Latest / You Minding Your Own Business / Episode 49- My Conversation with Christine Blosdale About The Ups And Downs and Misconseptions Of Caching

Transcript

Episode 49- My Conversation with Christine Blosdale About The Ups And Downs and Misconseptions Of Caching · You Minding Your Own Business

0:00
Speaker 1: Get the recording. Hello, Hello, everybody, welcome to my podcast.
0:06
Speaker 2: I have somebody, very very who I adore, who I
0:11
Speaker 2: have had a great conversation with a couple of days ago, and.
0:16
Speaker 1: I'm trying to make sure to pronounce your name. Try
0:18
Speaker 1: to make sure I pronounce it.
0:19
Speaker 3: Right, Christine Blosdell.
0:23
Speaker 2: One to make sure I said it right, Yes, Christine,
0:27
Speaker 2: all right, A coaching has done so much in whole world.
0:32
Speaker 1: So yeah, and then in fact, your mom is or.
0:36
Speaker 2: Was a whereas just a worldly woman and just so
0:42
Speaker 2: many talents, And yeah, it's pleasure to have you on here.
0:47
Speaker 3: I'm very happy to be here. And we hope, I hope,
0:49
Speaker 3: but we can give some some inspiration to your audience
0:53
Speaker 3: as well.
0:54
Speaker 2: Yes, now we're gonna talk about the combination of coaching
1:00
Speaker 2: in therapy.
1:01
Speaker 1: And I say that because.
1:05
Speaker 2: Last time we spoke, I told you about my medical
1:07
Speaker 2: situation and I went through almost twenty years of no answer,
1:12
Speaker 2: still no answers, honestly, And my cousin's girl, my nephew's girlfriend,
1:19
Speaker 2: says she went to the doctor because she thinks her
1:21
Speaker 2: child either has autism or ADHD. They told him told
1:26
Speaker 2: her just to give him junk food. What yes, just
1:33
Speaker 2: to give him younk food, and you know, you go
1:38
Speaker 2: to these doctors. Like my mom just had a car
1:40
Speaker 2: accident with my son in the car and I asked her,
1:43
Speaker 2: I said, why you didn't take him to the emergency
1:46
Speaker 2: room and she was like, he said, nothing was wrong.
1:50
Speaker 2: I said, Mom, he's autistic, he still should have went.
1:53
Speaker 2: And so it's sad that, you know, you have people
1:59
Speaker 2: that are constantly when people are telling that something's wrong,
2:03
Speaker 2: everybody's telling you just suck it up, not like it
2:06
Speaker 2: don't happen, like it didn't exist. You know, you'll be okay,
2:11
Speaker 2: just brush it off. I'm like, it's not like that
2:15
Speaker 2: mentally though, you know, physically depending, Yeah, you can break
2:22
Speaker 2: your arm and it'll get better, But what if it
2:25
Speaker 2: completely will you have to get it completely replaced?
2:29
Speaker 1: What if you can't walk again? Yeah, you know, is
2:32
Speaker 1: that going to be the same you know thing.
2:35
Speaker 2: So that's why I wanted to have, you know, talk
2:38
Speaker 2: about the fact of us being coaches and the way
2:41
Speaker 2: of how coaching needs to be more so a part
2:45
Speaker 2: of the medical field, and especially with mental health, because yeah,
2:50
Speaker 2: I've been therapist and they just give me medication. I'm like,
2:53
Speaker 2: that's not helping me. I can take my son to
2:55
Speaker 2: speech therapy and they'll say, we'll just do the basics.
3:00
Speaker 4: No, no, no, that's not gonna work with And if
3:07
Speaker 4: you have a good coach or good teacher, I always
3:10
Speaker 4: equate the work that I do as being is being
3:12
Speaker 4: a teacher.
3:14
Speaker 3: You check in with your clients, you know, you check
3:17
Speaker 3: in regularly. And for me, you know, I have people
3:22
Speaker 3: can work with me, you know, one off, they can
3:24
Speaker 3: do one a two hour coaching session with me and
3:27
Speaker 3: then go on their merry way. But what I find
3:30
Speaker 3: where the real growth happens is in my accelerator program,
3:33
Speaker 3: where I have every single week, we spend two hours
3:37
Speaker 3: every single week, and so much of it is it's
3:42
Speaker 3: not just me talking about their business and you know,
3:46
Speaker 3: how to make their website better and their marketing and
3:49
Speaker 3: their branding. It's really about how they're actually doing. Because
3:54
Speaker 3: if they are physically, emotionally, spiritually not well or thrown
4:00
Speaker 3: off the track, they're not going to be able to
4:03
Speaker 3: to uh to to really make gains in their business.
4:07
Speaker 3: So we deal with that and that checking in, that
4:11
Speaker 3: that that constant checking in. Plus I love Mike, I
4:14
Speaker 3: mean they know that I have their best interests at heart.
4:17
Speaker 3: So knowing that you have somebody that every single week
4:20
Speaker 3: you can also use as a sounding board and say,
4:23
Speaker 3: you know what I've had. I've had times too where
4:26
Speaker 3: I've got clients we're booked in for a session, and
4:29
Speaker 3: and I can tell right away when they when they're
4:31
Speaker 3: on that zoom call, I'm like, how you doing? And
4:33
Speaker 3: they go and I'm like, you know what, are you overwhelmed?
4:37
Speaker 3: As there's too much stuff going on? Yep, Okay, let's
4:41
Speaker 3: cancel today unless you need to talk to me about stuff.
4:45
Speaker 3: Let's cancel today because you're not going to be fully
4:48
Speaker 3: present and we want to we want to make it
4:51
Speaker 3: worth your while, and we'll just reschedule for another time
4:55
Speaker 3: so that gives them the opportunity if they need to
4:57
Speaker 3: be in that space, because sometimes you know, you don't
4:59
Speaker 3: feel like being all cheery cheery, and you know, my
5:01
Speaker 3: energy level is high, right and like with your, our
5:06
Speaker 3: energy level is high, and we want to we want
5:08
Speaker 3: to give the most to our clients, we really do.
5:11
Speaker 3: But then again, we also have to know when to say, Okay,
5:14
Speaker 3: we'll put on the back burner for now and we'll
5:16
Speaker 3: come back to it later.
5:18
Speaker 2: I agree, because I mean when I was going through it,
5:22
Speaker 2: God was my coach.
5:23
Speaker 1: You know, some people don't have a coach. Some people
5:26
Speaker 1: can't even afford the coach.
5:28
Speaker 2: And when I started talking about and this was just
5:31
Speaker 2: personally me, just talking about my own experiences, I didn't
5:35
Speaker 2: even think in a million years that so many people
5:37
Speaker 2: could relate to me as far as not having diagnosis.
5:40
Speaker 2: And like when a friend of mine, she died because
5:44
Speaker 2: she went to doctor every thirty days. They never told
5:47
Speaker 2: her she had cancer, never tested her for it. But yeah,
5:50
Speaker 2: you can go to Turkey and they'll do the whole
5:52
Speaker 2: entire examination every year until you everything.
5:55
Speaker 1: That's going on.
5:56
Speaker 2: Somebody that I mister Peter said, they have where they
6:00
Speaker 2: get heart checks every year, you know, so the fact
6:08
Speaker 2: in Canada they get checked every year for you know,
6:12
Speaker 2: for heart disease and things like that. But yet and
6:16
Speaker 2: still we go to the doctor and we have all
6:19
Speaker 2: of these doctors that don't even talk about keto. They
6:23
Speaker 2: don't talk about vegan, they don't talk about pestarian they
6:27
Speaker 2: you know, I started learning about, you know, the chemicals
6:31
Speaker 2: in our food by when I lost my gallbladder, having
6:34
Speaker 2: a lot of reactions, and I'm just like, why.
6:37
Speaker 1: Is I can't eat this norma? Why can't I eat
6:39
Speaker 1: that normal?
6:40
Speaker 2: Then I'm looking at all these extensive you know, chemicals
6:43
Speaker 2: and stuff.
6:44
Speaker 1: Like that, and so I will talk about it. And
6:47
Speaker 1: that's what led me to coaching.
6:49
Speaker 2: And so it's just when I and then when I
6:51
Speaker 2: first started coaching, when I tell you, nobody really told
6:55
Speaker 2: me anything, and I would take these courses and I'm
6:59
Speaker 2: just like, but how am I supposed to know how
7:02
Speaker 2: to do a course when nobody's teaching me how to
7:04
Speaker 2: do it?
7:05
Speaker 1: How am I.
7:05
Speaker 2: Supposed to know how to put together a webinar and
7:10
Speaker 2: seminar even if it is a free thirty day course
7:15
Speaker 2: most of the if you don't even have teaching degrees,
7:19
Speaker 2: and so, yeah, you're gonna give me something with a
7:23
Speaker 2: course on it, but you don't teach it. You know.
7:26
Speaker 3: I hate that. No, I hate that. I don't do that. Yeah,
7:29
Speaker 3: I don't. I don't like those at all. You know,
7:32
Speaker 3: there's nothing more lonely than taking a course by yourself
7:36
Speaker 3: with you and there's no feedback loop. There's nothing I
7:40
Speaker 3: don't I have. I offer webinars and workshops periodically to
7:45
Speaker 3: help people in certain things. So it might be a
7:48
Speaker 3: workshop on some AI tools that I use to help
7:52
Speaker 3: streamline my bi like to make it so much easier,
7:55
Speaker 3: or social media like how to create a TikTok right,
7:58
Speaker 3: or how to create a webinar workshop. I'll do these
8:00
Speaker 3: kind of things, but I don't have any courses. And
8:04
Speaker 3: that's because the idea of somebody signing up and then
8:08
Speaker 3: going into this funnelly thing and checking off this or
8:13
Speaker 3: that and and following something where I'm not giving them feedback,
8:16
Speaker 3: I don't know if they're on the track or not. Right.
8:19
Speaker 3: The most important thing for me is to have that
8:23
Speaker 3: one on one time with somebody. You have to. You
8:27
Speaker 3: have to if it's this blind you know, I call
8:31
Speaker 3: it shelf help, where you know people are inundated with
8:35
Speaker 3: shelf help, and that's when they they'll buy a program.
8:38
Speaker 3: They go, oh, I'm gonna get around to it, or
8:40
Speaker 3: you know, a video course or something like that. I'm gonna, yes,
8:43
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna and it never they
8:45
Speaker 3: never get into it. When you have time with a person,
8:49
Speaker 3: you feel obligated to make the appointment right to be
8:53
Speaker 3: there and then you have that interaction. And that's the
8:56
Speaker 3: only way you can as a coach or as a teacher.
8:59
Speaker 3: It's the only way you can find out where somebody is.
9:02
Speaker 1: Yep.
9:03
Speaker 3: If it's a course, there's no way to get that feedback, right.
9:08
Speaker 3: And I understand those people that do make a great
9:11
Speaker 3: living creating courses, and I don't want to put poo
9:13
Speaker 3: anybody from doing that if that's your thing, but it
9:16
Speaker 3: ain't my thing.
9:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, And like I said, I said, if I was
9:21
Speaker 2: to do a course, I'm going to teach it. Yes,
9:25
Speaker 2: you know, once a month. I would. I mean, I
9:27
Speaker 2: would teach it because I mean, I feel like courses
9:33
Speaker 2: can be a good thing if you're going to create
9:36
Speaker 2: something that's going to be something that people can use
9:40
Speaker 2: even after. And I said, I was going to do
9:43
Speaker 2: something where I wanted, you know, to help create a
9:47
Speaker 2: course for people that have children. You know, people to
9:52
Speaker 2: have kids and the same curriculum they're learning, they can
9:57
Speaker 2: teach their children and create something specifically for their kids
10:02
Speaker 2: and something they can do as far as teaching, because
10:05
Speaker 2: I feel like we as parents, we should be teaching
10:09
Speaker 2: the same way that educators do, you know, instead of
10:13
Speaker 2: a just saying this is what we need to do. No,
10:16
Speaker 2: give them give them a course on life skills that
10:20
Speaker 2: you create and they actually do it because the school
10:25
Speaker 2: system not obligated to raise your.
10:27
Speaker 3: Kids, no, and they're not going to teach them that
10:30
Speaker 3: they're the really important things like being a critical thinker.
10:35
Speaker 3: You know they have and their hands are tied as
10:37
Speaker 3: teachers to as educators too. I understand that because they're
10:41
Speaker 3: forced to teach in a model that is, you know,
10:46
Speaker 3: one way, and they don't realize that people. This is
10:50
Speaker 3: the thing about. A mark of a good teacher or
10:53
Speaker 3: the mark of a good coach is someone who can
10:56
Speaker 3: adapt their the information that they want to pass on
11:02
Speaker 3: and they can adapt it to different people's learning skills.
11:05
Speaker 3: Some people are auditory, some people are visual. Some people
11:10
Speaker 3: they need it really broken down to be very simple
11:12
Speaker 3: and understandable. And if you're over here, if you're a
11:16
Speaker 3: way up here being very complicated and technical, and you're
11:20
Speaker 3: a person your student or your client is down here
11:23
Speaker 3: and needs it to be in a simpler manner, then
11:26
Speaker 3: there's a disconnect and there's gonna be frustration, and then
11:29
Speaker 3: they'll drop out, you know, or they just won't achieve
11:32
Speaker 3: what you want to. It's the same thing with kids.
11:35
Speaker 3: Everybody's different how they learn.
11:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, So my son's autistic.
11:40
Speaker 5: And I know in New Jersey they have teacher like
11:45
Speaker 5: four or five different teachers in the same classroom and
11:48
Speaker 5: each one is in exceptional, mild, medium or whatever. And
11:54
Speaker 5: I think that works too, because if you put kids
11:56
Speaker 5: who all learn the same way and one place, but
12:01
Speaker 5: at the same time, they're still in a room with
12:04
Speaker 5: other kids and they're able to integrate.
12:07
Speaker 1: It might just be that one subject they.
12:09
Speaker 2: May not be that good at. It may not just
12:11
Speaker 2: be everything you know. And then the way we teach,
12:16
Speaker 2: it's like kids are like I.
12:20
Speaker 1: Guess when George W.
12:22
Speaker 2: Bush did No Child Left Behind, I think that was
12:24
Speaker 2: the greatest disservice of all time because I don't think.
12:29
Speaker 1: That that's fair.
12:31
Speaker 2: I think that there are children that do deserve to
12:33
Speaker 2: pass because they do the work. But if you let
12:36
Speaker 2: every child pass, that is the reason as an adult
12:39
Speaker 2: when they go to college. Like my nephew said, I
12:41
Speaker 2: don't know if I can handle college. College is so
12:44
Speaker 2: different in high school. I say, because college is not
12:47
Speaker 2: gonna let you just pass. No, you got to actually
12:51
Speaker 2: do the work. And I think you know in Germany,
12:55
Speaker 2: them graduating in the ninth grade and then tenth through
12:58
Speaker 2: twelfth being technic school and all. Honestly, I thought it
13:02
Speaker 2: was the better way because ten through twelve they're learning
13:06
Speaker 2: a n actual skill versus of them taking a bunch
13:09
Speaker 2: of unnecessary classes.
13:11
Speaker 1: That they don't need.
13:11
Speaker 2: And if they want to go to four year to
13:13
Speaker 2: get their bachelors or their masters, they could do that,
13:16
Speaker 2: but at least they're taking three class, three different curriculums
13:21
Speaker 2: that they have, you know, some type of degree in,
13:25
Speaker 2: so they can make a choice between those three what
13:28
Speaker 2: they want to be.
13:31
Speaker 1: And made that decision.
13:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's and that also has more higher
13:36
Speaker 3: engagement because if you're studying something, especially at that age
13:41
Speaker 3: because it's really young, but at that age, if you're studying,
13:44
Speaker 3: if you have options on what you can study, it
13:47
Speaker 3: gives you time to sort of figure that out. Whereas like, yeah,
13:51
Speaker 3: because when I was in school, it's like I was like,
13:56
Speaker 3: I've never once used algebra. I'm sixty one and you
14:01
Speaker 3: know what one B times three C whatever. I don't geometry,
14:08
Speaker 3: geometry and algebra I have not used. Now, maybe my
14:12
Speaker 3: critical thinking skills maybe were somewhat enhanced, but no, I
14:17
Speaker 3: got I had all as, I had a A plus
14:20
Speaker 3: English Science. You know, all these different classes that you take.
14:25
Speaker 3: I was like an A plus student, and then it
14:26
Speaker 3: came to math, and when it just I mean I
14:29
Speaker 3: was I was so frustrated with it. I didn't understand it.
14:33
Speaker 3: It did not make sense to me. I remember as
14:37
Speaker 3: a kid, I'd bring home my report card and it
14:40
Speaker 3: would be like, you know, A plus AAA B whatever.
14:43
Speaker 3: B plus was like oh. And then and then it
14:46
Speaker 3: would get down to the maths class and it'd be
14:48
Speaker 3: like a D or a D minus or something. And
14:51
Speaker 3: my dad said, you know what, Christy. You know, for
14:54
Speaker 3: most people one plus one equals two, he goes, but
14:57
Speaker 3: not necessarily for you. Yeah, because it's if it has
15:05
Speaker 3: to be concrete. For me, you know, I never understood it.
15:10
Speaker 3: And that's why people who are very talented with maths
15:14
Speaker 3: I look up to them. I mean, I go, jeez,
15:16
Speaker 3: you know, you're from another planet. That's amazing. What they
15:20
Speaker 3: should teach is they should teach you how to do
15:22
Speaker 3: file an income tax return, that PR that's helpful.
15:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, the things that are actually going to help you.
15:31
Speaker 2: How to balance.
15:33
Speaker 3: A check book, Yes, you know, how to pay bills budget.
15:38
Speaker 3: Let's let's least teach kids that.
15:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, And the first thing they want to do when
15:43
Speaker 2: they get to college is give them a credit card.
15:45
Speaker 3: I know when I tried.
15:47
Speaker 2: When I tried to get a car, they said, you
15:49
Speaker 2: have to get a call center.
15:51
Speaker 1: I said, what do I need to get a call
15:52
Speaker 1: center for? I have credit. I've been working at my
15:55
Speaker 1: job a few years. Why why can't I get a car?
15:58
Speaker 1: And you know, I learned that it's about putting.
16:03
Speaker 2: You in debt.
16:04
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, it's about.
16:06
Speaker 1: You in debt.
16:07
Speaker 2: And so when you're coaching these people and they're talking
16:11
Speaker 2: about no contact with their parents, no contact with their.
16:15
Speaker 1: Kids, you know, it's crazy.
16:21
Speaker 2: And I'm just like, because when Oprah Winfrey did that
16:24
Speaker 2: thing about the no parent contact, I was just like,
16:29
Speaker 2: I'm not surprised because a lot of parents take advantage
16:33
Speaker 2: of their kids and vice versa. It goes both ways.
16:36
Speaker 2: And you have that golden child and that invisible child,
16:39
Speaker 2: and that invisible child ends up being in a bad
16:45
Speaker 2: situation because they're thinking everything they do is wrong because
16:50
Speaker 2: their parents don't even give them any type of praise.
16:53
Speaker 1: Then then they do well.
16:54
Speaker 2: Their parents are coming to them instead of a sibling
16:57
Speaker 2: asking them for money.
16:58
Speaker 1: But that's your golden child.
17:00
Speaker 2: And so because this sibling wants love so bad, they're
17:04
Speaker 2: paying the bills, but yet and still now it's temporarily
17:09
Speaker 2: to permanent. Now they want you to fund your sister's
17:11
Speaker 2: wedding pay off her student loans. And I'm just sitting there, like,
17:15
Speaker 2: why am I paying off something.
17:16
Speaker 1: That I didn't do? So that's what I did.
17:20
Speaker 2: So now you have this child that's thinking that in
17:23
Speaker 2: every relationship, that's what they have to do because it
17:27
Speaker 2: goes back to your parents.
17:28
Speaker 1: And I tell people.
17:30
Speaker 2: That family dynamic is the hardest to maneuver because you
17:36
Speaker 2: don't get to choose them. No, unlike everybody else, you
17:41
Speaker 2: don't get to choose them. Everybody else you get to
17:43
Speaker 2: choose You get to choose everybody else, but you cannot
17:46
Speaker 2: choose your family. I mean not biologically anyway. But you
17:50
Speaker 2: can choose your family based on the people that are
17:53
Speaker 2: closest to you. But that's not something you learn until later.
17:57
Speaker 2: And like I tell people, you know, therapy is good.
18:01
Speaker 2: I will never say therapy is not good. But I
18:04
Speaker 2: think therapy and coaching should go hand in hand because
18:08
Speaker 2: I feel like that coaching is more so the actions
18:12
Speaker 2: of it. And I tell people, I mean, if you
18:15
Speaker 2: have basketball players and football players and sports that have
18:19
Speaker 2: coaches and anything.
18:20
Speaker 1: Else that you do which is also teaching.
18:24
Speaker 2: What is the difference between that and having coaches in
18:28
Speaker 2: the medical field, having coaches and mental health coaches in
18:31
Speaker 2: business coaching and jobs, because I think having coaches in
18:37
Speaker 2: that way is very important.
18:40
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, absolutely, Well, we'd have to just change what
18:45
Speaker 3: is it the I don't even know who you go to?
18:48
Speaker 3: Who would you where would you go to to get
18:49
Speaker 3: that changed?
18:51
Speaker 2: That's a good question, I would say, you know, it's
18:55
Speaker 2: it's one of the things.
18:55
Speaker 3: I think that they just changed the professional. They just
18:59
Speaker 3: changed the definition the professional, didn't They didn't they they
19:03
Speaker 3: the Trump administration, They just changed it. If you're a nurse,
19:07
Speaker 3: it's not a profession anymore. You're not a professional. But
19:11
Speaker 3: forget the other ones. What the other ones were? Were
19:13
Speaker 3: they teachers, physical therapy, picrapy, physical therapy, occupational therapy.
19:23
Speaker 1: Jesus, it's a long list.
19:25
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be surprised if teachers is not considered a
19:27
Speaker 2: non professional.
19:28
Speaker 1: I wouldn't be surprised.
19:30
Speaker 2: It's yeah, you're wanting people to pay for everything. You
19:34
Speaker 2: want people to pay for their insurance. Insurance is sky high.
19:37
Speaker 2: I love the Only Affordable Care Act and I'm looking
19:41
Speaker 2: at my insurance's four hundred and something dollars, which at
19:44
Speaker 2: the same price as the regular insurance, I might as
19:47
Speaker 2: well go through the regular insurance if that's the case
19:52
Speaker 2: to do that that this doesn't make any sense to
19:54
Speaker 2: me at all.
19:56
Speaker 3: That's that and that is going to be I think
19:59
Speaker 3: that something that is really very it's going to impact
20:03
Speaker 3: a lot of people because I have clients in the US.
20:07
Speaker 3: I'm here in Australia, but I have clients in the
20:11
Speaker 3: US who said, whatever they're monthly cost war for insurance
20:18
Speaker 3: coming now in twenty twenty six, Let's say it was
20:23
Speaker 3: you know, let's say it was four hundred dollars a month.
20:26
Speaker 3: Now it's going to get you know, be fifteen hundred
20:29
Speaker 3: or you know, close to two thousand dollars a month.
20:32
Speaker 3: Like who's gonna be who can pay for that? And
20:35
Speaker 3: that's just insurance, you know, in case something goes you know,
20:40
Speaker 3: happens that you but it's like it doesn't make any
20:43
Speaker 3: sense you for me, Like just like with your family,
20:49
Speaker 3: you want to make sure everybody's as healthy as possible,
20:52
Speaker 3: and that's the best insurance to make sure that the
20:55
Speaker 3: stuff that's even low cost to take care of is
20:58
Speaker 3: covered right, preventative as much as possible as well. That's
21:04
Speaker 3: where coaching could come in, you know that preventative, so
21:08
Speaker 3: people could be touching base with I think there's just
21:10
Speaker 3: too many people that fall through the cracks and they'd
21:13
Speaker 3: feel that there's nobody there for them.
21:15
Speaker 2: Yep. And then you have homeless people that are out here,
21:18
Speaker 2: veterans that are here homeless.
21:20
Speaker 1: You would think that adventures wouldn't be homeless.
21:22
Speaker 2: You have so many people with so many mental mental
21:25
Speaker 2: illnesses because the parents never took them.
21:29
Speaker 1: To therapy because they thought it was an embarrassment.
21:32
Speaker 2: And you have a lot of kids the the counselor
21:36
Speaker 2: will say to the parents, ch'all needs to.
21:38
Speaker 3: Go to therapy.
21:40
Speaker 1: They're like, no, there's nothing wrong with them.
21:42
Speaker 2: But then when they turn on them, then it's all
21:45
Speaker 2: of a sudden, there's something wrong. Or if you have
21:48
Speaker 2: these mass shootings where all these people are running around
21:53
Speaker 2: shooting everybody. Now you're saying your child has mental health issues.
21:57
Speaker 2: But you knew this before this, you did not get
22:03
Speaker 2: them therapy. But because you don't want your child because
22:07
Speaker 2: now it's affecting you, because now they're looking into you
22:11
Speaker 2: as a parent because with anything that come on in
22:14
Speaker 2: the news with a crime, they're gonna look at the family,
22:16
Speaker 2: They're gonna look at the mental health, you know, side
22:19
Speaker 2: of it. You can't use mental health that they would
22:22
Speaker 2: never diagnose with it. Yeah, but that's what they like
22:26
Speaker 2: to do. They like to say, oh, it's mental health,
22:29
Speaker 2: and then for some people it's aggression.
22:31
Speaker 1: I said, well, isn't that the same thing?
22:33
Speaker 2: Will not be the same issue if a person's aggressive
22:37
Speaker 2: versus someone, I said, like that one autistic young man
22:41
Speaker 2: that went to the school and he shot his mom
22:43
Speaker 2: and shot everybody else, And I said, what in the
22:46
Speaker 2: world would you Why in the world would you have
22:48
Speaker 2: a gun in the house and you have a child
22:49
Speaker 2: with special needs? Why would you do that? You know? So,
22:55
Speaker 2: in the end, the way that people are handling rejection,
23:00
Speaker 2: there's another reason that coaching is needed because I think
23:03
Speaker 2: rejection this and I like to say, in the mortal
23:07
Speaker 2: words of James Scott Farron, I want what I want,
23:10
Speaker 2: and I want it now. I don't care how I
23:13
Speaker 2: get it, who I hurt, I don't care, you know,
23:17
Speaker 2: I'm determined to get it. But then when you get it,
23:22
Speaker 2: the pain that comes with it. The person that wanted
23:25
Speaker 2: you in the first place, but you continue to chase
23:27
Speaker 2: after the person, and then you're saying this person hurts you.
23:30
Speaker 1: No the minute they.
23:31
Speaker 2: Told you no, you should have left it alone then,
23:34
Speaker 2: but you keep going after it and you keep wanting it.
23:39
Speaker 2: And I tell people, healing is not about it being temporary.
23:44
Speaker 1: Can it be permanent? Yeah, it can be if you
23:49
Speaker 1: do the.
23:49
Speaker 2: Work to maintain it.
23:53
Speaker 1: But if you can't maintain it, you can't.
23:56
Speaker 2: If you don't evolve, you don't grow, you don't elevate,
24:00
Speaker 2: and you don't mature, then you're never going to be
24:04
Speaker 2: able to maintain it. Even as coaches, we can sit
24:08
Speaker 2: here all day long and mean in therapy, yeah they sit,
24:13
Speaker 2: they listen, and yeah, they give you medication and they'll
24:18
Speaker 2: ask you how you feel. But the one thing a
24:21
Speaker 2: therapist can't tell you is what to do. They can
24:26
Speaker 2: only give you advice. That's the only thing that a
24:28
Speaker 2: therapist can do is give you advice, give you a
24:31
Speaker 2: diagnosis if you have you know, depression or anxiety, but
24:36
Speaker 2: they can't tell you how to go about, you know,
24:40
Speaker 2: giving you things to do to overcome it, right, which
24:45
Speaker 2: is where you know coaches come in that deal with
24:49
Speaker 2: healing and recovering addiction. It's just like an addiction person
24:52
Speaker 2: that has a sponsor. A sponsor can believe in you
24:56
Speaker 2: all day long, but that doesn't mean that she's going
24:59
Speaker 2: to be with you twenty four seven to stop you
25:01
Speaker 2: from the influences of drugs. She can only try when
25:07
Speaker 2: you call her to say I want that fix and
25:10
Speaker 2: try to talk you out of it and try to
25:13
Speaker 2: make sure that you don't. But that sponsor is only
25:18
Speaker 2: as needed, you know, as long as you need them.
25:23
Speaker 2: But they're not there day in and day in and
25:26
Speaker 2: day out to catch that. You know, you can call
25:29
Speaker 2: your therapists and say I need an appointment, but your
25:32
Speaker 2: therapist can't talk to you after hours and talk to
25:36
Speaker 2: you and talk you down. It's gonna be your coach
25:39
Speaker 2: that you're gonna call and say, you know, because you
25:42
Speaker 2: build a relationship with this person to say I'm going
25:45
Speaker 2: through something and I need to talk and I'm like, okay,
25:49
Speaker 2: you need Especially when you're trying to talk the person
25:51
Speaker 2: off the ledge.
25:53
Speaker 3: Yeah that's tough.
25:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, especially when they have nobody, don't have friends, family,
26:00
Speaker 2: no one that gives them that support. Yep. So that's
26:07
Speaker 2: sad part about it. That's why I said coaches are
26:10
Speaker 2: definitely needed because the same way, like I said, when
26:14
Speaker 2: it comes to the situations with coaching a game, I
26:21
Speaker 2: think a game is no different than life. It's just
26:24
Speaker 2: you're going to get different teams, different people. It's just
26:27
Speaker 2: a life game, a life game, and every win is
26:31
Speaker 2: a win.
26:34
Speaker 3: So then it would be good to call yourself a
26:37
Speaker 3: life game coach.
26:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much, because I mean I think that's important
26:45
Speaker 2: because we'll be helping people the rest of our lives
26:50
Speaker 2: and what we do because it will always be a
26:54
Speaker 2: life game that we.
26:57
Speaker 1: Have to work people through.
27:00
Speaker 2: It's not like a basketball game where you get a championship.
27:04
Speaker 2: Our championship is that we wake up every morning. Our
27:08
Speaker 2: championship is that we stay focused and we stay on
27:11
Speaker 2: the goals that we're meant to be on. I think
27:13
Speaker 2: those little things we get, whether it be getting a
27:20
Speaker 2: you know, good job, married kids, you have one day
27:25
Speaker 2: where you have a good day. Nobody is destroying your life,
27:30
Speaker 2: Nobody is leading you astray, nobody is being that wolf
27:34
Speaker 2: and she's clothing boy and girl. They cry wolf sirens,
27:37
Speaker 2: vampire snakes, Jezebel's harlests, and suckerbists trying to lead you astray.
27:43
Speaker 1: So I think, to me, those.
27:46
Speaker 2: Wins are the days where nobody's impacting your life. You're
27:52
Speaker 2: maintaining your peace and tranquility. You accept your flaws and
27:56
Speaker 2: imperfections and you turn them into strengths, and you are
28:02
Speaker 2: having those little wins, whereas that basketball game is those
28:07
Speaker 2: huge wins and those huge losses.
28:10
Speaker 1: I think every.
28:11
Speaker 2: Day that were alive and we just have one day,
28:13
Speaker 2: we said I had one day at piece.
28:17
Speaker 1: My health is good.
28:19
Speaker 2: I think those are our greatest wins versus all of these.
28:23
Speaker 2: You know, it is good to have the money because
28:26
Speaker 2: you can't get the best health care, you can't get
28:28
Speaker 2: the best of everything. But I think people don't understand
28:32
Speaker 2: the best of everything is not the external of it,
28:36
Speaker 2: far as the cars, the houses. It's more so your
28:40
Speaker 2: health and wellness, having the best healthcare, having the best foods,
28:44
Speaker 2: being able to travel. You don't work for anybody. You
28:47
Speaker 2: work for yourself and the people that you have working
28:51
Speaker 2: for you, the goal for them is to be able
28:54
Speaker 2: to be you know, the best butterflies and you know,
28:57
Speaker 2: and you're making them into better people. To people that
29:00
Speaker 2: work for you, they come in every day happy to
29:03
Speaker 2: be wanting to come to work.
29:05
Speaker 3: That's that and that's peace of mind, and that's I
29:08
Speaker 3: think we need to take moments out of our day
29:12
Speaker 3: or weeks or months and have gratitude for those we take.
29:17
Speaker 3: We seem to take them for granted because we always
29:21
Speaker 3: think that there's something more that needs to be done right,
29:24
Speaker 3: there's something more that we need to have, or we
29:27
Speaker 3: need to own, or you know, all that stuff. So
29:29
Speaker 3: it's I think that's really important. It is to take
29:31
Speaker 3: stock and be grateful for what we Oh, that was
29:35
Speaker 3: a peaceful day, you know, that was a good day.
29:40
Speaker 2: I had great I had great work, workout, my babies
29:43
Speaker 2: came back home safely. You know, those those simple, the
29:47
Speaker 2: simple things, those simple goals. And I tell people with
29:50
Speaker 2: healing and recovery, you don't want complicated when you're recovered.
29:57
Speaker 2: And you I tell people's three stages of healing recovery.
30:02
Speaker 2: There's isolation, there's hibernation, and there's a coon stage. And
30:05
Speaker 2: everybody says, what does that mean? I said, Isolation is
30:09
Speaker 2: you you're basically healing, You're basically come to terms with
30:18
Speaker 2: there's nobody there in isolation, it's just you and maybe
30:23
Speaker 2: the people that are meant to help you. Through your journey.
30:26
Speaker 2: So it's not your family, it's not none of that.
30:28
Speaker 2: It's just you by yourself.
30:31
Speaker 1: And now you're.
30:32
Speaker 2: Alone on this journey and you have nobody that you know,
30:36
Speaker 2: that you know personally walking with you. Is when you
30:40
Speaker 2: hit bottom and everybody walks away from you because you
30:43
Speaker 2: have nothing to offer them. You lost everything. So that
30:47
Speaker 2: isolation is when you lost everything and you're trying to
30:54
Speaker 2: sit still and just say, oh my god, this happened.
30:58
Speaker 2: I'm dealing with the emotions of it. I'm crying, I'm
31:02
Speaker 2: all over the place. Hibernation is okay now that I
31:06
Speaker 2: started crying, Now that I'm you know, not panicking anymore.
31:11
Speaker 2: Now it's let me just sit still and figure out
31:15
Speaker 2: what I need to do. Let me start researching how
31:20
Speaker 2: I'm going to get through this and how I'm going
31:23
Speaker 2: to make it through trying things and seeing what works.
31:27
Speaker 2: The hibernation, the cocoon stage is when you are preparing
31:32
Speaker 2: yourself to get to the other side of the darkness
31:37
Speaker 2: and getting into the light and being the phoenix and
31:41
Speaker 2: flying and being that butterfly. Because now that now you're
31:45
Speaker 2: that caterpillar that's.
31:48
Speaker 1: Been going on a slow journey.
31:51
Speaker 2: Now you're going into that cocoon and you're wrapping yourself
31:54
Speaker 2: into it, and now you're becoming this beautiful butterfly. You're
31:58
Speaker 2: coming out of that cave. You're coming out of that
32:01
Speaker 2: those chains that have been holding you back from your greatness.
32:05
Speaker 2: You've accepted your flaws and imperfections. You've accept that you
32:09
Speaker 2: turn them into strengths. You embraced the things you've been through,
32:16
Speaker 2: and now you close chapters. You have left the past behind,
32:21
Speaker 2: and now you're in this cocoon and now you're you're
32:27
Speaker 2: you're working out, you're walking, you're losing weight, You're you're
32:32
Speaker 2: figuring out what this new version of you is going
32:34
Speaker 2: to look like. But this new version of you's gonna
32:36
Speaker 2: do what this hill version is going to walk out into.
32:41
Speaker 1: You now know what the world is like. You've seen everything.
32:47
Speaker 2: Now you're going to face family and people not even
32:50
Speaker 2: gonna recognize you. And then you fly and now you're
32:55
Speaker 2: soaring and you're this beautiful butterfly, not based on nobody else.
33:00
Speaker 2: You the work that you did to become the butterfly,
33:04
Speaker 2: not depending on anybody else. Nobody was in your ear,
33:08
Speaker 2: nobody was telling what you can and cannot do. It
33:11
Speaker 2: was just you and the people that helped you through
33:14
Speaker 2: the journey, and now we're like the parents were letting
33:18
Speaker 2: you go and saying here, now.
33:20
Speaker 1: You're ready to go out here in the world.
33:21
Speaker 2: We're still here, but you're ready to get out here
33:24
Speaker 2: in the world. And so now you're maintaining that healing
33:29
Speaker 2: and recovery. You're maintaining that because you got to while
33:34
Speaker 2: you were in that cocoon and the isolation. In that
33:37
Speaker 2: hibernation stage, you were able to rest during that hibernation stage.
33:41
Speaker 2: You weren't always on this moon. Move move, move, move
33:42
Speaker 2: boomo trying to do for everybody else, lowering yourself. Now
33:45
Speaker 2: you're like, I get to enjoy the fruits of my labor.
33:50
Speaker 2: I get to enjoy just being one with me, and
33:53
Speaker 2: I get to enjoy all the blessings that I gave
33:57
Speaker 2: to everybody else. You just get to enjoy you for
34:01
Speaker 2: a little bit, and that hibernation stage you get the
34:03
Speaker 2: rest for a little bit. And then in that cocon stage,
34:06
Speaker 2: now I can do things on when I see fit.
34:09
Speaker 2: Now I know how what works for me. Now I'm
34:12
Speaker 2: actually doing it, and now I'm in the world, and
34:15
Speaker 2: that's that's the routine. And I will continue to do
34:18
Speaker 2: for the rest of my life unless I have to
34:20
Speaker 2: adapt or change. But the main, the majority that routine
34:25
Speaker 2: stays the same. Products may change, you know, the way
34:28
Speaker 2: you go about it may change, but you have a
34:30
Speaker 2: routine that works, and you're maintaining your health and moness.
34:34
Speaker 2: You're maintaining you know, no matter what anybody says to you,
34:39
Speaker 2: unless they put their hands on you, those words don't
34:42
Speaker 2: have any value. You know, you know how to make
34:45
Speaker 2: better choices and decisions and your actions, your behavior are better,
34:50
Speaker 2: your emotional intelligence is better, and now you want to
34:54
Speaker 2: maintain that. So now it's no longer I want to
34:56
Speaker 2: lure myself to build other people up.
34:58
Speaker 1: Now it's no If you're not.
35:01
Speaker 2: On the same level as me and you don't see
35:03
Speaker 2: yourself the way I see you, then I'm not going
35:06
Speaker 2: to do it. And I think that's that's important. And
35:10
Speaker 2: that's why I said, you know, to have people to
35:12
Speaker 2: help you on the journeys, and that's you know what
35:16
Speaker 2: we as coaches do. We assist you on your journey,
35:19
Speaker 2: but we don't lead you. We only guide you based
35:23
Speaker 2: on the direction you want to go, and we just
35:26
Speaker 2: help you to make sure you're staying in the right
35:28
Speaker 2: direction and you're not being manipulated a bamboollot and let
35:31
Speaker 2: us strain lie too.
35:33
Speaker 3: I would say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's a
35:37
Speaker 3: good that's a good definition.
35:39
Speaker 1: Yeah.
35:40
Speaker 2: I think that's important too, because you know, like I said,
35:44
Speaker 2: I didn't have that on my own journey. So to
35:48
Speaker 2: help people to say, you know what, I'm on this
35:52
Speaker 2: path and they come back and they say, I'm starting
35:54
Speaker 2: to I'm starting to doubt things.
35:56
Speaker 1: Why are you doubting things? Why are you questioning it?
36:00
Speaker 1: Your instincts are not wrong.
36:01
Speaker 2: If you feel you know it's not right, then weigh
36:06
Speaker 2: the pros and cons and cons outweigh the pros.
36:10
Speaker 3: Then you know not to do it.
36:11
Speaker 2: The pros outwag the cons. Then you go for it,
36:14
Speaker 2: but you mis make sure you look at everything. And
36:16
Speaker 2: I think we also teach people the importance of research,
36:20
Speaker 2: researching before they make decisions and making sure they're making
36:23
Speaker 2: the right decisions. But what I don't like is coaches
36:27
Speaker 2: that we'll say and I saw one that was about fittings.
36:31
Speaker 2: She said people shouldn't eat yogurt And I'm just sitting
36:34
Speaker 2: here like why not? So I think too many people
36:40
Speaker 2: they base themselves on what they did but not understanding.
36:47
Speaker 2: Not everybody's the same. We're all different.
36:51
Speaker 3: We're all different, We're all very different and different things.
36:54
Speaker 3: Some things that you know that I can participate in
36:58
Speaker 3: that I can, you know, eat other people people can't.
37:02
Speaker 3: Same thing with my with my wife, she can, she
37:04
Speaker 3: can eat certain foods and it doesn't affect her. And
37:07
Speaker 3: if I have the same thing, my body doesn't doesn't
37:11
Speaker 3: like it, it doesn't react. Now it's part of this
37:13
Speaker 3: because you know, from a certain age, your body changes.
37:16
Speaker 3: You're always changing, your your cells are constantly changing, your hormones,
37:21
Speaker 3: all of that. So things that I was able to
37:23
Speaker 3: participate in when I was in my twenties and it's
37:26
Speaker 3: not the same anymore now that I'm in my sixties.
37:29
Speaker 3: And that's okay. But it's also okay to say that
37:34
Speaker 3: this is for me, this is how I want to
37:37
Speaker 3: be right, not for everybody, but this is for me,
37:41
Speaker 3: and this is how I want to be.
37:43
Speaker 2: So and that's how you have more than one person
37:46
Speaker 2: to you know.
37:47
Speaker 3: Option, Yeah, absolutely absolutely.
37:53
Speaker 2: I just think that's important because, like I said, when
37:55
Speaker 2: I listen to people and they're saying, like there's a
37:57
Speaker 2: guy by the name of Michael Diving, what I look
37:59
Speaker 2: about him is that he talks about menopause from multiple
38:04
Speaker 2: different body types, and I think that is something a
38:07
Speaker 2: lot of people don't understand. There are some people that
38:09
Speaker 2: don't lose weight because thyroid issues, fibroid issues. I tell
38:13
Speaker 2: people that was the first thing I did. I went
38:15
Speaker 2: to the doctor to find out what was wrong, and
38:19
Speaker 2: come to find out, it wasn't the fact that I
38:21
Speaker 2: was eating. It was I had fibroids, a hernia, thyroid issues.
38:27
Speaker 1: I said.
38:27
Speaker 2: So when those things were cleared, and then having stomach issues,
38:34
Speaker 2: when I started learning about insulin and inflammation and how
38:39
Speaker 2: to go about doing that, and then having sixteen hour
38:43
Speaker 2: fastest versus fasting for thirty days, he said, you don't
38:47
Speaker 2: have to do that. You can fast every day for
38:49
Speaker 2: sixteen hours. Stop eating. It's his clock, wait sixteen hours
38:53
Speaker 2: and then eat. And then between this time and this
38:55
Speaker 2: time you eat, you work out, you walk, he said,
38:59
Speaker 2: But he's the treadmill doesn't work for everybody. You know,
39:03
Speaker 2: you can do as simple as walking. Some people, when
39:06
Speaker 2: they lose weight, they still do these extreme exercises.
39:09
Speaker 1: And he's like, no, because now you're you're eating away.
39:12
Speaker 2: Muscle, because you have no fat, you're losing muscle because
39:15
Speaker 2: you're you have no fat, he said, so you have
39:19
Speaker 2: to cut down. You still have to work out, you
39:22
Speaker 2: still have to maintain it, but you don't have to
39:26
Speaker 2: work as hard.
39:27
Speaker 1: If you do, you cut down your workouts. So I
39:30
Speaker 1: mean it made sense.
39:32
Speaker 2: And I was like, that makes sense. He said, yeah,
39:35
Speaker 2: it makes you know. It's just something where women are
39:38
Speaker 2: different because of our ministrual cycles or you know, our lifestyles,
39:43
Speaker 2: and those things pay.
39:45
Speaker 1: You know, play a factor.
39:46
Speaker 2: And when you talk about weights and you talk about
39:49
Speaker 2: health and wellness, I tell people it's not even about
39:52
Speaker 2: the weight. There are some people that lose weight and
39:54
Speaker 2: they still have they have more medical issues than they
39:57
Speaker 2: did when they were bigger. Because I tell people the
40:01
Speaker 2: one thing about bacteria and past asides and pain, it
40:06
Speaker 2: loves weights.
40:08
Speaker 1: It loves it.
40:10
Speaker 2: Because all them diseases and illnesses can hide behind the weight.
40:16
Speaker 2: The cancer and all of that can hide behind the weight.
40:19
Speaker 2: And then when the weight you lose, the weight you
40:23
Speaker 2: go to the doctor, they're now telling you, oh, you
40:27
Speaker 2: have this going on and that going on.
40:29
Speaker 1: Why didn't you see it when I went to.
40:31
Speaker 2: The hospital, he said, because weight covers all of that.
40:34
Speaker 1: Wow, you can't see me.
40:36
Speaker 2: You can't see it because it's all that weight. And
40:39
Speaker 2: when you're bigger, you're not as active, you're eating unhealthy,
40:44
Speaker 2: And then your brain is fixed sating on relationships and
40:49
Speaker 2: fixated on the everyday decisions that it doesn't understand what
40:54
Speaker 2: the body goes through. And then when both shut down,
40:58
Speaker 2: that's when both of them finally see, oh, okay, wait
41:03
Speaker 2: a minute, now I now see the damage I'm doing
41:06
Speaker 2: to my body. Now the body is like, okay, I
41:10
Speaker 2: see what you know me my reaction far as my
41:15
Speaker 2: emotions and pain has caused the brain and now you're like,
41:18
Speaker 2: wait a minute, now, we need now, now we need
41:21
Speaker 2: to understand each other and figure each other out, to
41:23
Speaker 2: figure out how we're going to go about understanding how
41:26
Speaker 2: to live the rest of our lives and peace. And
41:29
Speaker 2: then once you once you start healing, both and both
41:33
Speaker 2: are able to understand the other, which was hard to
41:37
Speaker 2: do because I said, the neck only is the thing
41:39
Speaker 2: that connects both of them alone with the nervous system.
41:42
Speaker 2: I said, now the nerd. Now, the nervous system not
41:46
Speaker 2: only connects to the body. So now when I make decisions,
41:48
Speaker 2: I'm like, wait a minute, how's this going to affect
41:50
Speaker 2: me internally? How is this going to affect me externally?
41:53
Speaker 2: How's this going to affect my health and woneness? How's
41:55
Speaker 2: this going to affect my my my household? How is
41:58
Speaker 2: this going to affect this? Before I make a decision,
42:02
Speaker 2: because yeah, even though it feels good, it doesn't mean that.
42:07
Speaker 2: You know, I tell people feelings are just a temporary
42:10
Speaker 2: They're temporary, it's not permanent. But it's just like the
42:13
Speaker 2: same high you get off an addiction. You know, what
42:17
Speaker 2: you're willing to do to get that high is not
42:19
Speaker 2: just about drugs and alcohol. It can be relationships, it
42:22
Speaker 2: can be jobs, it can be all kinds of stuff.
42:25
Speaker 3: I said.
42:25
Speaker 2: So you have to learn that even though you may
42:29
Speaker 2: want that thing or that person, you got to think
42:33
Speaker 2: about the long run, how is that person gonna affect
42:37
Speaker 2: you in all aspects of your life before you just
42:41
Speaker 2: say Okay, I'm just gonna bring this person in my
42:43
Speaker 2: life and they don't contribute anything, or they bring their
42:48
Speaker 2: drama because they got drama too. They got chaos two
42:53
Speaker 2: you know, they got passed too.
42:55
Speaker 1: So you're not just bringing this.
42:57
Speaker 2: Person in because they look good because they got a
42:59
Speaker 2: nice car, they're good in bed. No, you need to
43:02
Speaker 2: look at what else they bring, their past experience and how.
43:06
Speaker 1: They make the whole package of it all.
43:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, the whole package you gotta do.
43:13
Speaker 2: Yes, So yeah, you definitely have to look at all
43:19
Speaker 2: of it. And that's what I would say. That's the
43:21
Speaker 2: one thing I love about being a coach is that
43:24
Speaker 2: you know, because you're gonna get a lot of But
43:25
Speaker 2: I love him, Okay, you love him? Why because because
43:32
Speaker 2: he pays the bill?
43:34
Speaker 3: Okay, no reason, that's not it.
43:38
Speaker 1: You can pay your own bills.
43:40
Speaker 2: You're know. I learned mommy daddy child dynamics, and I'm
43:44
Speaker 2: learning a lot of people want parents because a lot
43:47
Speaker 2: of women don't have their fathers and a lot of
43:50
Speaker 2: them are looking for daddies and a lot of the
43:53
Speaker 2: men are looking for mommies.
43:53
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I don't want It's not a good combination.
44:01
Speaker 3: How about being How about being friends first? How about
44:04
Speaker 3: actually liking the person first? Right? That's the thing is
44:08
Speaker 3: that I think people jump into relationships and it's based
44:12
Speaker 3: on chemistry and it's very quick and it's very you know,
44:17
Speaker 3: but all of that can that can fade. And what
44:20
Speaker 3: you really want is you really want to know how
44:21
Speaker 3: that person's going to behave under stress, under stressful situations
44:27
Speaker 3: when everything's all finding good, everything's all finding good, But
44:31
Speaker 3: how do they react when there's a stressful situation, when
44:34
Speaker 3: there's pressure. That is really really important. And a lot
44:38
Speaker 3: of people they get together and they don't. They're not friends.
44:43
Speaker 3: They're not they're not friends. And if you're going to
44:45
Speaker 3: especially if you're going to marry somebody, you're talking about lifetime.
44:50
Speaker 3: So you need to like that person, not just what
44:54
Speaker 3: they give you, but what you need to like that
44:57
Speaker 3: person for who they are. And that's something that I
45:02
Speaker 3: think also we should be teaching in schools as well.
45:05
Speaker 3: And relationships, you know, critical thinking and relationships I think
45:09
Speaker 3: are really important to teach kids. Not romantic relationships necessarily,
45:15
Speaker 3: but relationships with with with people. Right, what your boundaries?
45:22
Speaker 3: You know, speaking up for your boundaries. No, that's not right,
45:25
Speaker 3: or I don't feel No, I don't want to do
45:28
Speaker 3: that because that does not feel right for me. Right,
45:31
Speaker 3: You don't teach kids that and so.
45:33
Speaker 2: Maintain maintaining them boundaries because they will they'll drop their
45:37
Speaker 2: boundaries to make everybody else happy.
45:40
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I absolutely I think that's absolutely critical.
45:47
Speaker 2: I agree, I absolutely do because that's one thing I
45:52
Speaker 2: teach my son is that your boundaries are important and
45:56
Speaker 2: keeping those boundaries are important. I'm on non negotiables.
46:02
Speaker 1: What are your non negotiables?
46:04
Speaker 2: And why are you letting go of those non negotiables
46:11
Speaker 2: because the other person is you know. But that's about it.
46:14
Speaker 2: But how can people reach you as far as being
46:18
Speaker 2: able to get in touch with you as far as coaching.
46:22
Speaker 3: Super easy and they can find out about all the
46:25
Speaker 3: all of the different goodies that I offer by going
46:28
Speaker 3: to Expert authoritycoach dot com. That's expert Authoritycoach dot com
46:35
Speaker 3: and I offer a free a complimentary strategy session so
46:39
Speaker 3: we can talk about this in particular about building your
46:42
Speaker 3: authority through the things that you're passionate about. So we
46:46
Speaker 3: talk about creating. We might we might create tiktoks together,
46:50
Speaker 3: we might work on your website. If you don't have
46:52
Speaker 3: a website, we might get you one and get you,
46:55
Speaker 3: you know, started. But it's all about that branding and
46:58
Speaker 3: how you want to present yourself to the outside world.
47:01
Speaker 3: And that's the best place to reach me. Expert Authority
47:03
Speaker 3: Coach dot com.
47:05
Speaker 2: Pay well, I thank you for doing this for me,
47:08
Speaker 2: and we're definitely gonna be going on your part. You're oh,
47:10
Speaker 2: you're welcome, and we'll definitely be on your podcast and
47:13
Speaker 2: we'll go into that because you're gonna teach me some
47:15
Speaker 2: things because I knew now to the websites and new
47:21
Speaker 2: to this and learning from you is on on your
47:24
Speaker 2: episode is going to be very very very very great.
47:26
Speaker 1: And I appreciate you.
47:28
Speaker 3: Thank you, Donald, I appreciate you. I appreciate you. You're lovely.
47:34
Speaker 2: Say guys, So, guys, this is mental pleasure and I
47:37
Speaker 2: definitely enjoyed having miss Christine on here, and I appreciate
47:44
Speaker 2: you all for joining me for this episode. And with
47:46
Speaker 2: that being said, we are out of here and I
47:49
Speaker 2: will see you guys next week. Bye guys, Bye bye