Latest / Dear Chelsea / Having a Felch with Toni Collette

Transcript

Having a Felch with Toni Collette · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Height and Mighty Tour. I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modeesto, California, and
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June, So go
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: get your tickets now if you want to come see
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: me perform. I will be on The High and Mighty
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: Tour every Christmas, Catherine, It's Christmas Day.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Merry Christmas, Chelsea.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: So exciting.
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: Jesus was born today or he died today.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: He was born, so they say, I'm.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: So excited about Christmas. Guys, I am such a holiday person.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: I have a lot of gifts under my tree though,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: because I have poopsies and woopsies and ooopsies coming my way,
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: so I've got to gift them all with their boyfriends.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Now they both have boyfriends, and the boyfriends have sleepovers.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: So my house is turned into basically, I don't know,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I guess a sex house.
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: I mean, right, is it like it's obviously not separate bedrooms?
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: Is it leave the door correct?
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: No, I'm not, you know what. I just let everybody
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: do their thing. Everybody just I don't you know what.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: I'm not the parent.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: I don't make the rules. There are big girls whatever.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: When at Chelsea's house, Yeah, yeah, come on over, have
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: a good time. By the way, I have like eight
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: people staying at my house for like three nights.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
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  Speaker 4: I don't have enough rooms, so people are going to
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: be sleeping with strangers.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I gotta tell you. Instead of an air mattress.
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: I don't know if you have these, but Coleman makes
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: cots that are actually very comfortable to sleep on.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: I will send you a link.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Well, I mean I have the space, it's just that
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: people are gonna have to sleep in bunk beds that
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: don't know each other and like I don't have as Yeah,
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: it's I always have bunk beds, always in every house,
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: smart in all of my homes. So who's our guest today? Oh, yes,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: we have another. One of my favorite actors is on today.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: She's an actor and a singer and a songwriter. She
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: has two new projects that you could catch her in,
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: the show Wayward with May Martin and her new movie
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: Goodbye June Wherein. They're both on Netflix. So please welcome
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Tony Collette. And here we are with Tony Colette. Oh
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: my god, one of my favorite people actresses. I love you,
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: and I hope you know how passionately I feel about
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: your I mean, listen, I'm not alone, so I can't
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: claim that I discovered you or I have some special
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: way to see you, because everybody loves you since we
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: first found out about you. I think, Oh my god,
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: I know, I know. It's such a great introduction.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: I guess I talk.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: I can't sup poetically about you. And my introduction to
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: you was Muriel's Wedding, which of course is you know.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: I mean I still quote that movie as along with
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: millions of other people. But in the past few years,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: you have been churning shit out, sister.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: You have been working your ass off. I've been lucky. Yeah,
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: yeah you are.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's nice to be working and it's nice to
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: be appreciated for the actor that you are.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: Wow, that is an incredible introduction. Thank you so much,
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: far out. You're welcome. You're welcome, and you deserve it. Well.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: I am a fan of yours also, as you know,
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: for those who don't know, we do DM each other
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: on Instagram. We have a kind of a funny little
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: friendship going on, and I'm so I actually thought we
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: were going to be together that of course you're in
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: Whistler because I've read your book and that's where you
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: like to be. But yeah, right back at you. I
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: really really align with much of what you espouse.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: Yes, we're both very political too.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: We both are very much about posting and making sure
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: people know how we feel. So I of course respect
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: anyone who stands up for s so and I know
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: you do. And you've actually turned me on to a
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: couple of different Instagram accounts that I started following when
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I saw your post about them.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: So thank you for that.
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: Yes, and most recently you stood up for Paul Danoh
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: during this whole like weird.
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, what was that?
• 4:16
  Speaker 6: Was this?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Quitta Tarantino needs to shut the fuck up. What isn't
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: he already in trouble from a couple of years ago?
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: Like why is he feeling free about going after.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: He's pretty weird? And also, Paul is incredibly talented and
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: the most beautiful person. Who does that? Where does it
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: come from? It's pretty confusing. Actually, what did you say
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: about Paul Dano?
• 4:36
  Speaker 7: Oh?
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: I just I just posted an image from that scene
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: that I have with him in Little Miss Sunshine, which
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: by the way, is twenty years old. There's an anniversary
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: screening at Sundance next month. Oh, that's so cool. That
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: was a gret is a great movie, and he's wonderful
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: in it, And there's that moment where his character is
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: so passionate about becoming a pilot and then when he
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: realizes he can't realize that dream, he freaks out on
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: our road trip, pops out of the car, runs down
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: into a bit of a valiant, has a breakdown, and
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: I go down to try to communicate with him, and
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: it's completely heartbreaking, and he's wonderful. And all I did
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: was post that image from the scene, A pop, a
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: little crown on his head. Let's see it now.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: He's an incredible actor. He's wonderful.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: What was that movie that he did with Patricia? That
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: series he did with Patricia.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: Escape from Dana Mora.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: Oh God, should I be watching that? Yes? Oh my god. Yes,
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: you need to see Paul Dano in that movie.
• 5:27
  Speaker 5: Okay, it's about he's an escape and there's like a
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: torrid like love affair, Like it's.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: All spucked up. It's so good.
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: It's kind of reminds me of The Staircase, Tony.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Oh, actually it's as bucked up as the Staircase.
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, I know what your favorite scene is in the Staircase.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: You're referring to that.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: I think that's how we first connected. Yeah, because I
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: posted a scene. What do you want to describe the scene?
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: Why don't you just say I would love you too. Actually,
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: let's take on it. This is a great scene in
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: The Staircase, you guys, which is based on a true story, right,
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: where Tony plays the wife and what's the actor's name
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: that plays your husband, Colin Firth? Colin Firth, Right, Colin
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Firth is like accused of murdering his.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: Or you know, it's it's up in the air. People
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: don't know what happened.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: You know, it could have been him, or it could
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: have been an attack by fucking birds.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: So there's a scene in this movie. The retellvisible the
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: al attack for quite some time until I realized that
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: that talon mark changes when they actually grab onto what
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: they're aiming for. So it didn't quite match up with
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: that with that mark on the back of her head.
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah right, So wasn't a bunch of birds. It was
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: an owl.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: She either she got attacked by an owl that led
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: to her death or her husband pushed her down the stairs.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: So you decide just by listening to this podcast for
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: what happened.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: But there's a scene in this movie where, first of all,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: it's incredible.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: I mean it's a series, not a great series, incredible
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: series by Antonio.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: There's a scene where Tony's in the kitchen, her characters
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: in the kitchen.
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  Speaker 3: But so it's just cooking, just cooking it up and
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: being like, my husband has a gate tennes and he
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: wanders in and decides to just you know, whip my
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: pants down and have a good old felch. Yeah, that felch.
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: That's a new one for me. Yeah, it's a new
• 7:12
  Speaker 4: one for all of us.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: I mean, I was so petrified about doing that, and
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: Paul Kate, my costumer, had to come in and like
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: pack the crack of my ass with like all kinds
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: of protective stuff so Colin didn't have to.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: You know, actually eat ass, right, you know what? You
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: know what's so funny, It's like there, I don't know
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: of any other ass eating scene in any series that
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I've ever seen, so I could because Patrick Schwarzenegger, another
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: person who's in this in this series, he and I
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: because he died when I posted that, because we're friends
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: and friends with their family, and he was just like,
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: oh my god, I go, it's just so out of
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: the blue, all of a sudden, there's an ass eating
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: scene in the middle of this, this drama about murder,
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: and you're it's very unexpected and shocking.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: It was revealing about his character and what he was into,
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: and that, you know what the yes relationship and.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: What your character was willing to accept in your relationship
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: as well.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: We're welcome, I should say, yeah, I think she was
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: into it.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, I didn't know that that was called felching.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I know, about boofing, but I didn't know about felching,
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: So now I know is it an as? Is that
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: an ausy slang or is that vernacular?
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: I think it's vernacular. But what's boofing? That's I would
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: for the same thing. Boofing is when you stick something
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: up somebody's butt and it's.
• 8:31
  Speaker 5: Just like like like alcohol or drugs, right usually.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it's like a popper or alcohol or drugs.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: You can just like use your butt and it's called
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: a boof I only know this because I was at
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: a conference in Antarctica recently where I was on stage
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: talking about my love of psychedelics, and someone said, how
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: do you feel about boofing?
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: You didn't know what it was like what I actually
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: had heard about it Antarctica. Had you been there before?
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: I really know?
• 8:58
  Speaker 6: No?
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: Was it absolutely? Yeah? It was make you hot, just.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Like it made me want to stay there until this
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: administration is over. I was like, you know what they
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: said at this point? Yeah, they said, you're coming at
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: the best time. It's too it's light out for two months,
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: this is our summer. But it was majestic, tony, like
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: the icebergs when you when you're sailing like you're you're
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: on this vessel. Obviously you're going to through Antarctica from USHUEA.
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: We took this boat and you're going and they see
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: the first patch of icebergs in the distance. It's like
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: a scene out of Titanic where they see the iceberg,
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: but it's so massive.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: It's like a land mass. You know. They're not like
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: just little icebergs.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: There are those as well, but the first one that
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: you see when you pass like sixty latitude, Yeah, you're
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: just like and you're watching it for like a day
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: because you keep getting closer and closer and closer.
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: So it was pretty spectacular. How did you get invited there?
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: How does one get invited there? You have to be
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: a psychoedelic Another one of those, you know, silly little
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: situations that I said to Bloody, wonderful, good for you.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, so let's talk about a couple of things Tony.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: For I didn't know that you were the first person
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: on the BBC to have an orgasm.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: What oh in wonder last I didn't know that either,
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: but they made a very big deal of that. Well
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: because it was the first one on was it first
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: female or like left and right I'm sure a man
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: very proud of that. Wow, yeah, I forgot about that. Well,
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: how is any credit story? How can you be proud
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: of it if I just told you about it and
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: you didn't even know you were the first? Oh, I
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: just forgot about it. I didn't know about it. I
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: didn't I don't think of it every day. But yeah,
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: that show. Nick Payne's writing is incredible. He's kind of
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: a bit of a prolific playwright and dabbles in TV
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: and film, and he can write anything. Really. I just love.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: What I love about his writing is that all the
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: space in between the words is so jam packed with
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: all kinds of information for you to mine. He's a beautiful,
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: beautiful writer. And that show was in incredibly liberating for
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: that character, potentially just for women in general. She was
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: a woman who was discontented in her marriage and wanted
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: to explore things sexually outside of the marriage, and they
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: decide to open up their relationship and everything that goes
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: with it. It was really complex and beautiful. I loved it.
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: I really hoped we'd do another season, but it didn't
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: didn't quite fly. Maybe the female orgasm freak to the
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: audience out who knows. They probably weren't ready for that.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: It takes about a thousand years after a male orgasm
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: for anyone to accept a female orgasm.
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they exist. Sorry not sorry.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: So you grew up in Australia, right, Yeah, in Sydney,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: my favorite place.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: That's my favorite harbor in the world because there is
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: very useful. Yeah, it's very pretty. Yeah, my kids and
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: we all got our voting licenses recently. It was wow,
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: brilliant cool and it felt so like freeing and adventurous.
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I do things and I'm doing it for a role,
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: and this was just like we want to do it,
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: and it was just the coolest. Yeah, can scoot around
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: the harbor now, Oh my god? How fun? And so
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: is your daughter leaving for school soon? She's she's actually
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: got the rest of you twelve to go, so yeah,
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: jish Yeah to that, she's might not. I'm kind of
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: She's incredibly creative and I'm I am supportive of anything
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: my kids want to do, and so I don't know
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: whether that's the trajectory she'll follow or aim for. You know,
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: all roads lead to Rome. At this point, it doesn't
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: seem to be for you have to be that, Yeah, Yeah,
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: I know what you're gonna say.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: For you, I really do. Yeah, you love Rome, You're
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: always in Rome?
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Well I worked there. I did a film called
• 12:39
  Speaker 3: Mafia Mama, which kind of was miss released. It was
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: kind of a bummer because the film's bloody brilliant. It's
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: so funny and we had a ball making it. And
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'd always been to Italy. I think I
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: was actually talking to someone last night. The first time
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: I went there was on the Shaft press tour. It
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: was one of those big junk like press dos where
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: you go to all the countries and everything's late on
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: that just doesn't happen anymore. And then I married a
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: guy whose family was Italian, so we would be, you know,
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: in and out all over Italy. But then I got
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: to leave and work in Rome in twenty twenty two,
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: and absolutely I was like, this is my place, this
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: is where my greatest joy lives, and I just try
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: to get there as often as I can. I absolutely
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: love it. I've got a life there and friends and
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: oh isn't that so nice? Yeah? It really it very
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: much is. I'm so grateful for it.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: I can totally relate. That's how I feel about Whistler
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: and like me a America. I mean, I don't really
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: have a lot of friends in my Erica, which I
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: kind of like, I'm like, this is nice. And me
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: and myself with my thoughts, which I need more time with.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: So you have two projects that we're talking about, because
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: one is A Way Word, which is a show that
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: just came out made my stars in also Mamue created.
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: They are a great comedian.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: They do a podcast, Handsome Pod with two friends of mine,
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: Tigg and Fortune.
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: Tell us about how you got involved in that project.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: It was out of the blue. I just was told
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: about this script. It was sent to me. I read
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: and I was kind of blown away in a way.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: Maybe it was under sold to me, but I was like,
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: this is actually really amazing, and so I was intrigued.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: I didn't know where it was going, and it really
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: goes to places that you can't really assume at the beginning.
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: So I remember having a zoom with both May and
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: the other showrunner, Ryan, and I was just struck by
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: May's which is hilarious now that I know them, because
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: they just seemed so calm and clear and articulate, and
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: it's not like that at all.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: Were they nervous to talk to you.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: Apparently, Yes, yeah, when we're thick as these now, so
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: you know, it's cool. And actually there was another job
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: that came up at the same time, which was somewhat coveted,
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: and it became a bit of a dilemma. They were
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: both on Netflix, and I was like, oh, maybe we
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: can like work it out schedule wise, and that really
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: wasn't going to work, which I still don't understand. But
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: I ended up doing Wayward and there's me like, Okay,
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: this is happening for a reason, show me what this is.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: And it ended up being the most profound experience, really
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: really fun and really meaningful, Like it just was a
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: good time. A good time was had by all, like
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: a you know, a proper connected time with both the
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: cast and the crew and that cast of like you know,
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: multi generational cast, and just it was so brave. I
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: think May is this incredible unicorn who's creative in all
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: kinds of very impressive and admirable ways. And I'm really, really,
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: really so happy that I did it, and that I
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: know all of the people that I got to work with,
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: including May and Sarah Gadden. We're like the three Musketeers.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: Why do you think it was such a profound experience
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: because it dealt with a lot of really deep shit,
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: you know that isn't often addressed and done in a
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: way that kind of only May can do. May I mean,
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: I call them a unicorn. There's a singular kind of
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: very fascinating person there, and the show is highly original,
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: which is very unusual in twenty twenty five.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm curious to know how you say yes to projects,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: Like how do you discern which projects you're going to do?
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: Because I am assuming you get lots and lots of
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: offers and people want to work with you a lot.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: So how do you.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: Decide is it based on that material only or do
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: you factor in the other things like where it's shooting,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: who's it for.
• 16:25
  Speaker 3: It's a combo, I have to say, But it has
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: to start with a material. It has to start with
• 16:30
  Speaker 3: kind of forgetting that you're reading a script, that you
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: get drawn into the story, and that it matters to
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: you beyond your own kind of career or what you
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: might be able to imbue it with. You know, it's
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: just about actually finding it fascinating and that there's some
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: meaning that I vibe with really, it's kind of that simple.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: And then when everybody else starts to become impressive or not,
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: things can be clarified, but it's generally the script generally, Yeah,
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: right right, I.
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: Mean you've played every I mean that you're playing a
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: cult leader basically.
• 17:00
  Speaker 7: Yeah.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: Fun, it's so much fun, which is fun.
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: And I was trying to think of, like, is there
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: a role that you haven't played yet that you are
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: dying to play, because you've really run the gamut. You've
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: had been in normal, healthy family looking vibes and then
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: very abnormal family vibesary I don't have.
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: Let me get get a snack for him, get a biscuit.
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: Well, while she's doing that, I wanted to ask your
• 17:26
  Speaker 5: character and wayward there. I mean, I'm curious where you
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: channeled this performance from because your responses to people, I'm thinking,
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: if I'm another person in that conversation, whether it's like
• 17:39
  Speaker 5: a pause that's just too long, or the way you respond,
• 17:41
  Speaker 5: I'm like, I would be so uncomfortable, and I'm wondering
• 17:44
  Speaker 5: how you channeled that.
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: At first, I really didn't quite know how to place her.
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: She's a woman of extremes, and the scripts were great
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: in that it wasn't clear where to play certain things
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: like how big or how dark or how funny. There
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: were many options, like many choices to be made, which
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: is an absolute gift. So at first I kind of
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: was really embarrassing and if anyone ever sees it, but
• 18:10
  Speaker 3: I did a take which was like way too over
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: the top because I was just trying to figure out
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: where she sat in the scheme of things, and it
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: felt a little bit like, I don't know, like a
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: Marvel character, like an actual baddie, you know.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: Sure.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: And then we're working with a brilliant director Aeroslyn, who
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: actually worked with on this film called Dreamhorse, this tiny
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: little Welsh film which is like the most moving, beautiful story,
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: and so he was directing it and just very quickly
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: kind of pulled me into the right area. It became
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: more and more delicious, just being able to play with
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: where she's fucking with people and how she enjoys unnerving
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: them and pushing them. But I mean, essentially it's about trauma,
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: and I'm a great believer of you don't deal with
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: this stuff, then you're kind of flying blind and it
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: is kind of a life that's wasted. I mean, you know,
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: we all have our own capabilities, but this woman was
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: forcing young kids into areas which were I mean, it's
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: very much considered malpractice. It was just like there was
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: no basis in anything good. It was just lots of
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: really great ideas but executed very very incorrectly and somewhat dangerously.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: And I think the people involved were just lovely, you know.
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: And those Canadians, man, they're good, decent people. I know
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: they're still there aalzed. They're so civilized. My shoulders drop
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: when I get to Canada, and I know, yeah, it's
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: just so unwilling to help.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Everyone wants to help everybody when you do a scene
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: like that when you said, like, you know, your first
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: take was over the top and or whatever you were
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: trying to.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Place mortified by me? Now okay, sorry, sorry I turned up.
• 19:48
  Speaker 3: Let me go. Yeah, it feels like that.
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: Who is the person that identifies that?
• 19:51
  Speaker 6: Is it you? No?
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: Well? I ask, I'm like, have I fucked it? Am?
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: I am? I? Way too? Have I? What am I doing?
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: Where am I pitching it? Somebody tell me something because
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: I am lost. I'm very very collaborative, very open, very
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: happy to take you know, anything that will help from
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: anybody right.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: Okay, So you also have a movie that I just watched.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: It's called Goodbye June. You watched it, Yeah, of course,
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: of course, I do my homework. And it's a phenomenal
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: fucking cast of women. It's Keith Winslett, who is one
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: of my all time favorites as well, who also directs it.
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: Yeah, she directs it.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: I mean this is her directorial debut, right is yep,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: very much, so very exciting.
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: She's in it.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: Andrea Riseborough, who's fucking awesome, is in it, and Helen
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: Mirren is in it.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: Dame Helen Mirren, I said, Andrews a firecracker. She's got
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: some of the best lines in the movies, like if
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: you don't stop clicking that fucking pen, I'm going to
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: punch that cock off your body. Like she's so angry. Oh,
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: but there's so much hurt underneath it, which is the
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: great thing about the writing all the characters. It's so
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: funny because you know, you grow up under the same
• 20:56
  Speaker 3: roof and you have the same experiences, and then you
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: just turn out so so differently to each other. Siblings
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: are just so diverse and have these similar experiences, but
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: just like they're so different, so I play the kind
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: of woo woo. I guess I felt like potentially I
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: was roped into being a third parent because I was
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: the eldest child. Everything felt too en mesh. So I
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: just move away, and I'm this journeying woman on a
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: kind of you know, an experience of searching out, seeking
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: things and trying to become one with the cosmos. Constantly
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: wears crystals in her bra and has an alternative lifestyle
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: and is into that kind of thing, which I love
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: because I just appreciate people who have the guts to
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: just basically be themselves and live an authentic life. It
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: makes my stomach feel relaxed, because when you have a
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: guessing game with people, it's two anxiety inducing. So I
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: absolutely love my character so colorful. I hated taking her
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: costume off at the end. I didn't want to let go,
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: and I just didn't want to let go of it
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: because it was an amazing experience. So Andrew's character is
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: really really fucking angry at Kate Winslet's character. They were
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: really tight Kate. All she did as Julia was grow
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: up and leave home, and Andrea felt abandoned and has
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: been carrying around all kinds of resentment ever since. And
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: then Johnny Flynn, the wonderful Johnny Flynn, who plays our
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: younger brother, the baby in the family, Connor still lives
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: at home, kind of can't get his shit together, you know,
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: low self esteem, not much confidence, a bit like, you know,
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: just can't get going in life. And then Helen Miren
• 22:21
  Speaker 3: plays the matriarch of the family, our beautiful mother who
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: is nearing her death, and we all come together to
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: help her move into this next state of existence, the
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: ultimate change, the big transition. Our dad is played by
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: the wonderful Timothy's Ball and man, it was just the best.
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: Kate is an incredible director. I don't I didn't ever
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: doubt it. First of all, let me say I had
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: always wanted to work with her. You do interviews and
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: always get asked who's the top of your bucketst who
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: would you want to work with? And I always said
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: Kate because I just find that her choices are incredible.
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: You don't see her. It's completely honest, and she has
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: such integrity, and she's so grounded and real, and I
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: felt like I knew her. We had this mutual friend.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: And now honestly I feel like she's my sister, like
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: we were always meant to be in this kind of
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: familial kind of relationship with each other. I absolutely adore
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: her and she created the most incredible atmosphere on set.
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: It was just so freeing and full of trust, and
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: it felt so safe. I mean, they're navigating possibly, well
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: maybe one of the most challenging experiences that we actually
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: all will face, and it's you know, there are some
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: really big, vulnerable scenes, and it just felt like we
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: could try anything, and we all gave it our all.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: It was a very very special experience that none of
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: us wanted to let go. And we're still like on
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: a family chat. You know, most of us are in
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: New York here and we don't we don't want to
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: say goodbye as the movie goes off into the world.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: But it's a beautiful story about family and yes it's
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: about loss, and yes you will definitely need your Kleenex,
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: but you will laugh as well. It's so relatable and
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: you know, there are some zingers in there. It's it's
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: a it's an uplifting, kind of heartwarming, life affirming story.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: It's very very special.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: It is it's funny what you say about you know,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: growing up and having a different experience. I know, there's
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: Gabor Mattee or.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love him, He's incredible.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: He always talks about that because I always look at
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: because I'm one of sex.
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: I always look like my god, waity fool. Sorry, young
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: of course you're the baby. I'm the eldest. Very different
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: experience of how many tony only three? Only three?
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: But it runs in threes, like if you've read have
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: you read birth order or the sibling effect or birth order?
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: No, but I do subscribe to those ideas. Yeah, I
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: will read them. Actually, it goes in threes.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: It's like oldest, middle, youngest, and then repeat, repeat, repeat
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: with that, it's a.
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: Sandwich, right, sandwich, sandwich sandwich.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Because I'm always like, listen, there's nobody else in the
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: world that knows what happened in our house besides my
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: brothers and sisters, and we're all like yeah, like we
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: make a reference and we're like, yeah, we didn't get picked.
• 25:01
  Speaker 4: Up on time either. Our car our house was embarrassing.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: My dad had used cars strewn throughout the driveway. My
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: mom never went to any like public facing school, Like
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: she wouldn't come to a play or a softball game
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: or a conference.
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: She just couldn't handle the other parents.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: She's probably just overwhelmed and exhausted having had six children.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: I think I'm going to take a bath while you're
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: all out. She need some lexapro, I think, and she
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: forgot to get it. So I think that was the
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: main ingredient. But it is interesting watching this movie.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: Goodbye Junia was very much about family dynamics and very
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: relatable to anybody who has brothers or sisters, especially during
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: that time, because the everyone has a different reaction to
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: what's going on, and some people can deal with the
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: reality of the situation, whereas others are in complete denial
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: of the situation.
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, everybody handles grief differently. There are no rules, and
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: actually I think it's something that should teach in school.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: We don't know how to do it, and it's going
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: to happen to all of us, you know, chaos. Family
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: is chaos at times, and it's gorgeously so. And there
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: are just these very real moments that are fucking completely heartbreaking.
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: And if I'm here in London, I couldn't. I've seen
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: the movie. I was there. I know what's happening. I
• 26:14
  Speaker 3: was the last person to leave the cinema. I was
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: like racked. My body was convulsing. I was crying so much.
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: It just is very very powerful for a very intimate,
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: very quick shoot, very kind of probably on the page
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: seemed like a small story, but it's dealing with the
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: biggest thing death, life, life and death and love and
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: family like all of it. It's all of it.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: I remember that his reaction in this movie reminded me
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: when my mom passed away.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: My dad. We were all in the room.
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: We were in a hospice and my dad was sitting
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: there and you know, we knew her she had passed,
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: and like we're all just kind of together, and my
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: dad said, I got to go show a car to
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: a client, like some some random and like we all
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: looked up at him and we just had no reaction.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: We were like okay, okay. And then he goes and
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: I need a suit for the funeral, and so can
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: one of you do something? And we're like yeah, And
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: then he laughed, and I was like, I wonder what
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: happens to him when he gets in his car. And
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: then my sister's like, he's not our problem right now.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: But it's so true that men's and women's reactions to
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: things are so it can be so surprising, but then
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: once you see it, you understand the.
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: All process things differently, and there needs to be room
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: for that, and maybe there needs to be a bigger,
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: more accepting conversation around it, because in the West we
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: don't really We kind of shy away from it, almost
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: as if it's to be like, oh no, that's you know,
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: pretending it's not gonna happen. It's gonna happen. Can't get
• 27:37
  Speaker 3: out alive. Maybe this is a healing film. Maybe it'll
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: start great conversations about being more And actually, when I
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: was younger, I was really angry at life. I was
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: I was like, this is a this is a fucking
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: mean joke. What is going on? What are we doing here?
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: And it took a very long time for me to
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: accept and appreciate the mystery of life. But I think
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: once you have the context of life, you appreciate it more.
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: I don't know, it helped me live more fully or something.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: I don't know. And what do you think gave you
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: the context of life? Life itself? I think you get
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: given everything you need eventually. I like that, I know
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: you did that show. Who do you think you are right? Oh, yes,
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: I did. Yeah, I did that show too. How you
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: when did you do it? Oh years ago? Probably fifteen
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: years ago? Oh wow, okay, yeah, yeah I did in
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: Australia obviously that's where I'm from, and I was like, oh,
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: this is amazing. It's going to go back generations. It
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: went to my grandparents, like two generations. Well you are
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: from Australia, so but it's colonized. I mean, we're Irish
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: and apparently you know, there was a big journey to
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: get there. But it was incredibly moving. It was just
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: not what I expected. You know, It's like there's a
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: lot of trauma in there. Yeah.
• 28:51
  Speaker 5: Were there any surprises, Well, my dad's dad is not
• 28:54
  Speaker 5: who was told he was.
• 28:55
  Speaker 6: Oh oh wow.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: My dad did a a a DNA test with his
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: brother who was alive at the time, and found out
• 29:03
  Speaker 3: that his dad was not his dad, which he'd always
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: kind of questioned. We still don't know for sure who
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: my Nuan had a fling with, but I kind of
• 29:13
  Speaker 3: felt really impressed with her too. Yeah. She just clearly
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: wasn't happy and found happiness elsewhere. And my dad and
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: I are alive because of that. I am your her joy.
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: You know, it's a good way to look at it.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: I'm sure it's way more complicated than that, but that's okay.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: It's nice. Every story is the love story at some point,
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: I agree.
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: Okay, we're going to take a break and then we're
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: gonna come back with callers.
• 29:37
  Speaker 3: We have people calling you.
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited about this. Okay, right back with Tony Collatt.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Cheers and we're back with Tony Colat.
• 29:50
  Speaker 4: Okay, Catherine, what do we have going on today?
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: Well, our first question comes from Rachel, and I thought
• 29:58
  Speaker 5: you might have some insight into this, having gone through
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: the preteen ages with a couple of year kids. So
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: she says, dear Chelsea, I'm an American living in Mexico.
• 30:08
  Speaker 5: Not those idiots who move here to avoid paying taxes
• 30:10
  Speaker 5: or create travel Mexico tiktoks. I moved here over ten
• 30:13
  Speaker 5: years ago to work at an NGO that helps low
• 30:16
  Speaker 5: income families actually leave poverty.
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: Incredible person right there.
• 30:20
  Speaker 5: Anyway, about three months into living here, I met my
• 30:22
  Speaker 5: husband and now we have two kids, an eleven year
• 30:25
  Speaker 5: old girl and a five year old boy.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: The eleven year old is.
• 30:28
  Speaker 5: From a previous relationship. Quite the telenovella, which is a
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: whole other story. But I have been in her life
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: since she was three months old. His daughter and I
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: have always been very close, but since my son was
• 30:38
  Speaker 5: born five years ago, I feel like our relationship has
• 30:41
  Speaker 5: drastically changed. She's becoming a tween slash preteen, and I
• 30:44
  Speaker 5: know what comes with the territory, but this feels different.
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: She hardly talks to me anymore.
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: Even if I ask her questions, she will give me
• 30:51
  Speaker 5: a very short answer or just shrug.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: She's so different with her father.
• 30:55
  Speaker 5: She's a daddy's girl, so I don't take it personally,
• 30:57
  Speaker 5: But when he asks the exact same questions, she tells
• 31:00
  Speaker 5: him everything. I can't help but think she just doesn't
• 31:02
  Speaker 5: want anything to do with me. I've tried asking her
• 31:05
  Speaker 5: if she's mad at me or thinking about something else,
• 31:07
  Speaker 5: and she just brushes it off. I don't know what
• 31:09
  Speaker 5: to do anymore. My husband hardly helps, saying it's just
• 31:11
  Speaker 5: a phase. Am I the wicked stepmother that she doesn't
• 31:14
  Speaker 5: want in her life? Should I just blame it all
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: on teenage hormones? What do you think I should do
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: to keep the closeness we used to have? Asta Luego Rachel.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: Oh, I can completely understand that concern specially if it's
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: been close. Are you Rachel right there? Yeah, Hello, Hi,
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: so nice to meet you. That's too How long has
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: this been going on? Sorry? I did was that in
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: the letter?
• 31:36
  Speaker 7: So when she was born we had the very close connection,
• 31:40
  Speaker 7: and then my son was born five years ago, he's
• 31:43
  Speaker 7: five years old now she's eleven, and that connection kind
• 31:46
  Speaker 7: of dwindled, like because I think my son was born,
• 31:50
  Speaker 7: she kind of felt that my motherhood kind of went
• 31:52
  Speaker 7: to him more than her, and so it's just kind
• 31:54
  Speaker 7: of been rocky.
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: I don't think this is an uncommon story. I'm just
• 31:58
  Speaker 3: gonna say that, right, Yeah, Yeah, I think when another
• 32:02
  Speaker 3: sibling comes along, it's inevitable in a need to give
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: that new person so much more attention, and yeah, the
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: existing child can feel somewhat abandoned, right, So you're everything
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: to them and they get all your attention, and then
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: there's a split focus. I kind of attend to agree
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: with your partner. Life keeps changing, and I think potentially
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: it really is a phase, and you can help her
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: feel safe in the connection again and maybe have someone
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: on one time together and it will continue to change.
• 32:35
  Speaker 3: There are so many phases. Yeah, yeah, I.
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: Have a question. Is she is her mother in the picture?
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah? I was gonna ask that too.
• 32:41
  Speaker 7: Yeah, so her mom lives like five minutes from us.
• 32:44
  Speaker 7: We have a really good relationship, and so that's kind
• 32:46
  Speaker 7: of it too, Like I don't want to kind of
• 32:49
  Speaker 7: force her to call me mom or do those things,
• 32:52
  Speaker 7: you know, I don't want that to be an issue.
• 32:55
  Speaker 7: But I also, like there is one thing I was
• 32:57
  Speaker 7: telling Katherine in the pre interview, like we had a
• 32:59
  Speaker 7: Mother's Day event at her school, and all of the
• 33:01
  Speaker 7: kids like wrote their mom's name on her heart and
• 33:04
  Speaker 7: they like threw it up when they were singing, and
• 33:06
  Speaker 7: she wrote her mom's name obviously because it's her mom.
• 33:08
  Speaker 7: But I was hoping like maybe she would turn the
• 33:10
  Speaker 7: card and have my name on it. And it didn't,
• 33:12
  Speaker 7: and it was like kind of it was hurt. But
• 33:15
  Speaker 7: I'm not going to tell her that because those are
• 33:17
  Speaker 7: my emotions, you know.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: No, no, don't put that stuff on her.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: She's eleven years old, so her emotions are just like
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: not they're not that sophisticated. She's like coming from like
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: you know, fear based and like, so she doesn't have
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: abandonment issues, which is why I asked if her mom
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: was in the picture. So one more question is she
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: what's her relationship like with your five year old?
• 33:37
  Speaker 7: They're great, Like, they get along super well. She's very
• 33:40
  Speaker 7: caring for him, kind of like that older sibling who
• 33:42
  Speaker 7: always wants to make sure he's okay.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: So they have a great relationship.
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: It's really interesting. She has a great relationship with her
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: biological mother and the younger kid. Sometimes they feel they
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: can express all the shitty, crappy feelings and project it
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: onto the person they actually feel the same.
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: Tweet, Yeah, that is true.
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: She is she disrespectful to you or just distant?
• 34:06
  Speaker 7: No, just distant. And it's like sometimes I've talked to
• 34:08
  Speaker 7: her mom about it, and her mom's like, she does
• 34:10
  Speaker 7: it to me too. Sometimes she's just like see see.
• 34:12
  Speaker 7: And I think because we have her part time when
• 34:16
  Speaker 7: she's with us, she wants to spend as much time
• 34:18
  Speaker 7: as she can with her dad, which makes sense. But
• 34:21
  Speaker 7: I think I need to kind of squeeze in there
• 34:22
  Speaker 7: and be like, Okay, can I have a day or
• 34:24
  Speaker 7: two so that her and I can come back and
• 34:26
  Speaker 7: connect and do stuff together.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: I would say also like back off a little bit
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: and let her come to you a little bit more,
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: but definitely exploit the.
• 34:35
  Speaker 4: Relationship between your son and her.
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: Make sure that that's a primary focus, so that she
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: constantly feels needed you know what I mean, and feels
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: purposeful in your mind. Like she's probably starting to get
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: to an age where she's like, oh, you know, I
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: can understand her feeling competitive with a five year old,
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: but she's not taking it out on him, and to
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: take it out on you is a little strange. So
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: you should be available to her, like always make sure.
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: But sometimes when people push you away, it's like give
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: them double space, not to be childlike or act immature,
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: but as it's like, oh, she needs a little space
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: right now, let her have her space because it's an
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: age thing. She's gonna come back around when she needs
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: something from you, or she needs advice that maybe she
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: can't go to her mother for or something. You know,
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: something's gonna happen where she is going to need you.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: But I know, definitely when kids that age are going
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: through that emotion that like changing and they're coming into
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: their hormones and puberty and all of that shit.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: You can't just don't how effective that is. It's big. Yes,
• 35:34
  Speaker 3: these really do change for them. This like the whole
• 35:36
  Speaker 3: world is like a like a moving you know.
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: Yes, so your job is to really just not take
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: it personally.
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: Like you're an adult and you're the adult in the situation,
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: so you need to take it not personally like, oh,
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: she's not into me for this period of time in
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: her life. It is a phase. It's always a phase.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: Everything in life is a phase. There's nothing permanent.
• 35:56
  Speaker 3: But yeah, just give her extra space and be mindful
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: of the case. It's relationship. It's important that she you know,
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: she's the big sister. She's the one that can make
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: decisions when you're not around, you know, kind of putting
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: some responsibility into her hands so she feels really purposeful
• 36:12
  Speaker 3: within the family unit.
• 36:14
  Speaker 7: Okay, No, that's great advice. No, thank you so much.
• 36:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, great, thanks for taking my question.
• 36:19
  Speaker 7: You guys, it was great to meet you.
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: Love make love lady, see soon, take care bye bye.
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: That was cute.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: I know she's such a cutie.
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: That was sweet. Yeah, it's so nice.
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: You know, mothers trying to be better mothers, and stepmother
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: is trying to be better mothers. I'm out here and
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: trying not to get any children. More children in my life,
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: So magnet.
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: There's the reason. The more you say no, the more
• 36:46
  Speaker 3: they want you. That's very interesting. Yeah, she I mean
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: the fact that she's so mindful and caring and wants
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: to make it grite is beautiful.
• 36:55
  Speaker 5: That's not wicked stepmother energy. She's Yeah, so is Noah.
• 37:01
  Speaker 5: And he says, Dear Chelsea, my name is Noah and
• 37:04
  Speaker 5: I'm nineteen years old. I'm not going to say I'm gay,
• 37:06
  Speaker 5: because you already know that since I listened to this podcast.
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: You are a badass. I live in a mid sized
• 37:12
  Speaker 5: town in Maryland. I'm currently a college student studying for
• 37:15
  Speaker 5: a Bachelor of Fine Arts and Acting. I have dreams
• 37:17
  Speaker 5: of becoming an actor, and I've always seen myself living
• 37:20
  Speaker 5: in Los Angeles. The problem is I have an incredibly
• 37:22
  Speaker 5: close knit family with three younger siblings and two parents
• 37:25
  Speaker 5: who am very close to I'm a homebody and I've
• 37:28
  Speaker 5: never really liked to leave home or even sleep away
• 37:31
  Speaker 5: or really do anything on my own. So my question
• 37:33
  Speaker 5: for you is how do I prepare to make such
• 37:35
  Speaker 5: a big move to another coast to fulfill my dreams.
• 37:38
  Speaker 5: I still have a couple more years of college, so
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: this isn't an issue that's urgent, But how do I
• 37:43
  Speaker 5: become independent, self reliant and okay to live so far
• 37:46
  Speaker 5: away from people I love so much?
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: Love noah, Oh, how bloody wonderful that you love your
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: family so much and there's that connection and support and
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: that you feel completely cozy with them. A lot of
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: people want to get.
• 37:58
  Speaker 6: Out, thank you, thank you very much.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: I left home at nineteen because I just couldn't wait
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: to get the fuck out of there.
• 38:06
  Speaker 4: So my situation is different. I was the youngest, you're
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: the oldest.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: There's a sense of responsibility that you feel that I
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: did not feel. But my drive to become, like wanting
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: to start my adult life and become whatever it was
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: I was going to become, was paramount to that. So
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: it's like you kind of have to you know, A,
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: you're not leaving your family. You're not You're never going
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: to leave your family. They're here for good. They're locked in.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: So it's just about setting up a life where you
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: are going to be back and visiting them and coming back.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: If you really are passionate about going after this dream
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: of yours, it sounds like you are. I mean, you're
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: getting an education for it. Then you have to kind
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: of know that, like there's you know, you're going to
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: come back for the holidays. They're going to come visit
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: you in California. That's going to be exciting for the family.
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: And you can stay in touch in a million zillion
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: ways right now, you know, on face times and social media.
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: Oh, it's much hazier now, so so much, so much easier.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: So it's like, look at it not as a dread,
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: but as like an adventure, you know, like flip the
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: script and be like, this is the beginning of this
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: part of my life, and these are the sacrifices I
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: have to make. You move to La, You're going to
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: meet people, You're going to have exciting things happen there
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: immediately because it's so new to you, and you just
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: kind of have to get to a place where you're
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: ready to make that transition. You don't have to do
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: it tomorrow, but you know, if you want to chase
• 39:25
  Speaker 1: your dreams, you kind of have to start chasing them.
• 39:27
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And there is something that happens when you go
• 39:30
  Speaker 5: to you know, somewhere where you're in a creative career,
• 39:32
  Speaker 5: especially on one of the coasts, where you will find
• 39:35
  Speaker 5: your chosen family.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: It takes a little doing.
• 39:37
  Speaker 5: It takes like getting out there and meeting new people
• 39:40
  Speaker 5: and taking classes and you know, getting involved in things.
• 39:42
  Speaker 5: But you will find a family that feels very close
• 39:46
  Speaker 5: to you.
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: We all find that tribe. Yeah.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, you left home early because you went to school early, right,
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: you didn't even finish school, Tony.
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: I started acting in high school, Yeah, I did. I did.
• 39:58
  Speaker 3: I'm just kind of started at singing. I did a musical,
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: and then the teachers encouraged me to go to like
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: a youth theater group. So slowly my world started to open.
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: But I mean I wasn't prepared when I did Maurieal's Wedding,
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: which was only my second film. And I don't come
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: from like they are creative in their own way. But
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: everyone's got like, you know, what would be considered regular jobs.
• 40:19
  Speaker 6: You know.
• 40:20
  Speaker 3: I'm kind of like my dad's like, this is a miracle.
• 40:22
  Speaker 3: Then everyone's still pinching themselves at it ever happened, and
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: there is some kind of I also felt a bit
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: guilty for having these incredible experiences, and I was constantly
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: on the phone to my family, you know, trying to
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: share the experiences I was having. I think, ultimately, what
• 40:40
  Speaker 3: you come to realize at some point is that you
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: are allowed to have your own life and your own experiences.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: And if you are passionate about acting and actually have
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: that talent and that fire in you, it won't go away.
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: You just have to follow it. You have to honor it,
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: because that's the bread crumb on your path that's going
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: to lead to all kinds of growth and everything opening.
• 40:58
  Speaker 3: And it is very much in a venture, and it's
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: inevitable that you're going to meet new people because you
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: have to put yourself into I love traveling. I think
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: it's the best way to learn. You are put in
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: situations that are completely unfamiliar. It makes you grow, it
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: makes you open up. And if you're doing classes, you'll
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: meet like minded people and creative people. They are just
• 41:16
  Speaker 3: more They are open, right, They just want to connecting
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: ways that somebody in an office may not. I'm not generalizing,
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: trying not to generalize, but there's just an openness to
• 41:25
  Speaker 3: that field. So I think, you know, allow yourself to
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: follow the passion. I think really that's all all of
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: us can do in life that will lead you to
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: the right place, that will bring you to the good. Yeah,
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: when you know what you want to do. That is
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: the biggest gift.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know how many people you've talked
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: to that don't know what they want to do.
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: But we have a lot of people.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: Call under the podcast that have no idea what their
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: passion is and they're looking to find it. So that's
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: already you're already ahead of the game by knowing.
• 41:53
  Speaker 6: Thank you, thank you.
• 41:54
  Speaker 3: I's so very okay, great, have you got plans? Where
• 41:57
  Speaker 3: are you sitting right now with venturing out into the
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: world away from Maryland?
• 42:02
  Speaker 6: Good?
• 42:02
  Speaker 8: I mean, I've always dreamed of going with kind of
• 42:07
  Speaker 8: far away and being on my own.
• 42:10
  Speaker 6: But I've always been someone who just is so I'm
• 42:13
  Speaker 6: so close to.
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: My mom and it even it won't change, it won't change,
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: You'll get closer. Actually, distance makes her grow fonder, And
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: that's true. Like, you know, I used to hate my parents,
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: and then I went away and moved to California, and
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: then the next Christmas, I'm like, I think I love
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: you guys again. I'll call back.
• 42:31
  Speaker 4: I just needed a break, you know what I mean.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: So imagine if you already have a strong relationship, it's
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: only going to get stronger and and enhance.
• 42:37
  Speaker 6: More exactly exactly.
• 42:40
  Speaker 8: I think The other thing that is a little hard
• 42:42
  Speaker 8: for me is that my my youngest sister is she's five,
• 42:46
  Speaker 8: and I just she just started in kindergarten and it's
• 42:49
  Speaker 8: a little hard for her, just like it was hard
• 42:51
  Speaker 8: for me to leave. And so I'm like such a
• 42:53
  Speaker 8: part of her experience and wanting to And I know, obviously,
• 42:57
  Speaker 8: like you said, Chelsea, FaceTime is so amazing, but I
• 43:01
  Speaker 8: still just feel a little like I I want to
• 43:04
  Speaker 8: be here for everything, but.
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: The day to day. Such a sweetheart, You're set. I
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: appreciate that, darling boy. Yeah, you're you're gonna have the
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: timing your bloody life, and you're gonna be a great
• 43:16
  Speaker 3: role model for her to get out and do the
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: same exactly.
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: You're gonna be the cool older brother.
• 43:19
  Speaker 5: She can come visit, like maybe even before too long,
• 43:23
  Speaker 5: my my nieces and nephew started visiting even by themselves
• 43:25
  Speaker 5: when they were like seven or eight, you know.
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: So, and if you live near Disneyland, all the better.
• 43:32
  Speaker 6: Exactly right, exactly exactly, good.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: Luck with this career, this burning passion. Don't let that
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: flame go for it. Thank you so much, total pleasure.
• 43:43
  Speaker 6: Well, I will tell us you you're the best. Thank
• 43:45
  Speaker 6: you so much.
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: Bye, you are the best. By good luck.
• 43:50
  Speaker 4: He had such a distinctive voice. I was like, right.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love it. Good voice from.
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: Sounded like that. Last week I was doing all these
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: radio in London to seek. I sounded actually like a
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: drag queen. I love that sound. I do too.
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: I'm kind and I have come back. I love it.
• 44:06
  Speaker 4: I love that.
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: I love that voice. I wanted to have it all
• 44:09
  Speaker 3: the time.
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you get to like I get too high or chirpy,
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: and sometimes I hear myself, I'm like, why are you screaming?
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: You know, because you're excited.
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: It's okay, I know, I get too excited.
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: I think need to be excitable.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, we'll take a break and we'll come back with
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: one more and then we'll wrap up with Tony.
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: Okay, we'll take a break. We'll be right back and
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: we're bound about to.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: Yay, let's do one more, Catherine, Yeah, all right, Well
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: this comes from Izzy and this is just an email,
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: so Izzy says, dear Chelsea.
• 44:43
  Speaker 5: First of all, thanks to you and Catherine for all
• 44:45
  Speaker 5: your great advice.
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: You're like the cool older cousin. I get advice from
• 44:48
  Speaker 2: way more than my actual family.
• 44:50
  Speaker 5: And let's just say I made a big life decision recently,
• 44:52
  Speaker 5: which was easier just.
• 44:53
  Speaker 2: Imagining the advice you would give. Here's my issue.
• 44:57
  Speaker 5: I'm forty three. I'm the oldest of four siblings. My
• 45:00
  Speaker 5: youngest sister is in her mid thirties. My siblings are
• 45:02
  Speaker 5: all very close and we accept each other for who
• 45:04
  Speaker 5: we are. That being said, there's a specific issue that
• 45:07
  Speaker 5: has really started getting on my nerves. My youngest sister
• 45:10
  Speaker 5: almost never says thank you, from little things like buying
• 45:14
  Speaker 5: her dinner to not texting me to say thank you
• 45:16
  Speaker 5: when a gift for her kid arrives. She loves kind
• 45:19
  Speaker 5: of far away from me. Usually it's easy to let
• 45:21
  Speaker 5: it go, but recently I made what I felt was
• 45:24
  Speaker 5: a generous purchase for her, just because I make more
• 45:26
  Speaker 5: than her. But I didn't get so much as a
• 45:29
  Speaker 5: thank you. I know it's not her problem how I feel,
• 45:31
  Speaker 5: but I felt like it was just expected when what
• 45:34
  Speaker 5: I felt with what I did was above and beyond.
• 45:37
  Speaker 5: She's always been the classic baby of the family. I
• 45:40
  Speaker 5: know there's gratitude in her heart, and maybe her ADHD
• 45:42
  Speaker 5: makes it harder to remember to say something, But I
• 45:45
  Speaker 5: want to know from you, as somebody who's generous with
• 45:47
  Speaker 5: her family, How would you handle this? Am I being
• 45:49
  Speaker 5: too nitpicky to sit down and use an eye statement
• 45:52
  Speaker 5: and request just as simple thank you?
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: Would love to hear your take.
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: Is he No?
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: I think that's general, Like it's funny if that here
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: we go again with the same families. You know, same parents,
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: you grow up in the same family, and you have
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: different habits.
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: But I think.
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: Please and thank you are major criteria that are necessary
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: for people. And that's your sister, so it shouldn't be
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: an issue to go, Hey, I've definitely said stuff to
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: my family about saying please and thank you.
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: And it's not that you're doing it to get to
• 46:21
  Speaker 4: thank you.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: It's kind of just like good practice to thank people
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: for generous things or gifts, even small things.
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: It's nice to say thank you.
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: It's good manners.
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: I totally agree. Yeah, And it sounds like that you'll
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: really have great relationships and this is just kind of
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: slowly been mounting within you. It's a fine line, right,
• 46:41
  Speaker 3: because if you are a generous person, I think you
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: kind of have to give without expecting, without expecting anything back.
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: To be honest, giving is about giving. But I can
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: understand that you might want to have some like you
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: don't also don't want to be taken advantage of, so
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: they might be a little boundary there that needs to
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: be set or clarified. Yeah, I think certainly reminder.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, this is something I would put in
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: writing rather than say to someone. But putting in writing
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: alone just makes it feel heftier. But sometimes it gives
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: people more room to actually digest the information because it's
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: written down in a sweet little email, like if you
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: wrote her or center an email and said, Hey, you
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: know you're my sister.
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: I love you.
• 47:26
  Speaker 1: I'm always going to be doing nice little things for you.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: But I've noticed a couple of times where I've gone
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: out of my way for you and I haven't even
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: gotten a thank you, And that kind of feels like,
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: either maybe you don't want things from me, and if
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: it could.
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: Be that I was thinking that as well. Some people
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: that's uncomfortable with receiving no matter who it's from, right,
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: and so they don't know how to respond because it's
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: overwhelming to be spoiled in a way. I don't know
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: what was given, did we talk about?
• 47:50
  Speaker 5: What was she didn't say. I think she's trying to
• 47:52
  Speaker 5: keep it anonymous.
• 47:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, of course.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: But if you bring that up in the thing, if
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: you say that in your email, like listen, maybe I'm
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: going to stop. Yeah, maybe you don't want these things
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: for me. It puts it off of you and the
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: thank you more and it gives her the opportunity because
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: maybe she doesn't want gives herm you, but it gives
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: her the opportunity to go, oh god, ay if she does,
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: she's gonna be like, no, I'm so sorry, I do
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: I don't even realize I'm.
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: Not SAYINGBABLY don't even realize it. I'm sure she does it.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: So she'll probably be mortified.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: I definitely would say something. It's your sister. You can
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: say anything to your sister. You know, even if they
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: get mad, it's going to be okay in a couple
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: of days, you know, based on the close knit relationship
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: you have. But definitely, I mean, these are manners people
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: need to have. Please and thank you are kind of
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: the two most important, you know, phrases in the English language.
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: To add to what you were saying, if you make
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: it more about making her feel comfortable and it's less
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: about how disgruntled do you feel and just like, I
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: just I don't want to overstep the mark. Is it
• 48:48
  Speaker 3: okay that I did that? You know, I just didn't
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: hear back like it's kind of down in a way,
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: very generous way and making sure that they're okay with it. Yeah, yeah,
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: rather than feeling a bit jilted.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: I know, I don't feel comfort we'll getting gifts. I'm
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: always just like, oh god, you know, like I don't
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: know why.
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: I try and compliment me.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: Right, Its exactly right, right, right, right right, but yes,
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: definitely say something and put it on the gift giving
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: and we we sorted that problem out.
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: Well, you can see Tony's latest works on Netflix. Everything
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: she's doing on Netflix on Netflix right now, so I'm
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: sure there's going to be more to come. But Wayward
• 49:27
  Speaker 1: is the series that you should watch with May Martin
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: who created.
• 49:31
  Speaker 3: Created, produced, stars in produce, started everything but directed.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: And also make sure you check out Goodbye June, which
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: is beautiful film also on Netflix. Tony, thank you so
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: much for your time today, Absolutely hanging out with you,
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: and I can't wait to do.
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: It in person. I really can't person what today is
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: going to be, but I'm really happy to see you,
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: and I hope you have a beautiful holiday season up
• 49:57
  Speaker 3: there in Whistler. And I just love what you do.
• 50:00
  Speaker 3: You make people feel great. How brilliant that people feel
• 50:02
  Speaker 3: so comfortable and write into you about like these kind
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: of personal dilemmas that they have that really says something
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: about you. Actually, Oh, thank you. I love doing it.
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: I love giving it unsolicited advice, so I may as
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: well be solicited.
• 50:15
  Speaker 3: I kind of love it as well. I think I
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: see other people more clearly than I see myself. Well, actually,
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: I've grown into seeing myself more clearly, and so you.
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: But we all do. We all see everybody else like
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: it's everything's a mirror, right, Yeah? And who better to
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: give advice than someone that has nothing to do with
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: your problems?
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: Totally objective yep. Yeah, this is a total pleasure. I'm
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: so happy to see you and so lovely to meet you,
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: and thanks for having men and enjoy life. See you
• 50:40
  Speaker 3: twenty two. Happy holidays, Tony.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, likewise, enjoy yeah, hie. I just announced all my
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: will be touring from February through June, so go get
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: your tickets now. If you want good seats and you
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: want to come see me perform, I will be on
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: the whole h and mighty toour Do.
• 51:02
  Speaker 5: You want advice from Chelsea, Write into Dear Chelsea Podcast
• 51:05
  Speaker 5: at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of Dear
• 51:08
  Speaker 5: Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is
• 51:12
  Speaker 5: Edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Katherine law
• 51:17
  Speaker 5: And be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler
• 51:19
  Speaker 5: dot com