Latest / She's Next Level / 45: Not Every Situation That You Don't Like Is Toxic & How To Shift That Reality

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45: Not Every Situation That You Don't Like Is Toxic & How To Shift That Reality · She's Next Level

• Darshna Patel: I will fucking leave if I don't like a situation or scenario. And that is exactly why I was recreating the same situations again. Because at the end of the day, your energy will follow you wherever you are. The way you feel, your emotional imbalances were always gonna stay with you. Until you acknowledge them, you release them and you shift them Hello, hello, ladies. Today I have a fun story to share with you guys, along with a fun lesson that I think it is so important, especially in today's society. And be sure to stay tuned until the very end because I am gonna be answering questions that I've intuited from the collective to help you guys understand everything that I talk about in this episode on a deeper level. And it's something new that I'm implementing that I'm super excited about because I love bringing context to things and understanding things at a deeper level. that is my intention is to help you guys not only take this info in, but then be able to understand it to implement it. I see so much content, and especially like content around manifestation, around people talking about how if you don't like a certain situation, then just leave it. You don't have to stay in certain situations that are uncomfortable, that are toxic. This word toxic gets thrown around so much. And I feel like it's so overrated at this point, where we need to get into the deeper concepts and higher frequency information around how to not recreate toxic situations ever again. Because nothing is actually ever toxic if you understand. The principles and the story that I'm gonna share with you guys and just taking you guys along with how I turned a quote unquote deemed to be a toxic, uncomfortable situation for me into an amazing lesson and a life upgrade where I actually feel at peace. Because here's the thing, at the end of the day, we all wanna feel at peace. We all want to feel happy. We all want to just feel like we're rooted in our power and that nothing else can affect anything within us. And that has been a lifelong journey for me. I know it is for a lot of women. And still being able to feel like you have that sense of belonging at the same time. That, you know, you are able to connect with others. You are able to navigate certain challenges with ease. And it not being this whole thing of this whole toxic situation, as people call it. here's the thing. Whenever you feel like you are in a toxic situation or you're feeling like the situation that you're in is not aligned, it's feeling uncomfortable. That is a taletaling sign that you are emotionally out of balance with who you truly are, and that somewhere in your life you have settled. And what I mean by this is that we all have an electromagnetic field. And we're constantly radiating out in our energy, our thoughts, beliefs, actions, our perception of ourselves. and this is what people are responding back and reflecting back to us based on the way we think, the way we feel, what we believe to be true, all of those things. so when you feel that disconnect, that uncomfortable feeling, whatever emotion that you want to label it, that is when you are out of balance with the perfection. And really it has to do with the perception of who you are and how you feel. And this is why a lot of people struggle with emotions and how to navigate their emotions, how to process them, how to alchemize them. And this has been a big Journey for me, a big lesson, and it's been amazing. It's been really, really fun. and when this happens, it is basically our higher selves and our soul telling us to get back into alignment with who we actually truly are. That unlimited version of ourselves, who is our higher self, is telling us that hey, we're out of balance from creating our dream life. They are dream reality that we desire to experience. And so it's basically signaling us that hey, we need to get back into balance. And that's really what emotions are. I feel like a lot of people tend to get into this victim mentality and mindset. And it's so easy to do so because a lot of society has programmed us to do so. That it's her fault, and this is why this happened. And even sometimes it comes down to self-blame where you start blaming yourself. and if you take away anything from this episode today, I want you guys to take away the fact that we create our own reality. So every reflection. Every situation that happens is because we have subconsciously created it in some way, even if you're not consciously like thinking of those things. And it's all happening for you for your favor. Like it's all happening for you to get what you actually want out of your life that is far beyond your wildest fucking dreams. And so I wanted to lay that out because everything I talk about today is really gonna be coming from that. Concept and that understanding. And yes, it does take a lot of personal accountability and understanding that hey, I'm gonna take radical responsibility for myself, but I'm also not going to beat myself up because I've talked about this countless times when it comes to unconditional love. If you want people to love you, accept you, you want to feel like you belong, you want to feel happier in life and also healthier, because when you're not unconditionally loving yourself, that's when you start seeing. reflections in the body where you know you have ailments sh popping up, physical symptoms, all of these things. Unconditional love is such a core foundation as well as prioritizing yourself and putting yourself first. But let's get into the story because I want to give you guys a little bit of a life update. I have had my stretch mark business that I technically left last year for starting my podcast, thinking that I was going to, you know, build my business super fast, like I've done with all the other businesses, but it was a great lesson for me to learn around that. So my income was very up and down, and I had to really learn about internal safety. And that has been a part of my journey ever since then. because I did that, my business did take a bit. And you know, it was slowly dying because I wasn't feeding into it and my love for it wasn't there. So when you're not Pouring into something, and when you're out of love for something, it starts to die, it starts to fizzle out. So recently I got this part-time job and it was a serving job. So I've been in the nightlife, I've been in the serving industry, hospitality for the majority of my life, along with always having a business on the side, too. I love sales, so that's been always my jam. I'm definitely not like a nine to five or like hourly girly. And so I was actually excited and I was like, I was led to this thing. Like I, you know, used my intuition to be able to figure out like what place, like down to a T of like what place I should apply at and what's gonna be the best, like the days, the hours. And everything worked out based on where my intuition led me to. And on the second day of training, guys, like I literally had this moment of feeling that emotional disconnect that I'm talking about because I already started seeing red flags at the place that I was at. And I was like starting to notice that my God, there's a lot more work here. And the working condition here is not as great as I thought it would be. And like You're not even making that much money as what I'm used to. And so that was also another issue that I had. And so I already started to have this negative perception of the situation and feeling like, this is not what I thought it was gonna be. Like, this is not for me. Now, when this happens, most people will already start to plan their exit strategy. they would already be like, This is not for me. I'm out, I'm not gonna deal with this. Like, They're ready to go. And I'm not gonna lie, I did have a thought of that. Like it's just human nature. And also, it has been a pattern for me. I've had this pattern of leaving situations that I did not like. And especially when it comes to career, because a lot of the stuff, a lot of like this the lessons that have been coming up for me has been me learning in career and finances. So I've had this pattern of me just like. Leaving situations. I've literally have left jobs within like two hours of starting. Like, I'm not even kidding. So, like, I don't care. Like, I will fucking leave if I don't like a situation or scenario. And that is exactly why I was recreating the same situations again. Because at the end of the day, your energy will follow you wherever you are. The way you feel, your emotional imbalances were always gonna stay with you. Until you acknowledge them, you release them and you shift them and you rewire your brain to start feeling the opposite. And that's like a whole process in itself. I was like, this time with the tools that I have and everything that I've learned and where I am in my life right now, I've was like, I'm not doing that because we're I'm not gonna recreate the situation again. So I sat down with my intuition and I was like intuiting and figuring out like what was my emotional. imbalance and root cause to this. Like what created the situation for me? Because I was like so convinced, like intuition led me here. So I'm gonna do this and this is it. And everything felt so right. But it was a bigger lesson. Sometimes when you know you think things were meant for you and then they don't work out the way that you thought they would, There's always a bigger lesson that goes with that. And so That's what was playing out here. So that helped me like still continue to trust myself and not sidetrack off of that. And the emotional root cause for me being a match to the situation was all around me feeling like I needed to work harder and do more in order for me to make more money. And when I decoded that emotional root cause, I was like, yeah, like this is it. And you know, when you get that accurate emotional root cause and you get it and you nail it is when you feel that relief in your body. Your body knows, you know, you feel it, and you're like, this is it. So once I got it, I had all these like realizations pop up with me because I was obviously like starting to shift it and work on shifting it. And there's like a whole process that I go through with my clients. and maybe I'll create a course on it one day if you guys want me to, on like how to go through that protocol in shifting your emotions. And it doesn't have to take so long. Like I was literally able to shift my emotions right away where when I went back for the next shift, I was completely neutral and I wasn't feeling the same way prior. And then I've been able to continuously do it where within like two weeks I was able to make a clear decision on what I was gonna do. as I started working on shifting this, I literally like started to feel so grateful and realized that, my God, I had it so good with my stretch mark business that I had. And at the same time, like that business, there was a bigger purpose and a mission with it than I didn't even realize until now. And that it is a part of my sole purpose. Like, it is not just me having like one business and this podcast and this business is it. Like, I am meant to be an entrepreneur. Like, I am meant to have multiple businesses, but like I didn't realize that the thing that I already had that I worked so hard to build is still valuable and it's still important. And there's so much potential with it. And I just wasn't seeing that. And I was, you know, kind of doing the same things with it. I wasn't really innovating and creating new things, which is a big thing for me that I just recently learned about myself that I do need to constantly keep innovating and creating new things and trying new things because that's where my creativity lies. And that's where I come up with like badass And that really helped me feel gratitude, but then also get me into emotional balance with the whole situation. It helped me come up with a game plan, which is also really, really important for you in before you leave any situation or anything, because that is a self-love thing that I always talk about of prioritizing yourself and putting yourself first, giving yourself what you need so that you can thrive. So that was something that I made sure that I was like working on behind the scenes before I even decided to actually leave. I didn't make a decision. I was doing everything else. But recently I made that decision and I finalized it that you know what? I feel like I'm ready and I'm at a place now where I am completely neutral about the situation than what I was feeling before. And that I'm going to leave. and when you leave. Any situation, any circumstance, even a job that you don't like from that neutral place where you feel like I feel pretty good. Like I'm good if I leave it, I'm good if I don't. That is when you know that you're ready to make that decision. And I feel like a lot of people kind of struggle to get to that place, or they don't realize that that is the place that you want to be before you make any decision because you're not carrying that energy along with you because you learned the lesson. You learned what the thing was, the emotional root cause, you shifted it, and now you're in a different state of mind. So that is why, like if you have intuition, and what I mean by this is if you trained your intuition to be able to read energy and read it correctly in the right fields and all of that stuff, then you can be able to decode all of that info easily and give yourself that sense of ease and that sense of certainty that you need. the biggest reason I got the job was for me to be able to make money for myself, to provide for myself so that I can continue to invest into my podcasts and building my personal brand. And I thought that that was the way that it needed to be done without realizing that I have this fucking gold mine of a business that I don't need to be doing all that, that I actually have it really easy and all set up with what I already have. the biggest thing that I can give you, and it's one of the things, because I don't want to overwhelm you with so many things. I think it's important to lay out the foundation and start with something small but doable and build up that muscle Before you get into all the advanced tricks and hacks, is I always talk about this and I talked about this in the unconditional love episode. That was like honestly, if you're new to my podcast, like you need to listen to that one. Because that one is so foundational with everything that I do along with self love, being able to find the equal amount of positives and the equal amount of negatives in any situation is going to help you. So what I started to do to get to that place of neutrality was I already knew what the negatives were from that job and the way I was feeling about that. I started to list out all the positives in that job that I wasn't noticing because my perception was just focusing on the negative. So I started focusing on the positives of what would the benefit be, even from that negative situation? What would that benefit be for me? So, okay, I'm doing more work, right? I'm having a bus tables as well, which I never had to do in New York when I worked there. that's actually helping me get more steps in. And it's helping me become more fit. And that's actually a big High value for me. And I was tying those things to my high values. That helps me stay fit and healthy. So that was one thing. even like, you know, being there and feeling like I'm quote unquote wasting my time because I'm not making a lot of money. Well, how I flipped that was I was starting to notice well, I'm actually getting better at. improving my skill sets because I'm working on communicating with people and how to provide a service for people. And that's great because then that will help me in my soul pool business and it'll help me in my stretch mark business. And I was starting to notice tiny ways of how, you know, maybe utilizing my skill sets there and how I'm able to do that in a negative situation, or what is the benefit of what it's giving me? Like maybe it's helping me, you know. Learn this lesson in itself was super valuable. I'm glad that that situation happened and that I was a match for this to happen. maybe it is learning more patience, you know, from an uncomfortable situation and being able to, you know, with emotional mastery, especially if you are an emotional authority in human design, bitch. I have so much love for us because we really have to ride that emotional wave and be able to not make any decisions from that emotional place, which is something that I highly, highly recommend. And I would even implement in anything that you do where it's like you give it that time. Like I have made a rule for myself. Unless I'm able to know and I usually know in my body and in my energy of like, am I actually emotionally grounded to make a decision that I need to make right away? but I usually give myself at least 24 hours minimum before I make a decision. And I'm still not making decision. I'm literally like like bouncing around like different questions around the thing before I make my decision with intuition because I want to be able to get all the details I need, give myself the clarity I need before I commit to the decision I make. so that's something that I highly recommend. But start noticing like not just the negatives, because that's so easy for us to do that the way that our brains wired due to society and all the contagions and like all the influence around us, like start training your brain to focus on the bigger picture. I want you to zoom out. I don't feel like a lot of people think big picture. They think very like short term, like I want to get to the goal. I want that instant gratification. But the moment you take a step back and you look at the bigger picture, like that bird's eye view that people talk about, you start to see why things happen and see the perfection And why things are happening the way that they are. Like I swear to God, every time I do this, I'm like, wow, this is fucking genius. Like my higher self is a genius ass bitch because that bitch is, I don't even know how my brain could even plan that shit. So I highly recommend that, you know, oftentimes it's easy for us to just zoom in and hone in. And this is one thing about emotional mastery where our brain can sometimes have that narrow focus. with whenever it feels triggered and our nervous system is off and our emotions are triggered, our emotion is what is driving our nervous system to be out of whack and like go into whatever state that you end up in. A lot of it's fight or flight. And we narrow in on the thing, it's our job to narrow out. So what you can do to narrow out is get into the present moment. And something I love asking myself right away is like a week from now, is this gonna be something I care about? And most of the times it's not. But especially with important decisions like this one where I had to make a decision around what I was gonna do because it was a job. I gave myself that time and space to, you know, give myself the clarity that I needed. And I told myself, like, regardless of what happens, I'm still gonna show up at the job and I'm not gonna make any decision until it's from that neutral, grounded place where I'm okay if I stay, but I'm also okay if I leave. And I also wanted to make sure that my stretch mark business, that I decided to revive and really like take it on and like create something amazing with it. That I was also working on it behind the scenes to give myself a game plan so that I'm not going back into that situation because of money, because I needed the money to be able to provide for myself. Cause that was really the driving force of like why I decided to get a job anyways. And so sometimes it's good to understand like what drove me to making that action, like from what place and what was the main reason that I decided to get that job that. ended up not feeling aligned for me or that made me a match to a situation with somebody that wasn't really aligned for me. It's like starting to get curious with yourself. Like I don't really feel like a lot of people spend time to understand themselves better. They're constantly trying to understand other people and like like so focused externally, but it's like you need to go internally, bitch, because you are creating your own motherfucking reality. You need to focus on yourself because that is literally being reflected back in the world. Just to wrap things up before I get into questions, is that the things I want you guys to focus on when it comes to any situation that ends up feeling like a trigger for you where you're like, This is toxic. Like, I don't like this situation. Or like, I don't want to be here, right? I want you to like breathe, bitch. Take a step back and I want you to work on getting your emotions down. I feel like a lot of people want to solve problems right away when things happen because they're so emotionally heightened and like they want to get back into that emotional balance place. But you need to get your emotions down and neutralize yourself and get into that place of neutrality before you can even go into figuring out what the emotional root cause is and like what happened and why this happened and what the lesson is for you to learn. The best way that you can do that again is you know breathing, grounding to the present moment. So looking up around you, expanding your view and your focus into outside of you, into noticing how you're actually safe right now. Because it's just technically the body doesn't feel safe at that moment, it doesn't actually know if it's safe or not. And so getting yourself into that safety moment, maybe you need to walk away from the situation, or maybe if you can't walk away from the situation. maybe you wanna listen to a soothing song that makes you calm down. Whatever it is, you know, you gotta experiment with it. And then I want you to start focusing on the positives and literally writing down a list for if you need to go through it in your head, whatever you need to do of what. benefit you are receiving from that negative situation and tying that to your high value. area in your life where if this happens, like amazing. And I also want you to go to that worst case scenario place too, because I feel like that's what drives a lot of us being in that needy state and repelling state because there is a fear of the thing that you don't want happening is going to happen, and then you're gonna be fucked, and then you're not gonna feel safe and whatever repercussions that come from that. I want you to like take yourself to that scenario because that actually also helps you in getting more neutral because you're giving your brain a game plan. You're giving yourself what you need to be like, if this happens, I know I'm good, I'm prepared. And even though it's obviously not gonna happen, but you're giving yourself everything you need to get grounded and neutral and take your time. I think a lot of people just like rush because they're so emotional and they're heightened in their emotions. The biggest lesson I've learned is do not rush, bitch. Like take your time and give yourself what you need to get those emotions down. The biggest goal is to get those emotions down. And I found that getting myself back into that neutral place by You know, focusing on the positives, looking at the big picture view, neutralizing my fear. That has helped me a lot. So let's get into questions. These are questions that I have intuitively channeled for the collective This is something that I want to start like implementing for my podcast episodes because I feel like I love it when there's context behind things. I like to fully understand things. And so if you're anything like me, I think that this would be very valuable to have in the episodes that I create so that you guys can also be able to learn how to sift through the nuances and implement this stuff better for yourself. So the first question I have is how do you know that you're actually in that neutral state and that you're ready to leave a situation? So here's the thing because a lot of us can think that we're in a neutral state. when we're still emotional. And this is why, like obviously, training your intuition is amazing because then you can check percentages, you can see where you're at, you can look into the future timeline of things and be able to sift that out. But even if you haven't trained your intuition, the best way to know is when you get to that place emotionally, okay? I don't want you to think logically, emotionally, feeling like I am okay if I stay here. Like I am okay with The situation is being in full acceptance of the situation in itself, of the way it is, not wanting to change a single fucking thing about it because it's perfect the way it is. It's perfect the relationship that you have with it. And being okay with that. And at the same time, being like, and I'm also okay if I leave the situation because it's perfect. So being in that place is when you're gonna know that you're truly neutral. And I'm telling you, you gotta give yourself that time to get to that place because you're not gonna get there ASAP, especially if it's something important for you. Like for me was this job situation. I mean, it took me around two weeks and I was working at it like constantly of getting my emotions shifted, continuously keeping my perception from getting out of whack, even when I was there, when I was going back for my training shifts. And still showing up, you know, like not ignoring and not like trying to avoid the situation because that's also a tale telling sign that you're not neutral. It's being able to be with the situation fully in full acceptance and in love with it. because you see the equal amount of positives and the negatives with it. And so when you get to that place, like you are then able to make a decision from more of that aligned place because. You know, from there, from that emotional balance of you know what? This was great, this situation, this job is great, but I know that I deserve better and I want more for myself. It's from that feeling of expansion, of abundance, where you're making that decision and choice versus I just don't like it. Like I know I deserve better, because this sucks. you guys see the difference there. So that will help you with understanding where you're at. You will also feel it in your body too, because I notice when I'm emotionally grounded and neutral, my body feels really light even my thoughts are constantly like seeing the positive of the situation that I used to perceive as negative. That's when I know I'm good with it. Okay, the second question is how do you know if the situation that you're in is actually unaligned and you're making the right decision by actually moving on? So, how do you know if a situation is unaligned with you? Is when you feel that emotional disconnect, you feel that dis ease, as people call it, and when you feel just an emotion that does not feel good in your body. That is a reflection. That is basically telling you where you're emotionally out of balance And that is when you know that, hey, there's something to look into here. And until you dig in into the emotional root cause and you're digging into like what caused it, what created it, what the soul lesson is, until you go through that, there's no decision to make. Like you gotta go through that process. because It wouldn't have triggered you if it wasn't. So when it triggers you, any situation, like even the slightest bit, I want you to pay attention with that because a lot of times, like people don't feel physically triggered, but they feel triggered in their mind. Like in their mind, they may have a thought and a judgment of the situation, and that still counts. It may not be at a high level where you're feeling the emotion, but it's still good to tackle. The thoughts first because it all fucking starts there. Then before it gets bigger and bigger, because it will, because it is in your energy, it is in your awareness, and you haven't fully shifted that yet. somehow something caused it and started it. So it's important to be able to pay attention to those and have awareness. And when you know you're making the right decision is again when you're getting to that neutral place of having that emotional balance where you're like, I love it for what it is. I wouldn't change a thing. That is when you know that you're making the right decision based on you shifting and doing the inner work that you did to shift that reflection, to shift that emotional imbalance. Okay, and the last question is how do you know the lesson will stick and if you won't recreate it again? I think this is such a great question and something that I know a lot of people think about. I always do because I'm like, I don't want to create it again. Totally get it. You know that the lesson will stick and that it won't come back again when you first either see the situation shift in itself. So like this happens. And shows up a lot in relationships where the person starts treating you different and you'll notice that right away. Or, the the situations or the circumstances that you create in the environment. Like at the job for me, like I set intentions all the time for everything. But I remembered when I was in that emotionally balanced state, I felt like I was in flow. I was just attracting great situations being there. Like I didn't have to work as hard when I was there versus the first day when I was there. Like I was starting to notice subtle changes. So you'll start to notice that. And if you don't, let's say that if you feel like the situation hasn't changed, like not you and not your perception, but the situation in itself and the way that it's presenting to you. So like the people, if we feel like the person isn't you know, being kind to you and still disrespecting you or like whatever the situation was, or the work environment is still quote unquote toxic, then that's when you know that okay, you know, I haven't changed in my end of how I see this this situation. Like it's still perfect. I still am very neutral, like I'm not triggered, but now I know that the situation isn't aligned for me. That is when you'll know that the lesson has stayed with you and it's stuck with you because you're not triggered by it. And that's why I think it's so important for you to decode what the lesson is and to learn it as fast as you can, bitch. Learn as fast as you can. If especially if you're on like a time thing like I was with the job and I needed to make decisions, I made it a priority. But it's so important to learn your lessons because if you don't Girl, you're gonna learn it in a whole nother way that you don't wanna learn Because it's gonna be twice as intense than it was before. Because it's in the way of creating the life that you truly desire and that you want deep down. And maybe you're not even aware of that yet, but you're gonna be because you're on that path. So let me know your takeaways from this episode. I had so much fun sharing my story and like answering some of these questions to give you guys some context around understanding how emotions work and how much power you have in Being able to shift your reality just by shifting your emotions and being more in your power, feeling more emotionally balanced, more at peace, happier. I think this is so underrated and not often talked about in the manifestation world a lot of people are just scratching the surface, is what I will call it. Like they're not really going deep into what actually Creates the shifts in your life and emotions are everything. I think everybody needs to learn this skill because it's literally how we live in this world. It's literally how we create in our lives. So let me know your takeaways. my Instagram is darch vibes dr-sh V-I-B-E-S-S. Hit me up. Let me know what you took away, what you've implemented. I love to hear all about your wins and your shifts. And if you have any topic requests, feel free to send a DM on Instagram or email us. Thank you so much for tuning in and I will see you guys in the next episode. Bye.