Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / The Modern Dating Survival Guide | with Jake and Ottie from Relatables

Transcript

The Modern Dating Survival Guide | with Jake and Ottie from Relatables · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful brans, and welcome to the podcast episode of Today.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: This is a slightly different podcast episode because I'm doing
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: an interview and I don't do interviews very often, and
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: I'm very excited to announce that I'm interviewing Jake and
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Otti from The Relatables. If you haven't already checked out
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: their podcast seen them across socials, please do yourself a favor.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: These guys are unbelievable, some of like to me, it's
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: just like a breath of fresh air of young men
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: who are just I don't know, I don't have enough
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: words to explain how much I enjoy this conversation and
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: how emotionally mature but also very funny these guys are.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: So we are talking about the Modern Dating Survival Guide,
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: and it's kind of we're honestly, we're just having a
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: bit of fun here, but we're covering all kinds of
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: things from different perspective, from you know, a man's perspective,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: of women's woman's perspective, and also red flags, our opinion
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: on what is a red flag and what isn't a
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: red flag and pretty much everything in between. I actually
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: also did an interview on their podcast as well, so
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: go check out their podcast. That one's already gone live
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago, and we spoke about probably
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: more serious things. It's really funny because I thought that
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: this one, this podcast episode, would be more serious because
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: the stuff that I normally talk about and vice versa.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: But no, this one's very lighthearted and fun. And if
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: you want to hear something more serious, maybe around like
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: poor an addiction and all of that, then go check
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: out my episode on their podcast. Anyway, let's get straight
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: into it. You guys are gonna meet Jake and Otti.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: They're fucking hilarious. If you don't already listen to them,
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Welcome and enjoy. Since welcome, I'm so happy to have
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: you on the podcast. We literally just recorded an episode
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: on your podcast, so we're very warmed up. It's not like, yeah,
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: you know sometimes when you get a guest at the
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: start and it feels like it.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: Takes a second, it's almost a little awkward.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: It's always you're like, oh, why was this all good?
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: At the end?
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: Only met you fifteen minutes ago, and then we're like,
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: so what do you think about sex?
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 2:10
  Speaker 5: I actually, to be fair, we like chat.
• 2:13
  Speaker 6: I was glad we kind of like spoke for like
• 2:15
  Speaker 6: fifteen minutes before our episode, and then we.
• 2:18
  Speaker 5: Felt like we had a bit of rapport.
• 2:19
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: Yes, have you ever had those like guests that you've
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: never met in person and it's a remote like guest.
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: Now we refuse to do a remote guest.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: That's not a bad idea, because I've done some. I've
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: done some like in the States, like people that like
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: authors and stuff, and then you know, and I'm like,
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: you go straight into and it feels like a like
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: almost like a sixty minutes interview, like this is not conversational.
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do you know Luke Bateman?
• 2:44
  Speaker 6: Yeah, we had him on the pod and he's he
• 2:48
  Speaker 6: has a podcast and he said he does a lot
• 2:49
  Speaker 6: of virtual ones with authors. He said the same thing
• 2:51
  Speaker 6: and he said if their Wi Fi connections bad, he'll
• 2:54
  Speaker 6: ask a question and he'll wait and he'll be like
• 2:57
  Speaker 6: and then they answer, and he says, it's so weird
• 2:59
  Speaker 6: because he's like about to say did you hear me?
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: And you're always just about to just and then it's
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: honestly the worst throw and catch up a conversation when
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: there's bad Yeah no, so maybe stick to.
• 3:09
  Speaker 6: That, yeah, bad idea, Like we very reluctantly decided to
• 3:15
  Speaker 6: do our own virtual episodes very recently.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we know what each other always.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Can say, and you've got good rapport.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: That's all right.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. So I wanted to do an episode
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: on the Modern Dating Survival Guide, and I thought it'd
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: be great to get, you know, the men's perspective. And
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I actually think it's going to go really well because
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: based on the episode that we just recorded for yours,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I feel like this is good or a bad thing,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: but we're very much in the same wavelength with a
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: lot of things. So yeah, I like where your head's at,
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: and you're very well rounded men. So I feel like you, guys,
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: I feel like a compliment, do.
• 4:00
  Speaker 5: You know what.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I prefer someone that can take a compliment. You know,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: when you give a compliment and they're like no, no, no, no,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I'm like a compliments a gift. Take it.
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a good point. I feel like that's I definitely.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Graciously and men very rarely compliment each other.
• 4:16
  Speaker 6: Why I don't know why, but every now and then
• 4:18
  Speaker 6: on the podcast will dedicate a little bit of time
• 4:20
  Speaker 6: to like do a couple of compliments to each other.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and we have to keep a straight face and
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: accept the confliment. It never works.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, what's the best one?
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: The best one for there's so many good ones from
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: my friend Jake.
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: Okay here it ca so like one thing up.
• 4:34
  Speaker 6: Okay, So I listened to this podcast called Kicking Squad again.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: And it's it's two women.
• 4:40
  Speaker 6: They're very funny, but they I noticed just like that
• 4:44
  Speaker 6: they're always kind of just like gassing each other up
• 4:47
  Speaker 6: right about like their bodies or like their boobs or
• 4:49
  Speaker 6: like yeah everything their skin everything great. And so I noticed,
• 4:54
  Speaker 6: Likedi and I don't do that.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: We can do that.
• 4:56
  Speaker 6: And so one I remember starting one off being like
• 4:59
  Speaker 6: on like, I genuinely think you have a really good body.
• 5:02
  Speaker 6: And we sat there and we were like and we
• 5:04
  Speaker 6: just couldn't.
• 5:04
  Speaker 5: Hold it, and we were like, I feel like you can't.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: I got a good body, but you gotta be you
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: gotta be like you've got big muscles, like.
• 5:11
  Speaker 6: You've got to be specifically like I wanted to be
• 5:14
  Speaker 6: like you you.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Could the good bone structure and nice broad shoulders.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah skin, take the kids.
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: Men love a good like worker.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah that's so true.
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I feel like.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Such good work.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Okay, So I do have a few themes that I
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: want to touch on it honestly, if we'll even get
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: through them all, because we love going on a tangent.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: So but I had a few like random questions that
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I'm going to ask you, and then of course we
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: can go off on a tangent based on these questions.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: But the first one that I wanted to touch on
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: was things men think women care about that women actually don't.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Your perspective, so, what do you think is the biggest
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: thing that guys obsess over that women genuinely don't care.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: I already said it, muscles.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: I'm obsessed with the gym. I do it for myself now,
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: but when I was younger, I was doing it in
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: quotes the good girls like.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: The male gaze.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, more men notice that I work out than women do.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Yes, as well.
• 6:25
  Speaker 6: It's like if we're out in public and I see
• 6:26
  Speaker 6: a pretty fit man, like, I'll be the first to
• 6:30
  Speaker 6: make a comment, and then my girlfriend's like, yeah.
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: She just doesn't care. I'm like, look at that. I'm like,
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: oh my god, yes, that's what do you think?
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I know, I know it's true, and I feel like,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: you know, when people guys will put up on Instagram
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: or TikTok being like before and after which one, and
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: so many women are like you look great before, Like
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: you looked really good before, especially when guys do a cut,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: you know, so like they've got I think women like
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: when a guy's bulky but with a bit of fat
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: on him as well, like just a well rounded like
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: you know that rugby kind of built like that's but
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: then when they do that cut and they're so lean
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: and it's just muscle, I don't think we like that.
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: Oh there's a line.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: I don't want to speak for all of women.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: No, No, I agree, like I've cut two and like
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: I'm cutting for myself to see where I can get to.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: And then there becomes a moment where I'm like, I
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: don't think I look good anymore.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: No, you look like like a well fed man.
• 7:29
  Speaker 6: The best thing my girlfriend ever said to me was
• 7:31
  Speaker 6: that she's like, yeah, I just like she She just
• 7:34
  Speaker 6: said to me once, like I just you know what
• 7:36
  Speaker 6: I really like is if you were like yeah, and
• 7:40
  Speaker 6: when we first met, I was actually like bigger, and
• 7:43
  Speaker 6: so she she said to me, like when we first met, like,
• 7:46
  Speaker 6: and I've lost.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Weight since then, just like from not training.
• 7:49
  Speaker 6: H and I'm like, God, now I've got to compare
• 7:51
  Speaker 6: myself to the old media, to the old you.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: That's the thing. She's holding you to a standard that
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: she knows you're capable.
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: It's exactly right.
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: That's such a valid thing told me to.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, it's a fair standard.
• 8:01
  Speaker 6: Another another thing along these lines is I reckon being
• 8:07
  Speaker 6: like a provider, and they're just like, I.
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: Need to be a provider, and yes, I need to make.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: They're not face. Do you know what women, they don't
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: have to Again, not speaking for all women, but I
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: feel like we don't need to want to provide for us.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: We don't also want a leech, Like you need to
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: be driven and you need to make your own money.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: If you can support yourself comfortably, you don't have to
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: provide for me. Now, just rocket now, just come with
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: the goods of like personality banter.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, provide an emotional way.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: Emotional providers, that's yeah. When they're you know, someone who's
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: like listens to you when you need to vent, there's
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: nothing more attractive. You know something that Tyrone, my partner,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: has said to me when I get home and I'm like, oh,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: I'm so annoyed this thing happened. He's like, are we
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: venting or are we problem solving?
• 8:56
  Speaker 5: And I'm like.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: Partner with that one.
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: And she'll be like, have you watched A Modern Family?
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Yes, I'm watching it.
• 9:07
  Speaker 5: I actually have.
• 9:08
  Speaker 6: There's an episode where Phil goes to the salon and
• 9:12
  Speaker 6: there's women on either side of them, and and he's
• 9:14
  Speaker 6: talking about with Claire and he'll say something like this,
• 9:19
  Speaker 6: and then he'll go so if she says like, oh,
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: you know, the traffic's so bad, I shouldn't say leave earlier. No,
• 9:28
  Speaker 6: he goes home and she makes a comment or something
• 9:31
  Speaker 6: and he's and he's just like these children, they just
• 9:34
  Speaker 6: don't appreciate you. You do so much and like and
• 9:36
  Speaker 6: she's comedic, just like it is so fair. I have
• 9:41
  Speaker 6: times where like I e vent and my girlfriend will
• 9:45
  Speaker 6: give me logical solutions and I'm kind of like, that's
• 9:47
  Speaker 6: what I wanted to hear.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to be validated. I don't care.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: How show me being right now?
• 9:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I'm right.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: I'm always right.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: And that's emotional providing for exactly. So okay, and then
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: what's something that women think men care about but that
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: men barely notice?
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: Ooh, what's something women eyelashes.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, every girls always like you got such nice eyelashes,
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: and like I've never noticed.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so much.
• 10:18
  Speaker 6: Are you talking about, Like what's something that women think men? Yeah,
• 10:23
  Speaker 6: I about care about, but men don't care about that thing.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Yes, on a woman on.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: A woman, yes, all right, that's a good question. But
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: that's a good one for a man as well.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, on a woman.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: Okay, I mean because like that's a great question.
• 10:38
  Speaker 5: Actually, you know, I think.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: One of them is detail, because like men care about hair.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: For example, they know they like a hairstyle and they
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: know if they don't, but so often they won't notice
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: if you've got a haircut. So it's like if it's
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: in the realm of the kind of hair that I like,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to notice the details. Yeah, but I
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: don't know if that's the truth or not.
• 10:55
  Speaker 6: Look, I don't know in my opinion, Like there's there's
• 10:58
  Speaker 6: probably something and you know, like in the world of women,
• 11:05
  Speaker 6: or at least majority of women, like there's makeup and
• 11:07
  Speaker 6: then getting their hair done, nails and stuff like that,
• 11:09
  Speaker 6: but that's all for themselves, like that them feel good
• 11:11
  Speaker 6: getting a fake hand, like make my girlfriend feel more confident.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: You're doing You're not doing that for me or the
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: male gaze or whatever.
• 11:19
  Speaker 6: But I just feel like there's a lot of like
• 11:24
  Speaker 6: there's a common maybe a trend is the right world,
• 11:27
  Speaker 6: I don't know where women most likely are just doing
• 11:30
  Speaker 6: things for themselves and men kind of were doing things
• 11:33
  Speaker 6: for approval.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I.
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: Don't know if I can't think of one off the
• 11:36
  Speaker 5: top of my head. What about.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: Those massive water bottles?
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: Ah? Is that for attention?
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: I feel I feel like you need like a leader,
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: you need like a leader letter in half.
• 11:48
  Speaker 5: That's not a leader, not three.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: I mean, like I'm trying to think of that's the
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: only thing I think of. Yeah, I still appreciate a
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: hydrated queen, but like they might be thinking about that.
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: That's a good question.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: That's a good question. Yeah, I haven't.
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: I'm sorry, I don't have a good answer to that.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: No, it's fine. I just maybe that's because maybe it's
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: hard to realize something that you don't realize it's not there,
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Maybe that's whine.
• 12:15
  Speaker 6: Because like I guess, you know, I don't not that
• 12:18
  Speaker 6: I don't care, but like you know, if my girlfriend
• 12:21
  Speaker 6: weaves makeup or doesn't like doesn't affect the way I
• 12:23
  Speaker 6: look at her exactly has done. It doesn't affect way
• 12:26
  Speaker 6: I look at her totally thing.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, I don't know. Well that's great.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Maybe yeah, well maybe it's because you guys are good.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: Since now have you ever changed your behavior because you
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: thought women wanted it only to realize that they didn't
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: want you to change your behavior?
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: Had to have been when I was younger, for sure.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's got to be a case.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: I think when I was younger, I've always been like
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: a quiet, shy kid, and when I first started drinking,
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: I'm maybe tried to put on a persona of who
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: I wasn't and be like confirmed, totally full of myself
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: and then in the end like being myself and articulate
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: with my emotions and if you got me one on one,
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: that's what maybe they were looking for and not this cocky.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: And then you think like I'm pushing everyone away, Yes,
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: because they don't. I can relate to that when I
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: was younger, like early twenties, when you especially when you'd
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: like someone and you'd think, Okay, who do I think
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: they would like? And I'll try and be that and
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: then it's never and then they're not interested, and you're like,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: I wonder if I've just been myself.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: It's because when you're dating, too, you you beat the
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: version you think they want you to be rather than
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: who you actually are. Well, when you are young and dating,
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: you do that, but then you realize, like, no, I'm
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: just gonna be unapologetically myself. Yeah, and then even take
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: it or leave.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: It, that's right, because like, if it's going to go somewhere, eventually,
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have to revert back to myself.
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: Dilemma.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: What it was that lie about the other day? She's
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: been lying about something? No, wait, we had.
• 13:56
  Speaker 6: If this is what you think about it is someone
• 13:58
  Speaker 6: send a dilemmas you were saying, I have been lying
• 14:01
  Speaker 6: to my boyfriend for ten months, no that I have
• 14:04
  Speaker 6: my license?
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: What?
• 14:06
  Speaker 6: Yeah, And we were good and to be fair though
• 14:11
  Speaker 6: by the end of the dilemma, we were like he knows, Yeah,
• 14:14
  Speaker 6: he knows, and he just doesn't care.
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: She had a car and everything just sitting in the driveway,
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: and yeah, it's never moved.
• 14:18
  Speaker 6: She's literally bought a vehicles, like she just said, Like,
• 14:22
  Speaker 6: I think she just tells him like she's scared to drive.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: She doesn't work, so definitely.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: But that's a great example of like where you lie
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: about Yeah, I think he'll care, but he doesn't care.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: But they don't care. Imagine if she's turned around and
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: said I don't have my license we said, he would
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: have been like, weird that you lied about it.
• 14:37
  Speaker 6: I've fallen a victim to the to think in that,
• 14:41
  Speaker 6: like being nonchalant is kind of what's going to keep
• 14:45
  Speaker 6: someone keen.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I said, even though it's not a word, but
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: be chalant.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: I agree, And there should be. It should be a word.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: We looked it up. It's not a word.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: It sounds like a pickle, like something like you've seen
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: a jar a chalant A.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: Chalant one time.
• 15:02
  Speaker 6: So I used to drive a hyand I get a
• 15:06
  Speaker 6: very little carve it and so I was like a
• 15:08
  Speaker 6: bit embarrassed about how small it was, and like, yeah,
• 15:12
  Speaker 6: just I don't know it has been embarrassed about it.
• 15:13
  Speaker 6: And so before I met my girlfriend, I like quite
• 15:19
  Speaker 6: a year or two before I met her, I was
• 15:21
  Speaker 6: going on a date with another woman and I I it.
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: Was it was probably knew was coming.
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: So I actually.
• 15:36
  Speaker 6: I asked if I could borrow my stepmom's car because
• 15:38
  Speaker 6: I didn't want to show up in my car, but
• 15:39
  Speaker 6: she cared.
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: She wouldn't have cared about that.
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: I don't want to be with that type of anyway.
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: That's that's the thing.
• 15:44
  Speaker 6: And then with my girlfriend Bethany, I don't know if
• 15:47
  Speaker 6: I just had grown but I just like I just
• 15:50
  Speaker 6: took my car first date, Like I just was like, yeah,
• 15:53
  Speaker 6: this is my car, and.
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: She didn't care.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: It helped.
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: She didn't know she didn't.
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: Have a license, so she would have been like, I'll
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: take what I could get.
• 16:01
  Speaker 5: It was a perfect match.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: It was great.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: It is the perfect usages.
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, she said like that, where's your She.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: Didn't ever like to stand on that one.
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, now let's talk about misunderstood male behavior. What do
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: you think is a male behavior that it's labeled as
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: toxic when it's actually an insecurity Oh.
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: My god, everything are you talking about?
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: Just all things?
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we're very I think mislabeled. Maybe it isn't even
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: the right word. I think maybe a lot of the
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: time it is toxic.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: But because it stems from an insecurity, I think most
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: toxic behavior is initially security.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Yea, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why toxicity.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: Well, the main one is like being scared about your
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: partner on a night out, like your insecurity that, oh,
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: you're not confident in yourself, so you say, hey, like
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: you've got to be home by ten o'clock or some shit,
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: or always checking every half an hour to make sure
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: you're not fucking hooking up with another boy.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: That's coming from my old men's insecurities in themselves, and
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: they're not confident.
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: In themselves, not confident enough that their partner would just
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: want to be with him for them, yeah, exactly, looking for.
• 17:11
  Speaker 6: Something better, like not confident enough for that. Or it's
• 17:14
  Speaker 6: always like they know deep down that like they could
• 17:17
  Speaker 6: be better.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's like there is better men than me
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: out there, so she might actually find one.
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: How's this for crazy? I once dareded this guy. I
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: was like eighteen at the time or nineteen, so it
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: was short lived, thank god, but he was so like
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: this this. I used to never wear eyeshadow to this day,
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: I don't. I don't wear it that often. But it
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: was his birthday and we're all going out to some
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: club and I put on eyeshadow and he blew up
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: at me. Mindres's birthday, and he was like, who are
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: you wearing eyeshadow for because you never wear it from them.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: I'm like, firstly, it's your birthday, so but like he
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: lost it thinking that I was trying to impress one
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: of his friends that might be there because I never
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: see his like crazy behavior.
• 17:55
  Speaker 6: Yeah aware, I think, yeah, look there's I So I've
• 17:59
  Speaker 6: never I've never told a girlfriend like, you're wearing that
• 18:04
  Speaker 6: for other people, But I am like full transparency. There's
• 18:08
  Speaker 6: been times where in like past relationships where I have thought,
• 18:10
  Speaker 6: like in my head that like, why else would.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: You be wearing that? Because I just was like almost.
• 18:16
  Speaker 6: Not mature enough to realize that, Like she feels good
• 18:19
  Speaker 6: in that, and she feels confident and really confident.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's funny because like the girls often if
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: it's a girl's like we have like girls Christmas once
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: a year and we go away for three days and whatever.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: And that's when I probably put the most evident into
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: my outfits. And it's we never leave the house. It's
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: literally ten of us or twelve of us in the house.
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: We never leave, and we dress up like crazy.
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: There's no start other women will appreciate it. Men might notice.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's so true, Like you said, I just gass
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: each other up. I'm loving this. Yes, so that's okay.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Why okay, this is this is one that i'd love
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: your perspective on. Why do men okay, sorry, when do
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: men pull away because they're losing interest? The because they're overwhelmed,
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: because you know, sometimes they give like mixed messages and
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: they'll be like, no, no, I actually am interested, but
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: it's just I don't know how to deal with this
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: and versus and we're talking about the men that can't
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: actually communicate and say straight up, yeah, what's going on.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: I feel like I've done this in the past.
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: It's an excuse.
• 19:16
  Speaker 6: I feel like, in my opinion at least, what am
• 19:21
  Speaker 6: I supposed to say, I'm not basing this off any
• 19:23
  Speaker 6: scientific journal.
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: That I've read.
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: Observation is mass generalizations in the scientific journal.
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: Put that out there. You heard it on the right.
• 19:35
  Speaker 6: I think, like, who's pulling away because it's like just
• 19:39
  Speaker 6: they're overwhelmed.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: That's what I think.
• 19:41
  Speaker 6: You know what I mean, Like if you're like, oh,
• 19:44
  Speaker 6: I'm just so overwhelmed, like it's just too much.
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: It's like you're literally making it so like.
• 19:49
  Speaker 6: Let's say I'm I'm dating a girl and then I'm
• 19:52
  Speaker 6: like it's overwhelming me, and I'm like, I'm pulling away,
• 19:56
  Speaker 6: and then she's like, why are you pulling away? It's
• 19:57
  Speaker 6: just so overwhelming, it's going too fast. I'm like putting
• 20:00
  Speaker 6: blame on her. Yeah, you know what I mean. So
• 20:02
  Speaker 6: I just think, like, in my opinion, at least, there's
• 20:05
  Speaker 6: no such thing as like being overwhelmed, like you just
• 20:07
  Speaker 6: don't mind interested.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: I've a rebuttal of that. I reckon I've done it too,
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: overwhelmed in a sense of like I'm scared of my
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: own emotions. I've talked to cover your ears, Cassie lovely
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: girls in the past, and I didn't pursue that because
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: what I was I was afraid of my own emotions
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: and like committing them really.
• 20:28
  Speaker 5: To someone else, that's fair.
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: And I would pull away because I'm like, I don't
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: want to step over the line where it means I've
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: like actually have to like start to love you or
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: something like that. Okay, I wasn't ready to deal with
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: the emotion of love.
• 20:38
  Speaker 5: Is it?
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Because?
• 20:39
  Speaker 7: Okay, But you wouldn't have said that to them, no way,
• 20:41
  Speaker 7: you would have just like did you.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Actually like them? Or were you thinking I'm scared to
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: invest something in this and then it turns out that
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: I don't like them after investing time, and then I
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: feel bad hurting them.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: That's the great debate.
• 20:55
  Speaker 6: Wait, here's the thing though, Like how do I say this,
• 21:03
  Speaker 6: because like when.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: You started talking to your girl to Cassie, yeah, I
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: never felt that once.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: You didn't feel that once I knew she was the one,
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: So I guess the Bandah, I hadn't felt that previously.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: But there weren't any other issues with the other women.
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: I'm saying there was a couple of like we didn't match,
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: but they would love the girls in the yes too,
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: and I pulled away because of my insecurities anything to
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: do with her.
• 21:24
  Speaker 6: If I would give actually you is it benefit of
• 21:27
  Speaker 6: doubt or just like I'll just be on your side
• 21:29
  Speaker 6: for one of them. There was one where a woman
• 21:33
  Speaker 6: threw her insecurities onto Oddie. And then, to be fair,
• 21:36
  Speaker 6: you didn't end up by saying this is too much.
• 21:38
  Speaker 6: You just ended up by being like, we are not
• 21:39
  Speaker 6: a match.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: Honestly.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: Well, I remember that. That's it's kind of slipping as well.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: I remember I was playing soccer and I tore my
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: l c L outside of my knee and I was
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: in hospital. I ended up going home like three am,
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: and I didn't apply to her text messages just because
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: I was going through all that. And then the next
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: morning she just started blowing up with me, blown up
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: at me, saying like I didn't know you were where
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: you were, like where you were doing and blah blah
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: blah blah, and I like to pitch my leg. I
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: was like I was in the hospitals.
• 22:03
  Speaker 5: Just put it out.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: Fucking insecurities on me and I was like, I can't
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: deal with this. No, And it was the thing in
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: the opposite flip.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: And it's it's sometimes nice to be nice. It's probably
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: not the right word, but it's it's good to have
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: those moments early on where it's tested and it's like,
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: how do you deal with this? Like is your initial
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: reaction to be like you've done something dodgy? Or is
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: your initial reaction to be like, oh my god, I
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: wonder what happened to do they lose their phone? Like
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: what's your And then that lets you kind of know
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: how they deal with you know, are they going to
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: bring the insecurities into it or not? Yeah, yeah, okay,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: let's talk about it. I love doing this Red flag debate.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to mention something. You've got to tell
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: me why you think it's a red flag or not.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes, you've come to the right place.
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: Okay, let's get someone who replies within five seconds every
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: time to a text message.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Wait, are you saying that's a red flag or can
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: we do you think it is or not?
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: I like that that's not a red flag. Yeah, that's
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: great communication.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: As long as they don't expect it back, then it's fine.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 22:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: If I'm making applying every five seconds and then Jake
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: takes half, now I'm like, you're like your.
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: Phone, yeah, I think that's flag.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, I think so.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: And it's like you're not scared of like societal norms.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: And coming across it's too strong you want.
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: To be if that's who you are, quite far.
• 23:14
  Speaker 6: I love that, Like I can leave a text for
• 23:16
  Speaker 6: two days, Like text messages give me anxiety. This guy
• 23:19
  Speaker 6: has to reply, not instantly, but like he needs to
• 23:22
  Speaker 6: reply orls.
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: He can't not think about it.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: Oh see, I wish I was more like that. I'm
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: more like you. If I get especially if I get
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: a couple in a row, then I'm like no, and
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I procrastinate hard on text messages and emails.
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: It's really bad for me.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't still follows their ex.
• 23:41
  Speaker 6: Okay, I want to say, up until I'm still leaning
• 23:48
  Speaker 6: towards red flag flag, I don't know where you're going to.
• 23:50
  Speaker 5: This is the thing.
• 23:51
  Speaker 6: Okay, I think red flag because like why, that's my question.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: But the debate is that people say that's such good memories,
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: and I was like, cool, they're in your brain, you
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: don't need them on.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Your f Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean that's
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: how I look at you know, when like people keep
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: photos of their x on their social media. That's how
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: like I always would delete my exit on social media.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: But people say, well, it's part of my life, it's
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: part of my history. I'm like, yeah, that's what you
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: have a memory. Like, That's how I would always look
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: at it. But now I'm a bit more. You know,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: everyone's got their own experiences, so I don't judge that anymore.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: But I used to be like, wrong.
• 24:26
  Speaker 6: Look, I agree, I'm indifferent to it now, but there
• 24:30
  Speaker 6: was definitely a time where I would have been like,
• 24:32
  Speaker 6: ten toes down, that's a red flag.
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: I still think it is a bit of a red
• 24:36
  Speaker 5: flag is.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: There a line you're married, don't you engage? Sorry, where's
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: the line in the sense of, like, your life is
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: going this way? What do I still need to follow
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: my ex? You're getting Yeah, if you become married and
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: you're still following your ex like it was such good memories.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Like it's I know, that's what I think. But then
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: like what if they also had I guess like mutual
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: friends and this and that and what it like. It's
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: a hard one, isn't it is?
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: It is? It's very like to be fair like hill
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: if you.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: Love that, if.
• 25:06
  Speaker 6: You're if the person you're with doesn't care, I'm not
• 25:10
  Speaker 6: going to judge you. Yeah, but I just I also
• 25:12
  Speaker 6: think that if the person you're with cares, I think
• 25:15
  Speaker 6: it's a valid thing to care about.
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, totally, Like if I mean, I don't follow any
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: of my exes, but if I did and my partnent
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: was like kind of weird because you're not even their
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: friend anymore, then I'd be like, yeah, that's actually true.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: What do I need to keep up with their life?
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: If I don't, you know, like when you follow people
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: unless they're a celebrity, but you're not in each other's
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: lives anymore at all in any capacity.
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that is so true.
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like you follow a celebrity because it's parasocial.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, and they provide entertainment or something.
• 25:43
  Speaker 7: You know.
• 25:43
  Speaker 5: I'm back on this.
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Flag.
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: I'm the man with no opinion, have an opinion.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: His chalange now.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: Never posts their partner red flag. Yeah, I think I
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: think big time.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: It's a massive reflav and like I remember, like.
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: Unless you literally don't have any posts, yeah.
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: Then that have to have zero I remember, or you're
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: a photographer, your post mountains yea.
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I regret when I first started started dating
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: my girlfriend, I had a bait debate and I don't
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: think I handled it great in a sense of like
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: sharing her or our relationship online with the podcast. I
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: just didn't handle it well at all, I think in
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: a sense of like I didn't not do it, but
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: I didn't. It didn't seem like I was so proud
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: of the relationship, which I was proud of. Yeah, and
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: took me like an extra couple of weeks for a
• 26:35
  Speaker 3: month to do so. And I feel bad about that
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: looking back on it.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's nice that you can reflect.
• 26:39
  Speaker 6: Yeah, great refrac I remember it is audio and I
• 26:42
  Speaker 6: actually so Audio met his girlfriend probably two three months
• 26:47
  Speaker 6: before I met mine. Yeah about that, maybe not even
• 26:50
  Speaker 6: that long yet, yeah, say two months or whatever.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: And how long have you guys been together with your partners?
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: Three years?
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: November?
• 26:57
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I was two years this January just gone quicker, okay, Yeah.
• 27:06
  Speaker 5: But I remember having a conversation.
• 27:07
  Speaker 6: So when we actually both met our girlfriends was when
• 27:11
  Speaker 6: the podcast started to like blow up a bit blown
• 27:14
  Speaker 6: up on social media, and so we were starting to
• 27:17
  Speaker 6: get like followers on the relatables like TikTok Instagram and
• 27:21
  Speaker 6: then also on our like personal social media. And I
• 27:24
  Speaker 6: remember when I first started going on dates and hanging
• 27:27
  Speaker 6: out with my girlfriend Bethany, we had a conversation of like,
• 27:30
  Speaker 6: I just remember being like, I don't know, like what.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: It's like to have followers.
• 27:37
  Speaker 6: So we just like initially spoke about it, and after
• 27:42
  Speaker 6: I don't know, we just kind of were like, yeah,
• 27:45
  Speaker 6: let's we'll just like chill on posting each other for
• 27:47
  Speaker 6: a while.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: But then one day it was like we just knew
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: and we were.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: Just like, yeah, exactly. I feel like once you get
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: to that comfort stage as well, yeah, like.
• 27:55
  Speaker 6: A big red flag if you post a lot and
• 27:57
  Speaker 6: you have a partner and then never in it because
• 28:00
  Speaker 6: there are few life exactly exactly.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: And if it's obviously early days and you're keeping your
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: you know, you're keeping the people that are closest to you.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: You know, like if you've got all these followers that
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: are really interested in everything that you do, then yeah,
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: you might want to like hold off a bit because
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: it's like, oh, it's the barrage of questions whatever. But
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: in general, if you're not like followed by people that
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: you don't know personally, and you're not if it's.
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: Just like an extension of your life, like it's not
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: a job, even though that's a bad debate, but if
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: that's for most people listening.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Totally, then it would be a bit proud.
• 28:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah, be so weird, I.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Agree, Yeah, okay, red flag or not wants to split
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: every bill?
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: Oh everyone split every bill?
• 28:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, a bit of a red flag.
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna say red Yeah.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: It's a place to like pay.
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: You might shout your partners both ways.
• 28:48
  Speaker 6: If let's if I so, if you ask someone on
• 28:52
  Speaker 6: a date, if you asked them to take time out
• 28:54
  Speaker 6: of their life to go on a date, yes, pay
• 28:56
  Speaker 6: for it.
• 28:56
  Speaker 5: What are you doing splitting that.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: For So, I was told talking to Tyrone about this,
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: and he's very passionate on the idea that the man
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: should always pay the first couple of dates. He's like,
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: because it just he goes, when you're in a committed relationship,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: of course you're going to pull your your income and whatever,
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: and you you know, you share rent and all of that.
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: That's fine, he goes, But at the start, you want
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: to show that you want to provide, even if it's
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: not needed. You want to show that you're like, I
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: have the resources, I can you know you want to,
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: He's like, for me, that's just how I was raised.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: I will always, always, always pay the first couple of dates.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: At least obviously I loved that, but I can see,
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: you know, some people say, well what if I don't
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: have the income for that, And he's like, no, well
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: then you take them out for ice cream. You don't
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: have to take them out for the most expensive dating
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: the world. It's a gesture that shows I want to
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: do this for you.
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: Do you think it's good too for the women to
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: not expect it.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: I think it's good to not expect it. Yeah, totally totally.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: Like going into dating and being like I want everything
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: paid for.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: No, God no, And and like I when I started
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: dating Tyrone, I offered to pay even the first dinner,
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: like you know, literally like was like seriously pulling my
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: card out and he's like, absolutely, please don't. And it
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: wasn't until like several dates in that he then let
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: me pay after I insisted for a bit. But I
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: was always open to I mean, if he had let
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: me pay for the whole dinner, I would have like,
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: you literally chased me down for my number and literally
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: was like begging. So I would have been like, that's barked. Imagine, imagine.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I think I think, yeah, if you're initiating
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: the first date, I think it is a nice gesture
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: I think today, but as in a relationship, I think
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: it should. Like splitting is always weird, even with Tyrone,
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: you know. I mean, now we've got pulled in you know,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: joint accounts and stuff, but even before that, I'm like,
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: either you pay or I pay. We're not doing this Dutch.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: That's weird in my degree. It's like I would I
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: don't think I've ever actually split one.
• 30:52
  Speaker 6: No, It's like that's all if we really want to
• 30:55
  Speaker 6: do it, that way, it's like, well, we'll just alternate
• 30:58
  Speaker 6: exactly who pays for each date.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: Totally, totally, totally.
• 31:01
  Speaker 5: What's with like that?
• 31:02
  Speaker 6: It's almost like a primal thing, Like why is it that, like,
• 31:05
  Speaker 6: as a man, I need to pay for the first take?
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: I don't know, like I do, you know what, like
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: when you look at the bigger, bigger, bigger picture things.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: If I look at now, because I have kids with Tyrone,
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: not that you would have known that on the first
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: date that we would end up having children together, but
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: I do like the fact that someone shows you know,
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: you know you're gonna have my kids, You're gonna this.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: I want to. I want to be able to provide
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: for you, and if I don't need to, that's fine.
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: But if we do end up having a family and
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: you can't work for a period of time because you're
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: pregnant or having children, I want to then meet you
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: where you've met me, like you know. So I do
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: like that part of the relationship. But obviously in a
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: first date, you're not even gonna know that, You're not
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: gonna know we're gonna actually have kids with every person I'm.
• 31:53
  Speaker 5: Do, you know what I mean?
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: I do like that give and take, but it's not
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: to say that you want to fall into the stereotypical
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: roles that I.
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: Always think, like what comes around goes around to especially
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: in a relationship, like you do this, they do that.
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: It's not tit for tat, but it always just works
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: out in a sense. Definitely with the communication too.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: With friendships. With my best friend, we never split the bill,
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: she shouts, I shouted.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: We have never been like that.
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: Either.
• 32:18
  Speaker 6: We have one friend that's like one of those real
• 32:20
  Speaker 6: sticklers for like, you know, transfer me.
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: To the last cent and.
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: Once again to me, that just feels like an effort.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: Yes, we have a joint bank account for relatables and Jake,
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: Jake has it on his phone, so he always pays
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: and makes me it's still half my money, but makes
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: me feel special.
• 32:39
  Speaker 7: I was gonna ask you that is your fiance ever,
• 32:43
  Speaker 7: even though if you do if you go on dates,
• 32:45
  Speaker 7: it's assumans from.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: Your joy joint account.
• 32:47
  Speaker 5: Yeah, when you go on dates.
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: There was he kind of like, I got this.
• 32:52
  Speaker 1: And sometimes I said to especially if you go to
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: a restaurant oft and I'm like, can you be the
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: one that pays this time? Because it looks like I'm
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: always paying. It's but it looks like we're just.
• 33:02
  Speaker 3: Going to joint account in my relations so I'm keen
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: to get there, like can you pay? It looks like
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: and then you're always like.
• 33:09
  Speaker 6: That. Know.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: I think it's always going to be a debate. I
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: think it's like around like who pays and who?
• 33:15
  Speaker 6: But whenever we if Addie and I go on, it's
• 33:20
  Speaker 6: it's pretty rare now that both Adie, myself and both
• 33:23
  Speaker 6: our girlfriends in the same place and we go out
• 33:24
  Speaker 6: for dinner somewhere. But if we ever do I always
• 33:28
  Speaker 6: one thing I always try and do is I try
• 33:30
  Speaker 6: and rush off and pay without joint bank account, not
• 33:32
  Speaker 6: his joint bank account, so I look like I'm paying,
• 33:35
  Speaker 6: but it's just both.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Of us, and then you look like here off the ground.
• 33:37
  Speaker 5: I look like here.
• 33:38
  Speaker 6: And then I come back and he goes, oh, do
• 33:39
  Speaker 6: you pay for that? And I was like yeah, and
• 33:40
  Speaker 6: he goes, oh, wait, did we pay for that? He
• 33:42
  Speaker 6: makes sure he gets that wording.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: It's like I also paid for that.
• 33:47
  Speaker 5: I'm just gonna start lying be like no, no, no,
• 33:49
  Speaker 5: I got this.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: One, yeah exactly, and then you can Yeah.
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: Business means for the government yeah, all the stuff.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: All the stuff are like what a champion this guy
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: shouting like yeah, yeah, it's.
• 34:00
  Speaker 5: The good feeling.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: Since since Okay, when someone says I'm not looking for
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: anything serious and they're in their late thirties.
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: Oh okay, I like I want an opinion.
• 34:21
  Speaker 6: I'm leaning heavily towards like that's a red flag because like,
• 34:30
  Speaker 6: you've had what do you like, You've had so much
• 34:32
  Speaker 6: time to figure it out.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: But at the same time, it's like, I mean, who
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: am I to judge?
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: You really well.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: Like their life experience, like I guess if they had
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: a good reasoning behind it.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: And also you think, in what scenario are you having
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: that kind of a conversation with someone You've obviously spent
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: a bit of time with them, you've obviously had It's
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: not like a one night stand, because you wouldn't say
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: that to one night stand. I think you both mutually
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: agree on a one night stand. We're just here for
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: a good time. So you've obviously repeatedly been dating this person.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: But then you're like, oh, I'm actually not looking for
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: anything serious. So you're dating, you're committing X amounts of time,
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: but you're not go through.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: Life differently, but also like, if you're thirty in dating
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: someone else who's thirty, more than likely they're probably looking
• 35:12
  Speaker 3: to maybe settle down soon totally, And like if you're not,
• 35:15
  Speaker 3: you're gonna have to start dating someone way younger. Then
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: that's weird and that's a red flag.
• 35:18
  Speaker 6: That's a red flag at any age if you have
• 35:21
  Speaker 6: been dating someone for like even if it's a couple
• 35:24
  Speaker 6: of weeks, and then after that couple weeks, you're like,
• 35:28
  Speaker 6: by the way, I'm not looking.
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: For anything serious, like it should be.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: It's such a it's selfish.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: And it's bullshit because it's like I would rather someone
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: say we are not a match, and because I'm looking
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: for something serious, we shouldn't continue that. To me, I respect,
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: it's scary because I'm like, you're actually looking for something
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: that's right, You're not wasting anywhere.
• 35:45
  Speaker 6: A lot of like usually men, a lot of men
• 35:48
  Speaker 6: just want someone that they can just have sex with,
• 35:51
  Speaker 6: like they.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Want the and be a companion with no commitment.
• 35:54
  Speaker 6: They want like relationship perks on a just nonit on
• 36:01
  Speaker 6: a non committal way.
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: A split split date.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so m and to me that's a red flag.
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I'm lucky in red yep.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: Love that I've got another one I haven't written down here.
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: But when men who are like forty date and eighteen
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: year old and sets because they.
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: Have so much in common, Okay, I'm not gonna lie,
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: just like my insides squirm at it. No, because like
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: there's there's okay.
• 36:30
  Speaker 6: So if you know that you have so much in
• 36:32
  Speaker 6: common with an eighteen year old, for some reason, my
• 36:34
  Speaker 6: mind just goes straight to like, you groomed them, You groomed.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Them, and are you hanging out with eighten year old men?
• 36:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah?
• 36:39
  Speaker 6: Like so that my mind just goes straight towards like
• 36:41
  Speaker 6: you've groomed this woman?
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: Yes, Like what are you doing?
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: I think that even being a conversation and have those intentions,
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: like I could say some very disgusting things, but very weird.
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: I think if you're a man and you're that age
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: and you're having say you're at work or some shit,
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: and your intentions are like she's fit and you're four
• 37:00
  Speaker 3: and she's eight eight, you're gross.
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: You're a pat of us.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah about legally, I think.
• 37:05
  Speaker 6: I think it is definitely like I'm twenty six, right,
• 37:08
  Speaker 6: so the age gap between eighteen and forty.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: Is twenty two years right, I'm twenty six. Imagine if
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: I pointed at a sixteen year old and I was like,
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: she's fit.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's literally illegal.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah I know, I know. And that's even like a.
• 37:23
  Speaker 5: Small age, and that's ten years.
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: We picked up on something in our dilemmas. So we've
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: had dilemmas like that, Like I found the one who's like,
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: he's like forty and I'm twenty. It's all legal, and
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: we're like, if you ever have to say it's legal,
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: it's weird.
• 37:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, if you have to remind us, if you have
• 37:35
  Speaker 6: to say, don't worry, guys, it's legal, we're.
• 37:37
  Speaker 5: Like, that's us, I know.
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: And I feel like.
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: That means you're on the cast.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: And the narrative that a lot of those men say.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh, well, you know, it's just that older
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: women are like I was having this conversation with Lucy Nikki.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Actually they'll say, you know, older, It's just that women
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: who are older, like in their thirties and stuff, are
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: like they're more scorned, they've been burnt in relationships. It's like,
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: so you're now going to prey on women who are
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: have not had bad experiences yet you're going to be
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: that bad experience for them. And because they're more native,
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: because they're just younger, they haven't had those experiences. So
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: they literally say, I don't want to date someone who's
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: thirty because she she's scorned. But that just tells me
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: you're the red flag. You're scorning, scorn off, and then
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: you don't want someone who can like pick your behavior
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: a mile away.
• 38:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah, you want a young, naive young and also like
• 38:24
  Speaker 6: when you're forty, I mean I hope you have a
• 38:27
  Speaker 6: little bit of money by then.
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know, so much easier.
• 38:29
  Speaker 6: It's also major power dynamic. It's not major major power
• 38:34
  Speaker 6: dynamics in that situation.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: Think about it.
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: It just goes like it's simply I'm sure there's plenty
• 38:38
  Speaker 3: of single people around your age.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: But that's why that's why they don't want to date them,
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: because the single women their age can be like your toxic.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: What did say about it?
• 38:48
  Speaker 5: Oh?
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: They were like, it's absolutely okay.
• 38:51
  Speaker 5: They would have maybe laughed at their comments.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: Like no, no, no, they were like yeah, no, no,
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: major red fight. Okay. Delusions, Okay, what's the most delusional
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: thing you've believed that while dating.
• 39:08
  Speaker 5: That I was going to say that our podcasts would.
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: Work or Okay, is it delusional that, like, so, my
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: my girlfriend followed me on Instagram and it came up,
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: let you follow me?
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: And I looked at the account and I was like, whoa,
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: I followed her back? Right? Is it delusional that I
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: was thinking like she's the one?
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: I don't think it is, because.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: I mean, you can say no, but it can be.
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: And it also can't be because I know many people
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: that have met their partners on Instagram. So then how
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: delusional is it when you've got evidence?
• 39:48
  Speaker 5: You know? Yeah?
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: I feels the question for you, all right, were you
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: thinking this with any other good one follow you? No,
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: you weren't delusional. But if girls were following you, and
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: they were every single one, I thought of every single.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: Beautiful woman that follows you, you thought, Oh.
• 40:04
  Speaker 6: No, I can actually say, like hand on heart, where
• 40:07
  Speaker 6: that Beth is the only one that where my mind
• 40:10
  Speaker 6: just like went there for some reason.
• 40:12
  Speaker 5: That's pretty good, I would say. Also, after the first date,
• 40:14
  Speaker 5: I was like locked in.
• 40:15
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm locked in.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: You're like, we've got yeah, I don't think them.
• 40:18
  Speaker 6: Okay, Well, then I'm even going to say I haven't
• 40:21
  Speaker 6: had any delusions. Great, I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: I'm wrong.
• 40:26
  Speaker 6: I had a so I've had two girlfriends. So I've
• 40:31
  Speaker 6: had three girlfriends too prior to my and in my
• 40:37
  Speaker 6: first relationship, it it got quite toxic, and I just
• 40:42
  Speaker 6: thought like, this is what love is. I just was
• 40:45
  Speaker 6: like convinced. I was like, this is was my first time,
• 40:47
  Speaker 6: this is what love is?
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: Was it like jealous and jealousy?
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: So she was quite jealous.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: And then you start having that way and.
• 40:56
  Speaker 6: I don't know, yeah, I almost like sometimes I like
• 40:59
  Speaker 6: tried to be je us, almost like out of spite
• 41:01
  Speaker 6: because she was a jealous person and I was like, God,
• 41:03
  Speaker 6: this is how does she do this?
• 41:06
  Speaker 5: Jesus? No.
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: I feel like when you are young, though, like however,
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: you first experienced love, you think that's normal and you
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: got unlucky and drew a short straw and it was
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: toxic love and you were like, oh, yeah, this is
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: fucking whateveryone goes through. In reality, it was a delusion.
• 41:22
  Speaker 5: I was like, that was hard.
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: I was going to say was hard?
• 41:25
  Speaker 5: That would be are so hard work?
• 41:28
  Speaker 6: Yeah, And then we're like they're actually pretty easy when
• 41:31
  Speaker 6: you enjoy it.
• 41:32
  Speaker 3: They're easy when you're in love.
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: They're easy when you both like each other, you know
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: on the shirt. Yeah, that's your next that's we get.
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: A lot of lemmons, and it's sad truth. It's just
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: like I don't think a lot of men like women
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: full stop, no evident. They just like what they offer.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: It's very true. That's yeah, yeah, we're talking about that.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: My next question was because you get it's called the
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: lemmas where people question, she was the most delusional thing
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: you've heard from your listeners, So what's the most would
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: have so many?
• 42:05
  Speaker 6: Holy cheah, we'd have to go recent because of our memory.
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: We do to every episode pretty much for four years.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you thous so much delusional thing.
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: That some of the age gaps would be up there.
• 42:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there is. We've had a couple of big age
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: gap ones.
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: What's a crazy one we can remember?
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: Dang it? I wish that we could. That's the most
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: delusional thing.
• 42:28
  Speaker 6: Here's the thing is, though, like we were, we're so
• 42:32
  Speaker 6: biased towards our listeners that were like always on their side,
• 42:35
  Speaker 6: and recently we've had to be like, okay, guy, we
• 42:37
  Speaker 6: actually have to call you guys out and some ship too, like.
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: Totally we're so bad at doing that totally. Oh we
• 42:42
  Speaker 5: were so biased towards our own listeners.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: I think the delusions One was like I can't remember
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: the exact context, but oh I have one after this,
• 42:52
  Speaker 3: you go, she was seeing a man and I think
• 42:56
  Speaker 3: they broke up. Nothing terrible happened, but she was trying
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: to find validation in having a threesome.
• 43:02
  Speaker 5: After it, not with him.
• 43:04
  Speaker 3: But no with two other two others, two others. And
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: she was trying to get usd to say like it
• 43:08
  Speaker 3: was the right thing to do, and.
• 43:10
  Speaker 5: I was We were like, we'll hold up.
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: We were like, I like this stuck with in rock
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: and a hard place, Like to your life, do whatever
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: you want. But like maybe you did it because your heartbroken,
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: not because you want to have three.
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: Two that's right. I'm like, more power to you if
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: that's always been the way you wanted to you know,
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: what you wanted to explore. But it's a bit of.
• 43:29
  Speaker 3: That was quite Yeah, that was quite delusional that she
• 43:31
  Speaker 3: just did it out of spy and like that's the
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: worst thing at xcitever here and that's probably why she
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: did it.
• 43:35
  Speaker 5: She wanted it to get back to him.
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's terrible.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, for to do it for those.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: Reasons or a broader range.
• 43:43
  Speaker 6: A lot of our dilemmas start off with I've been
• 43:46
  Speaker 6: with my boyfriend for one year, two years, however many
• 43:48
  Speaker 6: years are right. He's amazing, he loves me, he's the
• 43:52
  Speaker 6: best boyfriend I ever had. And then with a big
• 43:55
  Speaker 6: but but he does this blah blah blah, And so
• 43:58
  Speaker 6: where I think the most delusional thing is that, like
• 44:00
  Speaker 6: what they're trying to do is first soften the blow
• 44:03
  Speaker 6: of what they're about to tell us their boyfriend does,
• 44:07
  Speaker 6: and then they're like, they want us to be like,
• 44:08
  Speaker 6: you should definitely stay with him. Yes, and we're quite off.
• 44:12
  Speaker 6: Initially we would never tell anyone to break up. We'd
• 44:14
  Speaker 6: be like, look in this scenario, I would break up
• 44:17
  Speaker 6: with my girlfriend if she was doing this to me,
• 44:18
  Speaker 6: but like, you need to make that choice.
• 44:20
  Speaker 5: And now we're like, fuck that guy, break up with it.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: I'm like, listen, I can't tell you to break up
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: with him.
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: I break up all the time. I always, And that's
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: what I like.
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: Love you guys so much, but they so many of
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: my listeners, so many of you guys will write in
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: and you sing your partner's praises before opening up about
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: like really bad stuff. It's like the bar is.
• 44:41
  Speaker 6: So low, like if you have to, it's like it's
• 44:44
  Speaker 6: like prefacing some of them. How they're like, look, big
• 44:46
  Speaker 6: age gap, don't worry, it's legal. It's like, if you
• 44:48
  Speaker 6: have to preface something before, it's just to soften the blow.
• 44:51
  Speaker 5: Terrible.
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: It's like it's kind of like how you always put
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: someone on a pedestal, or you see the future of
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: them being your boyfriend, and you want us to see
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: that future even though what they're doing is so wrong.
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: That's right, that's right, And that's why so many people
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: when they're in really unhealthy relationships, that's why they hide
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: so much of the bad stuff because they're thinking there's
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: another delusion. They're thinking, well, if this all iron's out
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: and they change. I don't want any of my friends
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: and family to have a tainted opinion of the reality.
• 45:16
  Speaker 1: It's not even tainted, but like I want them to
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: have the fairy tale opinion of my partner.
• 45:21
  Speaker 6: Yeah, because like you almost feel maybe shame or embarrassment
• 45:24
  Speaker 6: for like that being putting yourself through that, like staying
• 45:28
  Speaker 6: I think I think a lot of people experience with
• 45:29
  Speaker 6: a shame with that, like.
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: I've been in really like one in particular that was
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: quite an emotionally abusive relationship, and when it ended, I
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: then would tell my friends and family everything that happened.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: I'm like, and there isn't that And my especially my mom,
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: she would be like, I feel awful that I didn't
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: know this stuff, and I'm like, I withheld this information
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: from you on purpose, like I was really good at
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: not sharing.
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: Jake says that a lot it's our advice is like,
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: what would your mom say if you you told her
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: the exact exact dilemma you've sent us?
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, god right?
• 45:56
  Speaker 6: If your future daughter, oh came to you and said this, Like,
• 45:59
  Speaker 6: what would you would talking about?
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: I was like I think that too. It's like, would
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: you want this your reality for your kids? And most
• 46:08
  Speaker 1: people are like, absolutely not, but they will have it
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: for themselves. Okay, would you date yourself if if you
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: met yourself on hinge today? And what do you think
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: you put on your hinge?
• 46:23
  Speaker 6: Like?
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: What kind of photos are you putting on?
• 46:26
  Speaker 6: Can I say something? I know this is all hypothetical.
• 46:29
  Speaker 6: I wouldn't go on a d this is all hypothetical play,
• 46:34
  Speaker 6: this is very hard.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: I would I I'd be a dud on the date.
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: Just think, would I date myself?
• 46:47
  Speaker 6: I want to say yes because I'm confident in my
• 46:50
  Speaker 6: with your gets, with my ability of being a boyfriend.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: You're a good partner. You know what you bring to
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: the table.
• 46:59
  Speaker 5: What a put on my hinge.
• 47:00
  Speaker 6: I've got a couple I reckon I'd have a couple
• 47:03
  Speaker 6: shirtless picks from like two years ago where I looked
• 47:05
  Speaker 6: better than I do.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: Now where your god friend?
• 47:07
  Speaker 6: Like?
• 47:08
  Speaker 5: That was it?
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: That was prime?
• 47:10
  Speaker 6: This hater al right, the other day he's at my house,
• 47:16
  Speaker 6: he's staying at my house.
• 47:17
  Speaker 7: I'm putting him, I'm boarding him for free, and he
• 47:23
  Speaker 7: goes I don't know where he finds his photo.
• 47:25
  Speaker 6: It's like on my old Instagram or something, and it's me.
• 47:27
  Speaker 6: I posted a shirtless pick. I will say I felt
• 47:30
  Speaker 6: I looked good. Then don't look like that anymore. He
• 47:32
  Speaker 6: shows my girlfriend and she's like.
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: It was on my Thank you very much.
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: You are a ship.
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: He was motivation for you, for you, he was doing it.
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: Beth is very vocal about saying she likes big guys
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: and you are no longer a big god.
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: So in front of you and Beth is like, look
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: at this photo and you're like, who, so that would
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: be your hinge?
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: It just be peppered with it would probably be like,
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: would be like I live in the past.
• 48:06
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 48:07
  Speaker 6: I would probably try and have I would want to
• 48:10
  Speaker 6: have a prompt that was very like either relatable or easy,
• 48:15
  Speaker 6: easy to reply to him.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's.
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: So true, I reckon I would be the classic guy
• 48:22
  Speaker 3: who's like, so my profile name would say Oddie Clark.
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: But then like it just been me and Jake photos
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: the whole time, and everyone be like, which one is he?
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's what people find so annoying.
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: Stop uploading group photos on it and be like this one.
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: But then in the next photo this one.
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah wait, wait what we've been trapped? How we would
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: never ever be single?
• 48:52
  Speaker 5: We would ever even know? We love our girlfriends so much?
• 48:58
  Speaker 3: Insert it beforehand, before you met your girlfriends.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: If you were true to be fair, you did say
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: if you would date ourselves?
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, if you would date yourself exactly, Yeah, if you
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: stumbled across yourself.
• 49:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, if I was a woman, you're at.
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: I can even love me or hate me.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: That's you know, I feel like polarizing.
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: I'm my own taste no, I probably, I don't know.
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't get along with myself actually really too fair
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: chalk and cheese, Like, yeah, I feel like Cassie. My
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: girlfriend compliments what I'm not and I compliment what she's not.
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: Like two of me, I feel like wouldn't work. But
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: two of me as well also wouldn't work because you're
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: the same. Nothing would get done, especially on an emotional level.
• 49:40
  Speaker 6: My girlfriend has she's single handedly like brought communication.
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: Out of me.
• 49:45
  Speaker 5: I love that. Yeah, I love that.
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: And like made me want to communicate.
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah that's a good part.
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: So yeah, I.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: Know you feel like just be just to never communicating
• 49:57
  Speaker 1: about it would just.
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: Be scrolling on ticks, you want to go for.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: A walk, quality time is watching watch Netflix.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: Two of me would just be yeah, be a mess.
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: That's so yeah. Yeah, Okay, what would be your biggest
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: red flag? And it could be one in the past?
• 50:20
  Speaker 6: No, mine is that I when like a serious conversation
• 50:27
  Speaker 6: comes up. I spoken about this recently too, I fine,
• 50:32
  Speaker 6: I don't it's like uncontrollable for some reason, and like
• 50:34
  Speaker 6: that's the worst excuse. But if my girlfriend's ever bring
• 50:37
  Speaker 6: up something that's like serious, I I just reply with
• 50:43
  Speaker 6: like yeah, She'll be saying something and then like she
• 50:46
  Speaker 6: calls like countless time she's called me out and she's
• 50:49
  Speaker 6: been like and she's like, Jake, this conversation, by the way,
• 50:52
  Speaker 6: sucks for me, and then I feel it's terrible, and
• 50:55
  Speaker 6: then I like sit in that guilt and I'm like,
• 50:57
  Speaker 6: I'm sorry, and then I always hit it with like
• 50:58
  Speaker 6: I'm just I'm just thinking, like I don't know what
• 51:00
  Speaker 6: to say, and like, so my biggest red flag is
• 51:02
  Speaker 6: that I think, even though like I like to think
• 51:05
  Speaker 6: I'm a good communicator, there is lots of times where
• 51:07
  Speaker 6: it's like I just shut down.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: Do you think it's more so in the moment. Do
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: you think if you had time to process, you could
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: then approach or is it that you struggle to then
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: speak to her about it?
• 51:15
  Speaker 6: I think so my biggest red flag so I can
• 51:18
  Speaker 6: eventually articulate things, But my biggest red flag is that
• 51:21
  Speaker 6: like I need time, Yeah, and then I'm bout at
• 51:23
  Speaker 6: being like I appreciate you saying this, like please give
• 51:26
  Speaker 6: me time to think about this. I don't say that
• 51:28
  Speaker 6: I think it, and then like I don't bring it back.
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: Up yeah yeah, So then it never actually gets discussed discussing.
• 51:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm working on it.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: That's right.
• 51:38
  Speaker 5: Better.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: If she knows that too, then that's something that you
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: could say and she'll start to prempt it as well.
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: It's something that you could then say, this is one
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: of like you need a little bit, but then you
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: give a time frame of when. That's the hard because say,
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: can we talk about it later?
• 51:51
  Speaker 2: That's not good enough.
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: You can say give me two minutes, yeah, yeah, can
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: I go for Can I walk the dogs? And when
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: I come back? Even something like that, then it's something
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: that like I actually just need a bit of processing time,
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: because if she knew that it just required processing time,
• 52:04
  Speaker 1: then she wouldn't take offense to it.
• 52:05
  Speaker 3: Likely true, Yeah, I feel like mine is I need
• 52:09
  Speaker 3: to catch myself out doing this is I feel like
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: my problems are only my own, and I'm not vocal
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: in telling her when I'm upset or when I'm stressed,
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: and then down the track the repercussions are something simple,
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: trivial will happen and then I would just have like
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: a bit of an episode and be like oh shit
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: and like wig out and she has to deal with it,
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: and she's like, what the fuck? I was like, I
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: just put your shoes in the wrong place or some shit. Yeah,
• 52:35
  Speaker 3: that's yeah, And then I'm like no, I'm like, oh no,
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry, like I'm stressed from work. I'm like, I
• 52:39
  Speaker 3: need to talk about this more to get it out,
• 52:41
  Speaker 3: and she'll be like.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: Why didn't you tell me?
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that my red flag. I'm trying to I'm since
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: dating my partner probably past like eighteen months, I've been
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: getting better that, but I still catch myself out sometimes
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: and then randomly I'll just have a bit of an outburst.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh fuck, do you ever have like a
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: debrief at the end of the day.
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: With your partners?
• 52:56
  Speaker 5: We have check ins?
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, do it frequently enough if we do it,
• 53:02
  Speaker 2: to do it?
• 53:02
  Speaker 6: We do it every now and then, like I'm going
• 53:05
  Speaker 6: to say, like every couple of months, I'll remember to
• 53:07
  Speaker 6: be like, how are things Like, how do you think
• 53:10
  Speaker 6: things are with us?
• 53:11
  Speaker 5: Yeah, like it's very it is rare. I need to
• 53:12
  Speaker 5: do it more of them.
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: Like something that I sometimes do and again, I'd love
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: to do it daily. I just don't remember but where.
• 53:18
  Speaker 1: And I would get home and sometimes I'd be like,
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: most infuriating part of your day ago. And then sometimes
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: he'll be like, no, it's actually a really good day.
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: And other times he'll be like, oh my god, like this,
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: and then he can actually have his moment to yes,
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: a license, a license to be like this is so annoying,
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: and then I can then feel for him being like, oh,
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: that's actually really you know, and then we're kind of
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: more on the safe end, and then highlight of the day.
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: It's like a licensed event. Like my girlfriend after work
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: will call me and like good or bad, but sometimes
• 53:44
  Speaker 3: it's bad and should his event for like twenty minutes.
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: I just listen and like it's her outlet and it's
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: really healthy for her to do that. I'm there to listen.
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: But me, if I say, for example, it's piece of
• 53:54
  Speaker 3: a jake, I would just not say anything. Internalize it, yeah,
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: just internalize it.
• 53:58
  Speaker 5: And I'm like her.
• 53:59
  Speaker 3: We even catch myself out when she's doing I was like,
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: I need to fucking do this too, of.
• 54:03
  Speaker 1: Course, And I feel like like I was trying to
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: draw the line in an episode I did recently. I
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: was drawing the line between a difference between gossiping and
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: venting and so when you're talking oh good, yeah, So
• 54:14
  Speaker 1: when you're talking to someone that you know really well,
• 54:17
  Speaker 1: like your girlfriend about someone you know really well, then
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: it's venting. So it's healthy because you're actually decompressing something
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: that's actually like relevant to your life. But when you're
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: talking about someone you don't know that well to someone
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: you don't know that well.
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: Gossip got her.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so you should never feel bad about venting, even if, Like,
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't feel boat if my best friend had to
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: vent about something I did or said to her partner,
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, fair enough. I mean, I'd love you
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: to ultimately communicate with me, but I wouldn't feel like
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: that's bitching. I'd be like, wow, maybe I've been a
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: bit of that day and she had to vent to
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: her partner. You know, so I think it's just healthy.
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's healthy too. Yeah, that outlet, I
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: like that.
• 54:48
  Speaker 5: That's what I need.
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: Practice that outlet.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: Totally totally, and then you just become a better communicator.
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: All Right, we're gonna wrap this up with wait, yes,
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: we'll wrap this up with how.
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: Long have we been knowing for fifty four?
• 55:02
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: Shit, that flies. Okay, We're gonna wrap it up with
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: things we would tell our twenty year old selves or
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: just our youngest like youngest adult version, so eight to
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: twenty year old selves.
• 55:13
  Speaker 3: Ooh okay, I only feel like I've recently become an adult.
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: So how old are you? Twenty four?
• 55:19
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you have recently a good way. You guys are
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: very very emotionally mature, by the way, Thank you appreciate that.
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: So biggest career mistake, I mean, you're still young adults,
• 55:30
  Speaker 1: but thus far.
• 55:31
  Speaker 3: Biggest Korea mistake.
• 55:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, Like, I don't.
• 55:37
  Speaker 6: Is it like it scares me that I feel like
• 55:39
  Speaker 6: I haven't made it yet. I haven't made the biggest
• 55:42
  Speaker 6: career mistake yet because like so I left school in
• 55:46
  Speaker 6: at the end of your ten and did a carpentry
• 55:47
  Speaker 6: apprenticeship and then I didn't like that, so I went
• 55:49
  Speaker 6: into bartending and like, nothing that I've done like feels
• 55:54
  Speaker 6: like a mistake and has like put me further behind
• 55:56
  Speaker 6: than when I started.
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like, there's no regrets, basically, it's all it's all
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: led you to this place.
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: I don't know I've got a regret. Straight out of school,
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: I went and studied architecture m H. And I only
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: did it because I thought that's what I meant I
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: had to do. And then I got a five thousand
• 56:10
  Speaker 3: dollars debt and then I never finished it.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And then you're like, I was like, why.
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: I knew I didn't want to do it from the start,
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: but I was doing it because like that's what everyone does,
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: they go to get yes. And then I dropped out
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: like fucking three weeks after the census state, and I
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: was like I didn't understand the concept of money either. Really,
• 56:23
  Speaker 3: I was like, five thousand dollars, that's not much. And
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: then I had to pay it back and I realized
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: I was like dolls a waste of.
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: Money anything else. And you know, I like that you
• 56:32
  Speaker 1: said that because I feel like when we talk about regrets,
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: I don't think you can regret something that at the
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: time was a good idea. But like with you, the
• 56:40
  Speaker 1: reason you regret it is because, like you said, you
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: knew you didn't want to do it at the time,
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: and then it's like when you go against your better judgment,
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: knowing it at the time, then you look back being
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: like I could have at.
• 56:50
  Speaker 3: The the way life worked out too, Like we make
• 56:53
  Speaker 3: money out of having in quotes zero qualifications, yeah, and
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: like a lot of people wouldn't be as lucky as that,
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: and they might look back on that back, I wish
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: I finished that and now in as a fortunate position.
• 57:04
  Speaker 3: But that's the life I've been given, and that makes
• 57:06
  Speaker 3: me look that way.
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: And it kind of in a way led you to.
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: I always knew I wasn't like designed to go to UNI,
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: Like my brain just doesn't work in that fast.
• 57:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you got to know that about yourself.
• 57:17
  Speaker 3: I feel I was going to classes and I was
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: driving you, and I was thinking, I was thinking I
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: could be doing I was like, I could do doing
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: anything else and I would prefer to do that, literally anything,
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: all the worst things I could be doing. I wish
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: I was doing it.
• 57:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, totally, yeah.
• 57:32
  Speaker 5: I think.
• 57:32
  Speaker 6: But advice that we got recently from Luke Bateman actually
• 57:37
  Speaker 6: is our new best friend.
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: Our new best friend, Luke.
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: I need to watch this episode because I really like him.
• 57:41
  Speaker 6: Yes, it was actually a really good episode. I would
• 57:46
  Speaker 6: tell my twenty year old self to start because at
• 57:49
  Speaker 6: that time I think something that really like maybe motivated
• 57:52
  Speaker 6: me or drove me was the idea of like, you
• 57:54
  Speaker 6: know a lot of like money and success bringing value
• 57:58
  Speaker 6: and happiness. And I would go back and I would say, like,
• 58:03
  Speaker 6: make more decisions based off of your own values totally.
• 58:06
  Speaker 6: You know, do you want to learn? Do you want
• 58:08
  Speaker 6: to just like what brings you joy? Like, don't do
• 58:12
  Speaker 6: things just because of money?
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because you're Yeah.
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: Live don't live a goal based life. Live a value
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: based life.
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: That's so good because if you're not fulfilled in the
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: process of it, getting that thing in, that shiny thing
• 58:24
  Speaker 1: at the end is not going to fulfill you. You have
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: to be fulfilled in the lead up, otherwise it's pointless. Now,
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: biggest waste of emotional energy?
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: Oh, biggest ways currently stress or is it still back? Oh?
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: Whenever. It's just something that you could tell your twenty
• 58:40
  Speaker 1: year olds SLF. So you could say, so it could
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: be something right now, but you could say, don't invest
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: your emotional energy into this thing or don't have money.
• 58:48
  Speaker 2: I wish we didn't, but we do.
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say, like it sort of goes hand
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: in hands. Something so hard on yourself. I feel like
• 58:56
  Speaker 3: just like twenty yeah, no, I feel like I do.
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: Do I hold myself to this unreal expectation of like
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: comparing myself to where I should be in life compared
• 59:05
  Speaker 3: to other people, and then it stresses me out or
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: makes me feel like I'm not worthy or I'm not enough,
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: and then I feel sad or I get anxiety, and
• 59:13
  Speaker 3: then I'm just like wait a second, man, Like you
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: don't have to have everything figured out.
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: It's that timeline comparison thing that, yeah, you look at
• 59:19
  Speaker 1: where people your age are and what they're doing.
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: And I remember I went through this Matt I Reckon.
• 59:24
  Speaker 3: It was like a year and a half of like
• 59:27
  Speaker 3: ninetyen twenty twenty one, and everyone was like either in
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: UNI or most of our friends were doing an apprenticeship.
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: And I knew, I just knew that wasn't for me,
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: but I didn't know what was for me. And so
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: like I work part time and then I also went
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: to the gym quite frequently. But every time I went
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: to the gym or I was doing something that wasn't
• 59:44
  Speaker 3: benefiting me financially or educating myself, I felt guilty that
• 59:47
  Speaker 3: I wasn't doing something. Yeah, and like I would go
• 59:49
  Speaker 3: to the gym and I'm like I would hope I
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: wouldn't see people because I was like, they know that
• 59:53
  Speaker 3: I'm not working, Oh totally.
• 59:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: I would always think that I'm like, why am I
• 59:56
  Speaker 3: being so hard on myself? It's fucking my life and
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: I enjoyed what I was doing and figuring it out,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: But I remember that time. I was just this mental debate.
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 5: In my head.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And then you want to look back and say
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: you would have just had such a better time go
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: to the beach, like be more present in that moment,
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: Like if you're not doing those things, that's fine, but
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: actually enjoy the time.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 5: Exactly terrible.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: Listen to society, Yeah.
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: Literally, yeah, I love that, Okay. And then last question,
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: what is something that you were wrong about? It could
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: be something that you're like pleasantly surprised about, or something
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: you're just blatantly wrong about.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 3: Sure you got one for me recently?
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 5: What have you done? I've got one.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: I've got a good one. I was wrong about grain
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 3: of salt.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 6: This guy, this guy, this guy think used to think
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 6: up until recent twosgo when you're like, yeah, take it
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 6: with a grain of salt, it was like grain assault
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 6: what physical like, take it not a grain.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 3: Of salt I've been saying on the podcast.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 6: Actually he sends me we I think we were going
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 6: to record the next day. He sends me a text
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 6: message of like stuff we should talk about, and then
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 6: he at the end of it, he goes, that's my
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 6: two cents, and he spelt it s E N S
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 6: E no, and I was like no, I was like,
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 6: you mean two cents like c E N T S.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 5: I was like, dude, And then he.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 7: Has to go he looks it up to make sure
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 7: he's not the one that's wrong.
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: Still he's like standing strong.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: That one friend who like doesn't get saying.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's like Lucy, especially at the start
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: of her of happy hour. She's still always say sayings,
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: but butcher it like butcher the word whatever.
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it's funny.
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: Someone's wrong about a lot of things.
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 6: I will say that I was wrong about the argument
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 6: that I or the debate Oddie and I had about
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 6: the like quality time thing.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah about like actually you need to like label
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: it as that.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 3: I just I just want to say something. He wouldn't
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: be saying that if you want here because his.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: Wrongs because is it my presence? Well, you've grown, which
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: means you've grown in the last couple of hours, which
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: is great. Well, I mean that's good. Yeah, I feel like,
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 1: I don't know, I feel like when I'm able to
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: admit my wrongs in front of especially in front of
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: like friends, and family. That's when I grow the most.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: Like if I just admit it to myself, then there's
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: still that leeway of flaying Oh well, I don't have
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: to be like saying it out loud.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: I feel like that's when you really people who like
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: whose opinions.
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: May yeah, yeah, yeah, anything you've been wrong about so much,
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: so much to.
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: Do parenting as you've just you know, your twins are
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: ten months old.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've actually learned a lot about myself as a parent,
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: like a lot. And it's one of the things that
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: I've loved the most about the journey is that I
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: actually think I'm a lot more of a like we'll
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 1: say this before, like it's just more fun than I
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: thought it would be. It's a lot of work, obviously
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: that goes without saying, but yeah, I've had a lot
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: more fun and I've I used to see stuff on
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: social media. This is not about me being wrong. It's
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 1: actually singing my own praises. But you know when people say, yes,
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 1: being a parent is good, but then you're like, oh,
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: I'm sick of you know, watching the Wiggles, or I'm
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 1: sick of this, Like it's just like a do you
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: know how fun it is to see like your children
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 1: laughing and smart, like I actually have fun it. Let's
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: you be a kid again. You're watching, yes, and you're
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: being a kid with them. So if you're doing it
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: with them, it's still fun, even though I wouldn't do
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: it in my own time. But I actually have a ball.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: But if I'm just like a passive, you know, like
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: just a passenger and watching the Whiggles, Okay, I'm not
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 1: gonna like it. But like when you're having fun with them,
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: I don't.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 3: Know, you see life through see life.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: Through their eyes, and everything is amazing. Yeah, I can't
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: wait to there a bit older to show them apparently
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: like top tier like pediatricians.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 3: It's the Wiggles still a thing.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah it is. I mean, Mike, they're too young to
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 1: watch the Wiggles, but yeah, like it's huge. They've got
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 1: all these new cast members. It's crazy.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 6: My mom said that I went to a Wiggles show
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 6: at an RSL club when they first started out.
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 2: It's a big deal.
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 1: Like with the og I used to teach one of
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: the Wiggles pilates I know.
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: Not which was the Blue Wiggle not the purple one
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 3: would be.
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 5: Sleep on the reformer back. Yeah.
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 6: Anthony, my cousin who's got young kids, said that when
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 6: like Blue is on and their chill and watching it
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 6: with their kids, he said, sometimes he'll realize his kids
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 6: are gone and he's.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 5: Been watching Blue. He's like just entertained.
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: It's actually a really good show. Apparently there's a lot
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: of lessons there for parents. So I can't wait for
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 1: my Bluey era. Ye but yeah, yeah, literally just laid
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: back and Jim guys, thank you honestly, thank you so
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 1: much for coming on the show.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 5: So much fun.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: That was amazing. We'll do it like a around two
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: in a couple of months time.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 6: I feel like I have so many more questions to ask.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 6: I asked you like so many questions on ours about
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 6: their brain and stuff, and I was not done.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I know, I know. There's Honestly, we could
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: go on a thousand more tangents. But thank you so much.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: That was epic And yeah, I can't wait for all
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: my listeners to start tuning into your podcast now.
• 1:04:58
  Speaker 5: Amazing. Thank you, right,