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Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just- Beyond Illusion: Living with Afterthought 7.29.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

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  On page 299, do you try to emphasize and drive home this
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  concept that much of our life is an illusion and a person wants
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  to, you know, get themselves some degree of self-control,
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  which is going pretty shoot and sang themselves.
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  I don't I don't need to be involved and obsessable
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  material. Step one is to see these things,
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  who they are, all the excitement and the things, the color, the
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  glitch, the glamour, the advertisements.
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  It's all an illusion. It's all people painting a
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  picture a certain way to pull us in.
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  That was true them and it's 1000 times more true today because
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  the entire world is trying to pull us in.
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  How do they get us to buy anything?
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  How do they get us to like a certain product?
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  How do they get as exciting as and the end was real.
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  The first step is to lure you in.
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  We're not luring you in. I never get you interested in
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  the first place. And that that part is based on
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  the eyes, based on the illusion, and that a person has to realize
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  and understand. If I'm being pulled in because
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  of what I'm seeing, that means this element of Demyon if my
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  main attraction in my eyes, not because my eyes are seeing the
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  truth, it's rather because my eyes are seeing something in a
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  certain light that's pulling me in.
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  If you're based on Demyon, you know that Demyon is all
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  sketched. Demyon is imagination, and you
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  have to recognize imagination, what it is, which is completely
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  false. Without being the case.
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  You're less pulling, less attracted into all the things
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  and material. OK now thank you and I had a
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  thank you. I have a drop off a little more
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  OK again he writes on 299 on the bottom.
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  This is the mainly more the person needs to teach himself
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  like here to recognize the whole shot that time of him Haile
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  Vishikam to force of regarding certain material attractions and
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  realize how weak they are and fake they are Ajami Lavim aspa.
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  Therefore, you'll naturally be turned off by these things, but
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  like should be another show how many though it won't be
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  difficult to avoid them. I'll give you an example.
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  You make a product any product that you make.
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  Now you see people going crazy over it.
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  You can't understand it and look almost crazy people because
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  they're going nuts over something that you know the
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  back, you know the background, you know what it's made-up, you
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  know the material, you know it's nothing understanding is true
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  with any area of life. You recognize how I meant how
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  imaginative these things are and how much they're really trying
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  to pull your eyes. Then you'll be able to see them
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  for who they are. For example, the enjoyment of
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  food, who you turn Muhash and Murgash.
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  It's a classic example of a tangible and palpable example.
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  But still a guy loves food. Guy has a dairy problem, but he
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  happens to like eating dairy. He goes ahead, he has yogurt and
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  his stomach kills. Has yogurt and his stomach kills
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  right beforehand, he's in the mood right afterwards, he
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  regrets it, right? And even if his stomach doesn't
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  kill, it is what it is. And he goes, that's it.
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  So this is an example, clear example of how our eyes and our
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  an advanced mindset, you can call it eyes, you can call it
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  excitement. Whatever you want to call it is
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  so much larger than the reality. What is the size of the food,
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  the size of your throat? That's it.
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  The moment it goes down, you've got its existence never existed.
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  Equally food, whatever food you eat, it makes no difference if
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  you had awesome food or bland food.
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  Equally for 'cause you can't and you have seen a libo akola imara
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  beam shahrin avola Mahmud akrito.
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  Add to that even the possible illnesses that come from bad
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  food or the heaviness a person feels.
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  You go to a restaurant. It happens to me every time I go
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  to a restaurant. The food tastes great when I
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  meant by the time I'm in the car, my time in the car, I feel
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  funny every time. All these different things come
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  from the fumes and the excessive eating and all these things here
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  they are called the vada. We had no real interest if our
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  mind was thinking after the time, the way we think.
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  If our mind beforehand, you realize the approach of after
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  the fact, we have no interest que Rancho tovato en not tova
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  because it's good, it's not a real good, especially if it's
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  unhealthy and it's bad, it's definitely bad.
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  Clear case a guy eats unhealthy foods, fattening foods
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  beforehand, he's going for it. Afterwards he feels funny.
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  As a classic example of this concept where our eyes, our
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  generative poach, our looking forward is made-up of an
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  imaginatory, imaginative look. It's all false.
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  It's all being pulled in. Now people often take this to an
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  extreme and they definitely become a cynics and very simple
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  and very anti any enjoyment. It's not the point.
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  The point is there is no way logically that I can be pulled
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  in. I can be drawn in, which means
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  drawn in means if you think about all the excitement that
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  you have in advance of things, in advance of something, you go
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  over the top right? You spend money you don't have
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  or you know, you overspend. We waste a lot of time preparing
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  for something. We, our mind is constantly on
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  that thing. Let's say it's a vacation right
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  in advance of the vacation, I spend a lot of time planning,
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  spend a lot of money on it. Your mind is on it all the time.
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  You think you might in the comments in the comments going
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  to come Now, if you're realize this idea at the advanced
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  approach is based on the eyes and eyes based on the
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  imagination and the imagination is pulling us in, then all the
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  excess that we put into that would not be worth it.
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  And all the extra time and effort and money that we put
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  into that thing would not be worth it.
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  Now, it doesn't mean every vacation was a waste of time.
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  Doesn't mean that. But understand why are you going
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  on vacation for the simple only reason that you need to relax
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  your time with your family. That's it.
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  You're not going on vacation because it's going to be the be
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  all end all. No, you're not going on vacation
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  because that excitement of that moment is worth it all.
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  Absolutely not. You're going because of the
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  reasons that you feel after the fact.
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  The reasons you feel at the vacation are it was good to get
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  away. It was good to have found my
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  family. It was good to relax and unwind.
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  Those are the reasons after. Those are the reasons before.
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  The same is true at the restaurant.
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  The reason you go out to eat. It's good to spend time with
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  your wife. It's good feel like I'm not that
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  I prepare cooking with that day. It's good to have an outing,
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  whatever version and effect the outing has.
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  It's good to go out and then come back home.
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  There's something there. That's it.
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  That's the whole thing. Is that about oh, their steak
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  and oh, Oh my gosh, I got to get there.
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  I got to get to that spot. I know I have to be seen and why
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  all those other excess things are things that when the time is
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  over, they don't exist. So the beauty of this MI da is
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  to look at life in advance with the same approach that you know
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  you're going to have after the fact.
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  Same with vacation. Same with spending money on
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  something. As you know, a person spends a
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  crazy amount of money in a car and he's stretching himself a
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  little thin. OK, now imagine yourself two
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  months into having that car. It will go away.
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  The excitement will fade, right? Or ever someone else has it.
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  Whatever that moment is that the excitement fades.
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  Then you stood back and you say the advanced thing wasn't
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  necessary, and that has to be our approach.
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  It's an even, keeled level, heavy, heavy balance, normal,
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  careful approach. It avoids extra excitement.
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  It avoids extra excitement, but it also avoids excess connection
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  to these things. Because if I'm looking at these
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  attractions with the right front of mind, yes, I'm going to enjoy
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  them. We're meant to enjoy the entire
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  world. I'm going to enjoy them.
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  It's not going to consume my life and I won't ever have the
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  other negative effect, which is dependency, right?
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  Let's play this out. If a guy spreads himself thin on
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  vacation, it's a vacation and goes into that, right?
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  Any chance he's going to enjoy that vacation after it's over,
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  after the vacation's over and now he has to pay back those
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  people and work actually to pay back his loans.
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  He there's no chance it's any residue of enjoyment, right?
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  I don't think any person could have a split brain, which is I
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  enjoy the time off, but now I'm going to have to work extra
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  hours to pay that money back. No, not possible.
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  People like that, OK, it's a unique brain.
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  I can't live that way. I will not be able to enjoy
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  something if I'm now after the fact spending extra effort to
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  make money to pay that back. Right?
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  So then that means after the fact your mind, normal mind
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  leaves my mind. I'm calling myself, well normal.
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  After the bath your mind would be clear and say level headed.
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  That wasn't worth it. It'd be nice if in advance we
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  could drill into ourselves in our family and whatever the
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  thing answer. The fact is what we want to
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  think beforehand. And I think about this all the
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  time. People spend money on things
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  that they shouldn't spend and then they have something go on
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  in their family and they say to themselves, I'm sure whatever I
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  just experienced excitement was completely gone because of what
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  I'm dealing with now. It could be a a small thing or a
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  big thing, Whatever it is, it takes all my life and that
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  enjoyment was completely wiped away.
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  So now in advance, you can never know what's coming, but in
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  advance it'd be nice if you have a level head of mind.
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  Level head of mind, everything that you do that's enjoyable is
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  something that will last forever.
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  Which means taking a walk, peaceful, going out to eat for
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  the right reason, peaceful, going on vacation is the right
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  reason, peaceful, whatever it is, building something beautiful
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  for the right approach, 'cause I want my family to be by me.
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  The regular normal reasons, the regular normal mindsets, if
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  those are the logics in advance, you're going to do everything
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  right. If in advance you go a little
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  crazy and afterwards you come back to earth, there will be a
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  lot of mistakes done. You know the guy while he's
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  engaged, get super excited and super to you.
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  All right. Were you like that, Sammy?
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  No, when you're engaged, no extra to you.
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  What does that mean, actually? A long time, huh?
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  What does that mean? That means he's going to go an
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  extra mile for for his fiance. And he's like, no, I was way too
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  old. So too old.
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  OK, average age guy, especially even his young 20s, early 20s go
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  his EX1 because the advanced imagination of what's coming is
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  so exciting. It's filling him in afterwards
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  like we all do. You look back at those couples.
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  Of course, Hashem healthy marriages do we have we look
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  back at those couples and we look at them.
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  We look at them head over heels and yeah, you, you laugh a
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  little bit. You see them dating or you see
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  them walking together or you see them, I don't know whatever it
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  is, they're walking actually excited and he's not laughing.
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  He's not like like, you know, that's cute.
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  That was you exactly you look, but that is the difference
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  between the before and after. And it's great to have a very
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  healthy balanced life, but also realize in advance you don't
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  want to be silly. You know, there is not as silly
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  an engagement necessary because the girl needs a wife.
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  Happy life, right? Would it balance normal approach
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  for moderation? Everything's moderation, but
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  everything is the way you would think after the fact should be
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  the mindset beforehand. That's as simple as that.
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  So what's the residue? The the result of going out to
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  eat? What's the result residue for
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  you? You're sitting with your wife,
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  your family. It's nice.
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  Good. That's why we go out to you in
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  the 1st place. That's it.
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  Not because I want to be seen by that spot or I want to get to
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  that spot because I need to have this steak.
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  Now. Those reasons are silly.
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  Those reasons go out the window because next week, never mind,
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  we'll come up again. You won't even have the after
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  approach from last week. Instead, you'd be more focused
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  on I need the next steak or the next place or the more expensive
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  spot, etcetera, etcetera. That's all the advanced mind
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  that is the world of advertising at the same brain.
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  It's advanced, it's anticipation of it's excitement.
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  It's apparent for something to come out.
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  That's all a fake world and that pulls us in and then pulls us
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  down or as a balanced healthy mindset.
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  Yeah, we're excited, but we're excited because we're going to
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  have the feeling that will stay with us after the fact.
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  That's the concept. It's clear.
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  Have you? That's what if you're worth.
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  I'm gonna stop. We got here Sabe Mahabharim.
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  He says you're equally happy and full.
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  Whatever food you eat. Then we are 301.
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  He says he knew. I'll call it.
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  All these examples Vadai show the airports are done by the
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  People don't really want these things, Kevin.
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  People don't want the stomache. They don't want the headache.
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  They don't want the debt 'cause not really good.
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  It's true with food. It's true with all worldly
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  pleasures. Any worldly pleasures you know
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  of is temporary and at times the negative thing that's related to
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  these worldly pleasures are way worse.
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  It therefore will not make any sense.
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  The sum BA la sum a small basaka not at all the place itself in
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  danger or whatever. No temporary excitement is worth
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  the long term negative ramifications.
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  I can come from it. Visit Basu.
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  And this is the healthy approach to realizing in advance that I
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  want to have the balance approach I'll have after the
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  fact. OK, so I'll see this start with
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  this.