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Mindset Shifts: Lori Rogers on Positivity, Resilience, and Autism Advocacy · Healthy Happy Wise Wealthy

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  Hi, everybody. Welcome back to Healthy, Happy, Wise, Wealthy season two.
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  So I'm excited for season two. And we have with us today Lori
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  Rogers with Positive Activity. Welcome,
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  Lori. Thank you. Thanks so much, Mary.
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  Yeah, I'm real excited to have you on here as we just start out this
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  new season. So Lori has done many things
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  in her life, but positiveactivity.net, you said in
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  2017, you started this.
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  And I'm just gonna jump into. I was looking through your website and so
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  you have these six guiding principles of positive activity. So.
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  And I do. And one of the things I'm gonna say this too with, with
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  the podcast is like, I feel like I love having people
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  on that. Like, you're not just saying these things. You've lived through some things,
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  so you know what I mean?
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  And, you know, you've lived some life for sure.
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  So. And we'll get into that a little bit later.
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  Some very interesting stuff. So, six guiding principles of positive
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  activity. So the number one was change your mindset
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  to change your life. Yes. Tell me about
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  that. Well, once I learned that
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  changing my words, which and my
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  thoughts, which become my beliefs, once I
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  could shift those and change those, I could change my
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  subconscious mind. I could change the way what my
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  subconscious mind was searching for me. Your subconscious,
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  which I didn't even know this back in 2012. This is what I learned,
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  these concepts, which I was a little annoyed that I didn't know it as a
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  younger person, but that's beside the point. So
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  once I learned that, we have this amazing tool, our
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  mind, our subconscious mind, that is a faithful friend
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  and wants to match to us everything that we want and
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  we desire and listens to us every day. So it
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  listens to everything we say, negative, positive,
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  neutral. It doesn't judge us. It just says, oh, she,
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  you know, doesn't think she's going to get any sales today. Or, oh, she doesn't
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  think she's going to be able to pay her bills today, well, okay, I'm going
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  to search for that. I'm going to match to that. You know what I'm saying?
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  So once I learned that, I learned I needed to change
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  my negative self talk, I needed to change the way I was approaching
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  life. My business, my family, my children.
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  And I could, I could, I guess,
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  engrave, I would use the word engrave new thoughts, new
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  beliefs into my subconscious. And that in
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  turn changes your life. At least for me it did.
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  Because your subconscious brain wants to please you
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  so, so much so it's going to match to you what you Think
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  about all the time what you say all the time. Or
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  you know, people would say, my people would tell my son who was going
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  into broadcasting. Oh, Craig. Oh, Cam, that's so hard. That
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  broadcasting career is so hard. It's. So I said, cam,
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  that's their belief. That's. That doesn't have to be yours. So you
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  write down the opposite on a post it note and you put that on your
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  computer every day and you say, opportunities are
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  here for me always. Having the career I want is.
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  Is. Is here for me always. And don't let other
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  people's beliefs become yours. Yeah,
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  that's what it's about. It's just about changing your
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  mind. And we all have the power to do it. It's like, oh my gosh,
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  we have this superpower to, to do this. And I wanted everyone to know
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  about it. So once I learned these concepts, it's like, oh my gosh, I gotta
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  teach this. This is crazy that I didn't know this. So that's
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  about. Yeah. And I think it just. There's something about it. Like we're. We.
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  Because we're always listening to ourselves. We don't even think about the
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  fact that there is something going on in our brain that's talking to us. Like
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  our brain is. We don't it become. We're not even self aware
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  of it. This thing that happens constantly. So
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  not aware at all.
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  And it's such that. Don't you think it's like that's really one of the. When
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  you talk about positive thinking, you know, it really is like
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  it's almost becoming self aware of what it is that's
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  going down in your brain. And I've. I've had
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  conversations with people because, you know, I've lived through some, some things that are pretty
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  traumatic. And so when you're talking about things
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  in the real world that are real, like this is really going down
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  and this is really bad. To somehow reframe it, to
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  be reframing it into something
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  that's positive in your brain can be, can be
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  a superhero challenge. Exactly.
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  And I think the key point there also is when we hit those
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  challenges in life, which I've had many and will continue to have
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  them, we don't shove it down. We
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  don't give it its due time. We give those emotions of
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  challenge and fear and worry and doubt their place.
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  And we let, we process them. We. We let them flow
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  through us. We. We let it happen the way it needs to happen.
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  Knowing even though, even though this challenge is happening today,
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  I'm going to do my best to stay as light as I can.
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  And tomorrow may take a day, it may take two weeks, it may take three
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  days. But I'm going to let this energy do its thing,
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  flow through me and. And be released. And sometimes we
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  need help with that, sometimes we don't. Sometimes it can be released, you know,
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  on our own. But you honor every emotion and you
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  don't want to shove them down because that's when they get sick and
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  we don't want that. Yeah. So it's. And it's
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  also when you talked about reframing them. I love that,
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  like, that thought process of reframing it, because you're looking
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  at it as, okay, maybe a day, maybe a week, maybe a month,
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  two months from now you'll say, oh,
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  now I see why that happened for me, not to me.
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  You know, now I see why I lost, you know, being the top
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  producer for that client. Now I see what was coming
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  down the line. Because if I. That happens to. That
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  happened to me. And I was devastated when we lost one of our clients. And
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  then six months later we garnered a new one
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  that was like 10 times larger. I'm like, oh, okay, that's
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  why it happened. But I didn't know that at the time. You're upset, you're
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  mad, you're worried, you're fearful. Okay, all right, all right. So,
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  you know, you move on and you do what you need to do to get
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  rid of. To release that and process that. And then
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  six months later, I'm like, oh, that's why that happened for me.
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  So, yeah, something else good was coming. Yes.
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  And we can't see it at the time because when you're in the storm, you
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  just don't know and you don't see it. No, no. And I
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  think personally, the difference between
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  positive, positive mindset and toxic positive
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  mindset is are you willing to feel your emotions?
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  Because if you're. Because if you're just like, put
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  that thought away. That's. That's negative thought. No, negative.
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  That's. That's not human. Or, you know, like, we're only accept
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  this emotion of happiness. We're not accepting any others.
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  That's when. That's when all of a sudden you get. Because I've been in
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  sales like you are and done a lot of different ones, and then you get
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  these managers who are just so mean
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  and not. And the very opposite of positive as
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  they are trying to teach positivity. So
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  in my opinion, is because you still gotta be human.
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  Yes. Thank God we are all humans. And that's.
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  Right. You know, our. Our emotions are our guidance system.
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  So. Right. God gave us that. Creation gave us that universe
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  gave us that. Whatever you want to call it, gave us that. So let's use
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  it wisely and use it as our barometer
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  and you know where we're going to go with it. Absolutely. Yeah.
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  Yeah. I didn't even know what toxic positivity was until, like, six
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  months ago. Someone asked me that. I'm like, I had to look it up. I'm
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  like, what is that? Like. Oh, okay. No, no, no. That's not what
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  we're talking about here. Yeah, no, yeah, well. And I could sense,
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  you know, I could sense when I was. When I was just, you know, initially
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  looking through your stuff that this is, you know, that's
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  not what you were. So. But yeah, it's. It's. And that
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  that's how we got to, like, delineate it. It's like we're not talking about,
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  don't feel anything. Anything bad that happens to you is because
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  you wanted it to happen because of your mind. And I've heard people say that
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  that's kind of a quote versus this
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  is. You're dealing with life, which is really, really tough. And you're going through some
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  things that are really tough, but instead of playing
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  that spinning cycle in your head about how bad it is and how bad it's
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  going to be, you stop it and you go,
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  maybe it'll turn out better than I think. And
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  then start linking those emotions that are so intelligent
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  to the outcome, which is. I've been
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  really. I've been really. I'm in the middle of focusing on that. The thing that
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  has not arrived yet that I'm feeling into, you know,
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  so I'm. I'm living it currently, today. Yeah.
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  All right. So you're allowing. I love it. So. Yes. Yeah.
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  So the. The second part of this expectation
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  versus patience. Was that the second part? Well, I would say
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  expectation and patience. So the
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  concept there is we have goals,
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  intentions, things we want to
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  accomplish, things we want in our life. So they're over here
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  in our future, and we've asked, we've written it
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  down, we've put it in our journal. We've done whatever it's up on our vision
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  board. We know our goals, we know what they are. So we
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  stop saying, I want this, and we
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  start saying, I am this. So I am
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  five new clients this month. I am
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  garnering, you know, 20,000 in commission this month. I am,
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  you know, whatever the statement is. So when you say, I am.
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  You're putting yourself in right here, right now. It's in.
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  It's. It's with me. But here's the thing. It may not be in
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  your hands yet. It may not be part of your experience yet.
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  So there's a gestation period. A gestation period between
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  the intention, the writing it down, the knowing that you
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  want it, the universe knows you want it and getting it.
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  So we have to stay patient with. It's. It's like being
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  pregnant. You know? You know you're pregnant, but you're not going to rush it. You
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  don't get mad that it takes nine months. You don't get mad. You're like, oh,
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  I'm out of here. I'm not doing this anymore. You don't do that. You know
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  that it's taking time. So in that buffer
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  of time between knowing what you
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  want and having it, can you be patient with
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  excited expectation of it coming? So within that
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  buffer of time, can you feel the emotion of having it?
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  Can you sit five minutes every day and meditate and think
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  about having that and how that's going to feel when you do? Because
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  most things we want, I would say all things we want,
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  we want them because we think it's going to make us feel better.
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  So feel better today for five minutes and
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  visualize it. See it happening. Feel
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  how great you're going to feel when you get that $20,000 commission check. Like,
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  whatever it happens to be be, feel it now, because you may
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  not have it now, but you can feel it within the next few minutes.
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  Right? I. I take people through an experiment of closing their
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  eyes and imagining. I go through this whole process of taking
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  a lemon, rolling it between your hands, putting it down on a
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  cutting board, slicing it open. The juices are flowing
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  out. You squeeze it, you take and you
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  take a taste. And as you visualize and people go through that process, they
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  start salivating and they feel like they're really having the
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  lemon. Because your body doesn't know the difference. Thank God your brain
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  doesn't know the difference between something real or
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  imagined. How cool is that? Like, we have another superpower
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  so we can show our brain. This is what it's going to look like. This
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  is what it's going to feel like. I'm so excited. And your brain's like, oh,
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  yeah, okay, cool. Yeah. So that's kind of cool.
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  That is. It is so cool. And I love what you're talking
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  about it, because I'm like, oh, this is me living this today. And been the
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  Last month or so as I. Or last several months as I'm like,
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  trying to just get more aligned in my life with
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  things I can't talk about on podcast, but
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  for different reasons, but just that alignment with work,
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  with. With vision, with just
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  finances, with family, with every part of it and, like, what.
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  What I would want to have. I love how you
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  use that word alignment, because
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  when you think about it, you're lining up
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  with the energy of having what you want.
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  So that's what you're doing. When you're visualizing and feeling it,
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  you're aligning with it. So I love that you use that word. That's good
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  word. Yeah. Yeah. That was my word of the year. We did a session a
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  couple. A couple weeks back with some people. I'm like, what's your
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  word? Yes. Yeah. And I'm like,
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  alignment needs to be my word for sure. So thanks for that.
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  Okay, so the third one that you have on here, and I. This is. This
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  was fascinating to me. I love it. And I don't know that anyone's heard of
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  it. Festin in lente. Is that. Am I saying it right?
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  Yes. So it means
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  make haste slowly. So it's. It's
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  just this concept of being present, really.
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  So you're going through your day and you're doing your thing.
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  Can you stop every five, ten, I don't know, put an alarm on your phone
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  an hour, every 30 minutes and just stop and be
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  present and be aware and,
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  you know, maybe shut off the computer. Not shut it off,
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  flap down the computer and just be aware and breathe for a few minutes.
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  And just so I know we're all going through our days and we're.
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  We're so busy and we're rushing and rushing and rushing. Take
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  that time to stop and
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  pause. Even it's for 30 minutes, seconds,
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  doesn't matter. Just stop and pause and breathe and
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  get your brain focused on one thing, your breath,
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  for 30 seconds or a minute. And it helps your
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  brain sort of declutter from that
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  ADHD of social media, of
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  our emails, of our text messages, of our, you know, voicemails, of
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  everything bombarding us. Let the brains
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  and just focus on one thing for 30 seconds or a minute,
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  if you can. I know when I started doing it and sitting and breathing and
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  listening to my breath, I could do 30 seconds at a time and I was
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  out. And then I just increased it a little bit each day.
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  Yeah, I love it makes. It does remind me
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  of yoga. And I remember back when I've been doing it,
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  I'm getting back into It. But when I first started years ago and
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  I kind of have started and stopped, but like when you're going through something
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  that's really stressful, it's easier to go do boxing
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  and go hit something. And
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  that felt better then. And. But the thought of like
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  staying in stillness where you just have to be still and hold, it
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  was awful, you know, And I think when
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  you're going, if you, if. Well, and this is like, you know, like the being
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  trauma informed kind of thing. So like you've been through the. Some trauma
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  and you don't want to like just you got to move. Like you got to
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  move and so to get your body out of flight or fight,
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  then you got to be still. But I. In the,
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  in just the general workplace, I think we're in fight and fight
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  or flight a lot. We are. So,
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  you know, in one way or the other, it's just, it can be. Not all
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  workplaces are chaotic, but certainly an entrepreneur, sales
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  and there's a million other things. Like you could
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  be working at a, at a fast food restaurant and be completely stressed, you know,
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  so that. I love that. That just the coming back
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  to a moment of stillness. And
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  that's so, it's so, it's so simple and so brilliant.
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  So what I tell people to do and I hate. At workshops, I hand out
• 17:10
  lip balm that has our logo on it. And I say every
• 17:13
  time you put that lip balm on your lips, I want you to take
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  that 30 seconds, that 20 seconds and just breathe and
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  just focus on the feeling, focus on the balm, focus on your lip. Just to
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  give your brain one thing to focus on. So that's,
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  that's a tip or trick too. So. Or every time think about
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  like something you do or every time you take a sip of water or take
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  a sip from your coffee or whatever, whatever resonates
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  with the person. Yeah, that's. I think that's
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  brilliant. And other guests I've had on have said really the same thing.
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  So we're onto it, right? We're on, we're on to the thing that's gonna
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  help us. So the. Okay, what are we on for? The
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  fourth thing is just do your best. Yeah. So.
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  Oh my gosh. That came from a book called the Four Agreements,
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  which I highly recommend. It's a cute little stocking
• 18:06
  stuffer sized book. And the Four agreements are.
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  Oh my gosh. No, I'm spacing them. But don't talk badly about yourself
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  or others. Like, don't gossip,
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  don't make assumptions, always call and get the
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  answers to questions like don't assume what's going on. Right. Always
• 18:28
  find out or think the best of things. Right.
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  And then there's. There's two more. There's one more. Now I can't think of what
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  it is, but the book is sitting right there. I can't. But anyway, the last
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  one is. The fourth one is always do
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  your best. So do the best you can
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  with those three agreements. And if you
• 18:50
  fall off that, you know the train. So you fall off, you get back on
• 18:53
  the next day. But give yourself some grace. But always try to do your best
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  with those. Yes. So it's not talking badly about yourself and others.
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  Don't make assumptions. What was the third? Maybe someone knows and they'll pop.
• 19:04
  The third one is never forget number three. Ah,
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  exactly. Now I can't remember.
• 19:11
  I. I've heard of that book too. So now we'll have to.
• 19:15
  We'll put it in the show notes. Go check the show notes. Go get a
• 19:18
  copy of the book. That's. That's awesome. I love that.
• 19:22
  And you know, I do think that's the. That goes back to. Really the first
• 19:25
  one too is your mindset is just some gentleness with yourself
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  because you're a human. So perfection isn't the goal because
• 19:32
  perfection is unattainable in many ways. No, it's not about
• 19:36
  perfection at all. It's. I think it's more about excellence. Just
• 19:39
  excellence. Character. Excellence of communication,
• 19:44
  excellence of back and forth. But that doesn't mean perfection
• 19:48
  because I don't even know what that is, honestly. But tell you an interesting
• 19:51
  story. We. A couple months ago, I got an email. One of our
• 19:55
  suppliers was emailing me. She's the customer. She heads up the
• 19:59
  customer service organization. And her emails were just
• 20:02
  so snarky and wow, wow, where's this art? You know, like
• 20:06
  just like not nice and just mean. Kind of mean toned.
• 20:10
  So I'm like, yeah, what is happening? You know, So I would just respond.
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  And I said, you know what? I'm going to call her. Why is she being
• 20:17
  so. So I called her and said, you know, Debbie, you know, I'm not sure
• 20:21
  what you need. What did you need with this order? So as the conversation went
• 20:24
  on, she was telling me that her husband was going through
• 20:28
  colon cancer and how she was about that. So you
• 20:32
  don't want to make assumptions that this woman hated me and didn't
• 20:36
  want to work with me or whatever. And look where I would have gone with
• 20:39
  that. Where in reality, you just don't know what someone
• 20:43
  else is going through. Yeah, so that's a great
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  example. That comes up a lot. These things come up a lot. So instead
• 20:50
  of me, you know, going back at her and being mean
• 20:54
  back to her, I didn't do that at all. So that's being your
• 20:58
  best. That's being your best. Now does that happen all the time? No.
• 21:01
  Sometimes I lose my patience and then I have to call the person, say I'm
• 21:05
  so sorry, I just lost my patience. But you just
• 21:09
  try to do your best. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. That's a great
• 21:13
  example. Okay, so we're doing the six principles of positive activity.
• 21:17
  So the number five
• 21:20
  then is the power of positive thinking. So
• 21:24
  I guess what I would say here is when your
• 21:28
  mind. And you'll see the benefits on our main page too.
• 21:32
  So when your mind is in a more optimistic,
• 21:35
  positive, joyful state up here
• 21:39
  as best it can be, there are all these benefits that have been
• 21:43
  scientifically researched. So things like on
• 21:47
  average, when your brain is more optimistic and positive, you sell
• 21:50
  on average 37% more. You're
• 21:53
  31% more productive, you're more resistant to, to
• 21:57
  illness. You are open and
• 22:02
  you more easily accept creative ideas coming into your
• 22:06
  brain. You can actually hear them and maybe apply
• 22:09
  them or look into them. You
• 22:13
  are all, all the children's great. They studied children. All
• 22:17
  of their grade scores were higher. Sat, act,
• 22:21
  those kinds of, those kinds of standardized testing or higher.
• 22:25
  Doctors are 19 more accurate
• 22:29
  in their diagnoses when their brains are more
• 22:32
  optimistic. So it's like check in with your doctor before you go for
• 22:36
  a problem saying how you feeling today? But you know, whatever.
• 22:39
  And I find that one fascinating. And they're all listed there on my,
• 22:43
  on our website. I forget, you know, there's many others, but once
• 22:47
  I learned about the power of this, you know, that
• 22:51
  we're building, what we're really doing is teaching people the practices
• 22:55
  they need to keep their vibration, their
• 22:58
  happiness level, their resilience. Call it your resilience
• 23:02
  higher. So when challenges do come up, because
• 23:06
  they are going to, especially when you're an entrepreneur or you're a mom,
• 23:10
  a wife, whatever, it's going to a manager,
• 23:13
  it's going to come up. So you might get bumped down a few
• 23:17
  notches that day, that incident, that hour, whatever.
• 23:21
  But because you built up this resilience, you,
• 23:24
  it's easier for you to work through these emotions,
• 23:28
  pass these emotions, let them flow through you
• 23:32
  and, and get back out of that. You're not in the ditch as much
• 23:36
  anymore. Yeah. So that's the power of it
• 23:40
  and it's been scientifically proven. So I say why not do it?
• 23:43
  Why not do it? How do you think that relates to the
• 23:47
  mindset change? Like how. How is it different? How does it relate? Like
• 23:51
  with the number one? It's the same.
• 23:55
  I would say it's the same because you're changing.
• 23:58
  You know, shifting your mindset is changing your life and you're
• 24:02
  changing your life because all of
• 24:06
  you're not. Maybe you're not so depressed anymore.
• 24:10
  Maybe you're. Or if you do get depressed about something, you
• 24:14
  get anxious about something or worried about, you're able to get
• 24:18
  back out of it faster. Yeah. So it's not like
• 24:21
  it's the. These emotions are still going to come up,
• 24:26
  but you're able to deal with them better. So it goes hand in hand. Goes
• 24:29
  hand in hand. The honest dealing with emotion
• 24:33
  and then moving it and reframing it
• 24:37
  into something that feels positive. I love that
• 24:41
  letter. Creativity lead is the last
• 24:45
  one. Or lead with creativity.
• 24:49
  This is. So one of the benefits of
• 24:52
  living with a more optimistic and positive mind
• 24:56
  is you are more open to allowing
• 25:00
  these creative ideas to come in. For instance,
• 25:04
  when you have challenges or issues that come up in business. And we just had
• 25:07
  one a couple weeks ago where our client received their. We
• 25:11
  also have a swag business called Rogers Marketing. So she received 400
• 25:15
  jackets. They were all mis-sized.
• 25:18
  She hated them. The arms were too tight. She wanted to return them
• 25:22
  all. So at first I'm like, you know, that
• 25:26
  gut wrenching fear and worry and anxiety and over,
• 25:29
  you know, mainly over money because we were going to lose money on the order
• 25:33
  that that money thing always comes in. Right, right.
• 25:36
  So I said, okay. So I think I went out for a walk,
• 25:41
  came back in, talked to Neil about it. I'm like, what are you gonna do
• 25:44
  about this? So I called my client on the phone. God forbid, right. I
• 25:47
  called her and I said, okay, let's work this through. What are the issues? What's
• 25:51
  happening? What will resolve this for you? Like, okay,
• 25:55
  then, you know, then Neil and I talked about a Lamar. I said, I'm just
• 25:59
  calling the jacket vendor. Maybe there were something wrong with these
• 26:02
  jackets in the first place. So we did that and
• 26:06
  we ended up getting a full credit from the jacket vendor on the
• 26:09
  jackets. And she took.
• 26:13
  I asked her to take 25% of the cost
• 26:17
  because they did get samples and they liked them at the time. She's like, yes,
• 26:21
  we're willing to take that. Then the only money we lost was on the
• 26:24
  embroidery of the. Of the garments, which was around $5,000.
• 26:29
  So what, so what I mean is,
• 26:33
  instead of just being mad and angry and fighting back. And fighting back.
• 26:37
  No, no, no, you've got to buy these jackets. No, you know, whatever. We.
• 26:41
  I just sat and waited and listened and just
• 26:44
  went for a walk. Let these negative emotions, you
• 26:48
  know, flow through me. And then I was more, I
• 26:52
  was more open to hearing the, the
• 26:56
  creative ways the universe was sending me ideas to fix this.
• 27:00
  Right. We fixed it. We fixed it. So. And we still have the
• 27:04
  client out of it and they appreciated it. So. Yeah,
• 27:08
  that's just one example. Yeah. I love that
• 27:11
  so much. I love it so much. And I want to because I, because
• 27:15
  I've seen the. We'll call it toxic positivity in
• 27:19
  play in my, in workplaces that I've been in. And the
• 27:23
  difference between what you just described, where you're taking it in,
• 27:28
  this is horrifying. If you had to, you know, hit
• 27:32
  with the whole cost. And so then you kind of let the
• 27:36
  shock and negativity roll through you first. Like you
• 27:40
  allow it. It's shocking, it's negative, it's
• 27:43
  like terrifying. And then, so you first, you feel it,
• 27:48
  you let it flow through in a way that's not being thrown at
• 27:51
  someone. And then when you're in a more, you know,
• 27:55
  when you let that in, then you go in and deal with it, basically.
• 27:59
  Yeah. Find all the different things that maybe we
• 28:03
  can, we can work together with people to not have
• 28:07
  it be as awful as it feels like it's going to be. Right.
• 28:11
  So that's so great. Yeah.
• 28:15
  So you also have a three minute
• 28:18
  reset. Oh, yes. So if you go to our website,
• 28:22
  positiveactivity.net there's a free
• 28:25
  download and. Well, there's many free downloads, but one of
• 28:29
  them is a three minute reset.
• 28:33
  So if you, if you're just feeling like crap and the day you're a little
• 28:37
  snarky, you get out of bed in the wrong whatever, or your kid was
• 28:40
  mean or your child is having a bed. You know, we have a special needs
• 28:43
  child with autism and if he's having a bad day, my mom
• 28:47
  has a bad mom feels that. And it's not great for me
• 28:50
  either. So there are three minute resets on there that,
• 28:54
  that I learned that I wanted people to say just take three minutes and
• 28:58
  go dance for three minutes in your kitchen. Go out in nature and just put
• 29:02
  your, if you can put your bare feet in the ground.
• 29:06
  On the ground, on the grass, on the dirt, and there's many other
• 29:09
  in there, you Know, grab your book that you're reading and read your book journal
• 29:13
  about it. Call a friend. That makes you laugh. That's my. One of my
• 29:17
  favorites. It's just. Or I put on an episode of Schitt's Creek. I'm like, oh,
• 29:20
  my God, that's more than three minutes. But there's. Yes, the funniest
• 29:24
  show. And it is. Sorry that Catherine o' Hara passed
• 29:28
  away. That makes me, you know, at God lover. And
• 29:32
  so there's a whole list of things there of just
• 29:35
  ways just to give your. Give your. You can give yourself three minutes to just
• 29:39
  like, reset. Yeah. And reset.
• 29:44
  Yeah. I. I was, you know, I was laughing at that because I had. I
• 29:47
  did a. I did an episode in a talk actually, about how
• 29:51
  to get rid of nerves when you're. When you're doing public speaking and I
• 29:54
  have an actor and I'm like, when you, you know, like
• 29:58
  that. The thing was that my number one thing was like, be
• 30:02
  goofy. Yeah. So if you're
• 30:05
  rehearsing your speech and it. That's because it tied in with what
• 30:09
  you're saying, like, your nervous system will get. Will tie
• 30:13
  your speech in with this. With this essence of silliness.
• 30:17
  And you can't be happy and joyful and silly and
• 30:20
  goofy. Right. And scared.
• 30:23
  Right The book E Squared. I don't know if
• 30:27
  you. If you have heard of that book E Squared, like the letter E
• 30:30
  Squared. And I listened to a. An
• 30:34
  interview of the author, and she's so funny because she makes it
• 30:38
  fun. She makes mindset and she
• 30:41
  makes manifesting and she makes. It's just fun and
• 30:45
  goofy and. Exactly to what you just said. So you're
• 30:48
  intrigued and you're entertained because it's not a
• 30:52
  dry, boring subject. Right. It's. It's like this cool
• 30:56
  thing that you can all learn to do that's free. It's
• 30:59
  easy. I don't know that it's easy, but it's simple. It's free. It's
• 31:03
  simple. The hard part, I guess I would have to say, is
• 31:07
  carving. Is everyone understanding they're worthy of
• 31:10
  20 minutes a day for themselves to do these things.
• 31:14
  So that's. Yeah. If I have. Well. And, you know, you show
• 31:18
  up. You show up better in everything when you're. When you've taken
• 31:21
  some time, internal time for
• 31:25
  yourself, you know, regardless of what your life situation is, which
• 31:29
  life situations can get very intense. So
• 31:33
  for sure. So what. What made you. Because you've been doing
• 31:36
  the. The marketing, you've been working with your husband. For.
• 31:41
  Did you say 30 years. Is that what I read? Oh, my gosh, yes. Oh,
• 31:44
  yeah, yeah, right. I did go through your
• 31:48
  website. So I'm like, I'm trying to remember it. Oh my
• 31:52
  gosh. We've been, we've had this swag business which we started.. My
• 31:56
  youngest son was swag three. No, two, two and a half or three when we
• 31:59
  started the swag business. And I loved it because
• 32:03
  I could work from. Back in the day. No one worked from home, but I
• 32:07
  could work from home, do it during school hours, you know, and then
• 32:10
  be home with the kids after school, before school, that kind of thing. That was
• 32:13
  important to me and have more balance.
• 32:17
  And then it just grew and grew and it's
• 32:21
  fun. It's fun to get people swag and jackets and
• 32:24
  pens and it's nothing. It's not, it's not nuclear
• 32:28
  weapons and it's not missiles. It's not like high
• 32:32
  tech anything. It's just fun stuff that people are handing out
• 32:36
  to other people. So, yeah, it's fun stuff and it's been
• 32:39
  a fun, fun business to do. It's changed so much over the course
• 32:43
  of those 30 years, almost 30 years and. But
• 32:47
  it's, it's a lot. It's fun, fun, fun. So the way
• 32:50
  positive activity came in, because in 2012,
• 32:55
  I was in the ditch with a lot of stuff
• 32:58
  happening in business because remember, there was a recession,
• 33:02
  which was horrible for our business. Obviously.
• 33:05
  My son, who was with autism, was transitioning
• 33:09
  from high school into the adult world, which at that time
• 33:13
  was a big abyss of what are we going to do with him? And help
• 33:17
  him have a great day every day. My daughter was a
• 33:21
  Division 1 athlete and played lacrosse in college, was
• 33:24
  home with post concussion syndrome. She was a senior.
• 33:28
  She had in a dark room, home, the whole thing. So all of
• 33:32
  these things just accumulated at
• 33:35
  one time and I, I just didn't have the
• 33:39
  skills to work through it all. I thought I was
• 33:43
  doing an okay job, you know, I didn't know at the time that I wasn't,
• 33:46
  but I was like a wreck. My daughter
• 33:50
  at the time asked me to take her to a wellness
• 33:54
  fair because she couldn't drive. I had a driver and I'm like, okay, well what
• 33:57
  is a wellness fair? But sure, let's go do it. And I drove her to
• 34:01
  our local, a local hotel that was having it. And that's where I
• 34:05
  picked up the books, went to some presentations, started
• 34:08
  learning about mindset, shifting your thoughts,
• 34:12
  your words, your beliefs, how they are entrenched in
• 34:16
  your Subconscious brain. I even know I had a subconscious brain. I didn't
• 34:20
  understand about and appreciate. I didn't know anything. I
• 34:24
  was mad, first of all, that I didn't know. And then I
• 34:27
  just. I just came to after six months of studying and reading and reading and
• 34:31
  learning and studying this, you know, because I'm a math brain. I have a spirit.
• 34:34
  I have a master's in math. I'm very black and white. So these
• 34:37
  concepts were so gray and so
• 34:41
  surreal and so, like, spiritual. And I
• 34:45
  was also raised Catholic, which this wasn't taught at all.
• 34:49
  Right. You. You confess your sins. You have to do good to get into
• 34:53
  heaven. You have to do. That's the way I was raised. So I
• 34:56
  just didn't get it. So as I learned and as I
• 35:00
  evolved and as I learned more and I said.
• 35:04
  And then I listened to. Shawn Achor has an amazing
• 35:07
  TED Talk on Happiness on YouTube. It's
• 35:11
  12 minutes and 53 seconds of awesomeness. And he
• 35:15
  actually studied these practices that we
• 35:19
  teach that help. He's actually proving the law of attraction, which
• 35:22
  he doesn't call it that because he's. He's a scientist, and, you know, it's that
• 35:26
  kind of thing. But I'm like, oh, my gosh. He proved and showed.
• 35:30
  All of those benefits that are listed on our website are from his
• 35:34
  TED Talk, where he studied people
• 35:37
  doing an appreciation practice every morning. Five minutes
• 35:41
  of meditation, 30 minutes of moving your body,
• 35:45
  a conscious act of kindness every day, and
• 35:49
  conscious recall where you write down something that made
• 35:53
  you laugh or smile or whatever the day before. And
• 35:57
  I said, okay, well, I'm gonna start doing these
• 36:00
  and see what shifts and changes for me. And.
• 36:04
  And you physically wrote them all down. Is that what you. Did you do them
• 36:08
  in your journal every morning? Yes. And there is a download on our website where
• 36:11
  you can download these practices and do the. Just follow along and do
• 36:15
  them yourself. And I said, okay, Neil,
• 36:19
  this is ridiculous. Look at these amazing things that people can do
• 36:24
  in the comfort of their own home. They're free.
• 36:28
  They're simple. How can I not teach this? This is. This
• 36:32
  is craziness for sales teams, for
• 36:35
  individuals, for anyone that has goals and wants and
• 36:38
  desires. So these practices help keep you up here,
• 36:42
  and it's keeping you up here that helps you
• 36:47
  receive all that you want because you're allowing it in. So
• 36:50
  that's how it started, because I was that math
• 36:54
  brain, bought into the science and was like, okay, this is
• 36:58
  cool, you know, And I want to teach this. Yeah.
• 37:02
  Well, that's awesome. Yeah. Thank You.
• 37:06
  He also talks about how we have the happiness equation wrong,
• 37:10
  which I think is a key concept because I was raised, I
• 37:14
  was. Well, okay, maybe my parents didn't
• 37:18
  mean to raise me this way, but this is what I thought. You know, you
• 37:20
  get good grades, you get into a good college, you get, you know, good
• 37:23
  grades, you know, your teachers like you, whatever you get, get to a good college,
• 37:27
  you graduate, you're going to get a good job, and then you're going to be
• 37:30
  happy. And then this is going to be happy. You find the relationship, the person,
• 37:33
  the partner, then you're going to be happy. You get that new car,
• 37:37
  then you're going to be happy. And maybe you are for
• 37:41
  a few days, a few weeks, a few months. But
• 37:44
  research has shown that our brains work in the opposite
• 37:47
  direction. Happiness,
• 37:51
  love, compassion, all of that great emotion,
• 37:55
  that's what brings you success, that's what brings you what you want.
• 38:00
  So we have that equation wrong. And. No, I mean,
• 38:04
  I love my parents. They raised me great, but they just didn't know either. So.
• 38:07
  Right. I'm like, now that I know and now that this has
• 38:11
  shown, shown the way it is, that's the way it is. And now that I
• 38:14
  read other texts or even when you read a novel, a
• 38:18
  fiction novel or something, that's always the theme is there,
• 38:21
  that you know about love and compassion and joy and
• 38:25
  optimism is the way you want to live and everything else
• 38:29
  will come to you. So that was a hard concept.
• 38:33
  Yeah, I mean, it was a hard concept for me to understand
• 38:37
  at first, but then I was like, oh, wow. Once he said it, I was
• 38:41
  like, okay, yes, that makes so much sense. And also your perception,
• 38:45
  your person, you know, he studied that.
• 38:49
  10% of your long term happiness is
• 38:52
  predicted by the home you have, the car you drive, the
• 38:56
  money in your bank account, like tangible things in your life.
• 39:00
  But 90% of your long term happiness is based on how
• 39:03
  you perceive what's going on in your life
• 39:07
  and how you can shift that perception. You know,
• 39:11
  I always talk about the concept or
• 39:15
  the experience of COVID You know, we were devastated
• 39:19
  at first. You know, sales were down. We were all worried, are we going to
• 39:22
  get sick? What's going to happen? Is anything ever going to open? So after two
• 39:25
  weeks of like, you know, anxiousness,
• 39:29
  worry, fear, doubt, my old friends,
• 39:33
  I said, we said, and I said to Neil, I said, okay,
• 39:37
  here's the gist. This is what we're gonna do. We're gonna like,
• 39:42
  I decluttered my marketing closet, I decluttered my files.
• 39:45
  We emailed every single client individually and asked if we could
• 39:49
  have their home address to mail them some swag and mail them stuff.
• 39:54
  99% of them said yes and gave us their home addresses so we could
• 39:58
  stay connected with them. Because we did. They weren't in the buildings anymore.
• 40:02
  They weren't for a long time. Remember in the buildings. Yeah, did that.
• 40:05
  And then PPP, remember the
• 40:09
  masks and the hand sanitizer and the hand sanitizer sprays,
• 40:13
  all that protective equipment we were able to get for our
• 40:16
  clients through our factories. So we did that.
• 40:20
  So we shifted our perception of it.
• 40:24
  We got to spend time with our family. You know, the, the
• 40:27
  holidays weren't rushed and going to five or six different parties, it was just,
• 40:31
  just family and calm and peace. So,
• 40:35
  yeah, your perception of what's going on is
• 40:38
  90% of your predicts, 90% of your long term happiness,
• 40:42
  which I just, I just loved that. Yeah,
• 40:46
  yeah. The. Just the re. And it's a reframe. Reframe.
• 40:49
  Yeah. Can't do, can't do anything about what's
• 40:54
  out of our control, which tends to be more than we want.
• 40:58
  Yes. What are we going to do in the,
• 41:02
  in, in the middle of it? Yeah, that's, that's, that's beautiful.
• 41:07
  So you have a really lovely story also with
• 41:10
  your son and with autism. And
• 41:14
  I, I just got to ask about that.
• 41:18
  Sure. Yeah. So I'll tell you this. So
• 41:22
  our son, who at the time was 31 years old, he's now
• 41:26
  35 and he's a non
• 41:30
  speaker. He's a repetitive speaker and unreliable
• 41:33
  speaker. He always does seem to understand everything we would tell him.
• 41:38
  And he went through grade school, high school, the whole thing. Didn't get a diploma
• 41:42
  or anything. It was never in a special ed class. I'm sorry. He was never
• 41:45
  in a regular education classroom. And even with
• 41:48
  speech therapy and all of that for, I don't know, 18, 20
• 41:52
  years he's in school, never really helped him to
• 41:56
  speak. So at about
• 42:00
  31, a friend of Neil said, Neil, I've learned of this
• 42:04
  new communication method, it's called spelling. To communicate, you need
• 42:07
  to get the book underestimated. So Neil ordered the
• 42:11
  book, the book comes in, I opened the Amazon box, pull it out,
• 42:15
  and it's underestimated. And autism, the tagline
• 42:19
  was an autism miracle. And I went, oh, no,
• 42:23
  not another one. Right, so over here. Exactly.
• 42:26
  Because we've had tens, 20, 30s of
• 42:30
  those and thousands of dollars and, you know, journeys and paths
• 42:34
  that I was like, oh, I don't know. So I put the book down and
• 42:37
  I said, I'll let Neil read this one. You know, this was his friend. Out
• 42:41
  of respect for Eliza, I'll let Neil read the book. So the book sat on
• 42:43
  the table for about six months. Another friend of mine, here's how
• 42:47
  the universe knocks you in the head a couple of times, right? Linda
• 42:51
  said, Lori, we have a new doctor working in our office and she is
• 42:55
  the medical director of an autism research study. I think you should come
• 42:59
  in and talk to her. Like, oh, I'd love to. So I go in, I
• 43:01
  met with Dr. Heather, sat down. The first thing she says to me, lori,
• 43:05
  have you read Underestimated? I have another patient in New Jersey using
• 43:09
  this program. I'm like, oh, my brother, no,
• 43:13
  but I'll go home and read it tonight. So I read it in one night.
• 43:16
  And it's the story of a young man just like Craig and
• 43:20
  his dad, who also found spelling to communicate
• 43:24
  from another parent. And what it is, I don't have a board here,
• 43:28
  but it's so simple. It's a plastic
• 43:31
  board with letters on it,
• 43:35
  A to Z. And you teach
• 43:39
  the child, the adult, the young adult, to point to letters
• 43:43
  to spell out what they want to say. So just because
• 43:47
  you can't speak, right, so these motor, my motor cortex is here and
• 43:50
  it's sending signals to my mouth to say what I need to say.
• 43:55
  When you have apraxia, which most non speaking autistic
• 43:58
  people have, those messages from the motor cortex to the
• 44:02
  mouth are not getting there. So that
• 44:06
  does not mean you don't have knowledge and words
• 44:10
  and ideas and hopes and dreams and wants
• 44:13
  those are stored here in a different section of your brain. So they're
• 44:17
  all sitting in there, but they're not able to get to the motor cortex
• 44:21
  and out the mouth. Okay, So I had no idea of this.
• 44:24
  I didn't understand it. I said, okay. I found a practitioner in Rhode
• 44:28
  Island. We drove an hour, I took Craig an hour and a half, went down
• 44:31
  there, she sat down, she said, Craig, I know you're in there.
• 44:35
  I know you're intelligent, I know you're smart. I'm going to
• 44:39
  read you this paragraph about Dr. Stephen Hawking. And then I'm going to ask you
• 44:43
  a few questions. And after I ask you the questions, I'm going to give you
• 44:46
  this pencil with your, with your hand. I want you to spell
• 44:50
  out the answers from the board. And I sat there and I
• 44:54
  watched him spell out the answers. The first answer was black holes. And he
• 44:57
  spells out black holes. She didn't tell him how to spell black holes. He
• 45:01
  already knew how to spell black holes because he's brilliant.
• 45:06
  And the next thing she asked him was Craig,
• 45:10
  what's another word for sun? S, U, N. And he
• 45:14
  spells out S, O, L. And I said, well, timeout. Crystal.
• 45:18
  That wasn't in the lesson. How did he know that? She goes, Lori,
• 45:21
  this is prior knowledge. He has so much knowledge in his brain
• 45:25
  because he's been listening for 31 years and taking it all in
• 45:29
  and taking it all in and taking it all in. And now it's in there.
• 45:33
  So now here we are three years later and he
• 45:37
  has hopes, he has dreams, he has, he's told us his goals. He wants
• 45:40
  to get a high school diploma. He has friends that he
• 45:44
  talks back and forth with and they spell on their boards.
• 45:48
  Some spellers are now using
• 45:51
  computers or iPads and they type and then the iPad speaks
• 45:55
  for them. It's a whole movement. So you know
• 45:58
  anyone, anyone with a non speaking
• 46:02
  autistic person in their life, go, well, the
• 46:06
  first thing I would do is go to YouTube and look up the movie,
• 46:10
  the Spellers. The movie. And it's a documentary about the book
• 46:14
  Underestimated. And the book is on Amazon. It's an excellent book.
• 46:18
  And by the way, in the United States, just, just this last week,
• 46:23
  we now have an autism, a Federal Autism
• 46:26
  Research Council. Three of the members are non
• 46:30
  speakers. Two using the letterboards, one using
• 46:33
  typing. It's huge. It's a whole movement in our country now.
• 46:37
  And it's. And then from there there's, there's
• 46:41
  different in the book. If anyone wants information on it, go to my website,
• 46:45
  my email is right there. Email me and I'll send you where I can tell
• 46:49
  you where to go. That's great. So worth trying
• 46:53
  because your child has been listening and he knows his family, he knows his
• 46:56
  siblings, even though he never paid attention to them. He
• 47:00
  sends them messages now. He talks to them through the board.
• 47:04
  It's open. It's turned our world on its head and I'm
• 47:07
  doing a lot of advocating for it and all. But if I wasn't open,
• 47:12
  well, I wasn't so open, was I? Because I hadn't been told twice. But if
• 47:15
  at least I was open and allowing and. Yeah, and
• 47:19
  so that's about. That's amazing. Wonderful. So
• 47:23
  I'm curious, so the ones that, that do the board versus the
• 47:27
  ones that type, is there something going on in the brain also that makes
• 47:31
  it harder to type for some? Yes. Yes. Okay. Because
• 47:35
  typing is a very difficult fine motor Skill. Right.
• 47:39
  Talking is a fine motor skill. So a lot of the kids don't have
• 47:43
  good fine motor skills after any OT that works with them.
• 47:47
  So it's taken Craig, like, he's so cute when
• 47:50
  he's purposely pointing now to the letters. He doesn't use a pencil anymore. He uses
• 47:54
  his finger. Finger. And so that has to be become
• 47:58
  motor. It's all about motor planning. You got to teach it. You got to teach
• 48:01
  it. You got to teach it. It's repetition. Same with typing.
• 48:05
  Repetition, repetition, repetition. And of
• 48:09
  course, we have these keyboards that are not in alphabetical order. So you've got to
• 48:13
  figure out where the letter is when you need it. So that's all
• 48:16
  hand, eye movement. That's very difficult when you have
• 48:20
  apraxia. So some kids may never get to a keyboard because
• 48:23
  they just, they're happy just using the laminate
• 48:27
  board or a stencil board. But it is a higher
• 48:31
  motor planning skill. Yes. Yeah,
• 48:36
  that's. That's really good info. And I imagine, you know, just, just
• 48:39
  raising a child with autism is, was something that
• 48:43
  just really was it. Was it kind
• 48:47
  of out. I mean, did you have other friends and stuff that were in that
• 48:50
  same thing with you or did it feel isol. Well, remember,
• 48:54
  I feel like the grandmother of the autism community, to be quite frank, because
• 48:58
  Craig's now 35. So in
• 49:00
  1993, when he was diagnosed, they didn't even
• 49:04
  call it autism. They called it pervasive developmental disorder.
• 49:08
  Like, what the hell is that? Go try to get. And there wasn't the Internet.
• 49:11
  Then I had to go to the library to see what I could find on
• 49:15
  pervasive developmental dose disorder. There wasn't anything out there
• 49:18
  on that. It took time to figure out
• 49:22
  that, oh, you mean autism, for God's sake. And he started
• 49:26
  speech therapy. He started ot. We got him into
• 49:29
  special needs preschool. They didn't. He was the only one, the only
• 49:33
  one. So I was in there training them on what to
• 49:37
  do, training them on creating a communication board, which
• 49:41
  was pictures and words for him to point to, you know, for
• 49:44
  bathroom or break or snack or run or
• 49:47
  swing or whatever he wanted to do. And
• 49:52
  then I would guess, like once Craig was like 3, 4
• 49:55
  years old, we started an organization called PACE Parents
• 49:59
  Assisting Special Educators. So it was a, like a
• 50:04
  parent run PTO for special needs classrooms.
• 50:07
  So for 18, 20 years, 20 years, we raised money every year
• 50:12
  and we gave it back to the special needs classrooms in our community
• 50:15
  here in southern New Hampshire. And the teachers would write in at
• 50:19
  the time, again, write in or email. I guess back then there was email
• 50:24
  to tell us, ask us for things like Velcro or, you know,
• 50:28
  mats for the kids to sit on, all kinds of equipment that
• 50:31
  they needed for the, for their classrooms. And it was a
• 50:35
  great. We loved it. We loved doing it, so that was
• 50:39
  fun. And then we met more and then unfortunately,
• 50:43
  the explosion of autism started to happen at the end of the 90s.
• 50:47
  And it's just now I have so many friends now that
• 50:50
  are. That I've met through spelling, and we all
• 50:54
  help each other out. We have a large community here in southern New Hampshire,
• 50:58
  northern Massachusetts. And it's, It's. It's a thing.
• 51:02
  It's a big deal. So I am. But you are kind of an island. Because
• 51:05
  the thing is, every child on this
• 51:09
  with this diagnosis is different. They're different,
• 51:13
  their needs are different, their expression is different.
• 51:16
  What's going on medically is different. It's just different for
• 51:20
  everyone. And that's what makes it hard.
• 51:24
  But we. Yeah. So I think, I think a lot of times
• 51:28
  parents, when their child is first diagnosed, I get a lot of calls from parents
• 51:31
  whose kids are young, 3, 4, 5, 6 years old and
• 51:35
  help them through that initial process because it, it is like, gut wrenching
• 51:39
  at first. It's almost like now there's too much information out
• 51:43
  there. Right? Like, but back in the 90s, there was nothing. And now it's like,
• 51:46
  bah. It's everywhere. You know, what do you do? And not everybody agrees on
• 51:50
  what to do. You know, you have to be really secure and confident on the
• 51:54
  path you want to take and don't let any detractor, you
• 51:58
  know, anyone else distract you. You know, I, we turned over
• 52:01
  every rock. I will say that for sure, anytime I heard of a new
• 52:05
  therapy, vitamin concept, Dr. Blah, blah,
• 52:09
  blah. Yep, let's go check it out. Yeah,
• 52:13
  yeah, yeah, I can. I. I haven't had that
• 52:17
  experience, so it's like, I can, you know, I can imagine
• 52:21
  that there was just. Even though, I will say, even though we didn't have
• 52:25
  friends with children diagnosed,
• 52:29
  our community of friends here in southern New Hampshire
• 52:33
  were all in helping us with pace, helping us set up
• 52:37
  the fundraisers, helping us raise money, creating amazing
• 52:41
  silent auction gifts. Like we had. We had
• 52:45
  a blanket around us always of our amazing, you know, family.
• 52:49
  Family and friends. Even though they didn't have the
• 52:53
  experience, it didn't matter. So. Yeah, that was
• 52:57
  great. Yeah, that's great.
• 53:01
  So with the positive activity.net
• 53:05
  and the pace that, that you were doing. Do you
• 53:08
  do. Because you do some public speaking also. Correct?
• 53:12
  Yeah. So do you do that a lot in the autism community or
• 53:16
  for sales? I know, yeah. Like most women, you have.
• 53:20
  You're multifaceted with what you're doing. Multifaceted.
• 53:24
  So I have speeches written, you know,
• 53:27
  targeted to targeted audiences. So I have. We, I. We.
• 53:31
  I should say Neil and I sometimes do it together. So either myself or. And.
• 53:34
  Or Neil. Together we speak to the special
• 53:38
  needs community. So caretakers,
• 53:41
  meaning direct support, people that work for health and
• 53:45
  human services agencies, parents and
• 53:50
  special ed teachers will do. And we don't
• 53:54
  even charge for that. We just do it because we want them to know how
• 53:57
  they can lower their stress levels, how they can be more optimistic
• 54:01
  and positive. Oh, and by the way, I give my top 10 things of what
• 54:04
  I did when Craig was young that I think, you know,
• 54:08
  help just to give us a good foundation. I talk about that.
• 54:12
  Then we have a speaker series for many of our
• 54:15
  clients. Call us to come into their sales meetings or
• 54:19
  their health and, you know, their wellness day meetings and
• 54:23
  that kind of thing to help those employees
• 54:27
  just be more optimistic and positive because they see the benefits
• 54:31
  that it does for the employee. It's only going to affect the
• 54:35
  business as well. So we do. We have a series on that as
• 54:38
  well. That's great. So it just depends on the audience. And of
• 54:42
  course, there are audiences that are more spiritually based.
• 54:47
  And for that, it's a. It's. I talk
• 54:50
  more about the, you know, the energy of the universe, how we are energy,
• 54:54
  how we are always manifesting and that kind of thing.
• 54:58
  That's a whole nother thing. So. But all of it, I love. You
• 55:02
  have to meet people where they are. And that's. That's the point. You meet people
• 55:05
  where they are and you explain concepts and
• 55:09
  then you can. They can take it to the next level if they want to.
• 55:13
  Yeah, I love it. And I imagine you can book on
• 55:16
  your page the positiveactivity.net.
• 55:21
  yeah, that's super good. Well,
• 55:25
  Lori, what else? Oh, my gosh,
• 55:30
  what else? Oh, well, I'd be remiss if I didn't
• 55:33
  mention Neil's book. My husband wrote a book. I saw that, and I
• 55:37
  love the title of it. Yeah, it's on the website. Yes. Or you can sell
• 55:40
  on Amazon. But it's Bar Tips: Anything I
• 55:44
  Needed to Know in Sales I Learned Behind the Bar. And it's
• 55:48
  just amazing, cute little tips that
• 55:52
  are so relevant to sales, to the sales community, to being
• 55:55
  in sales and being in business, really. And in
• 55:59
  here's the funny thing. He goes to talk. He does speeches at
• 56:03
  Berkeley School of Music and he goes to talk to the singer
• 56:07
  songwriters. So they think they're musicians and
• 56:10
  they're artists and they're creative and which they are, all of that. But guess what?
• 56:14
  Once you graduate college, you're a salesperson now because you're selling you.
• 56:18
  You're selling your talent, you're selling your songs, you're selling yourself.
• 56:22
  So he loves going in there and teaching them because they have no concepts
• 56:26
  of these things. So
• 56:29
  that's another avenue too. So that's really fun.
• 56:34
  I can relate to that. I have it. One of my daughters did all
• 56:38
  kinds of bartending and she's a dancer,
• 56:41
  does different dances. And now Zouk is what
• 56:45
  she's teaching and stuff. But that is the. And of course
• 56:49
  I'm an actor. So like, you know, I lived in Atlanta before I moved
• 56:52
  here and was more into.
• 56:57
  I don't. I've kind of stepped back a little bit in Reno, but
• 57:01
  all the community of actors there. So you. And then I lived in Nashville with
• 57:04
  all the musicians. Yeah.
• 57:08
  So the whole creative community. I need to watch you do something.
• 57:11
  What were you in? I have to go watch you in something.
• 57:16
  You could go to my IMDb.
• 57:20
  It's mostly. Mostly independent stuff. Yeah. Cool.
• 57:26
  But I guess. Oh, gosh.
• 57:31
  Yeah. But. But
• 57:35
  everyone does restaurant work or bartending or
• 57:39
  something to pay bills because the creative world
• 57:42
  of. Is an entrepreneurship field
• 57:46
  that's way less defined in how you make
• 57:50
  money than I think, other ways of making money. So
• 57:53
  it's like I got into that and, you know, I had been, you know, my
• 57:57
  ex husband that was business insurance and
• 58:01
  the different sales things. So that's. That's so different
• 58:06
  mindset from an, from a creative. So then I got
• 58:10
  into a very creative field and I'm like, what do you all do to,
• 58:13
  you know, how does this work? How do these things work together? And I feel
• 58:17
  like I am still. Still asking myself those questions to some
• 58:20
  degree. But you almost have to find.
• 58:25
  Many people just have to find a way to
• 58:28
  make money as they're trying to make the bigger money
• 58:32
  or the other money. With creative. It's. It is a
• 58:35
  complex life right in that and. And
• 58:39
  there's no shame in that. You do it. You make so many
• 58:43
  connections really, and you garner someone many amazing
• 58:46
  skills. When you're working in hospitality, either as a bartender or
• 58:50
  a wait staff, you're selling too. Oh, you know,
• 58:54
  you know, the next. The dessert, the extra cup of coffee, the. The extra
• 58:58
  drink, the whatever it is. You're still selling. And those.
• 59:03
  So those concepts translate into selling your creative
• 59:06
  force as well. Oh, yeah. And. And just. Just
• 59:10
  being. Just kind of the poker face sometimes, too. I know.
• 59:14
  I've heard all the stories. I've not bartended, but, you know, about
• 59:19
  being positive when you're, like, you're not so sure
• 59:23
  you don't want them to leave the restaurant. You know. That's in
• 59:27
  the book. That's the story about that, too. Yeah. Yeah.
• 59:30
  That is a very strong correlation to selling.
• 59:34
  But that. the concept, too. I love that you brought that up. The concept
• 59:38
  that no matter what field you're in, you need
• 59:42
  to be presenting yourself. The way you present yourself to others
• 59:45
  is, you know, quote, unquote, sales. Right.
• 59:50
  As a teacher, the presenting of concepts or whatever you're. You're
• 59:53
  promoting. Yes. The
• 59:57
  positive acceptance of what it is that you have
• 1:00:01
  for people. Yeah.
• 1:00:05
  That's where the positivity comes into. Don't you think so? Yeah.
• 1:00:08
  Yeah. I love it. Well, Lori, thank you
• 1:00:12
  for your time and just for being available
• 1:00:16
  to people to both. Both with
• 1:00:20
  the main business and with the coaching speaking and then
• 1:00:24
  with anyone with autism who can come to you. So.
• 1:00:28
  And everyone can just reach you on at. Is it
• 1:00:31
  lori@positiveactivity.net? that's it.
• 1:00:35
  All right. Thank you, Mary. This is a
• 1:00:39
  great conversation. Thank you. Yeah, thank you, Lori. I appreciate you so much.
• 1:00:43
  So. All right, you have a good day. Bye.
• 1:00:46
  Bye.