Latest / Stories That Live In Us / Raising 8 Kids After Divorce with Music, Faith, and Family Roots (with Bubba Page) | Episode 124

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Raising 8 Kids After Divorce with Music, Faith, and Family Roots (with Bubba Page) | Episode 124 · Stories That Live In Us

0:00
Crista Cowan: When Bubba Page walked into our podcast studio, he was holding a rare piece of family history in his hands.
0:05
Crista Cowan: An original 1960 vinyl record featuring his grandfather Sheryl as the bass singer for an international championship quartet.
0:13
Crista Cowan: Bubba grew up watching his grandpa play the organ completely by ear and making up words as he sang.
0:20
Crista Cowan: Bubba's grandma taught him how to jitterbug right in her tiny living room.
0:25
Crista Cowan: Music and joyful connection are in his DNA.
0:29
Crista Cowan: But two years ago, Bubba faced a painful life transition, a divorce that meant he would now only have his eight children half of the time.
0:38
Crista Cowan: And suddenly every single moment mattered.
0:41
Crista Cowan: Bubba realized that passing down family values and faith and resilience couldn't be left to chance or passive weekend routines.
0:49
Crista Cowan: So he took that same musical spark he inherited from his grandparents and transformed it into Sunday afternoon jam sessions, daily habits, and intentional life lessons for his kids before they leave the nest.
1:03
Crista Cowan: In this episode, Bubba shares how leaning into his roots has helped him heal, how his great-grandfather's depression era work ethic shapes his home today, and how we can all become more intentional parents and grandparents, even through some of life's hardest chapters.
1:20
Crista Cowan: Whether you're holding on to old family records or searching for practical ways to build deeper roots with the people you love most, you're gonna want to stick around for this episode.
1:30
Crista Cowan: Enjoy my conversation with Bubba Page.
1:34
Crista Cowan: Hi, I'm Krista Kellen, and this is the podcast where telling your family stories can help create a deeply connected family.
1:42
Crista Cowan: Welcome to Stories That Live In Us.
1:45
Crista Cowan: Well, Bubba, I'm so excited to have this conversation with you and to get to know you a little bit better.
1:54
Crista Cowan: Thanks for being here.
1:55
Bubba Page: Absolutely.
1:56
Bubba Page: This is awesome.
1:56
Bubba Page: And what a cool studio.
1:58
Bubba Page: I know you can't see this from the other side of the camera, but this is rad.
2:01
Crista Cowan: It's a super fun space.
2:02
Crista Cowan: We're really grateful that Ancestry uh allows us to film here and to have these conversations because they matter to the family history work that we're doing.
2:11
Crista Cowan: Um, but with you in particular, I would just love to start with hearing a little bit about how you how and where you grew up.
2:17
Bubba Page: No, yeah.
2:17
Bubba Page: So I was born here in Utah.
2:19
Crista Cowan: Me too.
2:20
Bubba Page: So that's unique.
2:21
Bubba Page: And then grew up in California.
2:22
Bubba Page: And I grew up in California.
2:23
Bubba Page: So here we go.
2:24
Bubba Page: So I grew up, it was um Murray's whenever where I was born, but I I lived in Midvale, Utah for about the first six years of my life.
2:32
Bubba Page: And then my family moved to the San Francisco Bay Area.
2:35
Crista Cowan: Okay.
2:36
Bubba Page: So uh I call San Francisco home, the Bay Area home.
2:40
Bubba Page: And that's where I spent most of my time until the end of my junior year of high school.
2:44
Bubba Page: And then my dad got a job change and went to Arizona.
2:47
Bubba Page: Okay.
2:48
Bubba Page: So I ended up finishing just my senior year in Mesa, Arizona, before I came out to BYU and then lived in Brazil for two years on a volunteer service mission for my church, uh, the Church of Jesus Christ Latter-day Saints.
3:00
Bubba Page: And then um, and then I never left.
3:03
Bubba Page: I came back to BYU, got married, eight kids later, and still right here.
3:08
Bubba Page: There you go.
3:10
Crista Cowan: Mountain View or Mesa High.
3:11
Crista Cowan: Mountain View.
3:12
Crista Cowan: Okay.
3:12
Crista Cowan: Go Toros.
3:13
Crista Cowan: All of my best friends were at WorToros.
3:16
Crista Cowan: Oh my gosh, that's so funny.
3:18
Crista Cowan: So I was born here.
3:20
Crista Cowan: My parents were both born and raised in Los Angeles.
3:22
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
3:22
Crista Cowan: They came up to BYU.
3:23
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
3:23
Crista Cowan: And I was born while they were going to school.
3:25
Crista Cowan: And then they moved back to California.
3:27
Crista Cowan: So all four of my younger siblings born in California.
3:29
Crista Cowan: We lived in LA.
3:31
Crista Cowan: We lived in Turlock, if you know where that is in the Central Valley.
3:33
Crista Cowan: Um, it's kind of by Modesto.
3:36
Crista Cowan: Okay.
3:36
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
3:36
Crista Cowan: And then uh my, let's see, eighth grade year, we moved up to Portland.
3:41
Crista Cowan: And then the middle of my junior year, we moved up to Washington.
3:44
Bubba Page: Oh my gosh.
3:44
Bubba Page: So you moved up.
3:46
Crista Cowan: So yeah, a ton.
3:46
Crista Cowan: So I left home 10 days after high school graduation because I was done with my parents dictating where I got.
3:54
Bubba Page: You were done.
3:54
Bubba Page: You're an adult.
3:56
Bubba Page: I wasn't actually.
3:57
Crista Cowan: I was still 17.
3:58
Crista Cowan: I didn't turn 18 for five more months.
4:00
Bubba Page: Oh my gosh.
4:01
Crista Cowan: But um, they let me go away to school early.
4:03
Bubba Page: And but you said you were the oldest daughter here.
4:05
Bubba Page: So you had some oldest daughter energy.
4:08
Bubba Page: A lot of that, yeah.
4:09
Bubba Page: Sure.
4:09
Bubba Page: You know, I know you can't see this in the studio, but I brought my two daughters, right?
4:13
Bubba Page: Oldest daughter energy here, middle daughters here, Priya and Davy.
4:18
Crista Cowan: Love that.
4:18
Bubba Page: I love Priya.
4:19
Crista Cowan: Oh, so fun.
4:20
Crista Cowan: And I love when people bring families into the studio because the conversations that we have are sometimes stories that they haven't heard before.
4:26
Crista Cowan: Exactly.
4:27
Crista Cowan: So they get to hear them firsthand.
4:28
Bubba Page: I wanted them to come and experience this with me anyway.
4:31
Bubba Page: I love that.
4:32
Bubba Page: Um, so where do you fall in birth order?
4:34
Bubba Page: I'm the youngest of four.
4:36
Bubba Page: Okay.
4:36
Bubba Page: So one older sister, very, very close to, and my two older brothers.
4:40
Bubba Page: Um, I shared a room with my second older brother, and uh which was hilarious because I don't think he loved that.
4:47
Bubba Page: Okay.
4:48
Bubba Page: As an older sister, I can which I understand, either what I'm to share.
4:53
Bubba Page: Um, but we're still close to this day.
4:55
Bubba Page: I mean, all the siblings, I'm the only one living you lives in Utah.
4:58
Bubba Page: Okay.
4:58
Bubba Page: So we have another Mesa.
5:00
Bubba Page: We uh my oldest brother's in Mesa, then we have Georgia, my next brother, and then my sister lives in our old hometown in Walnut Creek, California.
5:08
Crista Cowan: That's amazing.
5:09
Crista Cowan: So with the moving around, yeah, uh, did all four of your grandparents stay here in Utah?
5:14
Bubba Page: All of them.
5:15
Crista Cowan: And did you know all four of them?
5:16
Bubba Page: Yes.
5:16
Bubba Page: Yeah.
5:17
Bubba Page: So I was able to grow up with those grandparents.
5:19
Bubba Page: Um, and you know, we're gonna talk about one of them today.
5:22
Bubba Page: So on this album cover, I had to bring this.
5:25
Bubba Page: One thing.
5:26
Bubba Page: Because I mean, first of all, how many of us have even held these old records?
5:31
Bubba Page: And I know my kids who are sitting over there, they don't really the first time I showed them they're like this, yeah.
5:37
Bubba Page: And so the original record right here um of my grandpa and the Evans Quartet.
5:42
Bubba Page: So this is my mom's, let's see if you can see this sign.
5:45
Bubba Page: My mom's dad, um, Cheryl Bextead, was the bass singer of the 1960 International Quartet Champions, the Evans Quartet.
5:57
Bubba Page: That's right.
5:57
Bubba Page: And they lived in Midvale in the same home that my mom was like born into.
6:03
Bubba Page: Yeah.
6:03
Bubba Page: Uh up until my grandma had to go to Aness's living facility.
6:07
Bubba Page: So, I mean, a very long time.
6:09
Bubba Page: It was like 68 years or something like that.
6:11
Bubba Page: And um, and then my dad's parents, uh, they spent a little bit of time in Idaho, but most of the time was were right here in Utah.
6:18
Crista Cowan: Okay.
6:19
Bubba Page: Homer and June Page.
6:20
Bubba Page: You gotta love these names.
6:22
Crista Cowan: Homer and June.
6:23
Crista Cowan: What were the other grandparents?
6:24
Bubba Page: Homer and June Page, and then my my mom's parents are Cheryl and Shirley Bextead.
6:30
Bubba Page: Literally, Shirley and Shirley found each other, got married, they went to Jordan High, the beat diggers.
6:36
Bubba Page: I mean, it's just so fun to hear hear their their history for me to get to know them.
6:41
Bubba Page: And it's sad because I'll be honest, I don't know a ton about my great-grandparents.
6:46
Bubba Page: I know little snippets of stories like my my dad's dad was just like this workaholic.
6:52
Bubba Page: He was climbing trees in his 90s, you know, picking fruit from the trees and talking about like straightening nails so that they could reuse them.
7:02
Bubba Page: It was the depression.
7:03
Bubba Page: Oh my gosh, it was amazing.
7:04
Bubba Page: I mean, they would take wood from uh like chicken coops and help to build the local churches with reuse it and reuse the materials.
7:14
Bubba Page: Like some of the stories were fantastic.
7:16
Bubba Page: Come to find out in our newlywed townhome in South Salt Lake, we were going to this church, and my parents um came to visit, and and it was a brand new townhome.
7:26
Bubba Page: I had built it even before I had just built it when we were engaged.
7:30
Bubba Page: We weren't even married yet.
7:31
Bubba Page: And uh, and then we moved in after we were married.
7:34
Bubba Page: The same church we were going to as a family was the one my great-grandfather helped to build.
7:39
Bubba Page: And you didn't I had no idea until my parents came and said, You're on this street with this building.
7:46
Bubba Page: So it's been so fascinating as I've you know now live or have purchased properties or whatever, that that my ancestry is all over the place.
7:56
Bubba Page: And I have to think that that is not by coincidence.
7:59
Bubba Page: No, not at all.
8:00
Bubba Page: That there are moving parts on the other side of this veil that I can't see that are you know making this kind of thing happen.
8:08
Bubba Page: And I truly believe in angels on the other side and whether you call them guardian angels or whatnot, you know, that these ancestors are here, they're watching, you know, me and my kids, they're protecting us, they're maybe whispering, you know, thoughts in my mind.
8:22
Bubba Page: Um, and I think it's been it's been inspiring to kind of think through that.
8:26
Crista Cowan: I love that.
8:26
Crista Cowan: Yeah, it's so interesting because I so of my four grandparents, only one of them was LDS.
8:31
Bubba Page: Oh, no way.
8:32
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
8:32
Crista Cowan: So my dad was raised in a part member home, my mother was a convert to the church.
8:36
Crista Cowan: And so, like just that one little line.
8:39
Crista Cowan: And as a genealogist, as a I was a baby genealogist.
8:42
Crista Cowan: Like I started doing family history when I was a kid because I was a super nerd.
8:45
Crista Cowan: And um and I was always so focused on the other three lines because everybody else was working on grandma's lines, right?
8:52
Crista Cowan: And so I just didn't learn a lot about it.
8:54
Crista Cowan: Well, I didn't move to Utah till after school.
8:56
Crista Cowan: I moved here to work for BYU and immediately was like, wait, like I was born here and I'm pretty sure I have family from here, and so I started wanting to learn more.
9:06
Crista Cowan: I now live in Pleasant Grove.
9:08
Crista Cowan: Yeah, and the first day we moved there, I walked out onto the balcony of my condo the next morning and I looked at Mount Tempanogus and I just burst into tears.
9:16
Crista Cowan: Like I felt like I had come home.
9:18
Crista Cowan: That's incredible.
9:19
Crista Cowan: And then I realized my great-grandmother, who I didn't know, but I knew her husband.
9:24
Crista Cowan: But my great-grandmother looked at this mountain every day of her life.
9:27
Crista Cowan: She was born right here in Pleasant Grove and lived her whole life here until she married the boy from Lehi and moved to Idaho, and then they moved to California.
9:35
Crista Cowan: And like, wow, and so to all of a sudden feel like I had a place because growing up moving so much, I had never felt that before.
9:43
Crista Cowan: That is special.
9:44
Crista Cowan: And so, yeah, like I absolutely believe that like we end up where we belong.
9:47
Bubba Page: I think we and I hope, I hope that as we try to pay attention to what God's trying to speak to us, that we'll be guided to those certain places.
9:56
Bubba Page: And maybe it's we land in a certain spot, we don't know why, but we're there to help someone, or we're there to learn something, or we're there to reconnect, like you did with that with that view.
10:06
Bubba Page: I think that's amazing.
10:07
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
10:08
Crista Cowan: So uh as you were growing up, knowing your grandparents, like, were there stories they told or things that kind of helped shape your family culture?
10:15
Bubba Page: Absolutely.
10:15
Bubba Page: So my gr my grandmother, Grandma Shirley Bexted, she was a jitterbug girl.
10:21
Bubba Page: Okay.
10:21
Bubba Page: So jitterbug, to my understanding, was a little bit like swing dancing.
10:25
Bubba Page: Uh-huh.
10:25
Bubba Page: And so we would, she, my grandmother, would teach me how to do the jitterbug.
10:30
Bubba Page: And so we would do that in her little tiny house.
10:33
Bubba Page: And we're talking tiny house, like maybe 1200 square feet, right?
10:36
Bubba Page: And how many kids did she raise in that house?
10:38
Bubba Page: You know what?
10:39
Bubba Page: She actually only had one.
10:40
Bubba Page: My mom was an only child.
10:41
Bubba Page: Okay.
10:42
Bubba Page: Which is a fascinating other side of the story.
10:44
Bubba Page: Um, and I have so many questions that I don't think I ever got answered while they were living.
10:49
Bubba Page: Um, but so my mom was an only child.
10:52
Bubba Page: She was basically raised with her cousins.
10:54
Bubba Page: Okay.
10:54
Bubba Page: And what's interesting is my so Cheryl and Shirley, wonderful people.
11:00
Bubba Page: Um but they drank and smoked and and didn't do the church thing.
11:04
Bubba Page: That wasn't their deal.
11:06
Bubba Page: But to my understanding, my grandfather, um, Cheryl Bextead, always paid his tithing.
11:12
Bubba Page: Interesting.
11:12
Bubba Page: Which of all the things you're gonna do, pay your time because he knew and felt like that was always a blessing for he and his family.
11:20
Bubba Page: And so uh in near closer to the end of his life, he did end up quit quitting smoking and he'd stopped drinking.
11:28
Bubba Page: But he was never active in our in the church, never active going, but he would do genealogy work and the uh what was it called?
11:36
Bubba Page: The old film.
11:37
Bubba Page: He would do microfilm as a service.
11:40
Bubba Page: And it was fascinating to watch him kind of connect in those certain ways.
11:45
Bubba Page: Um my grandma, she I mean, she died at 94 and smoked till the day she died.
11:49
Bubba Page: It was hilarious.
11:50
Bubba Page: Go her or Virginia Slims, right?
11:53
Bubba Page: What were your grandparent names for them?
11:55
Bubba Page: Oh uh it was just grandma grandpa.
11:57
Bubba Page: Okay, yeah, we didn't have nicknames, which is funny because both sets of my kids, you know, my parents and their and their mom's parents, all have nicknames.
12:04
Bubba Page: Yeah, um, Nana and Poppy are my side, and Mimi and Grandpa are the other side.
12:08
Bubba Page: I guess grandma's normal.
12:10
Bubba Page: Um but anyway, so growing up with them, so she would teach me the jitterbug, which now I've had a chance to do a little bit of swing dancing with my girls, but I just feel like just the dancing, the music in the home, we have a little plaque right next to our kitchen sink that says, This kitchen is meant for dancing.
12:26
Bubba Page: And do we do it all the time?
12:28
Bubba Page: No.
12:29
Bubba Page: But you know, it's something that reminds us when the music turns on, we can have fun and be goofy and play around.
12:34
Bubba Page: I love that.
12:35
Bubba Page: Um, which is which is a fun element.
12:36
Bubba Page: So I feel like she passed along kind of that dancing jitterbug, right?
12:42
Bubba Page: And uh, and I remember even when I was a teenager, um, I ended up performing as a swing dancer.
12:49
Bubba Page: And uh what was fascinating is I got to dance.
12:53
Bubba Page: If she ever watches this, it'll be hilarious because I thought she was the cutest.
12:56
Bubba Page: She was a year older, and um, and then there was another partner, and and both of the girls were a year older that we were seventh grade, they were eighth grade.
13:04
Bubba Page: We thought that was pretty cool.
13:05
Bubba Page: I was a seventh grade boy to dance with a cute eighth grader, right?
13:08
Bubba Page: Um, and we performed for different like uh church activities or performances, which were so much fun.
13:15
Bubba Page: Um, I was never a professional, I never like competed, none of that.
13:20
Bubba Page: But from a music standpoint, um obviously having my grandfather, um where did I put so having grandpa beck, grandpa beckstead be in this, he always was playing the piano.
13:32
Bubba Page: He had this little organ, I still have it to this day.
13:35
Bubba Page: So when they were moving out of the home, uh I mean it's very big and heavy, but this this organ I had to keep in the family.
13:43
Bubba Page: I just had to because it reminded me of him.
13:45
Bubba Page: Because every time we'd go and um visit their home, he would sit on the the the organ and play.
13:51
Bubba Page: And he'd sing along in his his bass baritone voice.
13:56
Bubba Page: And he never had music.
13:57
Bubba Page: He played by ear.
13:58
Bubba Page: Wow.
13:59
Bubba Page: And so as he played, we would sit around and he would sing, we would listen, we'd sing along if we knew the words.
14:05
Bubba Page: And if he didn't know the words, he would make them up.
14:07
Bubba Page: I've still got some recordings.
14:09
Bubba Page: My dad does that.
14:10
Bubba Page: Unfortunately, he does it with church hymns in the middle of church.
14:13
Bubba Page: Oh, that's amazing.
14:15
Bubba Page: I just loved it because I didn't know as a kid he'd make it up.
14:18
Bubba Page: I didn't know any different, right?
14:19
Bubba Page: But then, you know, as an adult listening back to some of the videos we have of him singing, it's hilarious because he'll just make it up.
14:24
Bubba Page: Yeah.
14:25
Bubba Page: Um, but I do feel like I I'm you can probably hear my voice, not a professional singer, a little more raspy.
14:33
Bubba Page: Sure.
14:33
Bubba Page: So, you know, a little more Don Don K not Don Cash, uh Johnny Cash type of vibe.
14:39
Bubba Page: Um, but uh music has continued to be an element of my life.
14:44
Bubba Page: I ended up joining a band in high school.
14:46
Crista Cowan: Okay.
14:47
Bubba Page: And uh you'll understand this.
14:49
Bubba Page: Hopefully, some of those who are watching.
14:51
Bubba Page: The main guy who put it together, his name was Jared.
14:54
Bubba Page: And and he was LDS, and then the drummer, he was LDS, and the um the bass player was not.
15:00
Bubba Page: And we played mostly cover songs from the 90s, you know, kind of thing.
15:06
Bubba Page: Uh some some red hot chili peppers or some Dave Matthews band or some you know, Sublime kind of things, you know, maybe questionable to my parents' you know, musical standards.
15:17
Bubba Page: But then he would write his own music, and so we play.
15:20
Bubba Page: He called the name of the band The Brothers of Jared.
15:24
Crista Cowan: Okay.
15:25
Bubba Page: And um, and it was it was just so fun to go and play for the high school or go play for a please tell me there is footage of that somewhere.
15:31
Crista Cowan: Oh, absolutely.
15:32
Bubba Page: We might need to get a little b-roll video.
15:34
Bubba Page: I did have bleached blonde hair with Puka Shell necklaces, um, but that's that was the style of the day.
15:43
Bubba Page: And but anyway, so music obviously was an important place.
15:46
Bubba Page: So there was a photo of my dad with I believe it's my oldest brother, young, two or three years old, and my dad's playing the guitar.
15:55
Bubba Page: And um I believe I may have a picture with him playing the guitar, but he ended up selling the guitar to help pay for expenses.
16:02
Bubba Page: He was going through medical school, he ended up becoming a podiatrist.
16:06
Bubba Page: And um and I remember seeing that picture and being so sad that he had to sell his beloved guitar because my dad was also in a band, and his mom, June Page, she was so scared of him because it was kind of hippie era.
16:22
Bubba Page: Yeah, right?
16:23
Bubba Page: He she was so scared that he was gonna become a hippie and go down this wrong path.
16:27
Bubba Page: She hid his bandana and necklaces.
16:31
Bubba Page: Oh my gosh.
16:32
Bubba Page: And he was going to go and perform, and he couldn't find him, and his mom was just, mm-hmm.
16:36
Bubba Page: I'm not telling him where they are.
16:38
Bubba Page: I'm not gonna have him wear these, you know, these hippie clothes.
16:41
Bubba Page: A little subtle control.
16:42
Bubba Page: Oh, a hundred percent.
16:44
Bubba Page: And my dad was one of the best kids ever, like never did anything wrong, was always a good kid, and the oldest of five in his in his family.
16:52
Bubba Page: Um, but his band name was The Flight of Icarus.
16:56
Bubba Page: Okay, which is the super mythology.
16:58
Bubba Page: Yes, yes.
17:00
Bubba Page: So, you know, I I didn't realize this until thinking back now, where you know, my dad was in this band, he played a little bit of guitar, he was the vocalist, beautiful voice.
17:10
Bubba Page: My mom sang in every choir I've ever, you know, any church we've ever been to, she's always been in the choirs, beautiful voice as well.
17:17
Bubba Page: Um, I didn't get their talent in the voice department necessarily.
17:21
Bubba Page: But like to be able to be in a band and play, and I still, when I bought my first guitar, I made sure that if I sold that guitar, I replaced it with a different one.
17:30
Bubba Page: I had to have a guitar in my home.
17:33
Bubba Page: And uh, although we don't play it every day, but I've got my kids over here.
17:37
Bubba Page: I do try to get them to come and play with me sometimes.
17:39
Bubba Page: And um, so my son plays the piano, my daughter loves to sing, I've got another one who likes to play the violin.
17:46
Bubba Page: Um, I do try to get bass pianos like the bass line in our home so that they have some fundamentals of music.
17:52
Bubba Page: But then we typically every Sunday afternoon we'll play together.
17:55
Bubba Page: And I'll pick up the guitar, my son will play on the piano, and if I can convince the girls, they'll come and sing with me.
18:00
Bubba Page: My son also plays the drums, and we did instead of a full-blown drum set, we got those electric ones.
18:06
Crista Cowan: Oh, uh-huh.
18:06
Bubba Page: And it's a good quality with a speaker, and it sounds amazing, and it takes up way less space, and he can put on headphones so the neighbors and I don't have to hear everything.
18:16
Bubba Page: But music has been a key component in our lives.
18:21
Bubba Page: I know there was a a time frame while child rearing was in full effect with eight children.
18:27
Bubba Page: Um, you know, by the way, I don't know if I've mentioned that.
18:29
Bubba Page: Eight children.
18:30
Bubba Page: How old's the oldest?
18:31
Bubba Page: Six-year-old twins are are the youngest, boy girl twins, and we have a 16-year-old boy.
18:36
Bubba Page: Okay.
18:36
Bubba Page: So four boys, four girls.
18:39
Bubba Page: It is my what I call my beautiful chaos.
18:42
Bubba Page: I absolutely love it.
18:44
Crista Cowan: It could be not just a band, a whole orchestra.
18:46
Bubba Page: We could have a whole orchestra if I can convince these guys to keep playing with me.
18:49
Bubba Page: So Sundays afternoon are kind of our our band time.
18:52
Bubba Page: And uh what's been nice is that the kids are now talented enough to play just about any song.
18:59
Bubba Page: Not, you know, perfectly and not every riff or anything like that.
19:03
Bubba Page: But uh, we use an app called Cortify, you know, hashtag NOF sponsored.
19:06
Bubba Page: Um, because it will it will tell us the chords of what they are, whether it's you're playing on the piano or or on the guitar.
19:13
Bubba Page: And and so any radio song that they want to play, we pick it up, we can play it, and within a minute or two, we're good to go.
19:20
Crista Cowan: Love that.
19:20
Bubba Page: And it brings, you know, it brings joy to my heart for sure.
19:24
Bubba Page: Yeah.
19:25
Crista Cowan: Does anybody play by ear like your grandpa did?
19:28
Bubba Page: So um my son has has they've never really had formal training.
19:33
Bubba Page: Yeah, we had uh maybe a piano teacher for three or four months, and then we've been using another app um called Usition.
19:40
Bubba Page: And so do they play by ear?
19:44
Bubba Page: Kind of.
19:45
Bubba Page: You know, they try to figure that out, but Usician really has helped them to learn the correct chords, the you know, where things are on the piano.
19:52
Bubba Page: Reading music isn't their forte.
19:54
Bubba Page: Sure.
19:55
Bubba Page: Um not in the traditional sense because these these applications now show you like where to put your fingers versus the notes.
20:01
Bubba Page: So we're trying to transition them from one to read music completely.
20:05
Bubba Page: That's the goal.
20:06
Crista Cowan: Okay.
20:07
Crista Cowan: Any of them perform like school choirs or absolutely yeah.
20:11
Bubba Page: So uh my drummer son, uh, he was in the band this last year um and played on the you know percussion.
20:17
Bubba Page: Um, my daughter's been in the choir and loves the choir.
20:21
Bubba Page: Um, and then the younger ones are just getting into like where they could start choir and things like that.
20:26
Bubba Page: So that's the hope is to keep it going.
20:28
Bubba Page: And what do you think Grandpa Sherl thinks about that?
20:31
Bubba Page: Oh, he loves it.
20:32
Bubba Page: He absolutely, you know, there have been times where I've honestly felt his presence in our home when we are just having a good time as a family, playing around.
20:42
Bubba Page: We've been asked to perform at church, you know, events or in in the actual church sacrament meetings.
20:48
Bubba Page: And I love doing it because of the time we spend practicing together.
20:53
Bubba Page: Not about the performance.
20:55
Bubba Page: It was all about the time practicing because that's quality family time.
20:59
Bubba Page: The kids are doing something that they hopefully are enjoying.
21:02
Bubba Page: Um, I absolutely enjoy it, and then it's a memory that we can keep forever.
21:07
Bubba Page: Yeah.
21:07
Bubba Page: So I I love it.
21:09
Bubba Page: And are you recording some of these sessions?
21:10
Bubba Page: So you have footage of that too.
21:12
Bubba Page: Absolutely.
21:13
Bubba Page: I've got it all.
21:14
Bubba Page: I've posted it on social media.
21:16
Crista Cowan: You find it on Instagram.
21:18
Crista Cowan: Love that.
21:19
Crista Cowan: So, like music, like it's this beautiful analogy for like working together and like everybody has their part, and how that can make beautiful music.
21:31
Crista Cowan: And so, as you think about eight kids, right?
21:33
Crista Cowan: And um, you also haven't discussed, like, you recently went through a divorce, and like so it was chaos probably before, it's probably a different kind of chaos now.
21:42
Crista Cowan: How does music like, is there a lesson learned there?
21:47
Bubba Page: Yeah, I mean, if you think of uh for me, an analogy with music and the harmony that it can play together.
21:52
Bubba Page: Um look, when when you have two kids, it's wild, right?
21:56
Bubba Page: When you have four kids, it's wild.
21:57
Bubba Page: You have eight kids, it's a lot.
21:59
Bubba Page: And but But a lot in such a beautiful way because everyone has a part to play.
22:03
Bubba Page: And we were, I was just telling my kids driving over here that my my oldest son, we only have two more years.
22:09
Bubba Page: And then he's out of the house and he'll most likely choose to serve a mission.
22:13
Bubba Page: And then he'll be in college and gone.
22:15
Bubba Page: And the dynamics of the home will change.
22:18
Bubba Page: It doesn't mean it's better or worse.
22:20
Bubba Page: It just means it will change.
22:21
Bubba Page: And so that harmony will change slightly.
22:23
Bubba Page: And uh what I've found is that obviously each child is born with their own personality.
22:29
Bubba Page: We could be raising them the exact same way.
22:32
Bubba Page: So true.
22:33
Bubba Page: And yet each individual child has their own person in them.
22:37
Bubba Page: And it's such a beautiful thing to see and to try and build what it is that is inside them.
22:43
Bubba Page: I want so desperately for them to find what they it is that they love.
22:48
Bubba Page: I want so, you know, there's some of the kids who have my son and daughter, for example, they really love tumbling.
22:54
Bubba Page: And uh, and so uh tumbling, and now my daughter's on the cheer team.
22:58
Bubba Page: She made a varsity cheer team as a freshman, which is wild.
23:01
Bubba Page: That's amazing.
23:02
Bubba Page: And so they've just been working so hard at something that they've been passionate about.
23:06
Bubba Page: My son made it to the national American team.
23:09
Bubba Page: He's going to China to represent the US in November in his tumbling.
23:14
Bubba Page: And as the other kids are growing, I just want them to find what they're passionate about.
23:19
Bubba Page: Um, because I think it's important for them to grasp onto something that means something to them.
23:26
Bubba Page: And it doesn't mean they have to be the best athlete, it doesn't mean they have to be the best musician.
23:30
Bubba Page: Whether they're going to the Olympics or not, I don't care.
23:33
Bubba Page: I just want them to find something that they love, that they can work hard at something because there's the lessons learned of working hard, of being coached, of being either on a team or an individual sport and music, even learning those unique skills.
23:47
Bubba Page: It's like a new language.
23:48
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
23:49
Bubba Page: I pay these kids for every hundred days.
23:52
Bubba Page: Oh, I should show the picture, Davy.
23:54
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
23:54
Bubba Page: Um, every hundred days that they do on Duolingo as a streak.
23:58
Bubba Page: Okay.
23:58
Bubba Page: I pay them $50.
24:00
Bubba Page: And so I literally took this morning.
24:03
Bubba Page: Here she is.
24:04
Bubba Page: You're probably not gonna be able to see this.
24:06
Bubba Page: 200 day streaks.
24:08
Bubba Page: Woo-hoo! That's amazing.
24:10
Bubba Page: So she's gonna get 50 bucks today in cash because she has been doing Spanish on Duolingo.
24:15
Bubba Page: So so these are just these life skills that I'm hoping to instill.
24:20
Bubba Page: It's hard work.
24:22
Bubba Page: I know they don't want to always go to practice.
24:24
Bubba Page: I know they don't always want to do Duolingo or whatever it is.
24:27
Bubba Page: Um, but it's it's even doing something when you don't want to sometimes that can really help you to achieve more grit.
24:36
Bubba Page: Yeah.
24:37
Bubba Page: There was a book that I read called Grit.
24:39
Bubba Page: Um, and I think it's a phenomenal baseline for parents to help teach kids.
24:45
Bubba Page: We work outside, we work in the garage, they help me wash the cars.
24:49
Bubba Page: Like, you know, do we have uh people who come and help us in our home as a single dad with eight kids?
24:56
Bubba Page: Absolutely.
24:57
Bubba Page: I have cleaning people come every other week.
24:59
Bubba Page: Okay, I'm a single woman with no kids and I have a cleaning person that comes every week.
25:03
Bubba Page: Worth it, worth every penny.
25:05
Bubba Page: But but there's elements of Saturday is working day, right?
25:09
Bubba Page: They just know it.
25:10
Bubba Page: Saturday's working day, yes, we're gonna have fun, but Saturday is working day because we are going to work for two hours doing some kind of project.
25:17
Bubba Page: Yeah.
25:18
Bubba Page: And uh because they need to know the value of that work.
25:21
Bubba Page: And to me, it's the same thing about instilling in them the practice with music or with language or with sports.
25:26
Bubba Page: And, you know, I bring this type of stuff up because you know, was there that intention prior to divorce?
25:32
Bubba Page: Yes.
25:32
Bubba Page: But now that I only have them 50% of the time, uh, it makes my mind think a lot more intentionally.
25:40
Bubba Page: And I hate to say that because it's embarrassing to even admit that I've had to even become more intentional because I know and now I only have half that time.
25:49
Bubba Page: So, you know, my son, for example, 16 years old at 18, he'll most likely be out of the out of the home.
25:54
Bubba Page: We're not kicking him out, but that's just kind of the likely process.
25:59
Bubba Page: I look at that next two years, and technically I have one year, you know, every other week, kind of a thing.
26:06
Bubba Page: And when I think about that with each one of my children, I mean, obviously it breaks my heart.
26:11
Bubba Page: Um you you never sign up for something that uh uh you know, being a father that you'll only be able to do half your time.
26:17
Bubba Page: That's just not something I ever uh desired.
26:21
Bubba Page: Um, because I'm a full-time dad.
26:23
Bubba Page: That's that is my ultimate priority in goal in life.
26:26
Bubba Page: Sorry.
26:28
Bubba Page: Um still something that hurts, right?
26:31
Bubba Page: Um I just think that the gift of fatherhood and motherhood is just such a blessing that God give gives us.
26:40
Bubba Page: Um, and for for those of us who've had an opportunity to to do that in this life, I believe that those who haven't in this life will absolutely have a chance in the next life too.
26:49
Bubba Page: Um but I just love it.
26:52
Bubba Page: I absolutely love it.
26:53
Bubba Page: And it's something that even though it's crazy and it's chaotic and it's hard sometimes, and it stretches, you know, my patience to its maximum sometimes.
27:03
Bubba Page: Um, I wouldn't give it up for anything.
27:05
Bubba Page: Yeah.
27:05
Bubba Page: Um anyway, so yes, uh, it's almost been two years officially um since the divorce has taken place.
27:12
Bubba Page: And um life has absolutely changed.
27:15
Bubba Page: There's no doubt about it.
27:16
Bubba Page: Uh, rebuilding after something like a divorce, which I would never wish upon anyone to have to go through.
27:23
Bubba Page: Um there's something that I can be grateful for if I look at the brights, if I can if I can see the glass half full in such a negative situation, the glass half full is what God has shown me about myself and the deeper learning of my own need for healing.
27:42
Bubba Page: Um and and as I've had to dive deeper into processing feelings and emotions and and trying to become the better father, uh, to become the better, you know, friend, or to become the better son, even for my with my parents.
27:58
Bubba Page: Um it's been an eye-opening experience that I don't know if I would have taken as deep of a dive without having to have gone through a hellish experience, such as a divorce.
28:08
Bubba Page: And um, although we have uh a wonderful, amicable uh relationship, and we're able to uh go to games and sports and performances together, and and that has been, I'm so grateful that we've been able to work uh work that out with their with their mom.
28:24
Bubba Page: Um, because I hear the horror stories of other experiences, and and that has been a huge blessing, not just for for me, but for my own children.
28:34
Bubba Page: I think that uh, you know, speaking with them in the room, I hope they they recognize that both their mom and I love them so much that we're willing to do whatever it takes to have that relationship to where we can we can co-parent well.
28:47
Bubba Page: And although it's not perfect, it it does feel like that's been a massive blessing.
28:52
Bubba Page: And if there are people who have gone through this before, if I can just plead with you, plead with you, um for the kids' sake and for your own healing's sake, like whatever bitterness or anger, anger you may have deep inside you for for whatever reason that it happened, your goal is to come get over that.
29:10
Bubba Page: Your goal is to give it to God and to allow him to heal your heart.
29:14
Bubba Page: And these are things that can be overcome.
29:17
Bubba Page: And and it doesn't mean that maybe there won't be a scar left behind to remind you to maybe not repeat things of the past, but those things can be gone and a new heart can be given to you.
29:30
Bubba Page: And I have felt that.
29:31
Bubba Page: And that change of heart has been uh I mean, I'm just so grateful.
29:36
Bubba Page: It has been such a blessing to have that kind of change of heart.
29:39
Bubba Page: Anyway, I've been on a tangent, but um to be a father, to be a son, and I and maybe if I could take another minute, my parents last year decided to move here half the time.
29:52
Bubba Page: They've been outside of I've never lived in the same state as them as an adult.
29:57
Crista Cowan: Wow.
29:58
Bubba Page: Um, they've been in Arizona and they've been serving on missions and working and traveling.
30:03
Bubba Page: And last year they made the choice to come and be here in Utah with me um half the time.
30:10
Bubba Page: I'm trying to convince them to come fold.
30:12
Bubba Page: I'm trying, I'm working on it.
30:14
Crista Cowan: Hey, I just got my parents to move here.
30:15
Crista Cowan: Oh, I love it.
30:16
Crista Cowan: They just bought a house three blocks from me.
30:18
Crista Cowan: Oh my gosh.
30:18
Crista Cowan: They have also never lived in the same state with me as an adult.
30:22
Bubba Page: I am so grateful.
30:23
Bubba Page: I know some people may have different experiences with their parents.
30:27
Bubba Page: I absolutely am so grateful that they're here.
30:30
Bubba Page: Um, not just for their service, because that is a huge element that they're giving to me.
30:36
Bubba Page: And I know they know they're needed and wanted because single dad with eight is a lot, and we're trying to go in four places at once, it's a lot.
30:44
Bubba Page: Um, and they've been phenomenal at helping.
30:47
Bubba Page: But for them to get to know my children at the depth that they are now, it's different than their entire the rest of my children's lives.
30:56
Bubba Page: They they've never had them this close.
30:58
Bubba Page: And um, when I think about the ancestry, they're now influencing my children in a positive way that I didn't even know was possible because it was 20 years of not having them around, right?
31:12
Bubba Page: And and when you go and visit a grandparent, and and there's nothing wrong with grandparents, you're out of state, but here's the difference when you go and visit, you're on vacation mode.
31:21
Bubba Page: And so you get to see these grandchildren during vacation.
31:25
Bubba Page: When you live by them and you're there when they get home from after school, or you're at all the games or performances or school plays or whatever it is, you are going to see the children at their best and at their worst.
31:40
Bubba Page: And I think the element and showing them love as a grandparent when they're in whatever it is, their best or their worst, and in between, um that is so special.
31:52
Bubba Page: And I know my children, they feel the love from their nana and poppy.
31:57
Bubba Page: Um, and they know that there is, look at this, you know, healthy marital relationship as well.
32:04
Bubba Page: And they're, you know, it's 53 or four years now that they've that they've done this.
32:10
Bubba Page: And so, you know, for me, I believe in a covenantal marriage relationship.
32:15
Bubba Page: And one of my biggest worries, uh, concerns of going through a divorce is that they might think that I took that lightly, or that I didn't put that as the ultimate importance.
32:30
Bubba Page: And I I want them to know how deeply important a covenantal marriage relationship is, and that I made promises to not, you know, to my spouse, but also to my God that and those promises I call covenants, right?
32:46
Bubba Page: I covenanted with my God to obey and try and follow to the best of my abilities his commandments.
32:53
Bubba Page: I have not been perfect, but I feel like those covenants are what I strive to keep and to continue to keep.
32:59
Bubba Page: And I I want to make sure that my kids know how valuable and important those covenants are and that they should strive to have that similar covenantal relationship.
33:10
Bubba Page: I mean, you know, we were married in the in the temple, and I know that for some may watching, they may not understand the value and importance that it gave me of uh being sealed together and and making those covenants.
33:22
Bubba Page: And um I just I hope uh, as my children, maybe one day we'll watch this.
33:28
Bubba Page: I've got two here, and the rest of the six aren't here.
33:31
Bubba Page: Um, that they just can hear the testimony of my heart that when I make promises to God, I do everything in my power to keep them.
33:39
Bubba Page: And and I want them to know that importance.
33:43
Crista Cowan: Because those promises extend to them.
33:45
Bubba Page: They extend to them.
33:46
Bubba Page: Yeah.
33:46
Bubba Page: And we will be sealed in my belief and faith forever, for eternities.
33:53
Bubba Page: My children and I will be together forever, so long as I keep my covenants.
33:59
Bubba Page: And and so uh ultimate goals are to be able to have those covenants kept forever, and to be able to have my children be a part of me forever into the eternities, well beyond when I'm dead and gone.
34:12
Bubba Page: Um anyway, that's a little uh well.
34:15
Crista Cowan: Thank you.
34:16
Crista Cowan: Thank you for your testimony.
34:17
Crista Cowan: Not and and you're right, like a lot of this audience is not LDS, but I think the the value of covenants, the value of having faith, right?
34:29
Crista Cowan: Whatever it is you believe in, believe in it and make sure that your children know you believe in it.
34:33
Crista Cowan: Um and this concept of having your parents around, I think I love that they are developing those relationships with your kids.
34:40
Crista Cowan: I love that that they're getting to see them at their best and their worst.
34:43
Crista Cowan: There's there is something really powerful about that.
34:46
Crista Cowan: I spent the first 13 years living near my grandparents, and then the rest of my life, like it was vacation mode, either me going to see them or them coming to see me.
34:54
Crista Cowan: And it changed the nature of our relationship.
34:56
Crista Cowan: But by the time I was an adult, my grandmother lived uh to be 96 and she lived in LA in the same house my dad grew up in.
35:04
Crista Cowan: My, you know, and literally I would drive down every other month and spend like I would leave after work on Friday, drive all night, show up at her door at like two in the morning and spend the weekend with her, drive home all night, Sunday night, so I could be home for work on Monday.
35:17
Crista Cowan: But like those moments to spend with her well into my 30s and 40s, like so important to me.
35:24
Crista Cowan: Um, so those grandparent relationships, like they matter.
35:28
Bubba Page: Totally.
35:28
Crista Cowan: And and so to have them make that choice to be closer to your kids and closer to you, I think that's just such a, I mean, maybe a little bit of a sacrifice, but so many blessings.
35:39
Bubba Page: They are sacrificing so much.
35:42
Bubba Page: I mean, think about it.
35:43
Bubba Page: They're in a retired life.
35:44
Bubba Page: They can do whatever they want, whenever they want, go wherever they want.
35:48
Bubba Page: And yet they're coming and being home after school with the kids.
35:52
Bubba Page: And we got my gr my dad sitting here with, you know, one or two of the kids helping with homework, my mom sitting here with one or two of the kids doing homework while I'm trying to, you know, work out snacks and stuff with our nanny and get making sure that work's being done.
36:05
Bubba Page: It has been such a fun dynamic to have them in our lives.
36:10
Bubba Page: And and they won't be around forever.
36:12
Bubba Page: And that's sad to even say out loud.
36:14
Bubba Page: I think we'll have them here for a long time still, but but someday they won't be here.
36:19
Bubba Page: And I want the relationship with my children and them to have been so uh thoughtfully, you know, curated because of that experience together.
36:28
Bubba Page: The relationship was so deep that when my kids are saying, you know, their prayers to Heavenly Father at night, that they may feel their Nana and Poppy come and be with them.
36:39
Bubba Page: Or when they're going through the hard times, that they may envision that they're there supporting them because they watched them do it while they were here.
36:47
Bubba Page: And so when they're on the other side of the veil, that they're still going to be there supporting.
36:52
Bubba Page: And um those are just the types of relationships.
36:56
Bubba Page: I just hope everyone, and I know not everyone can have that.
37:00
Bubba Page: Um do you want to know a shocking status?
37:02
Crista Cowan: Do you want to know a shocking statistic?
37:03
Crista Cowan: Please, please.
37:04
Crista Cowan: 53% of Americans cannot even name all four of their grandparents.
37:08
Crista Cowan: Oh no.
37:09
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
37:10
Crista Cowan: Like, and that breaks my heart because, and not just because and not because I had a perfect relationship with my grandparents.
37:16
Crista Cowan: My dad's parents, I was super close to.
37:18
Crista Cowan: They sacrificed a lot, they spent a lot of time with me.
37:20
Crista Cowan: My mom's mom was very withdrawn.
37:24
Crista Cowan: Um, she was a young widow and raised my mom and her sisters, you know, through the rest of their teenage years alone.
37:29
Crista Cowan: And um, she had, you know, she had some hard things happen in her life that just made her an emotionally distant person.
37:36
Crista Cowan: Um, she was like, I could show up on her doorstep and she would welcome me in, but I think I can count on one hand the number of times she told me she loved me.
37:45
Crista Cowan: Um and and yet, and so like everybody's relationships are different, right?
37:50
Crista Cowan: Like I had a guest um who her pair of grandparents got divorced when her mom was young, and she literally like met her grandpa just a few times and knew nothing about him.
38:00
Crista Cowan: Like, so everybody's family dynamics are different.
38:03
Crista Cowan: And so I I just like I'm just so impressed with what your parents have done because they made an intentional, conscious choice and continue to make that choice, and you also allowed them in.
38:16
Crista Cowan: Which that has to go both ways.
38:18
Crista Cowan: So I just think that's so beautiful.
38:20
Crista Cowan: And you think about the ways that that will ripple through generations, right?
38:23
Crista Cowan: Like you told the story earlier of your great-grandfather straightening nails and using reclaimed one to build a church, right?
38:30
Crista Cowan: Like, and you're teaching your kids how to work.
38:32
Crista Cowan: And I think, you know, back then they had to work.
38:36
Crista Cowan: Now we have to make intentional choices to work.
38:39
Crista Cowan: Back then, people lived in community and those relationships for good or bad just kind of existed.
38:44
Crista Cowan: Now people make intentional choices to be in relationships with each other.
38:47
Crista Cowan: So we live in a really different world, but I think that there's still such a great opportunity to build those relationships, to build that character and to continue to affect generations positively.
38:59
Bubba Page: I hope too that if you're listening to this right now, you know, think about the last time you said I love you to your family.
39:05
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
39:05
Bubba Page: Say to your grandchildren, to your spouse, to your own kids.
39:09
Bubba Page: When was the last time?
39:10
Bubba Page: And if it wasn't in the last 24 to 48 hours, call them up right now or go give them a hug, look them in the eye and say, I love you.
39:19
Bubba Page: Because you just never know when you won't have a chance to do that.
39:22
Bubba Page: And uh, you know, there's a woman I, you know, I am divorced, so I have been in the dating world.
39:27
Crista Cowan: Good luck with that.
39:28
Crista Cowan: I've been in the dating world a very long time.
39:32
Bubba Page: We could do a whole other podcast on that, right?
39:35
Bubba Page: So, you know, I was just talking to her about her family, and she mentioned that uh, you know, saying I love you is not part of the their dad's dynamic, right?
39:45
Bubba Page: Um, and and it made me sad because you know, my dad, uh super hard worker and was gone a lot from work, but I always knew he loved me.
39:56
Bubba Page: He would say he loved me, I would get hugs.
39:58
Bubba Page: It wasn't there wasn't that distance, you know.
40:02
Bubba Page: And and I so I felt that, which is one of the reasons I still have a close relationship with my parents, I think, is because they were loving and caring.
40:10
Bubba Page: And and although my mom and I spent more time together, I was the youngest child, so I was alone with just my mom most of the time while my dad was working.
40:17
Bubba Page: Um, we became really, really close.
40:19
Bubba Page: I would go to the grocery store with her, and it was just fun because we could go and I got to pick the music and she would buy me a treat or whatever it was, right?
40:26
Bubba Page: Um, but but the elements of saying I love you and hugs, hugging, you know, this woman who I was at a date with, she said um she kind of had to force when she sees her siblings to say, like prompt them and say, I'm going to hug you now because I haven't seen you in so long.
40:46
Bubba Page: And they'd be kind of awkwardly like side hug.
40:48
Bubba Page: And I'm like, oh, that's so sad.
40:50
Bubba Page: Like, come on, we're family.
40:52
Bubba Page: And I know some people feel uncomfortable.
40:55
Bubba Page: But anyway, the more love that we can express in the best way we can, uh, it it will ripple.
41:01
Bubba Page: And I think I hope my kids know.
41:04
Bubba Page: I hug every yeah, I try to hug everybody, you know.
41:06
Bubba Page: It's one of those that I want them to know that showing and expressing love and affection is inappropriate ways, is a positive experience.
41:15
Bubba Page: And I tell them I love them.
41:18
Bubba Page: Uh, and as a father, there's a book.
41:20
Bubba Page: Um, Meg Meeker, I believe, is is the author.
41:23
Bubba Page: It's called Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters.
41:27
Bubba Page: Highly, highly recommend this book.
41:30
Bubba Page: Um, if you're a spouse reading this, buy it for your husband.
41:34
Bubba Page: Um what it's so valuable.
41:38
Bubba Page: Strong fathers, though, some of the core principles that she talks about is that we as, and this this can go from mothers to but the more healing we can do as adults, then the the better we will be able to respond and handle maybe the emotional, uh uh tumultuous times that our children have.
41:59
Bubba Page: Yeah.
42:00
Bubba Page: If our child comes to us and they're flustered or angry or upset, and then we react to that same with that same level of energy, will they ever come back and respond to us?
42:11
Bubba Page: Maybe, maybe not.
42:12
Bubba Page: But probably not.
42:13
Bubba Page: So, how do we stay grounded and healed, heal our own selves so that, you know, we're not getting defensive and we're not taking things personally, even if it feels like an attack, especially as a parent, how can we look at our children and accept what they're going through for what it is and be there as this grounded individual that can allow their emotion and make it a safe place for them to share that emotion.
42:38
Bubba Page: And although I'm not perfect at staying grounded every time, I have been able to have a unique perspective.
42:44
Bubba Page: And I hope this strong father, strong daughters, if I can create a safe environment for my daughters or sons or spouse, you know, whatever, to share, then then that connection can be that much deeper.
42:59
Bubba Page: So that vulnerability will be safe.
43:02
Bubba Page: And the deeper the vulnerability, the deeper the connection, in my view.
43:06
Bubba Page: Um and I'm, you know, as I prepare for a future relationship, not that I'm in any rush or hurry for that, um, I am trying to become the best version of myself so that I can attract somebody who's also been working so hard on their best version of themselves.
43:25
Bubba Page: And we can come together as uh hopefully more secure individuals.
43:30
Bubba Page: And maybe we've been able to overcome some of the insecurities, whether it's more anxiously uh avoidant or uh avoidant kind of personality types or characteristics.
43:41
Bubba Page: Those are just some uh of the holistic purposes I'm trying to bring into my own home.
43:46
Bubba Page: And if I can teach my children along the way, um maybe they can make those choices and a little bit uh with a little bit more conviction uh that they know what they need.
43:57
Crista Cowan: Anyway, yeah, I love this because because of my Job as a genealogist.
44:01
Crista Cowan: I tend to think in such long-term patterns, right?
44:05
Crista Cowan: Like generations and how those ripple effects occur.
44:09
Crista Cowan: And to hear you talk about being so intentional.
44:12
Crista Cowan: I don't think our grandfathers had the luxury of being that intentional.
44:16
Crista Cowan: Certainly not our great-grandfathers, right?
44:19
Crista Cowan: You know, World War I, the depression, like they were dealing with survival in so many ways.
44:25
Crista Cowan: And we live in such a time where we can be intentional about how we show up as parents, how we show up as family members in whatever role that looks like.
44:34
Crista Cowan: And really think about what that means for the next generation.
44:37
Crista Cowan: And I think that's a luxury that we've never had before.
44:40
Crista Cowan: And so it's really interesting to me that we live in a time when family dynamics are getting so fractured.
44:47
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
44:47
Crista Cowan: Families are becoming so much more disconnected because we have this luxury of being intentional about the connection.
44:53
Crista Cowan: And yet we're fighting against other, you know, we're not fighting for survival.
44:58
Crista Cowan: We're not fighting with PTSD from a war.
45:00
Crista Cowan: We're fighting against a lot of other things.
45:03
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
45:04
Bubba Page: This.
45:04
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
45:05
Crista Cowan: Yeah.
45:06
Bubba Page: You know, I mean, look, I'm on social media.
45:09
Bubba Page: And so yes, I I utilize social media hopefully to bring light and goodness out there in the world.
45:15
Bubba Page: But talk about distraction.
45:17
Bubba Page: And I'm I look, I'm on it professionally.
45:20
Bubba Page: And yet I'll post something.
45:21
Bubba Page: So I'll work on something that I feel like I've been compelled to share at something I feel like God's telling me I should share with my audience.
45:28
Bubba Page: And then I hit the post button, I feel good, like, all right, hopefully that helps somebody out there.
45:33
Bubba Page: And then the distraction is there.
45:36
Bubba Page: And the temptation to scroll.
45:38
Bubba Page: And you know, I so I have these alarms on my phone that tell me, like, hey, you've you've spent X amount of time on this, make sure to turn it off and go do something else.
45:47
Bubba Page: Because even me who does this professionally can still get caught up with the temptation to just scroll.
45:53
Bubba Page: Yeah.
45:53
Bubba Page: I've had an opportunity to coach and mentor a lot of people over the last decade.
45:58
Bubba Page: And it's specifically over the last year, um, I've been doing it more professionally.
46:03
Bubba Page: And what's been fascinating is most people come to me for business help or as an investor, they want me to help them understand what investors need and and to raise capital.
46:14
Bubba Page: And almost everyone that I've worked with, they'll come to me for business.
46:19
Bubba Page: And within the second or third call, we're always talking about personal issues, whether it's uh, you know, their phone time, whether it's their relationship, whether it's their dynamics at home with their children.
46:31
Bubba Page: And I'm the first to say I'm not a therapist, but but I have lived a life that I feel like I can share.
46:37
Bubba Page: And I've built frameworks that when you have to raise eight children, you have to have, you know, structure in place, or it's way too chaotic.
46:46
Bubba Page: And so, you know, building systems and frameworks and processes to help structure your own life, make sure your tasks are getting uh taken out of here and putting into a system, making sure they're getting accomplished.
47:00
Bubba Page: So what's been fascinating is I've been working on this project.
47:03
Bubba Page: We talked about it just before the cameras started rolling.
47:05
Bubba Page: JoinBecoming.com.
47:07
Bubba Page: By the time this airs, I hope it's live.
47:09
Bubba Page: Joinbecoming.com is essentially what I felt like I've been mentoring and coaching people for the last decade in an application, in an app that they can download on their phone or their device.
47:20
Bubba Page: The hope is that this planning that we're talking about, this intentionality that we're talking about, the the ability to have reminders, hey, and prompts.
47:30
Bubba Page: Hey, you had these things on your to-do list and you prioritize them, and we help them to do that through AI, you put them on your calendar, did you accomplish that task?
47:38
Bubba Page: And if you did, it'll update the system for you.
47:41
Bubba Page: Did you take your spouse on a date?
47:43
Bubba Page: If not, let me help you plan that.
47:45
Bubba Page: And there'll be AI support to help you plan that.
47:48
Bubba Page: Did you get to sleep on time, right?
47:50
Bubba Page: It can, you know, at a future time, syncing with your devices to know if you got the right sleep.
47:55
Bubba Page: Because if you're not sleeping and if you're not getting exercise, if you're not eating right, you might not be the best version of yourself to your family or to your spouse or to your employees if you're in a business owner.
48:05
Bubba Page: And so what I found is that the best entrepreneurs and business owners who are living the healthiest lives at home perform the best in business.
48:14
Bubba Page: So even though they came to me for business help or for investor help, we end up working a lot of their life frameworks.
48:22
Bubba Page: And as they nail down these life frameworks, then their business starts to thrive.
48:27
Bubba Page: And uh again, this is something I have felt compelled to do.
48:32
Bubba Page: I talked about fatherhood a lot and and uh you know the the family dynamics, it's built in.
48:38
Bubba Page: There's another piece I've got to share.
48:40
Bubba Page: I've wanted to, for the longest time, send out a message to my audience twice a week that was a prompt for them to talk about with their kids, a life lesson.
48:51
Bubba Page: You know, my son, as we talked about, is 16 years old leaving in two years.
48:55
Bubba Page: Every parent wonders if their child is ready for the real world by the time they leave.
49:00
Bubba Page: And the answer is we don't know.
49:02
Bubba Page: Because we don't know exactly all the things we taught them over their first 18 years of their life.
49:07
Bubba Page: I've I've developed at this in this application, join becoming, a prompt every is twice a week that tells the parent what type of either conversation or questions they could ask their child or a life lesson that they could teach them.
49:23
Bubba Page: So that every week, two times a week, over 52 times a year, over a hundred life lessons or or core questions can they have with an age appropriate, yeah, age appropriate for their children.
49:36
Bubba Page: So by the time their child leaves the house, hopefully, they've now had hundreds of intentional life lessons or question discussions with their children and they can feel comfortable.
49:48
Bubba Page: Did they talk about compound interest with their 14, 15-year-old?
49:51
Bubba Page: Did they talk about the the the perils of pornography with their eight or nine-year-old?
49:56
Bubba Page: Did they talk about the the relationships of healing your heart and becoming a whole person beyond the process of becoming a whole person when you meet someone?
50:06
Bubba Page: I obviously I'm on a soapbox because I'm so passionate.
50:09
Bubba Page: And I feel like in this ancestral discussion, if I'm not teaching my children these principles, who will?
50:15
Bubba Page: Yeah.
50:15
Bubba Page: Are they gonna get it from online?
50:17
Bubba Page: Watching YouTube Shorts, you know, scrolling in Doom, you know, on TikTok?
50:21
Bubba Page: It's my job, it's my duty as a parent.
50:25
Bubba Page: Like these are principles that I hope I can help with join becoming.
50:30
Bubba Page: And the goal is that we can become what God truly meant us to be.
50:35
Bubba Page: Can we become the best parent?
50:37
Bubba Page: Can we become the best entrepreneur?
50:39
Bubba Page: Can we become the best investor or spouse?
50:42
Bubba Page: Um, and uh, you know, talk about a plug.
50:45
Bubba Page: I'm sorry.
50:45
Bubba Page: You're good.
50:46
Bubba Page: I just feel like I'm building this out of passion for trying to help people.
50:52
Bubba Page: Is it going to be the absolute best business I could have put my time and energy into?
50:57
Bubba Page: Maybe not.
50:58
Bubba Page: Hopefully, this can be a generational tool um to give parents what they need to teach their kids, and then everybody can becoming what they need to be.
51:08
Crista Cowan: I love that.
51:09
Crista Cowan: I love this because so much of this podcast is about looking back, but I love that you're looking forward and that you're really, again, trying to be intentional, but also I think what I'm hearing is that you have a much longer view than just your kids or your grandkids.
51:24
Crista Cowan: Yeah, right.
51:25
Crista Cowan: Legacy.
51:26
Crista Cowan: And so that concept really that resonates with me is you know, we're the we're the new ancestors, right?
51:32
Crista Cowan: Like, and the way that the choices of those who came before us affected us.
51:37
Crista Cowan: Our choices right now are affecting a hundred percent.
51:40
Crista Cowan: And so, so love that you're building this tool.
51:43
Crista Cowan: Um, I I actually I haven't made this announcement publicly yet, but maybe I will have five attend the podcast comes out.
51:49
Crista Cowan: Um, so I have a book publishing deal.
51:51
Crista Cowan: Oh my god.
51:52
Crista Cowan: So I have a book coming out next summer.
51:53
Crista Cowan: That's a big deal.
51:54
Crista Cowan: It is a huge deal.
51:55
Crista Cowan: Congratulations.
51:56
Crista Cowan: Thank you.
51:56
Crista Cowan: Um, and it's called The Deeply Connected Family.
51:59
Crista Cowan: And the whole concept of the book is kind of along your 52 weeks, two questions a week thing.
52:04
Crista Cowan: Like, it's what stories are we intentionally crafting from our own lives and from the lives of our ancestors that teach principles or life lessons or help craft a family narrative that says this is who we are.
52:17
Crista Cowan: This is who we are as a family, this is who we are as a father and a daughter, this is this is what our relationships look like, this is what our faith looks like, um, because it is so needed right now.
52:27
Crista Cowan: So I love that you're coming at this from a technology angle and and and and putting it into practice in your life and and maybe stumbling along the way and trying to figure it out still.
52:38
Bubba Page: Oh, yeah.
52:38
Bubba Page: But if you need a testimonial on the back of that book, I will be happy to write it.
52:42
Bubba Page: I may take you up.
52:43
Bubba Page: Because honestly, uh what you're what you're writing is so incredibly valuable.
52:48
Bubba Page: I can't wait to read it.
52:49
Bubba Page: That's exciting.
52:49
Bubba Page: It is exciting.
52:50
Bubba Page: Count me in.
52:51
Bubba Page: I will, wherever it is, I'll write that testimonial for it.
52:54
Crista Cowan: I'll take you up on it.
52:54
Crista Cowan: Well, thank you.
52:55
Crista Cowan: Thank you for joining us.
52:56
Crista Cowan: Thank you for sharing your your grimpachural.
52:59
Crista Cowan: Um, and just the legacy of of music and harmony and moving forward in the world with healing and and connection.
53:08
Crista Cowan: I think that's just such a beautiful thing.
53:10
Crista Cowan: Um, before we go.
53:11
Crista Cowan: Yes.
53:12
Crista Cowan: Okay.
53:12
Crista Cowan: So we have a new segment this season called One Word, One Story.
53:15
Crista Cowan: Oh, wow.
53:16
Crista Cowan: So we have the story drawer here.
53:17
Bubba Page: Oh my gosh.
53:18
Crista Cowan: And I'm gonna open the story drawer to pull out a word, and uh, you're just gonna tell me what the first story is that pops in your head when I pull out the word.
53:24
Crista Cowan: You ready for this?
53:25
Bubba Page: All right, hi.
53:26
Bubba Page: I'm gonna get mentally prepared.
53:32
Crista Cowan: Oh, our word today.
53:33
Crista Cowan: This is funny considering our conversation, is dance.
53:38
Bubba Page: All right, all right.
53:39
Bubba Page: So I shared the story of my grandma, so I better move beyond that one because we got that one.
53:43
Bubba Page: Okay, so my daughter, I'm gonna go to my daughter and my daughter and I, um, she came to me and said, as she had a video from online, she said, I really want to learn this trick.
53:54
Bubba Page: And she showed her to me, and it was advanced.
53:57
Bubba Page: Like we're talking professional level, like swinging her body like a helicopter around my body.
54:04
Bubba Page: It is one of the best memories that I have because as we're feeling and you know, going over and over and trying to make this work, I just, you know, one, it was this bonding time.
54:16
Bubba Page: It was just she and I.
54:17
Bubba Page: We're listening to this music in the background and we're trying to figure out how to do this trick.
54:22
Bubba Page: And, you know, I've put on my calendar now a reminder for me to dance with these girls more often than than we traditionally do.
54:32
Bubba Page: And uh, and although it doesn't happen as frequently as I would like, the experience of she and I trying to learn this swing dancing.
54:38
Bubba Page: Fathers, if you're listening, please swing dance with your daughter.
54:42
Bubba Page: And anyway, so that was the immediate thought.
54:44
Bubba Page: Love that is she and so it's on it's on my Bubba Page Instagram.
54:49
Bubba Page: If you scroll back far enough, you can see she and I accomplished this hard task.
54:53
Crista Cowan: I love that.
54:54
Bubba Page: And uh and have such a fun time doing it.
54:56
Bubba Page: So fun.
54:57
Crista Cowan: Okay, here's my story.
54:58
Crista Cowan: Oh, um, the first thing that came to mind, this is embarrassing now, now that I'm thinking about this out loud.
55:04
Crista Cowan: Uh, so I was an oldest child, and I was not an easy child.
55:10
Crista Cowan: Oh, all right.
55:11
Crista Cowan: Yeah, yeah.
55:12
Crista Cowan: Um strong-willed.
55:13
Crista Cowan: Very strong-willed.
55:14
Crista Cowan: Thought I knew better.
55:15
Crista Cowan: And part of it had to do with actually the way that so my mom um had a lot of hard times with her pregnancies.
55:21
Crista Cowan: Um, we ended up having four children.
55:23
Crista Cowan: So there's a set of twins that are about three years younger than me.
55:26
Crista Cowan: And then about five years after that, a two brothers that came about 18 months apart.
55:30
Crista Cowan: Um, but in between all of that, my mother suffered nine miscarriages and she spent a ton of time on bed rest with her pregnancies.
55:38
Crista Cowan: And um, and so I was given a lot of responsibility from a really young age.
55:41
Crista Cowan: Um, and so by the time I was a young teenager, I felt like I was an adult and did not make it easy on my parents to parent me.
55:51
Crista Cowan: And so uh they had this rule that we could not go to school dances until we were 14.
55:56
Crista Cowan: And I decided that I did not agree with that rule.
56:00
Crista Cowan: And so I snuck out of the house and I went to a school dance.
56:06
Bubba Page: Oh my god.
56:07
Crista Cowan: And somehow my parents knew.
56:09
Bubba Page: Oh, I bet.
56:10
Crista Cowan: And I'm I was dancing with some cute boy, and my parents walked into that school dance and with one on each side of me, escorted me out of the school dance.
56:21
Bubba Page: Oh my god.
56:22
Crista Cowan: And at the time, right, mortified.
56:24
Crista Cowan: Of course.
56:25
Crista Cowan: Talk of the school for the you know the next week, right?
56:28
Crista Cowan: Um, but in retrospect, with adult eyes, um, and having healed a lot of my relationship with my parents, um, like I get it.
56:39
Crista Cowan: Like I get out of love.
56:40
Crista Cowan: They not just love, but also a little bit of fear too, probably.
56:44
Crista Cowan: Like they, um, you know, I grew up outside of Utah.
56:47
Crista Cowan: I grew up in a school district where there was a lot of drinking and drugs and like a lot of promiscuity, and like and they just knew that I was too young to be in that environment because I was not emotionally mature enough yet to handle it, and to be able to stand up for myself and say no.
57:01
Crista Cowan: And, you know, and I I so desperately wanted to be liked.
57:04
Crista Cowan: And I mean, like again, like in the moment.
57:07
Bubba Page: Oh, mortified.
57:08
Bubba Page: Mortified.
57:08
Bubba Page: Of course.
57:09
Crista Cowan: Um, but as an adult, so grateful that they just showed up and took care of me and protected me when I needed to be protected.
57:17
Crista Cowan: So, yes, whenever the the word dance.
57:19
Bubba Page: I love that your parents loved you enough to embarrass you in front of all of your friends.
57:24
Crista Cowan: The whole school.
57:25
Crista Cowan: Okay.
57:25
Crista Cowan: Well, if you are playing along from home, one word, one story, leave in the comments, let me know what is your story that came to mind as soon as you heard the word dance.
57:36
Crista Cowan: Well, Baba, thank you.
57:40
Crista Cowan: Oh, thanks for having me.
57:41
Crista Cowan: It's good to get to know you.
57:42
Crista Cowan: Um, I'm excited to see how your business venture goes and to support you in that in any way I can.
57:48
Crista Cowan: Let's go.
57:48
Crista Cowan: Thank you.
57:49
Crista Cowan: You're you're so welcome.
57:51
Crista Cowan: Studio sponsored by Ancestry.