Latest / Healthy Happy Wise Wealthy / Know Your Core Values and Own the Heck Out of Them with Joey Chandler
Transcript
- [Mary Meyer] Welcome back to Healthy, Happy, Wise, Wealthy. I have with us today a friend of mine, Joey Chandler, the core values guy. So CertainGrowth.com, life coach, business coach with the whole thing that you do is about establishing your core values. And Joey, I had someone on last week who helps get kids into college, college paid for. And Shellee Howard, and she was talking about you have to make sure your kids know your core values. And I'm like, could we talk about that a little bit? Because to me, core values mean something like be a good human, be ethical, be kind, that kind of thing. But when we're talking about it, and yes, everyone do that. Everyone be a good person. But when we're talking about it in this realm, it's something completely different. And just to introduce you a little bit more, I have heard you speak twice now in Reno. And so Reno Startup Week, you spoke. And that session was all about helping us get to get our three core value words together. And it doesn't have to do with morality, be a moral person, it has to do with what drives you. [Joey Chandler] Yeah, it's what shows us the way I describe our core values is like who we are when we operate at our best. Not like what we should be or who we ought to be, but like when you're just being your very best, you know, what are those things? How can we describe that? And it's an energy. And the great thing about your your guess is 100 percent right, certainly by high school and definitely by the time a young person is ready to go to college, their core values, they know them and they just need somebody to help identify them. And if they could practice living true to their core values, you know, starting in high school, that would save a lot. It would save a lot of effort and a lot of angst about, you know, who am I and what am I going to do and all that stuff? Can you imagine if you spent your 20s going, OK, my values are this. Now, how can I make better use of them? I would have had a different 20s for sure. [Mary Meyer] Oh, for sure. And she actually says to start in middle school. So like as a parent, when you're parenting, help your kids just figure out what is their driving motivators. And we're going to talk about it more because we're both a little bit past middle school age, just a little bit. So just a touch. So for those of us who, you know, like we're still going, what does this mean? And it would help. And the session that you ran was really great. But can we start with you get with you just telling your story? Because that was a really good story about what led you to this. [Joey Chandler] Yeah, thanks. It's it is a story of a journey and just really trying to figure things out for myself. I burnt out really bad in 2022. I was I had a coaching business. I was actually running it, but I was going I went to a divorce. I was living alone. It was post covid. My business was struggling like there just was a lot of stuff going on. And I woke up one day in early 2022 and I just said, I'm done. I can't be anything but me. It's just too exhausting. And when you burn out, you know, for everyone has burnt out, you know that there's a there's just a level of exhaustion that's far different than just being tired that day. And I was just done. And I went back to bed. And then a couple of days later, I got up and I said, OK, well, if I if I can only be me, then who am I? And how can I be more of that? And I had an awareness around core values from coaching and and just being a part of that, you know, because they've been part of our business vocabulary for 20 or 30 years now. But I didn't have a really good sense of using them. And I had the awareness that if I use my core values, I wasn't going to burn out. I could just be me. And I ended up reducing my core values down to three as a connection, curiosity and fun. And from that day, I could start asking myself, how can I bring some more connection, curiosity and fun to my day? And honestly, at the very beginning, it was I get up to the bathroom, I get a drink of water and go back to bed because that's all I could do. That was that was it. That was as much energy as I could have. But there was something about asking myself those values that gave me energy and it was baby step, baby step, baby step. And eventually those baby steps became bigger. And within a couple of months, I had recovered from burnout without doing any yoga or meditation or journaling or any of the things that I would associate with burnout recovery. And it wasn't like I was against those things. I just didn't have the energy to do them. But I just kept focusing on how can I be more of myself? And and I recovered and it was amazing. And then I went to work. I'm a systems guy, like I like to figure out like how things work. And I looked at that experience I had at first, I was like, oh, it's the values. And so I talked to people about values, but it didn't work. There was something missing. And so then I went back and looked at it again and I realized the values were important, but it was the question of how can I use those values today that actually made a difference that kept me using them each and every day and having a deeper understanding of what they meant to me and to others. And so that I went to work and I developed over time, I developed a series of questions that help you leverage your core values so that you can achieve goals, get past your doubts and fears and just just operate at your best. But and what makes me the core values guy, why I can talk about it so much isn't so much I just know values, but I know how to apply them so that people can achieve goals. And you could be in a relationship. It could be in using AI, it could be growing your business. It can be for fitness. You can use your core values in all sorts of different ways. And that's why I think they're really powerful and really underutilized. [Mary Meyer] Yeah. And corporations can use this, too. So this also applies to business. Yes, it applies to business. Yeah. [Joey Chandler] And but I do focus mostly on personal core values. OK, because I think we all have far more experience with our personal core values than any corporate core value. And so the more that we can use our personal ones, we can be will have a greater ability to be successful in whatever job we have. [Mary Meyer] Sure. Can you list some of what the core values are? Just to give people an idea about what we're talking about? [Joey Chandler] Yeah, so minor connection curiosity and fun. Let's see here, I client I was just working with his is growth contribution and fun. Another person is purpose, pleasure and passion. Another someone else was oh, adventure, family and growth was another person I just worked with. So it's words like this. And there are simple words, words that you would imagine using when you were a young person because our core values have been with us for a long time and the energy of our core values, how we what we would feel. We would have first felt that as a young person, so we would have described it in language that we would have used when we were young. And that's why when when people use words like authenticity, integrity and those I'm usually a little bit skeptical because those those tend to be more intellectual and we want our values to live in our heart and our gut. Not not so much in our mind. [Mary Meyer] Yeah. I think mine, because I just and you have in your in your thing right there, you can go to you can figure out your core values and do this, do the assessment and you have it for free, right? Yeah, just kind of get you started thinking about this certain growth dot com backslash confidence. So I I get great wisdom every week from people. And then I forget to use it. And as an example, before we started the podcast, Joey said, hey, can we just take a minute to breathe, which is what you did before your session, too. And the amount of times people have talked about, are you tapping into your breath to just make sure you're in tune, doing OK? And do I do it? I mean, you know, and you just did it. So so much so much of this, I think, is less what we know and more what we apply from what we know. Oh, it's 100. [Joey Chandler] It's not even a little bit. It's 100 percent that. And I'll actually just speak to that. They're one of the things I've learned about core values. And I didn't know this when I got started. And I've only seen is that core values are in large part a somatic experience. When you are operating from your values, your body feels a certain way as opposed to when you're operating from your doubts or fears or worries. And I know like when we were getting on, you know, I was I was rushing from something I had, you know, I was sending all this stuff. And I often know that when I get on a Zoom call, there's a good chance that I'm a little bit scattered and that people other people are scattered. And so I I recommend, you know, we do a one minute breathing exercise. You just close your eyes and breathe. Nothing fancy. But I do that because my body feels off. It's not like I remember it as like a tactic, but I just notice in my body. I'm like, oh, wait a minute. I haven't done the breath work. Let me let me do that. And it's really interesting because the more that you can understand how your values feel in your body, like when you're operating from your values, it's a trigger to say, hey, wait, how can I get back to my values? Because when you're not, because it's so easy, you know, to be stuck in doubt or fear or worry or I suck or they suck or I'm not good enough. You know, whatever those are for you, right? You can notice it and then take a breath and get back to your values. And it's really helpful. [Mary Meyer] Yeah, just and just to point out to everyone, everyone has fears and doubts. So like that that those things in your head that just keep talking to you and saying this stuff like you're not going to make it. This isn't going to work. You're not lovable. You're not worthy. Those two things, I think I just I've never heard anyone talk about. I think those two things are the biggest voices in someone's head. And I think we all have them. And I've just not heard anyone say anything about it. You're not lovable and you're not worthy. [Joey Chandler] Well, it's interesting because mine are I'm going to fail or no one likes me and I suck. Those are those are mine. I think we all have our own version of it. [Mary Meyer] OK, it's all it's all very, you know, no one likes me enough or something. [Joey Chandler] But the point that you said is it cannot be said enough. Doubts and fears are a natural part of being human. This is something that I've really learned over the past few years is as I started to understand more about how the brain works, we have the fear parts of our brain that normally would have protected us from lions and tigers and whatnot back in the day. But now those fear things are really trying to stop us from being embarrassed, failing, feeling rejected, not good enough, you know, those sorts of things. So when we think of I want to grow my business, I want to start a podcast, I want to ask someone on a date, I want to lose 20 pounds, whatever it is, that goal that you set, our brains immediately want to stop us because when we set a goal, we set ourselves up for failure. You immediately set yourself up for failure and your brain is like, no, no, don't do that, you suck, don't, you know, don't even try and it will keep us safe. And that's just a normal part of being human safe. Yeah, yeah, safe. It's not a real enjoyable safe, but it's it's our brain likes a consistency. It's the status quo. And so when you set a goal, and this is crucial, it's any goal you can you can test it out yourself, just ask yourself, you know, what's a pressing goal that you have right now and immediately there will be some doubt, some fear, some worry that comes up and you just want to acknowledge those. You don't have to do a lot of therapy. It's not like you got to figure out where they came from and all that kind of stuff. You just acknowledge them. I suck. I'm too bald. I'm to this. I'm to that whatever your thing is, set that aside and then you can say, OK, what do my values say to you now? Then you can choose to take an action based off your values. [Mary Meyer] So for you, so you're you're being very vulnerable. You say your fears are I suck. Nobody likes me and your core and your core values. Tell me your core values again. [Joey Chandler] Connection, curiosity and fun. [Mary Meyer] OK, so that is like as soon as you it really does matter then how you live your life, what you're focused on. [Joey Chandler] Yeah, it really does. And like we were both at Reno Tech Week, totally awesome thing. Yeah, I had the experience of going in there and multiple times a speaker look at me and say, hey, Joey, like they called me out in a room just to say hi and that they were glad to see me. And my voice in my head like no one likes you. But then I'm like, wait a minute, someone does. They did enough to like, you know, speak up. And so are those voices in our head are not logical. They're not there. They're just we built them up over time and you could try to make them go away and do other work. I just acknowledge them and then go back to our values. [Mary Meyer] Yeah, well, that just seems like that's the thing to do. And it was really interesting in your session. I remember there was one person who spoke up at the end and said, my core value, we don't you know, there's we don't know this is a we don't know who this is in terms of like, there's no name associated with it. So I'm going to say it. But he said, I am lazy. That's my core value for that. And I just like, OK, so you did the core value work and you came up with I am lazy. And then what did you say to that as the core value coach? [Joey Chandler] Yeah, I couldn't say a whole lot. And we didn't have a whole lot of time. It took a little bit more work, but I actually talked with him afterwards. And we had a great conversation and lazy for him was just the ability to do what he wanted to do, which is the definition of freedom. And I said, oh, you're about freedom and his whole face lit up. Oh, and he's like, oh, my gosh, yes. And it turns out and I said that I asked him, well, what does freedom mean to you? And the one word that I remember because we didn't talk that long, but I remember it was creativity. And it turns out he's an artist, he's a photographer. He's like he does all these creative things. But the world that we live in, when he wanted to just do what he wanted to do, he interpreted that as lazy. And obviously that has a negative connotation. And so he kept telling himself, I'm lazy, I'm lazy, I'm lazy. Which in reality, he was like, I just want to be free. I want to be able to do what I want to do, which a lot of us want. You know, like we all want to do that. And and all we did was switch his perspective and it was just awesome to see like is just a smile, is he all lit up? And he's like, I never thought of it that way. Well, it was and and this comes back to one of my kind of core beliefs is that we all we're all good. I believe that we're in the goodness of people. And I know people do horrible things, but I believe that we all have values. And there are times when we live true to those values and there's times that we don't so this gentleman had the value like freedom and creativity, but he didn't realize that those he could use those were good as opposed to just telling himself over and over again that he's lazy, which is just some, you know, it's a negative thought, limiting belief. So and and I love it that he was so bold and direct about it. Like a lot of people would have said, like, oh, I don't believe I can do it. But he was like, no, I'm lazy. Like he was honest about it. And I really applauded him for that because that's because that's what he tells himself in his head. He doesn't say, oh, I have trouble getting stuff done. He's like, no, I'm freaking lazy. [Mary Meyer] Right. [Joey Chandler] And operates on top of that. It's really difficult. So we tweak his values, give us some ideas. And he walked away and we've had a conversation since then. Yeah, great, great guy, totally interesting, really creative and hopefully able to take more of that rather than the lazy side. [Mary Meyer] Yeah. And this is interesting to me also because like your fear and your core values are almost like the flip side of the coin. And so was his. So that does make you wonder is if you don't realize that what you want is a value that's a driving force, you can give yourself a very negative connotation to it, because probably the people around you aren't don't have the same values necessarily. So as an as as an example, I would say if you know, fun is one of your core values than people who are just worker bees are going to be like, you know, that's irrelevant and you're not working or, you know, there's going to be some kind of connotation to that. [Joey Chandler] And I I just had a good friend of mine about a year and a half ago, we've been friends about a couple of years and about a year and a half ago, we had a conversation about values and we did exercise and she picked some very growth, authenticity, contribution, like very good, solid things. And I was like, isn't fun part of who you are? And and this is a she's she's a coach. She's been a she was a teacher for a long time. But she's like a force of nature. And she was like, she smiled. She's like, yes. But then right away, no, she backed away from it. She's like, no, no fun can't be a value. That's that's that doesn't work. I said, you know, she wasn't a client of mine. So I didn't I'm not that we didn't have a relationship where I pushed her. But as I as we saw each other over the the past year and a half or so, you know, we would talk about a little bit. And in that time, I started to see fun kind of bubble up like she started to embrace that a little bit and she got married this weekend on her wedding post, she's in her video. She writes fun is a core value. And she's like, she's like, you have to embrace fun. And she thanked me by name. Oh, my goodness. Totally blown away. Unexpected, not didn't ask completely. But she just says, like having fun, being yourself. And for her fun is really about speaking your truth. And and she just and it was just so awesome. So unexpected. And she had this wedding that looked like a ton of fun. It was a complete expression of who she was. And it was just awesome to see. And it all happened because whatever it was 18 months ago, I said, hey, isn't fun part of who you are. And that thing, because it was true, it wasn't like I forced it in there. Because it was true, it started to warm its way up. She became more of herself and she brought that to that. And she ended up having this great wedding, which I was totally blown away. But the great part about it is not unexpected. Like that, I wouldn't have never guessed that that would happen. But I'm not surprised because this was an amazing woman who embraced more of who she was and brought just that side to her work and to her relationship and to her the way she lived life. It was incredible. [Mary Meyer] That is incredible. I what's coming to mind for me is I had a I think it probably was a podcast guest recently, but there was a quote that said someone said that was like, they don't know where they're going, but they're making good time. And I feel like that's how most of us live our lives. We're like, got to get there. And I definitely me. But if you have your when you don't have your when you've not done this work, which I don't think hardly anyone probably has done it to a good extent and to have a coach lead that lead you through like this. This is also a great thing. But if we know where we're going and why we're doing is because we're wired that way, that makes all the difference in the world. [Joey Chandler] Yeah, it does. I'm from Tech Week, you know, from Startup Week. Yeah, or startup, which is it was a lot of tech. It was a lot of tech. Yeah, I was a lot of AI stories or in workshops, part of part of that. And what I notice is that there's a lot of overwhelm. People with the presenter will be giving us awesome information. Half hour in, 45 minutes in, you just see people's heads start to explode in their eyes, just it was got too much. And I just kept saying, OK, how can I bring my values of connection, curiosity and fun to this? And it helped me. And after that, I actually ended up creating about 30 AI agents to run my business. And the thing that made the difference is that I was struggling. I couldn't figure out work. But then I said, wait a minute, I'm going to give each of these agents my values. So each one of the agents in their code says your values are some combination of connection, curiosity and fun. It could be fun, curiosity, connection, like different things. And I would describe it. And so allow me to connect with this person, you know, this agent's sense of who they are and what they do. And it just allowed me to be grounded, free. And I was able to create like 30 of them within less than a week. And it gave me that direction. And not just like direction. Sorry, I'm getting all excited about this here. Yeah, it's not just direction like I'm going to go there, but it's direction and the foundation. Because I knew I was building those AI agents as a reflection of me. So any data or any response that they had, I wasn't overwhelmed. So I'm like, oh, yeah, that kind of makes sense to me. And it allowed me I learned more about myself by doing this from different ways. And eventually, you know, I'm still working on it. But knowing your values helps you create things that you want, whether it be a marriage, a wedding or AI agents. [Mary Meyer] Yeah, the AI part, I think that I think everyone is overwhelmed by AI. Even the people who know it, like are the keynote speaker there since she brought up AI was man, I could barely did you I don't know if you saw that one, but I could barely keep up with his brain. Very, very smart. But one of the things he said is like, there's 200 new AI things that come out every week, new AI tools. So that's that's absolute. It's insane. So he said, hey, I can do this. You're like, no, it can't. Well, some new something maybe can. But can I go AI for a second, the stuff that I learned and then you tell me if you learned something else about AI there since we're on this conversation with from real startup week and it was recent here, one was I listened in on a lawyer who said, if if if we give you your document, here's your legal document, which of course is kind of there's some legal things in there that you can't necessarily make it public and you put it into AI, you might have broken the privacy thing. But also, if you say, well, I put that into AI, chat GPT or some other cloud or something and it came back and there's this 20 pages, what it said that you're right and you're wrong about and then you send it to the lawyer, the lawyer has to respond to every single one of those. You just cost yourself four to five thousand dollars. Don't do that. And then a lawyer is annoyed with you anyway. So that was one. And what was the other thing on that? The other thing on that was that AI just makes stuff up also. So you've got to remember that AI actually hallucinations, AI hallucinations. I don't know if everyone knows that term, but they just know the stuff that they know. And that one of the main speakers also, you know, the main speaker, Chuy Sepeda, did say AI is only as good as he's running it. And I'm thinking that's that's that's been true of the Internet. You know, like that's that's true of GPS, of cell phones or like there's anyone who wants to take advantage of something right with tracking us versus like, you know what I mean? Like there is good and bad to all of it. So I think AI is one of those. And there's a lot of good and bad involved with it. [Joey Chandler] Yeah, I think they're I see a possibility of a future. I don't know if this will come true, but the future that I hope is that AI forces us actually to learn more about ourselves because the most effective thing that I found that you can do is to put your core values into the custom instructions of whatever AI you're using. So like Claude knows my values are connection, curiosity and fun. They know what, you know, what that those words mean to me and how I use them in my various goals. Like Claude knows that I specifically put that in there. And what that means is that all of the data that I receive from Claude gets filtered through my values, so I am more quickly able to see what is or isn't true. What does sound like me or what does what is something that I can really get behind and what is something like, hey, you know, we can do better here. But it comes because it's through my values. And the big thing that this does is this prevents overwhelm. Because if you are creating content that aligns with your values and reflects with your values, it's almost impossible to get get burnt out. But if you're if I'm reading, you know, stuff that's your, you know, your values and I'm reading someone else's values, I'm reading something else, it's like our brains just were and you get overwhelmed. That's why so many people get exhausted after an AI session. And the other thing that values is just awesome. And I realize this by building all those AI agents in intelligence starts with baby steps. If you think about anything, you know, when we were kids, when you were learning to ride a bike, when you were doing anything, you didn't start with mastery. You started with like, how do I take the baby step? And I think what's really helpful is you figure out your values and then you say to chat GPT or whatever you're using. You say, hey, let's say your value is adventure. You say, chat GPT, how can I bring more adventure to my work? And it will tell you, here's some ideas. And then you can say, how can I bring a greater sense of connection to my work? And it will tell you and you can start to build entire communities, entire systems, all the things that support you as a reflection of your values. And as you do that, you'll learn more about yourself. You'll learn more about AI. You'll learn more about what it really takes for you to be successful. [Mary Meyer] Yeah. [Joey Chandler] And and you won't get overwhelmed because it will all be a reflection of you. But you got to be clear in your values and you need to have a system for using them and you just keep doing it over and over again. And as you do that, you you start to be more of you, which is that. And so if we did that, if we start with our values and use that, we might have a world where AI forces us and challenges us and supports us to know more about who we actually are, which would be great. [Mary Meyer] Oh, well, you know, like we could it depends on who's running it, right? [Joey Chandler] I just don't know what's going to happen. I'm just saying that's a possibility. [Mary Meyer] That's a possibility of a hopeful. Yeah, we can be hopeful. And, you know, a couple of other things that have been very interesting to me with AI, one is I had a recent guest and everyone needs to know this who's in business, but your liability insurance now for business does not cover an AI issue. So if you have an AI chat box, usually chat boxes are AI run. I also like the word automation versus AI, because I think AI is your automating things is a lot of what it is, and we know that the the idea of automation. But if you don't have now, this is just April of this year, if you don't have the AI writer and the chat box says, for example, oh, yeah, Joey can absolutely write you a masterpiece book. And Joey says, no, I can't. And they're like, I just I already paid you. So now you're being sued. I'm giving you a silly example. But if you're sued for something that a chat box said. So you need to have this liability insurance is not that much. Have the AI writer on there if you have a business. The second one was with Christina Bosnovich, who is a friend of ours. And she was talking about AI. And I have seen recently very interesting things where people on social media, it's like the whole page is actually AI pretending not to be AI. So it's pretending to be a real person, a real couple. And it's health and wellness, health and wellness, AI channels. I hate that, absolutely hate it, despise it. And she said, yeah, don't do that. And I agree. Don't do that. So if you use AI and you're like, I have to create content, you're creating content, most business owners are like, I got it. When people come to see if they're going to work with me, they go on socials. And it's social proof. Am I real? Am I going to want to work with this company so AI can help you find in your voice ideas for content creation? That can be something. And then the third one, this is the biggie, too. If you're a startup and you want funding for venture capital, whatever, and it's probably you probably have an AI company because that's what venture capitalists are looking at. Some kind of AI automation to help with something or other. If you give them an AI pitch deck, they won't look at it. They do not want AI pitch decks, even though you have an AI company. So like that's an interesting thing. Bankers, too, they're like, we're done. We don't even want to see them. We don't even look at them. I'm like, wow. [Joey Chandler] Yeah, it's very it's really interesting because they're all so many of us are using AI that we recognize when AI is and then we judge that person. We're like, oh, you're using AI when we just used it ourselves. And so it's a it's an interesting time to recognize what is and isn't going to work. I mean, like for the what is called the avatars, you know, the avatars I can speak to basically replicate us. When I find out that someone is an avid uses an avatar. I kind of stop listening to them. Yeah, they're the real person. They're like, oh, yeah, I create a whole bunch of avatars. I just stop listening to them. Because then I'm like, I don't know who's real or who's not. Yeah. Even if the information is really good. Now, challenge, of course, is that it's just only going to get better and better. It's the word avatars are the worst they're ever going to be right now. [Mary Meyer] Yeah, well, that's a scary. But I mean, I think for me, I think AI, I'm I'm fine with watching it when I know it's AI, but if you have an intention to trick me by pretending like this is an AI, that makes me angry because now like you're being lied to really, which we're fooling, we're trying to fool you. And that makes everyone angry. So no one likes to be fooled. Right. So that's that's just something to keep in mind. [Joey Chandler] But I like that's why I named if you go to certain girls, our confidence, if I actually say my J is my assistant, gave him a name and he'll walk you through the steps, it's steps I created, but J is going to walk you through. But I sound like I'm pretending to be that person or anything like that. But I do think just like owning, saying that's why I think naming your avatars is your especially your AI agents is so helpful because then it starts to become like, no, this is my AI you know, a copywriter. Her name for me is Cora. That's her name. So I can talk, I can talk about it like a thing as opposed to trying to pretend that it's all me. [Mary Meyer] Yeah, for sure. And if people know, like that's the other thing, too, is we can get a lot of information for free if there's some kind of thing out there and it doesn't have to be AI, but there's something that's free information that we can start getting a feel for, like, OK, now I know this much, now I need a coach or this business or whatever it is to take me to the next step in it. But usually people there's a lot of us before we make any kind of purchase. We want to have we want to be looking at information first. And so that's anyway, that's our AI. And I'm very concerned about I think we're all concerned about data centers and how those are built. And so, like, you know, like you're in Reno. Yeah. So we're all concerned about that. I feel like that's data, like they're collecting a bunch of data on us. It isn't all AI is my thought on that. [Joey Chandler] But you know, you're more you're concerned about the actual data in the data centers, not so much the environmental impact of the data. [Mary Meyer] No, I mean, I'm concerned about the environmental impact. But I just feel like they're being like, you know, like, for example, cars nowadays collect an insane amount of data on you. And it's just there's too much too many things collecting just all kinds of ridiculous amount of data on us like they're obsessed with us. They whoever they is, there's an obsession with absolutely everything. Where are your eyes at? What are you looking at? So I feel like that is it's an issue. So we're not just want to clarify because I had someone make a comment. I'm like, not not really pro data, data centers, data, data, data or data, however you say it, they got to do better. There's ways to do better. OK. Well, that was I didn't expect to do all that. [Joey Chandler] Well, it's awesome. I guess this is this is the beauty of getting grounded in your values. This is why I am like I'm the core values guy because you can use core values in anything. We just had a conversation about AI and data centers like data centers. Like and we could talk about how our values support AI, support our ability to stand up and really say, this is what I want in my community. This is what I'm standing for. Yeah, if you are of someone of a political mindset and you want to make a difference, knowing your values is critical, not only to speak powerfully, but also to have the energy to keep going. That's that's hard work. And so and we could have this conversation about relationships. We could ignore the family. We could go into fitness. We can go into all sorts of areas because fundamentally, the way I look at it, your values represent who you are at your very best, and I don't see any place where if you don't by bringing more of your values, you don't improve your ability to make a difference in that area. And that's why I love core values, because it can make a difference everywhere. [Mary Meyer] Yeah, I mean, I would say for me, one thing personally, when I was going through and one of mine I realized was adventure and so right now I'm not like doing a lot of traveling. I have done a lot and usually go travel as adventure and actually for me, travel or adventure has been. Doing things that are unusual for humanity to do, like adopting a family of four teenagers, like people don't do this stuff. Right. [Joey Chandler] We adopted a family of 14 years. Yes. [Mary Meyer] Wow. Yes. Yeah. Well, and I, you know, I don't talk about it that much. So but it's so many people would be like, that was my adventure. And that was it. That was the thing. But I could talk about a bunch of other things I've done, like going into the movie industry in my mid 40s. What a weird thing to do. And the fact that I made any progress with it is insane. Right. But I was able to do anything just so I've done some. But when I bring that all back in and I moved a lot and I'm like, oh, man, I'm just like, I'm kind of a weirdo. You know, like I'm just like all over the place. But when I and this is the, you know, like this is this is insane. No one understands me. Nobody gets me because I know it's had all these experiences. And then I go, oh, when you said that, I'm like, that makes I my core value is adventure. I like to have experiences, not necessarily even all travel. I've traveled some. But like adventure can be a lot of different things. [Joey Chandler] That's that's awesome. And it's so great to hear. Like you just hear your your energy and your excitement and talking. Yes, you're talking about something I had no idea. [Mary Meyer] And I don't know that I did either. That's why it's so cool. That's why it's so cool. No, it's exactly right. [Joey Chandler] It taps into something and you're like, wait a minute. That is me. And then you start to explore all these things. And this was just speaking of adventures. So I was I was talking to another coach. We were actually preparing for a podcast. And I was going to talk on her podcast a couple of weeks. This was like the initial call. And she's like, oh, I love core values. I'm like, awesome. And she went through her core values and got very serious. You know, and I didn't know her for like five minutes. And I just said, you know, it's fun or adventure part of your life. And she like stopped. Like it was like, and she said, adventure. And then she just talked and talked and talked about all this. She had moved and, you know, family and this all this stuff. And that tapped into her, that that worm to her, you know, that opened up something for her, just like it just did with the adventure for you. And that's why our values are so very important and specifically the words like fun, adventure, play, curiosity, creativity, things like that. I call them spark words and they're words that give you energy. They're words that were part of our lives when we were younger, for sure. But as we get older, we tend to suppress and put down. So I require when I work with people, they pick two kind of standard words, like say connection and contribution. And then we pick one word that's fun, play, creativity, innovation, something in that space. And it just opens up parts of who the person is. That it was always there, but they may have forgotten. [Mary Meyer] Yeah, I feel like I'm going to go do the thing again, because now I don't even remember what the other two words were for me. So I think the two other words, that's why I feel like this will help me a lot to have this kind of narrowed down. And it also makes me go just just to look at the adventure side. I'm like, oh, that's why that job or that thing felt like death. You know, it's because it just didn't feel like there was any adventure in it. So that's that's super great. So you have different ways of working with people. So start with going to certain growth dot com backslash confidence and take your core value quiz assessment, figure it out. Yeah. [Joey Chandler] And then there's actually two parts to the confidence thing. And one to help you identify your values. But then we'll walk you through seven questions, which I call the Ignite Protocol, which are seven questions that will boost your confidence. And we actually track people's confidence when they say, you know, my confidence is one to attend before and after they do this test. And right now we're averaging about a 20 percent jump from one one email or one series of questions without any of my coaching, just asking the questions and using Jay, my assistant, people are seeing a good boost in confidence. And and here's the great part about core values is once we identify your values and once you learn how to use them, you can start to apply it. And I have I have a workbook that you can use that would help you walk you through the process. I do three week cohorts where we work as a group. And then I offer private coaching and in each one is awesome in its own way. Just depends on what's best for best for the person. [Mary Meyer] Yeah. [Joey Chandler] But but the big thing is is just that you had the experience. Like you were like, wow, this is awesome. You remembered one adventure. [Mary Meyer] Yeah. [Joey Chandler] But our core values, we have to practice. It's a muscle that we have to build up. It's nothing fancy. You're not morally better because you know your values and use them. It's simply practice and use it. And unfortunately, the world that we live in is not set up for core values. People are not saying, hey, Mary, tell me about your adventure. They should be, but they're not. [Mary Meyer] Yeah. [Joey Chandler] And so we have to practice and build up that muscle. And each of the programs have different ways of doing that. But ultimately, you want to be able to say, hey, my values are XYZ. Here's where I'm good at it. Here's where I'm struggling with it. And here's the system I use to make the most of them in different situations. [Mary Meyer] Yeah, well, that's so great. So and it's nice that there's something there that people can start with. And it's so great you have options to work with. And I have definitely worked with both coaches, counselors, trainers, like, you know, if you if you have a little bit of money and some time to hire someone, you will usually get farther faster. Because as humans, we're made to work with each other. And we usually gain a lot more ground when we're doing that. You know, so forward faster is kind of what I look at with that. Go forward faster. So, Joey, thanks for coming on. This is really it's just it's such I would call it almost a soft skill. Right. Like AI and all these things are hard skills. We're talking about something that's a soft skill that everyone needs. Just an awareness of what who you are. And that seems to be one of the hardest things. So even though it's in some ways a simple thing, the simple things are the ones that I feel get very overlooked, ignored, and we don't comprehend them very well in many ways. [Joey Chandler] For sure. We are because what happens are doubts and fears are you're not good enough. You know, this isn't it. You got to figure out something new. And then instead of trusting ourselves, we're like, oh, I got to go read a new book, a ticket, you know, listen to a new do a new workshop or this or that. And we're always trying to figure out the new thing rather than saying, who am I? How can I bring more of me to my business, my dating, my fitness, my whatever? And then because when you do that, you find answers that work for you. [Mary Meyer] Yeah. [Joey Chandler] Like nobody taught you how to adopt four kids. Unfortunately, there's no book for that. And even if there was a book, it wouldn't be your book. But you, you're like, hey, this is true to me. I'm going to figure it out. And you did it, which is awesome. [Mary Meyer] Yeah. I feel like I figured out some really weird things. I don't even know that I'm like, I would write a book, but no one would read it because no one else is trying to do it. [Joey Chandler] OK, well, I got my little tech talk here, my soapbox. Here's this. OK, and I learned this in Clubhouse. Remember Clubhouse back in the covid days where it was it was basically a group group conversations. And what I learned there is that in any single room that you're in, that you're talking to doesn't matter if there's only one person there or there's a hundred, there is someone in that room that needs to hear your message and they need to hear from you. That happened over and over again. So I don't know what your book would be about, but I for sure know that it'd be people. Someone needs to hear that message. [Mary Meyer] Because the adventure series, I'll do the adventure of adoption or something, you know, whatever that, you know, oh, yeah, that would be one. Yeah. Wow. Good things. Good things like, see, this is makes my mind start going. Yeah. But definitely the other thing, too, when you're just constantly putting stuff into your brain, it's really great. And then it's just like you got to pick something to ground yourself like you did with the breath. And then I've had different guests say different things to like just be like mindful of like your presence. And this is just it is another thing that's very important. I almost feel like. I might just I might just like make a write the words and just tape them all over the place. I'm just looking at different places in here. I could tape them on the wall or something. [Joey Chandler] Yeah. As a reminder. Yeah. One of the exercises we do is actually really, really helpful is have my clients and participants, they pull out three by five card or four by six card and you write, you know, my core values are XYZ across the top. Whatever those are. Then you write out the seven questions. What can I celebrate about yesterday? What did I learn from that? What's my pressing goal? And you go through and these are all in the confidence for people that right. But there's seven questions. If you write that out on the three by five card, then you write it out once. You're like, cool. Then you set aside. Then you write it out again. You do the same thing and you do that three, four or five times until you have it memorized. And then you take those cards and you post it in your in your bathroom, in your kitchen, in the car. So you do it. It does double duty. It helps you memorize it to begin with and then gives you reminders. And it's I participants send me photos all the time of like just those three by five cards. [Mary Meyer] Yeah, this is what I'm doing because this is who I am and this is what drives me. That's and I feel good about yesterday because I did this and I this thing. Thinking yourself, just changing them internal, I think just being aware is the first step to having you have an internal dialogue and it's probably negative. Yeah, yeah, not always. I'm going to tell you a story. I had a friend in Atlanta. I was driving with her and she was missing. She's about to miss the exit. And this is Atlanta. So, I mean, you know, like it's it's just you don't want to miss. You don't want to miss an exit. It's just chaos. So I'm like, hey, this is your exit. And she drives past it. And I'm like, I say anything because, you know, what are you going to do? It's not in my nature to say something. And she goes, she starts talking to her. She's like, baby girl, baby girl, what did you do? Baby girl, she calls herself baby girl. I'm like, who does that? Whose internal dialogue is so kind? And it's a lesson I have never forgot because I saw it in real time. But what if we all did that? I feel like baby girl. Don't say that to you. I mean, if you're a guy, you're like, come on. That was come on, my dude. That was not that bad. Whatever. [Joey Chandler] Well, there is what I would say. But I'm guessing she has places where she is not baby girl to herself. If you were to ask her places where we are and we all are. There are places where you're totally adventurous, where you're like, you're like living through your podcast. It's an adventure. There are places where you're adventurous. And then there's places where you're not. [Mary Meyer] Oh, for sure. [Joey Chandler] And that shows up all the time. There are places where we're kind to ourselves. And there's places where we're like our worst critics. And that shows up different ways. And all there really is to do is to recognize that, bring more of the positive side, more of your values, less of the thousand fears. But I don't think we ever there's nobody who's all positive. There's nobody who's all negative. It's just a matter of that. Or maybe they are. I just don't know. I've never met them. And but that awareness, that awareness. [Mary Meyer] Wait a minute. [Joey Chandler] I am beating myself up. I'm talking negative. I got to go run the questions. [Mary Meyer] Yeah, just part of our humanity. You know, I think everyone struggles with this and we can all we can all take your quiz and get to the next step. So simple message and powerful. Joey, thanks for coming on. What do you anything in closing to share with everyone? [Joey Chandler] Yeah, well, my motto is simply just know your core values and own the heck out just because there's I just don't know anything that you wouldn't be better at doing and you'll be able to achieve goals faster with less stress, more fun, more excitement if you bring if you learn how to bring your values to that. I just don't know something. I just don't know anything else. I wouldn't improve by that. So I tell everyone know on that, you know, get clear on your values on the heck out of them and have fun with it. [Mary Meyer] Yeah, that's awesome. Well, thanks for coming on and certain growth dot com and then certain growth dot com backslash confidence for your for your thing and you're on LinkedIn too. So thanks, Joey. I appreciate you and have a great day.