Latest / Eating While Broke / JENNIE GARTH - Butter, Syrup, and Boundaries: The Sweet Work of Choosing Me

Transcript

JENNIE GARTH - Butter, Syrup, and Boundaries: The Sweet Work of Choosing Me · Eating While Broke

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey guys, welcome to another episode of Eating While Broke.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I'm your host, Colleen Witt. And today we have a
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: very special guest, actress, author, podcaster, designer. Did I forget something? Mom. Mom,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: the ultimate title.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Jenny Garth is in the building.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Hey, hi everybody.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I am very excited to have you. I was a
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: little starstruck in Austin when we met. Did you remember
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: I was meeting? Of course I remember. It was during
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: my high life. I asked her on the spot, the
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: typical podcast pitch, and you were very relatable. You're like,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I know everyone, we have to ask all these awkward
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: questions or whatever to ask people to come on our show.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: And it took a couple months. I was like, oh,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: we had this great connection, but- We made it happen.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: We made it happen. We made it happen. And I
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: try not to do a deep dive on our guests
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: on the show because it keeps me present. I do
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: a barely deep dive because then I get all in
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: the weeds and then I know too much. Then I'm like, well,
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: what happened when this happened? But I have to say
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: this before I go further. This book, I Choose Me,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: I highly recommend to anyone, man and female, even though
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: we do talk about mommy-ish stuff a little bit. A
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: little bit. I think it's just completely relatable for people
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: that are... Maybe have self-doubt, struggle with imposter syndrome, all
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: of the above, self-love challenges. I'm going to say challenges.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: I really like this book because I feel, Jenny, you
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: did the work. I was like, oh, I could maybe
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: go ask her where she did this at. We both
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: live in Los Angeles, but I highly recommend this if
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: you're dealing with any type of personal battles that you
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: can't fully get over. And I told Jenny, I was like,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like maybe naming the book,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: I did the work because she did the work. And
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: it was... I felt like it was more like, oh,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: she did the work. So I kind of don't have
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: to do as much work. Is that terrible? It was like,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: she did the work. But when you read the book,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: it's definitely relatable on a hundred million levels. It's like,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: you wouldn't even predict looking at you that you struggle
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: with what a normal person struggles with. But I highly
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: recommend it. But enough about all of that. I want
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: you to tell me what you're going to have us
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: eating today.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: Okay. I'm going to have you eating something that I
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: grew up on in my family. We grew up in
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: the Midwest, in the middle of the cornfield. My parents
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: were both teachers. We were on a very limited budget.
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: We grew all of our own food in the gardens.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: And my dad loved to get pigs and then put
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: them on the table. I didn't really get it. I
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: was just playing with the pigs at the time.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Did you ever see him kill it? No.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: But the chicken, same thing.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: We were definitely farm to table before that was a thing. Yeah,
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: before it was a bougie thing. But this is called
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: rice cakes. And I grew up reading my mom's, this
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: tiny little paperback cookbook. I don't even know. It's just recipes.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: And it was how to feed your family on $ 12
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: a week. And that was like my first kind of like, what?
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Is there a different way to feed your family? I
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: didn't know because we were so just on our own
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: out there in the woods. But this was our staple
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: for us because rice wasn't expensive, I guess. It was
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: always on hand. We had the chickens, the eggs from
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: the chickens, and then you just fry it up in
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: a pan and that's it.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so can you tell us all the ingredients for
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: your dish?
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: Okay, sure, sure. Okay, so I have rice here. This
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: is pre-cooked rice. I don't know who I'm looking at. Yeah.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: It's pre-cooked rice.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: We were trying to cut down her cook time, everybody.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. So you don't want to waste your time
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: cooking rice.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: So we have pre-cooked rice.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: Very nice. And then The eggs. Yes. I don't use
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: eggs anymore because I'm a vegan. So I also am
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: grossed out by eggs just because of where they come from.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: I can't unsee the things I've seen.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: What?
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: When you've seen an egg come out of a chicken,
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: you don't want to eat it.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: Have you ever seen it?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: I grew up in upstate. We had chickens, but you
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: usually don't see the egg come out. You just collect
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: the egg.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Maybe I was just more curious. But I definitely looked
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: at that, and I was like, no. So I don't
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: eat eggs anymore.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: But this happened later on in life, though, right? Yeah.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: This would be the egg. So normally this would be
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: like two eggs. You can even just do egg whites
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: if you're like trying to cut back on your fat intake.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: But so you put the egg in there and you
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: scramble it all up. This is literally two ingredients. Okay.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Sometimes we got fancy and we would put some vanilla
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: extract in it. To be honest, I never really liked
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: it that way.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: Okay. When was the last time you ate this?
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: Three weeks ago.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay. Okay. Must be good.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: It sticks with you. I don't know. I love it.
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: It's like comfort food. So whenever I'm tired or putting
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: a little oil in here and then don't worry about that.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: It's fine. It's fine.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: I'm going to use a little scooper duper here. Okay.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: So you're supposed to make little cakes out of it. Oh, it.
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: Is that, did you purposely preheat it like that?
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wanted it to get that sizzle.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: Because that's going to give it its crispy edges, which
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: is really good.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: So when I saw the ingredients come in, I honestly,
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: it said rice cake. So at first I'm like, okay,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: are we buying rice cake? So then I said, she
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: must be frying it. So I didn't understand where the
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: cake part took place until I see how you're actually
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: making it.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: They're like little patties.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: I wonder if this is how you do the crispy.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Crispy rice.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: And then tofu. Spicy tuna. Spicy tuna and crispy rice.
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: Is this how you do it?
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would think. I don't know how they do that.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but it's making me thinking of it.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: You can put rice with oil in a waffle maker.
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: And it makes, I'm going to try, I've seen it.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: I haven't tried it, but I really want to try that.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: That's the crispy rice you're talking about, I think. So
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: you just let it cook.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Oh, my goodness. I'm going to try that, but you
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: never told me that. Tell me if it comes out good.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: I will. I haven't had time to do it.
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: Because you know what I make every morning for breakfast?
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: I do sweet potato waffle. You put it in the waffle?
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Every morning. I know this sounds crazy.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: No, I love this.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: I do the sweet potato. I punch it in the
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: microwave five minutes because I'm lazy.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Me too.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Stab with the fork. I pull it out, salt, pepper,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: a little bit of butter, not too much because I
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: still want it to be hard, not too soft.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I scoop it, put it in the waffle. I put cheese.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Wait.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: You got to put cheese.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: In the mushy part.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: No, no. Leave the mushy part or whatever. I leave it.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: And then I take a piece of cheese. I split
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: it in half, break it up because I have a
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: mini waffle maker. So it's like the base. So it
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: gets crunchy, like on a hard shell. First the cheese.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: The cheese on the waffle maker. Then I put a
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: little spoonful, two spoonfuls of the sweet potato. Put a
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: little bit of cheese on top.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Boom. Oh my God.
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: And I do it and I do that with guacamole.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: You know, the little individual ones. And I do two eggs.
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: And I promise you that holds me all. It holds
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: me from eight in the morning until two, three in
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: the afternoon.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: Do you put the skin of the sweet potato in
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: the waffle maker? No, just the insides.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: No, I don't. I just do the insides.
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: Okay. That makes sense. I want to eat that.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And then I'll do pickled onion on it.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Oh, come on. Look, so now we've got a beautiful
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: little crisp on that side.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: It literally looks like little rice cakes.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: I don't know what happened here. Sometimes they fall apart
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: and then you just squish them back together.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: Because nothing's perfect.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: This is a good dish, but it's cute that you
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: still eat it.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: My kids grew up on it and they come home
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: now and they're like, can you make me rice cakes?
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Really? Yeah. So where does the syrup come? I don't
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: want to fast forward. The syrup comes, it's like a pancake, huh?
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: You eat it like a pancake?
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: For real? I'm excited.
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: And I think you could go either way with these.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: You could do butter and syrup, which is what we're
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: going to do. Or you could go savory. You could
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: put sautéed mushrooms on top of it or anything.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I like this. I really like this.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: It's just a big bite of rice base. So it's
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: coming along pretty good. I'm going to add a little
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: more oil.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: And this is a quick dish, guys. This is very quick.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: It couldn't be quicker. I like things that are quick. Yeah.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: And then just for all the listeners that aren't able
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: to watch, she preheated the pot. So that's why you
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: heard that sizzle. So right when it touched the pot,
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: it pretty much fried it, right?
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Instead of cooking it.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because you want the cake to hold its shape.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: You want to give it heat right away. Otherwise, the
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: liquids could seep out and stuff.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: I have a four-year-old. I feel like she would like this.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Oh, she'll love it. I promise you.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Brilliant. She don't eat nothing.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: No, she'll like this.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: She'll like this.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: I promise you.
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: This is like the ultimate mom hack right here.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: If you put butter and syrup on anything.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And fry it, okay, even better.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: You'd be surprised. Mine is like a roll of the
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: dice every morning.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: I know. I had a picky eater, too.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, so take me back to the $ 12 cookbook time,
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: farm lifetime. Tell me like how many siblings, what was
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: the whole?
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was like Brady Bunch in the respect that
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: my dad was married before and he had three kids.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: And my mom was married before and she had three daughters.
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: And then they got married and they had meat. And
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: then it was all of us together.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: She was the love child. I was.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: I was the baby. Yeah. But a great position lineup
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: in the family to be in, but also has its
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: challenges as the baby of the family. Yeah. You get
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: a lot of heat. You get a lot of expectation,
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: all that stuff. But you get spoiled.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah. How old were the older kids, though? The older kids?
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: Were really already, when I was young, they were already
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: out of the house on their own. And then my
• 10:04
  Speaker 2: sisters from my mom's side are who I grew up
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: with in the house.
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: So I have four half-sisters, two half-brothers. But they're all
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: blood-related by my dad or my mom.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Wait, hold on. I'm sorry.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: They were married with... Remember when you.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: Did you watch Brady Bunch?
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: Okay. Remember when the mom, Carol, had three daughters and
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: Mike had three sons and then they got married. They
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: didn't have a kid, but if I... I was like
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: a dog. What was the dog's name?
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Tiger. Tigger?
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Tiger. I was Tiger in that family. It was like
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: a blended family.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: But you're saying that the other siblings, the older siblings
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: didn't live with you guys?
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: No, they were already out of the house.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: So you were like literally the baby?
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: That's cool. Okay.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: So my mom had me when she was 30, I think.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: Okay. So she was a young mom.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah. With her little girls.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: But did they not have more money because the kids
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: were all older?
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Because the other, the kids grew out of the house.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: The older kids grew out. So they only had to
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: take care of maybe just you?
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: No, all my other three sisters. My dad came in
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: and adopted them and took them on as his own
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: and raised them too. So the older ones, yeah, they
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: were out on their own, but there were still four
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: in the house.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: So still, okay.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: I think these are done.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: Okay, you can turn it off. Do you want to
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: try it? Then serve us up.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: We're both eating this, by the way, and you get judged.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: I do? Wait, where's the judge? Are you it? Wait,
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: let me plate it for you. Come on. That's also
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: really important.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: Did you see that?
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Are you okay?
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: I saw it. I'm just glad that your face wasn't
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: over it. Let's just take that off the heat.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: You should have seen your face.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Fireworks. Okay.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Don't touch that stove. It's very hot.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to touch that again.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: Let's see. We're going to put, this is vegan butter,
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: which I'm guessing it's probably not that great for me.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: Let's see what's in it.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: I don't understand, though. What's in it? If it's vegan,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: why is it not green?
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I have contacts in it, and I still can't see
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: what's in it.
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, I am 42, and I just realized that when
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I read, it gets blurry.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so tiny. They're trying to trick us.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: What am I looking for?
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: I think there's seed oils in it, and they're saying
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: so much now about seed oils being bad for you.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Soybean oil. That's one of them. Canola.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's another one.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: This is pure seed oil.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: Enjoy.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: I'm going to enjoy it.
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, literally my favorite thing. I like toast on crackers.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: But does it taste like real butter?
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: I think it does.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you if it does.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to make it pretty for you. It's not
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: really working.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: I used to be addicted to real butter. You said
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: in your book that you put salt on your ice cream?
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: I put butter and salt on everything. When I was little,
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: I would get on the table and eat the butter out.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Of the butter dish. That's what my daughter does. If
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: you go in my house, there are teeth marks in
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: the butter like it's a Snickers bar. She'll run it
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: and grab it. I have to hide it. No, for real.
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: Go in my house. There's teeth marks in all the butters.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: She's your child. I'm scared that she's going to grow
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: up like the people that eat the drywall. Her weird
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: addiction or something.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: Their eye shadow. Oh, no. Mom, she won't go there.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: This is your rice cake.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow. That looks fancy. Are we able to zoom
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: in on that?
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: It's just a drizzle.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: It looks good. It's okay. You're dropping everything. Oh, don't
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: get your sleeve in it.
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, is it too late?
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: No, no. You dodged a bullet.
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: Got my baloney sleeves.
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: This looks good.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: This is one of the tops from my collection I
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: was telling you about.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: Okay, I put salt on mine.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to do that for you because I
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: want you to have your choice.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: No, I want to try it the way you make it.
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay. What's happening?
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I get to experience.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: How do I get it to come out?
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: Wait, I think I go out the big hole. Yeah. Okay.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: All right, there you go. There you go. Hook it up.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: All right, let me try this.
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: All right, it looks like a pancake.
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: I made one for you, too. Yeah. I need a plate.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Okay. I love that he was like, really? Okay, here
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: we go. This looks like a pancake. Honestly, it looks
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: delicious because the way the butter melted.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: It's so good. Tell me you don't love that.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to front. This is really good. This
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: may go up there because I'm not a huge pancakes person.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: I love French toast. Okay. But does this not kind
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: of remind you of French toast with the on the outside?
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: The mushy on the inside.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: But this can't be healthy, right? I shouldn't know about
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: this dish.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: It's rice.
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't know about this dish.
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: Which is good for you.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: You fucked up my life.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: An egg, which is good for you, or fake egg,
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: which probably isn't great for you.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Oh my God.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: It's a little fried, but it's in avocado oil. That's okay.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: This is really good.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: And I was saying before, you can do this savory.
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: You don't have to just do this with the butter
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: and the syrup.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: You should totally do it with the butter and the syrup.
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: This is absolutely phenomenal. And I don't say that. I
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: talk smack.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: This is impressively good. And I ate before, guys, so
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: I can't even say I'm hungry.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: There's something about the crispy and then the middle.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: It's like a French toast to me. I like it
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: really crispy on the outside.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: I like things plain too. If I were to put
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: cinnamon in this, you'd probably like it more because you
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: like French toast.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: No, I like it just the way it is. I
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: like French toast on my cinnamon, but the way this
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: is made is perfect.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: French toast on your cinnamon.
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: French cinnamon on my... You know what I'm saying. All right,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: let's get into your story. Guys, for people at home, honestly,
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I would give this a 10 out of 10. Price point,
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: if you're vegan, this is... You know how you vegans eat.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: Very expensive. But if you are broke, eggs is probably
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: the most expensive part of the dish. Rice. And honestly,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: this is a good hack if you don't have pancake
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: mix at home. This is great. This is great for
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: the dinner. This is great for the afternoon. This is great.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: And if you got a picky eater, I'm pretty sure.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: Try it.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure she knows this.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: Okay, good.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: I don't like maple syrup.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: You don't?
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: But I like it on this.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Why don't you like it?
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's too watery. Yeah.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: What do you like instead? Molasses?
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: I like the Aunt Jemima's or whatever.
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: Okay. That's not even a real.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: What is that? That's like pancake syrup.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: That's like pancake syrup. Yeah.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: I like that.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: Isn't that terrible? Pancakes have juice? I don't get it.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: It's just sugar. That's why you like it.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: It's butter. It's everything.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: At least if you're getting pure maple syrup, this comes
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: out of a tree. Just like this.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Look, I like maple syrup on this. Okay, good. I
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: bought maple syrup. It's still in my cabinet from a
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: year ago. Nobody touches it.
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: You're about to use it.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Look at this. 10 out of 10. Wasn't hungry. Perfect
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: dish for being broke.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: I know you're going to ask me a question, but
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: I'm going to take another bite.
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: All right. So yeah, enjoy your bites. All right. Let's
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: get into your home life. So you grow up Brady
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: Bunch style. You're on a ranch.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it didn't look anything like the Brady Bunch on TV,
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: but we were on a farm and My dad was
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: a teacher by day. My mom was a teacher by day.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: And then they would come home and be gardeners and farmers.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: And just, we would just be with the family. We
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: raised hay on our farm to feed to our horses.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: We raised, had a big garden.
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Where we- You made hay? How do you make hay?
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: Seeds. And then it grows and you cut it and
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: then you turn it.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I did not know. I don't know why I don't
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: know that.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: And then you dry it and then you put it
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: through this machine that makes it into a bale. And
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: then another machine that puts the straps on it. And
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: then you have to pick that mother up and put
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: it off the machine onto the wagon.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: And my- I can remember. They did all of that?
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Me, my sisters, me, I saved me. I was the baby.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: I got away with just like, I got away with
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: so much, but my sisters and my dad would bale
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: the hay every season.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: Did they sell it?
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: We used it all year long because the winters are there.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: They're really harsh.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: So where is this?
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Illinois, right?
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: In the middle of the six.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Wow. Okay.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: So good in school, not good in school.
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: I was like a good BC student. Okay. I had
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: a couple A's here and there.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: Reading your book, it doesn't seem like you, I don't
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: want to use this word, but lack a better word,
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: like a toxic family environment? No, it was idyllic, honestly. Yeah,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: it does. Mostly.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: Of course, in retrospect, that's how I remember it because
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: nothing super terrible happened, no terrible traumas other than my
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: dad getting sick. That was the first time I ever
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: dealt with any kind of adversity as far as stuff
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: like that.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: You mentioned, though, he got sick quite a bit, no? No.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when he was 37, he suffered his first heart attack. Oh, okay.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: And so that was when I was young, 8, 9, 10.
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: And then that kind of changed our whole life because
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: open-heart surgery wasn't like it is now. It was much
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: more invasive, much more risky. And so he had a
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: lot of complications from it, and then he just kept
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: having heart attacks. So we would always have to go
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: back in, get a stent, get a balloon, get another bypass.
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: So many years after 37 of suffering from heart disease.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: And then your mom picked up the slack?
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my mom took care of him. She was his
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: caregiver for all those years. And he never, he was
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: my hero. He was, you know, daddy's girl for sure.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: We were born on the same day.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, wow.
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: So very close. And there was nothing he couldn't do.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: I feel like he could have lifted a car if
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: he wanted to. He was a farmer and a teacher
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: and just this great guy. And then he changed. That
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: fear of death continued. crept into him and that mortality
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: changed his personality. And it was hard to watch happen,
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: especially in his 40s and his 50s. But we fought
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: as long as we could to keep him alive. And
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: he did great for so many more years. He didn't
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: die until he was 74, I want to say, or six.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: He died in 08. But yeah, that was, other than that,
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: it was a pretty great childhood. I didn't have a
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: lot of friends. I was mostly just me on my
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: dirt bike at the farm.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: Why didn't you have a lot of friends? I figured,
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: it sounds like you were in a small town.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Very small town, but we lived outside the small town,
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: like 40 minutes down a dirt road, like asphalt road.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: But you went to school with the other kids?
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I rode a bus to school and I guess
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: had friends as a little girl, like kindergarten and one
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: and two. But I think like when is it? Right
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: before junior high, sixth grade, fifth grade, sixth grade. That's
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: when girls dynamics start to change and then you get
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: unsure about everything, your social, everything. But then I moved.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: So I started completely over. We moved when I was
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: 12 to Arizona. for my dad's health.
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: Okay. Now you left home early though, right? Can you
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: walk me through that?
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: Well, I left, I didn't really leave home early. My
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: mom came with me to California. Is that what you mean? Yeah.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: So we left home.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: We left my dad.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: He was doing okay. And he encouraged us to go
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: try this crazy thing, acting.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: And you did, you were the one that brought it
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: up or can you tell me how the whole acting
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: thing came about?
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was a dancer. I was teaching little kids
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: how to tap dance for my money, like to pay
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: for my car payment and stuff when I was 16
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: in Arizona. And I loved doing that. And there was
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: this pageant where you could go showcase your talent and
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: maybe win a scholarship to college. So of course I
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: did that. And in doing that, one of the guest
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: judges was a Hollywood talent manager. He had been a
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: casting director for ABC for many years, and then he
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: had just started his own management company. And he was
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: there as a guest judge, just fluke. And he said,
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: have a look. Here's some, I want you to work
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: on your acting skills and let me know how that
• 21:41
  Speaker 2: works out. Keep me posted. So I went back to Arizona.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: I would videotape me in my acting class with this
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: woman named Jean Fowler. And we would send the VHS
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: tapes in the snail mail to California and he would
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: make his notes and send them back to us or
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: call us. And then at some point he's like, you
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: know what? You seem really natural and comfortable whenever you
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: want to come out. So my mom and I were
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: just like, let's go now. And we knocked on his
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: door and I think he had a panic attack.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, you actually showed up there. Did you ever end
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: up winning the competition for the scholarship?
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: I'm just curious. No, I came in third. But three
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: is my lucky number. I like it.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: Okay. But I love that your mom was also excited,
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: it seemed like, about this opportunity for you. Who was
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: more excited at the time, you or your mom?
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: I think my mom was maybe more excited. I've always
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: been a very chill, go with the flow kind of person.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: I didn't know what I was getting into.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: No idea.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: I'd never met a famous person. Nobody in my family
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: was an actor or an entertainer of any kind. I'd
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: never been to Beverly Hills.
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: And so this wasn't like I've been watching TV and
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: I thought, this doesn't sound anything like a childhood dream.
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: No, no.
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: It was just.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: the way things worked out. And then I started working
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: at a craft that was presented to me and I started,
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: I'm a person that likes to do my best no
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: matter what it is, even if it's digging a ditch,
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do it the best I can. And
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to be a good actress. And then
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: I developed into an actress that was hireable and I
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: got a job and then that just rolled on from there. Wow.
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: So is that door knock? Is that Mr. Showbiz in
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: your book?
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. You kept calling him Mr. Showbiz and I
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: kept thinking of Sex and the City. For whatever reason,
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: I keep thinking of Mr. Big. I'm like, who is Mr.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Showbiz? Not that different of an energy, honestly. But Mr.
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: Showbiz.
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: We've been together for almost 40 years now.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: So he's been with you since you were a little baby. Yeah.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: He's the only manager I've ever had.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: That says a lot about you too, though. It says
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: a lot about him, but it also says a lot
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: about you.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I'm just loyal. I don't like, I love change. Let's move.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: Let's get different clothes. Let's change our cars. But I don't,
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: I like a solid core of people that I can
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: count on. Yeah. And then once I have that, I
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: don't really add on to it very often.
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: Like even in your book, there's main characters like Adele. Yeah.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: And you have Yeah.
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: Adele and Mandy, those are the people I turn to.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: And now Dave has gotten, and my daughters are older,
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: so now I definitely have them as part of my
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: team to keep me in support. Yeah. Yeah.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: Okay, so you go on auditions. You land 90210 right
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: out the gate.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: Now, it's funny because if you're my age, you definitely
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: watch 90210. Everyone watched 90210. You were a baby. You
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: were 18? Yeah. When I started, I was 17. You
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: blow up overnight, it seems, right?
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: That show, it took a few months for that show
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: to find its audience at first. Because that's back in
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: the day when there was only CBS, ABC, and NBC.
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: And then along came this little network called Fox. And
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: that's all the channels you could get back then. Do
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: you remember that?
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I don't remember how many networks. I don't know the details,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: but I remember 90210. Yeah, it was the big three.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: And then Fox came out and it was us, The Simpsons,
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: and Married With Children.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: And that launched the Fox network. I remember all those.
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: So then more and more people started to get access
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: to Fox on their TV stations, however it worked back then.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: During the summer, when the big three networks were showing
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: their reruns, because they gave people time off and there
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: was no new episodes of stuff, our producers decided to
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: create double up the amount of episodes we would do
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: in a season. And so we had new material all
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: summer long. So then the kids that were home on
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: summer break started like catching on to this show. And
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: then from there it went skyrocketed across the world.
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: How was your work schedule during that?
• 25:42
  Speaker 2: We worked, it was like we were there more than
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: our homes. We were there At least 12 hours a day,
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: sometimes 16 hours a day. And yeah, you go in
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: at 6 a.m. and you come home at 7 or
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: 8 or 10. It just depends on how much there
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: is to do. And at this point, both parents are
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: living with you in California?
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: No.
• 26:01
  Speaker 2: My mom had moved me out initially and then I
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: got my own apartment because I got emancipated so that
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: I could work as an adult. You got the whole emancipation. Yeah.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: So that's why you were 17, right? Yeah. You divorced
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: your parents. No, yeah. Amicably.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, amicably. Yes, for sure. But then my mom decided
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: to move back to take care of my dad some more.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: So I was on my own in North Hollywood.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Not a great neighborhood I was in.
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: At that time, probably not.
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: No, it was not good. But I liked it. I
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: had a nice neighbor. I made a friend. But that's where, yeah,
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: I was living on my own and just working every day.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: And there were no distractions or anything? Did you do any,
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: No. No, there was no time for anything else on
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: that kind of day. You go in and then you
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: come home and you go to sleep because you know
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: you've got to do it again tomorrow and you have
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: to prepare, memorize your lines and stuff like that. I
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: had a couple of boyfriends here and there. Those were distractions.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: I got married when I was 21. Yeah.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: To the drummer?
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: To the drummer.
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: I have a question. So I'm reading your book. I'm
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: almost done with it. There were ways in the book
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: that you would deal with challenges, but it doesn't say
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: where the beginning of coping started from. I'm not fully done, everybody,
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: so don't judge me. You may be like, she covers
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: that chapter. Who's there? Are you able to share where
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: the coping started to creep in or where you discovered
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: that mechanism of coping?
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: It was early because once... Fame happened. Even before the
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: fame there started a real strong current of insecurity of
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: what am I doing here? That kind of feeling that
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: you're not good enough. And then also I think that
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: manifested into depression. And so I started to feel a
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: certain way that I couldn't come out of on my own.
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: And that's when I started on medication when I was
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: around that age for depression.
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: This is before 21. Wow. And were your parents okay
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: with you taking that stuff?
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: They were with me. I just... I was born a
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: blue person. I am very in touch with my emotions
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: and very emotion full. And also I feel things very heavily.
• 28:25
  Speaker 2: So for me, that meant a blue person. You know
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: how some people are just bubbly and rainbows and sparkles? Yeah,
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: I was like, what does blue mean?
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: I have no idea.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: For me, it just means you're like on the chill
• 28:37
  Speaker 2: side and maybe a little bit on the darker side
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: of things, but not terrible. And I think that just
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: The pace of life and the amount of pressure that
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: was put on me and on all of us and
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: the amount of expectations to uphold and nobody there who
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: had experienced it or knew how to survive it to
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: guide me. So I was really trying to figure it
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: all out on my own. And that's when things started
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: to get confusing for me and heavy. And I remember
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: then came the spiraling uncontrolled thoughts of, I can't go
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: out of this house. If I leave this house, then
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: I did a little agoraphobia for a while. Agoraphobia. Where
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: you don't leave your house. Sometimes I confuse it with arachnophobia,
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: but that's a fear of spiders.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: I'm not afraid of spiders.
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: I am.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: Agoraphobia. And so I just started to isolate myself more
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: and more.
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: Okay. Now, they don't give therapists to shows like when they're...
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Because you guys were... really young, right? So they don't
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: offer some kind of.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: No.
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: No. But when you're young, also back then, I'm sure
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: therapy wasn't talked about either.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: No, there wasn't therapy. And also there was no benefits
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: for medical, like there was no SAC.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: Oh, there was none?
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: It wasn't like what it is today. No way. Wow.
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: Now you get a certain amount for mental health, which
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: needs to be a lot more, in my opinion.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: So you're starting to experience anxiety staying in the house.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: And then at what point do you reach out and
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: tell someone? Do you reach out to say something's going on?
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I talked to my mom and dad about it first.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: And the first person, I think the second person that
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: I talked to about it was my friend Adele. She...
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: Somebody told me that I need to hire an assistant.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: And I thought, okay, then I'll hire an assistant. I
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: already have a mortgage and a car payment and employees.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: And you're under 21, right? Oh, yeah.
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: And I have to pay all my own bills. And
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: it was a lot of pressure. So I Hired an assistant,
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: one more person to pay for. I don't know why,
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: but we joke now and think, oh, I paid you
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: to be my best friend because she's still my best friend.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: She doesn't work for me anymore. So you guys were,
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: you were friends though before.
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: You brought her on? No, I interviewed her.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: You interviewed her.
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: And I based my decision on hiring her. I'll never
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: forget on what she was wearing. I thought she was cool.
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: And I was like, I can hang out with you.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: Because I don't know what you do.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know what your job is going to do.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: So they just told you you have to hire an assistant.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: Who is they? It's not Mr. Showbiz, right?
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: No, people around me. I don't know who specifically, but
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: it was like the thing that... Okay, so you.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Have this assistant. What did you give your new assistant
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: to do?
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: First task was probably let's make cookies together. I'm not kidding.
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: That's hilarious. She loved her job. Oh, yeah.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: We just had fun all the time.
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: We gardened. Are you guys the same age and everything, too? Yeah,
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: she's a few years older than me.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: So this was a real, this was perfect for you.
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: So, yeah, I paid her to be my best friend.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: Okay. So you two tell her what's going on, or
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: does she pick up something's going on, Adele?
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: No, she could tell. She's very intuitive. She's actually a
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: therapist now. So she evolved into what she was supposed
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: to become. But I didn't talk to anybody else. I
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: didn't really let that stuff out of the home. And
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: she was with me and she saw it firsthand. And
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: she saw my relationship with my first husband wasn't fulfilling
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: or stable like I thought it would be. And so
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: she was just very supportive and cared a lot about me.
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: And she was one of the first persons that told
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: me my first coping skill I think I ever learned,
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: like my tool in my tool belt for mental wellness.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: was to lay down because I would just get very
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: spun out and ruminate on things and just make myself
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: just a disaster.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: Almost like an obsessive thinking. Yeah.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: And she had me lay down on the couch. She said,
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: close your eyes and now I want you to picture
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: a stop sign. And she was like, I want you
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: to see the shape of the stop sign, all eight
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: sides of it. She was like the white around the
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: red and then the letters, what do they look like?
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Everybody knows what a stop sign looks like. So you're
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: really able to grab onto that.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: And it stops you from swirling.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: I'm going to steal that. Go Adele.
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: I got so many tricks.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: Go Adele.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: That was the first one though.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: Do you think she started to, working with you, started
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: to maybe study up on how to deal with kind
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: of what she was seeing? I don't know.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: I think it was just always in her to be
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: a person of service for other people. But she went to,
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: after she worked for me, she became a nutritionist. And
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: then from there, she became a therapist.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Okay. Okay. All right. So at what point do you
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: actually learn your first negative coping mechanism? I'm just trying
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: to figure out where does that, because in order for
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: you to figure out the coping mechanism, you gotta, someone
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: has to introduce you to it, right?
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I think early on it was not drugs and alcohol.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: It was more emotional outbursts or like based out of
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: jealousy or fear of being left, all that, like big
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: swings like that. And so my home life wasn't always
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: as stable as I wanted to. Like for instance, when
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: my husband wouldn't come home and he was drinking with
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: his buddies all night, that would just knock me off
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: my game. And I would get angry about it or
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: yell at him or whatever. So it was never a consistency,
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: healthy environment. And then It wasn't until later in my
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: second marriage that wasn't going well. There was starting to
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: be a lot of time apart. That's when I think
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: I started relying on mama's juice. The mom groups with
• 34:23
  Speaker 2: the wine and then the wine would stay when the
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: moms weren't there. Not that I had mom groups over,
• 34:28
  Speaker 2: but that's what I heard. So I started drinking wine
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: by myself at night after the kids were bad and
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: started taking medications that were given to me for anxiety,
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: for flying. And yeah, that's how I coped.
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: Now, but when you look back at your, say, outburst for, say,
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: whatever men were doing or whatever, do you feel like
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: some of the drinking or coping was to, like, die
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: down your reaction to, okay, I guess if I just
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: be more quiet about it, then maybe that's where the
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: coping came in?
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: I think, yeah, during the second marriage, I think so.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: I kind of lost my voice in that. And I
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: was so uber focused on raising the girls. And I
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: was so happy being a mom. I didn't want to
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: do anything else. I didn't want to go to work.
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to be a wife. I just wanted
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: to sit on the floor and play with my kids,
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: cook for them, clean for them. And so I didn't
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: have a lot left to give anyone else. And I
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: think that there were a lot of parts contributing to
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: why that marriage didn't work out. But that was definitely
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: one of them, certainly on me. But I think... At
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: a certain point, certain dynamics, one partner may lose their
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: voice in a relationship. And that happens a lot. And
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: I lost my voice, my opinion about anything. And I
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: was just like, whatever you want. Okay. Just trying to not,
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to have an outburst. I didn't want
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: to have a reaction. So I just kind of stopped
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: and numbed out. Yeah. Just naturally. Yeah. And then I
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: like that feeling.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: It's interesting because hearing you say that now and then
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: realizing that how hard you really wanted it to work
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: on the second marriage. It was like to hear you go, okay, yeah,
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: she was definitely, you were definitely fighting.
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Even that marriage to my daughter's dad, it was
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: too late. By the time I knew I had made
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: mistakes by not giving him enough or whatever it was.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: I just don't think we were meant to be together,
• 36:27
  Speaker 2: but that's another story. Okay. It was too late. And
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: so I tried to fight for it at the end,
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: but it just didn't work out. And then so the
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: second marriage, the last one, the third marriage, I wanted
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: to fight. I fight for things and I want things
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: to succeed. And then when that marriage started to unravel,
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh my God, what.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Is wrong with me? On the third one, did you...
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: I know you guys did the camping trip. See, this
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: is why I don't like doing too much research. I
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: know you guys did the camping trip, but it almost
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: seemed like you weren't fighting for the marriage on the
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: third one. You were more fighting for yourself. Am I wrong?
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I think both my day.
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: Obviously both.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah. We were both, we had endured some real big
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: emotional setbacks. in our personal lives. And I talk about
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: in the book, miscarriages and not processing that together, which
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: really drove us apart. And then him, we laugh about
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: it now, but he jumped into a very big world.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he did.
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: He's from Virginia Beach. He didn't know about, I was
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: famous and had these daughters and an ex-husband and all
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: these dogs and all these people. And like, it was
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: so much. And he thought, oh, I can do this.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: It's great.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: But he thought it would always be fun and rainbows
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: and sparkles. But When the shit hit the fan, it
• 37:48
  Speaker 2: wasn't fun anymore. Like when one daughter is mad at
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: him because he's taking her spot in my bed, then
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: things got ugly fast, which in the household, and those
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: are just normal dynamics you have to work with, but
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: he just wasn't there yet personally. So he had to
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: go do work on himself. And I, with no intention
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: of getting back together, both of us during that.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: Break, Yeah, that's what I thought was kind of unique, too,
• 38:12
  Speaker 1: was like because there was like the filing of the divorce.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: And then I don't want to give away the book
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: at all. You got to read the book. I'm going
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: to skip over this because I'm not giving away the book.
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: You guys got to read the book. She did the work.
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: She code. I want to talk about the. Oh my gosh,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: it was in my head. It was in my head.
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: Where does I choose me the podcast? Because the podcast
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: and the book are separate, right? But at what point
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: do you make it in between all of what was
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: going on? I choose me needs to be like a
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: theme of me.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: It's so funny because all my life, I've just thought
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: it's so weird how I'm the CEO of me. Like,
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: and I think we can all, if we all break
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: it down, we are all the CEO of yourself. Like me,
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: you are it. You're the boss. you got you and
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: that's it. So I always said I'm the CEO of me.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: And now having formed a brand around the whole I
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: choose me concept and the theme and that kind of
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: messaging is so interesting how the things work out like that.
• 39:11
  Speaker 2: But I was very lost when I was 50. My
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: girls were starting to get older. Two were out of
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: the house. One was still in, but wanted to be out.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: They didn't need me. And I was like, what am
• 39:22
  Speaker 2: I doing? I think it was Before COVID, during COVID,
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: after COVID, I just was in that weird transition place
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: that some people hit when they reach 50. A lot
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: of women, because you're at a different phase of your
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: life and all of a sudden it's there and you
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: don't know how to do it because you've never been
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: in it before. Much like all the other phases of
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: my life that I fucked up. But I just had
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: to really get quiet and like really think about my life.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: I stepped back and I thought I need to move forward.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: But if I, maybe if I look back at my life,
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: I can move forward with intention. Where were my, where
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: were the great parts? Where were the parts where I
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: struggled the most? How did I overcome the things I did?
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: What could I have done better? Really looking at all
• 40:05
  Speaker 2: those points in my life to get me to back
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: into my body and familiar with myself. And able to say, yeah,
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: that was not a good look or ooh, yeah, or wow,
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: look what you did. You survived that. You can do anything.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: And I think at 50, we as women go naturally
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: through this kind of evolution and it's really cool to watch.
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: It's hard to do. It's hard to be in because
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: it feels very isolating and you feel like something's wrong
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: with you because everybody else that you're seeing on the
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: Instagram and everywhere is starting businesses and CEOs and founders
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: on a yacht. It's so hard to compare, comparing yourself
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: to everyone else is just such a waste of time.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: So I did my fair share of that to the
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: point where I was like, you know what? I'm only
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: going to start following people that make me feel better
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: about myself or that are, have lives that I want,
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: like successful, healthy lives. And so I started to really
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: focus on what I wanted in my life for my
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: next chapter. And then they say like, where the mind goes,
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: the energy flows. And so instead of thinking about all
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: the places where I failed or struggled and holding on
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: to shame or holding on to anger because of things,
• 41:21
  Speaker 2: I just had to let it all go to make
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: space for what I wanted in life. Because I was 100%
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: sure I didn't want to be in a bad marriage.
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: And I was 100% sure I wanted to be a
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: healthy person. And I wanted to feel better. I could
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: not find happiness wherever I looked, no matter how great
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: my life was. And I wanted it so badly.
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah. There was a point where you were like, I
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: just want to be happy. I want to be happy.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: I want to be happy.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: One of the things that I want to talk about
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: here is the entrepreneur businesswoman in you. Because And I
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: was saying earlier, I feel like I didn't get to
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: see in the beginning of the book. I haven't seen
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: it in the book, but I definitely think it needs
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: to be talked about because you're an entrepreneur. You're technically
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: an entrepreneur. You're an actress. What is an entrepreneur? It's
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: someone that runs a company. You run a company. Do
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: you pay for other people to run there?
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: Do you have goals set? Of future companies. You have ideas.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: You're definitely an.
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: Entrepreneur because I Choose Me is your brand. Yeah. You
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: have your own clothing line with QVC. The fact that
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: you're able to pivot. So all these things make you
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: an entrepreneur. When you buy your house, you're not saying
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: you work for ABC. You're saying you work for Jenny
• 42:37
  Speaker 1: Garth LLC or I don't know what the name of
• 42:39
  Speaker 1: the corporation is. So you are a hundred. I don't know.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: It's just weird. It's a weird word that people throw
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: around so much now that I'm like, what does it
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: really mean?
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: It's a huge word. I'll tell you why. Because I
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: started my first companies when I was like 20 and
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: I suffer with imposter syndrome like no other. But when
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: I bought my house, I remember trying to convince the
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: banks to respect that my business obviously wasn't going to
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: take tomorrow. And when they gave me a loan based
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: on the money that I was making in the obviously
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: hoping that the company doesn't fail, right? That was the
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: first time I said, oh, wait, I can be called
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: an entrepreneur. But in your case, yeah.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: I guess I've always been one.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: You 100%. But the key to it is that you pivot.
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: You're not like, I'm just an actress, right?
• 43:28
  Speaker 2: No, I realized that I can't rely on any one thing.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: Exactly. And then the other thing you do, I'm not
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: trying to point it out, but Entrepreneurs, someone told me this.
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: They said entrepreneurs look for opportunity. And so Mr. Shoba
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: is in your book. He's an entrepreneur too. He's always,
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: there's an opportunity here. But when I look at you,
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, this is an entrepreneur. And I think
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: you should definitely be a title you own. And I
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: don't think it's a title that should be like lightly
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: taken because to pivot is is very hard. Like when
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: you love something and it's not really fully working or
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: it's all of a sudden went left on you or
• 44:03
  Speaker 1: COVID shut your business down or whatever. That's an honorable thing.
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: And I think as a woman, that's like a mother
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: who's juggling heartbreak, but then you still got to pay
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: the bills. It's like a real thing that women are
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: dealing with. You are dealing with it, in my opinion, gracefully,
• 44:17
  Speaker 1: but also very open. Your thought process and the way
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: your mind thinks was like, She thinks like me.
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: Where is this?
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: Who is coming from? Who am I to do this?
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: I can't do it. Like telling yourself.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: You do it, but.
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: I had to fight through all of that mental clutter daily,
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: moment by moment.
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: And you still did it.
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: To do it. Yeah. Constantly thinking I'm not good enough
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: or comparing myself to other people or just thinking nobody
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: really cares what I have to say. And there are
• 44:46
  Speaker 2: people out there that don't care what I have to
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: say and that's fine.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: But it's- It's really helpful. Oh, it's 305, by the way. Okay.
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: I wanted to highlight that when you're opening these new
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: businesses and these, like, running a podcast, taking a chance
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: and doing a live show, building the QVC, the clothing brand,
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: writing a book, do you ever wonder if, and this
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: is just a personal question, if- It could be a
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: possible coping mechanism as a distraction because these are really
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: challenging projects. Writing a book is a challenging project.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: I like challenges.
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: But that's what I'm wondering. I can tell you do.
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: Do you think that's a coping?
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: Do you think that somewhat, because you're going through heartbreaks,
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: but then you're like, I'm still working. You know what
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: I'm saying? I think I learned that. I know for me,
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: I could be going through a heartbreak, but if you
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: give me a new challenge, I don't care what it is.
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: Like when you were like redecorating your house, I'm like, jeez.
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: I was analyzing, is she possibly coping through these challenges?
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: You didn't really talk a lot about the business stuff,
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: but I saw that there was always a little bit
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: of a something to distract you through the pain. That's
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: my question.
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: I think that's great. I think that why not distract yourself?
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: With something challenging and you can look back and be like, yeah, motherfucker,
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: I went through that, but I also got something to show. Exactly.
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: I'm doing, I think I'm about to do a play
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: for the first time in my life only because I
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: have never done it. And the opportunity came to me
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: and I thought, okay.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 46:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah. So I'm all for trying things you haven't tried.
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: And the worst that can happen is failure. And I've
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: done that. So I know how to get out of that.
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: I know how to rise out of those situations. And
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: you're just not really afraid of things in life anymore.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: I mean.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And you do the hard work and you do
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: that self-work. So yeah. But everyone, how can everyone keep
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: up with everything?
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: Jenny Garth.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: My Instagram is Jenny Garth, whatever. At Jenny Garth. And then-
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: Your podcast? Yeah, my podcast is I Choose Me with
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: Jenny Garth. It's on iHeart. And let's see.
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: How many seasons are you in now?
• 46:50
  Speaker 2: I'm in my second or third season of I Choose Me.
• 46:54
  Speaker 2: I've been doing another podcast called 90210-OMG for the 90210
• 46:59
  Speaker 2: fans out there. But we're in our eighth season. So
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: I did that for a minute. But I also, yeah,
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: the book is on bookshelves now. And it's just a
• 47:07
  Speaker 2: world that I'm trying to create where whatever it is
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: that I bring in to under this umbrella of the
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: umbrella of choice and reinforcing that we have choice in
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: no matter what we do. It has to really align
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: with me. It has to, whatever I bring out next,
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: like I'm very thoughtful of like, what's the connect here?
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: What's the bigger story? Because I don't, yeah, there have
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: been times when I needed to sell something because I
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: need to pay the bills. And who knows, that might
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: happen again. But at this moment, I'm really focused on
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: doing things that align with the life that I want.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: And what I want right now is to build that.
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: Until I'm like, you know what? I don't want to
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: build anymore. I want to enjoy.
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: And I'm real close to that. I mean, I say
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: it's going to happen at 60, but I don't know.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: It might come sooner. And then I see that you're
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: also more cautious on who you allow in, right? Who
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: you allow in to sit at your table, right? Yeah.
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: Because that's what I got in the book. And I
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: was like, I need to be more like that. Yeah.
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: You have to be discerning. And it's hard because you
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: don't want to... disappoint people or upset people or make
• 48:13
  Speaker 2: enemies out there. But as your life comes in to
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: focus more and more as you get older, you realize
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: who are the good eggs and who are the distractions,
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: who are the ones that are trying to bring you
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: down or keep you small. Yeah. Okay.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: All right, guys. Thank you so much for tuning in.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: Definitely go ahead and make you some rice cakes at home.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: One other thing I wanted to mention, when you are
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: making the rice cakes, I did see Jenny pour For
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: the vegans, pour a lot of egg. It was semi-soupy,
• 48:43
  Speaker 1: not fully soupy, but it wasn't dry.
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: It was mushy.
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: It was mushy. So if you do go try to
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: make this at home, I don't want you going, why
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: didn't I make it right? So make sure that when
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: you pop your eggs in there, it's a little mushy.
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I usually use two cups of rice and one,
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: maybe two eggs. Okay.
• 48:59
  Speaker 1: So there, peace out. And it's a great meal. Peace out.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: So good. Eat them off the road.