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Megan Miller: Intentionally Bold- How to Prioritize What Matters Most · The Bold Lounge

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: My name is Leigh Burgess and I will be your host.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: If you're anything like me, you love hearing inspiring stories of people who have gone on bold journeys and made a positive impact in the world.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: This podcast is all about those kinds of stories.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Every week, we'll hear from someone who has taken a leap or embarked on an extraordinary journey.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: In addition to hearing their stories, we'll also learn about their bold growth mindset that they use to make things happen.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Whether they face challenges or doubts along the way, they persisted and ultimately achieved their goals.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: These impactful stories will leave you feeling motivated and inspired to pursue your own bold journey.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I believe everyone has a bold story waiting to be freed.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Tune in and get ready to be inspired.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Today I have Megan Miller.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: She is a TEDx and global speaker, founder of the Intentional Living Method and international best-selling author.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: She's also the host of her own top-rated podcast, attention to Intention.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Through the Intentional Living Method, which she founded in 2021 with a 98% approval rating, megan has inspired thousands, including top leaders at Google, hilton and Cigna, to live a life built on connection, community and real-life conversations.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Mask down screen free and human first.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: She's on a mission to deliver the tangible tools that she needed for so long in her journey.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Exhaustion is not a status symbol and striving does not need to come from a place of validation.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Driving does not need to come from a place of validation.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Megan shares science-backed micro tools to guide audiences on how to reconnect to the person that can get lost in the busyness of life.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: You Welcome to the Bold Lounge.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: So so, so, freaking excited to have you here.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Girl, as you're talking, I'm just smiling from ear over to ear and you know what I'm thinking to myself.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I love this woman.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Look, I just I love you.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: I love what you represent.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: I love the women you inspire.
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I love to be in your tribe.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Here's to the women that we stand by our hype tribe and consciously curating that based on where we are.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love, standing by you.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it feels real.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I think that's the realness of you and kind of our interactions and just a little bit of how we connected, connected on LinkedIn, and then you know we like maybe sent something here or there, but one day you dropped just a message, a voice memo, into one of the DMS and it was one of those days like you know, we all have them.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Like it was just like a low day or something that happened where I just this wasn't in a good zone and I got your message and I was like man, I needed this today.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: So that's kind of how this started, so excited to have the conversation with you and to be able to share you with the world.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Thank you, my friend.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: I think there's such a message in that, like we are so busy right Doing all of the things and we can think of someone or see someone post the thing, and we're like I'll get to that, thinking that you need to write like this beautiful, one person soliloquy, and then you never do and there's just so much power in taking a beat, it doesn't need to be the most poetic thing to just say, hey, that really meant something, because you never know what the other person is going through.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: Right, yeah, everyone has those days right, and it's just the hearing of someone's voice too.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: I think the power of that voice memo, I think is something people don't always take into consideration.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Like you said, text and that kind of thing, that's great, but I think when you can just drop a note one, it's faster and I don't misspell anything that way.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Well, let's start with boldness, because you certainly have had your own bold journey.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: I would love to know what your definition of bold looks like.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: You know, I thought about that and here's what I think in this moment.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: One.
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: Here's the permission to change it in what you need Doesn't always need to look the same every day, and for me, in this moment, what that means is creating the space to hear myself, me, not what the world tells me I should do.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Be one, not what my husband, not what my family, not what I think I should do but me, and having the courage to act on it.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Nice and that's enough.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: So creating the space for yourself to hear yourself and probably to understand yourself and define potentially what you need at this moment.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Right, because it does vary, it does change.
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: I think our definition is a bold change as well, and it's not selfish to be thinking about you, which is something I had to work on.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: So I love that definition for a lot of reasons.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: You know what I love that?
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: You just said it took me a long time.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: That that's not selfish.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: You know what it took me so long to learn?
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Here's to the lessons that if a decision feels right to me, that's enough.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: It doesn't need to make sense to anybody else.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: For so long I was programmed and I didn't even realize this to be this, this.
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: We hear it all the time and sometimes these words lose meaning as we hear them so much.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: But this, people pleaser, I was so embedded in it, I didn't even know it, that I would make decisions based on what I thought you wanted me to be and do and act, and then just lost myself in all of it.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's no fun.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: No, that's where the resentment builds me.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the resentment and the feeling.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: I assume that can feel sad at times because you're not, you know, doing what you want to do, and just the mental health of it all isn't good you know what I never realized?
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: the exhaustion of it yeah because it is a constant mask and it's a constant dance yeah and you are constantly striving for it.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: And I think, lady, you know and I hear this from women all the time and I was that woman, I didn't even realize it, I am curious if you do too.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: I think the hardest question for any of us to answer, especially as women, because we were taught to be the good student, good daughter, good wife, good mother, good employee, all the things is to really sit with.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: What do I want?
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you really want?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: What do you really want?
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Like, you know, I think people it's almost like when you say how are you?
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Oh, I'm good, I'm like, are you really?
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: You know, and it's that second follow-up that I'm always like really, huh, well, I saw this and I saw that and you just don't seem yourself or I'm not sure that is what I'm seeing, but maybe i'm'm off, you know, you tell me, and then usually that's an open door for someone to go.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's been a, it's been a whole thing.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: You know, or I'm not really in a good space, cause I think I'm just craving authenticity and people being real in the world, because I think what it does is it?
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: It gives me permission to be real in a way.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: You know, although I don't need permission, I think it is nice for people to see that you know they're not alone and that they can't choose themselves.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: They don't have to.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: You know, do things because someone else wants to.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: So I think.
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: But it's a whole process.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: It's not like something that you just snap your fingers and you stop doing.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy to hear you say that, because let me tell you what I think, that people can hear you and I and our journeys and think, oh, that's great Work for them.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you what this has been an eight year army crawl.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not an overnight thing.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and I can still go back to those old habits, of course, yeah, but I think there's something so powerful and you said it earlier before we hit record that, as we are achievers and as we're doing all of these things, the gift of awareness allowing yourself to be aware I think, is just such a beautiful gift.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: And you can't fix what you're not aware of.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: And I feel like, once you're aware, that's the beginning process of it.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think, just as solutioners and a lot of our listeners are, you don't always have to have the answer.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: You just have to be aware of like whoa, like that isn't something I want to do again and I'm feeling that same way.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: Like for me, the burnout can come on.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: You know just the working harder and longer and that's the solution to everything?
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: And it isn't.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: But I think you know.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: What we were talking about is like I'm aware of it now, like I know when it's popping its head up and I'm like, oh no, no, we're not going to hang out anymore.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: You know we broke up, burnout and I and I don't want to get back together, so I think just being aware of it is half or more of what we need to do.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: So, when you think about your bold definition and really, you know, focusing in on self and awareness and creating space, what's a memorable bold moment for you or one that comes to mind?
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: And I know we have layers of boldness in our life, but is there one that just surfaces for you?
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: You know the first one that bubbles up because I was just telling someone about this.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: I said let me tell you what.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: If I was waiting for my husband he's an amazing man and this is no reflection on him but if I was waiting for him to give me permission to start this business, I'd still be waiting.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: I think we want other people to give us permission, and that permission may never come, and so we hold ourselves back.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: So I say, lee, there was this moment three years ago and I had the gut whispers that people talk about, and I didn't know what it meant, but they were whispers for so long, and then they just kept getting louder and I couldn't ignore it that.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: I knew I needed to pursue this sharing with other women, these small little micro tools for self talk, self leadership, that I was never taught and struggled alone for almost 40 years and had a mental breakdown at the height of my career and felt paralyzed and shame and guilt and never spoke about it.
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: And so we were getting Michael and I were getting married in September.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Girl, this was August.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: Talk about there's never a great time.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: And I'll never forget I walked in the door, walked in the door the day and I said to him you know that six figure job that I have.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: It is going down to half, effective immediately and I don't know how I'm going to make that up, but I will.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: I have no business plan, I have no money in savings, but I will figure this out because I always have.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Because you bet on you.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: Mic drop because I bet on me.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: And you know what I thought to myself.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: I have figured everything else out up to this point.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I will figure this out too, right, and was it hard on our marriage?
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: Oh hell yeah, yeah.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: Hell yeah, he couldn't see it, my family couldn't see it, my friends couldn't see it.
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: No one could see what I could envision, and I kept going because I could see it for myself.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a tough time, like when you first make that decision.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: So like I got to a point where I had to quit without having a job or even a plan.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I just knew I needed to choose me and that was just this place of like wow, I'm really scared, but I feel so free at the same time.
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: It was extremely odd feeling you.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: I feel so free at the same time.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: It was extremely odd feeling you know one end of the other, but I think I had the understanding of my family at that point because of how bad my health had gotten how hard I was working, how little I was sleeping, how tense I was, how short I was.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: you know just, it wasn't me, and they all knew it, but there were many that didn't get it you know, and I was like at first.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: I think for some of them, who I was close to, the fact that they didn't get it actually felt hurtful.
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: They weren't just happy.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: I was happy or happy that I was sleeping through the night.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: It is like, how could you leave that?
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: You've been working your whole career for that?
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Like, how could you like?
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: It's so, you know, prestigious and x, y or z, and I was just like, because it's not good for my health.
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: To me that's the only thing I that matters.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: And I think it was harder to like figure out.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: There's some people I didn't have anything in common with anymore because the commonality was strife or being upset at work or not liking.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: That way the things were going you know, x, y, z, we had nothing in common.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Once I was happy.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: You know it's.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: So I love the fact you're bringing this up, because this was really.
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: I wasn't aware of this, or maybe I didn't allow myself to be aware of this, but lead to your point.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: When I began these bold moves to trust in myself, to do it for me to believe in myself, there were people that I thought were going to be front row seat cheering me on Right, and they weren't.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: And it can be very difficult to walk out of certain rooms and it took me a long time to realize that you've got to keep on going, because that's how your people will find you.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: Find your people right.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and that'll change as you change, and there is nothing wrong with those rooms that you used to stand in.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: A girlfriend told me this and I love this.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: She's like Meg think of your life like a big building, right, you can.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: You've been hanging out for a long time, like you and I were in these these very high, prestigious careers for a long time.
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: You can be hanging out on floors two, three and four and that's where you've been.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: And then you decide one day to take the escalator um to six and people are like what the hell?
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: We've never been here, she's not from here, she be lost.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: And the people down below were like where are you?
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: Where are you doing?
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what are you doing?
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: What are you doing up on six?
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: Six isn't where you belong, right, but that you can come down to floors two, three and four whenever you want, but you're not hanging down there.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: Keep exploring the other floors, and I thought that's a great analogy.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, I think when you kind of made those moves for yourself and you started off like you're betting on yourself, obviously you had a big moment too coming, you know, and all the things that were happening in your personal life.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: How did you start off, you know, because I think sometimes that's the hardest thing for someone to say one I need to make a choice.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: It's different and it might not be everybody will understand.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Accept it, you know, insert whatever goes there, it just might not be understandable to a lot of people.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: And you know, people, I think, fixate on the business plan or they fixate on the logo, or they fixate on the branding, or do I have enough social followers and all this other stuff?
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I actually and this is going to sound weird and I wondered if you kind of did this too I just focused on me to start off because I had to heal, I was in a messed up state from a health perspective and I knew I couldn't just jump back into work.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Girl, you are taking me to church right now.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: You know, I read something the other day that said if you don't know what to do, focus on you, because it's when you are the most mentally clear, it's when you feel good in your body, it's when you feel the spiritual connection, when you give yourself the space, that these things start to come.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: And I think we can, to your point, we can lose sight in all of that, because we feel we need to have the plans and we need to have the Instagram followers and we need to have all of these things in place and waiting for a perfect time yeah, they think there's this equation, this magical equation or this equation they've seen over and over you have to have x, y or z, and I think for me and it sounds like for you too, like focusing on your next step for you, and then all the other things for me just started to play out, and by no means that I win the lottery and not have to make a living or anything.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I mean we used our savings a little bit of my retirement.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: I had a runway like I had stuff to do, so I knew, you know the clock was ticking.
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: I knew you know the clock was ticking but for me, I knew that if I didn't focus on my health, at least in parallel with thinking about what was possible, I was going to just crash and burn yeah.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: You know it's so funny Like you can't.
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: Here's to the gift of reflection.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: So, lee, I never thought I was going to start a business.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: Listen, girl, I was right, I thought it was way too risky.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: I was raised that way.
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: No, yeah, I was nervous to tell my mom.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: I thought, for me I think I wasn't I've always struggled with not feeling smart and I always thought Like it was obviously not logical.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: But you know, for me, like it was just something you did, like if you had already made it.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yes.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: So eight years ago, at the height of my career running sales for this billion dollar hospitality organization, the thing that I said was going to fix all the things, you know, the surface level stuff, once.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: I get the job.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Once I get in this jean size, once this is in the bank account, I'll be happy, and you never are you just keep hustling.
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: And so God, universe, divine girl, like whatever word you want to use said girl, you've been going in the wrong direction and.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: I'm about to show you, and I think we think it's these big things, but it's these small little things every day that build that resentment, that burnout, that misalignment from who we are.
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: And three months after I got this promotion, I had a mental breakdown on the busiest highway in Philadelphia.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: Never knew it was a breakdown, never told anyone, never had the language for it.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: I felt ashamed, I felt guilt.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: But it was that breakdown that, I like to say, led me to the breakthrough.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: So then, for eight years after that, leah, I was in that car and I realized I was pill popping to numb, I was binge drinking to numb, I was overspending to numb.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: I just didn't want to feel I was addicted to my work as a sign of my worth and I didn't know how to break through it in that moment and it took me a while to get clear on it.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: But here's to the gift of awareness.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: I began becoming intentional on the content that I consumed.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Now I know that three minutes, three minutes of what you consume, my friend, whether that's on social, whether that's checking your emails, whether that's the music you got on the TV in the background, will impact you for seven to eight hours.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Three minutes is all.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: It takes Three minutes, which is why, if you're sitting in with your phone at night, you're scrolling, you're doing the doom scrolling, you're trying to do things to sleep like shit.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: Exactly, you're scrolling, you're doing the doom scrolling, you're trying to do things or sleep like shit Exactly, and lead to your question about how did this come to be?
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: How did I start?
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: That began to lay the groundwork for my confidence and then, every day, I made one small, little micro step for me, whether that was to reach out to a woman that I saw doing something that intrigued me, just like I did to you to say, god, I love the work that you're doing.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: Whether it was raising my hand to lead something at a meeting.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Whether it was reaching out to someone in my network to say, hey, I know you're doing this, can I come and speak?
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: And maybe you know here's what intrigues me, and I got to tell you it's exactly that that led to this business, eight years later.
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: Now to your point.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: I had to do the shit work I like to call eating at the shit sandwich, and I had to do consulting work in an industry that I really just was so burnt out of.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: But I needed the money because I did not want to put that on the business at such an infancy stage my little baby to be like okay, well, we got to pay the mortgage off this.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: We got to do this off this.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: So I did consulting work for two years until I could build it up.
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, which makes sense.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I think.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: You know it's the base.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: I think of that as the base of what we do and it's still what we're really good at, and it doesn't mean that you throw out what you're good at.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I think people think that being on shore means you just instantly do something else when you might just transition.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Yes, and in there you talked about what I consider the quieter, bold moments.
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: Like bold doesn't have to be this loud big thing all the time.
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: But you talked about the micro moments, the, the reach outs, the understanding yourself, the writing it down, the journaling of it, all.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Right, you know.
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: So those are.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Those are bold moments, just as much as like someone quitting their job or saying I'm going to be an entrepreneur and I'm giving my notice, or whatever it may be.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: I just think people should hear that Right, Cause they don't maybe value them as much.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, and I loved.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: Thank you for picking up on the journaling piece.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: I know we hear journaling all the time and you're like, but let me tell you what I always say the power of the pen is what saved me.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: And all I did, lee, was because the pen doesn't judge and I would just create space, whether it was five minutes in the morning or 10 minutes, hell, even three minutes, whatever, I had to just release everything in my mind.
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: You ever feel like you have 75 tabs open in there at any given time and it's like yeah exactly Would just release it.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: I didn't reread it, I didn't need to make sense, but to just release it.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: There was freedom.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: And then in that moment I would say to myself what is one micro thing, one micro that you can do today that fills a bucket of your life?
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: Whether it was your health, whether it's moving for 15 minutes, right to take a break, you know that even 20 minutes of moving your body will cut depression by 36%.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: So whether it was some commitment to move my body, whether it was something around finances you know, overspending is the name of my game.
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: So to think to myself, okay, maybe today I'm going to wait 24 hours to buy the thing or whether it was about my relationships just reaching out to someone because isn't it so, interestingly, that the majority of what gets our attention are these contingent relationships versus just authentic relationships.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Or whether it was something about my self-worth to allow myself to be aware when the gremlins would come chirping in and having the courage to raise my hand and call a friend and say, hey, can you help talk me through it?
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: All it takes is an eight minute conversation.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: Or whether it was something you know, lee, this was really.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: This was a big part of my healing too, and I love when you said I had to heal myself before I could go into the next thing.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: That's what all of this was, and I wasn't even aware I was doing it.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: One of the most powerful things for me and I didn't even know I needed it was creating a connection with something higher than myself, having a spiritual connection that felt right to me.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Did you go through that process too, of like a connection to something higher than yourself, or where does that hit?
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: I think I've always had that.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: So for me, I think it deepened for sure, because I was like I don't know what I'm doing.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: But you know, I know you're guiding my steps and I know you've already planned it for me, so I'm just going to keep moving.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm just looking for you to help guide me, and every now and then I'd be like, just give me a sign like this is the right thing to do.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: And not every time did I get a sign.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: But it's interesting because I still kind of have those moments come up where I'm like am I, am I really making a difference?
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Am I, you know, and I even think that about me.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: And like I think outwardly, you can see I'm making a difference and doing the things.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: And but like I, you know, I was like am I really, does it really matter if I coach or connect?
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: And then someone will text me something like, wow, you've really changed my life, You've made this possible, or you've inspired me, and I'm like, okay, thanks God, I got it, Thank you, yeah, Thanks for the text.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: I love when he texts, you know.
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: So a girl.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: You know it's so funny you say this.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: So I went to church with my grandmother, who was very strict.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: I don't have a relationship with her to this day.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: And I never felt a connection.
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: It took me back there, and so for so long in my life I ran from it.
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because it wasn't connected to something that felt good, exactly yeah.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: And girl here is to I feel like when you are desperate man, you open the doors to things you didn't even know you needed, and so that opened the door for me, for these spiritual connections which really just began as really Googling like guided meditation for anxiety.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: And I would listen to a little five minute YouTube tape and then it led me to these great spiritual individuals which now, wayne Dyer, has become like this amazing influence in my life.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: But it can start there and I love when you said earlier the micro decisions.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, quieter moments, I think those happen between my ears a lot, you know, and I think for me, when I get off my path and when I start to kind of hit that rumble strip, I'm like wait a minute, oh, I'm not.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: You know, and using your words and how you know and what you teach.
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: I'm not intentional about what I'm doing right now.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: I'm just trying to do everything for everyone or kind of veered off what my focus is and I see the signs right and to me that's a moment of intentionality, of like let's get back on track and sometimes I go in the ditch, and that's how I find you know.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: So, like when you think about intentional living, like how would you define that for the listeners?
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: Like what does that mean?
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: How do they capture that?
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: I love that you bring this up, because our world wants you or has you believing that a word should mean a certain thing Work-life balance, burnout, authenticity, vulnerability here's the thing, Hurt them all.
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: It can be whatever you need it to be in that moment.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: For me, being intentional means aware, awareness, and so I always love to say the power of intention.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: Setting.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: For me looks like taking a 30 second microbe before I get on a call and think to myself, okay, what do I want on the other end of this call, like what's, what do I want to be aware of?
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: And I did it right before we got on and I thought to myself you know what my intention is is that I don't want to script it out, which you don't, which I love.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: You keep this unscripted.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: There's beauty in that, there's power in them, but I just want to let the words flow and I want to show up with heart and kindness and be grateful that I'm able to sit next to a woman that I love and admire and help share these words that I needed with other women, and so I think a way that we can do this in our day to day life is take a microbe when you're grabbing that coffee in the morning.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: I would also say this please try to keep the phone away from your bedside table.
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: I would also say this please try to keep the phone away from your bedside table 100%.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh God, I got to tell you.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: I find that I sleep so much better when I charge that phone in the bathroom.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: I don't bring it into the bed.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: And I sleep better.
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: Which do you know?
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: If you have a rough night's sleep, lee?
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: Because we know three minutes of phone usage will impact you for seven to eight hours.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: So if you're feeling like crap, you sleep like crap.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: You are 40% more likely to misread a text or email.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: Skip the words get upset yes because you see the thing and you're like, oh, that wasn't right, you know, yeah, and think about how we communicate.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: So in that moment, intentionality can be around.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: You know what?
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: I want to keep this phone away from my bedside table because I want to sleep better.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: Or in the morning, when you get up, instead of going right to the phone to grab the coffee and think to yourself you know what, how do I want to show up today?
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: What do I want to get out of today?
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: And when you do that, lee, when you make that 30 second decision to yourself by yourself in a space I don't care if it's by the coffee in the shower, in your bathroom, in the closet, who cares where it is you are 45% more likely to achieve the thing just by asking yourself that question.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, just like and you know going to your podcast is called attention to intention, right, so you're actually paying attention to what you want to do.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: And I think a really important piece here just even talking about the phone and social media and kind of when we use it, that's important.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: The health of it all, like even physical health, of having that radiation next to your head at night- yeah.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: Healthy everybody.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: So get a real alarm clock.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: They still exist and there's some cool ones out there with lots of cool beats that you can wake up to.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: But I think it's important for people to realize like do what you need to do, Meaning like for me it wasn't just enough put in the bathroom or leave it in the kitchen.
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: I like deleted the apps on my phone so, and when I go on vacation, I remove them.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: So there's delete and remove, and you know, one means you just don't see it.
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: Remove means you can't even look it up.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: And so for me, like I had to train myself a little bit because I was so addicted to the phone, to social media not not like addicted, like I couldn't get off social media but I was just like did I respond?
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: Did someone DM me?
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: Am I there for them?
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: I don't want to miss that text and I want to make sure everyone's okay.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: You know, coming from that land, but still not healthy.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: Intention was positive, but it's not healthy for you.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: So I just thinking, like doing what you need to do strategy wise, is there a micro tool that we could use for something like that that you've come across?
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: That you know, obviously, listening to good stuff, if you are going to listen to anything like, make sure it's something positive.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: For three minutes, taking that beat, you know, 30 seconds, 45 seconds, just to set what you're going to do before you pick up the phone and try to like I try to go 30 minutes or more in the morning without my phone and then really leave my phone at my desk, if I can, in the home office, so I don't even have to see it.
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: Yes, oh, I love that.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: You know if I can go back to what you said and I want to get to your question.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: But if I can go back to what you said about doing what you need to do, girl, let's bold that, italicize it, underline it, 75 font it.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: Our beautiful friends that are listening right now, there is no one prescriptive way to do it.
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Nobody knows what works for you but you and I was talking to a girlfriend of mine the other week.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: She just turned 50.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: And she had said to me here's to the wisdom that comes in aging.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: First of all, she said to me you know, meg, I always heard my whole life about the power in journaling and I thought to myself God, you know, why can't I get into it?
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: And she said I'm at my 50th.
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: You know, I had this moment micro beat for me, and I sat there and I realized, wait, I am journaling.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: I choose to use the notes app in my phone because that's what works for me Exactly.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: But I've been doing it this whole time and I thought that's it, that's it.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: No one knows what works for you but you, and I think it takes a lot of courage and curiosity and non judgment, because we hate to do shit that makes us feel uncomfortable or we think we're gonna suck at or it's hard, you know hard to change all of these things, but to keep trying until you find something that you're like, that feels right.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: So when you think about how you progress so you started off you started to define, like, what you were going to do and how you're going to do it.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: What did it feel like when you had whether it was that first talk or that first interaction or kind of something that said, yeah, I'm on the right path.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: Do you remember it?
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: You know, I think for me it were back to the micro decisions.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: It was these small little micro decisions daily and leave.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: People around me would tell me they could see a change in me when I chose to take a micro beat in the morning and I wrote down these four questions and you can put them in a post-it note on your bathroom mirror, you can journal, you can put it in your notes app.
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: But I started to do this so every morning I would take those three minutes, five minutes, whatever I had, and I would ask myself these four questions.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: And the first question was how am I feeling today and why?
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: Sounds like a stupid question, but to your point earlier, how often do we allow ourselves to really sit in it, unless we have the gift of you saying girl, it's okay to take a beat.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: How are you?
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: How are?
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: you Really, really, and pause, yeah, and look into your eyes.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: Yes, Question number two that I would ask myself what is one small act of kindness I can do for someone else?
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: And that could be something as simple as texting the girlfriend that I miss because we don't talk, because I don't.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: She's a Gabby Lips and I don't have time for the whole conversation.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: You know those people in your life that you're like.
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: I miss you, but I don't have the hour.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't have the hour here about you.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: Like a little text or whether that was.
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: I was in an office with people at that time, and so I would either write someone a little handwritten note that I thought did something powerful.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: You could still do that.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: Just one small act of kindness.
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: And.
• 33:00
  Speaker 2: I got to tell you what it has, this really cool way of getting you out of your own head, and 98% of the time someone will come back to me, lee, and say you have no idea how bad I needed that.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: I did yeah, I lived it.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: I lived that yeah.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: And then question number three, and I got to tell you what.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: I still do this stuff to this day because I found it changed how I was showing up in the rooms that I was in.
• 33:23
  Speaker 2: And then question number three is what is one micro commitment, micro thing that I can do for me today?
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: So if I'm feeling like shit in my body, moving it for 20 minutes whenever I can, if I'm feeling like this job, I'm on Groundhog's Day taking a beat and thinking to myself whether that's 10 minutes to sit outside feel the sun on my face and think what excites me, what could I do, what new idea could I bring, creating some of this beautiful gift called white space, whether it was the overspending which was the name of my game for all of those years.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: To think maybe I need to dust off the budget sheet, or maybe I need to put the thing in the Amazon cart, leave it there for 24 hours instead of hitting the spend.
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: So I would look at these drawers of my life, these six drawers, and I would pick just one drawer that was feeling a little light Health, finances, spirituality, self-worth, career relationships.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: And I would just pick one thing, one small thing in one drawer.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: And here's the thing, lee, I wouldn't cancel it on myself, I would put it in my calendar, because when it's in our calendar it's important to us, and I would keep it.
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: I would say listen, lee, I would love to meet with you at 12.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: Can I meet with you at 12.15 so I can show up the best way I possibly can, and I would take those 15 minutes to do whatever that commitment was.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: And then the final question that I would ask myself in the morning are what are three things I'm grateful for?
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: Sounds hokey, but man, but this bouncer that lives up here and what it can let in.
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: When you start your day with the loud outside world, I heard someone say once, and I love this when you start your day by just picking up the phone and going to all the things, it's like you're inviting everyone and their brother and mother into your bedroom to kick off your morning, and I found that when I started from that place of gratitude, things that used to trigger me didn't because I was showing them differently.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: So a long winded answer back to your question on when I did my first speaking engagement.
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: How did I feel?
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: It was interesting because I was doing them in small little micro conversations leading up to it.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: But I didn't even see it because people in the office or people in my life would say to me God, like you just seem happier and I would share with them what I was doing.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: And so I think and I want to tie this in because I've seen it in my own life Asking those four questions, keeping the promise to myself, giving myself the space to hear myself.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: It was so interesting to me, it healed my family, I found the love of my life, I got out of the debt, I lost weight, I peeled back on the drinking, and all of this happened with those small little micro decisions.
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: And now I see the research behind it that when you make these micro moment decisions for you, lee, and you keep them, those around you have a 65% chance of also increasing their optimism.
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: They're watching.
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about your kids, I'm talking about your partner.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about the people that you work with.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: There's a ripple effect for sure.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: So then, I think that helps us realize that's not only for us that we're thinking of ourselves, right, because if we're in good shape, you know, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually shape, then we help others.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: One see the possibility and also see the best of us.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: And I think, that's what I, just from my burnout story, like I wasn't me, I wasn't at my best at all, and I think that's what I was enjoying as I was trying to figure out what was next, I was still happy, even though I didn't know, I didn't have everything defined.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: I was, you know, still working on getting healthy.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: I wasn't my healthiest, but man did.
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: I feel healthier and I was sleeping better and I was eating better and I was moving more.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: I think also, like our success metrics need to check every now and then.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: You know, like your micro moment was like oh well, I only got on, you know, I only walked around the block.
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: Well, was that more than you did yesterday?
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Or is that?
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Is that greater than zero?
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: Yes, so for me that's success, and I think you know, just as we finish out, I'd be interested to hear your opinion on our definitions of what it takes to like succeed or be a success when it comes to these things, because it isn't about the big leap To me, it is about these steps that we're taking that's led you to kind of all those successes you just listed out.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: Oh God, girl preach.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: You know and I still struggle with this because the world is loud, man, and the chatter can become real, and you can feel that and I, I still have this that sometimes I look at these amazing women online, the mel robbins, the bernie browns and I think to myself well, I, I, what am I doing over here?
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: Does it matter what I do?
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: Like I'll never get to that right, bypassing all of this shit?
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: yeah, that I have done, and I think that's where it really becomes critical for you to have a hype tribe of women around you that you can reach out to.
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: That has been one of the main things that I've really become intentional on, because I am one of those people where I can pull on the mask, where I can hover down, shut out the rest of the world and say I got it, I'm fine, I'll deal with it, and not raise my hand and ask for help.
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: And so to your point earlier just even hearing someone's voice can be a beautiful thing, and all it takes is an eight minute conversation.
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: We know to get out of the gremlins, and so that's my rally cry to our listeners is the only person that thinks you need to have it figured out is you.
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: And you have a tribe that wants to help you if you have the courage to ask.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: And so back to your original question on success.
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: I think for me, what I keep coming back to is this space of when I catch myself going down, that that ripple impact.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: It is creating space to hear myself to go to whatever I need to go to, because I know that's just the anxiety chirping in and allowing the words to flow out of me.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: Maybe it's calling a friend, Maybe it's sitting with some spiritual thing that I need to for the words to find me.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: Like you said, I love when God texts me.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: That has been a thing, girl, for me.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: Just yesterday I was panicked about September revenue for the business, like I was thinking to myself well, we failed.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: This thing that we got didn't go across the finish line and I was like, oh my God, here we go.
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: Like this, gremlins just started chirping and that can happen with anything in life whether it's the business, whether it's the thing you want to do whatever.
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: One thing doesn't go and you're like that's it, this is done, this is over.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: And so, to your point, lee, I went back to my spiritual practice and I created a moment that felt right to me and I was like I trust you, give me a sign, keep guiding me.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: I know it will all work out, because it always has and always will.
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: And then, just today, moments before we got on the phone, was I able to fill that September opportunity with something else.
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: Awesome, yeah, and I just think that that's a little nugget that we can use every day and I to put a tagline on success.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: I really think it comes back to being true to you.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, not letting someone else define it.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: And then I think, for me just not moving the finish line, yes, I do that to myself and so, like again, noticing, intentionally noticing and being aware that I do it, and it's really important that you manage yourself there as well.
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: And you know, this is what I love so much.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: To your point about moving the goalposts, because don't we do that to ourselves?
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's great, I got the book out, but now I got to do that, which you guys, if you didn't get Lee's book, please do.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: We can move that goalpost on ourselves, and so one of the things that I have loved to do this is another reason why I personally love the power of the pen.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: I have these journals that I had before I started the business that I have written in, and sometimes when I feel myself going back to those old habits of it's not enough, I'm not enough, I got to do more.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: Who am I to do this?
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: I just go upstairs, I pick up a journal, first one I'm drawn to, and I open up up a page and I go back to it and I can.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: It takes me back to that seat like that and.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: I think shit, girl, you figured that out yeah you'll figure this out okay you know the common denominator and everything we've been able to do is us.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you've got this, you've got this, you've got this.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I that A great place to end everything about Megan, and I'm ready for your Megan's microbeats.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: Second book.
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: You heard it here first.
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: You heard it here.
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's just an ebook, I don't know.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: I think we all need it, kind of how to put it out there and how to think, oh well, this isn't too big to do.
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: It only takes 30 seconds.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: So I hope you listen to her podcast.
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: Check her out at her website.
• 42:30
  Speaker 1: All the information is below in the episode notes.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: Thank you for being on the Bold Lounge, megan.
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: It's been a pleasure.
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, thank you, my friend.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: I love you and I love you all for pulling up a seat today.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Through the continuum of bold stories vulnerability to taking a leap you will meet more extraordinary people making a positive impact for others through their unique and important story.
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: By highlighting these stories, we hope to inspire others and share the journey of those with a bold mindset.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: We hope you've enjoyed this podcast and look forward to sharing the next bold journey with you.