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Can Charlotte Train For An Ironman In 12 Months?!?! · Total Barnage

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Is there enough wiggle room to be wiggling about in like a little worm?
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: In a sleeping bag.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to Totem Varnish.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome back to another episode.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: As you can tell, I'm not on my own anymore.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I have my friend back with me.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's just my alter ego and it's really, really gone south.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: Charlie's lost the plot.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_00: Lost the plot.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Lost the absolute plot.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: You will notice again that uh we will not be doing a video recording of this, but that's okay.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um Ben is having a lovely time sipping his espresso on his stories.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: On his stories.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: So give give uh Slade Studio Media a follow and uh start saying about how he needs to get back home to video us in our podcast recordings.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Come home, the kids miss you.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, the the proper kids.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: The proper kids.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Your big kids, Ben.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're not not your not your two actual kids.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Charlotte, today, what are we gonna be doing?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: But you only know a little bit about blind ranking sports competitions, from from one to ten, and if I would do them, is that or slightly different?
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: No, if I had a year.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I was thinking if if Charlotte had a year, Charlotte, if you had a year to train for any of these competitions that you will first of all blind rank, yeah.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, which one would you like to do?
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And then we're gonna go through and maybe pick a couple of them and see how you would train for them and flesh it out a little bit.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Gold.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um okay.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_01: I think I'm ready.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Are you ready?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Do you understand the rules?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I hope so.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you if you you know, for for the record, blind ranking is basically I will start naming um you know fitness competitions, and Charlotte is going to put it in a ranking being one the best, or ten the worst, and you have to do it in the order that I choose.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Um you're gonna put an absolute stinker at the end, aren't you?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's gonna have to be number one.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: No, unless you pick, you've got you get the choice to pick one.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: Can I switch I can switch them around?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: You can't switch them around, that's the whole point of the blind ranking.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Oh Jesus.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Number one.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Hyrox.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Straight up in number one because I'm not giving you any context for the rest of them.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: For God's sake.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: Where would you rank Hyrox in training for out of all the fitness competitions in the world?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: I wish the cameras weren't right now.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: I could see the disappointment in my face.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Look, I actually think the l the it's not the word.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's not the logic of high rocks, it's not right.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: Are you gonna say that?
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, what the concept?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: The concept of high rocks is great.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's a lovely thing for people to do.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's a pretty achievable competition for people to do.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: However, I hate what the name stands for.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: I cannot like it.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I wanted to do a high rocks before I found out that it stood for hybrid rock star.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: Just such a douche.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's such a douchey name.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: But it's a great, great competition to do for people, and it's great people who can travel to places, but why have you why?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Why you why who called it hybrid rock star?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I think it was them, wasn't it?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Was it them?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: Probably them.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: It has to be them.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Might be some insult that's come from outside.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Might be Jesus.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: It could be.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: It could be divine revelation that they thought, oh, that would be a good idea.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: And if that's the case, then praise praise be to the Lord.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: But I I don't know.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, where are you putting where are you putting your hierarchy?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, okay, you like it.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: I agree, I think it's a cool concept.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to do it.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the fluff around it, maybe not so much, but yeah.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um you know what, mate, so what so ten being the the least I'd like the least, okay.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: I would put I unfortunately I would put it in the top five.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_01: I think I'd go for Unfortunately.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: I think I'd go for a a three.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it's a top three thing to do.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because I hate the name of it, but I think it's uh quite a nice thing to train for.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: It training for it, you're gonna have you're be gonna be in pretty good knack.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, you still you still it still involves weight training, all of the kind of elements that it entails I enjoy doing.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: So it it would be three.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: Brings you back to your brings you back to your roots.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it brings me back to a bit of athletic stuff, literally, a bit of strength.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, how I used to basically train, and I I really, really enjoyed how I used to train.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um it to be honest, it could it could genuinely even be number one, but I'm sure you've got some some really fun stuff fun stuff away from me.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm just keeping that as number three, just so just so I get hit with that wow factor later on.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Well, next one is uh an Iron Man.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Jeez Lord.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Give it you've got a year to train for an Iron Man.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think I'd be ready in a bloody year.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'd give it a good go.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'd probably drown in the swim.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's kind of rough because it's the first one.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's the thing, isn't it?
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: But to qualify uh yeah.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: Again, to clarify, um an Iron Man distance.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, is you have to do a 2.4 mile swim, a hundred and twelve mile bike ride, and then a marathon 26.2 miles at the end.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Shits and giggles, right?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: After you've done your swim and your bike ride.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_01: You would feel so awful even after the first 10k, wouldn't you, when you're running?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be, it's they are wicked, but it's gonna be a it's gonna be an eight.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: An eight, okay.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: So you're not I you're not doing Iron Man.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because it would take me a year to just train for a marathon, let alone the swim in the bike.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's very true.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Although I would say that being a in marathon fitness, it's not a bad way to train for a marathon.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: True.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, to swim and to cycle.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_01: Where where is the iron man though?
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because different ironmans are harder.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's true.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it's around, it's at Barn Gym, it's actually uh swimming in the pool.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Backyard marathon.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Cycling swimming in a pool for two miles is so peak.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: Up the driving back quite a lot of times.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, next one is so you've done three Hyrux three, Iron Man eight, uh, a beer mile.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Your whole year.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: To train for a beer mile.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, ten.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Ten.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't like alcohol.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, there's gonna be something that's so much worse.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna really regret that.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: You're laughing.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: Uh okay, ten, just hate.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: Ten, because I just I don't really beer's alright, but I don't really like beer.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think it feel like it'd be pretty unenjoyable.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: You feel pretty, excuse me, pretty rough after it.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: Are you running that?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta run it.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: What do you mean?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: You're just drinking beer and running?
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: A beer mole.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: So you drink a 330 mil bottle of beer.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Then you run a lap, the track, 400 metres.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: You drink another one, then you run a lap, you drink another one.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: You'd be vomiting.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: Drink another one, run a lap, yeah.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's vom city, ten.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_01: Don't want that.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_01: No, nine.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_01: I said nine, didn't I?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: No, you actually did say well I did say ten, didn't I?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, you said ten.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because beer's not great.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Do you know what the beer mile world record is?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: What on the men's side?
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: I guess.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Uh obviously the the mile record is 343 on the men's side.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's fast.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: So beer mile record.
• 8:20
  unknown: Yeah.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: Five minutes?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_01: Does that include the drinking time?
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: Including the drinking time.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: Oh shit.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: Excuse my French guys.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: Um Yeah, not allowed to swear in here.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: No one's allowed to swear.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, because you'd be like near to the end of that mile, you'd be burping a little bit and kind of sticking in your mouth, wouldn't you?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's also one guy that's dominated the whole sport.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's a Canadian guy called Corey Bellman.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Five minutes.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: He has, so he broke the five-minute barrier since 2016, and he's lowered the record multiple times.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: He currently has the record at 427.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: If we like that in your Instagram.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: With stopping and drinking beer.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: Record breaking beer mile drinker.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's unreal.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_01: Part-time, part-time dad, part-time superhero.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: Full-time superhero.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: There are pram miles, like buggy miles.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know who would be so up for that?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Guy Kennedy.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Philip.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Philip.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: Philip Huthway.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's the he's the mega pram pusher.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh the park runs.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, pram pram mile.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: He'd absolutely smash that, I reckon.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so BML goes in at 10.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yibba we um a backyard ultra.
• 9:39
  unknown: Oh Christ, I didn't even think about that.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so backyard ultra is four miles on the hour every hour.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: Is about is it this is not what I thought.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: I thought a backyard ultra was you have to do an ultramarathon in your backyard.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: That's not what it is.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: So but how many hours do you do with a backyard ultra then?
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: Are you doing it until you've done the distance of an ultramarathon?
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: No, you just keep going until you can't do any more.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: So every hour you have to run a roughly a four-mile lap, 4.167 miles, apparently.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_01: God, that would be so awful.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's like purgative of nine.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Nine?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Nine?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Phil Gore has the world record currently.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: On the men on the men's side.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, Phil.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um he's done 119 laps.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: So he's done 500 miles.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: We need to see a picture of his background.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Nearly five days he did.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, mate.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, life, mate.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: Phil gore.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: Phil gore.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Feel gore.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Bloody hell, mate.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: What are you doing to be life?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: I want to see his backyard.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of mad.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's pretty impressive.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And the women's world record is 95 laps by Sarah Perry.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: It's nearly 400 miles.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's 95 hours staying awake.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, so you're not you're not doing it in your backyard.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: No, you're not doing it in your backyard.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: I feel I don't really get it.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's because like maybe you just run it from home, you do a four-mile loop, you come back, you have a little nap, ten minutes later, you're up again.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: God.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: Weird way to do that.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm you've got to sleep like a marine.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so nine, nine for backyard ultra.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: What about a tough mudder?
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: Tough mudders are great fun.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: That'd be up, that'd be up nice and high, I think.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: High rocks was three, wasn't it?
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_00: High rocks was three.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: You've already you've already written off eight, nine, and ten.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_01: Uh put it in my high rankings, buddy.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: Two.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: Two.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_01: Tough mudders.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I've watched my family do tough mudders before when I was younger and I was quite jealous.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: They're fun.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: Only thing I wouldn't want to do is that there's one obstacle where you have to run through these electric cables, you get zapped.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, right.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Quite spicy.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: They're dangle down.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: Some of them aren't live circuits, some of them are the yeah, I don't know about that.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: But they they looks like a really fun, fun time.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: It'd be really fun, all of us doing that.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I really wanted to do a tough mile.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: That would be really good.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: They look great.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um next one is a uh marathon, a flat out marathon.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Just on its own.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: As if it's not even a great feat.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: Four.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: Four?
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because I want to be keen to I want to do a marathon.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Once once my bodybuilding days are complete, I want to do a marathon.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because I like running.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_01: I just need to make sure I don't make my knee-nee sore again, because that's bad.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't I don't I don't like it when I do debt.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: Start off with an Iron Man and then transition to the Yeah, I should do that, shouldn't I?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_01: What am I gonna have as number one?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the next one we have is a park run.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_00: You have a year to train to get as fast as possible parkrun.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: Uh no, that's gonna be low.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: Oh well.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck off because it's not a fucking park run.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know what?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: This is I'm sure this is a common a common you're gonna bash parkrun, are you?
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 13:14
  unknown: Okay.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: But I would rather run 10k than 5k.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: Because for me, when I run 5k, I try to run it fast.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: When I run 10k, I'm chilled and I enjoy the run.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: And where with 5k I I felt so much worse after running a fast 5k than running a nice 10k where it's still a decent time and I'm just riding, yeah, riding the wave.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: No one can see what I'm doing, but I'm sl gently sliding my hands through the air at a steady pace for people who are listening.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone who's listening.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: For everybody who is listening.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: Charlie can see.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: No visual aids.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: No visual aids.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: I I completely agree.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we could get into the the difficulty of like and we can do another ranking of uh athletics distances.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: Distances, that could be a great one.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: Because we both know them.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: We both did them.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: See Guy.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: Guy will got no guy's a we'll get him in though.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: Guy didn't yeah, guy didn't do those because Guy was just a rugby boy.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: I used to I used to do that.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, 5k is a lot harder than a 10k.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds weird, but it is.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: The energy systems, the intensity.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um lactic acid, go crazy.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you're struggling, you just gotta go.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm toxic on a parkrun as well.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so excited.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, so if you did a park run, you probably get banned.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so toxic on a park run.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: I went the last park run I did.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Did you say where you're gonna put it?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you gonna put park run?
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: I put it low.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: Uh uh, so I got eight and I took seven.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: Seven, okay.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Because I yeah, I'm toxic on a park run.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like the last park run I did it with my brother.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_01: In fact, I've only ever done I've only ever actually done one park run.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Run five Ks, but only ever done one proper park run.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: It was at Kingdom and Pentest, and I did it with my brother because it was his 100th park run.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: And anyone was like, Have we got any of that?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: And my brother didn't want us, and I went other one.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, ah! I was like, yeah, yeah, and I was like, Oh, can you run it with me?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because I hadn't done a lot of running at that point.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_01: Like, well, for a while at then, like, I hadn't that doesn't really make sense.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: I hadn't gone for a run in a while.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I don't I don't feel like great today, anyway.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, oh Alex, can you run with me?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: So he was pacing, he was being a great brother, and then at the end, the sprint finishes absolutely pegged.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: Pegged it past him, absolutely pegged it past him.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: But I also like the fucking everything kids ahead of me, and I hated it because if I was younger, I would have been well well ahead of me.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: I remember I did the race for life, I came third.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_01: Really?
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: Boshed it.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, but where was the race for life?
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: What was the race for life?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: I think Ellie Cohen might have come first.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, bloody Ellie era Ellie Cohen and actually in that training group, and Georgie Madison Brown as well.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: And uh Alessia Russo.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Alessia was fast, boy.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, she was fast.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Claim to fame that.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Tunbridge Athletics Club.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: We literally used to train with her.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of crazy.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: Footballer, lovely girl.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Probably do know.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: Probably do know her because she she still plays for Arsenal, doesn't she?
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: She uh she I don't know which way she switched Man United to Arsenal or Arsenal to Man United.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh, I don't know.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: Neither do I actually.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I I support Arsenal, so that's a bit awkward, isn't it?
• 16:27
  unknown: Yeah.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Slightly.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Slightly.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, searching up, she is like the first person that comes up.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um she's currently at Arsenal.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: Thank God.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: I did think.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: She was at United before.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: Man United are short-sighted, so whatever.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, so you try park running at seven.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I think you know it's just a bit bland.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to tra I don't want to train for a year for that.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well funny.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like imagine you making a you know series and like content.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_01: This is my 11th month of training for parkrun.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: Parkrun.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Couch to 5k, like glorified, isn't it?
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Huge over over a whole year.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, next one is um is the ride the night.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um what my mate Maisie did at the weekend, which is for, I think it's for cancer research.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's a women's only cycling event at night.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: You go from Windsor uh to London and back.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's really cool.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: So that is the ride the night.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: What have I done?
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: Have you written down my rankings?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Because I yeah, sure as hell can't remember.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: So left you have number one, you've got left.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Uh number five and number six.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'd do a number five.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah?
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because it just sounds like a nice again.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_01: I I feel like it probably isn't actually I don't know.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: It might be quite difficult, but I feel like it would just be nice.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't think anyone would be very competitive.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: I think it would be a nice event to do.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, just cruising.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: Great cause as well.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, very great course.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And for just£45, which is about a tenth of the price of HyROX.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: And how much did you enter London Marathon?
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh gosh.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, you if you get in charity, yeah.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, charity mainly, isn't it?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: I reckon a million people went into the ballot this year.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Jeez.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: Jeez.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: I reckon that was over a million.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's got super popular.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: Outrageous, isn't it?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, you do uh yeah, you start and end uh the Royal Windsor race course and the route, either you um do 50k or 100k.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I'd say gun it for a hundred, wouldn't you?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: And you're asked, yeah, you gotta do it, really, ain't you?
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Gotta do it.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Then you're asked to raise a minimum of 200 quid.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: Which, you know.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: You got a year's.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: You could just put that in, you could just do that yourself.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Well, after you've bought all of your cycles, life's expensive.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: My thousand pound bike.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_01: Joking, we'll never have to.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: Think about yeah, think about the uh you want a good bike.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: Think about how much you're spending on the kit for all of these trains.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Parkrun, you're alright.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: High rocks getting there with the entry fee and the travel and stuff.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to have make sure you put that your if you do partners, you've got matching Jim West, your partner.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, would you do a single or a double?
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Doubles could be really fun.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: I would like to do doubles because it's that would be fun.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: The blondies, I'll get you an honour active.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, great.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: Kind of, yeah.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not pink.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: No pink.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: Disturbing bra and like blue.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Blue.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I can do blue.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Blue is nice.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: More of a green, but I can do blue.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: We could do green.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_01: Green's a sleigh.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a green.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a green girly.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: Why are we both wiggling our toes like that?
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: Diddly diddly did size it.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_01: They can't see it.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: Can't wait.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: Cannot wait.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: Ride the knight at number five.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: Ride the night.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: I've got number one, number six left, right?
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: Number one and number six.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: So what are you gonna leave instead?
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: The next one on the list is the three peaks challenge.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: The three peaks challenge is where you have to climb the highest mountains in Scotland and Wales.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Nevis and Scarfell Pike.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: Scarfell Pike.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_01: We'd love to do that.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: Within 24 hours.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_01: TBH.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: If I do this as my one, is the next one going to be a stinker or a fantastic one?
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be a stinker, isn't it?
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's a stinker, but not for the reason that you think.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's a stinker, but not for the reason that I think.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'll put this as number one.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: No! Because I would like to do this.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think this would be nice.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: I think my brothers did this.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe they were going to do it.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: But again, a cool challenge.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: Very cool challenge.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: Something that I could also, you know, can maintain other training bits in between that.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: For example, like, yeah.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: I guess it's kind of a thing you're not gonna spend a whole year.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, you know, what are you really training for?
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because, like, other than you know, you need to be able to hike.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: Like for you, transitioning to do it, like you should be able to do it.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_00: I could probably just do it's more about getting the people to drive and stuff as well.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: You need a car that works, that's probably the toughest bit.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a bit long.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: You've got to do all three in 24 hours.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's quite that's quite intense.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's quite intense.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: I climbed the Triffon, which is a mountain in Snowdenia, um, with my dad, my old school friend, and her dad when we were younger, and that took quite a long time, and that wasn't as high as Snowden.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_01: There were some very dicey parts on that mountain though.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: It was a scramble kind of mountain.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_02: Oh gosh.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: Some and I I remember shout out to Georgina actually.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: Georgie, she she she quite finds this quite funny, but I remember accidentally kicking a or like a tiny bit of rock fell, and her dad shouted at me.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: He was a mountain climber, he got very he Went don't be.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, she deliberately kicked it.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, no, no, no.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: Did it did it didn't deliberately kick anything.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but a a little bit of rock did drop and Avalanche.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: Very, very angry father.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: Alistair, he got a bit annoyed.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, well, you can't do much about it, it's just a rock.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's just new lecturing, isn't it?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: But anyway, yeah.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so currently you are you have ranked the three peaks at one.
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: Tough mudder at two.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: High rocks at three.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like I wish I could swap Tough Mudder and Hyrux around, even though I feel like the High Rocks maybe I want to train a bit more for.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_01: Not that I mean they're all you still get a year, but yeah.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Marathon at four.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Ride the Night, Night Ride at five.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_00: This thing coming up at six, Parkrun at seven, Iron Man at eight, Backyard Ultra at nine, and a BMR at ten.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so your number six is, and it's actually coming up in two weeks' time on the 25th and 26th of May.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna be really good, isn't it?
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is actually Monday the 25th of May.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: This is the Cooper's Hill cheese rolling and twerk!
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that that would be so fun, but also I don't you know what?
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_01: I back my choices.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: That sounds great, but I do not need a year to try to.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, 180 metres, 200-yard downhill race in Brockworth.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_01: People actually like fall down the hill, don't they?
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Participants chase a three-kilogram wheel of double Gloucester cheese.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: Held on the Springbank holiday.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: The event involves participants sprinting, tumbling, and rolling down a nearly vertical hill to win the cheese with speeds reaching up to 70 miles per hour.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_01: The cheese or the people.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, that would be incredible.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine that cheese hitting you.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: You'd be killed.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: Death by double Gloucester.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the first person to reach the bottom of the hill and cross the finish line wins the cheese wheel.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a 600-year-old tradition.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's so great.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: Known as a dangerous event, it often results in injuries with participants.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_01: Has it ever resulted in death?
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: Tumbling uncontrollably.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen videos of it.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's really good.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's good fun.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: God, it would hurt if you fell though.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: I need to see how steep that is.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's 45 degrees.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: Which is super steep.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's so steep.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: Imagine you usually just cannot, your feet cannot keep up with your body at that point.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: But the good thing about it is that there are local rugby club members acting as catchers at the bottom.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_00: So just in case you know you fall, which you will, um isn't that if you don't know about this cheese chasing competition, if you're not, especially if you're not English, if you ever, you know, if if if somehow you have reached this podcast from outside of the motherland, and it's it's just hilarious.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it is so so good.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: Quintessentially British.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh so British, man.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um okay, so you would you would do a Ride the Night, a Marathon, a High Rocks, a Tough Mudder, and the Three Peaks Challenge before you would do the cheese chasing.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: It's not the biggest block of cheese.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's three kilograms.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_00: Boo.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, to be fair, yeah, you can imagine it being massive.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_01: From from my memory of seeing pictures of this big, massive, like yeah.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: God, they all look British, man.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: Look at these people.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: Proper like England.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know?
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, so there's Americans that have done it.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_01: Colorado Springs veteran, first American to win English cheese.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: That is a very steep hill.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_00: That is a steep hill.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's like actually some you know, honourable mention is the opposite of this, yeah, which is the Red Bull 400.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: Is that 400 meter climb?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you just go up a really, really steep.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um let's have a look.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: But I have, I have uh in preparation for this, I've had a look and I've asked um I've asked AI what would be a 12-month training plan for the ultimate Cooper's Hill comp.
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh and apparently, so the hill is 200 yards long, the gradient is literally one to one, so it's nearly a 45 degree angle, uneven terrain divots and bumps, wet grass equals slippery as hell, according to AI.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: Equals slippery as hell.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then it says the reality: nobody runs down, you fall with style, and the average time is 10 to 15 seconds.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, 70% of the competitors tumble or roll, and your injury common injuries are ankle rolls, dislocations, and concussions.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, fair enough.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: So sorry, but can I quickly just go back to that Red Bull 400?
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, some of the 400s they do are on ski jumps.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: If you fell, you're dying, and you're killing a lot of legends with you.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: Like it'll go on your your tombstone, kill the load of legends.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's it.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: In your bio, kill the load of legends.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: That's kind of wild.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: Would you like to know the physical the top seven physical demands to wrap up for uh if you were to train for a year doing this cheese rolling?
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_00: So number one is explosive power.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_00: Apparently, to launch you off the top, you just need to go.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's like diving off a diving board.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_01: Flying?
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_01: Explosive power, yeah.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be able to fly.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_00: Eccentric strength, absorb impact forces while moving downhill.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: Dynamic balance and proprioception to stay upright on unstable terrain.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: Durability to withstand fools without injury.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: Sprint speed, it says brief, but maximal effort.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't think you're really doing any sort of sprinting.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_01: You're just you're just you're just letting gravity take you.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_01: Wherever that may be.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: This makes more sense.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: Recovery ability.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: Quick turnaround between heats.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, is there a heat?
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: No way.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_01: Is there like a finals?
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: Do you reckon there can't be?
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: You can't be.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: You can't.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's a one and done situation, though.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: What the Jeff?
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: Wait, so do you think they do heats without the cheese?
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: Speaking of men's fitness, they've done a thing about everything you want to know from a former champion.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: Wait, Dave Castle! It's no way.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the guy running hub.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_00: So basically, Charlotte and I were talking about earlier.
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: We said, Oh, it'd be really cool to get Dave Castle.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: He owns Running Hub.
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_00: Owns the running hub in Southborough.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: Great shop.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: I've also known him for years, um, because he's close, close friend and integrated with uh Tumbridge Athletics.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_01: He rubs Charlie's thighs.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: He also rubs my thighs.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: He's my um he is my you clear that throat.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, Masseuse, that's the word.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: Boyfriend.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_00: And actually, I've got this wrong.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: Uh it the title is a little bit misleading because it just had his name under it.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_00: But he's written the article.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because he's the editor, you know, the editor for the men's house.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_01: He hasn't run the cheese race.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I thought he was a former champion first.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: Can you imagine?
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's so funny.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, but so he's he's former champ.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, he wrote about the former champ.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny though, speaking of the devil.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: That is so that is so mad.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's the first one that came up.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, the former champ, he's got a photo of him at the end, and he's got a broken eye.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_01: Oh mate.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_00: Um, he looks absolutely in peace.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_01: He looks like he's been beaten up by a grass hill.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: He said you need to get to the hill by 10:30 a.m.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: And by 11am, it really starts filling up, and they let 20 people through the gate at the top to run each heat.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't get a place, there's a chance to run at the end without a cheese to chase.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_01: So rubbish.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: Screw that.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then afterwards, everyone heads down to the local and it's called the cheese rollers.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: Brilliant.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: I like this a lot though.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely bloody brilliant.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe we should go and observe that one, yeah.
• 30:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um your knees in good knack, maybe you should give it a go.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, you're allowed to run.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: It's probably some of the best rehab I could ever do.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: The f the foundation, the first three months is the goal is to build base strength, bulletproof joints, and develop movement literacy.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: I think we just need to train for the teaser race.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: I think you just jump down a hill.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_00: Develop explosive power, train downhill mechanics, increase chaos tolerance.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_00: Mumps forward to six.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine doing like a program where it's like, right, this week we're increasing chaos tolerance.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_00: Unreal.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: So outrageous.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_00: Reaction ball catches, lateral shuffles, sparring footwork drills, crash mat, falling practice, and then last phase, maximum explosiveness, refined downhill technique, and mental rehearsal.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: Maximal explosive diarrhoea.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: But that's Sarah.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_00: That is it.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: Storming into the gym below.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_01: She's gonna.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm about to take my lovely client through a sweaty session.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_00: Well, get her on.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't you just get her on a month 10 to 11 race simulation?
• 31:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um push her down a hill.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: Find your ideal training hill.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: You need one, a similar gradient, a grass surface, and at least 75 yards.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: We've got some hills on the farm, actually.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_01: There's there's some over there.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: We should do it.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm down.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do it.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: Down down to Chinatown.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Charlotte, you now have to pick one of those uh to do.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh Christ.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, otherwise you are well, everyone's gonna be marathon.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, got one year.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_01: See you next year.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: See you then.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_01: Bye!
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: Bye, and tune in next time for uh us rating top ten running.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: Hairstyles of 2020.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm very excited.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: Running distances and how difficult they are.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_00: And is a marathon more difficult than an 800-meter race?
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_02: Ooh.
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_02: Tune in time.