Latest / BREAK/FIX the Motorsports & Vehicle Enthusiast Variety Show / Drive Thru News #40 - Would you like cheese on that?

Transcript

Drive Thru News #40 - Would you like cheese on that? · BREAK/FIX the Motorsports & Vehicle Enthusiast Variety Show

• 0:00
  The Drive Thru is GTM's monthly news episode and is sponsored in part
• 0:03
  by organizations like HPTEjunkie.
• 0:06
  com, Hooked on Driving, AmericanMuscle.
• 0:09
  com, CollectorCarGuide.
• 0:10
  net, Project Motoring, Garage Style Magazine, and many others.
• 0:15
  If you are interested in becoming a sponsor of the Drive
• 0:17
  Thru, look no further than www.
• 0:21
  gtmotorsports.
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  org.
• 0:22
  Click about, and then advertising.
• 0:24
  Thank you again to everyone that supports Grand Touring Motorsports,
• 0:27
  our podcast, Brake Fix, and all the other services we provide.
• 0:33
  But now it's time we go south to Florida to talk about alligators and beer.
• 0:39
  Alligators drinking beer.
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  That's right.
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  Beer drowning alligators.
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  You know what?
• 0:58
  I don't have any Florida men.
• 1:00
  What?
• 1:01
  I don't got no Florida men, I got other men, but no Florida men.
• 1:04
  By the way, did you guys see that picture that I sent you?
• 1:06
  Yeah, that was good.
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  He pulled up next to me in the turn lane, and he was like,
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  Oh, can I get in front of you?
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  I didn't realize this lane didn't go straight.
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  And I was like, yes, whatever.
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  And he pulled up into the middle of the intersection, and I was like,
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  Jesus Christ, of course you are.
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  Whatever.
• 1:20
  Whatever.
• 1:22
  Lord, I mean, that's right.
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  What have you brought us this time?
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  Yes, there's some nuggets in here.
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  You know what?
• 1:28
  We're gonna start up north We're gonna start in Michigan.
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  This is a cute one.
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  It's called.
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  Holy cow, Michigan man rides cow across Woodward Meaning like a street.
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  Oh, no, not Dave Woodward No, no.
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  No, Will the Cowboy and his pet heifer Hope were caught crossing the
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  intersection together on cowback.
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  Wait, who was riding who?
• 1:53
  Why did the cow cross the road?
• 1:55
  To get away from his owner.
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  In fairness, I believe he works for like a farm that does sort of like
• 2:03
  petting zoo type stuff, so he was actually trying to train the cow.
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  Heavy petting?
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  To be rideable.
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  I'm, you know, I, I don't know.
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  Maybe that's what he was doing.
• 2:13
  To be what?
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  I missed it.
• 2:18
  I love hearing the headlines before I click into the article.
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  This is my new favorite game.
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  Meanwhile in...
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  Other parts of sunny America.
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  In our great state of Nebraska, which we don't hear very often about, the
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  picture is worth a thousand words.
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  All you gotta do is just look at the picture and you're good.
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  Because a dude chopped the roof, opened up the passenger side cockpit
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  area, and put his nine million pound steer In the passenger seat, proceeded
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  to transport it down the road.
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  This is like a Top Gear special, isn't it?
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  This thing is like a what?
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  Well, like a Lumina?
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  What is this thing?
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  It's a Ford of some sort.
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  It's a Crown Victoria.
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  For the last place, it says boy and dog.
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  He's clearly not a boy and a dog.
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  No, he's got like the matching horns.
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  On the front, too, like Yosemite Sam.
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  This is unreal!
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  But I wanna know what modifications are made to the suspension on that side of
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  the car because that thing is dead flat!
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  It is not sagging!
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  That bull must weigh more than the car, probably!
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  The, uh, Richard Petty edition.
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  Yeah, it is.
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  You should have painted it blue.
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  Damn, missed opportunity.
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  I love the brush guard to the right of the bull.
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  It looks like something off of a barn or stable or something.
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  This is nuts.
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  I thought that was a ladder, so you could get on top of the bull and ride.
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  Maybe that comforting to the bull having that.
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  If it was Florida, the vehicle would have been stopped and they
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  would have fled on the bull into the swamp, never to be found again.
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  The cops would have been just befuddled.
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  But I love the title of this.
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  Moving violation.
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  I mean, if there was ever a pun to be had, the best part is I took
• 4:00
  the article from clickorlando.
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  com, baby.
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  Florida's reporting on it.
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  Florida's reporting about Nebraska.
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  Go and look at those guys.
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  They're legit.
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  Hey Nebraska, hold up here.
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  What does that smell like?
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  That's what I want to know.
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  The bull.
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  Open air.
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  It's got that farm fresh smell, you know.
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  Maybe it was powered on methane.
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  It's an alternative fuel vehicle.
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  Yeah.
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  Suction to the back of the bull.
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  Open butthole, bull!
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  They just opened HOV lanes in Nebraska.
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  This poor farmer was by himself.
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  He needed a plus one.
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  This was his answer.
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  I figured it out.
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  It's not an HOV lane.
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  It's a hoove lane.
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  Ha ha ha ha!
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  In Colorado...
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  Oh, The gall of some people.
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  I don't even know if that's the right thing to say, but...
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  Don't drink and drive.
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  Always at public service now.
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  Please don't drive under the influence of any type of substance.
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  Suspected DUI driver leaps from car.
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  Implies the dog was driving.
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  Fido is the one responsible for the car accident.
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  Can you imagine?
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  How am I supposed to be here?
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  The dog ate his homework and drove him to school.
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  I mean, shit.
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  You know?
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  And he ran.
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  He fled.
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  And guess how far he got?
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  Not very far.
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  20 yards.
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  He made it two first downs and then was caught.
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  He sucks.
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  This guy can not run for shit.
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  He, we, I wonder if it was a straight line he was running in.
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  In fairness, he didn't have a collision, but he was driving.
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  enough under that influence.
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  The dog was responsible.
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  Sorry, the dog that he allowed to drive the car was not well
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  equipped, just like cats.
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  No opposable thumbs.
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  Did the dog have his learner's permit?
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  You know, you should have your dog taken away from you.
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  I mean, that's protecting the dog at that point.
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  I mean, I'm sure there's somebody in PETA who's like, this man endangered the dog.
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  A hundred percent.
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  Dogs are not supposed to operate heavy machinery.
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  I'm going to.
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  Venture a guess that a dispensary was involved at some point.
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  So that was a little bit of lighthearted humor.
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  So now we can take a trip down South to Florida, man, where this one is, this
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  one's a public safety announcement.
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  You know, don't do drugs.
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  We've been fighting that war since the Bush administration.
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  You know, don't drink and drive.
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  Don't do drugs and drive.
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  And don't do so many drugs that you drive through a cemetery
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  mowing down all the tombstones and headstones and then exit the cemetery
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  and drive into somebody's house.
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  Wasn't that a scene in like Evil Dead?
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  Like, I feel like this is like a Bruce Campbell film.
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  Driving a Delta 88 through a cemetery knocking over tombstones.
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  So what?
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  Florida man drove through cemetery, damaged headstones.
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  Crashed into house.
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  Oh, that's the best part.
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  Was it the undertaker's house?
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  ? I don't know.
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  But he cleared the cemetery, crossed the street, went through a fence,
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  and then into somebody's house.
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  And here the owner of the house thought the neighbors were quiet.
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  I wanna know what he was driving.
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  He mowed down some cement blocks.
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  It was a 78 Pontiac Phoenix Liftback.
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  Went through a fence and wasn't stopped till he went into a house.
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  It was a Kia Telluride, AX4 Pro.
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  You know what it was?
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  That person's driveway was on his GPS and it said it was
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  a road through the cemetery.
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  Meanwhile, the NecroComicon was on his back seat, but we'll
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  leave that for another episode.
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  Meanwhile, he stole that car so it wasn't even his.
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  We're going to jump to the other coast, to Pennsylvania.
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  Pennsylvania coast.
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  Does Pennsylvania have a coast?
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  I mean Jersey.
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  Pennsylvania's coast is Jersey.
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  I meant we're moving from the western side of the U.
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  S.
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  to the east coast, of which Pennsylvania is not directly on it, but we're moving
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  to the eastern side of the United States.
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  I apologize.
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  Oh my god.
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  What the hell is this?
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  Exactly.
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  Pennsylvania man allegedly crashed his Toyota Corolla into a house
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  intentionally, and he wound up wedged into the second floor of this house.
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  Ha ha ha!
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  The picture alone, I'm like, there must have been like a ramp when I
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  think there was some sort of berm embankment and he like turned and he
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  shot Dukes of Hazzard and then ended it up in the second floor of this house.
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  Oh, how fast was he going?
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  I don't know.
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  Why did he do it on purpose?
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  That's another question that is not unexplained.
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  Can you imagine being in your bedroom on the second floor and a car comes
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  crashing through the side of the house?
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  No, I mean.
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  Unbelievable.
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  But you know, testament to those Pennsylvania houses.
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  Right.
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  It didn't collapse.
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  Right.
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  Into the first floor.
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  It's just hanging there like a lawn dart.
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  It just like busted a hole in the side of it.
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  And otherwise it's fine.
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  Like the gutter is a little bent on the front porch roof.
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  It was like that.
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  Oh, it was.
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  Apparently there are houses that are built hurricane proof and
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  storm proof and whatever proof.
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  Pennsylvania houses are Toyota proof.
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  So there you go.
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  So, last month, we talked about the new Netflix series called Fleur de Mer, and
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  I vowed to you guys that I was going to watch it, and as promised, I did.
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  I binged it.
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  I watched every episode.
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  Despite the previews that show you the raccoon, aquanet, blowtorch,
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  and all the other stuff that's going on, it is not what you think it is.
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  It's not a Florida man putting wagon wheels on a Tesla and driving around.
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  Nope, nope, nope.
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  So, it is definitely a drama.
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  It's dark.
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  It's like a mobster type of thing.
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  So I think Bateman produces it, so he did Ozarks?
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  Correct.
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  And so it has that Ozarks feel to it, right?
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  It is a little gritty at times.
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  The cast is interesting.
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  Anthony La Paglia plays the father of the Florida man.
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  Some hilarity ensues.
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  There is some stupid stuff that happens.
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  The most entertaining Florida man esque as we like to report it on this show
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  is with the news reporter and it's usually in the background of the scene
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  and she'll be reporting upon like the stuff that we talk about, Florida man
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  goes on golf course and crashes in the telephone pole and 20 miles an hour and
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  blows up his car and an alligator eats him, you know, all that kind of stuff.
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  And it, and so that's in the background.
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  And then there is another sort of ancillary character in the show that
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  pops up and it all starts with him trying to bring a gun into Florida and
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  buy a gun and he's a cop and like all this and he ends up like your typical
• 10:45
  Florida man that we talk about in these stories he's like he's wearing his
• 10:48
  basketball jersey and he's got crocs and he's like beat up and he's dirty.
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  And he shows up at one point on a mini bike that he stole that character sort
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  of epitomizes all the things that we joke about, but it's not the theme of the show.
• 11:03
  The show is to your point, Tanya, more like Ozarks, it's drug running and
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  they're looking for gold and there's a mobster involved and like all this kind
• 11:11
  of stuff, people backstabbing each other.
• 11:14
  It's not bad.
• 11:15
  It's actually excellent.
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  I highly recommend watching it.
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  It was a great couple hours of these eight episodes.
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  By all means, watch it.
• 11:23
  It's actually quite good, but don't go into the expectations of it being
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  like we joked about a continuation of my name is Earl because it's not, it
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  sounds like a Florida man origin story.
• 11:34
  It's sort of click baity in the sense that they called it Florida man to
• 11:38
  be sort of like tiger King, where you want to jump in there and I'm
• 11:41
  like, I got to watch Florida, man.
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  They could have called it something else.
• 11:45
  Like, I don't want to say it's like Magnum PI.
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  It's more like in that genre of.
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  He was a cop and like all this stuff happens to him.
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  And it's like a series of unfortunate events.
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  And they're not that funny.
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  You know, there are things that happen to him.
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  And he's, you know, he's trying to work back from that.
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  You know, a rose by any other name is still the same.
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  But yeah, the Florida man thing gets you.
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  But I recommend you guys got to watch it.
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  It's on my list.
• 12:09
  I just haven't gotten around to it yet.
• 12:11
  Gotta finish up Love is Blind.
• 12:12
  Love Island.
• 12:12
  Is that what you said you're watching?
• 12:13
  No.
• 12:16
  We would be remiss if we didn't talk about Tesla geek.
• 12:20
  Poor Tesla.
• 12:21
  All right.
• 12:22
  This one doesn't have a link.
• 12:23
  It was something I heard on the radio yesterday morning,
• 12:26
  which was a very bizarre story.
• 12:28
  The radio host was talking about his encounter in an
• 12:31
  Uber recently, a Tesla Uber.
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  So it was a Model 3 and he got to just chatting with the
• 12:38
  driver like, Oh, electric car.
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  How do you like it?
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  Like I was thinking about getting an EV, blah, blah.
• 12:42
  Dude's like, you want to drive my car?
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  And the guy's like, Uh, no, man, I'm good.
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  Dude was like, no, you have to drive this car.
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  Like, if you're interested, you need to.
• 12:54
  Jets out, makes him get in the driver's seat.
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  So now he's driving his own Uber and then proceeds to be like, okay, they're
• 13:01
  driving around, he's heading home.
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  And then he's like, Oh, but you really got to open it up.
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  Get on the JFX.
• 13:08
  So if you're from Baltimore local, you'll understand what that means.
• 13:11
  He's like, you know, get on it.
• 13:13
  And he's like, no, man, I'm good.
• 13:14
  No, no, you really got to like, open it up and, and experience it.
• 13:17
  So you're like, he said, he accelerated a little bit.
• 13:19
  And the guy was like, no, get on it.
• 13:22
  Dude was sitting Telling him to, like, just, you know, go balls on
• 13:27
  his, like, Tesla to this perfect stranger that, like, got in his
• 13:32
  backseat that he doesn't even know.
• 13:34
  Dude said he was just, like, freaking out and just finally, like,
• 13:37
  pulled up to his, like, home and was like, all right, thanks, man.
• 13:42
  Unreal.
• 13:43
  He was like, I was so scared.
• 13:45
  He's like, what's the liability if something had happened
• 13:47
  and I was driving the Uber?
• 13:51
  Oh my God, that's ridiculous.
• 13:53
  So watch out if you're in Baltimore, getting in an Uber.
• 13:57
  You might have to drive your own Uber.
• 13:59
  You might have to pay and drive your own Uber.
• 14:02
  For some reason, I thought you were going to say that the car was stolen.
• 14:06
  When I think about this entire story, is it really an Uber or is that a rental car?
• 14:11
  It's a Toro.
• 14:12
  What star review do you give?
• 14:13
  Do you like rate yourself?
• 14:15
  My Uber driver was really good.
• 14:17
  It was me.
• 14:18
  I got here real quick.
• 14:19
  I tell you, if that guy gave me the opportunity to drive his car, five star
• 14:23
  rating and like 50 percent tip, I would have been like, bro, you're awesome.
• 14:26
  This is cool.
• 14:29
  He might've been giving you a one star review though.
• 14:34
  I didn't know my Tesla could do that.
• 14:37
  Look at that drift.
• 14:38
  I'm telling you, SpaceX conspiracy.
• 14:42
  You can't get to work.
• 14:43
  Yes.
• 14:44
  Telling you Elon Musk is the devil.
• 14:47
  Well, there you have it.
• 14:48
  But speaking of what a Tesla can or cannot do going to California,
• 14:53
  Mono city, wherever that is.
• 14:55
  I don't know.
• 14:56
  I think recently there's been some storms.
• 14:58
  This, that, and the other.
• 14:59
  Good for them, they need water.
• 15:01
  And this dude was driving down some road, down the full self driving mode.
• 15:06
  There was a sign, flooded area up ahead.
• 15:08
  Oh, it's probably not real, there's always a flooded sign out there.
• 15:12
  Okay, there was some water in the road.
• 15:14
  The full self driving doesn't know how to interpret that.
• 15:18
  So he kept driving.
• 15:19
  There's a video of this.
• 15:20
  It's pretty funny.
• 15:21
  Seemingly drives through the initial puddle, which wasn't too deep.
• 15:24
  Honestly, as soon as it hits traction again, though, the thing goes like crazy
• 15:30
  and just like jerks to the left, swerves off the road, dude ends up basically water
• 15:36
  up to the door, almost to the windows, like in a ditch off the side of the road.
• 15:42
  I can't imagine what that bill is going to be because like the bumper was like
• 15:45
  hanging off and everything's wet now.
• 15:48
  So what's funny about the picture, that's the cover photo of the video.
• 15:52
  Yes.
• 15:53
  When I first looked at it, I couldn't tell if that was dirt or alligators.
• 15:57
  Doesn't it look like it was taken gators.
• 16:03
  Yes, it does.
• 16:04
  And the guy's like blurry and getting out of the passenger seat.
• 16:07
  It's not now.
• 16:09
  He goes through a flash flood, and then ends up in a pond?
• 16:12
  Like, I mean, what are the chances?
• 16:14
  First of all, what was he doing?
• 16:16
  Because the full self driving failed, but you could have tried
• 16:19
  to take control of the car.
• 16:20
  At that point, probably couldn't, because it was forced the steering wheel or
• 16:23
  whatever, but like, you could have also anticipated like, using your brain,
• 16:26
  like, oh, there's actually standing water up, because you could clearly see it!
• 16:29
  In the dash cams of the Tesla, the rational person would have maybe
• 16:33
  hit the brakes and taken it out of full self drive and, you know,
• 16:36
  cautiously driven through there.
• 16:37
  I wonder how much water it took on because of the precise micron
• 16:42
  of the panel gaps of the doors.
• 16:45
  And we know how good the seals are on the Tesla 3.
• 16:48
  A lot of water because these still are made with Home Depot parts.
• 16:50
  Yeah.
• 16:51
  Yeah.
• 16:51
  So it was a kiddie pool inside.
• 16:53
  Maybe it knew it was going to combust.
• 16:55
  So it drove into the water to keep.
• 16:59
  Yeah.
• 17:00
  Funny as that sounds to say, it actually makes my brain kind of spin into a
• 17:05
  more serious direction to say, what if there was leakage in the battery area
• 17:11
  and suddenly now he's got water in there in the containment part, right?
• 17:14
  This could have turned out really, really poorly for this guy.
• 17:17
  To Tanya's point, look ahead, think ahead.
• 17:19
  Don't let the car drive for you because with these EVs, all it takes
• 17:24
  is one little leak and the next thing you know, you're in the middle of a
• 17:27
  serious hazmat and electrical issue.
• 17:29
  What the hell is full self driving mode?
• 17:32
  That is autonomous level 27.
• 17:34
  Remember?
• 17:35
  That means that you can recline your seat.
• 17:37
  Go to sleep.
• 17:37
  Oh, just kidding.
• 17:38
  That means that you have to have your hands on the steering
• 17:41
  wheel, but the car will drive itself better than a human being.
• 17:44
  So how is this different than autopilot?
• 17:46
  It's what they call their autopilot.
• 17:48
  Oh, I thought they called autopilot autopilot.
• 17:50
  They keep changing the name.
• 17:51
  So we think it's something different.
• 17:53
  That's all.
• 17:53
  Yeah, because they keep getting in lawsuits for the name of the product.
• 17:58
  I think I'm on to something, you know, how the Tesla's have an issue
• 18:02
  with the flashing lights and at night, and you know, the autonomous
• 18:05
  self driving I've been watching.
• 18:07
  My robot vacuum cleaner and how it operates.
• 18:10
  And I thought to myself, if it shares the same software with a Tesla in any
• 18:14
  way, in terms of its autonomy and how it drives around, it makes sense why
• 18:19
  the Teslas are attracted to the flashing lights because it does some crazy stuff.
• 18:23
  I'm picturing you sitting in your living room, just studying your robotic.
• 18:27
  Vacuum clean with the notepad.
• 18:31
  Oh, you, you joke.
• 18:33
  No, that is for real.
• 18:35
  That's how I can picture it.
• 18:36
  I can just do it and your wife walking and go, what are you doing?
• 18:39
  I'm just watching the vacuum cleaner.
• 18:41
  That makes sense.
• 18:43
  It's a behavioral study.
• 18:44
  Okay.
• 18:45
  But some of the things it does, I'm like, huh.
• 18:48
  Makes sense now.
• 18:49
  Yeah, I get it.
• 18:54
  The hole keeps getting deeper.
• 18:57
  A driver in Germany apparently had his license taken away.
• 19:01
  He was driving a Tesla on the Audubon at 70 miles an hour, which on the
• 19:05
  Audubon, that's, that's nothing.
• 19:06
  That's slow.
• 19:07
  That's, yeah, it's a Sunday drive.
• 19:09
  The kicker here though was that It took 15 minutes for him to pull the
• 19:16
  vehicle over with the cops around him because he had reclined the seat,
• 19:22
  tricked the autopilot with a weight on the steering wheel, and was sleeping.
• 19:26
  I was just about to say there's no way this story is false because
• 19:30
  he wasn't driving his Tesla.
• 19:31
  Tesla drives itself.
• 19:33
  Was it bouncing off of the other police cars?
• 19:35
  You know what?
• 19:36
  Given all of the incidents where the Teslas have gotten confused with flashing
• 19:42
  emergency vehicle and police vehicle lights, it's a wonder it didn't crash.
• 19:47
  All right, so now we're going to come back over to the States and we're going to go
• 19:51
  to the Midwest, to Ohio, where from the video footage, kind of funny, thankfully
• 19:57
  they weren't hurt, but apparently some youths, 16, 17 year olds, tried to dine
• 20:02
  and dash from an Ohio Buffalo Wild Wings.
• 20:06
  And somehow one of the Buffalo Wild Wing employees ended up on the hood of this
• 20:11
  BMW as they're speeding away and then eventually crash into like a snow bank.
• 20:18
  Is this a Ohio thing?
• 20:20
  I mean, it's comical from the video.
• 20:22
  Like, luckily that guy's not hurt.
• 20:24
  But also, it didn't explain how that guy got on the hood.
• 20:27
  He jumped or was they attempted to run over him one or the other, right?
• 20:31
  I'm thinking probably the run over and he had no choice but to strap on and pray.
• 20:36
  Why does this look like the mall scene from Back to the Future?
• 20:39
  Right?
• 20:40
  It does, right?
• 20:40
  Totally expecting a Banigan to run out and, you know, like
• 20:43
  some terrorists or something.
• 20:44
  Like, what is this?
• 20:46
  I'll tell you what, if I was employed by a Buffalo Wild Wings, I would tell them...
• 20:51
  In the interview process, if someone dines and dash, you can go get your own money.
• 20:55
  I'm not jumping on the hood of a car to get your money for a 30 check.
• 20:58
  You can kiss my ass.
• 21:00
  Yeah, yeah, pretty much.
• 21:02
  Let's go back.
• 21:03
  Gotta go back in time.
• 21:05
  Little northwest here and go to Indiana.
• 21:08
  I don't think we've heard from Indiana before.
• 21:11
  Nope.
• 21:11
  We should hear more from Indiana.
• 21:13
  Indiana man dressed as Pikachu ran from police on lawnmower!
• 21:19
  Is he running or is he on a lawnmower?
• 21:21
  And you know, when you read the article, there are just puns at this
• 21:26
  time, we believe Pikachu acted alone.
• 21:28
  No other Pokemon characters were involved in this incident
• 21:32
  from the police department.
• 21:33
  However, we are not opposed to catching them all.
• 21:36
  The police officer wished he had a pokeball in order to help
• 21:39
  him catch the wild Pikachu.
• 21:41
  The deputy attempted to pull the lawnmower over, but the man dressed as Pikachu
• 21:45
  responded with a shock by flipping off the deputy as he sped away best he could.
• 21:51
  Police said the, quote, pursuit of lawnmower Pikachu went for a few
• 21:56
  blocks before the deputy broke off the chase due to the driving of
• 22:00
  the lawnmower becoming more erratic and dangerous, even at one point
• 22:04
  attempting to hit the deputy's vehicle.
• 22:06
  Which high school creative writing class was this submitted for?
• 22:10
  This article is awesome.
• 22:11
  It's got, it touches everything.
• 22:13
  There's drama.
• 22:14
  There's profanity.
• 22:15
  Intrigue.
• 22:16
  There's intrigue.
• 22:19
  We need to hear more from the people of the great state of Indiana.
• 22:21
  They, they got some winners there.
• 22:23
  You know what?
• 22:24
  I thought it was going to be light on Florida man.
• 22:26
  And at the 11th hour, I was like, let me look again.
• 22:29
  And.
• 22:30
  You just Google search for Florida man and see what comes up.
• 22:33
  Oh, that's what I always do.
• 22:37
  I didn't know it was a secret.
• 22:40
  No, I kid you not.
• 22:41
  I had a meeting at work.
• 22:43
  Somehow this came up and people didn't know if you just put Florida
• 22:47
  man or Florida man stories into Google what it gives you back.
• 22:51
  Three people in the meeting didn't know and they did it and
• 22:54
  their faces like hit the floor.
• 22:56
  You just do Florida man.
• 22:58
  Click news.
• 22:59
  So it filters down and you just got headline after headline after.
• 23:02
  Oh yeah.
• 23:02
  They were beside themselves.
• 23:03
  And then the one guy just busted out laughing.
• 23:06
  I think he got like to the bottom of it and he saw
• 23:08
  something that got his attention.
• 23:10
  And he's like, Oh my God, I didn't know this was a thing.
• 23:12
  And I'm like, what kind of rock have you been living under?
• 23:15
  I mean, you can do it with it.
• 23:16
  You can do any state, Maryland man, Texas man, Michigan man,
• 23:19
  Michigan woman, California woman, you know, do whatever you want.
• 23:24
  Filter all the news headlines.
• 23:25
  But the Florida man is always the most entertaining.
• 23:28
  It's a special breed, it really is.
• 23:30
  And we'll see that here, I, they got some nuggets, I wasn't expecting them.
• 23:34
  We're gonna go up into the great northwest.
• 23:36
  I haven't read any of these, I'm going in blind.
• 23:38
  For an Oregon man.
• 23:39
  Oh, in celebration of herb day, we're going to Oregon.
• 23:43
  Oregon.
• 23:44
  Oregano.
• 23:44
  Well, speaking of things that are green, this dude decided to Wipe out all his
• 23:51
  family's bank account, 200, 000, drive down the highway and literally make
• 23:57
  it rain 100 hundos out the window.
• 24:02
  Of his Hyundai?
• 24:02
  It was a Chevy Malibu.
• 24:04
  Obvi, chaos kind of ensued because when people realized there were hundos
• 24:09
  flying around, everybody was pulling over and like collecting all the money.
• 24:13
  What possesses a person to do that?
• 24:15
  He wanted to share his money generously with others.
• 24:19
  Except you just ripped off your There must be more to that story.
• 24:22
  Nonetheless, if you were in Oregon that day on highwayyyyyy
• 24:27
  Something or other, you might've had a little early present there.
• 24:32
  We'll call that a tax return.
• 24:34
  This is like when the beer truck turns over.
• 24:37
  Yes, exactly.
• 24:38
  People are scrambling to get cases of beer.
• 24:40
  When it's bud light nobody wants it, that's the problem.
• 24:42
  They're like, I don't even want to clean this up.
• 24:43
  There's a lot of people out there with no taste.
• 24:47
  It's half the calories in the same taste, Brad.
• 24:50
  Like I said, no taste.
• 24:51
  So let's go back down to Florida.
• 24:54
  Apparently in certain areas in Florida, you are prohibited from parking
• 25:00
  your pickup truck in your driveway.
• 25:02
  Maybe if you've got Extended Cab, Big Horn, King's Ranch, Quadruly,
• 25:09
  whatever that's like larger than your driveway sticks out into the
• 25:14
  street, I could maybe understand.
• 25:17
  However.
• 25:18
  This person has a Rivian, like that's a little baby pickup truck,
• 25:23
  and it's so cute, and he's not allowed to park it in the driveway?
• 25:27
  I think he needs to move.
• 25:29
  This is not exclusive to Florida either.
• 25:31
  People that live in Maryland are probably very familiar.
• 25:33
  Montgomery Village has very similar HOA laws, where basically anybody with
• 25:37
  a pickup truck, you're not allowed to have it parked in your driveway
• 25:40
  overnight, you have to park it on the street, because it's considered, it's
• 25:44
  seen as like a contractor vehicle, and they don't want that type of...
• 25:48
  Image, image in their town.
• 25:50
  But how is the image not there?
• 25:51
  If it's parked in front of my house looking like it's someone who doesn't
• 25:55
  belong there and is there to service my house, , usually if somebody's there
• 26:00
  to service your house, they're not gonna be spending the night, so the
• 26:02
  truck's not gonna be there overnight.
• 26:03
  You can have it in your driveway during the day, but it, it
• 26:06
  cannot be there overnight.
• 26:07
  But I can park my personal vehicle in front of my property
• 26:09
  overnight, not according to the HOA.
• 26:12
  So then where the hell do I park my car?
• 26:13
  There are streets.
• 26:15
  Designated for parking.
• 26:17
  This is why suck period.
• 26:20
  Now, I think an argument could be made that a Rivian is not
• 26:24
  decreasing the aesthetic appeal of a neighborhood, but no pickup truck.
• 26:29
  It's it's.
• 26:30
  Black and white pickup truck, just plain and simple.
• 26:32
  But whatever a quadruly is...
• 26:35
  Yes.
• 26:39
  That's the future.
• 26:40
  That's Tanya's truck, which she designs with.
• 26:43
  That's what that Ford is called, the Ford F 350 quadruly.
• 26:46
  This is why I don't have a pickup truck yet, because they haven't
• 26:49
  built the pickup truck that I want.
• 26:51
  I don't just want two wheels on the back of each rear, I want four effing wheels.
• 26:59
  Eight wheels in the back.
• 27:01
  You want an eight wheel Rivian?
• 27:03
  It's quadruly.
• 27:04
  You want four up front, four in the back.
• 27:08
  That way.
• 27:08
  It's business and business.
• 27:10
  It's none of this business and party nonsense.
• 27:12
  It's just I got a loud mulch to hold.
• 27:15
  All right.
• 27:15
  I need my Quad . Quad quadri.
• 27:19
  That's the opera male version.
• 27:22
  The Quadri
• 27:26
  I will say that if I owned a hundred thousand dollars Rivian.
• 27:31
  I'd be parking it in my garage.
• 27:33
  Right?
• 27:34
  Well, how is she going to charge it?
• 27:35
  Are you going to run an extension cord out to your pickup truck in your driveway?
• 27:38
  So we're going to stay in Florida.
• 27:40
  I couldn't decide who was better, Florida man or the Washington woman.
• 27:45
  Oh, boy.
• 27:46
  But since we're in Florida, let's stay in Florida.
• 27:48
  This reminds me of our early drive thru episodes and the lady that
• 27:52
  set her boyfriend's Jeep on fire.
• 27:54
  With the Wiccans.
• 27:55
  Yeah, I'm having flashbacks.
• 27:58
  So Florida man doing donuts at intersection and allegedly hits patrol
• 28:04
  car before crashing his own car.
• 28:06
  Two questions, cars and coffee, Tesla, Mustang.
• 28:10
  No, this appears at least by the photo to have been late at night.
• 28:15
  He was found driving recklessly ahead of this, drove over a
• 28:20
  raised median, went into a slide.
• 28:22
  I don't know.
• 28:23
  At some point then, I guess.
• 28:24
  F it, let's do donuts.
• 28:27
  In his Chrysler Sebring.
• 28:29
  It actually says he, he got stopped, and then he reversed, backed into the
• 28:34
  police car, so he knew it was there.
• 28:36
  While he yells out the window, I DRIVE A DODGE STRATOS!
• 28:40
  I don't know.
• 28:41
  I'm thinking he was driving this pickup truck.
• 28:43
  It's a Dodge Ram.
• 28:45
  He rammed it.
• 28:46
  Yeah.
• 28:47
  So he hits a patrol car before crashing his own.
• 28:50
  It's a little confusing the order of operations.
• 28:53
  Yeah, wouldn't hitting the patrol car constitute a crash?
• 28:56
  It was rubbing.
• 28:57
  Because he was driven was racing.
• 28:59
  I didn't even think they said he was under the influence of anything.
• 29:02
  So go figure.
• 29:03
  He was under the influence of Florida.
• 29:05
  He was hooning.
• 29:06
  It's called hooning.
• 29:08
  Well, I think this next one is borderline Florida man story, and it should
• 29:12
  probably read Georgia man, Tanya.
• 29:16
  Carvana sells another stolen car.
• 29:18
  Here we go again.
• 29:19
  So, somebody dials in their cell phone.
• 29:22
  I have a car to sell to you, Carvana.
• 29:24
  Um, pick it up.
• 29:25
  Ram 1500.
• 29:27
  Never been in an accident.
• 29:28
  Gray color.
• 29:29
  Oh, we'll offer you this much for it.
• 29:31
  Cool, we'll stop by and pick it up.
• 29:33
  And in fact, it's not even your car.
• 29:35
  Brilliant.
• 29:35
  And this is not the first time this has happened.
• 29:38
  I was wondering about this.
• 29:39
  Like, how many stolen cars...
• 29:41
  Are going to end up on something like Carvana where it is like touchless.
• 29:46
  We have an article on our website.
• 29:48
  One of our members wrote about buying a car off Carvana from the giant car
• 29:52
  vending machine and how easy it was.
• 29:54
  And you know, they didn't need to go see anything or do anything.
• 29:56
  And then they just showed up.
• 29:58
  But imagine that they showed up and that Ram 1500 belonged to somebody else.
• 30:03
  And the police show up right behind it.
• 30:05
  Those guys that were stealing the cars up in Detroit off of
• 30:08
  the manufacturer's storage lots.
• 30:10
  And then they're taking like the Arizona way out west and selling them,
• 30:14
  forging documents, what have you.
• 30:16
  The person thought they bought a legitimate car and then a couple
• 30:19
  months later, knock at the door, we're taking that car because it's
• 30:22
  still, then they're out that money.
• 30:24
  It's like, well, wait, how do I get my cash?
• 30:25
  Sorry, you're shit out of luck.
• 30:27
  It's like, well, wait a minute.
• 30:28
  I gave this dude 80 grand for this car and what, and you're telling me
• 30:31
  I can't, I mean, how's that right?
• 30:33
  They titled it everything through the state.
• 30:36
  Should the state be at fault here because they didn't catch it?
• 30:39
  It's like, how is it my fault?
• 30:40
  You know, everything looked legit.
• 30:41
  The state didn't catch it.
• 30:43
  The government did not catch it where it's set up to supposedly
• 30:46
  catch this kind of stuff.
• 30:47
  Now I'm out that money.
• 30:49
  That guy's owed a car at the end of the day.
• 30:51
  That's what he is.
• 30:51
  Yeah, I'd be livid.
• 30:53
  And here's the other thing on a side notice.
• 30:55
  I don't care where the car's at and I'm buying something.
• 30:57
  I'm gonna go look at the thing before I turn over my money.
• 31:00
  I'm gonna put my hands on the fucking thing.
• 31:01
  It's as sketchy as those.
• 31:03
  I hate to equate them to the Nigerian Prince emails, you know, spam that
• 31:07
  we used to get, but you do get those like offers and we had a guy sell a
• 31:11
  Porsche from someone that emailed him.
• 31:13
  I'm in Germany and I'm going to arrange for the pickup and I'm like,
• 31:15
  Oh my God, you fell for that scam.
• 31:17
  Like you did it.
• 31:18
  And he goes, man, I went through the, I got paid, I got cash, the car disappeared.
• 31:21
  I'm like, wow.
• 31:23
  I mean, all I could say was just, wow, like you did it because
• 31:26
  those to me have always been super sketchy and super scammy.
• 31:30
  And I kind of view.
• 31:32
  In a way, the Carvana is the same thing because you're so
• 31:35
  disconnected from the process.
• 31:36
  Not that I enjoy going to a used car lot or going to a dealership
• 31:40
  and going through that rigmarole.
• 31:42
  So there's got to be a happy medium between the two, but to be
• 31:44
  totally disconnected like this.
• 31:46
  Yeah, but it's fraud on the part of the thieves because they actually
• 31:50
  circumvented the VIN number.
• 31:51
  They had fake VIN numbers that they replaced on the car.
• 31:54
  So, you know, you have to supply the VIN number and the title.
• 31:56
  That gets checked through the DMV system.
• 31:58
  If you provided fraudulent information that does match some
• 32:02
  RAM somewhere, who's catching that?
• 32:05
  Even if you rolled up to the dealer, they're going to go, Oh, unless
• 32:08
  they're astute enough to go, let me cross check another place on the
• 32:12
  vehicle where the VIN is, and then realize, Oh, these don't match.
• 32:15
  There's something wrong here, right?
• 32:16
  That's why BMW puts a VIN on everything.
• 32:19
  Every panel on the car has a VIN number on it.
• 32:22
  Well, again, it boils down to just doing due diligence in regards
• 32:26
  to checking everything and just not taking someone's word for it.
• 32:30
  Brad, Tonya, and I joked about the possibility with respect to, you know,
• 32:35
  color changing cars and what if they did this and what if they did that?
• 32:39
  And then comes along, that'll be the part of another Florida
• 32:42
  man story here in the future.
• 32:43
  A digitized license plate?
• 32:45
  Okay, I'm gonna ask you very matter of factly, why?
• 32:49
  Yeah, why?
• 32:50
  That's the reason, why?
• 32:52
  And that's asked, why would you want one?
• 32:54
  I've been trying to find the answer to that in the article
• 32:58
  and I don't see a good answer.
• 33:03
  The biggest reason is most likely aesthetics.
• 33:06
  Really?
• 33:07
  Why do I care, but also, am I really willing to pay like 700 for this plate
• 33:13
  plus a yearly subscription fee to have it?
• 33:17
  My metal plate's not costing me anything.
• 33:20
  What happens when that digital plate shorts out and a couple digits are
• 33:24
  missing and you get pulled over?
• 33:27
  You get a waiver for that, right?
• 33:28
  And you got to take it to an electrical engineer.
• 33:30
  Can someone hack into it?
• 33:31
  Like, how is that working?
• 33:32
  Is it like Bluetooth, Wi Fi?
• 33:34
  Although...
• 33:35
  The benefit of that would be like your car gets stolen and you like change it to say
• 33:40
  stolen until somebody rips the tag off.
• 33:42
  But you know, help me.
• 33:45
  Anybody remember the transporter movie?
• 33:47
  The first one, he goes into the locker and he's got this revolving
• 33:50
  thing, metal license plates.
• 33:51
  What did it take?
• 33:51
  Two screws, change the license plate.
• 33:54
  Good to go.
• 33:54
  Yes, I know.
• 33:55
  I know.
• 33:56
  And I can rip it off with your hand.
• 33:58
  But here's the thing from an aesthetics perspective, this falls
• 34:01
  right in line with the completely led.
• 34:05
  Programmable dashboards like we've seen in the Mustang, like we've seen
• 34:09
  in the Volkswagens, and some of the other cars where they're like, you
• 34:11
  want it to look like a 1938 Beetle?
• 34:14
  You can have the stereo look like that, or you can have the dash look like that.
• 34:17
  But if it's e ink screen, isn't it just going to look like a Kindle?
• 34:22
  But for the pictures, it looked like it was actually color.
• 34:26
  It was black and white in the picture.
• 34:28
  It's That's because it's in Texas mode.
• 34:32
  But think about this.
• 34:33
  You could use this digital plate to bring back retro
• 34:36
  plates that don't exist anymore.
• 34:38
  Like the old Maryland plate or the old Delaware plates or the
• 34:42
  old California plates or even some of the specialty plates.
• 34:44
  Granted, if you're going to be able to change it like a watch face,
• 34:47
  you know, from your Apple iPhone.
• 34:49
  Yeah, no.
• 34:50
  They're not going to do that, or how can they do that, right?
• 34:52
  Is that still going to be subscription based?
• 34:54
  Because the whole point of those specialty tags was, allegedly, the
• 34:58
  funds that you're paying a year.
• 34:59
  Because if you get those tags today as a metal plate, you
• 35:02
  have to pay for them yearly.
• 35:03
  But that money is supposed to, I don't know what proportion of it, is
• 35:07
  supposed to go to whatever the fund is.
• 35:08
  So like, save the bay plates.
• 35:10
  Your money is going to go.
• 35:12
  To save the bay, allegedly agriculture tags.
• 35:15
  Those are, I think, supposed to go to whatever agriculture
• 35:19
  industry is taking those funds.
• 35:20
  I don't know.
• 35:21
  So how do you do that?
• 35:23
  If you're able to switch your, it makes, it almost makes that obsolete.
• 35:26
  It does, but also super easy for you to change the style of your plate.
• 35:31
  Because this is what we need.
• 35:32
  We need some twit in their basement to make a dick, but license plate.
• 35:40
  But we know a few people that would actually put those on their car.
• 35:44
  So there's an ask for every seat.
• 35:46
  Daddy, what's that?
• 35:50
  Yeah, it ends poorly for everybody.
• 35:53
  I almost passed this one up because the headline said Florida men
• 35:56
  arrested driving with quote stolen tag written on cardboard plate.
• 36:00
  And I just glossed over.
• 36:01
  I was like, okay, Florida men arrested driving with a stolen tag.
• 36:04
  Yeah.
• 36:05
  And big deal.
• 36:06
  No, no, no.
• 36:07
  You read on.
• 36:09
  It was a piece of cardboard covering the license plate of this
• 36:13
  pickup truck with the word STOLEN TAG written on the cardboard.
• 36:22
  Are you kidding me?
• 36:24
  This belongs in, what was that?
• 36:25
  Do they still do that in World's Dumbest Criminals or whatever that was?
• 36:29
  Stupidest Criminals file?
• 36:31
  Like, really?
• 36:32
  Why don't you just, like, spray paint on the side of the car?
• 36:35
  Pull me over.
• 36:37
  And then the best part is, so they get pulled over, dash cam on the cop
• 36:41
  car is recording everything, right?
• 36:43
  And there's two people in the car, so the guy trying to get out the
• 36:45
  passenger falls out onto the ground.
• 36:49
  Another day, wherever.
• 36:51
  Them people in Florida, they be different.
• 36:53
  They just do things differently.
• 36:54
  But I think we need to talk about stale baguettes and brie.
• 36:57
  Well, I put this one in just for you.
• 36:59
  Oh, did you?
• 37:01
  So this guy did started this already, like several years ago.
• 37:05
  He's a carpenter.
• 37:06
  He's a cabinetmaker.
• 37:07
  Oh, And he built a 2CV out of wood.
• 37:13
  No, is this like that other guy that builds like Ferraris?
• 37:17
  It runs because he put the motor from another 2CV in it
• 37:22
  and he sold it for 224, 000.
• 37:24
  1, 000.
• 37:26
  How slow is it?
• 37:27
  It's got a way more than the real thing.
• 37:29
  It gets up to 50 miles an hour.
• 37:31
  Lies.
• 37:32
  Isn't that what the real one does?
• 37:33
  Off a cliff like those cars in Alaska that they've been throwing off the
• 37:37
  side of the mountain every year.
• 37:38
  No way it gets to 50.
• 37:40
  Allegedly.
• 37:41
  Honestly, this is how the original 2CV should have been built.
• 37:45
  It should have been wood.
• 37:46
  Well, it would have been biodegradable that way.
• 37:48
  The termites would have gotten to it.
• 37:49
  It would have been amazing.
• 37:50
  I don't know.
• 37:51
  It alleges capable of hitting 50.
• 37:53
  Now you can read into lies, lies, but he's a very young looking 74 year old.
• 37:58
  I will give him that.
• 38:00
  Listen to this.
• 38:02
  He looks like Charles Manson.
• 38:06
  He whittled it.
• 38:07
  From one piece of wood.
• 38:08
  Yeah, he was in jail.
• 38:09
  You know, he willed it out of The main body is made from
• 38:13
  apple and pear fruit trees.
• 38:16
  The front and back are walnut.
• 38:18
  The base for the doors and trunk are cherry wood.
• 38:21
  Wow.
• 38:22
  That is an expensive vehicle.
• 38:23
  Does it run on moths?
• 38:25
  It took him 5, 000 hours.
• 38:28
  And over five years to build who's going to do the math 5,
• 38:32
  000 hours divided by 250, 000.
• 38:33
  224, 224.
• 38:36
  What does that come out to?
• 38:38
  44 an hour, 44.
• 38:42
  Well, 224, 000 divided by 5, 000.
• 38:45
  That does not seem hardly worth it.
• 38:48
  I feel like that's not.
• 38:50
  Very profitable for the amount of time he put into it.
• 38:53
  He would have spent less time just restoring a 2CV.
• 38:57
  It was a labor of love, I guess, of passion.
• 39:00
  He was putting his carpentry skills to use.
• 39:02
  I'm not going to begin to try and understand why.
• 39:04
  So the bigger question is, how many times did he piss in the corner of his garage?
• 39:08
  Probably many, because...
• 39:10
  He used it to soften the wood.
• 39:16
  It's seasoned.
• 39:16
  Why does my car smell like piss?
• 39:18
  Because it's French.
• 39:19
  Apparently, this is a thing in France.
• 39:22
  And I was warned about this, that guys will just randomly
• 39:25
  pee while they're on the street.
• 39:27
  I didn't believe it until I saw it myself.
• 39:30
  And then you sort of like started to ignore it.
• 39:32
  You became desensitized to it.
• 39:33
  Except.
• 39:34
  For this personal Frenchman story that I have to share with you guys,
• 39:38
  I'm walking down the road with Ty.
• 39:39
  We're coming back from David's campsite.
• 39:41
  So imagine we have a 45 minute walk ahead of us.
• 39:44
  We're going down minding our own business, dimly lit sidewalks and whatever.
• 39:48
  And these two fine French gentlemen decide that they're going to hide themselves.
• 39:54
  By standing next to the only light pole on the street, facing away from
• 39:58
  each other, because they didn't want to see each other peeing, but facing
• 40:01
  the people that were walking on the sidewalk as they urinated in public.
• 40:06
  And it's like, are you serious?
• 40:10
  I mean, I understand that there aren't very many Portajohnies and stuff.
• 40:14
  They were lacking in a lot of things, trash cans and other things around there.
• 40:18
  But I'm just like, This is unreal.
• 40:21
  And the worst part is there's the streetlight right there.
• 40:24
  They're obviously inebriated, but there was a fence, like, I don't know, 12 feet
• 40:30
  to the side of where they were standing.
• 40:32
  They could have gone to the fence.
• 40:33
  Nope.
• 40:34
  We're going to hide ourselves because nobody can see us if we stand.
• 40:37
  By the label.
• 40:38
  Wow.
• 40:39
  And then in the article here, or in the little snippet, it says public
• 40:42
  urination is a problem in most big cities.
• 40:45
  That's why I will never live in a big city.
• 40:47
  So I didn't actually post that as a Florida man type subject.
• 40:51
  It's actually like an investigative news reporting on why this
• 40:55
  is so prevalent in France.
• 40:57
  It's for real.
• 40:58
  So is she telling you and they show you everywhere where there's just
• 41:02
  urine running down a sidewalk and they're interviewing people that are
• 41:06
  like so disgusting and they're talking about how they've been trying to
• 41:09
  like fix this situation that's been going on since like 18 something.
• 41:16
  I don't think it's going to change and people were saying, well, where'd you
• 41:20
  get that picture of the guy in the hat?
• 41:23
  And I'm like, I took that picture.
• 41:24
  I have the original, I zoomed in on him.
• 41:26
  He didn't see me taking his picture, but I could not pass up the opportunity to
• 41:31
  have a Burt Reynolds SNL jeopardy moment.
• 41:34
  But it looks like, what's his name from Top Gear?
• 41:37
  James May.
• 41:37
  Yes.
• 41:38
  It does look like James May.
• 41:39
  But that hat was Burt Reynolds big hat.
• 41:42
  Like, it was so funny.
• 41:44
  And he had an all red Ferrari suit.
• 41:47
  He's a British guy.
• 41:47
  We actually talked to him.
• 41:48
  Very nice.
• 41:49
  But I could not pass up the opportunity.
• 41:52
  To post that meme.
• 41:53
  And the second one came by way of Mark Schenck, who caught this guy
• 41:58
  while he was taking photographs.
• 42:00
  Apparently on your checklist of things for Lamont, you need to remember your hat.
• 42:05
  Your radio headset and your radar gun.
• 42:08
  He's got like a hundred tattoos and they're all LeMans.
• 42:11
  They're all Christopher Walken.
• 42:13
  No, he's got like the Dunlop tire arch across his back.
• 42:17
  It's like Jackie Ickx and Tom Christensen on there.
• 42:20
  It's like he's got Porsche and the Porsche symbol.
• 42:22
  He's got so many men's heads.
• 42:24
  I thought it was Christopher Walken.
• 42:26
  The one on the right shoulder looks like Christopher Walken.
• 42:29
  So when Mark showed me this picture, we had this whole discussion about
• 42:33
  apparently he was down by pit out and he's radar gunning the cars on pit exit.
• 42:38
  And we're like, is he going to radio the officials?
• 42:40
  Is he like the clandestine undercover pit Marshall?
• 42:44
  Like what's the point of bringing a radar gun?
• 42:46
  So Lamont and how do you get it through security?
• 42:49
  I mean, there's so many, this is like a French Florida man.
• 42:53
  He hit it in his butt crack.
• 42:55
  Was there actually security?
• 42:57
  Were they checking stuff?
• 42:58
  Yes.
• 42:58
  They were looking through your bags.
• 42:59
  Maybe he's an authorized radar gun.
• 43:02
  He definitely didn't hide it in his wife.
• 43:04
  Peter is that is hey, it's tie dye though.
• 43:08
  Okay.
• 43:08
  That makes it classy.
• 43:10
  Is that tie dye, or he's just, he had a Bic that blew up on Hoofords?
• 43:15
  Murdered a Smurf, I'm not sure.
• 43:16
  Now, I'd say this guy was from America, but unfortunately, I
• 43:21
  don't think that's the case.
• 43:23
  Nope.
• 43:23
  I think he's German.
• 43:24
  I was gonna say the same thing!
• 43:27
  He's definitely German.
• 43:28
  We're gonna do a little lit hug.
• 43:30
  You gotta love it when it starts with, Only in Florida.
• 43:34
  Yeah!
• 43:34
  Man spotted riding jet ski motorcycle in Cape Corral.
• 43:40
  Go ahead and click that link and check the picture out.
• 43:42
  He is literally on a jet ski converted to a motorcycle.
• 43:46
  What the hell is
• 43:51
  Why, why is this a problem?
• 43:53
  Well, apparently the police would offer that it probably is illegal,
• 43:58
  not having a license plate, not having headlights, not having a rear view mirror.
• 44:04
  So jet skis have headlights.
• 44:06
  You can have a headlight.
• 44:07
  Well, we don't know if this one has a headlight.
• 44:09
  It's probably as safe as if it was a regular motorcycle.
• 44:15
  It's amphibious.
• 44:16
  He did the Top Gear challenge and made an amphibious vehicle.
• 44:20
  He built this himself.
• 44:21
  I gave him props and him and his, his purple backpack.
• 44:24
  I can imagine how this chase scene should have played out.
• 44:28
  All he had to do was find a boat ramp.
• 44:30
  He'd be gone.
• 44:31
  Well, not even that wrap the throttle, bang a heart rate
• 44:35
  and go off into the swamp.
• 44:36
  Yes.
• 44:37
  This guy's got it figured out.
• 44:39
  This is the ultimate escape vehicle for Florida.
• 44:42
  Wow.
• 44:43
  You know what?
• 44:46
  He could be onto something.
• 44:47
  He truly needs to make them amphibious and he could be onto something.
• 44:52
  He could have a business.
• 44:53
  I love the detail that was put into this.
• 44:56
  Do you see the exhaust tip, how it comes out the back of
• 45:00
  like that fairing back there?
• 45:02
  It's just, he spent a lot of time making this work.
• 45:06
  This is amazing.
• 45:07
  It's that Florida man ingenuity.
• 45:08
  I love the backpack and the matching hat.
• 45:11
  He's going off to school riding his jet ski.
• 45:13
  I mean, he had a jet ski and he had a motorcycle and he had one too many joints.
• 45:19
  Let's put them together.
• 45:20
  No, he was talking to some friends and God knows what they said.
• 45:23
  He goes, hold my beer.
• 45:24
  And then this came out.
• 45:25
  Oh my God.
• 45:26
  So he had a jet ski that he needed to transport.
• 45:29
  But he only had a motorcycle.
• 45:30
  So he said, all right, well, if I got to move my jet ski and I
• 45:34
  got a motorcycle, I'm going to move them both at the same time.
• 45:37
  Hold my beer.
• 45:38
  Hold my beer.
• 45:39
  Oh, Lord.
• 45:39
  A man was arrested after trying to cross the Atlantic ocean to get to merry
• 45:44
  old England in a hamster wheel vessel.
• 45:48
  So imagine the hamster wheel with, like, pontoon balloons inside of it,
• 45:53
  and this little metal cage, and he was gonna get across the rough and wild
• 45:57
  Atlantic, and he was gonna make it all the way over the pond to England.
• 46:01
  Why?
• 46:02
  Unbelievable!
• 46:03
  So somebody tested this.
• 46:05
  They thought this was a good idea.
• 46:07
  It probably works.
• 46:09
  But can you imagine?
• 46:10
  Forrest Gumping the whole way across the Atlantic in a hamster wheel, like out of
• 46:17
  Wacky Races, like, this is unbelievable.
• 46:20
  I don't know what drugs this person also was on.
• 46:24
  Have to be on some.
• 46:25
  And when a balloon pops, then what happens?
• 46:28
  When they all pop and you just...
• 46:30
  sink in your steel cage.
• 46:32
  Because there's nothing watertight about this.
• 46:34
  No.
• 46:35
  Clearly not playing with the full deck here, right?
• 46:37
  Because he refused to step off his vessel, and threatened to kill
• 46:40
  himself, saying he had a bomb on board.
• 46:43
  He was in international waters, he did not have to step off at that point.
• 46:46
  Was he cited with maritime law?
• 46:50
  How does this work?
• 46:51
  Is he considered a vessel?
• 46:52
  Does he have a call sign?
• 46:53
  The hamster wheel?
• 46:54
  This is the HMS Dumbass?
• 46:57
  This is meth in action again.
• 47:00
  Coming to Brick Trailer next week.
• 47:02
  How far did he make it?
• 47:03
  He was found drifting.
• 47:05
  Not running.
• 47:05
  30 miles.
• 47:06
  30 miles.
• 47:07
  Jeez.
• 47:08
  South of New York.
• 47:09
  So already going the wrong way, headed back to Florida.
• 47:12
  Wait, this isn't the First time he's tried to do this.
• 47:15
  No, no.
• 47:17
  They found him 70 miles somewhere, Georgia, but in 2021, he was arrested
• 47:24
  and was rescued, tried to go from Florida to New York and was found adrift 30
• 47:28
  miles South of his departure point.
• 47:30
  So he didn't make it very far from Florida.
• 47:32
  Give him enough time and he'll invent a submarine next.
• 47:35
  He tried it a time before in 2014.
• 47:37
  This was the third try.
• 47:39
  They say three times.
• 47:41
  Charm, right?
• 47:42
  I mean, here we are.
• 47:43
  Took him ten years to build this balloon contraption.
• 47:46
  Nope, still hasn't gotten it.
• 47:47
  I think Darwin had a theory on him.
• 47:49
  Except it didn't pan out.
• 47:51
  I guess next he'll do, like, the Up movie and he'll just tie the balloons
• 47:53
  to his house and float over to England.
• 47:56
  When he gets there, he's got a place to live!
• 47:58
  This is also a testament to our educational system
• 48:00
  in this country because...
• 48:01
  Clearly, no understanding of oceans, roughness, it's whatever you want to
• 48:06
  call it, but also the temperature.
• 48:07
  Like, the Atlantic is effing cold, and you're in this, like, exposed open
• 48:11
  air, like, how do you think, nevermind, and geography, because clearly you
• 48:16
  don't know how far away English is.
• 48:19
  This is awesome.
• 48:20
  But speaking of Florida Man Ingenuity, take a look at
• 48:24
  this next one and let me know.
• 48:27
  Would you buy this Ford Crown Victoria convertible?
• 48:32
  Now I look at this in the second picture.
• 48:35
  He's got a smirk shit eating grin.
• 48:37
  I love it He's like, I know what I got.
• 48:39
  No lowballs.
• 48:40
  I know what I got Why is the air filter routed with like a 5 inch PVC pipe?
• 48:47
  Oh from the front of the hood up to the dashboard.
• 48:51
  This vehicle too can go in water So therefore if you look at it
• 48:56
  He made it look like a boat.
• 48:57
  It has a boat windshield and that's a snorkel so that when he goes in the water,
• 49:03
  he doesn't suck water into the motor.
• 49:05
  God damn.
• 49:05
  You're right.
• 49:06
  My favorite part is the temp tag.
• 49:09
  He just registered this vehicle.
• 49:11
  Better than the shit eating grin.
• 49:13
  Better than obviously.
• 49:14
  All lack of safety on this.
• 49:16
  Cause if you look at the seatbelt mounts, it's covered with foam, right?
• 49:20
  I don't even know how that's bolted.
• 49:21
  I would argue that the jet ski motorcycle is safer than this.
• 49:25
  All of this is absolutely amazing because it is almost ready for a lemons race.
• 49:31
  And at first I thought, maybe, maybe just, maybe this is a lemons car.
• 49:36
  You're right, actually.
• 49:38
  So it is part of the Gambler 500, Florida, which is like an off
• 49:44
  road rally, blah, blah, blah, two, three, four day challenge.
• 49:50
  And basically, yes, it's like off roading lemons.
• 49:54
  But, did you scroll down to the picture where he has his
• 49:58
  shit eating grin on his face?
• 50:00
  Did you look at the logo?
• 50:02
  Heh heh heh heh heh!
• 50:03
  That palm tree's got boobs!
• 50:05
  Heh heh heh heh!
• 50:06
  That or truck nuts, I haven't figured out which yet.
• 50:09
  And I love the fact that it's pissing rain on him.
• 50:12
  I
• 50:16
  mean, everything about this is awesome.
• 50:19
  Okay.
• 50:20
  And there's a water theme here.
• 50:22
  I'm gonna die.
• 50:23
  Like, my stomach hurts.
• 50:24
  Like, this is gonna, it can't get any worse.
• 50:27
  Oh, it gets better.
• 50:28
  23 year old man in his Nissan Sentra.
• 50:31
  Cross the center line, collided with a semi truck, so it had an accident.
• 50:35
  First thought, you have an accident, get naked, get naked and run into the swamp.
• 50:42
  Because I'm going to be less noticeable naked going through a swamp.
• 50:47
  I'm going to be less noticeable as gator food.
• 50:50
  While he was looking for the jet ski motorcycles, if you get away.
• 50:54
  I think that's like step one in the Florida man handbook.
• 50:58
  Step one, no matter what you did, step one, get naked.
• 51:02
  Cause you got, you got to reduce the drag and save some
• 51:04
  weight so you can run faster.
• 51:06
  Simplify and add lightness.
• 51:08
  Simplify and add nudity.
• 51:12
  Lord of man motto.
• 51:13
  Harlan Chapman had it right.
• 51:15
  This guy is brave.
• 51:17
  Brave?
• 51:17
  Brave is the word
• 51:22
  you use?
• 51:22
  that, particular adjective to describe this guy.
• 51:26
  The other ones were taken, but...
• 51:28
  Rave, I say, because he got naked and jumped into a swamp at 8 30 p.
• 51:33
  m.
• 51:34
  Ooooooh.
• 51:35
  You can't see what shit's out there?
• 51:37
  What, swamp things there to eat you?
• 51:39
  Oh, that's He got He got in so deep, apparently he was
• 51:42
  happy when the cops found him.
• 51:44
  Cause he wanted to get the f out of there.
• 51:47
  Burning Ming Scary Swamp Land.
• 51:50
  Is it in the water?
• 51:51
  Is it something about when the water evaporates and goes into the air
• 51:56
  that people just go crazy in Florida?
• 51:59
  You know, they say it's because of the water that New York bagels are so good.
• 52:03
  So I could see something down in Florida causing all these
• 52:06
  people doing shit like that.
• 52:08
  It's from all the drug running in the eighties.
• 52:11
  There's so much cocaine in the water.
• 52:14
  It's just everywhere.
• 52:16
  It's like that cocaine bear thing.
• 52:20
  Oh my God.
• 52:21
  They should just rename Florida.
• 52:23
  Okay.
• 52:24
  It was Cougar town now.
• 52:25
  Now cocaine town.
• 52:26
  Ooh, well, we had some California man's during car week, as you would
• 52:32
  expect car weeks, a little bit more upscale than just cars and coffee.
• 52:35
  Although there are some cars and coffee.
• 52:37
  I went to one sponsored by the Ferrari club.
• 52:39
  It was fantastic, included wine and hors d'oeuvres and
• 52:42
  all sorts of other fun stuff.
• 52:43
  Not like any cars and coffee that we have here on the East coast running
• 52:47
  up and down highway one Oh one between the different areas of Monterey.
• 52:51
  The California highway patrol or the chips got tipped off.
• 52:55
  Uh, I don't know what the tip off was.
• 52:57
  It was car week.
• 52:58
  We all do that.
• 52:59
  They pulled over 154 speeders during the course of car week only.
• 53:05
  How many of them were in an Alexis LX 600?
• 53:10
  Not going to say we didn't open the taps on the Lexus a couple of times.
• 53:13
  It will allegedly, allegedly.
• 53:16
  Allegedly, that's a lot of people though.
• 53:18
  It is.
• 53:19
  But to Tanya's point, it also seems awful low considering the thousands of people
• 53:24
  that are participating in car week.
• 53:26
  This actually brings up a good question.
• 53:27
  154 people at Monterey car week.
• 53:30
  This is over the course of the entire event.
• 53:32
  I'm guessing, or they don't really, they're really good at detail.
• 53:34
  Do they catch more people here?
• 53:37
  Or more people at H2O.
• 53:40
  Ooh.
• 53:42
  Because H2O isn't just speeding though.
• 53:44
  Yeah.
• 53:44
  So are more people ticketed at Monterey or H2O?
• 53:47
  I'm going to guess H2O.
• 53:49
  People don't do things by halves in LA, do they?
• 53:51
  So this thief, he stole a car from one of the posh areas
• 53:55
  of LA, but it wasn't any car.
• 53:57
  He stole a Rolls Royce Phantom and took the finest LA PD, and
• 54:02
  I'm assuming maybe some chips, on a high speed chase through LA.
• 54:05
  So he's rolling in his, uh, phantom, giving the police a run for his money.
• 54:09
  This was on the Robb Report.
• 54:10
  How fast do these go?
• 54:12
  They're like the length of a school bus.
• 54:14
  They can't handle that well.
• 54:16
  He probably couldn't hear the police.
• 54:17
  He had that 27 inch suitcase TV going.
• 54:20
  Well, his chauffeur was actually stealing the car and he rode in the back.
• 54:23
  Yeah.
• 54:24
  But he got away with it.
• 54:26
  That's the best part.
• 54:27
  How did he lose the cops?
• 54:29
  How did he get away with stealing the car?
• 54:31
  That's insane.
• 54:32
  They didn't catch him?
• 54:33
  According to this.
• 54:34
  They did not.
• 54:34
  The savvy thief took advantage of the buffer they were given as the chase
• 54:38
  progressed deeper into downtown.
• 54:40
  Damn traffic.
• 54:40
  They eventually pulled into a parking garage near the L.
• 54:43
  A.
• 54:43
  Grand Hotel, and with the vehicle no longer visible, the police were forced
• 54:46
  to stand down while a department helicopter hovering above tried
• 54:49
  to figure out what was going on.
• 54:51
  When they finally returned to the structure, the vehicle was discovered,
• 54:53
  but the driver was nowhere to be seen.
• 54:55
  Classic TV shit right there.
• 54:57
  Just like a scene from Gran Turismo.
• 54:59
  It's like something off the blacklist.
• 55:03
  So this Florida people article is just stupidity at its absolute
• 55:09
  finest and could happen anywhere.
• 55:11
  And it's worth watching this video because this was so avoidable.
• 55:18
  And then the poor person whose Tesla was catching all of this with the cameras
• 55:23
  that were recording was innocent.
• 55:26
  And the video is taken from this poor Tesla's vantage point.
• 55:30
  So dumb on so many levels.
• 55:33
  Inability to zipper merge.
• 55:35
  Impatience.
• 55:36
  Not paying attention, distracted driving, raging, to rear end two cars.
• 55:43
  And not like you rear end one that rear ends the other.
• 55:45
  No, you, like, simultaneously manage to rear end two cars at once.
• 55:49
  Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
• 55:52
  And it's almost like the second Tesla that's doing the rear ending.
• 55:55
  Was like accelerating through it.
• 55:57
  Like I don't think the person ever hit the brakes.
• 56:00
  That's Tesla on Tesla crime right there.
• 56:02
  I feel bad for the white Tesla.
• 56:04
  It did nothing wrong except be present.
• 56:07
  What a mess.
• 56:08
  But also I like the Lexus or whatever it was.
• 56:10
  I was like, okay, first of all.
• 56:12
  Try to duck out of the way.
• 56:13
  If you're gonna swerve off the shoulder to avoid rear end, like, get the hell onto
• 56:18
  the shoulder, not, like, stay, like, a quarter on in lane, because you wouldn't
• 56:22
  have gotten rear ended, and you would have plowed straight into the other Tesla.
• 56:25
  How much does this crash cost?
• 56:27
  That's 100, 000 of damage done right there.
• 56:29
  Those are totaled, probably.
• 56:31
  100%.
• 56:32
  I mean, the white one's probably totaled.
• 56:33
  Well, the red one, too, with the front end collision, the airbags went off, for sure.
• 56:37
  Yeah, they're both of them, the red one, too, probably.
• 56:39
  The frunk popped open.
• 56:41
  Whoever that was, a lot of clothes in that front.
• 56:43
  Yeah, I noticed her shoes.
• 56:45
  She was living in her car.
• 56:46
  She couldn't afford a house anymore.
• 56:47
  She's living in her car.
• 56:49
  But anyway, not really funny.
• 56:51
  More public service announcement.
• 56:53
  I don't know if it's as good as casting a spell on your boyfriend's car and
• 56:56
  lighting it on fire with candles, but passenger of suspected DUI driver calls
• 57:03
  9 1 1 on the Washington State Patrol.
• 57:07
  Wait, what?
• 57:08
  The driver argued her constitutional rights were being violated by the pursuit.
• 57:14
  So a drunk driver is driving a car and they're being pursued by the state patrol.
• 57:19
  And they called the police on the police that their constitutional
• 57:24
  rights were being violated.
• 57:26
  That's a bold strategy.
• 57:28
  Like they're, they're calling to say they're being harassed by the police.
• 57:32
  But they call the police.
• 57:34
  You're driving illegally.
• 57:36
  How do you know that?
• 57:37
  You don't know that I'm drunk.
• 57:38
  I may be driving on the wrong side of the road sideways with a kid hanging out the
• 57:43
  back, but you don't know that I'm drunk.
• 57:45
  It's like that tater salad joke, right?
• 57:48
  I wasn't drunk in public until you put me there.
• 57:55
  I want to hear the 911 recording of that.
• 57:58
  Like, it's gotta be absolutely insane.
• 58:01
  It's got to be because the person was in an F 150 doing like
• 58:04
  over a hundred miles an hour.
• 58:06
  They can go that fast?
• 58:07
  Apparently.
• 58:08
  We've been in and out and stuff, and this is like at midnight 30
• 58:12
  and then the other passengers.
• 58:14
  Call the cops on the cops because they thought the law had changed that the cops
• 58:19
  can't pursue you anymore in high speed.
• 58:22
  9 1 1 what's your emergency?
• 58:24
  Yes I'm being followed.
• 58:27
  My driver's uh under the influence he's had a couple 10 beers
• 58:32
  and uh the cops are after us.
• 58:34
  What is this like the sound rules?
• 58:36
  Uh, you can't make noise after 10 o'clock and the cops can't
• 58:38
  chase you after 80 miles an hour.
• 58:40
  Like what the hell is that?
• 58:42
  Well, there has been some of that, right?
• 58:43
  Yeah, the police aren't allowed.
• 58:45
  In some cases, they're not allowed to enter into a high speed chase.
• 58:47
  They should really back off because all it does is endanger the officers
• 58:50
  and other people if they go on these crazy high speed pursuits.
• 58:54
  But there's caveats to this.
• 58:56
  It's like when we know you're driving drunk, we follow you.
• 59:00
  It's like need for speed hot pursuit.
• 59:02
  You don't get a free pass.
• 59:03
  We deploy the spike strips on you.
• 59:06
  You know what I learned from this article?
• 59:08
  When you said the truck did a hundred miles an hour, it proves a very
• 59:12
  important point that sometimes.
• 59:15
  You need to haul lumber and haul ass, truck life.
• 59:19
  Ass, gas, or grass.
• 59:20
  Don't be that person either, public safety announcement.
• 59:23
  About the dangers of drug, okay?
• 59:26
  Which from the guy's photo, it's obvious he was on meth, and he was found under
• 59:30
  the influence of meth and marijuana, and what this can do to you as a 51
• 59:35
  year old man is think that you can get inside a Power Wheels Jeep and
• 59:38
  then drive down the road at night.
• 59:40
  And it sounds like at first he was pulled over because the power wheels
• 59:44
  didn't have lights or reflectors.
• 59:46
  So he might have been able to get away with this shit if he
• 59:49
  had just had some basic safety features on this power wheels.
• 59:52
  You've got to be kidding me.
• 59:54
  Public safety announcement.
• 59:55
  This is your brain.
• 59:57
  This is your brain on drugs.
• 59:59
  He must not weigh a lot, which he probably doesn't given the math.
• 1:00:01
  I was gonna say, as an adult, have you ever tried to ride a Power Wheels?
• 1:00:05
  Like, they will not move.
• 1:00:06
  Even the converted, like, 18 and 36 volt ones won't move.
• 1:00:10
  I wonder if this was a foot chase.
• 1:00:12
  Or if they pursued them in the trooper mobile, you know?
• 1:00:15
  Fall over!
• 1:00:17
  Can you imagine the commotion this caused while some guys in a barbie
• 1:00:21
  pink jeep were going down the road?
• 1:00:24
  Riding and driving a ditch.
• 1:00:28
  Oh boy.
• 1:00:29
  Because Florida is not going to be outdone ever.
• 1:00:31
  Florida man hotwires excavator and then crashes it into Walmart.
• 1:00:34
  Because what else would you do with it?
• 1:00:36
  What else would you do with an excavator when you've stolen it and hotwired it?
• 1:00:40
  You'd crash it on a Monday night into Walmart.
• 1:00:43
  Crashed it into the automotive service center, apparently.
• 1:00:46
  He wanted to do an oil change.
• 1:00:48
  He was conscientious.
• 1:00:49
  The lights were out on the excavator, so he was going to replace the bulbs.
• 1:00:53
  And the blinker fluid.
• 1:00:55
  This is bizarre.
• 1:00:56
  You know, it's a light month this month.
• 1:00:58
  It was hard to find anything that was...
• 1:01:00
  Car adjacent or even mildly appropriate to Florida.
• 1:01:04
  So it really wasn't a light month for Florida, but it's a light month for
• 1:01:07
  us on Florida news, but they never completely fail to deliver as one
• 1:01:13
  gentleman recently delivered his car.
• 1:01:16
  Not only delivered, launched his Dodge Challenger into a canal.
• 1:01:20
  Yeah, he got some good air.
• 1:01:23
  The initial little graphic that's circling, little video clip at the
• 1:01:27
  beginning doesn't do it justice because there's the balcony that we're seeing this
• 1:01:31
  off of is some lady's security camera, bless her heart, captured the whole thing.
• 1:01:35
  And there's like three minutes of recording and you actually
• 1:01:38
  see what instigated this.
• 1:01:40
  Because in the background you see that Mercedes slowly creeping by.
• 1:01:45
  These two MFers were actually racing through the neighborhood.
• 1:01:48
  The Challenger didn't make the turn, the Mercedes did, and then really slowed
• 1:01:54
  down to watch the ensuing calamity.
• 1:01:57
  But dude didn't make the turn, went up on the curb, got airborne, basically
• 1:02:00
  shot off and down into the canal and he's sitting there like floating.
• 1:02:04
  I don't, he wouldn't get out of the car, I don't know why,
• 1:02:06
  and eventually he turned the
• 1:02:10
  And all these people are like coming out of the woodworks to like help.
• 1:02:13
  And then eventually one dude just finally jumps in to like drag him out of the car.
• 1:02:17
  Don't know why he wouldn't get out.
• 1:02:18
  And then like literally right as he does that, like the whole
• 1:02:21
  thing like starts like going down.
• 1:02:23
  That was impressive how long it floated for.
• 1:02:25
  Surprising.
• 1:02:26
  Yeah.
• 1:02:27
  And what's hilarious about the race part, he didn't make the turn, but
• 1:02:30
  he's on the same Paleozoic era Mercedes chassis that the Mercedes is on.
• 1:02:35
  So you would think.
• 1:02:36
  They would be equally matched in that respect, but it does looks like something
• 1:02:40
  straight out of Duke's a hazard.
• 1:02:42
  I mean, wow.
• 1:02:44
  God, I love Florida.
• 1:02:45
  It's always good for something.
• 1:02:46
  I'll make a nice alligator home now on the canal.
• 1:02:49
  And how do you explain that one to your insurance company?
• 1:02:51
  I swerved to avoid an alligator, and I ended up over the curb and into the canal.
• 1:02:55
  Well, at first I thought maybe he listened to last month about the guy in
• 1:02:59
  the Corolla that launched his car into the second floor of a Pennsylvania home.
• 1:03:02
  Maybe he was trying to reenact that.
• 1:03:05
  Well, this is just a kind of a cute one.
• 1:03:08
  This Polk County man called Sheriff's Office to report a crime because he
• 1:03:13
  goes out to his black Jeep Cherokee that's covered in all this white paint.
• 1:03:18
  side of the door is covered in all this white paint.
• 1:03:21
  So the sheriff comes out to investigate, and it was bird poop.
• 1:03:24
  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
• 1:03:27
  But I will say from the photo, that the bird must've like, downward dogged at
• 1:03:32
  the side of the car, because the spray...
• 1:03:37
  is quite extensive.
• 1:03:38
  Was it a pterodactyl?
• 1:03:42
  I don't know, in Florida maybe it was like some sort of heron?
• 1:03:45
  I don't know.
• 1:03:45
  Albatross.
• 1:03:46
  I mean, I mean, that is a lot of bird poop.
• 1:03:50
  Oh, there's a swarm of them and they all, maybe it was like a goose or a swan.
• 1:03:54
  No, goose, they had that little green poop.
• 1:03:57
  This one had diarrhea.
• 1:03:59
  Okay.
• 1:03:59
  It was an emu.
• 1:04:02
  And bird poop is terrible for your paint.
• 1:04:04
  Can you imagine?
• 1:04:06
  Then you have this big stain on the side of your car that won't come out.
• 1:04:09
  Oh, I'm going to wash my car next time it rains.
• 1:04:12
  Obviously, it wasn't there one minute, and then it was there the next
• 1:04:15
  for him to call the police, right?
• 1:04:17
  So...
• 1:04:18
  Jellicoe says, the culprit was Avion.
• 1:04:21
  I've been vandalized!
• 1:04:22
  By an eagle!
• 1:04:24
  She enticed me.
• 1:04:26
  Uh, the substance was what birds tend to do.
• 1:04:29
  Or do.
• 1:04:30
  Ah!
• 1:04:31
  Ah!
• 1:04:31
  Ah!
• 1:04:32
  Get it?
• 1:04:32
  That's a bad dad joke.
• 1:04:34
  I save.
• 1:04:35
  The best for last.
• 1:04:37
  Oh, boy.
• 1:04:38
  Okay, just listen.
• 1:04:39
  Don't click the link yet.
• 1:04:40
  It gets better than this.
• 1:04:42
  No, no, don't click the link yet.
• 1:04:43
  Let me, let me take you on this journey.
• 1:04:45
  We go to Michigan.
• 1:04:46
  Here's the headline.
• 1:04:47
  Michigan man gets drunk watching owls poops on his PT cruiser.
• 1:04:53
  Tells nurses his blood is pure natural ice.
• 1:04:56
  Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
• 1:04:59
  What?
• 1:05:04
  We must pass this one up too.
• 1:05:06
  Oh!
• 1:05:07
  How many articles is this?
• 1:05:09
  I want to unpack this a little bit.
• 1:05:11
  So he was watching Owls.
• 1:05:14
  So is the comma in the wrong place?
• 1:05:16
  Was he watching owls poop on his PT Cruiser, or was he
• 1:05:22
  pooping on his PT Cruiser?
• 1:05:23
  As the officers were doing sobriety tests on the man, the natty ice apparently hit
• 1:05:29
  him pretty hard, and according to the report, he dropped his pants and began
• 1:05:35
  taking a dump on the bumper of his car.
• 1:05:40
  On the dumper of his car?
• 1:05:42
  He severely improved the aesthetic of the PT Cruiser.
• 1:05:48
  So when he got to the hospital and the nurses were going to take
• 1:05:51
  blood for more of the sobriety test work, he told them it's all beer.
• 1:05:55
  Not going to lie to you.
• 1:05:57
  Pure, natural ice.
• 1:06:03
  The bigger question is, how much Natty Bow do you have to drink to get that stupid?
• 1:06:09
  I think if you're drinking Natty Bow, you start it out stupid.
• 1:06:14
  You're in the Gordneck State Game Area in Kalamazoo County,
• 1:06:19
  Michigan, with your PT Cruiser.
• 1:06:21
  Listening to owls with a couple cans and yaddy bows, yaddy eyes.
• 1:06:28
  What the hell does the owls have to do?
• 1:06:30
  He was in the he was
• 1:06:34
  watching!
• 1:06:35
  The He was watching owls!
• 1:06:36
  He was owl watching!
• 1:06:37
  At night!
• 1:06:37
  Oh my god.
• 1:06:38
  Do you guys remember, like, season one drive thru?
• 1:06:41
  There was a terrorist group out of Michigan that used PT Cruiser.
• 1:06:45
  Do you think this guy belongs to that?
• 1:06:49
  He's the mastermind.
• 1:06:50
  I love the picture of the owl that's like the headline picture.
• 1:06:53
  The owl is just like, what the fuck?
• 1:06:56
  Owls are always like, what the fuck just happened?
• 1:06:59
  Yeah, but he just watched a grown ass man shit on his car.
• 1:07:02
  I bet he said to the owl, let me show you how it's done.
• 1:07:06
  Here, hold my beer.
• 1:07:09
  I wonder if that's what he said to the cop, hold my beer
• 1:07:11
  a second, I gotta take a piss.
• 1:07:13
  The police asked him what scale he was, 1 to 10.
• 1:07:17
  He said I'm at a 5, I'll be honest, I'm drunk.
• 1:07:25
  Natty Bo really get to you.
• 1:07:27
  But you know what?
• 1:07:28
  We've had Canadians in our Florida Man stories before.
• 1:07:32
  We don't have any this time, and that's fine.
• 1:07:33
  I looked.
• 1:07:33
  I tried.
• 1:07:34
  I couldn't find.
• 1:07:35
  I tried to find better content, but actually, it was very disturbing,
• 1:07:39
  the content that was coming up.
• 1:07:40
  There was a lot of road rage going on and other very negative things, so there
• 1:07:46
  wasn't anything good, unfortunately.
• 1:07:48
  But you know what we've never seen in a Florida Man segment?
• 1:07:51
  We never see Danish man.
• 1:07:53
  It doesn't happen.
• 1:07:54
  Denmark.
• 1:07:54
  Because I think the search would have to be Danish man bicycling or something.
• 1:07:59
  Well, I mean, that goes along with that guy who was complaining about the
• 1:08:02
  EV that he bought and he's charging in a 110 and he realized it was
• 1:08:06
  going to take a week to charge it.
• 1:08:08
  Let me rig up some nine volts, string them together and try to turn my blow dryer on.
• 1:08:13
  Okay.
• 1:08:13
  Like
• 1:08:18
  Dry my hair faster.
• 1:08:19
  Just lazy Eric is officially done.
• 1:08:30
  Brad's just like, no, we keep going.
• 1:08:33
  I need more Florida, man.
• 1:08:34
  More than you can afford pal.
• 1:09:15
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• 1:09:19
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• 1:09:21
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• 1:09:24
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