58
  Speaker 6: your backup is how you end up with no boyfriend.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Ah, you got that Felicia?
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: My backup has no idea.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: She's like, yeah, I'm taking that to the grave.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: Keep it quiet. Well, thank you both. Thank you both
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: for jumping on the air with us.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: Thanks. If you're the front person and you find out
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: that your boyfriend or girlfriend has a backup, then you
• 5:16
  Speaker 4: start to feel like the backup. You start to feel
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: like you're not the priority.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: And this is called cushioning.
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: Cushioning.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: It's funny how they make it, give it a nice
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: word when girls are doing it. The guys are doing it.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: He's a player, man. He's a hoe. He's whatever. He's scumbag.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: If a guy did that, you're a walking red flag.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: Taylor Frankie Paul. Oh, my God.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: She's cushioning.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: It's so cute.
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: Guys can have cushions, too. They talk about that on
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: the show. Like, Taylor Frankie Paul, she can do, like,
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: screw over the world, but her fans are like, oh,
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: Queen Taylor, she can do no wrong.