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How long does the love bombing last · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, Beautiful people.
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  Today we are talking about how long does the love bombing phase
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  last? How long can they keep up?
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  Keep, keep it up. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
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  Narcissist Code. So boom.
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  Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes. The love bombing phase from a
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  toxic narcissistic person. How long can it last?
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  Y'all will not. Yeah, I know I say this a lot,
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  but y'all would not believe how often I get this question right
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  here. Like how often this question is
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  dropped into my conversation. How long does it last?
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  How long does the love mommy phase last?
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  I like just let me drop a main video y'all look listen to the
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  video, watch the video to the end, you know, leave your
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  thoughts and look leave a comment about how long the love
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  mommy phase lasted with you like with you.
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  How long did it last with you? So to start off, y'all, there is
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  no set time limit for the love vomiting phase.
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  It lasts as long as it lasts. So I actually, yeah, yeah, it
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  it's just one of the things right there.
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  I know people don't want to hear that people that's that's not
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  good enough. But like being realistic, y'all.
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  It can be short as hell. It can be extended.
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  It really just depends on the narcissist and you.
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  It really depends on you. Like Lee, how does it depend on
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  us? Like we, how does it depend on
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  us? If they, if they asked us about
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  the how long they want us to love bombing, we would say
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  forever. We want to love, we want them to
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  love bomb us forever. So how is it about us?
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  Now? It's about you.
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  Because like the reason a lot of narcissists stop love bombing
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  you is because they don't see you the same way anymore.
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  Right now I know the same is true on the other end of the
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  spectrum. Like you don't see them the same
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  way anymore either but they stop love bombing you because they
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  really don't see you the same way anymore like at the
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  beginning. Y'all?
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  Narcissistic people see you as damn near perfect.
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  You are flawless to them. You are literally flawless to
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  them. You can you can do no wrong to
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  that narcissist or to that toxic person.
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  You really really can't. Like they look at you as like oh
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  you like they look at you as like you were created for them.
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  You are the perfect person for them.
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  Like if y'all believe in the Bible and Adam and Eve like they
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  think you were made from their damn rib or you you know they
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  think you were made from their rib or they think that they were
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  made from yours. You know whatever is the way you
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  go with it. That's the mindset you are
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  perfect to them. You are flawless to them.
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  I love bombing is also commonly referred to as idealization.
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  Even though love bombing happens during the idealization stage,
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  During the stage, y'all? This is when they give you
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  everything they want because you make them feel good, right?
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  They look at you as perfect. They put you on this.
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  They put you on this pedestal right here.
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  They put here here, here you go. This is the pedal.
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  This is a little toxic pedestal and this is you because look,
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  you are hand sanitizer because you're clean, right?
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  You are clean in paths, right? You and the narcissists get the
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  ibuprofen because they give you a headache, but they put you on
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  this pedestal right here, right? And they just love bombing you.
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  They look, they clap in the cheeks.
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  They give you everything you want to need.
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  They give you money, take you places, you know, preparing you
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  the best meals, whatever it is, whatever.
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  Love bombing works for you because love bombing is not just
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  grandiose stuff. Love bombing can be an open ear
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  an an ear that's always open, a phone that's always responding
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  to you. Love bombing can be something
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  like that as well. But they love bomb you because
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  they like how they feel about themselves.
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  It's it's crazy how love bombing is actually about the
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  narcissist, right? Love bombing is actually about
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  them. You know, love bombing.
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  I'm going to do a long with video.
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  Y'all be inspiring me with y'all's questions.
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  You know, I'm going to do a longer video about that right
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  there. How love bombing Y'all inspired
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  this video with your questions and then you inspired another
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  video because I just thought about it because love bombing is
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  actually about the narcissism. Pardon the Interruption.
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  Just want to let you know that I do have courses and support
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  groups available as well. Courses to help you understand
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  what you went through and support groups to help you
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  during or after the toxic relationship link in the
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  description. And back to the video.
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  Think about it. Love bombing is actually about
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  them making themselves feel good because you they, they make
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  themselves feel good because they're in control of you.
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  They're getting supply from you, right?
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  They're getting all of this stuff from you.
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  They're getting their needs met from you, So they want to meet
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  your needs. They want to meet your wants,
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  right? And then their love bombing you
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  up until they stop seeing you as perfect.
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  Well, Lee, what causes that? They love bombing you up until
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  they stop see you as perfect. Because this is the dynamic
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  right here, y'all? This is the space that a lot of
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  people fall into. Like they see you as perfect,
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  right? And then they stop love bombing
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  you because they see your flaws. Once they see your flaws come
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  out, once they see that you are a flawed human being, that you
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  are not perfect, they start to treat you differently.
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  They take the love away. The love bomb has finally
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  fizzled out. It has stopped exploding.
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  It's damn near like, you know, the little firecrackers that you
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  light on the 4th of July and they just like the little
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  sparkle or whatever and they're just sparkling bright until it
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  just then it goes up. That's what a love bombing looks
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  like. You know, there's like it's not
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  really a love bomb. It's like a love sparkler.
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  It sparkles until it blow until it burns out, right?
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  So you are their love bombing you.
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  They're giving you everything that you won't need.
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  And then they stop see you as perfect.
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  They see your flaws. They see that you're not a
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  perfect person. And this is not me being
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  disrespectful for you to you. But if you're a believer, you
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  know that there's only one perfect person.
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  That perfect person is high above, right?
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  You know they have a perfect person die for your sins, right?
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  So you're not a perfect human being.
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  We all have flaws. And the crazy thing about
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  narcissists, right? The crazy thing about their
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  flaws is that their flaws, what they see as a flaw in you could
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  be something so minute to y'all, a flaw to a narcissist.
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  They can stop the whole entire love bombing phase.
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  They make them reveal them to their true selves to make them
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  take the mask off. A flaw can be something as
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  simple as you saying the word no to them.
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  You can say the word no to them, right?
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  You really, really can. You can say the word no to them
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  and they see you as imperfect. Now that's a flaw because the
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  word no is a boundary. You you ever hear No is complete
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  is a complete sentence. It's true.
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  No is absolutely a complete sentence, right?
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  But no is also a boundary at the same time.
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  It really, really is. So no is a complete sentence and
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  it's also a boundary. No.
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  It's like that little no is like a damn.
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  It's like here we go. It's like a damn super few,
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  super few super food. Ain't it like Noah is like it's
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  so it's so jam packed. It's only two letters, but it's
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  it's dense. It's dense.
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  The word Noah is, is like it's a boundary.
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  It's a complete sentence. It's a powerful word.
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  You know what I mean? It's, it's, it's, it's dense
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  like a black hole, like a black hole, like the sun, our sun, it
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  can be bigger than a black hole, but the black hole the same size
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  as the sun is way more dense. It's heavier.
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  You know, it's crazy how that works.
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  But they hate the word no. They if you say no to them, if
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  you argue with them, if you refuse them, if they feel like
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  you rejected them, if they feel like you slighted them, they
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  will see that as a flaw and keep messing with you.
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  And then and then and then and like take the love away.
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  The sparkler starts to burn out. The love sparkler starts to
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  finally fizzle and burn out. But the crazy thing about it is
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  y'all, once the love bombing phase ends, it will never ever
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  go back to being the way it was before.
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  And I hate to say that to people, but I, I feel like I
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  need to say it to be real with you, to keep y'all you know, to
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  keep you abreast of what's going on.
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  Love bombing will never. The love will in this
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  relationship will never ever be the same again.
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  It just won't. It won't go back because now
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  they see you as a flawed person. It will never go back to how it
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  was before. And I need y'all to realize that
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  because like, I feel like if you're holding on to hope that
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  it will go back to what it was before, because you see Lee
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  Hammock videos, you see Lee Hammock still married, You see
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  Lee Hammock still making it work in his life and you go back to
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  that. Don't do that.
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  Don't do that because you saw Lee Hammock do it.
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  Because I'm one of the rare ones.
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  And that's not me being braggadocious.
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  That's not me bragging on what I've accomplished, but it's a
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  rarity that a narcissistic person will absolutely make the
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  changes necessary for you to be happy with them, y'all, And for
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  the love to go back because love mom is going to.
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  Once it fills us out, once it fades out, it's gone, y'all.
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  It doesn't come back on. And like I said, it's nothing is
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  really less about you than what you think it is.
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  Now. I say it's not really about you
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  if you peel the layers back. It's really is about them.
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  It really is about how they feel.
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  It really is about how they carried themselves.
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  It really is about getting their needs met.
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  So when they feel like they can't see you the same way
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  anymore, it's like they don't see you the same way anymore.
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  It's like they take your mask off.
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  It's crazy, isn't it? But it's not really taking your
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  mask off. It's really them.
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  It's really them taking their glasses off because they, they
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  have the love goggles on. They see you at 20, they see you
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  at 2020 vision. And then they take the love
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  goggles off and they're like, damn, I really can't, I really
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  can't see. I really, I really messed up.
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  I really made a mistake. So they start taking the love
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  away from you, right? They start subtracting the love
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  away from you. They start minus in the love
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  away from you just because, and I'll say this, just because the
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  love bombing stops, it does not mean that they will leave you
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  alone. This can be two weeks into the
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  relationship. This can be two months.
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  This can be two years. This can be down the road.
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  Y'all. They'll show flashes of who they
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  really are, but they'll show flashes of the love bombing stop
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  and they'll they'll yell at you, they'll scream at you don't get
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  they'll snitch snappy at you. They might even cheat on you.
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  He's crazy about it like they can cheat on you doing the love
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  bombing face. Ain't they crazy?
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  Ain't they crazy and said that's how you know the love by me
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  phase is about them making themselves happy, secure and
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  supply like that's how you know it's about them because they can
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  cheat on you while telling you that they love you and they've
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  given you everything that you want and need.
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  They can still cheat on you doing the love by me phase like
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  so they won't. It doesn't mean that they will
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  leave you alone. They will stick, like some of
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  them will absolutely stick around.
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  Some of them will stay around. Some of them will keep you
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  around because they, they, they, most narcissists don't know
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  what's going on inside of their heads.
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  So they'll keep you around thinking that they can make it
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  work, thinking that crazy thing about it is they, they stay and
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  keep you around thinking that they can change you.
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  You know, they think they, they can change you into someone
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  else, but it doesn't work that way.
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  You know, it doesn't work that way.
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  They want to change you to the image that they have in their
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  heads. They want to change you to the,
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  the image. They they want to change you
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  back to the image of you being on the pedestal.
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  They want to change that. And that's why I tell people if
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  you're dealing with a narcissist or toxic person, whoever just
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  understand. Like if there's no time limit on
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  the love mom and face, it could end.
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  It ends when it ends because they see you for who they are.
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  They see you for who you are, quote UN quote.
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  That's not necessarily and I'm not saying that you are a
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  flawed. You're a horrible person.
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  You know, they just see you for who you are.
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  You know, you don't pick the phone up, you text, you text
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  them back late one day. That's a flaw.
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  Y'all, this can be so small, something so small can turn into
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  something so big. It can be something truly small,
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  but you can turn into something so huge, can't it?
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  But if I tell y'all, this is part of it right here, y'all,
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  this is part of the dynamic. This is part of the space and
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  whatnot. You know somebody's joined my
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  support group. Y'all heard y'all hear the
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  notification. I do have a support group,
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  y'all, So if y'all want to check out the support group, the link
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  is in the description of every video on podcast.
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  I do. We live in a support group.
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  We had a support group meeting last night.
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  It was a great meeting. Thank you everybody for
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  attending who you or if you're watching this.
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  But that's where it goes. That's the dynamic, that's the
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  space, that's the piece that we fall into right there.
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  So I want everybody to understand.
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  I want everybody to know. I want everybody to get into
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  this space. They're like, it's not your
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  fault that the love bombing ends.
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  The narcissist is going to end it sooner or later anyway.
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  You know, just because the love bombing lasts longer doesn't
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  mean it's it, it can be rekindled, so to speak.
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  So don't blame yourself. Don't beat yourself up.
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  There's literally nothing that you can do because it's not
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  about you. Sorry ya it's not about you so
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  hold it y'all. Y'all stay blessed.
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  I hope you should stay in power. And like I said once the love
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  bombing ends, like I said two weeks, two months, two years
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  whenever it doesn't go back to being the same.
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  But it also doesn't mean that they will get rid of you and
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  every there's different spectrums.
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  Narcissism is a spectrum of y'all.
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  So not all every narcissist is going to be the same and just
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  treat you horribly and hurts you and break you down and whatnot,
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  you know? But anyways, y'all, thank you
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  for tuning in to another episode.
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  Of course, like and subscribe to this channel.
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  If you haven't, check out the support group, check out the
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  courses. I'm super thankful for you.
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  Mental illness is up. Peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 12:50
  to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
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  to watch another video or to browse through another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 12:58
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.