Latest / College Is Fine, Everything's Fine / #72 How Laughter Lifts Us Up: Exploring Comedy, Coping, and Connection with Comedy/Therapy Duo Amber Autry & Melanie Reese, LMFT

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#72 How Laughter Lifts Us Up: Exploring Comedy, Coping, and Connection with Comedy/Therapy Duo Amber Autry & Melanie Reese, LMFT · College Is Fine, Everything's Fine

Liz (00:48) Sarah, I'm already laughing. I already feel really good about this. mean, it's been a long time coming in terms of and I'm really proud of myself, guys. I'm starting this episode. Usually I make Sarah start every single episode. I am going to punt to her in a second. But I think it's about a year that I've been trying to figure out a good guest to be on to talk about humor. College Is Fine Podcast (00:59) Mm-hmm. Liz (01:08) and its relationship with mental health and as a coping mechanism. And I was having a really shitty day earlier and I'm already feeling a lot better just from the laughs. So Sarah, you did all the hard work here. Do you wanna maybe explain the two lovely guests that we have on right now? Melanie Reese (01:18) good! College Is Fine Podcast (01:26) Sure, I'm really excited because as I think a lot of our listeners know, I moved to Nashville a couple of years ago, kind of boomerang back to my home state. And we have this amazing comedy club here called Zanies. And I was just looking at the schedule and I saw this person who I was like, oh, she looks like she'd be so fun and has a great sense of humor. And I started to her bio. And suddenly I realized that not only is she hilarious, but she has a podcast with a therapist, colleague, slash friend. Melanie Reese (01:53) Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (01:53) and it's has I'm fine in the title. And I was like, we have to meet. I have to meet both of these people. So I actually reached out to Melanie first because I was like, think a therapist would want to hear from a therapist. I don't know if Amber, was like, I don't know if a comedian wants to hear from a random therapist. I was like, I think my in is Melanie. I was like, Melanie's my in. So we made it happen. And so it's been so lovely. Melanie's also always already, I should say, been a really great. Melanie Reese (02:06) Yeah. Amber Autry (02:06) You I'd be like, ⁓ no. Melanie Reese (02:14) We did it! We made it happen! Liz (02:14) you College Is Fine Podcast (02:22) person to know in Nashville. It has helped me a lot with getting to know some of the other folks in town or resources in town. It's been so exciting. And Amber, I'm so excited to meet you. All I know about you so far is that you're a comedian and you do not live in Tulsa, even though, are you joining us from Tulsa? Melanie Reese (02:24) Thank you. Hehehehehe Amber Autry (02:37) Yeah, that second part is really important. Like if we could just... Yeah, I'm in Tulsa right now. I just did shows Wednesday and Thursday, but I'm going back home today. But Tulsa is pretty cool. Liz (02:39) You you College Is Fine Podcast (02:49) Yeah, I know. I feel like we think we know these places and we don't. Probably the same way people think they know college campuses and they don't till they go, right? You kind of, you have to like get a vibe. Melanie Reese (02:49) Yeah Amber Autry (02:52) No, no, I judged it. You my gosh, that's so, I went to University of Tennessee, Go Vols, and I really thought the exact, I was like, I don't wanna go here, it's all about sports. And it was, and I loved it. I didn't know anything about it, and I fell in love, so yeah. Liz (03:00) you College Is Fine Podcast (03:02) Mm-hmm. Liz (03:09) Mmm. College Is Fine Podcast (03:10) Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Do you guys want to talk a little bit about what I love about your podcast? just for our listeners who might not know about it, tell us maybe where it started and what the gist is, what the main goal is. Liz (03:13) you you Amber Autry (03:23) I can tell how it started and then Melanie you have such a beautiful way with words you can tell what our goal is. ⁓ How it started is I've been doing comedy for a while and I had a problem with reassurance seeking. So after every show, I mean I've been doing this my whole life, after every show when I was little too, I would need the people I love to tell me I did a good job and I didn't mess up. And it just came to a head. Melanie Reese (03:27) Okay. Okay. College Is Fine Podcast (03:30) You Amber Autry (03:51) where I was like, this is driving me and all my loved ones insane and I have to choose between quitting or going to therapy and fixing this or I won't be able to do this for the rest of my life and I want to. So I chose to go to therapy and I did exposure therapy on ⁓ reassurance seeking. like my therapist would not let me, like I would ask my family and friends and they had a script to be like, you're reassurance seeking, we can't help you here. Melanie Reese (04:07) Mm. Hmm. College Is Fine Podcast (04:09) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Amber Autry (04:18) And it helped me so much. And once you start healing, you start noticing the people around you who aren't. And being around comics, it's like, there's a lot of joy there, but for themselves, it's such a raw, personal thing to put yourself out on stage. There's a lot of self-deprecation in that, or there can be. So I was like, how do I get these comics into therapy? Melanie Reese (04:35) Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (04:36) Mm-hmm. Amber Autry (04:42) ⁓ like I did so I can help them. I was like I trick them. I start a podcast because every comic wants to be on a podcast. I mean literally they'll go on anyone. It really doesn't matter. yeah literally just hit them up. Yeah that's how they got me to Tulsa. So I just emailed. Liz (04:47) You College Is Fine Podcast (04:47) ⁓ yeah. Liz (04:52) hence why Amber's here. Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (04:54) Yeah. Melanie Reese (05:00) You Amber Autry (05:02) I just Googled Trauma Therapy of Nashville and that's Melanie's business name. And so I called her and I was like, you want to be on this podcast? And she was like, yeah, I'll be a guest. I'm like, no, be my cohost forever. And she was like, okay. College Is Fine Podcast (05:12) It works, when you know, know. Yeah. Amber Autry (05:14) my gosh, was like Kizmet, like the moment we met we were like, yeah. Melanie Reese (05:16) Yeah, we College Is Fine Podcast (05:18) Mm-hmm. Melanie Reese (05:19) met for coffee and I was like, I think we told each other we loved each other when we left. was just we just were instant. Yeah, soul connection. Yeah. Amber Autry (05:24) Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (05:25) Aww. Amber Autry (05:28) Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (05:28) Liz, you have not ever said I love you. Well, I love you too. Liz (05:30) I know, I love you Sarah. I know we haven't. Amber Autry (05:33) She was surprised it was your birthday today. She was like, shut up. It's your birthday and that's your boyfriend? I'm like, OK, keep the mystery alive. Yeah. ⁓ College Is Fine Podcast (05:38) Do you even know me? Melanie Reese (05:40) Hehehehehe Liz (05:42) Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (05:43) You have a boyfriend and it's your birthday? was like both are true. Melanie Reese (05:51) You College Is Fine Podcast (05:51) Listen, I'm like rocking new single life. If anything, Liz, she's just trying to stay on her toes. It changes every day. Liz (05:52) I mean, I mean... Melanie Reese (05:57) You Liz (05:57) The amount that we talk about things that are, like we never have time to kind of catch up personally. So I'm really grateful that there were some tech issues in the beginning, because I really got some important details about your life. Okay, so let's talk a little bit about, you know, one of the reasons why you're even here and we're so grateful that you're both here is. College Is Fine Podcast (06:04) Yeah. Amber Autry (06:06) Yeah. Melanie Reese (06:09) Hehehehehe College Is Fine Podcast (06:10) Yeah. Liz (06:21) thinking about the difference between standard therapy, right? And things that could be therapeutic that we might not traditionally think are therapeutic. Comedy, storytelling, other things. So, and maybe these are some of the things you talk about on your podcast, right? That I'm grateful, know, Amber, you talking about both Sarah and I are exposure therapists. So I'm always grateful to hear about somebody who's had a good experience in cognitive behavioral therapy and can talk about that. But even though my couch looks really great back there, I know if you guys can see it, a lot of people are not into the idea of maybe some traditional standard therapy. And I'm always thinking about, are a lot of things that are, I have a beginner's mind, there are things that maybe I don't know that could be therapeutic. talk a little bit about that, anything I've said about humor, it's role or, yeah. Amber Autry (07:12) Melanie, do you wanna go? Melanie Reese (07:13) Sure. Well, I think that when you said the difference between therapy and then things that are therapeutic, I would say, you know, therapy is normally going to be like you said, it's going to be with a trained therapist. It's going to be specific about your, you know, something comes up in life and you seek therapy out just like Amber did. And you're going to have goals and set those, but therapeutic really anything goes. If it's, up to the person to decide. And so that's the fun part of exploring maybe with a client or someone is like, what feels good to you, what lights you up. So that can be comedy, storytelling, music, nature, art, ⁓ any of those things that just helps us tap into like joy. College Is Fine Podcast (07:35) Mm-hmm. Liz (07:37) Mm. Melanie Reese (07:51) and perspective and connection with others. That's not a replacement, but it is a really powerful companion. Any of these therapeutic experiences we may have. it can be, we see yoga and sound baths and all those things, but it really can be just sitting outside and having a cup of tea on your back porch. There can be so many different things. Liz (07:51) Mm-hmm. College Is Fine Podcast (07:51) Yeah. Yeah, I love that. Right. I do think sometimes, especially with certain words that get taken into the social media verse where it becomes saturated. So you hear words like mindfulness or self care and people, you know, some people are really all about those things. But then I've noticed if I start to mention things like mindfulness or breathing or self care, my sessions, I can get a lot of eye rolls and understandably because people like, ⁓ come on now, you know. Melanie Reese (08:19) Ahem. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right. College Is Fine Podcast (08:35) But I love the idea that like it could be, yeah, laughing with friends. It could be having a cup of tea. It doesn't have to be some like journaling or something that people typically see with like like light music in the background and the pretty journal. No, it can be anything. ⁓ So we thought we'd switch it up a little bit and say, you know, so Melanie, I know that you probably think about a lot of serious topics as we all do in our jobs. You hear a lot of serious stories and Amber, you're probably laughing a lot. We can imagine. Melanie Reese (08:51) You College Is Fine Podcast (09:02) with comedy, so we thought we'd switch it up though and say, Amber, what's the most serious therapeutic thing you've had to deal with as a comedian or within your comedy shows? Yeah, for the listeners, she is looking at us and she is giving us the side eye. She is very upset with that question. Melanie Reese (09:04) . Liz (09:12) You Amber Autry (09:14) You okay, I I've got two one for myself and then one from the audience so One for myself I used to do this joke about How I looked I don't even remember it but it killed but then my But then my therapist right and this therapist do this you think you're like College Is Fine Podcast (09:30) Hahaha. Liz (09:31) you Amber Autry (09:37) I'm having the best day. I don't even need therapy. And then your therapist would be like, what about this? And you're like, you got me. Exactly. I'm like, did that on purpose. I was talking about not being confident in my looks. And then somehow the joke got brought up and she was like, is that a joke that you should, like, where's that coming from? And I was like, leave my jokes alone. It's crushing. I need that. And she's like, okay. College Is Fine Podcast (09:41) You're like, son of a bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's ringing in the bills. Amber Autry (10:03) Right. She was like, well, you can keep telling it. I'm just asking you to like explore, like look into where that's coming from. And then I went home like, damn it. I've lost the joke, but it was really interesting. And that's, you know, sometimes a lot of times that is how you process things, but being in the thick of not being confident and doing that joke, I was like, Ooh, am I ready to tell that joke? ⁓ and now I can't even remember it, but Liz (10:10) Give College Is Fine Podcast (10:13) Yeah. Yeah. Mmm. Amber Autry (10:29) ⁓ that was College Is Fine Podcast (10:29) Other jokes came into your life. Amber Autry (10:31) exactly. ⁓ and then with the audience, this has been so like, my audience is so wonderful. They're just such great people. ⁓ and usually in the meet and greet lines, they're like, my God, we have so much time to that. But I've been getting a lot of like, people will come up to me with tears in their eyes and they're like, you don't know what you've gotten me through. ⁓ I'm not going to cry, but just keep being yourself. Like, Melanie Reese (10:37) Mm hmm. College Is Fine Podcast (10:48) Aww. Liz (10:52) you College Is Fine Podcast (10:56) Aww. Amber Autry (10:56) For an hour, that person forgot about something that is making them, like, they're holding back tears and I'm like, man, that happened with just me being myself. Like, I answered a calling or I was myself and it permeated into that person's life in a positive way. And that is just, that's like a therapeutic moment to me, you know, when I can hold their hands and be like, I've been through hard things too, like, I love you and. Melanie Reese (11:00) Yeah. Mm hmm. College Is Fine Podcast (11:06) Yeah. For sure. Liz (11:19) Mmm. College Is Fine Podcast (11:25) ⁓ wow. Amber Autry (11:25) We can just have that moment together. It's really nice. Melanie Reese (11:27) Yeah. Okay. College Is Fine Podcast (11:28) That's lovely. mean, think, sorry, I keep on hopping in, but a lot of times I think about who in our lives are, who are in our lives are therapeutic. You know, like they're maybe a person isn't ready for therapy yet or has a therapist, right? But they only see them what an hour a week and we got a lot more hours and between that time. It's like, there's so many people, I think to me who give me something important. Right. ⁓ And so I always am trying to think about who are kind of being mini therapists, right. For us throughout the week, not that we should rely on one person for that necessarily, but I love the idea that people have been able to hear you with it, whether it's through the podcast and you bringing mental health into that conversation and you tricking your friends into coming in and talking about their hard things or yeah, I just, I. Amber Autry (12:00) Please. you Melanie Reese (12:13) Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (12:18) That's so cool. I'm glad that people are sharing that with you so that you can know you're impacting people. right, so Melanie, yeah, right. I'm always grateful when people say thank you because you're like, well, you don't assume you're helping anybody, right? ⁓ Melanie, what is the funniest thing that has happened in your therapy office, in your trauma work? What's just a a real hilarious story you have for us? Amber Autry (12:23) Me too, it's really nice. Liz (12:30) Right, right. Melanie Reese (12:35) Yeah. Liz (12:40) You Melanie Reese (12:43) There's actually a lot of humor, I think in my room. Just my clients like it's it's a little relief button that can help us move through stuff. But to think about the funniest things, there's a few things that come to mind. And one was when I was an intern. My leg had fallen asleep and I didn't know it and I stood up to leave and I fell in. I was with a couple and I fell in their lap. College Is Fine Podcast (12:45) Mm-hmm. Liz (13:03) You Melanie Reese (13:07) Cause my leg was asleep. Like, I just said, it was like it happened in slow motion where I could feel my legs not working and I slowly in slow motion fell into their laps and they were just like, and I just was like, that is not part of this process. I'm very sorry. Um, but yeah, as an intern, was really funny just to that that happened. It was a funny story College Is Fine Podcast (13:10) Did you try to pass it off as you're like, this is part of the process? Let's see how you process this. Amber Autry (13:13) Hahaha! College Is Fine Podcast (13:22) I'm dying. Amber Autry (13:23) Whoa! College Is Fine Podcast (13:32) Yeah. Amber Autry (13:32) Yeah. Melanie Reese (13:33) But then I would say I have a therapy dog, Darcy, and this is just something that gets told a lot is my, there's another therapy dog in the office and Darcy had wandered in to that office and gotten a little bone and it was like a little wishbone kind of V-shaped. And she had brought it up into my office and I didn't realize it. And so a client gets there and a client had picked it up and handed it to Darcy and she started, you know, chewing on it. College Is Fine Podcast (13:47) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Liz (13:56) you College Is Fine Podcast (13:59) Mm-hmm. Melanie Reese (13:59) And it got wedged behind her K-9 teeth. And then we didn't know what to do. It wasn't funny at the time, but looking back, but she kept like getting her paw and trying to like get the bone off and it wouldn't. So then she just starts drooling everywhere. And we tried for like five minutes to wiggle it and it wouldn't happen. It could not come off. So I just said, I've got to take her to the vet. And so. College Is Fine Podcast (14:02) Mm-hmm Amber Autry (14:02) No. College Is Fine Podcast (14:14) Yeah Yeah. Melanie Reese (14:23) This luckily this is a client that has good boundaries, works with like works with animals. Like we we've been working together for a minute. And she was like, Do you want me to ride with you? So Darcy doesn't pull this off, you know, pull her teeth out. And I was like, Yes, please. And so she sat in the backseat with Darcy and we went the vet was like a few minutes from our office. But we went there, they put Darcy to sleep, got it off, woke her back up. And we got back to the office within the hour. Liz (14:25) ⁓ you College Is Fine Podcast (14:28) huh. Bye. Amber Autry (14:37) my god. College Is Fine Podcast (14:39) my gosh. Yeah. Melanie Reese (14:51) of the session. Yes, as I said, obviously, there's no charts for today, I should be paying you. But yeah, it was a funny that so we were like, no bones allowed in therapy space after So yeah, and she actually brought one. Yes, it was it was very funny. And she actually brought one up again this week from the office. And I was like, no, like grabbed it. And I was like, College Is Fine Podcast (14:51) my gosh, where you're like, I'm not gonna charge you for this. Amber Autry (14:51) my God. Yeah. ⁓ College Is Fine Podcast (14:57) You Amber Autry (14:59) Hahaha! College Is Fine Podcast (15:07) That could be on the episode, like an episode of Shrinking. Yeah. Yeah. Liz (15:04) ⁓ my gosh. That's so funny. Amber Autry (15:18) The same girl? ⁓ College Is Fine Podcast (15:18) Here! Amber Autry (15:19) I thought you meant the same girl. I was like, she's out to get you, That's crazy. Melanie Reese (15:21) No, no, no, same bone. No, no, the College Is Fine Podcast (15:21) I was like, she brought a She's not learning. Melanie Reese (15:24) bone again out of the office downstairs. We grabbed it really quick. But yeah, that would be the two things that stand out to me. Yeah. Amber Autry (15:27) my goodness. Liz (15:32) my goodness, I have to, can I share a quick story? I don't even know, Sarah, if you know this story about the craziest thing that's happened in my office. I might transition to our next question. So, Paige and I still see to this day who I love. I, one of the reasons why we started this podcast, I think teenagers and young adults, Melanie Reese (15:38) Hmm College Is Fine Podcast (15:38) What? Liz (15:46) are amazing. Like I just think they're, you know, that stage of life and kind of exploring themselves. So one time a patient who really did not want to come, like likes me now, but definitely at 14 hated me, showed up with a, showed up with a pillowcase, like in the waiting area. And I was like, I kept like thinking it was around Halloween. I'm like, are they going trick or treating? Like, what are they doing with this pillowcase? And they come in and they have a five foot Albanian python snake inside. Melanie Reese (15:57) Okay. College Is Fine Podcast (15:58) Mm-hmm. Melanie Reese (16:13) That would die. Liz (16:14) and said, and said, and said, College Is Fine Podcast (16:14) wait, you did tell me this. You did. Liz (16:19) and said, if you're going to make me do exposure therapy, I'm going to make you do exposure therapy. And I said, last time I checked, I'm in the Northeast and I don't live in Arizona. And I really don't think I need to be exposed to pythons. They're not in my habitat. Anyway, long. College Is Fine Podcast (16:22) hahahahah Melanie Reese (16:23) Ha ha! College Is Fine Podcast (16:32) Right? It's not really impairing my life that I... Amber Autry (16:36) Where did they get that thing? Liz (16:38) ⁓ it was their therapeutic support animal, of course. So. So we did the whole. Just up now. Love, love reptiles. I knew I knew of the reptile. I just didn't think it was coming to my office. And the thing, just a quick side note, in case anyone needs some education about snakes is that they get a little aggressive when they haven't gone to the bathroom in a while. And so mice, this snake. Melanie Reese (16:38) Ahem. College Is Fine Podcast (16:42) Yeah, did they buy it just to piss you off or do they already have this steak? Melanie Reese (16:46) Hahaha College Is Fine Podcast (16:51) Mmm. Mmm. Got it. Melanie Reese (16:58) What? College Is Fine Podcast (17:02) That's right. Liz (17:06) had not gone to the bathroom in a while, so it constantly was like going like this the whole session, right? I had to get on the, yeah, so anyway. College Is Fine Podcast (17:10) It was a constipated snake. Melanie Reese (17:11) ⁓ Amber Autry (17:13) Snakes go to the bathroom? I didn't even know that. What? College Is Fine Podcast (17:16) I guess I'm like, makes sense that snakes would, but I never thought about the process. Now I'm really gonna Google something later. Liz (17:19) So, Amber Autry (17:19) Hahaha Liz (17:22) so the whole time, like it was hungry because it has to go to the bathroom, make room, you know, but but but this story, this story to this day brings me so much laughter and joy, you know, and even even with this. Melanie Reese (17:26) Hmm College Is Fine Podcast (17:27) Hungry for therapists? Amber Autry (17:30) Hahaha! Melanie Reese (17:36) Yeah. Liz (17:39) has gotten me through some hard moments with them in terms of their experience and us being able to reflect back on it. It also reminds me that, again, I didn't think I had a snake phobia, but I really experienced fear and could feel what it was like for people in my office when they're approaching difficult things. And it's something I laugh about all the time still. Melanie Reese (17:42) Mm-hmm. College Is Fine Podcast (17:43) Mm-hmm. Melanie Reese (17:47) Thank Liz (18:01) So to pivot in that manner, can you think about how laughter has helped you through any difficult times and how you might use it as a therapeutic tool yourself? Amber Autry (18:10) Mmm. Melanie Reese (18:10) Yeah, I can jump in while you're thinking about yours, Amber. I would say our podcast, just in general, like came into my life. at a time my dad had passed away and just a lot of stuff for about a two year period was just going down in my life and where it was like I kind of forgot how to laugh for a while things were just there was just a lot of hard stuff for a long time. And then we started doing this and I just started like being in a therapy space and most of my friends are therapists like not that we're not funny but we're College Is Fine Podcast (18:30) Yeah. Amber Autry (18:30) Mm. You Melanie Reese (18:43) pretty serious in our conversations Liz (18:43) You College Is Fine Podcast (18:46) Yeah, the conversations get deep fast if you're around a bunch of psychologists. It's like we don't know the boundary, right? Melanie Reese (18:46) and. Liz (18:46) you Melanie Reese (18:50) Yes. Right. I mean, it's just how our brains work. And I love that about that type of personality. But when I started recording the podcast and being around Amber, it was a completely different energy than what I was used to being around. And my face and my stomach would hurt from laughing so much. And but I would feel so good, like after and I still do but it was like, it just came at a time in my life when College Is Fine Podcast (18:55) Yeah. Liz (19:11) Hmm. Melanie Reese (19:16) I needed to remember like how to laugh and that it was okay to laugh at things and that you can have this enormous amount of like pain and sadness and grief happening while also having fun and laughing because in those moments sometimes laughing feels wrong. And it just really helped welcome that back into my life. So that I think our podcast was like a huge part of helping me through a really hard time. And keeps me going now. Yeah. Liz (19:19) Mmm, yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (19:19) Yeah. Liz (19:25) Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (19:31) All right. Amber Autry (19:31) Mm. College Is Fine Podcast (19:34) Uh-huh. I love that. Amber Autry (19:40) That's so nice. I know same girl. That's so nice. What came up for me is I have a family member who's sick right now and my fiance is like helping me take care of them and we just went to see them and it was like not a good day. But the whole way back I was like sobbing and then we would Liz (19:44) You Melanie Reese (19:55) You College Is Fine Podcast (20:01) Hmm. Amber Autry (20:02) think of something funny about what just happened and we would laugh and then I'd go back to sobbing and in my head I was like, my God, like life is such a both and with that, like I'm literally sobbing and then like laughing for a little bit and then being like, but this I was just so grateful to have him in that moment. Cause I know he's like, when do I make a joke? I know he's like treading lightly. Liz (20:11) Mm-hmm College Is Fine Podcast (20:12) Yeah, yeah. Melanie Reese (20:18) You College Is Fine Podcast (20:24) Right. Amber Autry (20:26) But it was just such an interesting thing to experience of like, I am so sad right now, but also like, things are a little funny too. Melanie Reese (20:26) You Liz (20:29) Hmm. College Is Fine Podcast (20:32) Yeah, yeah. Melanie Reese (20:33) You Liz (20:34) You College Is Fine Podcast (20:34) Well, do you guys, I don't want to ask you guys how old you are. And since it's my birthday today, I will not be telling you how old I am. I'm sorry. ⁓ But I, yes, yes. Well, I'd like to stay legal age. I'd like to stay legal age. I'm 21. ⁓ So, but I remember when 9-11 happened. I was living in New York and Saturday Night Live was coming on probably on like, Liz (20:41) you Amber Autry (20:42) We're all 17. Liz (20:44) We're going to college. Yeah. Melanie Reese (20:45) No. Amber Autry (20:47) Yeah. Okay, cool. Melanie Reese (21:10) You College Is Fine Podcast (20:59) September 14th or something. And Rudy Giuliani, the mayor at the time, who wasn't as bat shit crazy as he is now, I don't think, or he was hiding it better, came on and said, ⁓ and they had like all these firemen on, or firefighters on who had been in first responders, et It was a really serious moment. And then Lorne Michaels came out and said, can we be funny? He had to get permission from the mayor, right? to be funny and Rudy said, I think we all need that. Yes, can we be funny? And I also noticed around that time, everyone's like, well, what's going to happen to comedy? And you started hearing these stories or news articles about everyone started watching Friends like crazy. Viewership of just that comic relief came up so much. I do think there's some sort of antidote to it. And one of the things ⁓ that the type of therapy that I practice and Liz, Melanie Reese (21:24) Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Amber Autry (21:27) Mm. you ⁓ College Is Fine Podcast (21:50) Liz does too as well, but it's sort of my main bread and butter is acceptance and commitment therapy. And a big piece of that, just to get kind of boring for a second, is ⁓ unhooking from our thoughts, sort of like taking our thoughts and not so much as fact, but as just a part of our human process. They come and go. We have 80 to 90,000 thoughts a day. can't, know, some of them we get really connected to as being factual or important, even though they're just the same, same level as Liz (21:58) You Melanie Reese (22:09) . Liz (22:18) Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (22:18) you know, the random quirky thoughts we have, or the like, I need to go to the grocery store, right? Like they all can, we can have a different relationship to our thoughts if we kind of see them from a distance. And so unhooking is the word that I use with my clients a lot about that. Like how can we unhook from these stories or these thoughts or these images sometimes or, and so humor, if we're able to laugh at or with or turn funny things or turn our thoughts into some kind of a funny thing. Melanie Reese (22:30) Mm hmm. Okay. College Is Fine Podcast (22:44) It actually is a really good way to unhook from the thought. that's actually using humor as a therapeutic technique that we know works well to shift away from some of the thoughts we have. And one of the best examples I have is I was working with this person, and this is relevant to the story, with the most glorious head of hair. And he was a young man, I say 24, was bright, had everything going for him, but he had some obsessive compulsive, he had some obsessive thoughts, intrusive thoughts. Liz (23:01) you College Is Fine Podcast (23:12) And one of the ones that popped up out of the blue was that he was balding, that he was not going to bald one day, but he was currently in the active stage of balding. This man, again, the most glorious head of hair you've ever seen. But had already been to the dermatologist and made sure to get that checked, kind of that reassurance seeking, right? Like I'm going to go, I'm going to ask if I'm balding. And he was looking in the mirror and kind of noticing patches. But I was like, you're like pulling your hair out trying to figure out if you're balding, dude. Like, it's not helpful. Amber Autry (23:30) Mm-hmm. Liz (23:37) you College Is Fine Podcast (23:39) And so we said, how can we use humor here? And he decided, I don't know for our listeners if they've ever listened to South Park with that Cartman voice. We just said, all how can we just be silly about this? This thought just came up. You haven't had it for a while. Let's just throw something at it and see if it sticks. So we agreed that he would say the I'm balding thought in the Cartman voice. Any time it came up, he would repeat it in the Cartman voice. And he was like, Melanie Reese (23:53) You You Liz (24:01) you Sarah, you, can you, can you try for Amber Autry (24:04) Hehehe Liz (24:07) us? I'd really like to hear your Cartman voice. College Is Fine Podcast (24:07) Well, I can only say there's... ⁓ shoot. ⁓ MUM! GIVE ME SOME CHEESY POOFS! ⁓ Melanie Reese (24:13) Ha Ha College Is Fine Podcast (24:17) All right, I'm not a great voiceover artist, he just... Jeezy poofs! Liz (24:22) I can't wait to get Canva in a little bit and I'm gonna put Cartman with your face. College Is Fine Podcast (24:26) No! No, God. Damn you, Liz. Damn you, Liz Seidler. You got me backed in a corner. Can my present be that you don't do that? So, and he came back the next week and he's like, I've never laughed so hard. I can't take that voice seriously. And it doesn't work that easily every time, but honestly, he's just like, I can't even take it seriously. He's like. Melanie Reese (24:28) hahahahah Liz (24:29) on the image. Happy birthday. Amber Autry (24:38) ⁓ College Is Fine Podcast (24:47) All right, that thought's done. It was just the ability to kind of turn it into something humorous, but it was a therapeutic technique, right? But I also know that there are times where that like laughter through tears thing is also really important because that both and part of life, like the richest parts of our life are also happening at the same time as the funniest parts. Like we don't get to choose what lane to be in all the time. ⁓ So I know we've talked a lot about Melanie Reese (24:50) Yeah. Mm-hmm. Amber Autry (24:54) I love that. Melanie Reese (25:08) Okay. Yeah. Amber Autry (25:12) Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (25:15) you know, a lot about humor, a lot about your roles with it. But I think that this idea of comic relief, right? There's relief from therapeutic symptoms and there's also comic relief. So we've had a lot of questions for you, but if you have any other sense of how that idea of comic relief or any, any episodes of your podcast where you feel like the opposite has been true or maybe people use too much humor and not enough. Liz (25:25) you Melanie Reese (25:31) Mm-hmm. Liz (25:36) Mm-hmm. College Is Fine Podcast (25:42) And again, for the audience, Amber is widening her Not comedians, right? When is it Melanie Reese (25:44) You Amber Autry (25:44) You You ⁓ College Is Fine Podcast (25:46) maybe time to turn the humor down a notch? Amber Autry (25:50) man. Go ahead, Mel. No, no, I feel the opposite. And even more so since doing the podcast. I it's very it's sometimes when I find a comic that I can have a serious conversation with, we're immediately best friends because I'm like, OK, cool, we can talk. It's so rare to find a comic that can go below the surface. Melanie, go ahead, because I know you've been in the room with a couple of us. College Is Fine Podcast (25:51) Amber's like, never, there's never a good time. Keep laughing, folks. Melanie Reese (25:57) Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (26:05) Yeah. Hmm. Melanie Reese (26:15) It was a was a shift for me honestly when I first started doing the podcast to be a therapist in the room with two comedians The energy is completely different and and amber you've noticed when we've had maybe Somewhat like a healer type, you know person in the room when you're the only comedian in the room It just is very different and I will say our guests they do we've had some that just that College Is Fine Podcast (26:16) Hahaha Amber Autry (26:19) Ha! Liz (26:19) you Amber Autry (26:25) You Mm-hmm. Melanie Reese (26:42) You can just tell they just aren't wanting to go deep. We have some that from our perspective didn't seem like it went deep, but it felt really deep for them. It just, it just says that's where they are with, with themselves. And then we do have some that will really go there and maybe they weren't expecting, but when we try and we offer, the, to take the side road, they'll, they'll take it with us. And I really appreciate that. so it's been really, really cool to see. College Is Fine Podcast (26:50) Mm-hmm. Melanie Reese (27:09) ⁓ But something, go ahead. Well, I wanted to talk about a little bit around like what is actually happening in the body when we laugh. There's a very new, I'm always gonna look at the neurological part of it. I'm very like whole body holistic trauma work. So the nervous system is always involved. And so when we are ⁓ stressed, depressed, our nervous system gets stuck in that fight, or freeze. So College Is Fine Podcast (27:09) Yeah. Liz (27:11) Yeah. No, go Melanie. Sorry. College Is Fine Podcast (27:28) Mm-hmm. Melanie Reese (27:35) laughter acts like a reset button a lot of times. We do sometimes have we default to laughter when we don't know what we're feeling. So you got to be careful not to laugh with comedians in session too much, because that's their natural default for expressing their emotions. so even when they're in clients that aren't comedians do this too, but when they just talk about something there, there's just a lot of laughter that goes along with it. They're not laughing because it's funny. It's just, don't know what they feel yet. And so that's really important to name. College Is Fine Podcast (28:00) Mm-hmm. Liz (28:01) Mmm. Melanie Reese (28:03) that we all do it in our everyday conversations too. this laughter acts like that reset button is it activates our parasympathetic nervous system. So our rest and digest state. It also helps lower our cortisol, which is our stress hormone and our blood pressure. So there's a lot of neurological stuff happening in the body. And so laughter signals, we're safe to, we're safe enough to play and have fun right now. And our bodies need to, it's, College Is Fine Podcast (28:25) Hmm. Mm-hmm. Melanie Reese (28:29) you know, our nervous system always say it's very primal. It's constantly scanning for what's safe and what's not. so laughter is a really beautiful like segue into fun and play as a signal to our nervous system. So it speaks directly to our nervous system. And I really like that. Yeah. And we, yeah. And it releases all the feel good chemicals. So it's kind of like an antidepressant for our body that we naturally make. So there's just a really good neurological point. Liz (28:38) Mm-hmm. Amber Autry (28:44) so nice it's really nice College Is Fine Podcast (28:44) I love that. That's so nice. Liz (28:49) Mm-hmm Amber Autry (28:51) Mmm. Melanie Reese (28:56) of laughter and why it goes so well with when we were talking about hard stuff and going through hard stuff. Yeah. Liz (29:03) Right, Amber Autry (29:03) nice. College Is Fine Podcast (29:04) know we're short on time, but I also could talk to y'all all day long. This is so the kind of yin yang of going back and forth and thinking about not only, mean, I was so geeking out when you were talking about the nervous system, Melanie. I was like, yeah, gimme it. But this also, the combination of being able to have some lightness and levity, but also anchored into some real work is so exciting. And I also love how Amber said, Liz (29:17) you Amber Autry (29:18) Hahaha Thank College Is Fine Podcast (29:29) You know, yeah, Melanie, you are really good at kind of just coming in with that sneak attack. They don't even see you coming. That stealth help there. I am stealth. Instead of self-help, it's stealth help. Melanie Reese (29:37) Yeah. Amber Autry (29:37) Also. Liz (29:40) you Melanie Reese (29:40) Well, I think we stay so busy. Yeah, I think I think the reason why it seems like I mean, you do have there's a there's a skill to it. But also feel like when we're getting people when you sit down and slow down and create space for the opportunity to check in with what's going on with yourself. We're just providing opportunity for people to do that. And so they're they're more willing when they just slow down. It's kind of like Liz (29:49) Mm-hmm. Amber Autry (29:58) Mm-hmm. Liz (30:02) Bye. College Is Fine Podcast (30:06) Right. Amber Autry (30:06) Yeah. Melanie Reese (30:07) Yeah. Yeah. Liz (30:10) Well, know, Sarah and I in our podcast, we talk a lot about we're hoping college students can, you know, we talk a lot about balance, right, and being able to kind of find a middle path between things and what. Melanie Reese (30:17) Ahem. Liz (30:21) a great example your podcast is around that, you know, like how to really ⁓ be vulnerable and have fun and use humor like I as a coping strategy, right? Like how you're talking about and understanding how our emotions work. like I said, guys, from the. Melanie Reese (30:25) Thank you. Liz (30:37) minute we started until now, I've smiled enough neurologically that I'm depositing a lot of positive emotions, you know, in my emotional savings account. And we're so lucky that you guys were able to come on. Thank you so much. Melanie Reese (30:41) Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (30:43) Ha ha ha ha. Amber Autry (30:44) No! College Is Fine Podcast (30:50) Yes, thank you. Melanie Reese (30:50) Yeah, thanks for having us. Amber Autry (30:51) cool, can I say something to the college kids real quick? Liz (30:53) yes. College Is Fine Podcast (30:54) please do. Amber Autry (30:55) It's really, it's not that serious. just want to say, I just remember, I mean, I was a theater major, so I guess take that with what you will. But it's like, I just remember, it's kind of like high school. know, I drive by my high school now and I'm like, my God, I thought that was my whole world. Like that was everything. And then I got out and I was like, the world's bigger. The same as with college. I feel like I forgot that because I was like, I'm an adult now. College Is Fine Podcast (30:58) Hahaha! Melanie Reese (30:59) You Liz (31:01) You I know. Yeah. College Is Fine Podcast (31:15) Yeah. Melanie Reese (31:15) Yeah. Yes. Amber Autry (31:23) I have to do, like, this is my whole life. But it's really not, dude. People get out of college and they forget that they made an F or that that teacher was mean or even that they majored in something that they didn't want to do. Like, so just really just, just get through it. Enjoy, meet cool people. Yeah, like don't take it so seriously, bro. You're going to be fine and find a good therapist. College Is Fine Podcast (31:29) Yeah. Melanie Reese (31:36) Hang in there. College Is Fine Podcast (31:41) I do love that. Melanie Reese (31:42) Yeah, and when it gets serious, come see us at Trauma Therapy in Nashville. If you're downtown or Belmont area, we're right over there, ⁓ tucked in with Vandy. Liz (31:43) you College Is Fine Podcast (31:46) Right? Amber Autry (31:46) Yeah! College Is Fine Podcast (31:51) right over there. Yeah. No, I love that. And you're right. It's like it's four years of a very long life. Yeah, for sure. Well, we just think you all are the best. We'll make sure that your podcast is another resource for them to reset the stress button. ⁓ And I'm just so glad to meet y'all. And hopefully when we're not in the podcast, you'll come hang out with me in Nashville. That'd be nice. Thanks. I need friends. Give me some friends. Amber Autry (31:59) Yeah. Melanie Reese (31:59) Yeah. Liz (31:59) Right, right, right. Melanie Reese (32:06) Thank you. Thank you. Absolutely. ⁓ Amber Autry (32:15) Let's go! Yeah, come to my show! College Is Fine Podcast (32:18) I'm gonna, Amber, of course I'm gonna come to your show. I'm gonna be in the like, meet and greet line, giving you hugs. I'll cry, I'll probably cry. Yeah, if I'm not feeling sad, I'll do something to make me cry. I promise there will be tears. Amber Autry (32:24) Yay, crying. Melanie Reese (32:25) I'm here for it. Amber Autry (32:28) yeah, and if they're... Perfect. Liz (32:33) my gosh, Amber is going to meet your boyfriend before I do. ⁓ Amber Autry (32:36) ⁓ Are we surprised? Melanie Reese (32:37) I'm College Is Fine Podcast (32:37) my god, that's true. That's true. I'll probably have a different one by then, Liz. Just stay up to date. I'll be like, don't worry about listening to that episode. Amber Autry (32:42) my god, he's in the car! I also want to say, if your listeners need laughter, they can follow me at AmberOttrigComedy on all platforms. Come on over here and laugh. And I really appreciate you guys. Liz (32:57) Yes. College Is Fine Podcast (32:57) ⁓ yes, absolutely. Liz (33:01) one clue. College Is Fine Podcast (33:02) No, we appreciate you all. so glad that we found our little podcast named Doppelganger. And we'll have you back on. We'll have you back on for sure. All right. Melanie Reese (33:03) Yeah. Amber Autry (33:08) Yeah, that'd be great. Melanie Reese (33:08) Hahaha Love it. Well, thank you all. Amber Autry (33:13) Thank you. Bye. Liz (33:13) Bye guys.