Latest / The Rochelle Christiane Podcast / 246. Embracing the Mirror: How Relationships Reveal Our Deepest Wounds

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246. Embracing the Mirror: How Relationships Reveal Our Deepest Wounds · The Rochelle Christiane Podcast

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Rochelle Christiane podcast, formerly the Emotional Mastery podcast.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I'm Rochelle, your host.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: I'm here to help you come back to your body, take charge of your emotions and live life on your terms.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: This podcast is a space for raw, real conversations about what it means to trust yourself, lean into your power and create a life that feels aligned and alive.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: We'll explore human design, astrology and other tools to help you understand your unique energy.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: More importantly, though, we're going to talk about what it means to actually live and embody these aspects.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: So, each week, I'm going to share stories, lessons, guidance to help you navigate life's challenges and really own your magic.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: So if you're ready to step up, take control and show up as the most authentic version of you, let's begin.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode on the podcast.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: This past week has been so intense for so many different reasons, and I want to share my experience, not to dramatize the situation, but because I've really been working very hard over the last I mean years, but, honestly, this year so far specifically on manifestation, understanding the process, really implementing these practices of subconscious reprogramming, affirmations, positive thinking, because this is really, I feel, like that sort of year.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: That's.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: You know, yeah, it's the year of the snake, but truly it feels like a massive, massive shedding.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: And it's always fun, funny, how the universe sort of brings us exactly what we need when we need it.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: And I think, when you're doing the work to release what's not working, to raise your consciousness, to just be a better human right, I think we're brought a lot of these tests that have really I don't want to say held us back in the past, but that maybe we've struggled with and kind of stumbled over.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I don't want to say held us back in the past, but that maybe we've struggled with and kind of stumbled over.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: And so you know, this past week was the new moon in Taurus and it did have this opposition between Mars and Pluto.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: So it was all square to the new moon.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: And I love Taurus.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I'm my birthday is in a couple weeks so definitely always obsessed with all three things Taurus.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: It really helps me feel super grounded and in my body and it's just such a beautiful season.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: So the new moon in Taurus is really a beautiful energy.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: New moons are times where we are planting the seed right and it's really especially in Taurus, this really grounded, earthy energy, fixed earth energy.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: It's really asking us to tend to ourselves when maybe we don't see the end product right.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: We've planted the seed and we don't know what's going to blossom.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: We don't know what's going to bloom, we don't know what it's going to look like, but we have to tend to it now.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: We have to water it, we have to make sure it gets light, we have to give it love.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: We know that plants really respond to love loving words, loving energy.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: It's all frequency, right and so sometimes it's a little bit more difficult to give ourselves that when we don't see the finished product.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: A lot of times we want to know what's going to happen, what's going to come of it, but in all reality we can't know those things, and so the ego, the mind, the thinking mind, wants to protect ourselves and says, well, I don't know what's going to happen, but I know what's comfortable.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: Now I know how we can stay safe.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Now I know how we can get an outcome that we understand.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Now and again, it's about tending to those seeds that we've planted, nurturing them so that they can blossom.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: We know that saying it's always darkest before the light, and the seeds that we plant have to go through that darkness before they come up and hit the light, and so it really felt like a massive time for nurturing, turning inward and lessons for me personally.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: A lot of lessons.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: Last week, I would say two, three weeks ago maybe, I was sitting with my journal and I'll preface this by saying I've been single for, oh my gosh, almost eight years.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Yes, I've been in.
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: I've dated people for a couple of years here and there, but nothing serious, nothing committed.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: I've really been committed to myself and my own personal growth.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I also know that a lot of my trauma comes from relationships, and so I have to heal that part of myself, and in ignoring relationships, I can't do the work, and so it's always a challenge for me when I enter into something romantic, because all of these feelings come up, and I've realized recently which is sort of part of the story that I'm going to share that I have to be able to hold it Right.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: We talk a lot about money, money manifestation, and in order to call in an abundance of money, our system has to be able to receive it.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: We think that it's maybe a giving issue or whatever, but it really is this receiving issue, this ability to receive and to hold and to regulate ourselves in that space, and so I am very okay with being by myself.
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: There are, of course, moments where I feel lonely or I feel frustrated, that, or maybe I'll say, maybe I ask myself sometimes why relationships are such a challenge for me, why, you know, I look around and people it's so effortless to be in a relationship and it's definitely been my life's lesson, my journey, and I accept that about myself.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: And, again, it's really the internal work that it needs to happen.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: And so a couple of weeks ago I was journaling and I was like you know, I'm really okay with being single, right, kind of put yourself in that worst case scenario, like what's the worst case?
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: What is my biggest fear is that I end up alone, okay, and then what?
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: Then I'm alone and I'm have my kids and I'm and I'm good, right, I can focus on my career and my friendships and I'm good.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: And so I sort of got to this point and, like the universe usually does, it then brought me something that held a lot of actually what I was looking for Easy, fun, and this was very, very short-lived, but I got a taste of things that I've been looking for A lot of respect, a lot of kindness, gentleness, kindness, respect, those sorts of things, words of affection, physical attention, these are like my love languages and I realized over the last, let's say, five years I've really really continually attracted Capricorn moons and I've talked about that here before.
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: My progressed moon is in Capricorn, my progressed sun is in Cancer.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: So I think this dynamic holds a lot of lessons for me.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: And I realized I quite literally felt like a person starved.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: I didn't realize how much I had been craving words of affirmation and physical touch.
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: And I then became overwhelmed and I noticed I was so excited by the situation that it was almost like distracting me.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: And this is those times when we look and it wasn't about the person, it wasn't about that specific situation, it was the bigger picture person.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: It wasn't about that specific situation, it was like the bigger picture.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: And again I felt overwhelmed because it was something that I didn't realize I so desperately was looking for or craving and I like I don't want to say I smothered it I, and I don't want to say I ruined it, because I've come to terms with what happened as embarrassing a little bit, as it kind of feels, but I got really excited about the situation and I yeah, at it kind of feels, but I got really excited about the situation and I yeah, at the end of the day I guess I self-sabotaged it.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: I kept telling myself, you know, don't put my trauma on the situation.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: And of course we know, with manifestation, every time we say a negative, what happens.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Our mind is like, well, let's do that right, we don't hear the negative word, we only hear the positive.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: And so I did.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: I put a lot of my trauma on the situation and I made it something that it wasn't, which in hindsight is fine.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, it hurt, it was painful only because again, not because of the person or not because of the specific situation, but the big picture.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: It really showed me actually that I am currently feeling a little big picture.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: It really showed me, actually, that I am currently feeling a little bit lonely.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: It really showed me that what I've been looking for and what I haven't been able to find, it showed me a lot of my wounds that were still sort of festering under the surface that I wasn't really facing.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: And it's always in relationships that are mirrors.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: I was doing a tarot spread the other day and I was choosing an anchor card and the lovers came up, of course, and this isn't necessarily about, like romantic love.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: But the essence of the lover's card is that mirror, right, it is relationships.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: It is the mirror that we have in relationships.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: It is sometimes outsourcing our happiness, our joy, our moods to something outside of ourselves.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: And that energy came in hard in this very brief, short thing that I experienced and it was painful because I had to face all of those things that were coming up.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: And then, of course, the ego gets involved in.
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: The ego was, you know, when it comes to attraction levels and looks and things like that.
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: Ego was kind of attached to that things.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: I'm a Taurus, I'm a Taurus sun, I'm a Taurus Mercury, my MCs and Taurus.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: So, yes, I can get very possessive and very, like, connected to the material things and so I have to like sometimes remind myself that that stuff doesn't really matter that much, but it really really.
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: Again, it showed me the work that I have yet to do and also the beautiful thing about the reframe and the beautiful thing about doing the work is that I also feel like simultaneously, as much as a test as this might have been, the universe was also showing me hey, look, what's possible.
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: You've been chasing avoidant people, you've been chasing people who don't want to commit.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: And yes, that's always a reflection of insides and I always think about that.
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: Where am I not wanting to be vulnerable?
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: Where am I being dismissive?
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: Where am I not showing up in my truest expression, in my most authentic self?
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Where am I reflecting that?
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Because it's always, always a mirror.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: But it was like look at what's possible, look what is out there.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: You just have a little bit of the work yet to do.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: And it was a huge, huge, huge wake-up call, reality check for me personally, in my experience, in my life, in my journey, because emotions have always been a lesson for me, always.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: I can go into all the nitty gritty details of my chart that have to do with emotions because, trust me, it's littered, it's literally one big emotional mess, my chart.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: And so I've really, really, really struggled with my emotions for a long time and I've done a lot, a lot of work around it, around moving my body, journaling, tapping, meditating, having all of these practices in place to regulate my emotions.
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: And also, I'm human.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it overwhelms me, and so, during this brief period of time last week, where I was riding this high of this wave, I was getting all the affirmations, the words and everything I wanted to hear, and I was so buzzing with this high of my wave energy I was distracted, but I was giddy and I was excited and all these things.
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: And I remember thinking to myself I was like, wow, this crash is going to be hard because as equal as we get on the high of our wave, it's going to be as equally low.
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: And so I was kind of like anticipating for this.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: And when it crashed, it crashed hard and I felt it coming on, just overthinking things a little bit, and I did my tapping, I did my meditation, but of course I was a little bit distracted within that.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: And then I went to the gym.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: I ran for like an hour because I was trying to like outrun my thoughts.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: I was like, no, we're not going to do this.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: And then I picked up the phone and I just, yeah, I expressed myself when I should have come inside, and so it was a really big lesson on emotional regulation that, yes, although in these situations we so badly want to express ourself, we're being reactionary.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: I was reacting to my inner world when I should have waited.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: And the thing is, when we're in an emotional state, I think that we think that we have to do something now.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: We have to move the energy now and, yes, if you are emotionally defined, the solar plexus is a motor, so it wants to move, it wants something to be done with it.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: And also, a huge lesson of the solar plexus is that nothing has to be done now.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Everything can wait right, especially if you're emotionally defined.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Play hard to get.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: This is a huge lesson of the solar plexus, play hard to get.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: So, in hindsight, in that moment where I was itching to grab my phone, I was reacting, I thought I was being calm and I thought I was being consciously aware and communicating.
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: And yes, the communication was more on the conscious level, I guess, like I feel type of communication styles, whatever you want to say.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: But in hindsight, because I was feeling raw and because I was feeling emotional and because I knew I was in the low of a wave, I should I'm air quoting should have waited, but I didn't and it is what it is.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: And I feel again, I felt embarrassed because the situation was blown up to something that it never should have been and wasn't actually my truth, and this is the thing that's kind of not a humorous about the emotional wave, but the thing I've always noticed is that in an emotional low, yes, it feels intense in the moment, but also it's not my truth.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: So the things that I'm saying in the moment, yeah, sure I might feel, but big picture, they're not always the truth, right, in human design, there is no truth in the now.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: If you are emotionally defined and it's difficult for people who do not have a defined solar plexus to understand that what you're expressing and what you're feeling is not your truth, right?
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's the truth in the moment, but it's not your truth.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: It's what you're experiencing in the moment, but it's not your truth.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: And so to communicate that and express that while you're in that sort of a situation or an emotional state is a little bit more challenging.
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: And so, again, it was a huge wake-up call to my emotions, my emotional regulation, because I really felt like I had done a really good job over the last few years of working on my emotional regulation.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: And I have, and also I'm human, and it was a very painful emotional experience and it also it had nothing to do with the situation experience and it also it had nothing to do with the situation.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: It really had to do with I was on a new moon call and something that came up in the call was this phrase, I guess but it's trauma is too hard, too fast, too soon and in hindsight, looking at the situation, I got really excited really fast.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: There was a lot going on so it activated all of my trauma because the situation was too hard, too fast, too soon and my emotional response was not appropriate for the situation.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: If that makes sense, the emotional response I was having was actually to do with my past trauma, not to do with the situation, but I projected it on the situation and in these times I think I actually had somebody ask me a couple days later they were having a situation with their partner asking about love, bombing and too fast, like things are moving too fast, and I kind of shared because I had literally just had this experience.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: So I asked if the partner had trauma, relationship trauma, and they said yes and I was able to give that advice.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Like it literally it's not you, it's not the situation, but their trauma is being activated because things are moving too quickly.
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: I've come to really value the slowness but also my trauma.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: Part of my trauma is that I don't want to feel confused, I want to be certain, I want clarity.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: Those things are important to me and so, projecting all of that stuff on the situation.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Everything happens for a reason.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: The universe does not make mistakes.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: We all have free will as well.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: So who knows?
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: But I really think, like in hindsight again, this was a lesson on emotional regulation, a lesson on trauma and how to navigate my trauma, how to handle it.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: Maybe next time better.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: I've recommitted to my journal how to handle it, maybe next time better.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: I've recommitted to my journal.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: Like I'm going hard.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: In my journal I am just writing everything down, and after the situation, I just wrote every cause.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I think that you know when you're in an experience and you're trying to heal and doing all these things, we don't want to have all these negative thoughts.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: And I think when you're in a trigger and a trauma response and in an activated, heightened emotional state, it can.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Your thoughts can turn negative, like why did I do that?
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: Why I'm so embarrassed, oh my gosh, I can't believe it.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: And so I had to just write down all these negative thoughts that I had about myself, right, and it really helped get it out.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Once I got it out on paper, I was like, oh my gosh, I feel so much better.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: So it's like again recommitting to really really doubling down on my journaling practice to be able to move through these things.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: And again, yeah, just teaching me or showing me what's possible, because in 2B Magnetic work they talk about expanders.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Expanders are seeing to believe.
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: If we don't see that something is true, it's harder for us to believe that it's true for us or that it's possible for us.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: So seeing something then allows us to actually believe it, like wow, there are actually people out there that are so respectful and so kind and so considerate Like what respectful and so kind and so considerate, like what.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: So that was a huge expander for me was seeing someone who is like that and who is emotionally available in the sense of like generous with their words but not over the top, right.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: And again it also showed me where I still need to do the work, because, again, we can't do the work unless it's being reflected back to us if that makes sense.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: So I can choose to be single and not date for five years and think that I'm healed because I was just by myself.
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: But if you're not healing in the place that you got trauma, that you were wounded, then you're not truly healing.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: And it's really challenging.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: It's probably one of the hardest things to do to willingly, intentionally, put yourself in a situation, a circumstance that is painful.
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: The ego, the thinking mind, does not want to go there because it's not safe, it's not comfortable, or when it does go there, it self-sabotages by repeating patterns that it knows what's going to happen.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: So in hindsight, this situation me expressing when I was in an emotional low, I knew what was going to happen.
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: I knew it was going to cause me to be rejected for my emotions because that is my patterning that was probably the most painful thing I've had.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: A lot of people over the years reflect back to me that you know, when I'm in my calm, confident, taurus sort of energy, then Rochelle's real cool, right, Like then we want to spend time with her.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: But as soon as emotions begin to come into play and again I know what my internal emotional experience is.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I don't necessarily know what other people experience on the outside of me, but I feel like I do a decent job of keeping it kind of internal.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: But there are moments where obviously it expresses and that's something that has been reflected back to me a lot in relationships where it's like well, let's just not talk, or to me, the message feels like I accept you when you're like this, but I don't accept you when you're emotional.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: And so that was really painful because I have received this message over and over Like your emotions are not safe here, your emotions are not okay here, I do not choose you when you are in that state.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: And that was something else was like I kept thinking I just want to be chosen and at the end of the day, I have to choose myself.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: And I really felt like I did.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: I really felt like I have gotten to a point where I do choose myself.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: I love my like love, hate relationship, but no, I love my emotions.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: I love the depth and complexity that I feel because it is such a part of me.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: I've accepted that I am not the lightest, happy-go-lucky optimistic.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't say I'm not optimistic, but my charts and everything this is where astrology and human design is so beautiful as tools for self-acceptance and self-awareness, because I accept that I'm a pretty intense person and also I love that I invite people into my life that bring the lightness that I can match.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: I don't necessarily bring the lightness to situations, but I can match it right Like I'd like to have fun.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: I'd like to have play, I'd like to have joy, but I don't necessarily create that in myself.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: It's other people that come into my life and activate that within me.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: That's sort of how that works, and I've come to really appreciate that and love that part of myself.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: And so, when we're looking at our astrology chart, I'm currently doing a series on the houses in astrology on Instagram and TikTok.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: You can go follow me below and check it out, because when we look to you know, the houses in astrology, when you look at astrology, it's like a wheel and it's separated into 12 different like sections, which are 12 different houses, and they all represent different areas of our life.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Right, it's the stage that the actors are on, so the planets are the actors, they're the energy that we're bringing.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: The signs are the costumes that the actors are wearing, right?
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: So Mars is always going to be Mars, but Mars and Taurus is going to look different than Mars in Capricorn, right, and the houses, again, are the areas of life that it's impacting.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: And so it's just such a beautiful way to work with your chart because you're able to see, ok, well, I'm going to take my personal Actually.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: I mean, there's so many examples I can use in my chart.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: I'm just so familiar with it so I'm going to use a couple examples so I can say okay, I have in my fifth house which is fun, play, creativity, dating.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: It's ruled by Leo and the sun.
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: This is typically a really like bright, shining, playful, fun area of your chart.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: I have Saturn and Uranus here, so it's really hard for me to lean into that energy and I could fight it right.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: I've got a lot of people that have reflected to me over the years like why don't you, why aren't you?
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know how to word it, but oh, just have fun, oh, just lighten up, right?
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: Like why are you taking it so seriously?
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: And it's like well, that is just who I am.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: It's taken.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: It takes, especially with Saturn.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: It takes a while to navigate and find that wisdom in that area and to be able to lean into that energy.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: And then Uranus is like Uranus wants complete autonomy, freedom, independence, authenticity.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: This is where you are different.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: You are unique in your chart wherever Uranus is.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: And so, having these two energies there, it's really hard for me, and so I've learned to just like accept that, right, I have Pluto square, my moon.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: My moon is on my ascendant in Leo and Pluto is in my fourth house.
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: So the way I experience myself is really intensely and I could fight that and be like no, I'm just going to be such a blight and bubbly person, I'm not right.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that I'm not fun.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: It doesn't mean that I'm like boring or it doesn't mean anything actually far, far from boring, but like it doesn't mean anything about me other than what I make it mean about me.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: But looking at these areas in your chart allows you to accept and stop fighting.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: So for my twenties, my early twenties, college, like I wanted to be the fun friend.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I wanted it so bad and I just wasn't like not to say that I wasn't fun again.
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: But people bring it to me fun again.
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: But people bring it to me Right, if that makes sense.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Like I'm not, like I can match the energy and I think I'm funny, but I don't innately like have that light playfulness that some people do.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: I'm not great with surface level conversations.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: Like I want to go deep.
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: That's just that's where I thrive is the depth is like I want to figure out the world and life.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: And because I have Sagittarius in the fifth house too.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: So this is.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: You know, sagittarius is the philosophers, like the guru, it's sort of like the teacher learning adventure, seeking all those sorts of things.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: And so I say all that just to say that, like looking to your chart and understanding how you can use and lean into the highest expressions of these energies can really help you again create self-awareness and understand how you can just be you.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: And after I was going through this whole big experience last week, I was like I need something that's going to ground me, something that's going to make me feel better.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: And so I turned to the tarot and taking a tarot course and the first thing that I was diving into was the fool which is ruled by Uranus, which is all about being you right, being you, stepping off the ledge, even though sometimes we don't know what's underneath there.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: It's just like taking that step and then knight of wands and knight cards are like your rhythm, your pace.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: It's movement, wands is fire, creativity.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: But what I understood this to mean, and especially what really really hit me in that moment, was like I have to honor myself, my unique individuality, my authenticity, who I am and no one else.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: And when I'm honoring myself, then I'm magnetic.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: And we know, with manifestation work.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: When we are authentic, when we are ourselves, when we are in that energy, we are magnetic.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: You cannot be anybody else when you're trying to be the shoulds and I need to be the fun party girl or whatever.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: If that's not who you are, it's felt.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: Your energy speaks louder than your words.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: Your energy speaks first.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: People pick up on that, whether they realize it or not, and so it was just like a huge again, like kind of a huge wake-up call of like okay, I need to course correct, I need to kind of move through this and again be okay with being by myself but also showing up and having.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I'm still kind of grounding into the lessons of what came up, but I did see there is a lot of lessons around nervous system regulation.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: A lot of lessons around the importance of regulating not only when you're low but also when you're high, basically daily, continual, consistent regulation.
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: And again, that holding the capacity, being able to hold and to receive when something comes in, is so, so important.
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: So it was just a really big lesson and I shared this because if you've experienced anything similar, if your trauma gets activated by certain things, like it's okay, we're human, it happens.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: I could.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: For a couple hours I was so mad at myself.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: I was like, man, you ruined that thing, right?
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: You self sabotage, like how could you?
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: Like what is wrong with you?
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: And I had these thoughts and I was like you know what it's?
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: It's, it is what it is.
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: It's life.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: Life will move on.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: There are 7 billion, 8 billion people on this planet Like it's all good, truly.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: And and it really really reminded me there is no rush.
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: If there is a rush for something like if you have to make a decision right now, if your emotional authority specifically like it's not for you and there's no rush, that's a big one.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: My energy just wants to move so fast, but there's no rush.
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of fire in my chart, but there's no rush, it's fine, it's all good.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: So I hope this was supportive in some way in your journey.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: I hope this was supportive in some way in your journey.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Just things to reflect on right, like if you're feeling activated, raw, emotional, just as hard as it may be.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Be with that experience, because it will always pass.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Every single emotional low you've been through has passed right.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: And so ask the questions, come to your journal.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: If you have a tarot practice is beautiful, whatever it is that supports you tapping, meditation, walking, talking to a safe friend that can move you through it.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Not talking to 20 different people forget for 20 different validations or opinions but like having someone safe to move through it with.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: And again, remember that you're human.
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: You're human.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: We're here to have the human experience.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: It's all an experiment.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: We're figuring this shit out one day at a time, one situation at a time, one person at a time, and we're social creatures.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: We want to be in relationship to other people, and so last week was big for me.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: You know, with the new moon.
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: New moons are exciting, energy right.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Again, this is, we're planting our seeds and we have, this week, pluto stations retrograde on Sunday, but this week we are, everything is direct, which is a great week to move on things.
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: And after I had cycled through this, something dropped into my world that I'm super excited about.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: I can't talk about yet, but I'm super excited about.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: So it was almost like I had to move through this and come to this place of acceptance around it and awareness, and the universe was like, okay, well, here you go, here's something to be excited about.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: So, again, learning to regulate and not have to rush things Because again, that was the biggest huge lesson of last week was like there is no rush, like we can be calm, we can be slow, we can move through this.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: And again, with my son and Taurus, we are learning to through our rising sign, we are learning the lessons to embody our sun sign.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: So we're not necessarily born embodying the energy of our sun sign.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: That's something we're growing into.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: So the more that I can lean into that slowness of my sun sign, it actually feels really good right, like there is no rush, it's all going to be good.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: So I hope that was supportive, as always.
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening, for being here.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: You can follow me on Instagram at Rochelle Christian R-O-C-H-E-L-L-E, dot.
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: C-h-r-i-s-t-i-a-n-e.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Tiktok is the same.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: I am being active again on TikTok Website, rochellechristiancom.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: Empower starts May 12th If you want to join us.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: This is a small group coaching program program where we really really really dive into your chart, subconscious reprogramming to sort of really embody, because human design and astrology are tools and tools are nothing but intellectual information unless you embody them.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: So we're really learning how to bring it into your system to begin living in alignment.
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: So if you're interested in that, the link is down below.
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: You can send me an email, you can send me a message on Instagram.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: But again, I thank you so much for being here and I will catch you next week.