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Why a Toxic Person Is Most Dangerous When the Bank Account Is Empty · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:05
  What is going on beautiful people?
• 0:08
  Lee Hammock, your favorite? You can have a favorite
• 0:12
  diagnosed narcissists here with another episode today.
• 0:15
  Y'all Today we're talking about the broke toxic person, the
• 0:19
  broke manipulator, damn near the broke narcissist.
• 0:23
  What happens when a narcissist or toxic person loses all of
• 0:28
  their funds? What happens?
• 0:30
  What goes on in the mind of that type of person when they loan,
• 0:34
  no longer have that skrilla, no longer have that dough, What
• 0:40
  goes on in that, in that noggin? We're going to call it the
• 0:44
  noggin and whatnot. Then we're going to hop right
• 0:46
  into it. Y'all narcissistic people.
• 0:53
  Money becomes money, money, money.
• 0:57
  School of manipulation. Let's just keep it hot.
• 1:00
  Let's just keep it ready. Money becomes a tool of
• 1:03
  manipulation. They just use money for status.
• 1:07
  The status the the the type of status manipulation.
• 1:10
  They use money to manipulate partners.
• 1:12
  Financial. Y'all hear the term financial
• 1:14
  obese all the time. A lot of narcissistic people
• 1:17
  will absolutely financially abuse and abuse the people that
• 1:22
  they are dealing with. You ever wonder why your partner
• 1:25
  when they have a lot of money, you can't tell them nothing like
• 1:28
  you can't tell like you can't tell them nothing.
• 1:30
  They don't want to You can tell them something, but they're not
• 1:32
  trying to hear it, right? You can tell them whatever you
• 1:34
  want to tell them, but they but they're not trying to hear it at
• 1:37
  all, right? They're not trying to hear it.
• 1:38
  They don't want to talk to you. They don't want to nothing.
• 1:41
  But when things are going bad, woo, you see the.
• 1:53
  You see the personality flip, you see the personality change
• 1:56
  up really quickly when you're dealing with someone like this,
• 1:59
  especially when they lose access to what they supposed to have
• 2:03
  right when they have money, you can't tell them nothing, but
• 2:06
  when they don't have it, you can tell them what everything you
• 2:08
  want to do, but like still won't be listening to it.
• 2:10
  They still don't care to the point where you're going to
• 2:12
  change their their mindsets, right?
• 2:14
  They will take take your money. A narcissistic person, this type
• 2:19
  of person right here, this manipulative person will
• 2:21
  absolutely feel entitled to your money, feel entitled to what you
• 2:27
  have. That's what they do.
• 2:31
  They will absolutely feel entitled to what you have.
• 2:34
  Isn't it crazy? Yeah.
• 2:35
  Isn't that crazy as hell right there?
• 2:37
  Like that is insane. How they can absolutely go and
• 2:40
  feel entitled to what you have in this situation right here.
• 2:43
  Because when you have a narcissistic person like this, a
• 2:45
  person like this, a manipulative person like this who's acting on
• 2:48
  like this impulse or acting on this money type of stuff right
• 2:51
  here, they will absolutely keep losing it.
• 2:54
  Like they use money for their safety.
• 2:56
  Money. If I have money, at least a
• 2:58
  little job or something like that, I feel safe.
• 3:00
  I feel like I'm in control of everything.
• 3:03
  When a narcissistic person loses money, when they lose it, that's
• 3:08
  when things go crazy. Right there.
• 3:10
  You see what I'm saying? When they lose it because now
• 3:12
  they don't feel safe. Now they don't feel like they
• 3:15
  have any type of power. Now they don't feel like they
• 3:17
  have any type of control or whatever the case may be, right?
• 3:21
  This is what goes on in their mind.
• 3:24
  If I have money, I'm in control, especially if I have a lot of
• 3:28
  it. When I don't have money, there
• 3:31
  is a lack of control. This is why a broke narcissist,
• 3:36
  a broke toxic person, a broke manipulator is a dangerous
• 3:40
  person. Because I know y'all heard the I
• 3:42
  know everybody here has heard the platitude.
• 3:45
  Money is the root of all evil. It's not money.
• 3:48
  Money does not the root of all evil.
• 3:49
  It's the lack of money. It's the chasing of the money.
• 3:53
  Right, because money, money in a different societies, money
• 3:56
  doesn't exist. Well, people, people taking each
• 3:59
  other's lives and stuff like that over it.
• 4:00
  No, you hear these stories all the time on the news.
• 4:03
  Whatever that the partner decided that they were broke, so
• 4:07
  they decided to take out five, take out 17 insurance policies
• 4:11
  on their husband or their wife. And then a month after the
• 4:14
  insurance policies kicked in, they murdered them.
• 4:16
  What? You know what I'm saying?
• 4:19
  Isn't that crazy as hell? That's crazy.
• 4:21
  It's just like they want to like a broke narcissist, a broke
• 4:24
  toxic person, a broke deceiver is a dangerous ass person.
• 4:27
  You hit you. So I say you see these these
• 4:29
  first 40 eights all the time, like the the armed robbery at
• 4:33
  the grocery store, like what the hell are we doing?
• 4:37
  He he killed three people to take and he got $2.00 from it
• 4:39
  because he was broke. Like that's crazy.
• 4:43
  That's type of stuff right there is crazy.
• 4:45
  You see what I'm saying? But this is what happens when
• 4:47
  you have a broke, manipulative person, a broke, toxic person.
• 4:50
  They will absolutely keep doing all of this over and over and
• 4:53
  over again because that's what goes on in the mind, right?
• 4:56
  It's like the more I have, the more in control that I feel.
• 4:59
  And the less I have, the less control I feel.
• 5:01
  Right here you see what I'm saying?
• 5:03
  Because This is why you get a lot of especially the more overt
• 5:06
  malignant narcissist, the more money they have or even if they
• 5:09
  broke. You can have a broke narcissist
• 5:11
  that fakes you. You hear the term fake it till
• 5:13
  you make it. You can have a broke bummy, a
• 5:16
  bum ass, narcissist or toxic person right out here faking the
• 5:20
  funk, dressing nice, dressing expensive and it was called ADH
• 5:26
  gate. They got DH gate all on on speed
• 5:29
  dial, expedited shipping. DH gate.
• 5:31
  They dress in nice dress in fancy whole time, broke as hell.
• 5:35
  They want to keep up their image.
• 5:37
  This is why money is so important to narcissistic
• 5:39
  people. It's like money is like it
• 5:41
  really is. I want to be able to keep up my
• 5:43
  image. I want to be able to have feel
• 5:45
  like I have control or something like that and y'all understand
• 5:48
  like I do so many one on ones with people over zoom where
• 5:51
  people are just saying lately when I first met them, I
• 5:53
  actually thought that they were wealthy.
• 5:55
  They had everything had nice clothes, nice everything.
• 5:57
  But then it turns out they had a negative net worth.
• 6:04
  A negative net worth. They didn't have any money at
• 6:07
  all. They didn't have any type of
• 6:09
  money at all. They just, they were just faking
• 6:11
  it until they got in. They, they told me they had,
• 6:13
  they owned a business. They told me this, they told me
• 6:15
  that. But when we got married or
• 6:17
  whatever, we started finally started living together.
• 6:18
  I was like, hey, where's the money at for the bills?
• 6:21
  And they never did have it. They said they were waiting on
• 6:24
  the deposit or waiting on somebody to pay an invoice and
• 6:27
  the invoice was never paid. Lately, I don't know what to do.
• 6:29
  I don't know what what happened here.
• 6:31
  People like this continue to do it all exactly.
• 6:33
  This type of stuff right here, that's where it goes.
• 6:37
  They brag all the time. Yeah, a lot of them do, right?
• 6:39
  A lot of them do. A lot of narcissists that people
• 6:42
  would brag, but they're not not necessarily a covert narcissist,
• 6:45
  covert narcissist with money or more.
• 6:48
  They still, they might drive a nice car, but they, this is the
• 6:51
  type of narcissist that is kind of like faking the funk the
• 6:54
  other way, right? If a covert narcissist has a lot
• 6:58
  of money, they tend to not show it, right?
• 7:03
  This is the type of person that will dress nice, dress low key
• 7:07
  nice. They're not loud with it.
• 7:09
  They're not peacocking. They'll dress low key nice and
• 7:12
  stuff like that because they want people.
• 7:14
  They don't necessarily want people to know.
• 7:16
  They want people to know they have a little bit of status, but
• 7:18
  they want to have this, this air of like mysteriousness, right?
• 7:22
  They want this air of mystery, like what's this person about,
• 7:24
  right? They, they dress kind of nice.
• 7:26
  I don't know what they got. The covert artists are going to
• 7:28
  be different. Covert people are going to be
• 7:29
  different and whatnot. So that's what happens right
• 7:32
  here. My ex was a student and I was
• 7:35
  paying all the bills and he would take his student loan
• 7:37
  refunds right to high end clothing stores.
• 7:40
  Didn't say he looked down on the porch.
• 7:41
  Oh dear Lord you see what I'm saying?
• 7:43
  He, she was taking care of this grown man who was in school and
• 7:48
  he would get his refund check and and go buy high end stuff to
• 7:52
  fake the funk. Y'all see?
• 7:54
  Literally a clear example of it right there.
• 7:57
  Clear example of it right there. That's what ends up happening.
• 8:01
  They take the money from you and fake the funk.
• 8:04
  This is exactly what they do. They will do this type of stuff
• 8:07
  because it benefits them in the long run.
• 8:11
  It really, it really, really does 'cause they I go out here,
• 8:14
  spend my he, like she said her, her student X would take his
• 8:18
  money and take his refund check and spend it on high end stuff.
• 8:21
  To go out here and pretend to have money.
• 8:24
  He's worried about his image image control.
• 8:26
  Image maintenance is important. Then then This is why when
• 8:30
  narcissistic people lose money when they go broke, they get
• 8:33
  dangerous because their image is out of control.
• 8:35
  I can't control my image with stuff that I'm buying from
• 8:38
  Walmart. Yes, I love Walmart.
• 8:40
  Y'all, this shirt is from Walmart.
• 8:41
  You got stuff that I'm buying from Walmart.
• 8:42
  I can't control my image. I don't look like I have money
• 8:44
  with this. This out of out of boundary
• 8:47
  shirt on whatever the case may be, this is not Louis.
• 8:49
  This is outbound out of Bounds or whatever the case, whatever
• 8:52
  Walmart brand is, right? That's what they do.
• 8:54
  They want to protect their brands and stuff like that.
• 8:58
  His car is owed, but he spent money for the divorce upgrade in
• 9:01
  the engine. Yeah.
• 9:03
  Is it paid off? It's paid off.
• 9:05
  It's paid off. It's paid off or whatever.
• 9:08
  I'll answer. I'll answer questions that are
• 9:10
  not about the topic later on. I'll do AQ and a later on.
• 9:13
  But this is what, like I said, narcissistic people, when they
• 9:16
  do go broke, they will absolutely get dangerous, right?
• 9:19
  Because like I said, when they have money, they're in control.
• 9:22
  When they don't have it, they lose control because they want
• 9:26
  to. They if they have money and
• 9:28
  let's just say they are the financial providers in your
• 9:31
  household. When they have money, I'm
• 9:34
  telling you, they treat you horribly.
• 9:35
  They'll say things like look, y'all will agree that you will
• 9:39
  be the stay at home parent or whatever and they'll make the
• 9:41
  money and they'll and then they'll say crazy ass stuff to
• 9:44
  you. Like without me, you wouldn't
• 9:46
  have this life that you have without me.
• 9:48
  Without my income, you'll be nothing you like.
• 9:50
  Wait, I was working till you told me not to, to agree not to.
• 9:54
  What are you talking about? Wow.
• 9:55
  Me, you're nothing. I run this house, I pay the
• 9:57
  bills here. You will do nothing you like.
• 9:59
  OK, I'll go get a job. No, the hell you won't.
• 10:01
  Why don't you go get a job? You have to pay more bills and
• 10:03
  then we have to pay daycare. No, no, don't do that.
• 10:07
  But you can't. You can't keep holding money on
• 10:09
  my head. I'm not holding money on having
• 10:10
  to be real. So when that card, when they,
• 10:14
  when that type of stuff happens and that card starts getting
• 10:16
  declined, that's when you have a narcissistic people that will
• 10:20
  blow a gasket. Some of them will absolutely
• 10:26
  blow a gasket like on things like this when this type of
• 10:29
  stuff starts to happen. So this is what you got to watch
• 10:30
  out for. I'm just telling you, this is
• 10:32
  what you have to watch out for. Y'all just join up for YouTube,
• 10:34
  make sure you hit the thumbs up button and whatnot and drop a
• 10:37
  comment in the comment section. I know Q&A later on, but that's
• 10:41
  it right there. I'm just telling you, this is
• 10:42
  the mindset, this is the mentality.
• 10:44
  They will keep doing this stuff over and over again, like and if
• 10:48
  you, if they, if you have the money, 'cause you, you do get
• 10:51
  the gold digger narcissistic people, right?
• 10:54
  If you have the money, they might absolutely feel entitled
• 10:58
  to your money. At the same time, You see what
• 11:00
  I'm saying? If you have the money, they'll
• 11:03
  feel entitled to your money. And gold diggers can be both
• 11:07
  male and female or non gender non binary or whatever.
• 11:13
  Trans, you have a trans gold digger, right?
• 11:15
  Doesn't matter. Gender is irrelevant here when
• 11:18
  the gold diggers are coming out, but they will make it feel like
• 11:20
  your money is their money and that's all they and that's all
• 11:23
  they care about. So when you have the money, they
• 11:27
  feel entitled to your money. And when you try to cut them
• 11:29
  off, that's when they lose their minds, that's when you might
• 11:31
  lose their partner, right? It's all about the money.
• 11:34
  They don't really truly care about you, right?
• 11:37
  They don't really truly care about you.
• 11:39
  And this is the type of stuff that continually happens over
• 11:41
  and over again. They don't care.
• 11:43
  They don't care. My ex said, my ex said to tell
• 11:46
  me that my ex said that to me that he worked hard to give us
• 11:49
  everything we had. I made more than double he did
• 11:51
  before he quit his job four years ago.
• 11:53
  You see, there you go right there.
• 11:54
  You see literally there you go right there.
• 11:56
  They will claim everything is theirs.
• 11:57
  Yep. Even if they don't pay any
• 11:59
  bills, even if they don't pay, have any income coming in, even
• 12:03
  if they don't do anything like that 100% they would make it
• 12:06
  seem like you're still it's all mine.
• 12:12
  But especially if they do pay the bills, they will 100% do the
• 12:15
  same type of thing. They will say this is definitely
• 12:17
  all mine, right? That's crazy as hell.
• 12:20
  You know, my ex was on double. My ex was on double what I
• 12:23
  earned but soon ran out of money and I was lending it to him.
• 12:26
  He blamed it on his toxic ex's wanting more trials.
• 12:29
  But yeah, yeah, that don't y'all, I'm not talking to you
• 12:33
  right here in this is just in general.
• 12:35
  If you have a part, if you get with a partner and they're
• 12:37
  behind on child support, yeah, you're going to end up paying
• 12:40
  that, you know, like wait, are y'all paying to hear somebody
• 12:41
  else's kids you just met? Not you, not the person I just
• 12:44
  talked to. But it's just in general that's
• 12:47
  not doing that, you know, but I'm just saying like here.
• 12:51
  So do narcissists have a pimp mentality?
• 12:53
  Some very well made some narcissists because like that's
• 12:57
  when they think they're entitled to every money, every type of
• 13:00
  money that you make, right all the money that you make.
• 13:03
  I should get a piece of or I'm entitled to.
• 13:05
  You know that pimp mentality is you use your body, go out there
• 13:09
  and make the money. You give it to me and I'll divvy
• 13:11
  it up as I see as I see fit. That's that pimp mentality right
• 13:15
  there yes, so that some of them do have that mentality.
• 13:17
  I think all pimps, especially the horrible evil ones that be
• 13:20
  beaten on a beaten on AI guess they're escort to the workers,
• 13:24
  whatever, they're just psychopaths, right?
• 13:27
  You got to be a psychopath to think you are entitled to
• 13:29
  somebody's mind, body and soul and stuff like that.
• 13:31
  You, you kind of have to be, you know, but if you have, if you're
• 13:34
  dealing with a broke narcissist that's always begging you for
• 13:36
  money or broke manipulator, they'll, I'm just telling you,
• 13:39
  don't let them play on your prayer on your heartstrings.
• 13:41
  They'll be asking you for money constantly and not wanting to
• 13:44
  get a job, not wanting to work, they will choose not to work.
• 13:48
  Y'all know how many people, how many people I've talked to how
• 13:51
  many y'all know? Just in general in America when
• 13:54
  you talk about stay at home parents is normally the woman
• 13:56
  right? I've talked to people in
• 13:58
  situation before on my my zoom calls where both people were
• 14:02
  working. The man got fired and a woman
• 14:05
  was working and having to take care of the kids and stuff like
• 14:08
  that. For years the man just refused
• 14:10
  to get another job. He said his lazy ass on the
• 14:13
  couch for 14 years, still expecting meals, still didn't
• 14:16
  help with the kids and stuff like that.
• 14:17
  And when she divorced him, guess what?
• 14:19
  When she finally decided she wanted to divorce him after his
• 14:23
  big stinking lazy ass sat on the couch for 14 years, that's what
• 14:26
  he did. He went and took alimony out on
• 14:28
  her because he said he was accustomed to a certain type of
• 14:30
  lifestyle. Don't let if you have a able
• 14:34
  bodied partner that is choosing not or saying they can't find a
• 14:38
  job and he goes on for years. Y'all imagine paying alimony to
• 14:42
  get to get this person out of your life because some of them
• 14:45
  will feel entitled to it. Like this man said his stinking
• 14:47
  ass on the couch for 14 years, didn't try to get a job.
• 14:51
  And then when she finally decided that she had enough and
• 14:53
  kicked him out, he's like, I'll see you in court, got an
• 14:56
  emergency look and the court gave him emergency alimony.
• 14:59
  Emergency alimony to a grown ass man, a grown able bodied man, a
• 15:03
  grown able bodied man. He got out emergency alimony.
• 15:08
  And so she was left taking care of the kids.
• 15:10
  And still he still didn't do enough for the kids.
• 15:12
  So he got the he moved out took the money that she was giving
• 15:15
  him and got an apartment for himself and just sit his staking
• 15:17
  ass in there for a couple for at least I think the next year and
• 15:20
  a half two years until the alimony had stopped and then he
• 15:23
  finally got a job two years later.
• 15:25
  So he said on his he said he had the shield for 16 years.
• 15:28
  Stop letting people take advantage of like that y'all.
• 15:29
  That's what a manipulator will do.
• 15:31
  They'll make you feel like I can't just find a job anywhere.
• 15:33
  Like I don't want to just find any job.
• 15:35
  I'm overqualified for these jobs. 151617 years is crazy
• 15:41
  crazy. Y'all gotta stop taking care of
• 15:42
  grown. Like this is going to sound
• 15:44
  sexist but stop taking care of grown able bodied ass men.
• 15:47
  They are bums especially. They just choose not to work.
• 15:49
  They are bums. Those are bum ass people.
• 15:51
  Stop thinking you're bumps, you know?
• 15:55
  So I got a couple minutes off for a few questions.
• 15:57
  I filed for divorce yesterday after 19 years.
• 16:01
  Hubby does that. I'm in the home when he isn't
• 16:04
  having an affair. I'm on the House right now and
• 16:05
  somebody told me to Google my address.
• 16:06
  Home for sale. Oh, he's trying to sell your
• 16:09
  house while you're still living in it.
• 16:10
  Oh dear Lord, you don't you. Don't you have to sign paperwork
• 16:13
  for that to happen? I'm actually, I'm actually a
• 16:14
  real estate agent in North Carolina.
• 16:15
  Don't you have to sign paperwork for y'all to be sold?
• 16:17
  Yes. He spent more energy trying to
• 16:19
  do the bare minimum then it would be finally.
• 16:21
  Yep. You see what I'm saying?
• 16:21
  This is what people would do. This is what people this is like
• 16:24
  literally what people do. Emergency alimony.
• 16:26
  That's disgusting for a grown ass able bodied man.
• 16:28
  But like yeah, y'all, this is what she allowed to happen for
• 16:30
  14 years and when she decided to get divorced, he took her for
• 16:34
  alimony. He's like, I have a I'm
• 16:36
  accustomed to a certain type of lifestyle.
• 16:37
  I haven't worked for 14 years. What do you swim to do?
• 16:39
  I can't just find a job. I have a huge gap in my resume.
• 16:41
  What do you swipe me to do? And the court said, hey, bang,
• 16:45
  hit the gavel. She was she was mad as hell.
• 16:48
  She was OK to be she she end up getting getting over it because
• 16:51
  like eventually when courts started to happen more, he had
• 16:55
  to pay child support because he wouldn't take care to get it.
• 16:57
  So it kind of counseled out. They don't want to end up
• 16:59
  counseling out after the Child Support orders and stuff went
• 17:01
  through. So she didn't necessarily pay
• 17:02
  for a while. That's crazy y'all.
• 17:04
  But anyway, y'all, I do have to hop off this thing.
• 17:05
  Y'all. I got to hop off here mental
• 17:07
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  haven't. And as always, as always, the
• 17:50
  tune is out. Peace y'all, have a good day, be
• 17:53
  safe.