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Growth Spurt: Forgiveness · The Growth Project

• 0:02
  You.
• 0:04
  Hey, this is or Milt. Louder. And and one question I get asked often is, what do you think is the number one thing holding people back? And my default is maybe to go from a cognitive behavioral perspective to our thought patterns and our heart thoughts set limits on who we are and who we can become and what we can accomplish.
• 0:21
  But as I think a little bit more deeply about what's holding us back to me is the inability to understand and practice forgiveness. It's really how do you define forgiveness? And the best definition I've heard is Lewis meters. Forgiveness is where that person or that event does not control you. And I would add or keep you from being who you want to be.
• 0:43
  And what does that mean? It means that we're holding on to things constantly in our lives that are holding us back. We're holding onto the things we can't control or let the things we can't control control us. And so as you think about going into this week, as you start this week, forgiveness in that sense does not mean I forget there's a huge difference between forgiveness and forgetting, and does not mean that it's for anybody else.
• 1:08
  Forgiveness is for you. And what forgiveness does is when I make the choice and not let the things I can't control control me. It liberates me from that resentment and that frustration and that anger and that guilt and that shame. And if I'm completely honest with you, that the hardest person for me to forgive in my life is me, I may be quick to give grace to others, but less likely to give it to myself.
• 1:33
  And so I want you to think about forgiveness in your life. What are the things that have happened to you? What are the things that have been done to you? Who has done you wrong? That you're continue to hold on to that grudge? Because I know you've heard the saying that unforgiveness is like you drinking poison and expecting that other person to die.
• 1:51
  So you make this list because I know they're there in your mind that you're holding on to that and harboring those feelings. What you kind of make that list. And I want you to have the courage to choose forgiveness in the simple formula that Turk Pettit taught me long ago. When you accept the things you cannot change and choose forgiveness, that forgiveness leads to freedom.
• 2:13
  Because Lewis Meads also said to forgive, to set a prisoner free. And rather the prisoner was you.