Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #813 Book Backlashes & Smacking Smackdown

Transcript

#813 Book Backlashes & Smacking Smackdown · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the time poor parent who just answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Now, Well, Kylie, I know it was only two weeks
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: ago that This Week in Parenting was booming out of
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: our podcast feet. But guess what, you've got some more infos. Oh,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: there's more stuff happening. The pairing world has gone a
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: bit bonkers in the last couple of weeks, and I
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: just think every now and again, we've got to talk
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: about the hot issues, the big issues, the stuff that
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: parents are becoming ignited about. I think that's the word
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I'm going to use, ignite it. I have two big stories.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I've mentioned them both to you briefly. One of them
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: has to do with intimacy and a book that was
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: published recently and then pulled off the shelves of Big
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: w we'll talk about that. And we've also got a
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: renowned psychiatrist speaking with Ben Fordham, who is all in
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: favor of whacking our kids. Where do we start.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: You're not going to talk about Barbie, Well, we.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Haven't seen it. It's on the list, you know what
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: we're supposed to be talking about. Barbie. I want to
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: talk about Barbie, but I can't bring myself to watch
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: the movie. I'll see you on a mallible. We've had
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: this conversation the other night. You said to me, can
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: we please go and watch Barbie? And what was my response?
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: I'd rather die.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I think that's pretty much what I said. Kill me now,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: just no. And yet I know we're supposed to watch
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: it so that we can jump onto the podcast and
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: tell everybody about it.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: So here's the funny thing. I'm not interested in it
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: one iota no, but there is so much hype about it.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: I know I actually want to go and see it
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: just to prove that all the hype is just paid advertisements.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: And I actually have a belief that the quality of
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: the movie is usually directly proportional to the amount of
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: advertising spend on it. So they're spending a lot of
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: money on this, which means that it must absolutely stink.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: That's my but I haven't seen it.
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: Our fifteen year old did see it, yeah, and she
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: actually came home and she looked at us and she said,
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: I'm not actually sure if there was a storyline, but
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: there was just lots of funny moments.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: I've read the reviews common Sense Media, which is one
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: of the great places you can go to get reviews.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: And I said, this strain Council on Children in the Media,
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: the am here in Australia, so common sense Media said
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: it's for kids' eleven plus, but reading the parent reviews,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: they're horrified. They're saying there's a lot of innuendo that
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: we haven't seen it anyway, Suffice it to say, I
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: don't think we can talk about Barbie.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: Well, you're gonna have to get a pink shirt. Everyone
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: wears pink when they go to see Barbi.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: I can wear my pink collared shirt, huh, because I'm
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: not going to go and buy her shirt from a
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: movie that I don't even want to see. I know
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: this week comparing, we've got the two topics we have
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: to talk about. But just quickly, the other night, you
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: begged to watch a movie and I acquiesced, and I said, arlotte'
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: watch a movie. So you picked something on Netflix and
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: we sat down to watch it. And why don't you
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: tell everyone how I go when a movie is on
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: the TV.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: You started scrolling yeah, and then I zoned out completely,
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: and then.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I switched it off and said, can we just go
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: to bed and hut like anything? Other than staring at
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: the television. I hate it. I don't. It's got to
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: be a really good movie. It's got to be a provocative,
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: thought provoking creat it's going to be a masterpiece, or
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: I can't watch it. That's how I am with movies. So, Barbie,
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: I just have a sense it's not a masterpiece, Honey.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Not a masterpiece, I don't believe.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: So, wow, that's a big statement.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I'm comfortable standing behind that one. You know what. Let's
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: see Barbie this weekend and then we'll talk about it
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: next week on the pod.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: Okay, all right, well you've teased it.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Which one do you want to go with?
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: We've got to talk about Umi Stein's book, Welcome to Sex.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, So you me and Melissa Kang, who was an
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Associate Professor in General Practice like GP in the clinical
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: school in the GPE Clinical School at Sydney Medical School.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: She used to be the Dolly doctor. So you've already.
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: Got me a little bit nervous about where this book's going.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: Right, and this is the thing. Right as soon as
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: you mention Dolly Doctor, you know that there's going to
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: be content there that's going to have parents clutching their
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: Pearls ABC personality Umi Steins has come under fire for
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: a book she co authored about sex aimed at children
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: as young as eight.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: So often these things start getting into things that aren't
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: about A plus B equals. See, there's stuff that's about
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: gender identity. Lots of these other things issue here that
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: are frankly, far more complicated to start to introduce to
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: a kid at a time when traditionally we've been talking
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: about the most basic parts of how humans are made.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: So my biggest concern is this book is a book
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: that's aimed for ten to fifteen year old, So that's
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: a massive, massive gap between what a ten year old
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: needs to hear and what a fifteen year old is
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: going to be talking about and wanting to know. That's
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: the first thing. But the second thing is this is
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: actually sex education not guided by parents, but literally by
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: two authors. And yes they have some credentials in the area,
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: but I would have thought that what would have been
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: more appropriate is arming parents with the ability to have
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: these kinds sessions with the kids instead of literally taking
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: the parents out of the equation.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: Okay, my take on this. If you have children listening,
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: this is the bit where you do press pause, because
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: I am going to be explicit and I'm going to
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: tell you exactly what is in the book. And this
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: is why there are some critics who are saying this
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: is not for kids. So there are some small and
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: they are small sections of the book that address all
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: kinds of well in twenty twenty three, the term that
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: I would use would be inclusive sexual practices. That would
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: be the twenty twenty three term for it. So we're
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: not just talking about penetrative penis and vagina inter course.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: We're talking about fingering, we're talking about oral sex, We're
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: talking about scissoring, we're talking about anal sex, sixty nine ying.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: There are arrange things that some people may be hearing
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: me say those things and saying, what on earth is that?
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Please don't google it. Okay, don't google it if you're
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: not sure what it is. There are other ways to
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: find out. Maybe you could buy the book, just not
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: from the bookshelves in Big w Becau has been removed
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: for the bookshelves. Critics are also saying that gender ideology
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: forms a part of this book and that there are
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: some things there that are quite challenging when it comes
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: to gender and inclusion. But those who are supporting it
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: are saying, all this is actually a and this is
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: a direct quote that I've got here, a frank age
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: appropriate introductory guide. This is what the book says to
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: sex and sexuality for teens of all genders, inclusive, reassuring,
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: and all about keeping sex fun, real and shame free.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: So going down a totally different road. For parents who
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: are dealing with gender identity challenges within their home, a
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: book like this is going to be, I guess, a
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: breath of fresh air because there's not a lot available
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: to parents as resources. The challenge I have, as I
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: stated earlier, is that this doesn't seem to be a
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: resource for parents. Well, this has been written specifically for children.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: But where did I come from? Which is the book
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: that many of us were raised with was also not
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: a book for parents. It was a book to handle
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: the kids and say, hey, why don't you read this?
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: This is my parent expert take on this. So number one,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: sex education for our children and young people is valuable.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: But I think that we've got a concern when we've
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: got Umi saying I'd be happy with a maturer eight
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: year old having a flip through this. Wow, I don't
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: feel good about that when people are saying, this is
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: a book for ten to fifteen year olds and we've
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: got that kind of content. No, it's not a book
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: for eight to ten or even maybe ten to twelve
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: year olds. So the thing is it is a book
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: for some of them. And the reason I say that
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: is because in some households, they're being exposed to this
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: kind of content one way or another, whether it's a
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: big brother who's left a screen open when he was
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: looking at content that was not for him, or anybody
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: else for that matter. We've got conversations happening in playgrounds
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: around schools. This content is coming up regularly, and some
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: of our younger kids, even in that ten twelve thirteen
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: age group, a thirteen year age group, they are coming
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: across it. So I would much rather than get it
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: from Melissa Kaying and Yumi Steins than from Google or
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: porn Hub. But the reality is that the majority of
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: our eight to ten to twelve year olds are not
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: coming across these terms, not at that age, and they
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: don't need this book at that age. Therefore, I think
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: that it's important for parents to just be discerning and
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: be willing to have the conversations yourself, and then when
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: the kids are old enough, when they come home and
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: they say, as my sister did one time after she
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: came back from ponycamp. I think she was about ten
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: or eleven, Hey, mum, what's sixty ninety? She said it
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: to my mum in front of a customer in my
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: mum's furniture store as Mum was trying to serve this person,
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: and Mum said, not now, and my sister kept saying,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: but Mum, what's sixteen? Like she asked about fifteen times
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: because the big kids at ponycamp were talking about it
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: and they wouldn't tell my sister what it was. My
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: poor mum, can you imagine, And bear in mind this
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: is back in the nineteen eighties, so she would have
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: just been dying on the inside, this poor, poor situation
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: going on. This is not a book for little kids,
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: and even for for the younger age group of that
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: ten to fifteen. But as kids get older, they do
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: hear about this stuff, and I want them to hear
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: from reputable places and reputable people.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: We talk about kids being curious, and specifically about intimacy
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: and how it all works, but the reality is, when
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: you think about an eight year old and their level
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: of curiosity and the questions they might be asking you, yes,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: as opposed to the curiosity of a fifteen year old.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: There's a really big chasm between what an eight year
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: old wants to hear and what a fifteen year old
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: is interested in.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: Totally.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And so my perspective is, if you're going to
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: pick up a book like this, you really want to
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: know the content of it before you're handing it over
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: to your kid. And in that younger section, I'd definitely
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: be sitting down with them. It's not something i'd be
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: handed to them and just saying, have a flick through this.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Have you got any questions?
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. So I've had to flick through it. I
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: haven't read the book carefully. It hasn't landed on my desk.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: It's not like sex Man or anything like that. It's
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: not about that. It's really about the tricky emotions and
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: the concerns and questions that kids have about this kind
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: of stuff. I think that for the most part of that,
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: it is actually really responsible. I mean, these guys have
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: written welcome to your period, They've written welcome to consent,
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: They've written welcome to your boobs right, Like they're out
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: there making a difference in helping families in supportive ways.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: I just think as parents we need to be discerning.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Don't give it to your kids if they're not ready
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: for it. Have the conversations yourself. Be familiar with the
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: content that's there, but know what's going on in terms
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: of the conversations that your kids are having, Like be aware.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: To me, that's the central element of this whole story.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: All right, well we need to get on to the
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: next one. What is number two in your this week
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: in Parenthome.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I'm going to play some audio here. This audio comes
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: from the ben Fordham Show on two GB in Sydney.
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: He was speaking with Tanvihmad. He is a Sydney based
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: psychiatrist who has written for many many years for the
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Agent Sitning Morning Herald. He has quite a big profile
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: and they were talking parenting. Should parents be allowed to
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: give their kids a little smack.
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: In short, Yes, when it's combined with us measures, you know,
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: you take away their privileges, you said, other types of boundaries.
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: I think we can just get too black and white,
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: and I think it's different in other cultures. Think how
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: diverse we are multiculturally now then, and I think a
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: lot of cultures it is a really way of shame.
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: This is the boundary we expect in our communal environment,
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: if you like. But I think we get too black
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: and white where we go. It's just a source of shaming.
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: It's entirely negative, and I don't think that's always the case.
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: So Kylie tund he has a really big reputation as
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: a psychiatrist. He's come out and said it, and therefore
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: it is this week in parenting, these big news, and
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: I think I just I have to respond, so you
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: know where this is going. But I'm not going to
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: go where you think straight away. I'll get there eventually.
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: Psychiatrists have not done degrees in parenting. Psychiatrists don't know
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: what the parenting science is. Psychiatrists are actually medical doctors
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: who focus primarily on significant mental health challenges, the sort
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: of stuff that requires medication, the kind of staff where
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: the psychologist and the GP and everyone else is working
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: with you or your child or whoever says this is
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: really serious, we need to bring in the big guns.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: Psychiatrists generally deal with the medication end of significant psychiatric illness.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: So cause by smacking your kids.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: Cause by smacking your kids, Thank you so much for
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: saying that.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: So.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've had conversations with Tanver, We've got each
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: other's phone numbers, We've conversed really really lovely guy. But
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: on this one, I just have to say he's wrong,
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: and not just wrong, He's doing something that takes us
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: back several steps in our efforts to make the world
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: safer for our kids and to raise our kids in
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: better ways. He's literally causing us to regress, to go backwards.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: I cannot believe that he said it. I cannot believe
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: that we're having this conversation. But I'm just so annoyed.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: I'm really fired up about it.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: We've had this conversation so many times. I feel like
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: we're just hitting our heads against the brick wall. But
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: when I think about, you know, the protection rights that
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: we have for animals and our staff.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: And domestic violence laws and so on, Yeah.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: It just astounds me that we're justifying our lack of
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: self regulation in a moment as being helpful in helping
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: our children understand boundaries.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. I want to also reference his statement in
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: relation to cross cultural consideration. People from other cultures hit
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: their children. And we're in a pluralistic society here in Australia.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: We've got a diverse culture and a diverse population. So therefore,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: we need to stop shaming parents for hitting their children
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: because many of them are from other cultures where it's
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: totally the norm. If we I'm not about shaming parents,
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: we've probably all done it. I hope we haven't all
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: done it, but unfortunately both you and I have. We've
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: stepped in that hole more times than we would really
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: like to consider. But we done well work so hard
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: to stay well away from that. When we start to
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: make excuses for people, we just make it easier for
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: them to do it, and we make it harder for
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: us to get the message across that this is not
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: healthy for our children. I want to share with you
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: a brand new study. This one came out just at
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: the start of the year. This is a longitudinal study
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: of kindergarteners. And what the researchers here did this was
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: in the journal Child Abuse and Neglect, and what they
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: looked at was how spanking in America they call it spanking.
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: So we're not talking about child abuse here. We're not
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: talking about wallopping your kids all day every day. We're
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: not talking about all the horrible stuff. We're talking about
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: giving your kids a smack because they've been behaving in
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: a way that's not okay. And what the research has
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: found in this particular journal artic on this particular study,
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: was that children who were exposed to spanking had higher
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: externalizing behavior. Externalizing behavior is acting out, it's being aggressive
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: towards others, it's slamming doors, kicking, screaming, and just basically
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: acting like a porkshop when things don't go your way.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Higher levels of externalizing behavior, lower levels of self control,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: and lower into personal skills compare the children who had
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: never been spanked. This is American data. I'm just saying
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: spanked because that's what the article says, rather than smacked.
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: And so the research also shows that some parents are
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: using spanking as a form of punishment with the goal
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: of correcting or controlling their child's behavior. But researchers are
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: showing ongoingly that spanking is harmful for child development, suggesting
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: that it models aggressive behavior, undermines parent child attachment, and
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: impairs children's self regulation skills. Research evidence has largely supported
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: the harmful effects of spanking, showing that spanking damages children's
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: social competence and social skills. And the article goes on
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: and on and on. It just keeps on going with
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: more and more data pointing out all of the research
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: that shows that we've got to stop smacking our kids. So, Tanvere,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you listen to the Happy Families
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: podcast or not, but I'm calling you out on this.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: We need to stop it, and we need to have
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: conversations with people like ben Fordham saying that there are
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: better ways to do this, and let's also stop pointing
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: parents to the other adverse ways of disciplining children by
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: hurting them, whether it's time out or removal of privileges
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: or anything else that he said. I've written an entire
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: book about what to do instead. It's called The Parenting Revolution.
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: You gave it a Solid four Now book Club a
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago. Rebecca Sparrow reckons it's literally one
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: of the best parenting books she has ever read, and it.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Has sounds like a solid four to me.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: Solid four. It's changed the way she raises her kids. Please,
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: we don't need to make our kids.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: That's how much did you pay her?
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: I didn't pay her? How much am I paying you
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: stop it all right. That's this week in parenting. I
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: think though two really important conversations. Hopefully they have been helpful.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: If you're having a hard time with the kids talking
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: about sex and intimacy, or dealing with smacking, it could
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: be at either end of the spectrum. Please visit happy
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: families dot com dot you. Our membership has a bunch
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: of resources to help with both of those things, to
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: help you to guide your kids successfully and raise them happily.
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland for Bridge Media.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: Craig Bruce is our executive producer. For more information about
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: how to make your family happier, please visit us at
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: happy families dot com dot you. Oh. Big news Tomorrow
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: on the podcast, we find out what gender our new
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: grand baby's going to be.