Latest / Pretty In Pink Again / Episode 28: Back to School, Back to You: Transitions, Identity, and Letting Go

Transcript

Episode 28: Back to School, Back to You: Transitions, Identity, and Letting Go · Pretty In Pink Again

• 0:00
  I'm Christina and I'm T, and this is the Pretty and Pink Again podcast where motherhood meets rediscovery.
• 0:17
  Hello.
• 0:18
  Hey, how are you?
• 0:19
  I'm good.
• 0:20
  We're finally gonna do a catch up.
• 0:22
  We were just saying before we started rolling that it's been a while, even though we did so many solo, like me and you episodes the whole summer.
• 0:30
  It feels like it's been weeks since we've had a catch up.
• 0:33
  I know.
• 0:34
  We were you were on vacation for Yep.
• 0:36
  You had a long weekend, right?
• 0:37
  I did.
• 0:38
  You and Ra you did the ocean house.
• 0:40
  We did Rhode Island.
• 0:41
  Tell us about that island and Yeah, then I was away with the kids for the week and then my kids went back to school and then Nick and I were away and we just got back last night.
• 0:49
  I know.
• 0:50
  So it's been I know.
• 0:51
  Yeah.
• 0:51
  We've been like crossing each other and haven't really been able to sit down and catch up.
• 0:56
  So we figured.
• 0:57
  I know.
• 0:57
  Even when you got here today, I've been, I was Very tightlipped.
• 1:00
  'cause I wanna save the real ketchup for right now.
• 1:02
  Right now.
• 1:03
  I know.
• 1:03
  This is technically I guess summer is still the next couple of weeks.
• 1:07
  I hate to like rush saying it's over, but it's over.
• 1:09
  It is everybody, if you back to school, if you ask Chad GPT if summer's over, it'll say yes.
• 1:14
  It's over.
• 1:15
  It's over.
• 1:15
  So we figured we would close out the summer.
• 1:17
  And also summer's also over because you're brunette.
• 1:20
  I am.
• 1:21
  I jumped in.
• 1:22
  You are wearing brown.
• 1:23
  I am.
• 1:23
  And your hair is brown.
• 1:24
  That's it.
• 1:24
  That's it.
• 1:25
  So it's so summer's over for me.
• 1:26
  It's like August 31st.
• 1:28
  Still summer, September 1st fall.
• 1:32
  Did you see I put pumpkins out.
• 1:33
  Yeah, I did.
• 1:34
  Did you see the pumpkin on the camera??
• 1:35
  I, so I'm like, okay, we're clearly all on the same page here, but summer's over.
• 1:38
  So we figured we were gonna do a little close out to summer catch up and just talk through, like what we've learned, what we've been doing.
• 1:47
  Yeah.
• 1:47
  Also as people roll into the next season, your kids back to school, what does that look like?
• 1:53
  I know, is it, is it a busier season?
• 1:55
  It is it a slower season?
• 1:58
  'cause you might have time if your children are in school, but most people are busier when their kids are in school.
• 2:03
  It's a transition period.
• 2:04
  And it's a transition period.
• 2:05
  Yeah.
• 2:05
  And what that feels like when your kids are going through that transition period and how do you handle the drop offs, the pickups, that whole thing.
• 2:12
  We're actually going through that right now.
• 2:15
  Leo starts school this week.
• 2:17
  And so he's starting preschool three.
• 2:19
  So it's a threes program and it is.
• 2:22
  Monday, Wednesday, Friday from nine to 12.
• 2:24
  And that's our whole thing, is we're gonna get into this whole, okay, somebody needs to drop off, somebody needs to pick up, what are we doing with Layla?
• 2:33
  It's a whole transition period for us.
• 2:34
  Just when I feel like we got in the, a really good swing of having a really good schedule that was working for everybody.
• 2:41
  Here we are again.
• 2:42
  I know it's in a transition period, and I feel like that's just to 12, nine to 12 is hard.
• 2:47
  Anytime you're just going somewhere for a little while.
• 2:50
  Yeah.
• 2:50
  It's hard.
• 2:50
  It's hard on the kids.
• 2:51
  It's hard on mom and dad, it's hard to figure out what's a good system with that?
• 2:56
  Yes, exactly.
• 2:57
  Exactly.
• 2:57
  Do you take them mall?
• 2:58
  Exactly.
• 2:58
  Do you leave one home?
• 2:59
  Do you pay a sitter to stay home with one?
• 3:01
  Yeah.
• 3:01
  Do you go out, do you just stay out from nine to 12 and like work at the coffee shop, like you're gonna have to play around with it and see what That's what, that's exactly the plan.
• 3:10
  The plan is that we don't exactly know what's gonna work and what's not gonna work, and so we're just gonna figure it out as we go.
• 3:17
  But I feel like this is the first time that I've been like, ears perking up with like back to school.
• 3:24
  Because it hasn't affected me since I was 22 years old and I graduated college, so it's, I have been out of this space for so long.
• 3:33
  Yeah.
• 3:33
  And I can't even do the math.
• 3:35
  And so I feel like this is the first season where I'm like, wow, this is like really back to school and we're gonna be in this stage for however long, 18 more years until everybody's outta school.
• 3:46
  It's crazy.
• 3:46
  Yeah.
• 3:47
  Oh yeah.
• 3:48
  We are very much longer than that.
• 3:50
  My kids started last week.
• 3:52
  And so my oldest started middle school.
• 3:55
  Which, that was like a big transition for him.
• 3:57
  That's a one to go to.
• 3:58
  Middle school, there's a lot of fun privileges that come with middle school.
• 4:02
  Like you can be a walker after school, you can go, there's a little I will call it a coffee shop, but he's not getting coffee.
• 4:07
  There's a little like breakfast place that they can get food after.
• 4:10
  There's a little market.
• 4:11
  They can walk to the library, they can walk to their after school activities.
• 4:14
  There's a lot more independence that comes with it.
• 4:17
  So he is enjoying it.
• 4:19
  And then my middle one moved up to the intermediate school.
• 4:23
  And his feedback from his first day of school was, and you were here for this?
• 4:27
  I was, he was like, ma, they have a sandwich line.
• 4:30
  There's a deli line, but they don't have olive oil and vinegar and a oregano for the sandwiches.
• 4:36
  So I got him this little squirt bottle.
• 4:39
  It's a little silicone squirt bottle for his locker that he can, he could bring with him.
• 4:43
  He can bring with him.
• 4:44
  Oh, so he can make the sandwich of his dreams so he can dress his sandwich to his liking.
• 4:48
  Yep.
• 4:48
  He can dress it up.
• 4:49
  Yep.
• 4:49
  At school, I love him.
• 4:51
  And then the girls didn't really have much to report back, but so everybody no academic talk was had, but everybody, the social butterflies.
• 5:01
  Yeah they're good.
• 5:02
  They're happy.
• 5:03
  And how are you feeling with everybody back?
• 5:05
  Because the last time we talked your pink spotlight was that you were actually sad for this transition, where in the past you've been a little bit more like antsy to get this going.
• 5:15
  Yeah, no, I definitely missed them the first day.
• 5:17
  And I was saying that, I was like, oh, this is what mothers feel like when mothers like miss their kids.
• 5:23
  Because I've always been just like trying to push them away oh my God, leave me alone.
• 5:27
  Leave me, just leave me alone.
• 5:29
  And now.
• 5:30
  I was saying before that I think space sometimes breeds more space.
• 5:35
  And I like just wanted to have them around.
• 5:37
  I was enjoying their company.
• 5:38
  I'm enjoying their questions.
• 5:40
  Like I'm enjoying our time together.
• 5:42
  And I was a little sad for them to go.
• 5:44
  I know.
• 5:45
  So how was the transition back?
• 5:46
  I know you were away this weekend, but how do you feel now?
• 5:50
  Its been a week.
• 5:50
  Yeah.
• 5:50
  I think I feel okay.
• 5:51
  It's good.
• 5:52
  It seems okay.
• 5:52
  They're doing much better Yeah.
• 5:54
  Than last year.
• 5:55
  My daughter Camilla cries at every drop off.
• 5:59
  Any mother that's listening to this has a crier.
• 6:01
  Yeah.
• 6:01
  When you drop off, it is painful.
• 6:06
  I can imagine.
• 6:06
  Imagine.
• 6:06
  And I wish I could just give you some advice.
• 6:10
  I wish I could give you advice.
• 6:11
  'cause listen, I've tried it all.
• 6:13
  I tried the laminated chart on the back of the, on the back of the head of the seat in front of her.
• 6:18
  That if she had a good drop off, she'd get a smiley face and a smiley face meant she'd get a chocolate ice cream cone or a chocolate candy or whatever it was when she got the car.
• 6:29
  A little prize in the afternoon.
• 6:30
  We've tried everything.
• 6:32
  So it's just every drop off, it's just a transition.
• 6:35
  Every drop off for school, she's just emotional with transit.
• 6:37
  She'd cried and cried.
• 6:38
  Even in kindergarten last year, she wouldn't get on the bus.
• 6:41
  She'd cry for the bus.
• 6:42
  I would go through the school line.
• 6:43
  She would cling to me like a chief frog.
• 6:45
  Mm-hmm.
• 6:45
  I'd walk her into school.
• 6:46
  I would, it would be like ITT matter 10 o'clock.
• 6:48
  And I would just start my day.
• 6:50
  It was, oh my God.
• 6:51
  Didn't matter.
• 6:51
  Very taxing.
• 6:52
  I'm sure.
• 6:53
  I can't even imagine.
• 6:53
  So she.
• 6:55
  Is going to school so far and she's fine.
• 6:58
  And she seems okay.
• 6:59
  Oh good.
• 6:59
  That's huge.
• 7:01
  That's amazing.
• 7:02
  Knock on wood.
• 7:02
  Where's the wood?
• 7:03
  So maybe that's why I am not as exhausted.
• 7:05
  'cause when you have to hold your breath'cause you don't know what's happening next.
• 7:09
  Yes.
• 7:09
  It's like that's, yeah, that's I find right now that's the, my most tiring part is because I'm in like the toddler tantrum phase and that emotional burnout and exhaustion is like unlike anything.
• 7:24
  I feel like I've ever been through before.
• 7:26
  It's just, it's very, it's like walking on eggshells.
• 7:29
  So I can relate to you in that way where you're like, I don't know what's gonna happen.
• 7:32
  I don't know what's gonna set you off.
• 7:34
  I'm trying to do all the right things and it that anxiety is depleting for sure.
• 7:39
  Are you nervous about drop off?
• 7:41
  I am and the next step I am.
• 7:43
  What are you most nervous about?
• 7:44
  So I think.
• 7:46
  That I have that sort of kid, a deeply feelings kid.
• 7:50
  And so I am a little bit nervous, but I'm also hopeful.
• 7:54
  I feel like I'm building a lot up and by the time this airs, this will have happened already.
• 7:59
  So hopefully it did not go, like how I'm envisioning it's going, which is what you're saying with the, I'm sure this is the first time, so I'm sure it's gonna be emotional for both of us, but I'm gonna really try to hold it together.
• 8:11
  Mm-hmm.
• 8:11
  So that I'm obviously trying to be like the sturdy leader like we always say.
• 8:16
  Yeah.
• 8:17
  And a sturdy leader has to drop and run.
• 8:19
  Yes.
• 8:20
  I know.
• 8:20
  You know how hard it is Hard to drop and run.
• 8:22
  I know.
• 8:23
  I'm sure.
• 8:24
  I'm, I have been, I think the last probably like week and a half.
• 8:27
  This has been coming and I've been knowing it's been coming for months and probably several months at this point.
• 8:33
  And so I can't believe that we're actually here.
• 8:36
  And I have just been going over how this is gonna happen in my head for a very long time.
• 8:42
  Yeah.
• 8:42
  Like, how is this gonna happen?
• 8:43
  And we did the run through when we went last week with him and they're like, oh, we're dropping off.
• 8:50
  The parents stay outside.
• 8:51
  We all stay together and then we all walk in together.
• 8:54
  And so I was envisioning like leaving the classroom and going back down the hallway and that's not gonna happen.
• 8:59
  It's gonna be a little bit more of a drop off.
• 9:01
  Yeah.
• 9:01
  They take them from you.
• 9:02
  Yeah.
• 9:02
  Yes.
• 9:03
  And then they all go in at once and then they all go in together.
• 9:06
  So it's not like I'm leaving the building.
• 9:08
  I guess maybe that helps.
• 9:10
  I'm sure they know.
• 9:11
  They've probably done all of the AB testing of how this works.
• 9:14
  We also, it also builds a little independence because they hang up their backpack.
• 9:18
  They hang up their snack, they do their water bottle.
• 9:20
  They do their coat, yeah.
• 9:22
  So you've been through this before?
• 9:23
  I've been through this, yes.
• 9:25
  Four times.
• 9:25
  I know times.
• 9:26
  I know two or three.
• 9:28
  They've all gone to preschool for two or three years.
• 9:30
  I've been, I've just been it'll be interesting when it's over.
• 9:33
  Like when the first day is over, if this went Yeah.
• 9:36
  How I'm envisioning or if it's, maybe I will be pleasantly surprised.
• 9:40
  And honestly, that would even make me emotional too.
• 9:44
  If there's no tears or if there's minimal tears.
• 9:47
  And if it was just like a great day, I feel like I'm gonna have emotions either way, yes.
• 9:52
  To all you mamas out there who are sending your kids to college, to boarding school, to high school, to public school, wherever, to kindergarten, to anywhere.
• 10:02
  Yep.
• 10:02
  This episode is dedicated to you.
• 10:04
  I know.
• 10:05
  And we're all in this together.
• 10:06
  It's a big transition.
• 10:07
  It's a huge transition for mamas who are teachers who are working and sending their kids to school at the same time.
• 10:13
  I know.
• 10:13
  There's a lot.
• 10:14
  It's a lot.
• 10:14
  I'm, September is a month of transition.
• 10:16
  It is, and it's interesting to even think that this continues on, like you're saying then they go to a different school within their school system.
• 10:24
  So this is just, it just keeps building on itself and it's exciting for them.
• 10:28
  And I'm definitely somebody who I as a mom, i'm starting to like, love to get to see this part, of the, a little bit of the independence.
• 10:37
  And that excites me.
• 10:38
  Like when they get lit up doing something that they like it's so nice.
• 10:42
  He's also, he's gonna have three hours of his day that you weren't a part of.
• 10:46
  I know.
• 10:46
  And he's not gonna be the best storyteller right now.
• 10:50
  But he will.
• 10:51
  Come out with mom, I did X, Y, Z, or I met this friend, or i, I'm gravitating towards this person.
• 10:57
  You're gonna get to see this whole I did this other side of him tried.
• 11:00
  We learned this today.
• 11:01
  That's so exciting.
• 11:02
  And then it also, I read this book, I like this book, mom.
• 11:05
  Yeah, I read, it's exactly right.
• 11:06
  And it's not something that I brought into the house that I was a part of and that.
• 11:09
  Gonna be a huge transition for us.
• 11:11
  Yeah.
• 11:11
  And it's also gonna be a huge transition for his little sister who has never been alone in the house.
• 11:18
  Like I wonder if she's gonna be pissed.
• 11:19
  I think she's probably gonna have a mix of emotions too.
• 11:22
  She's probably gonna be like, wait, I get to play with anything without anybody interfering here.
• 11:28
  And I also think she's gonna be a little bit bored.
• 11:31
  So one of the days I'm taking her to gymnastics.
• 11:35
  So that's gonna be like our morning thing and I've ac, I've actually never done a I can't say I've never done anything alone with her, but because they're so close in age, right?
• 11:44
  I've done most things.
• 11:46
  I would say both 90% of the things with both of them, right?
• 11:49
  So this is actually gonna be our time where we get to spend a little bit of time where I did not have that issue with Leo, right?
• 11:55
  It was me and Leo all the time, right?
• 11:57
  So this is actually gonna be a transition for Layla and I to get a little bit of alone time.
• 12:02
  Should be fun and fun, do things together.
• 12:03
  So it's just gonna be.
• 12:05
  Just a big week.
• 12:07
  That's fun.
• 12:07
  Yeah.
• 12:08
  There's a trail behind gymnastics and so I used to run or walk that with one of the kids just to kill extra time.
• 12:15
  Oh yeah.
• 12:16
  And the other one Good to know in school, because if you're doing a drop off at nine Yes.
• 12:20
  And you have to be back for 12.
• 12:21
  Yes.
• 12:21
  And you're gonna go to gymnastics, which is there's still gonna be five minutes, there's still time, but there's not like a lot of time to come home because it's fine for you to pop in, throw in a load of laundry, do whatever.
• 12:33
  But like, when you're bringing your little one with you, you have to like factor in.
• 12:38
  Transition time for her.
• 12:39
  What are we doing?
• 12:40
  We're getting in and outta the car, yes.
• 12:42
  So that it's not enough time for us to go back in and her to re acclimate to the house.
• 12:46
  So it's, yeah.
• 12:47
  So we're gonna, it's gonna be a lot of kind of trial and error.
• 12:50
  Yeah.
• 12:51
  And I'm gonna need all the tips moms, because I feel like, but this is gonna be exciting.
• 12:55
  You'll know what works best.
• 12:56
  I know.
• 12:56
  You'll figure, I know.
• 12:57
  We'll get into a groove just like we have.
• 12:59
  And I do feel like it's.
• 13:01
  Again with the transitions, and this is a time, the summer's ending, it's time to reflect how much more confident you do get.
• 13:08
  So if we have any like new moms, listen, I still consider myself a new mom, but if you have, if you're like a new mom, you get a little bit more confident as time goes on.
• 13:17
  So I think that I thought I would be a lot more anxious.
• 13:20
  I am anxious, but it's not as much as I probably would've thought that I was.
• 13:25
  I feel like I'm confident with decisions and just, I guess that mental state of just, we'll figure it out.
• 13:31
  I'm comfortable with that now, where at the beginning it was such a hard.
• 13:35
  Mental state to navigate for me.
• 13:37
  And now I'm just I live in that space of we'll figure it out.
• 13:41
  We always do.
• 13:41
  What a good healthy mindset.
• 13:43
  It's way to go.
• 13:44
  I feel like it's just how this has like naturally progressed.
• 13:47
  I like that for you.
• 13:48
  Yeah.
• 13:49
  Because that, because the alternative is second guessing yourself and second guessing every step of the way and trying to problem solve before things even happen.
• 13:57
  Yes.
• 13:58
  It's the problem.
• 13:59
  It's so tiring.
• 13:59
  Yes.
• 14:00
  And it doesn't work, but just rolling with it.
• 14:02
  Yeah.
• 14:02
  And also like you've had some exposure therapy to it.
• 14:04
  You've been out with the kids when things have gone awry.
• 14:07
  Yep.
• 14:08
  And you're still here to talk about it.
• 14:09
  Exactly.
• 14:10
  So are they?
• 14:10
  Yep.
• 14:11
  So how bad could it be?
• 14:13
  So you just have to roll with it.
• 14:14
  You just roll with it, you figure it out.
• 14:16
  We will all figure it out.
• 14:17
  We'll all figure out this new transition.
• 14:20
  All right.
• 14:20
  So you're gonna come up with a list of things that work during that three hours?
• 14:23
  Yeah.
• 14:24
  And I can share car wash for sure.
• 14:25
  I know.
• 14:26
  Car wash.
• 14:26
  I was gonna say we'll stop in.
• 14:27
  Maybe we'll grab a coffee.
• 14:29
  Maybe I'll go grab lunch so that when we pick Leo up Yeah.
• 14:32
  It'll be ready to go.
• 14:33
  Like we'll be able to play activities.
• 14:34
  Yeah.
• 14:35
  Some littles, little filler.
• 14:36
  Yeah.
• 14:36
  Some jersey mikes.
• 14:38
  That's my weakness.
• 14:39
  But yeah, I think we'll figure it out and we'll learn as we go.
• 14:43
  I like that for you.
• 14:44
  Good, good.
• 14:45
  So let's do a little summer ketchup.
• 14:49
  So where did we leave off last?
• 14:50
  So you were away?
• 14:52
  Yep.
• 14:52
  So we did for your 10 year anniversary.
• 14:54
  Yeah.
• 14:54
  Raja and I celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary.
• 14:57
  We've been together for 18 years this year, but we've been married for 10.
• 15:01
  So you've been together since 2007.
• 15:03
  2007.
• 15:04
  Wow.
• 15:04
  Yes, which is crazy.
• 15:05
  So we celebrated our 10 year anniversary, which was really nice.
• 15:09
  We went away.
• 15:10
  Anniversary was August 1st.
• 15:12
  We went away in Midgut and we went to Ocean House in Rhode Island, which is in Watch Hill.
• 15:18
  It's so beautiful.
• 15:19
  It's right by Taylor Swift's house, which was so funny because she just got engaged.
• 15:23
  So it was like, I feel like I've been I'm like a secret swifty.
• 15:27
  Not that I don't like, not that I'm not proud of it, but it's just not something that I outwardly share all the time.
• 15:32
  But I love her.
• 15:33
  I listen to her music.
• 15:34
  I was so pregnant during the ERAS tour, so I couldn't go, but I would've loved to have gone to that.
• 15:40
  And, but it's just funny that we went there and we've always known, we've like obviously visited Watch Hill like you guys have too.
• 15:46
  And so her house, she's had that house for I think like about 10 years or maybe a little less than that.
• 15:52
  And.
• 15:52
  Her house is right next to this beautiful resort in Watch Hill, Rhode Island, and it's three down from it.
• 16:00
  But when you're there, you can literally look up and it's see, it's right there on a bluff and it, you can see it.
• 16:05
  It's just very prominent and very beautiful.
• 16:07
  And it's funny because I've been into the summer, I turned pretty, she's like a huge part of that, like her music and all that.
• 16:15
  So I feel like I've been extra listening to her this summer and then we went there.
• 16:20
  So she was like in the back of my mind the whole time of oh, that's our house.
• 16:23
  Was she there?
• 16:24
  She wasn't there.
• 16:25
  They're renovating it looked like, because there was a ton of construction going on there.
• 16:28
  But then she did the announcement of her album.
• 16:32
  The podcast.
• 16:32
  Yeah.
• 16:32
  So that was like the week that we were going.
• 16:34
  She announced on the podcast that she has a new album.
• 16:37
  So when we were there, there was so much.
• 16:40
  Media like just if you open, if you looked in a newspaper on a magazine, everywhere that you went.
• 16:45
  And then it's like the tie to Rhode Island'cause she's a resident there and then we come back and she gets engaged so I'm like wow.
• 16:52
  She's just really having quite a moment and quite a summer and it was fun to see it and we're like, do you think she's gonna get married there?
• 17:00
  We're now so invest.
• 17:00
  We probably talked about her, my husband and I a lot because we were just so invested in everything that's going on.
• 17:07
  But it was beautiful.
• 17:08
  Other than that, it was, I cannot recommend that place enough.
• 17:11
  Yeah.
• 17:11
  If you are anywhere in New England, go there.
• 17:14
  I guess even into New York.
• 17:16
  Or New Jersey or anywhere that's like drivable to there.
• 17:19
  That was such a wonderful place.
• 17:21
  It was.
• 17:22
  It's definitely like a special occasion type of place, but it's a resort and I feel like there's not a lot of places where you can go and you feel like unless you leave the country and you feel like you're at any sort of resort where you're like, we're away.
• 17:35
  This felt like that.
• 17:36
  There's multiple restaurants.
• 17:38
  There's Mul Spa.
• 17:39
  Yes.
• 17:40
  Everything is like full service.
• 17:41
  And you're not driving the towel service.
• 17:43
  Yep.
• 17:44
  The beach.
• 17:45
  Yep.
• 17:45
  So if it really felt like a vacation and it was drivable, which honestly made it even better because we drove and within two, two hours you start your vacation door to two hours.
• 17:55
  Yes.
• 17:55
  Yeah.
• 17:55
  Two, maybe not even, it was an hour 40 in the car.
• 17:58
  And I swear it was like packing two duffle bags and like unpacking two duffle bags, two hours door to door.
• 18:04
  We were sitting on the beach.
• 18:06
  Oh, that's awesome.
• 18:06
  Or during lunch.
• 18:07
  So we were like, this is just, and how did the kids do in your absence?
• 18:10
  They did great.
• 18:11
  Like they had, we had a system figured out.
• 18:14
  We have, we're very lucky that we have the help that we do.
• 18:17
  And so that was great.
• 18:18
  They had a great time.
• 18:19
  It was a few days, so it wasn't too much.
• 18:21
  And, I felt comfortable being, again, driving distance from them for those three days that we were gone.
• 18:28
  But it was just really nice and it felt like a true vacation.
• 18:32
  Good.
• 18:32
  It was beautiful.
• 18:33
  Highly, Highly recommend.
• 18:34
  That's awesome.
• 18:35
  Oh good.
• 18:36
  I'm so happy to hear that.
• 18:37
  Yeah, it was really nice.
• 18:38
  Good.
• 18:38
  What about you?
• 18:39
  Because you did a trip with the family and then a trip without the family?
• 18:43
  Yeah, so Nick is from New Jersey and his grandmother lived in Long Beach Island, New Jersey.
• 18:48
  And so she actually sold the house, I wanna say the summer before I even met Nick.
• 18:52
  So I never went to her house.
• 18:54
  But when I met Nick, he and I started vacationing in Long Beach Island.
• 18:58
  So my math could be off a little bit, but the island is approximately 15 miles long.
• 19:04
  Oh.
• 19:05
  And it's only four blocks wide, so no matter where you are on the island, you're on water.
• 19:10
  Oh, that's nice.
• 19:11
  Wow.
• 19:11
  You're either on the bay side or you're on the ocean Atlantic Ocean.
• 19:15
  It is.
• 19:16
  Heaven.
• 19:17
  It so nice.
• 19:18
  It is so nice.
• 19:19
  It is so chill.
• 19:20
  I booked it really last minute because Nick's been like crazy busy at work and it's been hard for him to get away.
• 19:27
  And I said, I'm just gonna book this house.
• 19:29
  I'm gonna book it for a week.
• 19:29
  I'm gonna go with the kids.
• 19:30
  Come when you can.
• 19:32
  Come when you can.
• 19:33
  It'll be fine.
• 19:34
  So I got there on Monday and he came Wednesday night and then we ended up and we, we had it for the week and it was.
• 19:41
  It was awesome fun.
• 19:42
  It was so much fun.
• 19:43
  There was a hurricane going on.
• 19:45
  Yeah.
• 19:45
  Hurricane Erin.
• 19:46
  So the weather was not great for half of it the first couple days.
• 19:50
  Yeah.
• 19:50
  Yeah.
• 19:50
  But there's but honestly it ended up being fine.
• 19:53
  The kids went mini golfing.
• 19:54
  We did eating as an activity.
• 19:56
  We like went to like, all right, we're gonna have a drink here.
• 19:59
  We're gonna have the pizza here, we're gonna have the oysters here.
• 20:02
  My kids love to eat, so sometimes it's, you get sad when the weather is not the best, but I feel like when you're still away it doesn't matter.
• 20:09
  It was fine.
• 20:10
  There was so much to do.
• 20:11
  It still do to scenery.
• 20:12
  Like I took the kids back to school shopping'cause there was like tons of shopping there.
• 20:15
  We got our nails done, it was great.
• 20:17
  The kids went fishing, they brought their scooters, they played pickleball, like there's like fantasy island there.
• 20:22
  So they did the arcades and the rides and so fun.
• 20:25
  One of my girlfriends from town was there with her kids, coincidentally.
• 20:29
  So we hung out there one them one day, like it was such nice.
• 20:34
  Family time for the six of us.
• 20:36
  I love that.
• 20:36
  Before I know,'cause I was gonna say back to school, like that was right before school started, so that was like your last kind of trip.
• 20:42
  Yeah.
• 20:42
  Which is so nice.
• 20:43
  It was great.
• 20:44
  You like held onto summer?
• 20:45
  I did.
• 20:45
  The house was awesome.
• 20:46
  It was right on the beach, so I said.
• 20:48
  To the realtor.
• 20:49
  I said, next year I wanna go for two weeks.
• 20:51
  Oh, so nice.
• 20:51
  I just liked it there so much.
• 20:53
  Yep.
• 20:53
  That's the best I know.
• 20:54
  So yeah, that was, I highly recommend Long Beach Island.
• 20:58
  I know.
• 20:58
  If you're looking for a family vacation, I know, and we talked about this at the beginning, I think it was like at the beginning of the summer when we did like a little summer catch up and just sometimes simplifying.
• 21:09
  And not overdoing it, where it's like not everybody has to get on a plane.
• 21:13
  You don't have to make it so complicated.
• 21:15
  Sometimes it's just a change of scenery somewhere else is so exciting.
• 21:20
  And there's no, I feel like with social media and sometimes just comparing things you're like, I don't know, people take these extravagant trips somewhere else and you're, everybody is summering in Europe and you're like, that's wonderful, but you don't have to do that in order to have a wonderful vacation and just a change of scenery.
• 21:37
  We literally love driving just down to the Connecticut shoreline for a week and that made a huge difference for us and just, and we're going back next summer.
• 21:46
  So I feel like sometimes it's just simplifying.
• 21:48
  Yeah, and like just getting a change of scenery with the family and the kids.
• 21:51
  Just love that time.
• 21:51
  What you're looking, it's what you're looking to achieve if you're looking to just spend some time as family together.
• 21:57
  And that doesn't always have to be in the south of France.
• 22:00
  It doesn't, no.
• 22:01
  Or it doesn't have to mean getting on a plane, especially when you're in the northeast or if you're in part of the country where it's beautiful, where you are in the summer, just go somewhere local.
• 22:10
  Just change.
• 22:11
  If it's an hour away, it's a change up and it just, it feels so good.
• 22:15
  And you're cutting that travel time and you're, it's just so much easier.
• 22:19
  Packing the car, it's just, it's so much easier.
• 22:21
  Yeah.
• 22:21
  This trip we went on this weekend did require a plane ride.
• 22:24
  It's not that was you guys.
• 22:25
  Yeah.
• 22:26
  So I Have you ever been to Grand Cayman Island?
• 22:28
  I have, but not.
• 22:29
  I, we've only been like on a stop we've never stayed, we've never been like staying on the island.
• 22:34
  Okay.
• 22:35
  This place is a 10.
• 22:36
  Oh, amazing.
• 22:37
  It was an 11.
• 22:38
  I wish the kids were there.
• 22:39
  They would've loved the trip.
• 22:41
  I wanna copy and paste it and do it with them next time.
• 22:44
  That's amazing.
• 22:44
  They would love it.
• 22:45
  So we stayed at the Ritz and Grand Cayman Islands, I guess Grand Cayman Island or Cayman Islands is comprised of three islands.
• 22:51
  So we stayed in Grand Cayman.
• 22:53
  Grand Cayman.
• 22:53
  Yeah, that's a big one.
• 22:54
  I think it was amazing.
• 22:56
  It was so beautiful.
• 22:58
  The hotel was beautiful.
• 22:59
  They had this breakfast every day that was included if you book with American Express.
• 23:04
  So we had like free breakfast every morning and it was just like amazing.
• 23:08
  And this morning when I woke up and I had to make myself my Yeah, you're like oatmeal and drink my.
• 23:13
  Shitty coffee.
• 23:14
  I'm like, fuck.
• 23:16
  It was just so much better.
• 23:18
  Oh, I, I know.
• 23:19
  Oh my God.
• 23:20
  But the breakfast was amazing.
• 23:21
  Like ev all the food was amazing.
• 23:23
  We had like yummy seafood.
• 23:25
  We did this like boat day and we did I guess you can call it a catamaran.
• 23:29
  Oh yeah.
• 23:30
  Cool.
• 23:30
  Because it has the flat bottom.
• 23:31
  Yep.
• 23:31
  So you can take the boat right up into shallow waters.
• 23:35
  So we did this swimming with the sea rays.
• 23:37
  Oh, so fun.
• 23:38
  And we kissed the sea rays.
• 23:39
  They said that give you good luck for seven years.
• 23:42
  So we like all kissed the sea rays.
• 23:44
  Oh, there you go.
• 23:44
  We fed them.
• 23:46
  We this was a hair wet vacation too.
• 23:48
  Yeah.
• 23:48
  I love that hair.
• 23:49
  I like swam.
• 23:49
  Your hair was wet.
• 23:50
  I love it.
• 23:50
  They did this like swimming with what is it called?
• 23:53
  The Starfish.
• 23:54
  And then we went to Rum Island.
• 23:56
  You got at it.
• 23:57
  Oh, I got, oh, love it.
• 23:58
  So we go to Rum Island, we pull up and they're like, all right, we're gonna drop you off here.
• 24:03
  Walk a hundred feet that way.
• 24:06
  And there is Rum Island.
• 24:08
  Rum Island sounds.
• 24:09
  So what do you think you do at Rum Island?
• 24:11
  Drink.
• 24:11
  You drink rum.
• 24:12
  So we go, so I don't drink a lot.
• 24:16
  I have one or two drinks and I'm usually wasted.
• 24:19
  And if I have three, I'm puking.
• 24:21
  Yeah.
• 24:21
  So I don't.
• 24:23
  I don't usually, I live in the one to two.
• 24:25
  Yeah, one to two era.
• 24:27
  So we go to Rum Island and I'm in my wet bathing suit.
• 24:31
  I have my period, I'm wearing a white bathing suit and I'm just like, fuck it.
• 24:36
  Yeah.
• 24:36
  I'm just gonna, I'm here, I'm just gonna go for it.
• 24:39
  So we're at this like bar, I'm like, we're like barefoot.
• 24:42
  I'm wet, my hair is wet.
• 24:44
  And it was just the best time.
• 24:45
  Oh, that's, I know.
• 24:46
  That's so nice.
• 24:46
  I had my, my, the mudslides were amazing.
• 24:49
  They like mudslides, french fries.
• 24:51
  So then we're like walking back to the boat I'm like the captain of this boat's probably look at these idiots.
• 24:57
  Oh no, you just enjoying yourself from island.
• 25:00
  Oh, he probably sees a lot worse.
• 25:02
  I'm sure he does.
• 25:02
  Bringing people back and forth around island.
• 25:04
  I'm sure he has some stories.
• 25:07
  So the next stop they did like the jet skis and like the water toys and I stayed on the boat and I read my book.
• 25:13
  Oh, nice.
• 25:14
  Oh my gosh.
• 25:14
  It was just so much fun.
• 25:16
  Oh, good for you.
• 25:16
  The simple things I know, but that's, no, that's so nice.
• 25:19
  And that was nice time for you and Nick and another kind of memory to close out Summer.
• 25:23
  It was such good times.
• 25:24
  And then I'm reading the best book.
• 25:26
  Okay.
• 25:26
  Tell me about your book.
• 25:27
  It's called Next to Heaven.
• 25:28
  Okay.
• 25:28
  My girlfriend Casey, when we were in LBI.
• 25:30
  Mm-hmm.
• 25:31
  I was like, what?
• 25:31
  Can you tell me a good book to read?
• 25:33
  I'm almost done with my book.
• 25:34
  And she said, download this book Next to Heaven.
• 25:36
  Next to heaven.
• 25:36
  So it takes place in New Bethlehem, Connecticut.
• 25:39
  Okay.
• 25:40
  Which apparently is like a very wealthy town in Connecticut.
• 25:44
  And there's these five couples that are all like, the husbands are all like prep school background uber wealthy.
• 25:51
  Like the McAllisters?
• 25:53
  Yeah.
• 25:53
  Like generational.
• 25:54
  This generational wealth.
• 25:55
  And the wives are basically bored housewives, and they decide to throw a swingers' party.
• 26:02
  Oh.
• 26:02
  And they all hook up with each other's husbands.
• 26:07
  Just some light summer reading and then there's a murder involved.
• 26:11
  Of course.
• 26:11
  I was gonna say, wait, so highly recommend.
• 26:15
  Just recommend it.
• 26:16
  Murder always.
• 26:18
  I was gonna say, wait, come on.
• 26:19
  There's gotta be something else.
• 26:20
  Highly recommend it.
• 26:21
  I love it.
• 26:22
  Okay, maybe that will be next on my list as I read 15 minutes a night still, but I'll get there anyway.
• 26:30
  Oh my God.
• 26:30
  Oh, that's so good.
• 26:31
  The no workings of my brain.
• 26:32
  So yes.
• 26:33
  So we read a book and then we came home yesterday and the kids charged the car when we got home.
• 26:39
  Oh, I'm sure they missed you.
• 26:40
  And they probably had so much to tell you too.
• 26:42
  Yeah.
• 26:43
  Basically that they don't like when we leave.
• 26:46
  I know.
• 26:46
  And blah, blah, blah.
• 26:47
  I know.
• 26:48
  I know.
• 26:49
  The guilt.
• 26:49
  You always say that.
• 26:51
  It's harder to leave them when they're older, and I feel like it's harder to leave them now.
• 26:54
  Yeah.
• 26:55
  So hard to leave them.
• 26:56
  And they were fine.
• 26:57
  They were very well cared for, obviously.
• 26:59
  Like when Vincent told me what he did this weekend, he's I went to a Yukon football game with grandpa.
• 27:04
  I went fishing again, I had a play date.
• 27:05
  We swam, we did this, we had steak, we had lobster, blah, blah, blah.
• 27:09
  I'm like, wow.
• 27:10
  Yeah.
• 27:10
  Sounds like you had a real shitty time.
• 27:12
  Yeah.
• 27:13
  What are you complaining about?
• 27:15
  They missed you.
• 27:20
  Okay.
• 27:20
  I have a question for you.
• 27:21
  Yeah.
• 27:22
  What kind of drop off mom do you think you're gonna be?
• 27:25
  Are you gonna be.
• 27:27
  A chatty mom, are you gonna be a get right back in the car?
• 27:30
  Mom?
• 27:30
  I don't know.
• 27:31
  I feel I'm going three days a week.
• 27:33
  I feel like it's gonna depend on the day.
• 27:34
  I feel like the days that I have to bring, like we have to go to gymnastics, I'm probably gonna have to get in the car and go, because I scheduled that to be like, a little bit like here to there.
• 27:46
  But I think I might be somewhere in the middle.
• 27:49
  I like catching up.
• 27:50
  I don't have a ton of socializing during the day because I work for myself and unless I'm here in this chair, like having a, a casual meetup with somebody, I don't get a ton of social time, so I don't mind a little bit of a chat.
• 28:04
  I just can't spend obviously like my day doing that, but what were you, what does one wear?
• 28:09
  Does school drop off?
• 28:09
  I know.
• 28:10
  This is gonna be interesting and I am putting my foot in my mouth from the shit I used to talk before I became a mom.
• 28:18
  I think I admitted this on this podcast and I've definitely admitted this to friends, but I used to be like, why do you need a school drop off outfit inspiration?
• 28:28
  'Cause I would always see these outfits and it would be like school drop off, school drop.
• 28:31
  And I would be like, I don't get it.
• 28:33
  You're literally wearing, a sweat set or so, or like leggings and something.
• 28:37
  And I would be like, I don't understand why this is a thing, but.
• 28:40
  Now I do.
• 28:41
  I'm like, I feel like I need to be organized.
• 28:44
  I need to wake up.
• 28:44
  I need to know what I'm wearing.
• 28:46
  I wanna put something on, like that's at least that I could be out in and if I have to, if I'm leaving for the day or the morning, like that's what I'm in.
• 28:55
  I'm committing to something.
• 28:56
  And so now I see that and I'm like, okay, now I need all of the school drop off inspiration because you need an outfit.
• 29:03
  And you wanna look semi presentable, but you also wanna be comfortable.
• 29:07
  So I get it now and I'm like, I'm sorry for all of the silent judging I did of collages on Pinterest and LTK that I did for, 10 years where I would see these and be like, what on earth do you need that inspiration for?
• 29:21
  It's not like you're going somewhere, but now you know.
• 29:23
  Now I know.
• 29:23
  Now you're going somewhere.
• 29:24
  Now I know.
• 29:25
  Maybe I will be curating some back to school.
• 29:29
  School drop off looks.
• 29:30
  School drop off to dinner.
• 29:32
  Maybe I'll start documenting that.
• 29:34
  Yeah or just school drop off.
• 29:36
  I'm like I'm a changer.
• 29:37
  Like I don't stay in an outfit for the whole entire day, but.
• 29:42
  I feel at least for the morning, like that's what I'm gonna be in for three days, so it's sometimes I feel like I can hang into some like lounge wear or like house kind of lounge wear.
• 29:52
  But I'm gonna try, it also will be part of like my day, okay, I'm getting dressed so that if I'm out for three hours, four hours, by the time I do drop off and pick up, if I happen to be out for those, for that period of time, I'm gonna wanna be in something cute but comfortable and something that I wouldn't be embarrassed to see other people in.
• 30:12
  So maybe I'll start really documenting those looks because I'm gonna have to get crafty and have to be organized.
• 30:19
  And you're gonna talk to other moms?
• 30:20
  Yeah.
• 30:21
  Maybe make a friend.
• 30:22
  Yeah.
• 30:23
  I feel like there's, I feel like to me that's like very exciting because yes.
• 30:28
  It's not something that I've been able to do before.
• 30:30
  I've been really out of that school scene.
• 30:32
  Yeah.
• 30:33
  So we shall see.
• 30:34
  Oh, I love that.
• 30:34
  Oh, stay tuned.
• 30:35
  Yeah, we shall see.
• 30:36
  Stay tuned.
• 30:37
  Yeah, I know.
• 30:38
  I've met some of my closest friends I know at preschool.
• 30:41
  I know with the kids.
• 30:42
  I know you have, and I feel like I hear other people that have done the same thing, and so it is very exciting to now be in this chapter, but yeah.
• 30:50
  Yeah.
• 30:50
  But I was like a yoga pants and tank top mom.
• 30:53
  Yeah.
• 30:53
  That's, I think it's gonna depend on the day if I'm going to a class from there, if I'm on my own, if I'm with going to gymnastics with Layla from after that, like it's gonna vary based on the day and what I have going on.
• 31:03
  Thought I was a yoga instructor.
• 31:05
  Yeah, you were always in your set and I was, that's why.
• 31:07
  Nope.
• 31:08
  I don't even have a workout today.
• 31:10
  Just a mom.
• 31:11
  So I guess since you're a seasoned mom, do you have any tips for me and for anybody else to make the transitions a little bit easier?
• 31:20
  Like it could be like daily transitions to get out of the house.
• 31:23
  I know you've shared some of your hacks, but it's been a long time since you've done that on here?
• 31:27
  Or just any kind of mindset hacks or anything?
• 31:30
  I think my biggest hack and this is a new, this is a new hack and I wish it, it had been just shoved into my face mm-hmm.
• 31:40
  like 10 years ago.
• 31:41
  Okay.
• 31:42
  Is that you have to accept that this whole experience is unsettling.
• 31:47
  It's unsettling for you, and it's unsettling for your child.
• 31:50
  It's all transition.
• 31:51
  It's like your nervous system has been shaken up.
• 31:54
  Think of a snow globe as like your body.
• 31:56
  Yeah.
• 31:57
  And there's like the snow everywhere.
• 31:58
  Everything has been shaken up.
• 32:00
  It's unsettling for everybody and I think that the sooner you just accept.
• 32:04
  That it's new and that's all that you're feeling, and that's all that your child is feeling is just like this newness and this unsettledness and that it'll pass, that everything's gonna be okay.
• 32:15
  Yeah.
• 32:15
  It's just, it'll pass.
• 32:16
  It's just all new.
• 32:17
  It's like being comfortable with the uncomfortable.
• 32:19
  Yeah.
• 32:19
  Yeah.
• 32:19
  It's not, there's not anything else going on that you need to explore.
• 32:23
  You don't have some weird ailment.
• 32:24
  Your child doesn't have some weird psychological or, behavioral issue.
• 32:30
  Like it's just this newness.
• 32:32
  I think when things progress and they linger and they never die down, that's when you have to investigate further.
• 32:38
  Of course.
• 32:38
  But of course, I think that's my best advice that I like that and gonna follow that advice.
• 32:43
  It's all new, it's all unsettling, the school transitions, the family transitions, like the shifts that you have to eat dinner at a different time.
• 32:50
  You're, you were clo used to all being together and now you're not, there's instead of having six balls together in the house, they're like all ped all over the town.
• 32:59
  Yeah.
• 32:59
  Everybody's all over the place.
• 33:01
  More activities are starting.
• 33:02
  So your schedules change.
• 33:04
  Yeah.
• 33:04
  Like what you just said, like lunchtime, dinner time, breakfast time, anything might be shifted and it's just I'm, it's just hard.
• 33:11
  It really is just hard.
• 33:12
  Yeah.
• 33:12
  Anytime you're going through something and it's hard, I think as the mom, and we always say that like sturdy leader, that you aim to be, right?
• 33:21
  You wanna be like the rock of your family.
• 33:23
  It's hard when you're going through it, you know your kid is going through it, your kids are going through it and.
• 33:32
  You're trying to be the rock to hold it all together, but you're going through the transition as well.
• 33:38
  So I do like that advice.
• 33:39
  Yeah, I think you just have to accept it and also just say those words to your kids, like mantra that to your kids, right?
• 33:45
  This is new for you.
• 33:46
  This is new for mommy, right?
• 33:48
  This is gonna feel a little funny.
• 33:50
  Yeah, that we're gonna work through it together.
• 33:52
  So I will have my kind bar, my nineties playlist or whatever playlist I will be doing.
• 33:59
  All of those things you're to, there're things that help reset me.
• 34:02
  Yeah.
• 34:02
  You're back to your reset hacks because now you're back, you're like thrust back into that very structured, you have things going on every single day.
• 34:11
  It's not that kind of more like lazy, carefree summer vibe where it's just like whatever goes, we're rolling with it.
• 34:18
  You wanna be able to roll with it, but you also need to know how to reset yourself.
• 34:22
  And so I guess to that too, it's moms just remember,'cause it's taking us back to so many episodes that we've done where we've talked about like the nervous system resetting Yes.
• 34:31
  And things that you can do filling your cup so that.
• 34:34
  So that you can pour into others and your, the rest of your family.
• 34:38
  You can't take care of anybody else if you don't take care of yourself and if you have an opportunity right now for your children to be in school and you have the privilege of alone time explore during that alone time, what that even means to fill your cup.
• 34:54
  'Cause it means different things for different people.
• 34:57
  And it'll mean different things at different points of your life.
• 34:59
  So explore what are things that reset you and then do those things and little micro doses when you have to yep.
• 35:08
  So you get comfortable with learning, like what makes you feel at ease level, right level.
• 35:12
  Yeah.
• 35:13
  Yeah, for sure.
• 35:14
  So that would be my biggest hack.
• 35:15
  Yep.
• 35:15
  So you are, you have your drink that you like, your little dark chocolate.
• 35:19
  Make sure you're not hangry your nineties playlist to reset your mood.
• 35:23
  And I do all these things for the kids too.
• 35:25
  I love that.
• 35:26
  Yeah, we are off to the races.
• 35:28
  I think that something that was from last week's episode that really stuck, which was so good.
• 35:32
  Me with, by the way.
• 35:33
  Yeah.
• 35:33
  If you haven't listened to our episode with Marissa Mead from Style Cusp, who has been a dear friend of mine for almost 15 years.
• 35:41
  You can listen.
• 35:42
  It's our last episode and she talked about.
• 35:46
  This identity versus roles.
• 35:49
  And she actually gets into this a lot on her podcast as well.
• 35:53
  She has a podcast and one of the episodes is about this.
• 35:55
  And t and I have talked just about how this can relate to moms.
• 36:00
  And you actually brought it up on last week's episode where you're like, I'm obviously Christina, but I'm a mom and that's my role, that's not my identity.
• 36:10
  And I don't know, it just really stuck with me because I feel like a huge part of this podcast is I guess that is differentiating that.
• 36:20
  Is coming to terms with that, because I feel like you can really get lost in this role of being a mom.
• 36:27
  And can we open up that discussion for when you, when like the role of mom feels like it's becoming your entire identity and maybe we expand on a whole episode about this.
• 36:37
  'cause I do think that we can take that, what she said and relate it back to us and like what we talk about on this podcast all the time.
• 36:44
  I think she said it in the vein of when you are creating friendships Yes.
• 36:49
  And meeting other people.
• 36:50
  Yes.
• 36:51
  And right now, you're entering a season where you're gonna be meeting people as a mom.
• 36:56
  And not meeting people Yes.
• 36:57
  As a content creator.
• 36:59
  Like how you met Marissa or as a professional Right.
• 37:02
  Or, in, in some other facet of your life.
• 37:04
  So you're gonna be meeting people as moms, so that'll be what you've been introduced as Yes.
• 37:09
  As the mom.
• 37:10
  Someone's mom.
• 37:10
  As somebody's mom.
• 37:11
  Yeah.
• 37:11
  That's one of the roles that you play.
• 37:13
  Yep.
• 37:14
  And I think that when that's your main role being mom.
• 37:17
  Mm-hmm.
• 37:18
  And you don't do other things, that's when you I think lose your full identity.
• 37:24
  And mom takes over your identity For sure.
• 37:26
  And I think that at different parts of your life, like the pieces of the pie, you're gonna shift and mom's gonna take up a bigger piece than maybe it would at other times, but I think it's just important to.
• 37:39
  Always keep in mind that is a role you're playing.
• 37:41
  It's not your entire person.
• 37:44
  And I think, yes, I think that's a really good point.
• 37:46
  It's a really interesting kind of point in my life to hear that.
• 37:50
  Because you just said, I am transitioning into this school where I'm gonna be meeting new people and I'm always going to be like Leo and Layla's mom.
• 37:59
  Yeah.
• 37:59
  Like to the outside world.
• 38:01
  And I have had, I don't wanna say like struggle'cause I don't like, I feel like that's negative.
• 38:07
  I've had I guess mixed feelings with the shift of kind of into this role a as mom, because I have felt like I've lost bits and pieces of myself and I feel like I've worked really hard over the last year especially to come to terms with all of this together.
• 38:24
  I think you're still trying to explore what all this means, what all this means to you.
• 38:29
  Marissa said, when you have a really strong sense of self it doesn't mean anything to you.
• 38:34
  And when you are discovering that sense of self, you're trying to distinguish which pieces you are willing to let go.
• 38:42
  Which pieces have fall like fallen off without your permission and which pieces you're willingly, wanting to replace it with.
• 38:49
  For sure.
• 38:50
  I don't know, I'm thinking of like a piece of paper that's been like cut up into a million pieces and you're like trying to put it back together, trying to put it back together again.
• 38:57
  And you're like, no, I just need a new piece of paper.
• 38:59
  How I feel.
• 39:01
  But yeah, that's, it's just a very interesting, I guess start of a discussion.
• 39:07
  Yeah.
• 39:07
  Or start of my internal discussion.
• 39:09
  And so I really liked that point, like that part of the podcast just really, even though you had said it, we weren't necessarily talking about it in that capacity.
• 39:18
  It just got me thinking of those words, like identity versus role because it's been something that we've been exploring.
• 39:24
  It was a huge part of why we both felt the need to start this conversation publicly.
• 39:30
  Yeah.
• 39:30
  And I'm sure a lot of women can relate to that and also you can think about like when you, if you're a working mom or not working mom, like that can be an identity in a role.
• 39:42
  Sometimes I think women, when you're looking to build a connection with somebody, you almost wanna put them in a box.
• 39:48
  Oh, this is a stay at home mom.
• 39:49
  This is a working mom.
• 39:50
  This is a mom that has multiple kids.
• 39:52
  This is a mom that lives in my town.
• 39:54
  This is the mom that is the room mom.
• 39:56
  This is the this is the that.
• 39:57
  I think as we've been having all of these really wonderful and very impactful conversations, I think what I have started to tie together especially when it comes to friendships and relationship building, is that you can use these roles to meet certain people.
• 40:15
  And we've talked about like meeting people doing things that are bigger than you.
• 40:19
  So maybe volunteering or doing or meeting people at a workout class or meeting other moms at school.
• 40:26
  And that's wonderful because that kind of helps with that initial connection.
• 40:30
  But then from that, you need to strip down the role and start to build on the identity of the person, and that's how you really form these wonderful connections and really true friendships.
• 40:45
  It's step by step in getting to build these relationships.
• 40:48
  Yeah.
• 40:48
  It's not as simple as it sounds, but I think that's the roadmap to get a beautiful friend circle around you.
• 40:57
  Yeah.
• 40:58
  If you're looking to expand your friend circle as Leo Enters school Yeah.
• 41:02
  And you are gonna be around all these new people.
• 41:04
  Yeah.
• 41:04
  You can use that knowledge.
• 41:06
  If you want to build Right.
• 41:08
  Friendships with some of these new Yeah.
• 41:10
  Women that are gonna be in your life.
• 41:12
  I know.
• 41:12
  It's exciting, it's exciting for you.
• 41:14
  Yes, it is.
• 41:14
  It's very exciting.
• 41:15
  And I'm sure like you're even still, it's, your kids are going to new schools, they're merging so it's like you, we've, you've been in a bubble for the part of town you've been in.
• 41:24
  I know your kids are very active, so you met people all throughout the area, but you're gonna be in the same position where your kids are gonna be meeting new people because I.
• 41:33
  The schools kind of blend.
• 41:34
  And so there's, it's, you're not just in one part of town anymore.
• 41:37
  Now it's like the whole town.
• 41:39
  And so I feel like that could be true.
• 41:40
  Again, as your kids grow and as they do new activities, as they move through the school system and transition to different things within school and within their lives it's never ending.
• 41:53
  It is never ending.
• 41:54
  Yeah.
• 41:55
  It's never ending.
• 41:56
  So we all, I feel like we could all take that advice, even if you're a seasoned mom or even if your kids have been in school for a while.
• 42:03
  It's just something that we can all do, right?
• 42:06
  Yeah.
• 42:07
  You can always take bits and pieces from everybody.
• 42:09
  And I think that what Marissa said in the last episode was something that really was a good one to take with you and just to have on your radar.
• 42:18
  And I think you summed it up so beautifully.
• 42:20
  Yeah.
• 42:20
  Thank you.
• 42:21
  But as we move into fall Oh yeah.
• 42:24
  Do you have anything?
• 42:25
  It's up for fall.
• 42:25
  Would you have anything going on?
• 42:27
  I know you have a huge event coming up, which is exciting.
• 42:30
  Oh yeah.
• 42:30
  So we have our third annual race for OH Strides.
• 42:34
  It's October 4th.
• 42:36
  If anybody is local and you want to attend you can get tickets to come on oh eight strides.org, but it's at Simsbury Meadows right over here.
• 42:44
  It starts at 9:00 AM We have exciting, we have the whole soccer field, we set up badminton.
• 42:48
  There's a bounce house, there's a dj, there's somebody doing face painting and balloon animals and pen of tattoos.
• 42:55
  And we do the kids color run.
• 42:58
  It's gonna be so fun.
• 42:59
  So the kids get squirted with the color bombs.
• 43:01
  We have a dunk tank again this year for our doctors.
• 43:05
  There's a pizza truck, an ice cream truck.
• 43:06
  There's just lots of fun activities to promote movement.
• 43:10
  Yep.
• 43:10
  So if you have little kids and you want to tire them out before they're nap come, I love that.
• 43:15
  That's so exciting.
• 43:16
  And can you just in case anybody doesn't remember your connection yeah, because that was a while ago when we did your intro.
• 43:22
  So my husband works for Orthopedic Associates at Hartford OH.
• 43:26
  And a few years ago, a couple friends and I all, a part of the group decided to start a nonprofit for the group.
• 43:34
  We call it OH Strides.
• 43:36
  And we promote movement because it has such a profound impact on your body, not only your like physical body, but your mental, your emotional state.
• 43:45
  So this year, actually, our beneficiaries were the elderly population and we donated money to these various exercise programs to help promote movement with the emphasis on balance.
• 43:58
  Because in the elderly population, one thing that causes like the highest mortality rate is falling.
• 44:03
  And the best way is to promote balance.
• 44:05
  So we gave to those organizations.
• 44:08
  Every year we, we always promote movement.
• 44:10
  But every year it's like a little different.
• 44:12
  It's a little different.
• 44:13
  You're like, yeah.
• 44:14
  Emphasis on something a little different.
• 44:15
  Yeah.
• 44:15
  Yeah.
• 44:15
  Our bid for 2026 lts here is veterans.
• 44:19
  Oh, that's amazing.
• 44:20
  Which is great.
• 44:20
  Yep.
• 44:21
  Anyways, we, we did like adaptive initiatives one year we did youth sports another year.
• 44:26
  So it's been.
• 44:28
  Wonderful.
• 44:28
  I'm so proud of you and this event, it's wonderful.
• 44:31
  Is gonna be amazing.
• 44:31
  We're obviously gonna be there with the kids.
• 44:33
  It's be really exciting.
• 44:34
  I need supporters.
• 44:34
  Yep, of course.
• 44:34
  It's great.
• 44:35
  But I just wanted to just take a minute and share that here with our listeners that if anybody's local and wants to come see join us.
• 44:41
  Yeah, it's a fun morning.
• 44:42
  Yeah, that's gonna be really exciting.
• 44:43
  It's a fun morning.
• 44:44
  It doesn't take up the whole day.
• 44:45
  You don't have to even run.
• 44:47
  You can walk or you can just come and hang out in the big area.
• 44:50
  There's like the stage there.
• 44:51
  That's so exciting.
• 44:52
  Cool.
• 44:53
  Thank you for sharing, sharing that.
• 44:54
  Yeah, we've been working really hard on that.
• 44:54
  I know.
• 44:54
  We're like in the last like month push.
• 44:56
  I know.
• 44:57
  And I can't believe it's been a year since the last one like that just flew by.
• 45:00
  I know.
• 45:01
  But you guys have been so hard at work, so that's amazing.
• 45:03
  It's just like crazy going faster than ever.
• 45:07
  Going faster and faster.
• 45:08
  Wow.
• 45:08
  I wish I knew how to slow time.
• 45:10
  I know.
• 45:10
  Seriously.
• 45:12
  So we'll close pink spotlight.
• 45:14
  Yeah.
• 45:14
  We'll close with our pink spotlight.
• 45:17
  What do you have for us?
• 45:17
  Okay.
• 45:18
  Mine you inspired me by asking me what my school drop off outfit is gonna be.
• 45:22
  Oh.
• 45:23
  I don't know if this is gonna be, it will depend on the weather, but A brand on Amazon that I found is called, I think it's called Pin Spark.
• 45:30
  There's always like these random Amazon brands that, you know have like stores.
• 45:34
  And Pin Spark is something that I found just fits me really well.
• 45:38
  I feel like their sizing is pretty consistent.
• 45:40
  So when I've ordered things, like everything fits true to size, but it's a lot of athleisure wear.
• 45:47
  And I have been so into these running shorts.
• 45:50
  They have a nice band on top.
• 45:52
  It's cinched.
• 45:53
  And then there's bike shorts underneath with a layer over them that are like running shorts.
• 45:58
  They're it's like double layered.
• 46:00
  I love bike shorts, but I don't feel like I like.
• 46:03
  Running around like town in bike shorts all the time.
• 46:06
  But then I also don't like shorts where I feel like if I'm like squatting and doing things with the kids, like I feel like this is a perfect mom short it's bike shorts with a layer over them.
• 46:17
  Okay.
• 46:17
  So I feel like you're just like covered.
• 46:20
  You're comfortable.
• 46:21
  They're not too short.
• 46:23
  Like it's just they're so in the eighties when our moms wore bike shorts, I love a bike.
• 46:27
  Short, big oversized shirt.
• 46:27
  I love t-shirts.
• 46:28
  Don't get me wrong.
• 46:29
  I love a bike short.
• 46:30
  Not you're wearing a bike.
• 46:30
  Shirt.
• 46:30
  Shirt.
• 46:30
  I love feel like shirt the short over for sure.
• 46:33
  Unless I'm working out, I don't like.
• 46:36
  I don't like fitted.
• 46:37
  Fitted, like meaning like top and bottom fitted.
• 46:40
  I need either an oversized something, but when it's been hot out, I don't wanna wear like something huge on top with bike shorts.
• 46:46
  So I've liked doing the opposite where it's like something cropped or something fitted on top, and then you have the looseness of the shorts.
• 46:54
  But what I was finding was when they weren't lined, I just felt like I just wasn't, it's just, yeah, you can't bend over.
• 47:00
  You're hanging out out.
• 47:01
  Yeah, you're hanging out.
• 47:02
  So I liked these shorts.
• 47:03
  I felt like they gave me like the best of both worlds where I felt together, but loose at the same time.
• 47:10
  Okay.
• 47:10
  And so I found this brand and when I find something that I like, I don't reinvent the wheel.
• 47:16
  So I was like, I ordered one color, 10 colors.
• 47:19
  And now I'm like, okay.
• 47:20
  I ended up, I think I have four colors now, and I'm like, what am I gonna do for the fall?
• 47:24
  But at least for like September, I'm like, this is so great.
• 47:28
  And so they, you can put a jean jacket over it in the morning.
• 47:30
  Yes.
• 47:30
  And they have a lot of different like tops that you can mix and match with things.
• 47:34
  And then I was like going down a rabbit hole and I was like, there's just a lot of great pieces on this store in general.
• 47:40
  And for the most part, all of the colors match.
• 47:43
  So you could go and find a top and then you could find the shorts and they're the same colors, so everything just looks very Lululemon for less, true.
• 47:50
  Or there's, or like one of the brands that does like the color launches all the time and everything is like mix and matched with the style.
• 47:57
  So I've been very pleasantly surprised with those pieces that I've gotten.
• 48:02
  So I will definitely make sure to link them.
• 48:04
  And that's definitely gonna be like my gymnastics school drop off.
• 48:07
  So if you see me there, that's.
• 48:09
  Perfect.
• 48:10
  That's what I'm gonna be wearing.
• 48:11
  So you have your first day of school outfit picked out?
• 48:12
  I do.
• 48:13
  I do.
• 48:13
  Perfect.
• 48:14
  Yep.
• 48:14
  Perfect.
• 48:14
  I do, I You should get a little matching one for Layla.
• 48:16
  They're, I wonder if they have anything that similar.
• 48:17
  I know that they don't have minis.
• 48:18
  Of course.
• 48:19
  That was like one of my first things that I looked for.
• 48:21
  Maybe.
• 48:21
  The all in motion from Target.
• 48:23
  Yes.
• 48:23
  Might have something similar.
• 48:25
  Similar.
• 48:25
  They might have similar.
• 48:26
  Which is cute.
• 48:26
  I know.
• 48:27
  That's great.
• 48:28
  But I love, yeah.
• 48:28
  The price point is so great.
• 48:30
  So I just, I love perfect, finding a good price point on things.
• 48:33
  I love that.
• 48:33
  My pink spotlight is an Amazon fine too.
• 48:34
  Okay.
• 48:35
  So I'm gonna do my show.
• 48:37
  I love it.
• 48:37
  So I think I should change Pink spotlight to Gina Spotlight.
• 48:41
  Yeah.
• 48:41
  'cause the shoes from a few weeks ago, actually I have them on today, Navy to match my outfit.
• 48:46
  You have another.
• 48:47
  Aren't so cute.
• 48:47
  Amazon fine.
• 48:47
  Aren't so cute.
• 48:48
  I cannot believe.
• 48:49
  Anyways, but I have another Amazon fine.
• 48:50
  And it's this bag.
• 48:52
  I love it.
• 48:52
  I have it in every color.
• 48:53
  Oh my God.
• 48:54
  It's cute.
• 48:54
  Similar to you when I find something from Amazon to buy it in every color.
• 48:56
  And actually the trip we just went on, some of my friends went on the trip as well.
• 49:00
  And I got one for all the girls.
• 49:01
  So Nice and nice.
• 49:02
  Like their little gift bags.
• 49:03
  Yeah.
• 49:03
  So cute.
• 49:03
  And they were like, where are these from?
• 49:05
  I'm like, Amazon.
• 49:06
  They were 1999.
• 49:07
  Unbelievable.
• 49:08
  So this is like the cream color.
• 49:09
  It is like a designer look for less.
• 49:11
  It's how pretty This is beautiful.
• 49:13
  That's a great color too.
• 49:14
  But it's not a knockoff.
• 49:15
  There's a zipper inside.
• 49:17
  Nope.
• 49:17
  There's all these little pockets.
• 49:18
  It fits.
• 49:19
  Look at all this stuff I have in here.
• 49:20
  Yeah.
• 49:20
  It just looks like it would be very expensive.
• 49:22
  But it's not knocking anything off.
• 49:24
  It's not like it looks like a specific bag.
• 49:27
  It looks, it does.
• 49:27
  It's beautiful.
• 49:27
  It looks$20 and I'm obsessed.
• 49:29
  I love it.
• 49:29
  So I have, there's like a.
• 49:31
  A like a straw color with brown.
• 49:34
  Oh, I saw that one piping that I have.
• 49:36
  Yep.
• 49:36
  And then I just got the black.
• 49:37
  Oh, I love it.
• 49:38
  So does the black have a gold hardware on it?
• 49:40
  Everything has gold hardware.
• 49:42
  Oh my God.
• 49:42
  That's gonna be beautiful.
• 49:42
  Everything has gold hardware, so nice.
• 49:44
  Beautiful.
• 49:45
  So I love it.
• 49:45
  This is my pink spotlight, I love a high low and you have been on it with the fines this summer from Amazon?
• 49:51
  Yeah.
• 49:51
  My sister found these.
• 49:52
  Okay.
• 49:53
  So thanks G.
• 49:53
  Another Thanks G.
• 49:54
  Once again, another G spotlight.
• 49:58
  You can hopefully get some goodbyes for the fall from us.
• 50:00
  I know.
• 50:01
  I'm going to the US open tomorrow.
• 50:02
  That's, we're taking Joseph because Joseph, oh my God.
• 50:05
  Loves tennis.
• 50:06
  Yep.
• 50:07
  He loves tennis.
• 50:08
  What are you wearing?
• 50:08
  I don't know.
• 50:09
  I don't know.
• 50:10
  I'm wearing this bag.
• 50:10
  Yeah, that's adorable.
• 50:11
  I have a polo sweater I might wear over my shoulder.
• 50:15
  'cause polo's like a spot.
• 50:16
  Huge sponsor.
• 50:17
  Yeah.
• 50:17
  So it might go like that preppy vibe.
• 50:19
  Preppy.
• 50:19
  I was gonna say, I feel like that is so in right now with the rugby shirts and everything is so preppy.
• 50:24
  Like prep.
• 50:24
  Yeah.
• 50:25
  I actually, I just ordered Joseph a bunch of stuff from Polo too.
• 50:27
  It just came in while we were away.
• 50:29
  So I think we're gonna go preppy vibe, preppy.
• 50:31
  Love it.
• 50:32
  That will preppy vibe.
• 50:33
  That would be perfect.
• 50:34
  I know, but I'm really, look, I've never been before.
• 50:35
  Have you?
• 50:36
  It's so fun.
• 50:36
  Yes.
• 50:37
  I've been, it's probably been like eight or nine years since I've been, but it is so fun.
• 50:41
  Yeah.
• 50:41
  I'm really looking forward to it.
• 50:43
  Yeah, we're going for the day.
• 50:44
  We're taking him out of school.
• 50:46
  I know.
• 50:46
  We're bad parents.
• 50:47
  We're letting you miss No, it's, no, it's all about week of for sure.
• 50:50
  He's so into it.
• 50:52
  He's so into tennis.
• 50:53
  He's so into tennis, and he just started squash.
• 50:55
  Oh my, wow.
• 50:56
  So he like likes racket sports.
• 50:58
  Yeah, he does.
• 50:59
  And he's very good at it.
• 51:00
  Great.
• 51:00
  Thank you.
• 51:01
  Oh, enjoy your day.
• 51:01
  That's gonna be so fun.
• 51:02
  Yeah.
• 51:02
  We're excited.
• 51:04
  So that's all I got for you.
• 51:05
  All right.
• 51:06
  And don't forget, if you leave us a review on Apple, you can DM us your address and tea will send you that beautiful pink yes and gold flamingo bracelet.
• 51:16
  I have another batch going out.
• 51:18
  Great.
• 51:18
  Okay.
• 51:18
  Today actually.
• 51:19
  Cool.
• 51:19
  So if you haven't gotten your bracelet, it will be coming soon and we will see you guys later.
• 51:24
  Yeah.
• 51:24
  Have a good week.
• 51:25
  See you next week.
• 51:25
  Bye mama.
• 51:26
  Bye.