Latest / Untraditionally Lala / Dating & Sex with Love Island USA’s Calvin Cobb and Eli Benjamin

Transcript

Dating & Sex with Love Island USA’s Calvin Cobb and Eli Benjamin · Untraditionally Lala

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, welcome to the Give Them the Law
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: podcast where She's not here, but we are.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: We are in Who is we? Easton?
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: Were Burningham?
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: No one will I put myself on the back all
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: the time because Gigi won't do it for me.
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: Speaking of Gig, how was your weekend with Gigi and Law?
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: I saw you guys had family in town.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: Yea brother, sister in law, niece, nephew, and it was
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: good family time.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: When shoe shopping with my nephew, it's a what is
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: it called? Now, I'm drawing a blank.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: It's a burger place, shake shack. No, it's like easy
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: something easy Street or something. Okay, it was like a
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: top tier burger.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: But ye done nothing slaps like burger.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: She wrote, that's right as you can hear.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: Please welcome Eli and Calvin.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: If you'd like to snap for quiet snap, thank you,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: but please introduce yourself.
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: Who are you do your thing?
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: Bro?
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: My name is Calvin Cobb and I am a fan
• 1:22
  Speaker 5: of Burger, She wrote, We have specified here. You might
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: have seen me on season two of Love Island us A.
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: I am absolutely ecstatic to be here.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: Hey, thank you for joining us. Thank you for taking
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: time out of your day to do this with me,
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: of course.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: What about you, sir?
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: What about me?
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: Sir?
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: Hello everybody, my name is Eli. You have not seen
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: me on Love Island?
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but you might please put his resume in a.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: Few times every season Survivor as well. Somebody put me
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: on something scratch, there you go, so you wouldn't see
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: me on that. But my name is Eli. Live in
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: la for a minute, so you might see me bouncing around.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: I did watch your episode though, yesterday for the first time.
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, that's Moira Squirman.
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: Throw in that seat. I mean, there's no spoilers, right,
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: this is years ago.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: This is this is years ago. I mean COVID that's
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: a popidemic. I need to do in Vegas.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: I need to watch Love Island. I'm gonna do my
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: personal intro of these three just so you guys know.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: So I love the three of you. I love these
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: three guys because I know Eli because he worked across
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: the hall from us when we were over at our
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: other offices in West Hollywood. I know Calvin through Easton
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: and these three guys are like, I'm gonna talk to
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: little ladies for a second. If you ladies know how
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: men can be, but these three are very I just
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: like their friendship because they're not afraid to be like vulnerable,
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: and they're honest and they're such chill people to hang around.
• 3:02
  Speaker 2: And I know we said that on the podcast Stories
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: and we posted for you, for all of you men
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: and women to ask them questions and I'm very excited
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: for them to answer. So all of this to say,
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: I'm very happy you three are hon It's like a trio.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: That's why we I think I'll get along with each
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: other is because we're honest.
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: With each other.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, great energy.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not afraid to say anything that's not that.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: Everything on my mind is said. Good cry we hugged right,
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: we really do.
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: Is it.
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: We're grateful for you as well being here. Thank you,
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: thank you for having us joining, Thank you La La.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yes, but the weekend was good. Law is doing amazing.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, her, she's the We had ocean and a babysitter
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: in London, my niece, my brother's little girl, so that
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: was amazing.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: How old is London? London? Is you guys? I know
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: everyone was shocked being like, wait, Lala has a sister
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: in laws, Easton married. Easton is not married.
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: Yet but now not yet yet.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: It's their older brother.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's my half brother. It's my brother from
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: my dad's first marriage.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: His wife.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: Yes, So they have a.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Daughter, yame London. They have a daughter who Yeah, Cheryl,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: who you've heard of. She was in the delivery room.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: They have a daughter, London. So we have two and
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: she's fourteen.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, she was in she was That's a perfect
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: age for babysitting.
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to lie to you. I don't know
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: either of their ages.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Really.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: They've grown up quick and I have no idea. My
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: nephew is turning sixteen. He's about to drive vehicles.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Wait, London. And there's a brother, Drayson, Drayson Okay, his
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: birthday was Friday. Yeah, you guys went to saddle Ranch.
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: Saddle Ranch.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Probably couldn't ride the bull. You had to be eighteen,
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: But you can be hammered as shit.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: You have to be eighteen to rive seem to ride
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: the bull.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: Injured, eighteen to get hammered a shit too.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: No, but like you can ride it twenty one and
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: hammered as hell. It's like, why do you sixteen and sober?
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: I trust more than twenty one and a drunk dude
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: on it.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: That's true, right, Yeah.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: We draw the line these days? Where do we draw
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: the line?
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: Have either of you el Calvin ever been to Saddle Ranch?
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: You guys go out a lot. Tell us about your
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: social lips.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: I have missed her out.
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: He is, he is late got Honestly, I've been a
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: little too out. The summer's been a bit much.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: But it's good.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: I've been to Saddle Ranch.
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: I have you have?
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: I have?
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: How many times give us a ballpark in your life?
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: Not that many?
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: Maybe like six?
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: Oh?
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: Okay, is that a lot conservative. I've read the bull
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: maybe twice successfully.
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, hand up?
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: Hand up? We ass on the ground, hand back up,
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: asked back on the ground.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: There's one thing.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: We saw some girl with no strength in any part
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: of her body and know how like.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: Tips, Oh yeah, she.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: Just would fly down. She smacked her head on the
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: bull and she'd lay there like lay on it because
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: she couldn't get back up. So the bull would flip
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: her again and then she'd just sit back. But because
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: it it's like controlled by somebody, So he wasn't angry, but.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: Like she smacked her face so hard. Me and law
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: were dying. We did I didn't look.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: I was too busy laughing, and I didn't want to
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: look and laugh because I felt bad.
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: It's not about how many times you smack your face
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: in the bowl, how many times you get up?
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: Baby?
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: Have you ridden the bull? Calvin?
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: I've been one time, Saddle Ranch, and I have not.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: I have somebody maybe had a little too many drinking
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: that was.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: Actually sober.
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: And it was it was no, this was this had
• 6:37
  Speaker 5: to have been when I lived here last, like in
• 6:40
  Speaker 5: twenty eighteen.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: So that's why the memory is.
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: We didn't know that.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: You knew that Combin Easton, Yeah, I knew he lived here,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: then moved to Atlanta and then moved here.
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah it's the Midden.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, Maryland here now right?
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah this guy? Yeah, how long have you lived here?
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: Wow?
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: Can thank you so much?
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: I've been here for a decade, decade six times. It's
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: Saddle Ranch.
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: Are you yes? Are all three of you single?
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: No?
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: Novin is going to be a good which has got
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: some answers because he'll be the relationship guy.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, hold On also just hit six months ahead, six
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: months what relationship? Congratulations you thank you?
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: Trying to get like you.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: Bro Okay, back at it.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: So happy six months, Happy six months, Thank you so much.
• 7:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I am single. I just got out of a
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: four month.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: Thing, situationship.
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: I feel weird saying situationship in my old ass age
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: of thirty.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: It was.
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: Ok.
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: It was like a ghost relationship. I had no idea
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: he was dating.
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: She went to another school, so you guys don't know
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: her right right?
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: That?
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: But otherwise single, but it was tough. That was like
• 7:53
  Speaker 4: a That was the longest thing I've had in many years, actually,
• 7:56
  Speaker 4: that four month really? Yeah?
• 7:58
  Speaker 2: Oh so you're you're not a long term relationship guy?
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: Or are you? And just haven't been in a while.
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: I haven't had a girlfriend in about ten years since
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: I've moved to La.
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: Why why do you think?
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: I don't know? We should dive into that today.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's exciting.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: I think you might need a therapist around for that one,
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: are you guys?
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: You guys offer that? I haven't sure we can?
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: I mean, what do you think we're here for?
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: I can do my best. I'm not a voice of reason, though.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: How long have you been single?
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: I've been single for I think like four years now.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Okay, do we enjoy being single? And I say we,
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: because I too am single, So this is do we
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: enjoy this?
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: It's perks.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: I just feel like I like going throughout the day
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: not having to like entertain something uh huh something.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: He says someone.
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: The pressure for someone's emotions, that's actions can sometimes be
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: a lot if you're not fully in it, right. But
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: it's nice to have a person, you know, it's nice
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: to have your person.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Wow, you're saying fully in it. I've never been in
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: fully in it and since my last one, but I.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Like i've been. I've talked to girls, but I've never
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: felt like fully in it.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: But don't you think that's dating? You know what I'm
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: you guys wrote in so many questions, are you okay
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: for us to get Let's just get in because I
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: want to hear all three of your own damn advice,
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: your opinion.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: And before we get into these questions, let's get a
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: quick up day from Lalla.
• 9:23
  Speaker 6: Hello, my loves. I miss you guys so so much.
• 9:26
  Speaker 6: Here is an update on life postpartum with baby Sosa.
• 9:31
  Speaker 6: We're getting hungry again. My life consists of feeding, burping,
• 9:35
  Speaker 6: putting her down for a nap, and by the time
• 9:38
  Speaker 6: I do all of that, it's time to start all
• 9:39
  Speaker 6: over again. I've put makeup on today that has not
• 9:43
  Speaker 6: happened in quite some time. Also, what I have learned
• 9:47
  Speaker 6: about Sosa, she has zero chill patience she gets from
• 9:52
  Speaker 6: her mama, we have none. She will come off of
• 9:56
  Speaker 6: the boob on accident like lose it out of her mouth.
• 9:59
  Speaker 6: She starts screaming bloody murder and thrashing like jazz. So
• 10:07
  Speaker 6: if that's any indication of how she will be in life,
• 10:10
  Speaker 6: she will get what she wants, that is for sure.
• 10:14
  Speaker 6: Like I said, I miss you, guys. I have one
• 10:17
  Speaker 6: week left of this life and then I'm back at it,
• 10:19
  Speaker 6: so I will catch you next week.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Thanks a lot, and we can't wait for you to
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: come back and meet the room so I don't have
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: to run this shit.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh my gosh, you guys, I'm not kidding.
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: This might be the most questions, one of the top
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: of a questions I've ever seen. This is very exciting.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: A lot of you just want to know, like what
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: Easton and Eli and Calvin think. So, okay, this is what.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Do I think about what.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: We're about to get into it? Okay, okay, okay, I'm
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: gonna start off strong, start off.
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: Strong, and the anxiety.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Are men attracted more two looks or personality? I want
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: all three of you to answer, honestly.
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: The initial attraction's got to be there on looks. I
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: think that's we all know that. I mean, that's how
• 11:09
  Speaker 4: conversations start, that's how romance usually begins. But I do
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: think a lack of connection personality wise does lead to
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: a quick fizzle. You got to have something that, like
• 11:19
  Speaker 4: when you're not together and you're texting and you're calling,
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: and you're not physically looking at each other and like
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: dreaming into each other's eyes, there's got to be something
• 11:26
  Speaker 4: to keep that going. Now.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: I've like the.
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: Girl that I most recently dated was very, very, very funny,
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: and I didn't realize how much I valued humor in
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: a relationship because like, whether you're down or you're not down,
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: it's just like really nice to be able to just
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: be laughing your house off just throughout the day via text.
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: And she was also gorgeous, which helped that situation.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Did she call this off or did you this? Four
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: month is this?
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: I would say that she called it off okay, but
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: probably because I was not ready to give her what
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: she needed at that point. You know, we had a
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: conversation at the three month period being like thinking about
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: this kind of this, like I feel like artificial timeline
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: these days, that things have to turn into something real,
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: and we talked and wasn't ready to turn into that
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: for my own reasons. Then she ended up just getting
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: out to protect herself.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: Hey, and you.
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: Are yeah, and it did, like that hurt me despite
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: knowing that like if I really wanted to fight for it,
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: I could, but still she ended.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: It completely, Okay, do you have any regrets?
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: This is very fresh, This is a couple weeks old,
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: and it was a very last week was a very
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: tough week for me, honestly, sorry, even though I felt
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: like I had somewhat of control and power in the situation.
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: It's tough losing someone you know after four months. It's
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: tough to just like lose a person that you know
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: you know, And so she ended it.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Has the week or any the couple of weeks, has
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: that changed your mind of you being ready?
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: What were you not ready for?
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: Just had a lot of stuff going on in my
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: professional and personal life, and I feel like this is
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: a very bullshit cliche answer that every guy has probably
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: told somebody, but like it is true, like if I
• 12:57
  Speaker 4: had a wall up, and I don't think I ever
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: allowed myself to really knock that wall down for this
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: person and get to that point. And so it was
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: just like I don't think I allowed myself to be
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: vulnerable in that way until honestly, like the last night
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: in which I was able to really show her my
• 13:10
  Speaker 4: true emotions. But still she just deserved more from what
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: I was giving her at a four month period.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: I think that was a very honest and respectable answer.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: Thank you for that. How about you, Colvin, what do
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: you think about looks versus personality?
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: I think that both are important for me.
• 13:27
  Speaker 5: I think that especially growing up as a you know,
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: as a guy, you're like, oh.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: My god, I gotta have the hottest, the hottest.
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: Girl in it, and and that's that's the most important thing.
• 13:39
  Speaker 5: And then as you kind of age, you kind of realize,
• 13:43
  Speaker 5: like sometimes I would say, even personality is a little
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: bit more important because I mean, looks are going to
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: fade and that one little thing that you might think
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: is a little out of whack can either be fixed
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: or it's just not gonna matter here in forty years
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: when you're you know, fat and wrinkly and old as
• 14:02
  Speaker 5: well as and so to be able to have that
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: that connection is really important when it comes to the personality.
• 14:10
  Speaker 5: Like you know, I was saying, it's you got to
• 14:12
  Speaker 5: be able to laugh with the person that being said.
• 14:15
  Speaker 5: Obviously you want to look for the best of both worlds,
• 14:17
  Speaker 5: which fortunately I have been able to acquire. Not a car,
• 14:23
  Speaker 5: but you know, yes, consentually's actually I've both come to
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: an agreement.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: No, but yeah, so I'd say both.
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: But yeah, looks catches the eye first and then the
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: personality keeps it going.
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: I will also say, though, what I really love in
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: a woman that I'm dating is confidence, and sometimes that
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: does coming with her. I was going to say, that's
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: monk that she's attract iron So you know, someone being
• 14:48
  Speaker 4: hot and a bad bitch like I love that because
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: like I also love them being confident and that comes
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: in insecurity issues sometimes well, confidence, I feel like makes
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: the girl even more attractive. You can be you know,
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: uh in my like you could be basic in your eyes,
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: but like, if your confidence is there, your aura is
• 15:07
  Speaker 4: what brightens that like you in that room.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I will yes, I will say too as
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: a woman and I'll say this, like with my relationship
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: with Kyle, because I was with him since I was
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: twenty five, when I was more insecure at the beginning,
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: less confident, that led into like jealousy and like all
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: these things that were just lots of fights. And when
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: I became more sure of myself and more confident, then
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: it was like, oh, chill and happy and like I
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: felt good and then he felt good. So I think
• 15:35
  Speaker 2: confidence plays a role in a lot of things.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: For sure.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: What I look for is looks first, obviously, catch the eye,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: like you said, and I look for a personality and
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: just confidence in the room to brighten the room itself,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: but to put her in a certain light. And we
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: all know that one girl that has done that, you know,
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: no matter who it is, So that would be for me,
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: just a confident woman. Yeah, and that confidence brings attraction
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: as well, you know.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I love that. Okay, you guys,
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: Next question, Okay, why is it so hard for men
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: to share their emotions with their partners? This is obviously biased,
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: but I do think a lot of people feel that
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: way sometimes about men. It's very difficult for a lot
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: of men to be vulnerable and emotional with their partners.
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never had that issue, and I've always been honest,
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: but I feel like it's because the reaction you've got
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: being honest has made you never want to be honest
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: again with partner, and so I feel like, if you
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: can't go to your partner and be honest, it's because
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: they made you feel uncomfortable being honest, so now you
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: feel like you can't. And at that point, as a conversation, okay,
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: because I've never been in that.
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: Boat, have you, Guys?
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: I think there's definitely a fear amongst a lot of
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: men of being vulnerable and opening up so that they
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: can shut down, especially like these days with you know,
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: general toxic masculinity stuff. Like, I think a lot of
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: young boys are trained that they do have to hide
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: those emotions and feelings. Despite the fact that I'm friends
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: with a lot of women, and I'm sure we'll dive
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: into that in some later questions. I have a feeling
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: but like I like all the girls that I talk
• 17:18
  Speaker 4: to will say that they are absolutely not turned off
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: by a guy who's showing emotions and feelings towards them,
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: But somehow it's been ingrained, and I think a lot
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: of young boys' minds that it's going to make them
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: look bad and make them look weak, and like, I mean, look,
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: I cried for the first time in like ten years
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: two weeks ago, So I'm not going to sit here
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: and act like I'm mister fucking emotions over here. I
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: was like crying. I was like, is this? What is this?
• 17:39
  Speaker 4: What crying is?
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: Can you care for some deeply? I can't really breathe
• 17:43
  Speaker 4: on my nose. It's just like, is this regular?
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: I've cried on this podcast.
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: Nobody makes good emotion tears. But when I did, it
• 17:51
  Speaker 4: was it was very freeing, you know, And I can
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: say that it definitely I do not think turned off
• 17:55
  Speaker 4: this person that I was talking to. If anything, it
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: felt like we made breakthroughs, even if it was a
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: little late. But still, I don't know. I'm new to it,
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: but like I do think it's very important. It's a
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: vulnerability thing. It's shutting down your wall thing. You know. Yeah,
• 18:09
  Speaker 4: this man be crying though.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: You'd be crying. Calvin, could you me.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: All the time? Could you repeat the question please? Yes?
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: Could a sentence?
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: Why be sad? Broad a good shower?
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: Crist The day started like that, it doesn't count if
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: you cry in.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: The shower, right, Why is it so hard for men
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: to share their emotions with their partners.
• 18:37
  Speaker 5: I also think that it has something to do with
• 18:40
  Speaker 5: a level of commitment and trust and the relationship. I
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: think that in the last couple of years, I've I've
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: come to find that a lot of times I'll kind
• 18:52
  Speaker 5: of distance myself emotionally in order to protect myself in
• 18:58
  Speaker 5: order to Okay, well, if I share this and get
• 18:59
  Speaker 5: that vulnerable, I'm giving this other individual and this human
• 19:03
  Speaker 5: a look into something that they could use to weaponize
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: against me, right, which obviously isn't the ideal, and that's
• 19:10
  Speaker 5: what you wouldn't hope would happen. But I do think
• 19:13
  Speaker 5: that's an aspect of why, especially men are more inclined
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: to kind of hide those emotions or not express him
• 19:24
  Speaker 5: as fully because of that protective aspect of their vulnerability.
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I think that there's obviously it's
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: a relationship based years ago with my one boyfriend who
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: I was with for like two years in Nashville. I oh,
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: have done so many awful things. But he let's get
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: into that into that sit But he was like he
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: basically entered he was like six years older than me,
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: way more emotionally mature. He entered our relationship being very honest, right,
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: being like, oh my ex and I ended because I
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: cheated on her with this person, but I regretted it.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: He was very honest, and instead of sort of taking
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: that like I would now and be like thank you
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: and hearing it being like you've grown, I really did,
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: I think eventually weaponize it. And it made me insecure
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: because he said, like he cheated, So I was like, okay,
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: so this guy cheats when like that's it's so tricky
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: because like he did cheat, but he was saying how
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: he was growing, and so then when he would go
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: on tour and stuff, I was insecure and I'd be like, yeah,
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: but you cheat, like you told me you cheated before.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: What if you cheat again? And we ended up breaking
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: up because a lot of things. I just I did that,
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: like I did weaponize. He was trying to be honest,
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: and so I do think at the end of the day,
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, we weren't meant to be for sure, but
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: at the end of the day, it is better to
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: be honest. And like you said, like, yeah, it can
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: be used against you. And but like being honest, being vulnerable,
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: being emotional. I definitely appreciate now more than I ever have.
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: I think for sure, keeping things hidden is never going
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: to help long term. No, it might make things easier
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: in the beginning, and it might make like this facade
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: of like everything being chill, but like down the line,
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: it's going to come out regardless.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: But then you have to be all right with whatever
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: you're told to forgive.
• 21:12
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, or just taken into account. Well, okay, yeah
• 21:15
  Speaker 5: that do I want to be with someone that has
• 21:17
  Speaker 5: cheat in the past, you know.
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: That's very true. That's why a lot of couples therapists say,
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: like when couples go and I just know this because
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: mine and Kyle's couples therapists said this, when couples go
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: to a therapy for cheating. If you this is a
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: lot of them, not every but it's like, when you
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: choose to forgive the cheating, you have to move on.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: You cannot keep going back because it's like then it
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: just becomes toxic, you know. Okay, So there are a
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: ton of questions like this. This is the most recent
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: one up top, but basically, can men and women be friends?
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: This says can a female and male both married with
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: children actually be best friends? So my overarch in question
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: for all all three of you, can men and women
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: truly be best friends?
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: I think so sexual.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: I think though, it's when you've had sex and you're
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: best friends with them.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: I can't get by that.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: Like my if I was dating a girl and her
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: best friend was a guy, but they had even one
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: time they slept together, I can't get behind that.
• 22:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, even a drunken night, MISSA can't.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: Who's to say they're not going to get drunk again
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: hanging out with each other as best friends and it's
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: going to happen again or they were.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: She was like Easton, I regretted it so much. I'm
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: like disgusted.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: And that's for me mentally, I don't think I could
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: get by it because that would eat me alive. Even
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: if it was she didn't, Yeah, it would eat me alive.
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: So I have to dismiss myself from it. Yeah, so I.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Think you can. For me, you can be a best
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: friend with opposite sex. But I think there's a line
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: that I have, and it's not having a past with
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: that best friend.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: And that's about you know about yourself. That's great to
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: have for you.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: It is.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: I do feel that Eli may have a different opinion,
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: but do you or do you not? Eli?
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: My best friend is a girl. You guys all know her.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: Yes, she's great.
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: Her name is Jill. Shout out Jill. And so I
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: think I have lots of female friends, and I think
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: it is so super normal and totally healthy to have
• 23:19
  Speaker 4: female friends. I know that that's hard to be. Like
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: I meet people when I tell them I'm friends with
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: the girls, and they're like bullshit, like that you want
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: to fuck them or they want to fuck you, and
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: like that can happen for sure. But I think it's
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: totally reasonable to have good friends that are women.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: That's fine with me.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: Have I want my girlfriend to have many of guy friends,
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: not a guy best friend, sure in my opinion.
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: And that's just me and the insecurity thing of having
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: your girlfriend with the best friend that she's at sex with, Like,
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: that's valid.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: That's that's my that's my line, and that is.
• 23:51
  Speaker 4: Like a lot of times people ask me like, so me,
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: I'm this, We'll skip okay.
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: So it is valid that people get you know, insecure
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: about that for sure. But that's good to know like,
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: that's your boundary, and you could also be like, well
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: that's my boundary. Not everyone has to have that.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's fine. You can still have that as
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: a best friend. I'm not going to take your best friend.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: I'm going to dismiss myself from this situation, right.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: Can I ask you Eli before we ask you Calvin
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: the same question? Has there ever been in the years
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: of you being friend? Because I'm someone who is very
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: much has been best friends with guys I mean jiu
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: jitsu for crying out loud like and I also am
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: currently I feel best friends with Kyle, and I hope
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: it stays that way. So have you ever been able
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: to and obviously we don't need to be specific hook
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: up with just like fun hookups with your girlfriends and
• 24:46
  Speaker 2: then be like, Okay, that was fun and carry on
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: as friends.
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: What I don't do that?
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: I very much like when I meet someone, they're either
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: in a friendship bucket or a romantic bucket. And people
• 24:56
  Speaker 4: that go into the romantic bucket they can easily after
• 24:59
  Speaker 4: that that's done become friends again. But when I've placed
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: them into the friendship bucket, they don't then go to
• 25:06
  Speaker 4: a romantic bucket and like, I'm not someone that like
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: I need like an immediate attraction. I need like immediately
• 25:11
  Speaker 4: be like I'm into you, and so like once we're
• 25:14
  Speaker 4: friends for me. And I know most people won't want
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: to hear this, but like, I don't unfriend zone people
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: into a romantic situation.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Oh okay, so like I feel like I do. Oh
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: my god, I do in that freak.
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: College Yeah, but I yeah, but your mine, I'm possessive.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: I think it's easier, like one one at a time,
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: one at a time, please too.
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: I think it's easier for women to grow and gain
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: affection towards a male friend than it is for me
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: to all of a sudden see a friend and be like,
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: you know what.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: Actually really, but I can't hook up with a girl
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: and then know she's hooking up with other guys and
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: still hook.
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: Up with her.
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: A lot of I think that's I'm like, yeah, that's yeah, well.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: See Eli or Calvin Chicken has had no your friend.
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: And I.
• 26:03
  Speaker 5: Think that it can't. I think there's a couple factors here.
• 26:08
  Speaker 5: I think that if it's like a long term friendship
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: from childhood, like almost brothers sister, right, and you know,
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: nothing's ever happened, and they're just buddy buddy, and I
• 26:19
  Speaker 5: know the question was talking about being married and stuff
• 26:21
  Speaker 5: like that. Absolutely, I think they can be really really
• 26:24
  Speaker 5: close friends. If I would probably be in the vein
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: of Easton if there has been something in the past
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: they suck together or something like that. No matter what
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: the circumstances, it is harder for me to get behind that.
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: And what they did isn't wrong, like that's not yeah,
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: Like that's fine.
• 26:39
  Speaker 5: Especially if you weren't even in the picture or something
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: like that. But I can't get by yeah, And that's
• 26:44
  Speaker 5: something I think that kind of what Eli's talking about
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: is regardless moving forward in those relationships, there needs to
• 26:52
  Speaker 5: be firm boundaries set of like, hey, we're friends. And
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: I think that if it's like if Eli's single, it
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: doesn't really matter too much if he does have a
• 27:01
  Speaker 5: girl best friend or not. But if he gets into
• 27:03
  Speaker 5: a relationship with a girl, then in my opinion, that
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: relationship would need to be not reassessed but readjusted and say,
• 27:16
  Speaker 5: you know, if I'm dating someone, then I'm going to
• 27:18
  Speaker 5: be that main person or that priority in their life.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: If that makes sense, one hundred percent supersede the friendship
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: for sure.
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: I'd like to add that I'm very aware that male
• 27:26
  Speaker 4: and female friendships can be problematic towards relationships, and I'm
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: very happy and grateful that my best friend that we
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: have never engaged in any type of romance or sexual intimacy,
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: because I already know that when I do get a
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: girlfriend who turned into a wife one day, like, that's
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: already going to be a pain point. The fact that
• 27:41
  Speaker 4: my best friend's a girl, Like I know that I'm
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: aware of that, and so being able to like look
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: at my girl and say, like, we've never slept slept together,
• 27:49
  Speaker 4: like that's fucking huge, huge, And it would be a
• 27:52
  Speaker 4: much more difficult pill to swallow for her if I
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: was like, oh, yeah her, Yeah, we used to speak.
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, best friends.
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: Right right? What else we got you, guys? This is
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: a good one again. Same opinion on porn, how it's
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: affecting the modern men's sex life.
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: I feel like it's.
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Ruining the girls are watching the porn, and it's ruining
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: it for I can't give what you're looking at in porn.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, we're watching it. I just need to get off.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: It's not like I'm expecting you guys to go ape
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: shit in the bedroom.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: So, but you guys are the fucking ones ruining it
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: for us. You got fucking fifteen inch dildos, you got.
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know, dudes with eight packs, twelve packs, and
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: I'm over here like I just look good, but.
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I ain't packing that. So the women are ruining it.
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: So you think women are watching porn and expecting you
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: to look and perform like these male actors, I don't, yes, actors, yes,
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: and you got it like that? Okay, I okay, So
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: you you don't expect when you're with a woman in
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: the bedroom some sort of performance, or you haven't watched
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: porn and then hooked up with a woman and she.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: Is your body and it doesn't need to be great.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: I'm just happy to be there, Okay, Okay, I'm just
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: happy to be there.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: Do you think have you ever been with a woman
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: that you were like, oh, she's very much faking this enthusiasm,
• 29:19
  Speaker 2: whether or not, it's.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Pretty sure every time. Yeah, there's no way I'm bottoming out.
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: We all know.
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, he's say, I know.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: But thank you for letting me be a part of
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: of your body of the bed. Yeah, okay, part of
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: the party, you too.
• 29:36
  Speaker 4: I think the accessibility to porn, combined with the ability
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: for a younger generation to be on dating apps and
• 29:43
  Speaker 4: stay away from actual interactions with human women in real life,
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: has probably had a bad effect on allowing kids growing
• 29:52
  Speaker 4: up to be like just to not know what's real
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: and to know what's fake. Just like to not have
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: these physical and like real interactions and intimate relationship with women,
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: for sure, is going to hold people to not really
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: understand how to deal with these irl interactions. I think
• 30:06
  Speaker 4: porn as well as like, I think the younger generation
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: just with all like the Andrew taits and these like streamers,
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: sneak o and all these people that like talk poorly
• 30:15
  Speaker 4: about women, have almost as bad of an effect on
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: their mindset as the actual literal porn, which has been
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: around like forever, Like you know, finding playboys in your dad.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: I know, I was finding playboys in my dad's closet
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: and on huh, good, look at them, drop them and leave,
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: you know, nice? Nice, But if they really they really
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: do they listen to these people and they like start
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: emulating how they were speaking about women too.
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: And like all like calling women's sluts and for just
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: like like body count conversations is so stupid and toxic.
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: But like the youth like grow up on this. Like
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: I feel bad for women that need to date these
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: younger kids, right, the younger generation who have to date
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: these boys who like don't really understand life. You know,
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: all they see is just be like she's had sex
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: three people? No, right, It's like I'd prefer experienced woman.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: You know, it's free.
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: I don't think sex is bad. I'm just gonna say
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: we'll dive into that a little bit.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: It's like you've read the questions.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: Bad sex bad? Okay, great? Is there has there ever
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: been Have you ever found yourself in a time in
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: life where it's been like you have been maybe consuming
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: porn and then you like maybe at the beginning of
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: having sex, and then you start to experience women and
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: you're like, oh, it's not necessarily like what I've been
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: watching or no, do you have a good relationship with that?
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: Not me personally again, I think I'm a little older,
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: but like I haven't watched porn in maybe five months
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: or so at this point, potentially because I was in
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: this relationship or a situationship whatever you want to call
• 31:50
  Speaker 4: in which just wasn't really necessary a very healthy sex life.
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: And like the other day, I was like, am I
• 31:55
  Speaker 4: gonna have to start there?
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: You are?
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Let you know you're gonna be watching portant buddy. Yeah,
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: you ready to get the fingers type? And I want
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: you it's been a week for me. Families in town.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: You gotta I want you to answer. Calvin and I
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: have a follow up question on.
• 32:11
  Speaker 5: Porn, Okay, I I would definitely say that I feel
• 32:17
  Speaker 5: that porn has had a negative impact on just the
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: stigma around sex as it is, especially in a Western,
• 32:27
  Speaker 5: a Western civilization, sex is something that is not openly
• 32:31
  Speaker 5: talked about as much as like European countries or stuff
• 32:35
  Speaker 5: like that, and so people go to the Internet to
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: try and find especially when you're younger, trying to find
• 32:41
  Speaker 5: some answers or something, Yeah, some answers of what this is.
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: And then a lot of times.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: Like you know, saying it it.
• 32:48
  Speaker 5: It affects the confidence of an individual to have meaningful
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: intimate interactions, whether it's having a conversation with a girl
• 32:58
  Speaker 5: or just you know, being in in the bedroom. And
• 33:01
  Speaker 5: I think that it definitely you look at it from
• 33:03
  Speaker 5: a scientific standpoint, the dopamine and all the different negative
• 33:07
  Speaker 5: effects that it has on our brain is definitely damaging.
• 33:12
  Speaker 5: And so I think even to his point of, you know,
• 33:16
  Speaker 5: it's been five months, I think that especially when you
• 33:19
  Speaker 5: are in a healthy relationship, that that hopefully would not
• 33:23
  Speaker 5: be present the same time, I'm not here to tell
• 33:26
  Speaker 5: someone do or don't watch porn or what you want
• 33:29
  Speaker 5: to do in between your you know yourselves, but I
• 33:32
  Speaker 5: do think that that should be something that should be
• 33:35
  Speaker 5: openly talked about in a relationship.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Good. I think as a woman, we a lot
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: of us women just because I've had these conversations with
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: my friends, have watched it, especially when we first had sex,
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: and we're like, how is it supposed to look? And
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: it's it's almost been like, oh, you're supposed to perform,
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: it's supposed to be this, and you're supposed to make
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: these noises. Once I finally and like late twenty started
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: getting in touch with my sexuality and like, okay, what
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: am I supposed to feel? What do I and really
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: not focusing on like performance and more like what do
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: I like? What is my partner like? Then you start
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: then it's way more enjoyable and it doesn't look like
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: I mean sometimes if you're having a wild night, it
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: can look like the porn.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: But like I read have did you ever watch it
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: with your partner? Like my ex and I used to
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: watch porn and be like all right, let's try.
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah I never turned out the same, but boy did
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: we give an effort.
• 34:28
  Speaker 4: What about like making your own porn and watching that
• 34:30
  Speaker 4: with a partner because.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: That's a good time, that's fun, which is well, it
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: will get it cam Cord. Yeah, so yeah, I think
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: that for me, I've said it on the podcast before.
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not a big fan of porn only
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: because now being thirty three, I watch it and my
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: first thought is like, I hope that woman is doing
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: it out of choice and like she's happy, and if
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: she makes just like one out of it, yeah, like
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: one sad. Look, I'm like, oh, someone needs.
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: To get I know.
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: Sometimes yeah, so I'm watching porn.
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: Sometimes you just like.
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: A house in the valley. I don't know, I can't
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: really tell where it is.
• 35:15
  Speaker 5: Last last thing I will say about that, I do
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: feel that now more than ever, it definitely has the industry.
• 35:23
  Speaker 5: The sex industry has definitely allowed individuals that do want
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: to participate a more a safer place to do that
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: and to you know, whether it's through only fans or
• 35:35
  Speaker 5: whether it's through I'm not shouting out any you know,
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: sites or anything, but like to be able to do
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: your own content and do stuff within your own comfort
• 35:43
  Speaker 5: and like to your point of, well, I hope she's
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: all right and she's not doing this out of you know, Oh,
• 35:48
  Speaker 5: I have to like it allows them that ability to
• 35:51
  Speaker 5: do it on their own.
• 35:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's a great point. Okay, the good one.
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: What are your ex when dating a woman or let's say,
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: when dating or looking at a potential partner meetings?
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: An it for me is like somebody who is trying
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: to be like too much, Like you're loud, you try
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: to insert yourself in conversations all the time. Like I
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: like a quiet, confident woman. So my ach is like
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: just like a very loud girl.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: That's right, Women, shut up, you don't deserve to be speaking.
• 36:31
  Speaker 3: You don't just kidding, thank you, you got it. I
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: feel like just that's it.
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: Just like that's for men too, Like I just don't
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: like loud, but like that's just my IgG But like
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: for me, like that, I just like.
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: Confidence and confidence walks silent.
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: I get what you're saying, like the one the obnoxious
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: A little.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Like an obnoxious quirky if you want to put it
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: that way, Like I that's my itch is a quirky personality.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: Do you say quirky? No?
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: I think is quirky quirky first quirky? Or you say
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: c O r k y q U A r k
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: y or q u R quirky quirky. I think we're
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: both words.
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: I say quirky like I'm a quirked up white boy.
• 37:15
  Speaker 3: You know. It's like I'm going off.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: Like one like video I saw and the kid is like,
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: he goes, I'm quirky and the dad goes shut up,
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: and that's you and I don't. I just I don't
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: like a quirky personality. It's an it for me, no
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: matter what gender you are. Yeah, but yeah, that's my
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: egg is quirky.
• 37:36
  Speaker 4: There you go, he hates some quirk.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: I got one.
• 37:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, hygiene, I feel like that should just be.
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: Hygiene is probably my number one.
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: Okay, And what do you.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: Do you mean all of it? Do you mean oral
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: oral hygiene?
• 37:53
  Speaker 6: No?
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: I got where you're going from. I I like, I
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: like a woman that spells takes care of it. Soft skin,
• 38:01
  Speaker 3: soft skin. I like a girl who takes an hour
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: routine for bad you like that. I like the one
• 38:05
  Speaker 3: going to bed with all the all the oil. Yeah,
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: because then sometimes.
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: If you don't look like a snail on your face
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: before bed, ladies, you're not doing it right right.
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: That was my favorite thing with my ex.
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: She just was in bed watching like a TV show
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: just with nighttime routine, just soaking.
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: Wet on her face. Just look like shell. Okay, very hygiene, yeah, okay,
• 38:28
  Speaker 2: that's number one. If bad hygiene, it's like a turn
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: off the ten.
• 38:32
  Speaker 5: It bread like breath, oh breath bo I'm just I
• 38:36
  Speaker 5: can't fourteen girl.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: With bad breath.
• 38:41
  Speaker 5: I have a very sensitive snaz. I have a bloodhound.
• 38:44
  Speaker 5: Can't do it.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, I love that. I'm Hygiene's number one for sure.
• 38:48
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I gotta go off on that as well.
• 38:50
  Speaker 4: Like my type is a girl that looks like she
• 38:51
  Speaker 4: smells good. We've talked about this, Like ideally I.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: Felt that I'm not kidding you, I've looked across and
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: seen a girl and I'm like, I know, she smells good.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: Wait, this is interesting. Looks like she smells looks like she.
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: Smells good, like looks like she's gonna I'm gonna walk
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: over and smell like candy. Maybe not candy, you know,
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: maybe a moment loral, maybe like a floral and nice
• 39:14
  Speaker 4: like spring mist spring miss.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: We're talking back and body.
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: Works, talking about the virus. I'm a simple guy, number
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: six on the rag. But like same thing, like hygien
• 39:25
  Speaker 4: anything also goes into just like taking care of yourself.
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: Like you know, we're all at the age they were
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: at right now, not old, just regular.
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, regular.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: You know we're young, we're young.
• 39:35
  Speaker 4: Young, yeah, but like I take care of myself, you know,
• 39:38
  Speaker 4: like I like general health and wellness and so like
• 39:41
  Speaker 4: I drink, I do drugs, I do everything. Not right now,
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: I'm taking a month off Congress for me.
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: Bro holds up.
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: He's like where the fucking snaps?
• 39:52
  Speaker 4: Like like I like someone that's like healthy takes care
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: of themselves, you know, like I've done the whole thing
• 39:56
  Speaker 4: where like my partner just want to like smoke weed
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: all day and just like order like pizza and chicken
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: nuggets and like we're off that, you know what I mean.
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: So like someone that like takes care of themselves. I
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: think hygiene goes in with that. I also, this is
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: just a personal pep beeve. I don't like the smell
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: of wine on somebody's skin, on their skin.
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: Like bathing like skin.
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: Like if you drink enough wine, like I can like
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: smell it through, you can your body.
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: Bottles are hanging out with three bottle VICKI people wine.
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: I don't know what it is. I don't know if
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: it's like how I've gotten to this point, but like
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: they're very specific. Itck And I'm not going to tell
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: everyone to stop chricken wine because everybody loves wines.
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: Don't drink too much around this man, don't chicken around me,
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: you know, stop hanging out.
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: It's like some natty orange wine. We're in La, you
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: know what I mean. It's some efferves and biodynamic, a
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: little crunchy little to it, you know what I mean,
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: pulling up a cho you know. But I don't know.
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: That's like a personal thing generally, just like taking care
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: of yourself is very important to me and to like
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: I think to Easton's point before, like you want a
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: woman to be your piece. You know, that's a very
• 41:01
  Speaker 4: cliche statement, but like when it comes to the whole,
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: like it's not like you're not looking for a quiet
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: woman who's no. Yeah, of course, but you're looking for
• 41:07
  Speaker 4: someone to find some like some comfort and to find
• 41:10
  Speaker 4: some peace and to be able to relax around them
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: and have not everything be a big deal or everything
• 41:15
  Speaker 4: be like a fighter stuff.
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah. No, thank you for saying that you got me.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: No you for clarifying mine at somebody would have taken it.
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: And also, just like good.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: Taste, bad taste, in style.
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: In style, in esthetic, in appearance. We've joked about this before,
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: but like, I hate when a like a girl's Instagram story,
• 41:35
  Speaker 4: as fucked up as that is, will turn me off
• 41:37
  Speaker 4: of her.
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: Really he's attracted to like an Instagram page.
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: I was like, I'm attracted to what's on the page.
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: I don't care what the page looks like.
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: I'm a very aesthetic visual person. I went to school
• 41:48
  Speaker 4: for like video photographer. I used to be a photographer,
• 41:50
  Speaker 4: and so like, art and design is very important in
• 41:53
  Speaker 4: my life, and so it would only make sense that
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: it's important in what I look for in a partner
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: that they have a similar eye. So like, if you
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: post Instagram story it's got some weird border around it,
• 42:02
  Speaker 4: Go bye, bit I'm out you like, Yeah, that's like
• 42:07
  Speaker 4: a zoom out, like a little twist.
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: He has no other line.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: But you better stop zooming out with that twist, ladies
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: and get eli.
• 42:17
  Speaker 4: You have a twist in the never.
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: Mind in the bedroom. Chee likes a little grabbing twists,
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: but not on the inter.
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: Not on the Instagram story?
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: Are you all three of you? You meet? Ten out
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: of ten? Woman looks pretend your single here, Calvin looks
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: personality ten out of ten. You go on her Instagram page,
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: It is all selfies on the main grid. How do
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: we feel?
• 42:37
  Speaker 4: Don't care at all?
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: Love it all selfies, no friends, no nothing.
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: You want to know what I look for? If I
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: if I go to like.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: Your Instagram page and I go to your tags photos,
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: then you have none.
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: That's when I know you're sketchy.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: Red flag, red flag for sure, because you don't whoever
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: has posted you. You don't like the way you look
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: in that post, so it's not on your page, but
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: you don't want anybody to see it.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: That team.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: So if I go to with girls page, yeah, and
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: I go to her tag photos and there's none, I
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: don't trust you.
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: Not only with what they're doing wrong.
• 43:08
  Speaker 7: It's how they're with, how they look at what they're doing,
• 43:11
  Speaker 7: where they out partying.
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: You know, they could tell.
• 43:13
  Speaker 7: You, oh, I'm at home doing whatever, chill oh, but
• 43:16
  Speaker 7: their friend tags them on Instagram.
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: They're out at there. You get you know, I don't know,
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: I like it, you don't care. I love his line
• 43:26
  Speaker 3: is Instagram? What are you talking about?
• 43:29
  Speaker 4: Confident?
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: Bad bitch on Instagram?
• 43:31
  Speaker 4: You got an Instagram full of pictures of you? That
• 43:33
  Speaker 4: means you like you. I love an ego. I love
• 43:35
  Speaker 4: self confidence.
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: That's but I love an ego with friends.
• 43:37
  Speaker 4: And like, we're also in an age where, like especially
• 43:39
  Speaker 4: in La, everyone kind of has a personal brand. So
• 43:41
  Speaker 4: if that tag photo doesn't fit in your personal brand
• 43:44
  Speaker 4: that you're working on, fuck it. Keep it off the page.
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I love the different brand.
• 43:48
  Speaker 4: How about you calls a woman?
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like, what do you feel? You go on the page.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: It's all selfies, every single one, not a single one
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: that's of a sunset or your friend.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: So I'm exposing myself.
• 44:00
  Speaker 5: I don't think I have on Yeah, well I but
• 44:04
  Speaker 5: that's also I mean there's reasons.
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: It's your portrait.
• 44:09
  Speaker 5: It's not like it has gone, it's it's undergone. Many
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: different stages stages, yes, and there was a point where
• 44:18
  Speaker 5: it was okay, you know, friends and this and that,
• 44:20
  Speaker 5: and then you know, it turned to more okay, strictly modeling,
• 44:24
  Speaker 5: and then you know, more reality TV and then now
• 44:26
  Speaker 5: like acting and so it's gone through these stages, and
• 44:29
  Speaker 5: especially when branding, I think that it's important to to
• 44:34
  Speaker 5: say does this line up with my brand?
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: And yeah?
• 44:37
  Speaker 5: I think that especially for me, is where I am like,
• 44:40
  Speaker 5: I love my stories and I can post on my stories.
• 44:43
  Speaker 5: I post my friends and all these different things on
• 44:45
  Speaker 5: my stories.
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: So I think that wouldn't.
• 44:48
  Speaker 5: Be as big of a red flag for me if
• 44:51
  Speaker 5: there was just selfies and just stuff of them. But
• 44:54
  Speaker 5: I'd definitely be interested in, you know, their stories, their
• 44:58
  Speaker 5: highlights and even talk to them like you.
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: I don't do that. Yeah, I don't know how this is.
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: You have a great grid. It is a lot of you, Calvin,
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: but it's not all of you. No, you have like
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: artsy like.
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: Oh that's true that you know some detailed shots.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: Detail shots people give you justin Bieber, I bet for looks.
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: Huh yeah, come on, are you joking this photo?
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: Let's see that's Beabs right.
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: In the trap. Bro. That really is.
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: I was like, why do you have Justin Bieber on
• 45:28
  Speaker 2: your grid?
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: Oh that's a huge believe.
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: Are you kidding? This is Bieber? Okay, anyway, go to
• 45:35
  Speaker 2: Calvin on the.
• 45:35
  Speaker 4: Path if you want to check out I'm looking for
• 45:38
  Speaker 4: I'm looking for Calvin and all my girls.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: You know, you're looking for a bit of Calvin and
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: all your bit of short hair. Committed man, he's not
• 45:47
  Speaker 2: open to a relationship, but you can go gaka. Okay, Okay,
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: this is a great one. And I love this one
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: because we talk about it all the time when laws
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: on here are men intimidated by a woman making more
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: than them, meaning more money? And how do you guys
• 46:04
  Speaker 2: each feel about I feel like.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: If it's no, I'm not intimidated unless she like keeps
• 46:11
  Speaker 1: fucking pinning it against me.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: Using it against you.
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, Like if you belittle me because of it,
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: then y'all I'll have a problem.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: But I don't have a problem with somebody making more
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: money than me, like my significant other, not at.
• 46:24
  Speaker 2: All, okay, And it's not going to make you feel
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: like lesser than threatened or she suggests like let's say
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: you guys have a kid, and she goes can you
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: I make the money? Can you stay home maybe and
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: be a state of dream?
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: What a fu dam that would.
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: Be just like but you got it, Like I need
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: food ready when I come home, Like this is me
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: just like a housewife, a house husband. Yeah you're down,
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: but then your passions, I don't know, I'm taking it
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: really far him No.
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: I mean no, honestly, I would.
• 46:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I wouldn't mind doing that because I would like,
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: I would do whatever the I had to do if
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: we had kids, school and every time, like in my
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: free time, I would try to find something that I
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: was passionate about to follow to make money.
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: And yeah, I wouldn't mind.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's great.
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: I would just try. I just would have to do
• 47:12
  Speaker 3: something for me. But I don't care.
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: I love this generation of men. But let's hear your answers,
• 47:18
  Speaker 2: because I feel like anyway, go ahead.
• 47:21
  Speaker 5: I think that especially when it comes to marriage or
• 47:24
  Speaker 5: in a relationship, it's like it's ours, like we're building
• 47:28
  Speaker 5: something together. It's an empire that we're building, and so
• 47:32
  Speaker 5: what needs to be done needs to be done. And
• 47:34
  Speaker 5: so it's like, yeah, hey, if you're having this run
• 47:37
  Speaker 5: of success and you're going off, you're going crazy, I'm
• 47:41
  Speaker 5: here for you. What do we need and let's boom
• 47:42
  Speaker 5: boom boom, and then it's I think this even outside
• 47:46
  Speaker 5: of just relationships, but like friendships, it's like, hey, you know,
• 47:49
  Speaker 5: if someone in your circle is winning, you're winning, and
• 47:53
  Speaker 5: so they're winning, they pull you up, you win, you
• 47:56
  Speaker 5: pull them up, and so you do what needs to
• 47:58
  Speaker 5: be done.
• 47:59
  Speaker 3: I do think it isn't.
• 48:00
  Speaker 5: Important, though, to not lose one's identity, is to have
• 48:03
  Speaker 5: those passions and to be able to say, hey, I
• 48:06
  Speaker 5: can do this for you one. These are the things
• 48:08
  Speaker 5: that are important to me that I want to continue
• 48:10
  Speaker 5: on while you are like a given to Yeah, while
• 48:15
  Speaker 5: you're while you're going off on all these things, I'm
• 48:17
  Speaker 5: here to support.
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: What do you need?
• 48:19
  Speaker 5: This is what I need and as long as you
• 48:21
  Speaker 5: communicate on that properly then.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: Because after Eli answers, I do, I want to ask
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: you the add on of it.
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, and that's not health baby, right, thank you, thank you, Eli.
• 48:33
  Speaker 4: Great question?
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: Is everybody I have to make more than her? No?
• 48:38
  Speaker 4: I mean model, So my type besides women that look
• 48:41
  Speaker 4: like they smell good, are women that are out of
• 48:43
  Speaker 4: my league. It just is what it is, and I
• 48:46
  Speaker 4: don't think that's worked out for me in the past.
• 48:47
  Speaker 4: But just like it is what.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: It is, Like you like chasing a girl that's like
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: got her shit together, chaotic.
• 48:53
  Speaker 4: But I like girls that are better than me and
• 48:56
  Speaker 4: so naturally, especially where we live in LA like they're
• 49:00
  Speaker 4: probably going to make more money than me potentially, Like
• 49:02
  Speaker 4: I don't struggle. I do fine. But thus if you're
• 49:04
  Speaker 4: out of mit, then you're really fucking crushing it, you
• 49:06
  Speaker 4: know what I mean, right, And so that is not
• 49:08
  Speaker 4: a turn off for me. I think you just need
• 49:10
  Speaker 4: transparency and communication because it could be a problem for them.
• 49:14
  Speaker 4: And like to pretend like I'm gonna like stunt and
• 49:17
  Speaker 4: like throw all this money around the first few dates
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: because I'm not gonna lie. I Also I like to spend.
• 49:22
  Speaker 4: I like I love, I blow a bag on a date.
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: He blows. I don't go on anything.
• 49:28
  Speaker 4: It means money by first Like we've talked about first
• 49:30
  Speaker 4: dates before and I'm always like I want to sit
• 49:32
  Speaker 4: across from your dinner and like it's going to cost
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: some money, and it costs money to date women.
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: I've got the jet and like going it costs money.
• 49:40
  Speaker 4: It costs money.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: It is what it is.
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: And we've talked about like dating apps and people being like, oh,
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: I'll never like buy a rose on hinge and I'm like,
• 49:47
  Speaker 4: fuck it, I'll buy a rose. It's cheaper than a drink.
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: You know what it costs money to date? Period?
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: What the hell is going on?
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: What do you mean Kyle just spent on roses? Please? King?
• 49:57
  Speaker 4: Absolute kid, no issue with that.
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: I've never had a dating app, so I don't know
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: what dating app a woman that, a woman that I'm
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: pursuing is worth more than two ninety nine on that
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: rose on hinge?
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: So like, who cared to nine?
• 50:11
  Speaker 4: What are you gonna do? But you walk up to her,
• 50:12
  Speaker 4: go to bar? You're gonna spend eighteen bucks in La
• 50:15
  Speaker 4: on a drink doing that?
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: Either.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: It's a great question, do you guys all?
• 50:18
  Speaker 3: I'd me in the corner.
• 50:19
  Speaker 4: Baby.
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: You go on a first date and she goes, oh
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: I'll pay for this, No, not have it.
• 50:24
  Speaker 4: I just can't even it just isn't. I'm not. My
• 50:26
  Speaker 4: body's not gonna allow that to happen, even on like
• 50:28
  Speaker 4: the second and third date when she's like, oh I
• 50:30
  Speaker 4: got it this time, and I'm like okay, cool, And
• 50:33
  Speaker 4: then the guy comes with the bill and I just
• 50:35
  Speaker 4: physically can't even if I'm like.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: Hold on, if a girl, If a girl offers to pay,
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: where's her head at?
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: What do you mean? Like?
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: Are you paying?
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: Like first date? You you know it's a date. You
• 50:46
  Speaker 2: said let's go first, to pay for me the first day,
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: and she goes, I got this one, but she's doing
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: the reach you have.
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: You have the opportunity, but like where why are you paying?
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: Because she's like, oh, you know like him?
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: If you if she pays for me, I feel like
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: I have to take her to another on another date.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, but she goes. You guys decided, like a girl.
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: Splits, isn't that the goals to take another date? If
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: I don't like her and get out? This one's on me, sweetheart?
• 51:12
  Speaker 4: Down the line, it's reasonable to be splitting. And at
• 51:15
  Speaker 4: some point, you know, show by offers.
• 51:17
  Speaker 3: If a girl offers to split, I won't make her pay.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: If a girl doesn't offer to split, make her you're
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: gonna sit there in silence and right on the.
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: First date though first date, I'm talking first date.
• 51:29
  Speaker 4: What I'm paying the point of money I'm paying because
• 51:33
  Speaker 4: I'm usually the one asking.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: If a girl asked me to go out I'd like
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: for her to offer to pay.
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: For me, okay, for the first but are you going
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: to allow it? Okay? She goes to do the reach.
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: You go no, no, no, I got this.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: No, I want to be asked or I want her
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: to offer to pay. Yeah, if she asked me out,
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: but I won't allow it.
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 51:51
  Speaker 4: It's a gesture.
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: It's a gesture. It's like when you get cut off
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: in traffic and they give you a wave. You're good.
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: No, yeah, I'm a pro at the gester girl. Oh,
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: I got it?
• 51:59
  Speaker 4: A gesture?
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: All right, George Costanza, I got one here for you guys.
• 52:04
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna switch us up.
• 52:05
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 52:05
  Speaker 7: First date, she offers to pay, and you know you're
• 52:08
  Speaker 7: not gonna go on another day with her.
• 52:10
  Speaker 3: No, I'm paying for her because then I'm not an answer.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: That's a good question.
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: Wait, wait, wait, say it again, say it again.
• 52:15
  Speaker 7: All right, first date she offers to pay, but you
• 52:18
  Speaker 7: already know the date's not going well, you're not gonna
• 52:20
  Speaker 7: go on a second with this person?
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: And it is.
• 52:24
  Speaker 3: Oh, if we're at Craigs, I'm like, sweetheart, Yes.
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: Four hundred dollars, we'll go to split it.
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: No, if I'm not doing it, and then I'd probably
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: say I'm gonna do something really special for you, and
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: that special thing is I'm gonna way out of here again.
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: Casper the Friendly Ghost isn't so hold on.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: And she's into it. She thinks she's gonna see you. Guy.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: You know you're gonna text her and say you're not
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: the vibe. You're gonna let her pay.
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: I need to get the better I really am.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: I'm Casper the Friendly Ghost. We're getting better at it.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to make some amends for sure her.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, you guys.
• 53:04
  Speaker 3: Though I don't get better everybody, I'll get better.
• 53:07
  Speaker 4: I do generally think the point of money is to
• 53:09
  Speaker 4: spend it on beautiful women. I've said that in the past,
• 53:11
  Speaker 4: and just like, like like money that I spend on dating,
• 53:16
  Speaker 4: I don't even put in my fucking budget, Like that's
• 53:18
  Speaker 4: just like that's just come. That's just extra money, like
• 53:21
  Speaker 4: I hope I have it, but like I don't even
• 53:23
  Speaker 4: factor that into what I'm spending throughout the week.
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: Your d are about to be blowing up.
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: I know it's I'm gonna get a meal and not
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: even have to lay them.
• 53:31
  Speaker 4: That's the cost of life. You know what it is?
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: Cost of life? Hell yeah, hell yeah.
• 53:37
  Speaker 4: If she offers to pay and I'm not gonna see
• 53:39
  Speaker 4: her again, I probably still can't even do it because
• 53:40
  Speaker 4: she's gonna tell her friends. And I'm a broke motherfucker.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: I can't have it.
• 53:42
  Speaker 4: Mad At it's too small for that. Don't have anyone.
• 53:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah no, I'd say no, and then I'd say I'm
• 53:49
  Speaker 3: gonna go to the restroom. When I cast for out there,
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: you reach, you reach for your person.
• 53:55
  Speaker 7: I can see Easton just going up paying the bill
• 53:57
  Speaker 7: and then just walking out the door.
• 53:59
  Speaker 3: Jokes. Is a good guy. That's cool?
• 54:02
  Speaker 4: Hey the bill from a distance, And.
• 54:03
  Speaker 3: Maybe I'm not. I don't know. I'm a good guy
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: in my eyes. You need to get better.
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: You're the best guy.
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: They've just talk to me. I do need to get better.
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: And not like ghosting women.
• 54:12
  Speaker 4: Well, the thing is, is it what is considered ghosting?
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: Just not co responding? Ever, But if you're.
• 54:19
  Speaker 4: Talking to someone on a dating app you never met,
• 54:21
  Speaker 4: conversation fizzles out, did you ghost that person?
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: Depends on, in my opinion, how long a conversation. If
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: you guys have been talking every day for two weeks
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: and then all of a sudden you disappear, I'd say, oh,
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: poor man has passed away.
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because that's the only reason I'm dead to many
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: a women. Then hit by carstro I'm dead many a
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: women two weeks.
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: Every day you're checking it.
• 54:43
  Speaker 4: I wouldn't even let it get to that point, though,
• 54:44
  Speaker 4: if we're not.
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: Using the Calvin's disgusted face.
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: If I am going to get better at it in
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: Duke Tom, but I am not good at it now,
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna get better at it step by step, not ghosting. Yeah,
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: but sometimes I get I don't know, yeah, you know
• 55:01
  Speaker 1: you like.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: What were you saying about the app? You wouldn't let
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: it get to that.
• 55:03
  Speaker 4: Why I don't do like pen pals on dating apps.
• 55:06
  Speaker 4: So like I'm actually not on dating apps right now
• 55:08
  Speaker 4: at all. Which is.
• 55:11
  Speaker 3: I got a question. Is it bad to just have
• 55:14
  Speaker 3: like a booty call?
• 55:16
  Speaker 4: Yes?
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: Yes, Well here's here's what I'll say.
• 55:19
  Speaker 5: And this kind of encompasses everything in all of this,
• 55:22
  Speaker 5: even the question about the who's paying. If you know
• 55:25
  Speaker 5: you're not gonna like all this can be solved with communication,
• 55:29
  Speaker 5: if you can just say, hey, listen, here, listen, I
• 55:34
  Speaker 5: like this, but it's a great restaurant. You know, like
• 55:37
  Speaker 5: I really don't. I'm not feeling this. You know, you're
• 55:40
  Speaker 5: a great person. I think it's best if we go
• 55:42
  Speaker 5: our separate ways. I'll pay, you can pay, We're gonna
• 55:46
  Speaker 5: split whatever. But like I want you to know, regardless
• 55:49
  Speaker 5: that the expectations going away from this, I don't want
• 55:51
  Speaker 5: to leave.
• 55:52
  Speaker 3: In the dark.
• 55:52
  Speaker 5: And sometimes it does take a couple of days after
• 55:54
  Speaker 5: for you to be like, huh, like, let me sit
• 55:56
  Speaker 5: with this. But I mean, we all if we're trusting
• 55:58
  Speaker 5: your intuition.
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: But here's why I kidding.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: Guys, Calvin is taken. Do not blow up here.
• 56:04
  Speaker 3: That's why he's taken though, because of these things.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: But how I look at it is like if I
• 56:09
  Speaker 1: was talking to a girl for like three months and
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: she just stopped responding, I'd be like, all right, really
• 56:15
  Speaker 1: and then I just forget.
• 56:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So then I'd do it. I feel like, because
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: if you do it to me, I don't care. So
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: I feel like I do it to people because I
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: feel like everybody doesn't care. But people do care. So
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: you can ghost me too.
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: Well, they wonder what they did wrong? Did I say
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: something wrong?
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: For me?
• 56:31
  Speaker 2: If you ghost me, which is never happened me. I go, oh, oh,
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: he just realized he has terrible taste. I don't want
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: anything to do with him anyway, But.
• 56:44
  Speaker 1: That se fix your thing, because nobody did anything. I
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: just found out that I need to just not talk
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: to you for a while.
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, mental health reasons, but that's good.
• 56:54
  Speaker 4: I mean your thing about the taste thing. Like I
• 56:56
  Speaker 4: think everyone in this room, I think maybe is blessed
• 56:58
  Speaker 4: to have very high self confidence and whatnot. So like,
• 57:02
  Speaker 4: I like a girl with good taste, and so like,
• 57:03
  Speaker 4: if you like me, good shit, ye I love that.
• 57:07
  Speaker 4: And that gets into your question. Another question I've seen
• 57:10
  Speaker 4: come up of like sex on the first date, right,
• 57:11
  Speaker 4: like is that a deal breaker?
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: That's a good question.
• 57:14
  Speaker 4: I don't necessarily tie sex to morality or ethics at
• 57:17
  Speaker 4: any point. So like, if I'm on a first date
• 57:19
  Speaker 4: and a girl and have sex with me, it's not
• 57:21
  Speaker 4: a bad thing.
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: Well you say no though, if you're not if you're
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: into her, but you think, is there ever a time
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: where you're like, she won't respect me?
• 57:30
  Speaker 4: I could say that the longest relationships I've had in
• 57:33
  Speaker 4: the past ten years have been first night sex situation. Really,
• 57:37
  Speaker 4: and it doesn't change at all how I feel about
• 57:40
  Speaker 4: that person. If anything, I'm like, I am cool and
• 57:42
  Speaker 4: you see that. So one good taste. Sorry to sound
• 57:44
  Speaker 4: like an argon asshole there, but two like it also
• 57:46
  Speaker 4: gets that out of the way. So then like, if
• 57:48
  Speaker 4: we know that, if we are moving forward, it's not
• 57:50
  Speaker 4: just based on lust and I'm not just now just
• 57:53
  Speaker 4: like playing a role to get to the sex part.
• 57:56
  Speaker 4: Like we've had sex already and we're still hanging out.
• 58:00
  Speaker 4: Have sex in the first week.
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: First week, first week, not date, So.
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: You're maybe I had so many times, We're going to
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: see her that week, nothing wrong with having second Why
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: wait some month and then have sex with him and
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: be like.
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: That was terrible?
• 58:12
  Speaker 5: Well, I also think that the second that the physical
• 58:17
  Speaker 5: is brought into the relationship, it is harder for the
• 58:20
  Speaker 5: emotional and that connection to continue to form because it's
• 58:24
  Speaker 5: like we're such carnal creatures.
• 58:25
  Speaker 3: So it's like boom boom. I'm not saying it's right
• 58:27
  Speaker 3: or wrong for me.
• 58:29
  Speaker 5: I would prefer at least the first couple of dates
• 58:31
  Speaker 5: or the first, you know, a couple of weeks of like, hey,
• 58:35
  Speaker 5: let me really get to know who you are, and
• 58:37
  Speaker 5: you know, maybe we.
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: Do, maybe we don't but some blue balls for the week.
• 58:41
  Speaker 5: I'm not throwing it out the first the first date
• 58:44
  Speaker 5: generally swinging, would I know, swinging the old bat of me.
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: That's great. No, that's great. Two each is.
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: Out, so Calvin week or two Eli first night.
• 58:56
  Speaker 4: But like I'm also I'm not going to be mad
• 58:58
  Speaker 4: at going sex the first night. You know, that's totally fine.
• 59:07
  Speaker 4: I'm a bad guy.
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: We know, okay really quick because it's so good as dudes.
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: How do you guys support each other's mental health to
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: make sure.
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: You're okay, just being there for homies and not just listening,
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: not being an asshole like I said, Like, it's how people.
• 59:25
  Speaker 3: React to your emotion. So when they get emotional, I become.
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: You know, docile for them because I'm gonna take it
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: all in. So I got homies that listen, that take
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: on the energy that I'm giving so they can give
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: the same type of response. So my homies are close.
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: I've cried to them, They've cried to me. So I
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: just keep homies that I can be honest with and
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: emotional with. From that, I get bye, Yeah.
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: People, you can trust you guys.
• 59:54
  Speaker 4: Just checking in with the homies. Really, I mean I
• 59:56
  Speaker 4: could do a better job for sure of opening up
• 59:58
  Speaker 4: to my friends. I'm pretty guarded. I would say.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 5: I think it's important not only to just ask your friends, hey,
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 5: are you okay, because you're gonna get the good oh yeah,
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 5: I'm good, but to take that initiative and say, like, hey,
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 5: what's going on in your life? And you know, get
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 5: get underneath it, because a lot of times it is,
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 5: even even with our best friends, it's such a ah
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 5: yeah I'm good man, I'm chilling.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 3: But like I mean, just go deeper, go deeper and
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: keep asking.
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's really great. I love you, guys.
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 2: I thank you so much. I'm gonna let Easton close
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: us out, but thank you guys for doing this.
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: Boys, is there anywhere that these people can find you?
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 4: You can hit me up on. I g I'm not
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 4: popping by any means, but and what is that? I
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 4: g underscore Eli Benjamin, but let's make me popping.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: We'll tag you, Calvin.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 5: I know I pluged yours, but yes, my Instagram is
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 5: at Calvin on the cob.
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 3: Hey you there, you're there.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you so much, and thank you for
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: giving up no, and thank you for listening to the
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: Give Them Lola podcast.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: This episode will be out on Wednesday.
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: Video is out on Friday, and so make sure you
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: check that out, like comment, subscribe on.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 3: It, hit that belt so you notified.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 4: Bye Fe.