Latest / Drinkin‘ Bros Podcast / Episode 1528 - Former Navy SEAL Rick Andstrom

Transcript

Episode 1528 - Former Navy SEAL Rick Andstrom · Drinkin‘ Bros Podcast

• 0:03
  [SPEAKER_02]: Welcome to Drinking Throw, presented by OmahaStaste.com.
• 0:11
  [SPEAKER_02]: Sit back, relax, and have a fucking trick.
• 0:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, welcome to Drinking Throw's kids.
• 0:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: Welcome to the Friday morning and dish here.
• 0:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm gonna be honest with you.
• 0:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm going through it.
• 0:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's got up early this morning.
• 0:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: Anthony was up.
• 0:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: Hulk Hogan just passed away.
• 0:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: He's up there with Toby Keith.
• 0:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: in heaven, and macho man, and Ozzy Osborn and everybody else, I'm not gonna apologize for ripping my shirt off yesterday.
• 0:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: All right, I'm not gonna do it.
• 0:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's what role real emotion is, and that's what you get when you tune in, day in and day out to this podcast.
• 0:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then occasionally, you'll get a guest who's, well, let's face it weaker than a man like Hulk Hogan, and he's here today.
• 1:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: Dantra here to we got.
• 1:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: We have a foreign-day-be-seal Rick.
• 1:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: The last name we're adopted, usually the last name.
• 1:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, it's my anastrum.
• 1:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: Anastrum.
• 1:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, didn't know Rick.
• 1:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I didn't want to say it.
• 1:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: So if I were to say it, say it.
• 1:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: The internet will blow up.
• 1:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Say it one more time, Dan.
• 1:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: Rick Anastrum, A-N-D-S-T-R-O-M.
• 1:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you.
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Thank you.
• 1:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Who are you texting?
• 1:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: What the fuck are you texting?
• 1:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: We're going to show today for Christ.
• 1:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: He's taking off your texting right now.
• 1:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, we were both on time, so shut the fuck up.
• 1:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: I was the one time as well.
• 1:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: You've never been on time in the history of the show.
• 1:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: He's a dude, easily.
• 1:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: Blast notes have read aloud.
• 1:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: Who are you texting right now?
• 1:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm looking for a mutual friend of ours, actually.
• 1:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: We'll get into some of it, but I don't think we could talk to and depth about what was going on over there.
• 1:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: So we're going to talk about a lot of shit today.
• 1:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: Ukraine, giant little bit.
• 1:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: We'll talk about psychedelics, and then we'll talk about the Navy a little bit.
• 2:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: Sure, right.
• 2:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: So let's start with being in a Navy SEAL.
• 2:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm always fascinating.
• 2:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: So it's one of those jobs where every kid talks about it.
• 2:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: There's a handful in this life where it's like, I want to be a cop.
• 2:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: I want to be a firefighter.
• 2:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: I want to be a Navy SEAL.
• 2:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: I want to be a professional baseball player, basketball player football player.
• 2:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's kind of as big as kids dreams go.
• 2:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: You don't really sit there in high school saying, God, you know what I'd love to be?
• 2:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: middle management at Staples, you know, at Office Depot.
• 2:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'd love to do that for the rest of my life.
• 2:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: That you, unfortunately, or fortunately, depending upon how you look at it, have one of those cool guy jobs that everybody's always wanted to do their entire life.
• 2:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: And is the high worth it?
• 2:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: Absolutely.
• 2:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: Is it?
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, fuck yeah.
• 2:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's, we, God damn, I wouldn't change the fucking thing at all about it.
• 2:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: And ironically, when I first started, when I grew up, nobody knew what Navy Seals were back then.
• 2:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: Rambo had just come out and I fucking did martial arts growing up and thought ninja ninja shit was cool and it sounds like fuck how can I be a real-life ninja and so I was gonna be a greenbrake all through high school and then a buddy mine He's a couple of years older joined the Navy came back.
• 3:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's like dude.
• 3:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: You had to fucking be an AV seal and I had to go back to the
• 3:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, went to the high school library on micro-fish and looked up a couple of old school articles on Vietnam and I was like, you know, went to the recruiter and that's where the kind of the world started.
• 3:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: Was it mostly about Jesse Ventura?
• 3:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: Back then, I had no, not at all.
• 3:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, yeah, I mean, who was it?
• 3:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: Who was the guy back then?
• 3:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: Fuck, yeah.
• 3:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: There wasn't anybody back when I joined, there wasn't anybody back then.
• 3:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: You'll Dick Marchenko came out with books afterwards.
• 3:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: The movie Navy Seals came out afterwards.
• 3:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: Well, a lot of people say that movie, actually.
• 3:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: I know it sounds weird, but a lot of we've had a ton of Navy Seals on in the past, former Navy Seals, and they say that movie.
• 3:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then little by little as the years tick away, then they've got their heroes, like a Marcus LaTrelle, or whoever this, right?
• 4:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: You need a job that is visible and cool enough that people actually want to do it.
• 4:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 4:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: And that's certainly one of those jobs.
• 4:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: Now, when you got there and actually went through Buds and everything else, is it as difficult as they say it is?
• 4:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: We're just like holy shit I'm gonna die.
• 4:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: Well, here's the interesting part.
• 4:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: It took me ten years to make it through Buds.
• 4:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
• 4:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I believe, I mean, I talked a lot about mental toughness and how I've had to develop that.
• 4:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 4:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: But it started out early on.
• 4:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's back in nineteen eighty eight.
• 4:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, back when we were still in the
• 4:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: the Cold War with the Soviet Union.
• 4:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I went through Buds, fucking had all the things, you know, stress fractures, all the things that most people go through.
• 4:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I was just, I didn't have the mental toughness to understand at that time.
• 4:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: I didn't, I never rang the bell, but I fucking got medically washed out a couple times.
• 4:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Looking in hindsight, I, hundred percent, rang a bell, but not, you know, figuratively, I did.
• 4:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: In your minds.
• 4:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 4:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, mentally.
• 4:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: Absolutely.
• 4:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: Absolutely, I quit.
• 4:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: And so it took me a couple more times.
• 4:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: And finally, the only thing that happened between my second and third time is,
• 5:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: I found this book, and again, this is before the internet.
• 5:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: Sure, I found this book is a Dallas book on dancing body, or dancing mind thinking body, a Dallas way to succeed in sports, business, all these things.
• 5:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: So for nine months, it wasn't just a book you read, it was a book with drills in it.
• 5:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: And so it was Meditations, Visualizations, Affirmations about all sorts of scenarios.
• 5:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: And when I went back to buzz, just having that being able to chunk, you know, a lot of people talk about the way to make it through for our concealed training is to chunk.
• 5:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: This evolution is all I have to think about.
• 5:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: making it to the next meal.
• 5:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: Those types of things, right?
• 5:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: And that's what changed it.
• 5:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm not saying buzz is easy.
• 5:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: It was fucking brutal, but it was a lot more tolerable and I didn't think about quitting because I was able to chunk those things and not look at the entirety of everything.
• 5:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: So it was a pretty big deal, you know?
• 5:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: Is that the equivalent of like being in the minors for ten leagues and then our ten years and then finally making it to the major leagues?
• 5:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I mean, fucking trying for ten years was a mental, a mental fuck.
• 5:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, I mean, a lot of guys.
• 6:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: I can't imagine, is it every single year?
• 6:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: No, no, I just went three times.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
• 6:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, but finally, graduate in nineteen ninety eight.
• 6:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: And what were you doing in the meantime?
• 6:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: How's it going to fall somewhere?
• 6:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, well, so I got out of the Navy the first time, five and a half years, and they gave me the option to get out is a program back then that if you got, you know, mentally washed out of Buds, that you could get out of the military, are medically.
• 6:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: So I spent five and a half years trying to get back in.
• 6:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: They had changed the veteran policy to where I fell in the loophole.
• 6:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: I had to go back through basic training, had to go back through, I used to be an intelligent specialist, and it came back as a corpsman or a medic.
• 6:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then after I did make it the second time, I worked at a clinic in San Diego for a couple of years before I got to go back my third time.
• 6:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: Holy shit, yeah.
• 6:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: And what are you thinking throughout that ten years?
• 6:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, me personally, probably would have let the dream go at that point where, you know, if I hadn't gotten in after ten years, I would have imagined family, wife, somebody would have said something to your girlfriend of like, why do you keep putting yourself to the cell?
• 7:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I don't know, maybe I'm just a little fucked up, I guess.
• 7:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: But yeah, I mean, and I got lucky too.
• 7:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, it's people who are in the military will appreciate this.
• 7:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: There was a time a couple of years before my third time where
• 7:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was dating this girl and I walked in on her and my roommate we were all roommates at the time making out and I got to do a fight with this guy and I'd been in a lot of fights in my life and this particular one was nothing but fucking rage and
• 7:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: I fucked him up so bad in five punches that he went to the ICU for a month.
• 7:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: I went to Wallace in the Navy.
• 7:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: I went to jail for a month.
• 7:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: I spent six months in a halfway house and I spent a year on felony probation, right?
• 7:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Holy shit.
• 7:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: My command never set award to the Navy about it.
• 7:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: I had my commanding officer, the master chief, they went to my court dates with me, never fucking set award to the military.
• 7:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: And so if they would have, I would have been gone.
• 7:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: But so I really owe those guys, you know, my career that they believed in me for something.
• 8:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: And that's wild.
• 8:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, did the judge even consider like, hey dude, I'd walked into my girlfriend fucking cheating on me.
• 8:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: All right, here's another funny story.
• 8:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: So no, he was in California, right?
• 8:12
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 8:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I'll I'll I'll I'll
• 8:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: All of that stuff was not taken into account, but a few years before that, I told you I got into a lot of fights, and ironically another roommate of mine that I'm still friends with, and we got into a fist fight one time, and I didn't realize he pressed charges, right?
• 8:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: Against you?
• 8:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, and we were still roommates, right?
• 8:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: I popped him in the nose or whatever, and went and cooled off, and the cops came, I guess he pressed charges, or maybe they pressed charges for him or something.
• 8:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: But I got pulled over for running through a stop sign maybe less than a year later, and I went to jail.
• 8:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I was like, I can't damn do you really?
• 8:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, we're still roommates at the time.
• 8:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: But so they, somebody comes in while we're sitting in the holding cell and it's like, hey, does anybody want to apply for a,
• 8:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: personal or cognitive system on a PR bond basically get out without having to pay bail or any of that stuff.
• 9:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I was like, yeah, yeah, I'd like to do it.
• 9:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: And the guy was like, well, they really don't give it for violent offenders, but you go in front of the judge if you want.
• 9:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: Now this is in Texas.
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
• 9:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's in Houston.
• 9:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: And so I go in front of the judge and I told him the story and the judge goes, what?
• 9:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: You boys got into a fist fight, he pressed charges.
• 9:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: Well, hell yeah, I'll give you a PR bond.
• 9:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: That boy's a pussy.
• 9:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: No fucking way.
• 9:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: So that's the contrast of the, I think the kind of the states, you know, that I was a hundred percent.
• 9:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like California, forget about it.
• 9:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 9:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, it's usually said that I was like, oh, you're going to do a shit there.
• 9:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, yeah.
• 9:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, you're lucky they didn't give you gender reassignment surgery.
• 9:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that's probably not a pussy right now.
• 9:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: I do, but that's okay.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's a different story.
• 9:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, it's fine.
• 9:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: So it's backpack over there.
• 9:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, so you finally get in.
• 9:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's ninety-eight.
• 9:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yep.
• 9:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: How long you in for after that?
• 9:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: Twenty-eight hours and twenty years in the sealed teams.
• 9:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: So, where were you on nine eleven then?
• 9:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: I had just broken my neck and so I just had.
• 9:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: I want to miss you.
• 9:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm on a skydive coming through as I was going with through the army freefall.
• 9:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: Ironically no, it was going through eighteen delta.
• 10:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, a special force of medical program and we're doing a requalification jump and put us out over the woods and came in through the trees and just the way I landed hit there's a kind of a ditch and I just hit the side of my neck.
• 10:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: And what is it?
• 10:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: was that I was on a loose on that drop zone.
• 10:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, one of those back ones out back.
• 10:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that one's out back.
• 10:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and you're right for it.
• 10:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like there's all kinds of rebar and fucking trucks in the woods and shit like that that have been heavy dropped and just left there.
• 10:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I didn't hear anything like that, but yeah, it's a fucked out there.
• 10:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: I never jumped out one, luckily.
• 10:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: I never said a word, though.
• 10:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: On my neck was so fucked up.
• 10:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: And luckily, this is the beginning of eighteen Delta where we're doing labs and didactic shit.
• 10:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: And now tell if you heard my story took me ten years to make it through.
• 10:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I just made it through Buds and now I'm at eighteen delta and my neck is fucked up, right?
• 10:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I didn't say it word to anybody.
• 10:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: And luckily, it just kind of healed over the next month and a half to I just sat around all stiff neck and shit in the lead classes.
• 10:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: But a year later, I've been doing some lifting and
• 11:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: and had a lot of strength loss and I was like, what the fuck man, and I looked down on my entire right chest was gone.
• 11:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: And so when I went and did all the MRIs and X-rays, they're like, hey, when did you break your neck?
• 11:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm at a ninety-nine percent positive, that's what had happened.
• 11:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: But I don't know for sure.
• 11:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: So I think it's great.
• 11:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then, again, where are you on nine eleven then?
• 11:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then my house on, you know, wait, just in a neck brace.
• 11:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, everyone's called, you know, this was in September, and then I jumped back in with the platoon, and I think October, November.
• 11:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: We did our work up and then went over to Afghanistan and went to Bahrain to ship boarding for a few months in April and then spent the entire summer into the fall of, you know, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh
• 11:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: didn't augment with DevGrew in two thousand nine ten on a really cool program called the Omega program.
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Wow.
• 12:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: And that was a lot of fun.
• 12:07
  [SPEAKER_05]: What was that about?
• 12:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: It was a circuit program where the agency, as well as, damn that for DevGrew is using six.
• 12:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: They were running a circuit force that was on behalf of the US government.
• 12:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, they carried M-Forers and
• 12:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: All the same things we did, you know, wasn't like a bunch of dudes with man jammies in a AK-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-v-
• 12:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, but as that's going on because you were telling me before the show started that you you knew Bin Laden was in Toraboro and I'm kidding Yeah, he would have been and with and at two thousand one you were at one yep, yeah, they wouldn't have been brief and platoon guys finally that bullshit no, no, but it's a slight point and shoot at that point yeah back in those days
• 13:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: But at any point, did you know, like, hey dude, we've heard X, Y and Z over there and we're not doing shit about it?
• 13:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: Well, as far as we've been on.
• 13:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, no, I mean, I doing some intelligence work.
• 13:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: We got some a lot of reporting, you know, from folks and you had to take it seriously, but now I don't think we really.
• 13:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: No, be really new.
• 13:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay, gosh, yeah, as far as I know, you know.
• 13:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 13:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I was all over the form.
• 13:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: I've always wondered, we've heard that story we've talked about on the show a few times where, you know, whether or not we knew that he was in that range at that time and wanted it, you know, yeah, yeah, for sure.
• 13:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I don't know.
• 13:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, because I thought while you were here, I was like, dude, if I can get this fucking answer, it'd be great.
• 13:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm just curious.
• 13:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: You know what I'm saying?
• 13:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 13:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: I can put things to bed as soon as I know the answers and never think about it again, but yeah, I get the answer.
• 13:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I just want the fucking answer.
• 13:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, same with the FC shit right now.
• 13:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like I understand why everybody just wants the goddamn answer and that's it.
• 13:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm one of those people where it's just like, okay, cool.
• 14:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: Well, I'm probably going to blow your mind because I don't ever watch the news.
• 14:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Good.
• 14:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: By the way, you don't really need to.
• 14:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: The world's going fine.
• 14:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 14:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: We're in a podcast world where it's like, all right, cool.
• 14:12
  [SPEAKER_03]: We care more than everybody else, but yeah.
• 14:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: But yeah, dude, you know, life goes on.
• 14:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: People don't care and yeah, I was a fucking my wife is at a PTA meeting last night.
• 14:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: I coach six great football, you know?
• 14:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 14:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: Where's the churping outside?
• 14:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: Totally.
• 14:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I deliberately like like even more than just y'all like I'll put my phone down or I'll leave if I'm coaching I'll put it on the car.
• 14:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't want to be bothered with it, you know?
• 14:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: Um, because like when when a whole Cogan died yesterday.
• 14:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: It was like the phone was going to melt through my leg.
• 14:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: There was so many tax messages and everything coming through because I'm a huge fan of Hulk Hogan.
• 14:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that's all that.
• 14:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I just like, I got to him.
• 14:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Man, I usually make you realize how much you hate your phone.
• 14:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: Where I'm like, I just, if I get limited, it's like, ten people.
• 14:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: Great.
• 14:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: You know, all good in life, but unfortunately, when a business isn't everything else, you can't.
• 14:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 14:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: And so I get it.
• 15:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: But yeah, once I have that answer, it's great.
• 15:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then not watching the news is also great for you.
• 15:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 15:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because the world drive around, you get in gas at a great price, groceries at a great price right now.
• 15:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: If you're not paying attention to the rest of the bullshit,
• 15:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: Probably a bit of live your life.
• 15:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: And that's exactly why I did it.
• 15:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: Literally, that's exactly what I mean.
• 15:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was, you know, fucking saw a lot of combat, saw a lot of stuff, like friends lost, and I fucking was a puppet to the news for a long time.
• 15:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I was like, God damn, what can I do?
• 15:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: I do some research before election vote and go about my merry way.
• 15:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know, like when this is all said and done, we have no end date for the podcast.
• 15:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: We're going on your ten.
• 15:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: We're going to end date for it, but when it is, whatever it is, I'm going to just shut off the news and be like, cool.
• 15:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: Check out a social media, all of it, like, don't care.
• 15:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: You like to do it, though, right?
• 15:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: This, yeah, I love doing this.
• 15:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, you can tell.
• 15:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: And it's somewhat some ass on the comments, who
• 15:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: I hate it.
• 15:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: I hate it.
• 15:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: I never read the comments unless I get a screenshot of forevertizers.
• 15:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Last week, I'll never have the last Friday to screenshot it.
• 15:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: There's always three comments on your YouTube studio thing or whatever the fuck it is.
• 16:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: And one of them, which is a shitty comment about my butt, my buddy who was on the shell and they were like, maybe fucking with the guest and I was like, friends with him and real ass.
• 16:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: They'll see it.
• 16:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: My butt is my buddy.
• 16:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 16:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: And dude, I don't want to read the social media comment and stuff like,
• 16:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: Just get it out of my face.
• 16:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, but I've also got three kids and I know they're going to be doing stuff.
• 16:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, dude, I just want to follow whatever they're doing and that's it.
• 16:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, but luckily they're young enough that I don't have to deal with that for a good seven eight year.
• 16:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know what you should do is we will just hire some will get somebody here that works at the company to do a PD like a PDB a presidential daily brief on your kids.
• 16:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, for the daily work up on what happened with the kids that day and that's the only thing you get to read.
• 16:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: Do you know how many parents would buy that if that was available?
• 16:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: If you had an app of that of like, all right, great.
• 16:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because even this morning, you wake up and you're like, all right, great.
• 17:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: schools are camp is there a thing is there a you know and you're going to the schedule with your wife and like okay cool I'll be here this is this in this time in and you're like man we just have like a little briefing of it I didn't say like a presidential briefing and I was like we have a little schedule this would be it'd be great but it's always changing because you know kids are coming over they're playing with each other and you know
• 17:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: play dates and all that other stuff so I got lucky I've got I have one kid and she's nineteen now so all the I mean she didn't do a whole lot so I didn't have to do all the the shuffling of shit that's great you know are you divorce yeah yeah I know
• 17:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's a play-in-law playing the odds.
• 17:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: What are the odds, right?
• 17:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: Just here in the worst thirty years your life put in a good put in a deer to coma.
• 17:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: You know, press charges for something else is like, yeah, yeah, your divorce.
• 17:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: My action eye are fucking unbelievable, friends.
• 17:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: And we've, even through the entire process, we realize we just grown apart.
• 17:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: And lawyer we went to lawyers and they're like, I don't think you guys need us.
• 17:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: I think this is so amicable and we've seen this is a second case we've ever seen in this practice.
• 18:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: So we just did ourselves and I mean whenever we go out like the Hudson's or different places, you know, it's like a run into a friend like I'm fucking amazed at how you guys just talk so respectfully about each other.
• 18:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: and never once of, you don't want to be so negative thing about each other.
• 18:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: How long are you guys married?
• 18:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: We're twenty one years.
• 18:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: Shit dude.
• 18:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: After twenty one years, is it hard to get back on the, on the fucking saddle dude?
• 18:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: Um, I mean, yeah, for a little while, you know, there's definitely that period for a long time, or I was like, dated a girl, and I probably wasn't there for her, you know, because I was kind of still, I mean, technically I was still married.
• 18:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: Sure, you know, because it's about a year and a half before the divorce went through.
• 18:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: Baby, well, it's a long time, especially if you're doing yourself.
• 18:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, all the paperwork.
• 18:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, it's worse if you're doing it with attorneys.
• 18:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: Well, financially, yeah.
• 18:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: way more money and way more time every every time that's like oh you guys don't agree on who gets the cat photo album that's going to be another four grand each and six months we got away for this court day like fuck you do yeah lawyers are the worst people in the worst we go to law suit and everything else it is to finish the lawsuit was three two and a half years
• 19:12
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, it's gone, dude.
• 19:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's about competition man.
• 19:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: How can I win no matter what?
• 19:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: Well, I was never trying to win.
• 19:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: I was the attorney.
• 19:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, yeah.
• 19:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: They were like, how can I get paid?
• 19:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: But then there's another one because I've got sex right now.
• 19:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: Um, for all the hard-a-half sets around the other shit.
• 19:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like, there was one where I just, I looked at the bill and I was like, it's up on the phone.
• 19:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to walk you through hour for hour of what you didn't do here because this is bullshit.
• 19:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 19:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 19:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then it took it back.
• 19:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: You know, well, yeah.
• 19:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: Anyway, so it's all good now, so good.
• 19:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because you seem like a happy positive person like all the stories you're telling you're pretty fucking wild right now.
• 19:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, well, it's probably the psychedelics.
• 19:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, it's only percent.
• 19:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: When did you get to that?
• 19:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: Well, again, I'll go back to a eighteen delta for the real trauma here.
• 19:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, and you know, we were going through eighteen delta and
• 19:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: But he mind, one of the things he had to do in the class was a rectal exam, right, digital rectal exam.
• 20:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: D-R-E.
• 20:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: D-R-E.
• 20:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: What is that?
• 20:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: You don't remember fuckin' Burton Cohen's explaining this.
• 20:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you're the fuckin' team medic, sometimes you gotta fuckin' put your finger in people.
• 20:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Oh, yes!
• 20:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: So shit dude.
• 20:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's a feel like the tip of your nose.
• 20:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, exactly.
• 20:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's exactly the food that we like from the prostate feels like the tip of your nose.
• 20:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: But if somebody has a spinal compromise and you stick your finger in there, diagnostic tool, they won't.
• 20:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: Clamp on like you should and it's kind of loose so to speak.
• 20:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: So anyways, we have to do a shit.
• 20:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's either that a pry-puzzle.
• 20:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm either have to run your hand on their deck and see if their deck is permanently hard or you've got to put your finger up your butt.
• 20:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: So you get to choose how gay is it gayer for you to touch their deck or gayer for them to have a finger in their butt?
• 20:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: I say you put the gay on them.
• 20:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: I would rather have my dick cuz there's gloves, right?
• 20:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah.
• 20:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, of course you would.
• 20:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: But that's not the point.
• 20:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's a competition between two men to see who's gay or not.
• 20:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: Right.
• 20:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I don't want anything in my ass.
• 20:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: And a dude touching my dick, that's his problem.
• 21:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, but that's what I'm saying.
• 21:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: So you lay the onus on him.
• 21:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: Exactly.
• 21:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: I want my dick touch.
• 21:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Just what?
• 21:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: Just wait.
• 21:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: Wait till you hear this.
• 21:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
• 21:07
  [SPEAKER_05]: So Dave, as you come, I'm almost it.
• 21:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: So Dave, I slid this fucking other seal that we're through Buds with.
• 21:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're selling out by fucking
• 21:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: This is Christian name, five foot ten.
• 21:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm going to call him out.
• 21:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's a fucking, I think he's a doctor now.
• 21:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's about five foot ten, two hundred and twenty pounds.
• 21:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: He could do fifty pull-ups, one five and a half minute miles.
• 21:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: He looked like a fucking crow magnet.
• 21:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: He had a beautiful wife and we knew where to be partnered up.
• 21:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I'd been fucking with them all week and he's like dude Rick, I don't think I can handle another man's finger in my ass man and I'd be like us as a fuck with them.
• 21:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: Remember come down from the barracks and we're walking the day of the class and to the exam and he's like, Rick, I can't do this man.
• 21:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm like, Dave, I'll just fuck with you man.
• 21:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'll be professional.
• 21:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's like, alright, can you just give me out of the way first then?
• 21:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm like, yeah, sure.
• 21:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: So you'd think they'd bring you with a instructor or doctor or something into an exam room.
• 21:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 21:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: No, there's a hundred people around a hundred people in the classroom.
• 22:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: There's big auditorium probably about the size of this.
• 22:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: Was it an old bohemac?
• 22:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: No, it was at.
• 22:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: It was a quick.
• 22:07
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, exactly.
• 22:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: But they push ten tables out against the walls and you ten people are wind up.
• 22:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: So, and they're making sure nobody's, you know, hooking their buddies up, I just knock on them, they're making sure the instructions are making sure you stick to this.
• 22:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's that big of a deal.
• 22:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, you need to know what it feels like.
• 22:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: The guy is sticking the finger in needs now.
• 22:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: You didn't know if your buddy's fucked up.
• 22:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: So anyways, I do the exam, like you're just saying, you know, good sphincter tone to feel like the tip of your nose, blah blah blah, all the things.
• 22:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: Now it's my turn.
• 22:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: And mind you, I've been fucking with this neanderthal for the week before.
• 22:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I lean up against the table.
• 22:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: And he sticks his finger in my ass and squats and presses my face and lifts me up where my face is in the corner of the fucking table grabs my dick jiggles my balls and then drops me on the fucking table right and I look and there's a hundred people on the floor pointing and laughing at me.
• 23:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: I got Kway Jelly dripping out of my ass shut the fuck up.
• 23:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: I just grabbed some fucking toilet paper white my ass walked out with a half hard on and while everyone was laughing at me and
• 23:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: Anyways, it was falls like you got me good motherfucker.
• 23:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's not that's not the real trauma.
• 23:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: I just figured it'd be a good kickoff for us.
• 23:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm just gonna say like, is that even allowed him?
• 23:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: He didn't fucking pass the exam.
• 23:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: He never had to do it again.
• 23:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: If the instructors thought that was so fucking funny that they're like, ah, good job, man.
• 23:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: The fuck the fuck up.
• 23:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: No, but anyway, so I thought that was that.
• 23:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm sure your asshole, though, is fucking, it's pretty torrent.
• 23:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, because you're a Navy guy at an Army school and they just assumed, you're a Navy guy.
• 23:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, that's what he came here for.
• 23:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: Exactly.
• 23:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: He said it for the last before.
• 23:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: He didn't care about anything else.
• 23:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: At that point, it hadn't.
• 23:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 23:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then trauma wise.
• 23:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: Anyway, yeah, the real trauma was just the combat deployment, it's the loss of friends.
• 24:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: A lot of the, you know, the same old, same way you hear everybody, a lot of explosions, the start feeling.
• 24:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: Not myself had about probably two thousand ten you know after doing four or five deployments and just fucking shell of a man type thing and You know had to start getting on hormones.
• 24:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know my thyroid is fucked up getting on testosterone.
• 24:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's here.
• 24:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: See yeah, all the things and what age got us probably forty okay, so yeah, I came out I'm fifty five now so I came in the team so that's twenty twenty eight twenty nine, but yeah, it's in the towards the end of my my
• 24:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: time in the Navy, you know, I just was like, fuck man, this sucks, you know, all the suicide, all the things.
• 24:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: And, kind of, remember I was doing some brain treatment, how in San Diego.
• 24:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: This is brain magnetic, it's called a magnetic EEG EKG resonance there.
• 24:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: And it's like, this magnet where you go, do for like six weeks and it kind of retrain some of your real pathways.
• 24:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I'll talk to the technician there and I was like, hey, is there anything better than this?
• 25:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, he's like, absolutely.
• 25:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I can psych it.
• 25:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, mushrooms do that, but efficiently.
• 25:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, exactly.
• 25:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 25:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, that's like a caveman way of trying to read net-map neural pathways using a fucking magnet.
• 25:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Jesus Christ.
• 25:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: I didn't even know they were doing that.
• 25:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I mean, it does work.
• 25:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: I think the one thing we talked about this eventually, but like the integration, I'm a Nazi about meditation, about mindfulness, about non-judgmental thinking, about all these things that's apart every morning, pardon me, you know, coffee pour of meditation.
• 25:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: fucking shaving my head mindfully all these things to make me present and focus on that on the now so I'm not worried about shit in the past or I know I got to make coffee I don't need to fucking tell myself that fifteen times in my head you know so if I can pay attention to those things and bring it back to whatever I'm doing it it really helps in life just to stay present and conversations are a great way to do that yeah for sure and real quick is ironically
• 25:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: We need sponsors to pay for these conversations.
• 25:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: So let me get the the the the the ad reads here because I look I love these guys and God bless and man.
• 25:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: Thanks for putting us on the air But it really does keep the lights on.
• 26:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, the hall stakes calm Ford slash drinking bros fifty percent off their blazing hot summer sale Cycle I fifty percent off and then you're gonna get an extra forty five dollars off with a promo code drinking bros at checkouts
• 26:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: All right, the other day Bob, I told you I was going to get some of the other good stuff.
• 26:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: So I ordered the Brots.
• 26:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: Those are coming on Monday and then Dan, I ordered the wine.
• 26:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: So you know they had a wine club that you can pair up with the sticks.
• 26:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 26:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: So I got that.
• 26:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: Those are all coming to the house on Monday there and I ordered reds.
• 26:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: So I don't want to hear it from you.
• 26:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
• 26:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: I ordered reds with the steak.
• 26:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: All right.
• 26:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: Some looking forward to that.
• 26:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Why wine is for women?
• 26:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: It is.
• 26:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: It is.
• 26:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: I would have the I would have the red want to be clear about that six.
• 26:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: I love red wine.
• 26:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: But here's what I didn't know.
• 26:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: They like twice baked potatoes.
• 26:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: What are the other sides, Bob?
• 26:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: It was like the style the potatoes are really good.
• 27:02
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 27:03
  [SPEAKER_01]: I'll go to the sides.
• 27:04
  [SPEAKER_01]: Go to the side.
• 27:05
  [SPEAKER_01]: They're all goddamn amazing.
• 27:07
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think the guys are section by the way, too.
• 27:10
  [SPEAKER_01]: Also incredible shit.
• 27:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: I didn't order that those cheese balls.
• 27:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: What are those called right there?
• 27:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: Which ones?
• 27:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: The ones you cut open in the middle.
• 27:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: The rigatowny balls, I think?
• 27:17
  [SPEAKER_01]: Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-
• 27:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, those are result okay.
• 27:23
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I forgot to order those.
• 27:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
• 27:25
  [SPEAKER_01]: Those are in those are fantastic.
• 27:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: This is deep fried result, right?
• 27:29
  [SPEAKER_01]: Stuff big potatoes.
• 27:30
  [SPEAKER_01]: I think yeah, but you could toss it in like an air fryer or whatever you want as well.
• 27:34
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I mean the sides are insane like it's just ridiculous.
• 27:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: I know, dude.
• 27:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: So that was the only one that was off my list.
• 27:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: So I'll let you know about the sides next week.
• 27:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: I think it gets delivered on Monday.
• 27:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: But I'm just curious about those and everything else because if I can't have all this shit to ship to my house in a beautiful styrofoam cooler that's already pre-chilled, let's rock and roll, dude.
• 27:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Omaha State's been America's putcher since the nineteen seventeen family owned company, obviously been around for over a hundred years.
• 28:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: The burgers, I don't order more burgers for my kids in that thing.
• 28:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: So I got the smash burgers as well.
• 28:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: Built for the grill, you get sixteen of them.
• 28:12
  [SPEAKER_03]: If you choose that option, but there's a million of them to choose from.
• 28:15
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• 28:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: So if you want burgers, steak, chicken, pork, seafood, just the desserts.
• 28:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: Just wine, just the sides.
• 28:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: You can do all of that.
• 28:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, we ordered a bunch of stuff for next week, and to the summers come in, and everybody's getting ready for football seasons.
• 28:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: So the last few cookouts before school starts here in Texas, which is very, very quick.
• 28:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: I know Bob your wife's probably amped about it, right?
• 28:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: All this August fifteen thing it is.
• 28:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, she can't wait man That's the one thing taxes got right start school early That way you can have all your neighbors over have a nice back to school cookouts go to homoha steaks.com
• 29:01
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• 29:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: Bryce is for the last few years.
• 29:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: Well, they've been high.
• 29:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: And a lot of people have to reach for the credit card.
• 29:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: Fuck you, Jerome Powell.
• 29:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: The interest rates have got to drop at some point.
• 29:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: Jesus Christ, man, so we can start moving things around here.
• 29:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: Credit card debt is recent all-time high and it's trap in Americans.
• 29:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: American finance can help homeowners pay off interest debt by using their homes equity.
• 29:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: So again, this is for all you homeowners out there.
• 29:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: I know this, I say this on every third episode, I think, but it's true.
• 29:58
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• 30:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: So there's no incentive for them to put she in a loan that doesn't make any sense on average.
• 30:08
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• 30:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: I've used these guys three or four times now and over the years and it's one of those things where why you save it eight hundred bucks a month.
• 30:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: Well, the interest rates on your house is seven and a half to eight percent.
• 30:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: The interest rate on your credit cards is twenty to thirty percent.
• 30:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm sure you never used any credit cards in the military.
• 30:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: Never.
• 30:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: I want and it's killing us dude.
• 30:30
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• 30:33
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• 30:35
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• 30:39
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• 30:43
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• 30:51
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• 30:54
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• 30:57
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• 31:01
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• 31:06
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• 31:25
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• 31:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: Last but not least, it's hard to have Seltsor.com, Ryan Mills is in the back there.
• 31:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: We've got a couple of stores to check on today.
• 31:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: So and out, quickly, tall boys will be coming out at the end of August beginning to September for college football season.
• 31:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: at a roll through the NFL.
• 31:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: In the meantime, Dan and I would be doing a live show August twenty eighth.
• 31:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: And Michigan at a U.S.
• 31:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: A to go, which is a shell station.
• 31:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: And the U.S.
• 31:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: A to go is the convenient stores behind them.
• 31:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: We got in, I think, like, I don't know, thirty stores or whatever it is.
• 32:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: So they're going to let us do a show inside the convenience store.
• 32:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: Just fucking hilarious.
• 32:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: And we'll put all the details up as it gets closer here.
• 32:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: Mike Baskovich, I know I owe you a phone call.
• 32:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: There's like nine hundred people.
• 32:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't even know why it's accident.
• 32:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: Just text Mike, okay, just text me the thing.
• 32:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: I can't, I can't make the call.
• 32:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: I love you.
• 32:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: All right, but we'll be there in Michigan.
• 32:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: We'll shoot in black and white like clerks.
• 32:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then I believe we got Columbus Ohio the next day at Johnny's tavern.
• 32:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then we'll be at Richard Danoff's tailgates on August thirty.
• 32:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: For the Texas Ohio State Game.
• 32:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: Go, box.
• 32:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: Thank you for that.
• 32:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: I appreciate it.
• 32:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: Psychedelic wise.
• 32:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: What did you first dabble into?
• 32:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: It was Phil Siden.
• 32:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: So mushrooms?
• 32:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yep.
• 32:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
• 32:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, it was a I wrote dose and is with one of the technicians at the brain treatment place and he brought a body mine and I and fucking blew my mind.
• 32:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was like
• 33:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: but I felt like a different person.
• 33:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: First time taking mushrooms?
• 33:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, well, that's everybody.
• 33:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 33:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 33:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: So, you know, did that and then got started looking at what I could do, what else I could do, and this is early on in Vets, Veterans Exploring, Treatment Solutions with Markets, Amber Capone, and talked to Markets on the phone, and got me down to Mexico, did I regain and to five of them, you know, DMT, and it was a lifelong atheist before that.
• 33:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: Fifteen minutes later, it wasn't really.
• 33:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 33:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: So mushrooms, we all know about, I regain.
• 33:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm going to cop.
• 33:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: I know two people personally, two friends that have done it.
• 33:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: So what was your experience?
• 33:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because that's something they're trying to legalize right now.
• 33:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, of course they did to go through the Senate and all that stuff.
• 33:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: Correct.
• 33:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: Correct.
• 33:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yes.
• 33:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: The experience was, I mean, it was so eye-opening.
• 33:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: My personal experience was, I remember right notes, and it really, it was like Rick's kick-ass life.
• 33:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: It showed me a perspective of my life of just how awesome it really is.
• 33:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, kind of, it was weird.
• 34:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: Being able to, we can get it all, what it was like, zooming out and kind of walk it through my day from like a bird's eye view.
• 34:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: changed relationship with my mom that I had talked to in many years and I kind of got a bird's eye perspective of the abuse that she had as a kid, you know, for my grandfather and then for my dad and seeing how she was just trying to rescue the kids and brought us from Minnesota down to Texas when I was like, you know, young kid and kind of just changed my perspective on like, man, I haven't stepped a fucking foot.
• 34:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: in her shoes, right?
• 34:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, not one step in her shoes.
• 34:30
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 34:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: And so it kind of, it kind of changed how I just had viewed that relationship.
• 34:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: So it really repaired the relationship of my mom.
• 34:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: But also, you know, I was on stimulants and, and I depressed and sent all the shit that the VA put me on.
• 34:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I was done that weekend, no, with ribogaine's pretty amazing.
• 34:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's one of the only things that they know of that can, I mean, for cocaine, opiates, even alcohol, stimulants, all those things.
• 34:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: It can wipe any type of withdrawal type stuff.
• 34:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's real.
• 34:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and flushes are opioid receptors, which is the big one for us, because not so much anymore, because it was paying attention to it, but back in the day, if you've got some kind of injury, they just gave me per cassette.
• 35:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and to sit you to a pain clinic.
• 35:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like I'm not if we're cutting these pain clinics popped up all over the country.
• 35:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: There's still one.
• 35:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Do you have the address?
• 35:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: I just, I get a pan.
• 35:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm just gonna run.
• 35:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: You can't shut that.
• 35:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: I can't just roll it in there.
• 35:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: There were too many lawsuits and I'm not gonna prescribe anything.
• 35:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: You gotta go to fentanyl now.
• 35:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: But yeah, they're all these pain clinics popped up all over the place.
• 35:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: And was it for you guys?
• 35:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: Um, no, it was to sell the draw.
• 35:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: It was the pharmaceutical industry.
• 35:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Fucking people over, basically, but um, uh, they popped up around military bases for sure.
• 35:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: They were everywhere.
• 35:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: No shit.
• 35:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: We get a referral from your primary doctor at the, at the base over this pain clinic.
• 35:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: And they're like, what's your level of pain?
• 35:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, I don't know.
• 35:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Ten.
• 35:54
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 35:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 35:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Ten.
• 35:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 35:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Here's some pills.
• 35:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that was pretty much the end of it.
• 35:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: Really?
• 35:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 35:59
  [SPEAKER_05]: That was a big thing after I began.
• 36:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: So I mean, I remember doing some neuropsychological testing right before I retired.
• 36:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I remember the doctor telling me he's like Rick, I think ninety percent of your pains all in your head.
• 36:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was like fuck you man with your buzz three times.
• 36:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: Hell was twice.
• 36:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: It was a gymnast as a tall dude.
• 36:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know broke a ten orthopedic surgery.
• 36:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: So I was like fuck you man.
• 36:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: And after I went through I began and five of them, you know, all that paint was going on.
• 36:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: And it's still going.
• 36:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: No shit.
• 36:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's a big problem with long-term opiate use is that when your opiate receptors are clogged up like that, you feel pain that is only because of that, right?
• 36:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's almost like inflammation pain.
• 36:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's not real pain.
• 36:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's pressure on your nerves, right?
• 36:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's not like you get an injury or anything like that.
• 36:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's wild.
• 36:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 36:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: And you're experienced now.
• 36:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: I got to get into it with you because both friends who did it came back with just wild experiences.
• 36:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: One said we were talking about it all fear the other day.
• 36:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: One said he
• 36:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: At one point was in such like a depth of hell, like the ninth depth of hell is what he described that he was just like, it felt like I was never coming out of it.
• 37:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: And he goes, it got to a point where I'm just counting down seconds in my mind to kind of chill myself out, right?
• 37:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: So it was like, any other sixty seconds in a minute, you know, and then you keep going through the seconds and everything else.
• 37:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: So it goes, I was positive, positive.
• 37:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: I had countered out an hour and a half.
• 37:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: And just by the seconds in my mind and everything else, whatever.
• 37:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I guess there's a doctor in the room with you.
• 37:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yep.
• 37:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: And he looks at the doctor and he goes, uh, so was it ten, is it ten, thirty?
• 37:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: Whatever and he goes, no.
• 37:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, no, it's not ten, it's not ten, it's not ten, it's not ten, it's not ten, it's like, well, I don't understand.
• 37:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like I just counted an hour and a half and he goes.
• 37:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, it's been seven minutes, man.
• 37:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 37:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: Um, and he goes, holy shit.
• 37:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's only twelve hours long, too.
• 37:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and he goes, that's what he said.
• 37:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: So he goes, that twelve hours seems like an eternity.
• 37:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 37:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: Um, is that true?
• 37:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: It wasn't for me, but I, so I, I,
• 37:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: the doctor probably talking about.
• 38:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: I've worked with him a lot and I was his executive director for a program for a long time.
• 38:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: So I have seen a lot of people explain that exact same thing, but my own personal experience was pretty amazing.
• 38:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: It was pretty awesome.
• 38:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: Afterwards, the day after kind of sucks, you know, like really bad, like it's like you've been beaten with a fucking baseball bat for twelve hours and it's like walking the living dead of whoever else you're there with just
• 38:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: sleeping all day, maybe go downstairs, grab a couple pieces of fruit, go back up and sleep.
• 38:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's almost like a JDM was dropped on you.
• 38:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: And the five MEO DMT is kind of like the rebuilding the foundation, you know, and you got to build the house after that, but it kind of rebuilds you.
• 38:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: And how long do you do the DMT after coming out of the eye again?
• 38:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: We did a Friday night, so it's probably a little less than a day.
• 38:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, probably about twenty, maybe twenty, four hours.
• 38:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: We do it on the Sunday.
• 38:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: We do the Ivy Game Friday night, and the Sunday, we do the five, I mean, with DMT.
• 38:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I was just like, dude, that's what my PTSD and my, you know, TBI type symptoms healed was not expecting to fucking meet God at all.
• 39:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: And that's been a common thing, too, like, for real for real.
• 39:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, because, I mean, I'm looking at it now here on my computer and like the,
• 39:12
  [SPEAKER_03]: The Texas Senate, like, are you from Texas?
• 39:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: Since I was five.
• 39:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, because the fucking both sides suck here.
• 39:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, the local government in the state is horrific, almost sides, but it's magically they come together every once in a while and try to do something and
• 39:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: Rob O'Neill is a buddy of ours and also on the on the network here.
• 39:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: He did it and he's been advocating it for I began to be legalized.
• 39:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, so it's shocked to see it on the yeah taxes floor.
• 39:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: I was like out of all the things that's the one you're like.
• 39:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, let's let's get this one done.
• 39:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, because it seems like it's
• 39:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: Crazy if you're you know, yeah, but nobody's gonna use it for recreation.
• 39:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's a promise to use it recreation that that is not a fucking concern Okay, that would be like I smoke five MEO all the time recreation because it's awesome
• 40:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: at no point what i use i wasker i began recreational that's retarded nobody would do that okay so uh... with with i began will there be a doctor in the room uh... similar to like the ketamine treatments that are here like all over the clinics all over awesenship ok at you okay uh... and and it's twelve hours that you about yeah it can fall and it's usually be a dry even the entire time
• 40:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: For a few hours?
• 40:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: Oh yeah, I mean like multiple and then afterwards for hours maybe then into the next day.
• 40:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's why you have to have that entire recovery day.
• 40:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: Holy shit.
• 40:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: But it scares the shit out of people.
• 40:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah and and it is the big push for it and forgive me if you're not from Texas, but I'm we're seeing it everywhere here right now.
• 40:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: Is the big push for it's
• 40:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: What you're saying is like, it helps so many fucking people that it's just, it's unbelievable.
• 40:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, so it's a miracle.
• 40:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: I call it sacrament out of fucking rock, but we want everyone.
• 40:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because it works for some and not for others, and this is kind of where I'm going with this.
• 41:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: So one, one of the two friends that did it.
• 41:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: He was a totally different change person, like kind of overnight, right?
• 41:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: But then it kind of wore off after it's called eight to ten months.
• 41:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: I think they called a honeymoon period.
• 41:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 41:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: Is that real?
• 41:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: It is.
• 41:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: But here's the thing with it.
• 41:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: And this is why, so again, I started, I wouldn't talk that later, but I started a program in Texas for a while.
• 41:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 41:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: where we treated a lot of people.
• 41:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: Not necessarily with IB again, but just it was with the civil side and five in the ODMT.
• 41:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: But then I supported Dr. Martin Polenko, who's been on all these bills.
• 41:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, he worked with Marcus Nambar for a long time.
• 41:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: The integration period afterwards, the medicine shows you the path you need to walk, but you got to fucking walk it.
• 41:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: And a lot of those things, these hippy things that we do, like I talked about, like meditation mindfulness, these things that you do every day, non-judgmental thing.
• 41:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: I think fucking judgment is the biggest thing for guys in the military and law enforcement, the cynical aspect.
• 42:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's when I can reframe things in my mind that I don't like again a big thing during like COVID was like fucking liberal terms and we for fucking were a mess.
• 42:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you know, and I walked in with that type of mindset before I did not before I started practicing non-judgmental thinking and
• 42:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, again, I've put about a hundred and twenty people through retreats here in Texas, right, a full-blown program with preparation period with a retreat on a badass wedding venue with a integration period afterwards.
• 42:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: And it's always the, you know, fall up with people after for about a year or two.
• 42:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: And people start to feel their old effects come back in.
• 42:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: And it's because they have this honeymoon period afterwards.
• 42:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: And they think, oh, man, God, this is going to last forever.
• 42:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: There are some caveats where that one is a mystical experience.
• 42:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: If you have a genuine mystical experience, by certain criteria, the God experience, those have lifelong benefits.
• 42:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: But if you don't have a lot of people don't, right?
• 42:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: If they don't integrate these things into their lives, right?
• 42:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: Meaning, trying to be a little more present.
• 43:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: trying to, in the habits that do it, that allow it.
• 43:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's gonna wear off.
• 43:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: And again, we've had a lot of repeat offenders, so to speak, people come back through, it's like, alright man, do your fucking do the things now, because it really makes a difference.
• 43:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's almost to the point where I have made it a point not to use psychedelics, because I want to prove to people, right, and to myself, that I can do the things that you need to do afterwards to sustain this.
• 43:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: And that you only need it once.
• 43:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: I did it twice because of the first time I felt that honeymoon period and I didn't know we just two thousand nineteen integration was kind of like yeah I make sure to integrate this thing and I was like okay whatever didn't know that meant but it's now like when I now advance you know talk with Amber for a long time during this I was like you gotta fucking integrate this stuff you know you gotta you gotta teach people how to bring this back into their lives of it you're limited on donor funds you're limited on seats
• 43:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: And if people just keep coming back every six months, they need to tune up, right?
• 43:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: Without doing the steps necessary, that can really sustain these things, it's kind of irresponsible in my opinion.
• 44:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: Not saying she was, I'm just saying, but it's irresponsible of us as practitioners, so to speak.
• 44:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: if we don't convey just how fucking important doing the work is.
• 44:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, intentionality is really the thing that matters.
• 44:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: So he said reframing this is I talk about Adlerian psychology a lot.
• 44:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's where it comes from.
• 44:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's called positive reframing.
• 44:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: So Adler would call this private logic where this is what I was talking to Derek White about in at first form a couple of months ago.
• 44:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: You build, and the same way that you build or destroy or fuck up neural pathways, you build shortcuts in your brand for ideas.
• 44:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: And one of the short, well, a big part of it is your personal identity, right?
• 44:49
  [SPEAKER_04]: So you start thinking that I'm a failure.
• 44:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: I have no intrinsic value of people don't care about me blah blah blah blah.
• 44:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Adler calls that private logic.
• 44:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: So you have to attack that stuff.
• 45:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can't just take a drug feel good for a while and forget about it.
• 45:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's not how that works.
• 45:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: I guess you could say that the drug gives you a little bit of standoff and an opportunity to address the thing that's fucked up.
• 45:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: So you have to attack that private logic and say,
• 45:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Here's the reason that I believe this stuff, and here are all the evidence.
• 45:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: Here is all the evidence to the contrary.
• 45:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like my family depends on me, I've done a good job here, blah, blah, blah, the good always, the bad in that regard.
• 45:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then you start the process after that.
• 45:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: After you've attacked private logic, you start the process of developing habitual positive reframing, which is like,
• 45:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: One of them, one of the ways to do it is non-judgmental.
• 45:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Thinking, I don't do that.
• 45:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm very judgmental.
• 45:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Everybody can go fuck themselves.
• 46:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: But, you know, it's to me that's just funny to be honest.
• 46:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: I do that because I enjoy doing it.
• 46:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: But yeah, it's positive reframing is like,
• 46:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: A big part of it is this idea that did you have a bad day or did you have a bad five minutes and you allowed it to make the rest of your day bad?
• 46:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: And one of the ways is how other people affect you, right?
• 46:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: And one of the ways that you allow other people to affect you is by constantly taking them at their worst possible meeting, right?
• 46:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: So somebody with a different political opinion, then you says something and right out of the gate, you're like, nope, that's wrong, like maybe.
• 46:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, maybe it's possible.
• 46:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's wrong, but are you just being a cunt?
• 46:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I'll always hear everybody else.
• 46:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: So it's not.
• 46:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Well, there's a lot of people I judge.
• 46:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, that's fucking real.
• 46:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's a nice normal.
• 46:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 46:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 46:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: And going back to it like I
• 46:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: Here's what I have trouble understanding, because I just want to just watch this doc on HBO about the Paul Brothers Jake Paul.
• 47:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: Logan Paul, it was actually great, and I've talked about a few times, because it's called Paul American.
• 47:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: Well, Jake believes in psychedelics and finding, you know,
• 47:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: spirituality and how to let go of the past in particular trauma he had with his father so I think it was the second last episode he does ayahuasca a lot and he took his father with him and he said look I was abused my father and any any
• 47:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: beat me.
• 47:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I think if he goes on this journey with me, hopefully this will open himself up to, you know, we can repair our relationship and all those stuff.
• 47:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: Well, what was interesting to me was I'd never seen on camera before like the full thing, because I did not know all that shit went down.
• 47:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: But literally, yeah, the piss, the shit, the puking, because they give you some form of tea first that kind of makes you throw up everything inside your body.
• 48:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know about all that.
• 48:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, well, I was a combination of two different things.
• 48:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Ironically, from different parts of the Amazon jungle, that they have to combine to drink.
• 48:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: Right, right.
• 48:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: And so you're watching them puke and piss and shit and everything else.
• 48:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: He took his girlfriend.
• 48:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: And his dad and then his dad's new wife.
• 48:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: So it was the four of them down there doing it.
• 48:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: And, you know, Jake had this amazing experience and this was amazing and beautiful and everything else.
• 48:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: The dad said nothing.
• 48:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like he was like, nothing happened to him.
• 48:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
• 48:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: Did he want to be there?
• 48:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: No.
• 48:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
• 48:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's probably ninety percent of that right.
• 48:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: And that's why I'm asking this question.
• 48:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: So is that it too?
• 48:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: So let's say you go down and you do I became.
• 48:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: If you don't want to be there, is that still going to change your life?
• 48:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: Usually not.
• 48:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: Sometimes they can't, but again, what I mean.
• 48:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: I wouldn't say I wouldn't know how hyperbole here, but the majority of people who came that I've seen that said, then we started turning people away, at least to the program I was at, after the first few people that are like, hey, fucking people told me I need to be here, I'm just here, and it didn't turn out well.
• 49:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, they didn't have a good experience, they didn't carry through with anything afterwards, it's kind of a waste of their time, the waste of resources.
• 49:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: But how does it, how can you not have a good experience?
• 49:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: Does the drug not take over and just kind of eliminate all the bullshit that you're
• 49:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: currently going through like a magnifying glass right it can be a it can be uh... it can either pull you up to the thirty thousand foot viewer can bring you down to the magnifying glass level these drugs can so you can either hyper focus on what was wrong with you or you can fucking back up to a thirty thousand foot view and see that your field of view has been very narrow so you think you have a negative view of life but if you look at your entirety and it look at the entire of your life right your
• 49:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: point of view is actually pretty positive like what he was saying like I've got a pretty cool life actually right I'm just focusing on so wrong things okay you've never done it no I don't well I'll say why if you want to know but here's the other part that was interesting to the story is
• 50:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: the the wife she had her own fucking experience and she seems you know this is awesome jay kettison experience was awesome um he his fiance is a Olympic gold medalist our silver medalist and her focus and her mind is so locked in on winning a gold medal in these next games that she walked out of there and she was just like
• 50:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: nothing I don't feel anything and he was like why why didn't you feel anything I don't really understand and she goes my mind I'm so singular focused on what what I have to do on a daily basis that like I can't allow any other things to come inside my mind and she goes I'm able to block out everything no matter what it is and I didn't know that was possible on either I began or Ayahuasca yeah so and now here's where my fear comes in right's is
• 50:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: Let's say you started thinking about shit.
• 50:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm one of these trips and I'll talk to my wife about it.
• 50:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like, you start feeling some shit.
• 50:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm one of these trips and then you get back and it changes the focus you had to run multiple businesses and things like that.
• 51:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like that's I think I used to want to do it and now I don't because I'm so hyper focused on on this one thing that I don't want anything to disrupt.
• 51:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: What it's currently going on with the blinders that I have on.
• 51:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I mean, it's your success.
• 51:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: You're the one who knows what's fucking going on in your head.
• 51:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I'll say this.
• 51:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: I've had that question asked me.
• 51:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: I doesn't sometimes.
• 51:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, you have people come through the retreats.
• 51:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, I don't want to fucking lose my edge man.
• 51:32
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
• 51:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: And afterwards, here's what I have found out is you don't lose your edge.
• 51:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: You just now get the opportunity to choose when you want to use it.
• 51:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: Right?
• 51:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: You have that discernment, the ability to fucking say, OK, I can have edge now.
• 51:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: I can tell fucking funny stories.
• 51:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: I've done psychedelics, right?
• 51:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: I run in a business right now.
• 51:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: I do in these things.
• 51:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'll have it lost my edge.
• 51:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: But now I can taper it back.
• 51:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know.
• 51:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's different.
• 51:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: You don't have to lose the edge.
• 51:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: You can still be you the entire time.
• 52:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's just you get the choice now.
• 52:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's kind of how I explain it to people.
• 52:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: But I don't know if I would have the choice in the moment.
• 52:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I think that's what the moment is.
• 52:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: With Ayahuasca or Ibegaine, you know, you're like, that's not, you're not supposed to have the choice in the moment.
• 52:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 52:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what it's like.
• 52:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's a spiritual obstacle course for lagoon better phrase, right?
• 52:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, oh, I see what you're saying.
• 52:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: But after the fact, like, it's, it's, yeah, I'm not talking about the experience.
• 52:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm talking about afterwards the effects of it afterwards.
• 52:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, a lot of people think they're gonna lose their edge.
• 52:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yes, right.
• 52:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 52:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like Scott Summers, you know, Cyclops from the X-Men, huh?
• 52:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: Where he's just blasting lasers everywhere until he's got his gay little goggles on.
• 52:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: Now you got your gay little goggles on.
• 52:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: Well, I'll tell you, I don't want to say this is, because now that you've said a couple names, like, we, now we know more than two people have done this shit.
• 52:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: Dan and I were together once and luckily, this was not on air.
• 52:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: It wasn't our show we were doing somebody else's.
• 52:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Why don't we have buddies?
• 52:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: You just come back from doing it and it was two weeks just back from Mexico.
• 53:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: It was a commercial break.
• 53:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: Is that the crazy shit I've ever heard out of a human before?
• 53:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, it was just like, like it was total normal conversation.
• 53:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, whoa.
• 53:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: I... If I said that in a business... Fucking forget it.
• 53:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 53:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like, the... No.
• 53:26
  [SPEAKER_05]: Like, everybody grew up with a fuck as wrong with you.
• 53:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: A lot of that is just talking to people afterwards.
• 53:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: They listen afterwards.
• 53:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: You're going to have this fucking glow this after glow, the honeymoon period, right?
• 53:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 53:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: Nobody else has had these experiences.
• 53:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, you'll find those people that you can talk to that have had.
• 53:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's what I said.
• 53:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was like, dude, but everyone else fucking just understand.
• 53:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: They don't understand what the fuck you're talking about.
• 53:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: So maybe, you know, just right now, you don't have to tell the entire world about it.
• 53:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay, perfect.
• 53:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because it was something that wasn't real in this world where you were just like, hey, dude, I
• 53:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know what the fuck it is.
• 53:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: Dan's the hilarious part of Dan is like his expression never changes so like this is something that you it's not on film you'll never see it or whatever you just looks at your watch and then went on about his day like during like our buddies said the most fucked up thing of all time and it's like especially who it is.
• 54:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: Dan just looks at his watch and he goes uh okay cool
• 54:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: And live, you're back in, you know?
• 54:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: And like literally, the producer was like, is you here in the, and they're like, and live, you're back in, you're like, okay, go on, we have finished the rest of the show.
• 54:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: He was motionless in my mind.
• 54:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: I looked at the other person in the house and it was just like, yo, what the fuck?
• 54:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like, yeah, yeah.
• 54:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's, and the reason why I say this is that's one of my fears, is that I would come back and then I would be in a meeting and say something totally off the fucking rails and they would be like, well,
• 54:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: But you're definitely not funding you anymore.
• 54:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's fair, man.
• 54:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 54:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's why I switched because early on, I would say, ten years ago.
• 54:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Really want to do Ayahuasca and kind of try it out and figure some shit out and everything else.
• 55:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: Dan, you've always said it's kind of like emptying the hard drive.
• 55:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, so his process, he actually, I don't know if it was intentional or not, but you did it the right way.
• 55:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: The first thing you have to solve is the hardware issue, which is usually thyroid in hormones, right?
• 55:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: This is for, for dudes, and I don't know as much about women, but you have to solve the hardware issue first, and then the software issue is dumping
• 55:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: bad neural pathways, right?
• 55:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: So your brain is very sophisticated machine that distinguishes between threats and benefits and the best way to do that and to make it the most efficient is to create shortcuts, right?
• 55:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: I see this pattern, that's dangerous, I see this pattern, that's food.
• 55:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, think of it that way.
• 55:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, your brain, when you have traumatic experiences, especially early on in life, once that you don't really remember, it creates neural pathways that are wrong.
• 55:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: So you see a pattern, whether it's the way some of these walk in social behavior, the way that some particular emotion makes you feel internally, and it's in correct.
• 56:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right?
• 56:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: Your brain has learned the wrong thing, and now you have to unlearn it.
• 56:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that's one of the things that the heroic dose of psilocybin helps with.
• 56:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: Is that what it's called for heroic dose?
• 56:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 56:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: Is there like God mode?
• 56:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: Is there, like, how far does it go?
• 56:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, with souls with souls, I'm absolutely there's God mode.
• 56:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: And again, with the heroic dose, I mean, you can do it a little lower doses, but there's something also to be said that
• 56:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I did like acid a few times as a kid.
• 56:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: Cool, the whole pretty lights on all that shit.
• 56:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: The eye mask, wearing an eye mask and having an intentional playlist and having somebody fucking there where you can feel completely vulnerable, right, to where.
• 56:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: And that was the cool thing about the program that we had.
• 56:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: It was a bunch of retired seals.
• 56:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: It was a bunch of hippies that we built relationships with these people before they came out to where they could just on this badass, forty four acre wedding venue where
• 56:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: a lot of gold star with those, a lot of gold star family members.
• 56:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: A lot of soft dudes, a lot of cops.
• 57:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: They could come there and I remember this one gold star and I guarantee you, no, she has came through and she's like, I feel so fucking safe here.
• 57:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: I feel this fortress that we're in and all the people that are around.
• 57:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: I feel like I can feel, I'm getting goosebumps on my fucking shins right now in my arms talking about it, but she says, I can just let go and she did.
• 57:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, and there's a lot of healing that goes on.
• 57:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: the cliches it is and Dan, I know you know this setting, the mindset that you go into it with, but also the environment that you're in and how safe you feel really, really is a true key to a real, true healing process.
• 57:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, think of it like sterilizing before surgery, right?
• 57:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yep.
• 57:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I used to take way, way back in the day.
• 57:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: I used to take these mine expansion classes.
• 57:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: And it was in L.A.
• 57:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: and you put this helmet on.
• 57:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: It was walking lights.
• 57:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: I was sign-tology.
• 57:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I wish.
• 57:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: I wish.
• 57:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, it was volunteer.
• 57:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I was like, what do you mean mine expansion?
• 57:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: Creativity and things like that.
• 57:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: If you're able to open up other sides of your brain that you don't typically access.
• 58:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, okay, cool.
• 58:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: So I went and it almost skeptical the first time, right?
• 58:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because you lay down and you're with a therapist.
• 58:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: You were this one.
• 58:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
• 58:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: She's got a microphone.
• 58:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: It took up to your helmet.
• 58:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: It looked like a kind of like a storm shipper helmet and it's just lights that flash.
• 58:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: So it's like one that starts here in the middle and then it slowly goes, goes, goes and then multiple lights and then
• 58:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: you're just checked out.
• 58:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like because you're trying to focus on the lights with your eyes, you're hearing her voice and then you're kind of accessing, like she's asking you questions about life creativity, what do you think about and everything else?
• 58:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: And it worked.
• 58:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: It was fucking awesome.
• 58:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: It was expensive.
• 58:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: But I kept going, you know, it's just like, dude, this is fucking amazing because it's the first time you're able to check out and then with somebody there who's like a calming soothing voice,
• 58:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: You can access different parts of your brain.
• 58:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: Now, this is nothing to do with psychedelics or ketamine or anything.
• 59:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like, it was, no, that's EMDR probably.
• 59:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: I was going to say, it sounds like he'd be on.
• 59:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 59:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: And for whatever reason, they shut it down after like three or four months, I didn't get to do it anymore.
• 59:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: And it wasn't any places like that back in the day.
• 59:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: So, uh, but it did, that was the first time that I was just like, okay, if you're with the right people,
• 59:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: On the right trip, let's call it, even though this was, you know, no drugs involved whatsoever, yes, I can see how that would be very, very helpful.
• 59:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: Where if you have a calming soothing person voice, whoever's with you, I'd say able to walk you through all this stuff, then yeah, you could absolutely heal trauma, access parts to your brain for creativity or whatever else it is, but I was younger.
• 59:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: I got was, you know, twenty-three.
• 59:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: I think twenty-four when I did it.
• 59:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: Seven years ago.
• 59:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 59:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 59:50
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 59:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: I have about ten.
• 59:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 59:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: I didn't have thirty-four, so bless you.
• 59:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: I know I look younger than that, but it's, yeah.
• 59:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: I get a week back going about that for an hour.
• 1:00:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: But yeah, so, but as I get out, older.
• 1:00:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: Then I was worried about, well, shit.
• 1:00:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't want to lose the edge of whatever this is.
• 1:00:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: So the Iowa Oscar dream was going on.
• 1:00:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's, uh, I got to tell you that's, that's retarded.
• 1:00:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's like not working out because you don't want to get sore muscles.
• 1:00:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: What do you mean?
• 1:00:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean that, uh, you, you stress your muscles and tear fascia and it repairs itself.
• 1:00:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what happens with your brain as well.
• 1:00:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: It doesn't change who you are.
• 1:00:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: I know, but it's the intentionality that people don't have, or that they do have, that's in the wrong direction.
• 1:00:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: That changes who they are, these people to get.
• 1:00:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: The thing that healing is some lifelong journey, instead of something to get done now, so you can progress.
• 1:00:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what it really is.
• 1:00:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you're years into this and still thinking about your healing process, then you have failed.
• 1:00:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: Dude, I tell people all the time like,
• 1:00:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was talking to a friend of mine's kid the other day, you know, he's nineteen or twenty, but I said, you can sit there and dwell on shit or have this potential healing thing for years of your life.
• 1:01:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: I guess what, maybe you can just fucking spend six hours one day and be like, dude, wow, that was that.
• 1:01:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's all knocked it out.
• 1:01:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: Well, luckily, and here's what I say this.
• 1:01:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't have, I didn't have trauma.
• 1:01:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: growing up or anything else.
• 1:01:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: It wasn't the military, I didn't have any traumatic experiences, it wasn't, you know, every fucking person on this planet has some fucking trauma.
• 1:01:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: Whether they're a little kid that was four years old, get that, got told something that we don't look at as now, you know, we're like, oh, that wasn't a big deal, but a two fucking four year old, it might have been a fucking really big deal at the time.
• 1:01:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm just telling you the way, the lot of the stuff that we've seen and support in Martin Planko and then do my own thing for a long time.
• 1:01:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: There's so much childhood trauma that is stuff that's just held and repressed.
• 1:01:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm not saying you do.
• 1:01:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm just saying I would be real surprised if there has not been something in your life that has an effect.
• 1:01:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm not trying to talk into doing it.
• 1:01:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: You're going to absolutely, if you ever want to do it, I tell people, you know, fucking, you'll know when it's time for you.
• 1:01:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: I feel like you're forcing me to create a trauma that way.
• 1:01:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: Maybe.
• 1:01:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know.
• 1:01:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know.
• 1:02:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: Maybe I love cyclists, you know, maybe it was rapes.
• 1:02:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: Why don't I hate cyclists in real life?
• 1:02:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: No, I mean, I had a regrets memory, a repressed memory that came out when I did this.
• 1:02:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: I had fucking, there's a childhood thing.
• 1:02:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, it wasn't anything too crazy.
• 1:02:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: It was fucking creepy, wicked stepdad.
• 1:02:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I was in sixth grade who was a fucking pedophile.
• 1:02:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, like, like,
• 1:02:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: I didn't remember until I had the experience and I was like, oh fuck yeah, it did happen.
• 1:02:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's like trying to touch my dick to see if I get a heart on.
• 1:02:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was in six rails.
• 1:02:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 1:02:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: I want to say, and I remember just backing off from it, but that's, again, I hadn't thought about that or even that was a fucking rep- that was a betrayal of trust from a person in a position of, you know, of trust.
• 1:02:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: Sure.
• 1:02:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I mean, it wasn't anything crazy, but it was still fucking, that's
• 1:02:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Still pretty crazy.
• 1:02:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: Well, you're good looking kid though.
• 1:02:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: We have my body.
• 1:02:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yes.
• 1:02:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:02:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Well, that's the thing.
• 1:02:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: So like I'm right there.
• 1:02:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: If you look behind Dan on the wall, you know, same here, but I wasn't touched, man.
• 1:02:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: And like, no, no, I questioned my looks as a child.
• 1:02:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: Bob is the same way Catholic, you know, alter boy, both of those guys are all sort of people.
• 1:03:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's how I tell people, make it through buds.
• 1:03:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: People are like, how do you make it through buds?
• 1:03:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: I was like, it's called alter boy syndrome.
• 1:03:07
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's how you make it.
• 1:03:08
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's how you fucking make it through Buds.
• 1:03:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: You disassociate like an altar one.
• 1:03:12
  [SPEAKER_01]: Nothing happened to me that God didn't want to happen.
• 1:03:15
  [SPEAKER_01]: Why don't you honestly like all those other kids grow up.
• 1:03:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, grow up losers.
• 1:03:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, but luckily yeah, I don't
• 1:03:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: really think so I think if we had like a repressed memory come up and it had nothing to do with a childhood with something else and yeah so don't get focused on repressed memories usually it's not something that on the nose to be honest so like what what I would recommend is like
• 1:03:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: Think about some things that you do habitually, or that you think about habitually, or you experience or feel habitually, they're getting in the way of what you're trying to accomplish.
• 1:03:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then try to work backwards from why that is the case, because usually it's something we call it trauma, but it's like that's a
• 1:04:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: Um, I would just like slow clap at the end.
• 1:04:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Uh, no, but that's not any of what I meant.
• 1:04:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: I just meant like maybe you created a bad pathway, neural pathway at some point that is not that big of a deal, but it's something that's getting in the way of what you're trying to do.
• 1:04:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: That island has been reinforcing, you know, built and habit over and over.
• 1:04:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, you got to think that like, no, just for example.
• 1:04:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: What do you mean?
• 1:04:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: Uh, what's an example of that?
• 1:04:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: So what he was saying, that's an extreme example, but maybe at some point, and this naturally happens to children, because life is complicated.
• 1:04:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: You need something in the moment.
• 1:04:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Our parents are doing their best, but the Gen Z and millennial parents were not the best at doing certain things, right?
• 1:05:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: And it only became a problem because they were around so goddamn much.
• 1:05:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: Usually we would be off somewhere else or in the fucking fields trying to stay alive or some shit, right?
• 1:05:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: But the modernity kind of put us together a lot and then kids need X, Y, and Z. So we have a tendency to send our children away when they're being dicks, right?
• 1:05:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like, hey, shut the fuck up.
• 1:05:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're being a dick.
• 1:05:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: This is unacceptable.
• 1:05:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: Go to your room.
• 1:05:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:05:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's the wrong answer, right?
• 1:05:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I mean,
• 1:05:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: Psychologically speaking, the kid is expressing that they need you in some way.
• 1:05:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: And our tendency is to want, we want them to be good adults, so we punish them in the moment for what we consider to be bad behavior, what we don't understand typically is that that bad behavior is a symptom of them needing something from us.
• 1:05:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: So, in the moment that they need us most, we send them away, that happens, our generations, especially, that happened routinely.
• 1:05:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Now, it's overcorrected in a very gay way, recently, with the helicopter bullshit.
• 1:05:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: But, it's still a thing to do.
• 1:06:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: So, the kids do something stupid, be it a dick, and you're like, hey, you're being a dick.
• 1:06:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Now, Colourians sit down and tell me why.
• 1:06:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right?
• 1:06:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: All right, your good kid, I love you.
• 1:06:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: But not that shit off.
• 1:06:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's how you're supposed to handle this.
• 1:06:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm that's reductive.
• 1:06:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: But in your childhood, I probably didn't happen that way because most people's childhood doesn't.
• 1:06:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:06:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because that's something we're learning now.
• 1:06:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: So you're brain learned that when you need somebody the most, they're not going to be there.
• 1:06:25
  [UNKNOWN]: Yeah.
• 1:06:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's something that's most of our memories are memories of memories that get the become exponential over time.
• 1:06:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: They're not accurate for the most part.
• 1:06:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Even eyewitness testimony from hours ago is pretty inaccurate with regard to eye, color, hair, color, shirt like that.
• 1:06:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: We don't remember the memory, not the actual thing.
• 1:06:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: So it gets reinforced over and over over time and then all of a sudden you're an adult and you have this you have this instinct not to trust institutional authority from people who care about you Right or something like that and it maps its way onto all the rest of your life and it gets in the way of a lot of stuff right it turns you from a skeptic into a cynic which is not a good thing to be yeah
• 1:07:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: interesting yeah cuz um yeah no luckily nothing in childhood uh it's some things as an adult pissed off about or whatever and uh yeah you're married right yeah married uh long time yeah and that's so that one of the things I'd but I'm like if you really want to know how you are yeah or if I'd want to know I'd talk to the spouse
• 1:07:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: Let's let's have a real conversation with us about so I'm not saying that would happen.
• 1:07:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's like oh, I have over the years.
• 1:07:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, because I think it I think that's healthy and especially when somebody outside of you if you know I'm good to go man fucking good Let me talk to your wife I'm not saying that she would say anything different but a lot of times it's like well He does did we have to you know there's there's some other things for sure for sure and and I think look especially if you're in a long you've been in one a long relationship where it's just like
• 1:07:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: There's ups and downs and everything else, but at the end of the day, you love each other and you're like, oh, great.
• 1:07:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: How do I help you with this or how do we work out this and you try to figure it out?
• 1:08:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: Otherwise, you can fail.
• 1:08:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: You can have a failed relationship real quick.
• 1:08:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, it's just like I do.
• 1:08:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: Sorry, man.
• 1:08:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's not going to happen, bro.
• 1:08:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm not trying to talking to doing psychedelics ever.
• 1:08:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: What is the thing?
• 1:08:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: When I was, I was like college, for example, right?
• 1:08:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: Mushrooms.
• 1:08:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: I loved all this shit, so it was, yeah, it was fun, man.
• 1:08:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: It was a lot of fun, but I also look back of, I think the reason it was so fun was I didn't have a car in the world.
• 1:08:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: So like I didn't have any responsibilities.
• 1:08:37
  [SPEAKER_03]: I didn't have
• 1:08:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: to put food on the table or pay a mortgage or anything else.
• 1:08:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: So I was able to do it and be freer.
• 1:08:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then I did it, I remember doing it like later, let's call it five, six years later, right?
• 1:08:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:08:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: At that point, it already had like a production company and shit, and I was already making stuff, and I was like, and I did mushrooms again for the first time in a while, because I had so much responsibility.
• 1:09:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: I was thinking about shit that I didn't really want to think about on mushrooms.
• 1:09:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:09:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: And that's what I was like fucking aim, man, dude.
• 1:09:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know anything about work.
• 1:09:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: I mean, the woods right now are mushrooms.
• 1:09:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: I want to think about seven to good time.
• 1:09:12
  [SPEAKER_03]: You see something fucking melt in front of me.
• 1:09:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't want to think about it.
• 1:09:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's a lack of intentionality though.
• 1:09:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you know what you're doing, you go in expecting something like that.
• 1:09:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then you learn to understand what time is, right?
• 1:09:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's fake.
• 1:09:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: All this shit is fake.
• 1:09:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Everything's happening all the same time always, essentially.
• 1:09:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: and you have to choose what you focus on.
• 1:09:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: The first thing you've got to master is yourself.
• 1:09:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that's like breaking yourself down like that is the best way to learn how to do it.
• 1:09:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: Just in the same way that like getting fucked up physically teaches you that you can go wave harder than you really thought you could.
• 1:09:46
  [SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
• 1:09:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like, once you people know this, I think, institutionally after the experience hit, but before they have no idea.
• 1:09:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Somebody that's only run like a mile or two in high school,
• 1:09:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: or whatever during gym.
• 1:10:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: I have no idea what their body is really capable of.
• 1:10:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: Once you run five, you can run ten.
• 1:10:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm telling you.
• 1:10:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: As long as your body can keep up and you have the calories to burn, your body will just keep going as long as you decide to keep it going.
• 1:10:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: Man, I'm so glad you've brought this up.
• 1:10:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: So I was in, that's my kids love going to the movies and we usually go every weekend and whatever it is, right?
• 1:10:21
  [SPEAKER_03]: Cool.
• 1:10:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oldest is starting to want to see like horror movies like he's in middle school or whatever, right?
• 1:10:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: So it's horror movies in fucking hot cheetos for some reason.
• 1:10:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, yes.
• 1:10:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't remember blaming hot cheetos.
• 1:10:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: I don't remember giving a fuck about cheetos, but now it's like the hottest thing they can find to put in their mouth.
• 1:10:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yes.
• 1:10:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't understand the same thing.
• 1:10:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: My daughter.
• 1:10:41
  [SPEAKER_03]: So with that kind of team are we in YouTube today?
• 1:10:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: We are fuck.
• 1:10:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: I wish we could play this trailer.
• 1:10:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: For forget what you think politically about Stephen King for a second.
• 1:10:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: He really is one of the greatest writers and storytellers of all time.
• 1:10:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: And there was a movie that I saw a trailer for that was so basic.
• 1:10:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's such a great concept.
• 1:11:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: And the trailer looks like such a great execution.
• 1:11:03
  [SPEAKER_03]: I was like, God damn it.
• 1:11:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: And it's called the Long Walk.
• 1:11:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
• 1:11:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: And it is, they look like police officers.
• 1:11:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know what the real story is.
• 1:11:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: And so I see the movie.
• 1:11:12
  [SPEAKER_03]: And all they're doing is following these fifteen kids down on a road.
• 1:11:16
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's the story is kind of like a hunger game situation.
• 1:11:18
  [SPEAKER_01]: It's kind of like that same set up.
• 1:11:20
  [SPEAKER_03]: And so if you stop walking, yeah, you get killed.
• 1:11:22
  [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, although I will say even though it sounds like that, the book is from nineteen seventy five.
• 1:11:26
  [SPEAKER_01]: So it predates hunger games by quite a bit.
• 1:11:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, we'll look.
• 1:11:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: Everything he does and this is what pisses me off about Steven King.
• 1:11:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: he's probably one of the greatest minds of all time as far as writing goes and like god damn it man like all of these have been turned into amazing movies and all this other shit but like as this trailer is going on if you if you're not watching it you'll see these kids that like I mean the one the first kid gets his head blown off you're like oh fuck then then all the other kids know it's real yeah was it keep walking
• 1:11:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: to your point, Dan.
• 1:11:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: Um, that fucking, you don't know how far you can go.
• 1:12:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: This one kid's got a broken ankle, and it's just he's bleeding out of his leg and everything else.
• 1:12:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: But he keeps walking and he keeps walking.
• 1:12:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: I would watch, and I don't know what the answer is, because I didn't read that book Bob, but like, I would watch just that to see who was mentally tough enough.
• 1:12:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: to keep going and how many fucking miles that actually was.
• 1:12:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: Well, that's how we always conceptualize mental toughness, right?
• 1:12:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: Is the ability to endure physical pain?
• 1:12:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:12:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: The ability to endure psychological distress is a much greater test of your actual mental resilience, right?
• 1:12:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: a lot of people can do one and can't do the other, but it's the same thing.
• 1:12:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: You just haven't fucking mapped it over there.
• 1:12:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, fucking looking word.
• 1:12:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: Most people have a hard time.
• 1:12:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: They're scared shitless of looking inward.
• 1:12:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: They can fucking endure the physical stuff.
• 1:12:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, fucking hard as fuck.
• 1:12:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: Right?
• 1:12:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's when you can take a look on honest, a real fucking look inside yourself and whatever that means and progress past you'll pass that and say and just be really fucking honest with yourself.
• 1:13:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Right?
• 1:13:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's hard for people to do that and I understand why it scares a shit out of them.
• 1:13:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, you know?
• 1:13:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, because you're worried that you could change one way or the other at least I am I guess.
• 1:13:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: You're worried you can change one way or the other where you're like
• 1:13:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh fuck man, I don't think that was that bad.
• 1:13:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and now it's making it worse.
• 1:13:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I mean, it's not even that bad.
• 1:13:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's just sort of afraid of what they might find.
• 1:13:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I don't know.
• 1:13:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: Danny probably more articulate way of describing that, but yeah, I mean, you know, we have
• 1:13:33
  [SPEAKER_04]: The different people have called a different things, a spark, a way of, there's a bunch of names for it, right?
• 1:13:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: But it's the self, whatever that happens to be.
• 1:13:42
  [SPEAKER_04]: And there is a physical version of it that we don't fully understand.
• 1:13:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: But personally, I think it's a physical object in the next, like the fourth spatial dimension, that's why I think.
• 1:13:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're not going to get into too much of that because it's too complicated, but whatever it is,
• 1:14:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: That is you, because it's not your body.
• 1:14:03
  [SPEAKER_04]: Like your physical body is not you.
• 1:14:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 1:14:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: And the way that you know that is every two to ten years, depending on your level of exercise and health, every atom in your body is different.
• 1:14:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: Literally everyone, your brain, your eyes, your teeth, fingernails, everything's the way your fingernails are dead.
• 1:14:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: Everything is different, right?
• 1:14:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: So it's not can't be your physical body because that is constantly getting replaced.
• 1:14:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: There's something else that is you.
• 1:14:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that is the thing that we hold onto in the moments of great stress.
• 1:14:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: You'll notice that if you do some of these heavy psychedelics, your world will shrink down to a one dot, right?
• 1:14:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that's who you are, that thing.
• 1:14:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then when you you project all this stuff onto it in your daily life, right?
• 1:14:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're brain that's solving all these problems all the time and taking in all this data.
• 1:14:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: You have an idea of who you are.
• 1:14:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm a father, husband, I'm a fucking Catholic, whatever the fuck it is.
• 1:14:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: It doesn't matter.
• 1:14:52
  [SPEAKER_04]: Everybody's got that whole thing.
• 1:14:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you have this people that are
• 1:15:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: People that haven't truly faced themselves have a very flimsy and in my opinion, fraudulent view of who they are the human being, right?
• 1:15:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: And people who have not tested themselves are the same.
• 1:15:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: So once you're able to look at yourself in the mirror and say, and acknowledge, and I think this is a really important part of life.
• 1:15:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: You have to be able to simultaneously appreciate something for what it offers and then criticize it for what it costs.
• 1:15:28
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know what I mean?
• 1:15:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that's externally, but also you have to do that internally.
• 1:15:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: We're very good at doing it externally sometimes.
• 1:15:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: Internally we have a problem with that.
• 1:15:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you're able to do that internally and do a real review of yourself, you can chip away the parts that you don't like through your own effort, which makes it yours, makes you belong to yourself, which is locking, and that's the ultimate right of properties yourself.
• 1:15:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then you're able to amplify the things that are good.
• 1:15:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: Now you're getting something, now you're a real person.
• 1:15:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: Otherwise you're an NPC, you're a non-player character, my opinion.
• 1:16:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you haven't, if you haven't really looked at yourself wrong in the mirror and said, you know what, this about me sucks, and I'm gonna fucking change it.
• 1:16:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: Then you're not even a real person to me.
• 1:16:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I agree.
• 1:16:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, I had some of that.
• 1:16:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, go ahead.
• 1:16:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 1:16:16
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's talking about ego, right?
• 1:16:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: A lot of things that you go and I don't mean egotistical just that I am this I am that I'm this is who this is who the narrative that I think about right the thoughts about about me right and so one thing it's interesting.
• 1:16:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'll just
• 1:16:30
  [SPEAKER_05]: Twenty seconds.
• 1:16:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: Meditation is really interesting because what it allows you to do is start to see and observe your thoughts as other things other happenings in your life.
• 1:16:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know like I don't know birds chirping and fucking all these things It's just your thoughts are just happenings are there and then they're gone, right?
• 1:16:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: But it's what how we identify ourselves It's how we we look at ourselves and during meditation if you can observe your thoughts and most people believe they are their thoughts But if you can observe them who's doing the observing
• 1:16:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: The question is, it's your true self, not your made up storyline, right?
• 1:17:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: And it's kind of an interesting perspective.
• 1:17:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, so then one of the things you experience with heavy doses, like, when I say heavy doses, I mean heroic plus of psilocybin or ibagand or ayahuasca, something called ego death, right?
• 1:17:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's like the death of what you thought was yourself.
• 1:17:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: the shell right you you basically have cracked the egg and you see that I am the yolk inside I'm not this fucking shell with stuff inside of it anymore um and that's uh that that's a scary thing for people I think oh yeah what if I find out the most beautiful thing if you
• 1:17:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: It is.
• 1:17:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, so this is this upbringing back the adliery and positive reframing.
• 1:17:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can crack that open and see it and your concern might be what if I don't like what I see.
• 1:17:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: And that's a legitimate concern, I guess.
• 1:17:50
  [SPEAKER_04]: But the real solution to that is
• 1:17:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: Instead of saying, what if I don't like what I see, saying, if I don't like what I see, I'm going to change that.
• 1:17:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can control that.
• 1:17:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: That is yours to control you own it.
• 1:18:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: The only thing you actually own in life is your attitude and your effort.
• 1:18:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: That can be applied directly to oneself.
• 1:18:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: And once you realize that part of it, that's the intentionality that I talk about going into these things.
• 1:18:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: When I tell people, like, hey, you're going to see some shit that you might not like, but you're a fucking janitor with a fucking broom in a dust pan.
• 1:18:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's your job to go in there and clean that shit up.
• 1:18:23
  [SPEAKER_04]: So that's the way you got to think about it.
• 1:18:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, and I will say this.
• 1:18:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: Luckily, I'm pretty good at recognizing what my faults are, weaknesses and strengths and everything else.
• 1:18:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: So I feel
• 1:18:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: pretty good, like in regards to that.
• 1:18:38
  [SPEAKER_03]: Relationship and all other stuff.
• 1:18:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: Things I worry about are mostly business shit.
• 1:18:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: Like, that's about it, but I don't really know what that could change.
• 1:18:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: I do in Iowa, Oscar, I regain at this point in my life.
• 1:18:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: like just me personally.
• 1:18:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:18:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:18:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: Luckily because I didn't have anything bad happened as a kid or whatever.
• 1:18:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: So yeah.
• 1:18:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: There's there are things that are financial versus like, hey, you can't help me with that, you know?
• 1:19:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'll do that.
• 1:19:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'll do that.
• 1:19:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: I began whatever, but can you?
• 1:19:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: Can you just write that check for that thing?
• 1:19:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: Because I really need more self throughout there.
• 1:19:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:19:12
  [SPEAKER_03]: Shit like that.
• 1:19:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:19:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's just kind of softens how you go about those interactions.
• 1:19:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: I think a lot of people couldn't be puppets, right?
• 1:19:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: And Dan was talking, he was leading this a little bit ago, where...
• 1:19:27
  [SPEAKER_05]: whether it's traffic, whether it's somebody fucking driving down, fits you, that driving thirty miles an hour, twenty miles an hour and you're just like, what the fuck?
• 1:19:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, it affects your day, right?
• 1:19:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: It affects you, not you don't put Sam to say it in general.
• 1:19:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: No.
• 1:19:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, other people, more whether it's an interaction with some of you doing business with and how it happens, and it fucking gets, you know, causes breaches.
• 1:19:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: I think one thing that psychedelics can do, right?
• 1:19:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: And again, this is, this is your,
• 1:19:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: You guys have personalities up here and I get it, right?
• 1:19:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: Throughout the rest of the day, if things are affecting you, that are affecting your moods, that affect how you interact with your wife, your kids, or just you're like catch yourself getting fucking pissed off.
• 1:20:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: Psychedelics and the work afterwards can absolutely soften all that shit.
• 1:20:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: It can be like, well, what can I do?
• 1:20:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 1:20:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: Or the interaction with business people.
• 1:20:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know, it can just make the relationships and the interactions a lot more fucking, just neutral.
• 1:20:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, right.
• 1:20:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:20:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: And so I have like what one of the strategies that I learned is I've got.
• 1:20:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Despite having no emotions physically, right?
• 1:20:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:20:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: I do feel a lot of anger from time to time.
• 1:20:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I was worried back on the day about I guess you say losing the edge.
• 1:20:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think that's something a lot of military if you worry about because anger is what keeps me warm at night.
• 1:20:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know what I mean?
• 1:20:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, like if I if I hear somebody fucking around with my door and my families inside I need to be able to turn that up to eleven and murder everybody.
• 1:20:55
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, and that's not something I'm even interested in giving up much less willing to so
• 1:21:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, if you're going to carry that around, you're going to have a pressure release valve.
• 1:21:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: Otherwise, you're going to be a punt all the time.
• 1:21:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're going to be irritable because stuffing negative, I guess stuffing that down all the time can make you feel negative.
• 1:21:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: So you have to find strategies to release it.
• 1:21:19
  [SPEAKER_04]: But whatever it is, that's going to be healthy for you.
• 1:21:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's not going to be the same for everybody else, but it's okay to be angry and it's okay to express anger.
• 1:21:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I think that you should find a way to do that in the moment if it makes sense.
• 1:21:35
  [SPEAKER_04]: For example, you get in a fight with your significant other, whoever it happens to be or somebody else, like use,
• 1:21:47
  [SPEAKER_04]: Train yourself to use, and it's fine to use an abrasive tone in my opinion.
• 1:21:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: What's not fine is to say mean shit to people, right?
• 1:21:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because you don't know if, like, I just train yourself to immediately assume they didn't do what they did on purpose.
• 1:22:07
  [SPEAKER_04]: I think it's a good thing.
• 1:22:08
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's a positive reframe.
• 1:22:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then we're like, hey, that fucking piss me off.
• 1:22:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: What you just did fucking really piss me off.
• 1:22:14
  [SPEAKER_04]: and then sit in it, sit right there in your anger, and live in it for a minute, and then let it pass, and then move on with your fucking day.
• 1:22:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: Because if you let it fucking stack hour after hour, day after day, month after month, you will become a better piece of shit.
• 1:22:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: And you are now being let around by the nose by your own emotions that you're in control of, technically, which is fucking stupid.
• 1:22:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: That doesn't make any sense.
• 1:22:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: So one of the things you do, I do, does it seem like I've lost my edge?
• 1:22:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: I've done more psychedelic drugs than anybody you've ever met in your life.
• 1:22:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, but I think if I'm being totally honest, I think you're able to control your mind better than a lot of people.
• 1:22:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Why do you think that is?
• 1:23:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: because I tested my mind over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over
• 1:23:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: losing the edge, I think you're able, you're mind is stronger than everybody else's because you're able to separate it inside your mind, whereas I don't think there's a lot of people that are.
• 1:23:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's a discipline.
• 1:23:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, I wasn't born able to do that.
• 1:23:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: You don't think so?
• 1:23:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: No, I know so.
• 1:23:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm the, it's me.
• 1:23:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, my nickname to the seal teams is you should be red-wrecked.
• 1:23:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: Why?
• 1:23:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: Cause I see it so fucking pissed.
• 1:23:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, yeah.
• 1:23:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 1:23:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I'm not a pissed guy anymore.
• 1:23:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: Any more.
• 1:23:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's all training.
• 1:23:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, but I can see it like an in you.
• 1:23:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Obviously.
• 1:23:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:23:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:23:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: At any moment dude, you could go full fuck.
• 1:24:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's about to fucking come out right now.
• 1:24:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: Cool, ladies and gentlemen.
• 1:24:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: And just go right through the goddamn wall and I understand that.
• 1:24:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: But do you think it was psychedelics?
• 1:24:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: You personally?
• 1:24:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, okay.
• 1:24:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, but I did it intentionally.
• 1:24:11
  [SPEAKER_04]: I did it with that in mind.
• 1:24:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right.
• 1:24:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know, I started very young before the military, even.
• 1:24:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: So for me, I just did it for fun recreation, you know, going to a concert or something like that.
• 1:24:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, two totally different things.
• 1:24:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: However, I've seen it help a lot of people.
• 1:24:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I kind of view it the same way as I view religion.
• 1:24:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not besides Muslim.
• 1:24:33
  [SPEAKER_03]: fuck that but every every other religion like whatever you believe in is there for you spiritually or you know same thing with psychedelics that gets you through the day and you're a good person everybody else yeah awesome that's really all the matters at the end of the day yeah to me where it's just like all right cool man so
• 1:24:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't care what anybody's religion is or anything else, even though I'm not religious.
• 1:24:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: I don't care if people do psychedelics to change things.
• 1:24:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: However, you have to change yourself and be a great person every day.
• 1:25:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: Cool.
• 1:25:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: And I think, but you also want to be capable, right?
• 1:25:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: You don't want to like a do-eye man as useless.
• 1:25:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can't, that is not acceptable.
• 1:25:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: So it's like, you know, we look at it.
• 1:25:17
  [SPEAKER_04]: What are the ways again back to this neural pathway thing?
• 1:25:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can build institutional triggers in your mind that if I need so I recognize here a few moods I need to be in.
• 1:25:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to get tested and I'm going to feel fear or I'm going to feel anger in times where it's appropriate but not acceptable, right?
• 1:25:36
  [SPEAKER_04]: So I'm going to feel my kid says something fucked up.
• 1:25:38
  [SPEAKER_04]: I'm going to feel anger about that.
• 1:25:40
  [SPEAKER_04]: but my approach to him or her can't be anger.
• 1:25:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: It has to be the right approach because this is my duty to serve this child and make them a good adult.
• 1:25:48
  [SPEAKER_04]: So, what can I plant in my mind to end that moment and go back to this meditation stuff?
• 1:25:53
  [SPEAKER_04]: What can I plant in my mind that I can reach for in my tool belt and put center stage that's going to change my attitude just like that?
• 1:26:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right?
• 1:26:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: So,
• 1:26:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: an easy way to think about it is something you you're as an actor you know this some when you got a cry on camera show a motion on camera you'll reach back for a memory from your real life this is what makes actors so fucking crazy over time because they keep doing it over and over again trying to get re-inforcing this fucking bad thing in a way it's not doing it because of that
• 1:26:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: yeah so but it is something you can do so it doesn't come up as much in your regular life you don't need to be angry or emotional much in your regular life for the most part for most people but you should have think about the thing that makes you angriest in the world that makes you physically angry because physical anger, somatic anger makes your fucking vision narrow and if you can operate in that environment you have superhuman capabilities to some degree everything looks like it's moving and slow you're moving a real time but your brain is moving and slow motion and your fucking bow
• 1:26:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: I mean, if you haven't experienced it, it's really hard to understand what we're talking about, but the bomb goes off and all of a sudden you're up fucking shooting.
• 1:26:58
  [SPEAKER_04]: You don't even know what happened.
• 1:26:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's your brain reacting.
• 1:27:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can build in these triggers.
• 1:27:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: It doesn't have to just be military shit.
• 1:27:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can build in these triggers where
• 1:27:06
  [SPEAKER_04]: The kid mouths off to his mom, and that's your fucking wife.
• 1:27:09
  [SPEAKER_04]: You don't talk to my wife like that, but it's a child, right?
• 1:27:12
  [SPEAKER_04]: So, anger is first, and then your trigger kicks in.
• 1:27:16
  [SPEAKER_04]: Right, and you're like, all right, let's fucking handle this, right?
• 1:27:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: You can build these things for yourself.
• 1:27:20
  [SPEAKER_04]: You just have to be intentional about it, and that's what the drug helps with my opinion.
• 1:27:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I tell you, it was interesting going from being a seal, not having that psychedelics, to a few years ago, after having done the psychedelics a few times, and then going over to Ukraine, combat was
• 1:27:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: completely fucking different experience.
• 1:27:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, we should be doing this for guys Before they even start fighting yeah, I mean just that the the awareness the amount of being present I know it sounds cliche type shit, but I want it the first mission we went on right?
• 1:27:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: mortars cross the border fucking crush and shit right and I just remember going back afterwards it was just like this it wasn't like the first time being in combat where I absolutely had a little bit of that ton of vision in the more ops I went out started building up right home when shit was going on like we were talking about
• 1:28:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: This one was just peer-fucking presents and words, right?
• 1:28:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I got back and I remember talking to some of the guys that we really talked about and some other folks and I'm like, dudes are addicted to combat, okay?
• 1:28:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: Some people are, right?
• 1:28:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: At least they'd maybe some high levels of fucking video.
• 1:28:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: The guys I know wanted, wanted to go back to it.
• 1:28:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I kind of looked at them like, I wonder why that is, you know?
• 1:28:28
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I was like, I think it's because it's there so fucking in the moment in present that it's like surfing.
• 1:28:34
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's one of those times in their lives where they
• 1:28:37
  [SPEAKER_05]: They're not thinking about any other other troubleshitting or fucking life.
• 1:28:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, yeah.
• 1:28:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: And they are just fucking at the height of the flow state type shit, right?
• 1:28:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:28:45
  [SPEAKER_05]: And it was pretty interesting, um, experiencing that.
• 1:28:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I think, by the way, to that point, uh, when you come back here after doing all that shit, especially if you love it.
• 1:28:55
  [SPEAKER_03]: You know, and then just walking around and in fucking HEB.
• 1:28:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm fucking worried about it.
• 1:29:01
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, you know, like it's like that to me would be the biggest mine fuck of all time.
• 1:29:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, where you come back and it's just like, you know, fucking no shit.
• 1:29:09
  [SPEAKER_03]: None of you people fucking have any idea.
• 1:29:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:29:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: And you look around and everybody in the grocery store and you're like, yeah.
• 1:29:14
  [SPEAKER_03]: What the fuck?
• 1:29:15
  [SPEAKER_04]: But that's another positive reframe trigger.
• 1:29:18
  [SPEAKER_04]: So you're a warrior on a Patriot to say, your first negative instinct is to say, you don't know.
• 1:29:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: And then you're the positive trigger should be good.
• 1:29:29
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:29:30
  [SPEAKER_04]: Absolutely.
• 1:29:31
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's why I did it.
• 1:29:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yep.
• 1:29:32
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:29:34
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then for me, yeah, when I stood over the four tours of Italy at Olive Garden, I was a waiter
• 1:29:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: You will never know what the hell that I went through.
• 1:29:42
  [SPEAKER_03]: So like yeah.
• 1:29:43
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, microwave and food in the back.
• 1:29:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, no, it was fresh.
• 1:29:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, it was fresh.
• 1:29:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: There's not.
• 1:29:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's a like full restaurant.
• 1:29:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, I love the love.
• 1:29:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: I still live all of Garden City.
• 1:29:50
  [SPEAKER_03]: I promise you, they're not going to shit on fresh thing.
• 1:29:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:29:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: I'm not going to shit on all of Garden.
• 1:29:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay.
• 1:29:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: My daughter's favorite place to go.
• 1:29:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Oh, man.
• 1:29:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: There's endless bread stick.
• 1:29:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's how it's about to say.
• 1:29:59
  [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
• 1:29:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: Turns out there isn't in.
• 1:30:00
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's called prison.
• 1:30:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: Learn that the hard way.
• 1:30:03
  [SPEAKER_00]: Now get it.
• 1:30:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, but yeah, I understand.
• 1:30:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: And I think that's what's fascinating about it all of it.
• 1:30:10
  [SPEAKER_03]: And again, I, whatever you need to heal anybody out in this life as long as you're not hurt anybody else.
• 1:30:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:30:17
  [SPEAKER_03]: Awesome, man.
• 1:30:18
  [SPEAKER_03]: I just want great people and neighbors and community and all that stuff.
• 1:30:23
  [SPEAKER_03]: And psychedelics and all that stuff helped a lot of people.
• 1:30:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah.
• 1:30:26
  [SPEAKER_04]: I would say stop thinking about it as healing and start thinking about it as getting stronger.
• 1:30:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, for sure.
• 1:30:32
  [SPEAKER_04]: people like if you if you're like I'm going to go do this and heal myself.
• 1:30:36
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, as far as mentally you're physically like both.
• 1:30:39
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, like physical therapy and mental therapy are the same thing.
• 1:30:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: They're designed not to.
• 1:30:46
  [SPEAKER_04]: The physical therapy doesn't make your injury go away.
• 1:30:51
  [SPEAKER_04]: It makes you stronger and more capable dealing with it.
• 1:30:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, right.
• 1:30:54
  [SPEAKER_04]: The weight doesn't get lighter.
• 1:30:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: You get stronger.
• 1:30:56
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's life.
• 1:30:57
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's how it works.
• 1:30:58
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's a good way of putting it.
• 1:31:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: The healing part is kind of a negative connotation.
• 1:31:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: I think almost promotes victimhood.
• 1:31:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 1:31:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: Well, tell me about your company here because we got the T-shirts and all the... It's fun stuff here.
• 1:31:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:31:12
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's called Mercury Human Performance.
• 1:31:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's a...
• 1:31:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: I don't spell that for the audience, because this will be an audio as well.
• 1:31:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, for sure.
• 1:31:19
  [SPEAKER_05]: M-E-R-C-U-R-Y.
• 1:31:20
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
• 1:31:21
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm mercury human performance.
• 1:31:22
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
• 1:31:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: I spell that too if you need.
• 1:31:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, no.
• 1:31:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, no.
• 1:31:25
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, it's here in dripping springs and it's cool.
• 1:31:29
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's been a while.
• 1:31:30
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's the website right here.
• 1:31:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: Okay, cool.
• 1:31:32
  [SPEAKER_05]: So it is allowing me to do what I've loved my entire life.
• 1:31:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: I get to do hippy shit and I get to do fucking seal shit, right?
• 1:31:38
  [SPEAKER_05]: And it's kind of a marion of those, those two things.
• 1:31:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: There's forty of them, a state side around the world, and but I'll say this, it's only been available on military installations, like the Marines Army Special Operations Federal Enforcement up for the last fifteen years.
• 1:31:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: And there's I think it doesn't have them overseas as well.
• 1:31:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: This is the first one that's available to the public.
• 1:31:56
  [SPEAKER_05]: The one the citizens.
• 1:31:57
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, so what I'm looking at now, uh, obviously you're not shooting live ammo.
• 1:32:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: Nope.
• 1:32:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: And I, I was, did you see the guns?
• 1:32:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 1:32:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 1:32:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 1:32:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's all the guns.
• 1:32:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: I'm actually at the gun.
• 1:32:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: I can shoot, but we've got a gun here and you can kind of see how it recoils.
• 1:32:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: I don't know if you, uh,
• 1:32:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: Oh, really?
• 1:32:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, Josh, you got it.
• 1:32:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: Bring it over here.
• 1:32:12
  [SPEAKER_03]: Bring it over.
• 1:32:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: Bring it over.
• 1:32:13
  [SPEAKER_05]: I don't even see it.
• 1:32:14
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, it's an infrared laser inside a barrel, right?
• 1:32:17
  [SPEAKER_05]: And then we have like, fifteen infrared cameras that that pick up the shots is very ballistic.
• 1:32:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: Thanks, man.
• 1:32:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: It looks real.
• 1:32:27
  [SPEAKER_03]: Same weight, too.
• 1:32:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, not in a while, but yes.
• 1:32:41
  [SPEAKER_05]: to disrupt the site picture.
• 1:32:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: So again, it's a human performance optimization company, which it is about, it is about worksmanship and we, you know, one of my other employees, it's awesome to get a four or two six guy.
• 1:32:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: We do teach all the tactical shit.
• 1:33:00
  [SPEAKER_05]: We do teach all the tactical stuff.
• 1:33:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: We teach marksmanship, shooting all the things.
• 1:33:05
  [SPEAKER_05]: But it's hundreds of drills that help people with cognitive development, with decision-making, with
• 1:33:12
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, neutralizing emotion, right?
• 1:33:15
  [SPEAKER_05]: We talking, you know, there's the five pillars of human performance.
• 1:33:18
  [SPEAKER_05]: There's cognitive coherence, there's motion coherence, there's memory, there's emotional modulation and adaptability under stress.
• 1:33:24
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's all these things that the drills inherently teach and then us as observers, we can help people develop those things too.
• 1:33:31
  [SPEAKER_05]: everybody gets pushed a little at past the edge for their own ability.
• 1:33:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: And so again, it's kind of, you know, my partner Chris, I say we're just trying to fucking make better humans.
• 1:33:39
  [SPEAKER_05]: You know, if we can use these drills and there's a lot of vestibular therapy involved with this stuff, too.
• 1:33:44
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:33:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Um, that is dope.
• 1:33:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: We're looking at the website now.
• 1:33:47
  [SPEAKER_05]: This is dope shit, man.
• 1:33:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: I guess a fucking go here every day.
• 1:33:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: It's eight minutes down the road.
• 1:33:51
  [SPEAKER_05]: You guys check it out if you want.
• 1:33:52
  [SPEAKER_03]: That's amazing, yeah.
• 1:33:53
  [SPEAKER_05]: Everybody comes in here.
• 1:33:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: I mean, Alex Jones was coming in, fucking dang ill.
• 1:33:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: You know Sean, that's right.
• 1:34:01
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, Sean's a bunch of people in the frame.
• 1:34:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, like that dude.
• 1:34:04
  [SPEAKER_04]: Yeah, so it's another one of these things where you have to test and push yourself beyond your limit.
• 1:34:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: And this is a problem that happens in this psychedelic community.
• 1:34:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: There's a lot of, I wouldn't even call him Grifters, I think they're stupid and weak to be honest, but these lifelong healing journeys
• 1:34:21
  [SPEAKER_04]: all this stupid nonsense, because there's two options if you frame it in that way.
• 1:34:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: You're either going to be a career rehabilitator, like you're either going to spend the rest of your life trying to heal.
• 1:34:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: or you're going to convince yourself that you can't be hurt.
• 1:34:41
  [SPEAKER_04]: Those are the only two logical pathways if you think about it that way.
• 1:34:44
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's the ego, right?
• 1:34:45
  [SPEAKER_04]: The ego has to be deflated, so you're always a victim, or has to be inflated, or this I am God thing that you see a lot out of these people, or it's like, you want to teach yourself not that you can't get punched, but it's fine if you do.
• 1:34:59
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what you're looking for.
• 1:35:00
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's called resilience, right?
• 1:35:02
  [SPEAKER_04]: And if you're able to
• 1:35:05
  [SPEAKER_04]: If you're, it's, it's the difference between catastrophizing and being resilient, right?
• 1:35:10
  [SPEAKER_04]: And cognitive behavioral therapy that would call it catastrophizing.
• 1:35:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: This is what we've trained people in the last generation to do, but it all of the things that you do in your life that are difficult.
• 1:35:22
  [SPEAKER_04]: are important to make you a better person.
• 1:35:24
  [SPEAKER_04]: That's what makes you a better person.
• 1:35:25
  [SPEAKER_04]: It's challenging yourself.
• 1:35:27
  [SPEAKER_04]: Being able to physically do it, whether it's something like this or just going to the fucking gym and playing wreckball or something like that, you gotta do something physical.
• 1:35:34
  [SPEAKER_04]: For a dude, you have to do something physical that's competitive.
• 1:35:37
  [SPEAKER_04]: Even if you're only competing against yourself.
• 1:35:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, that's amazing.
• 1:35:39
  [SPEAKER_03]: Where are you guys at?
• 1:35:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: You see your eight miles of the road?
• 1:35:43
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, eight minutes down the road.
• 1:35:44
  [SPEAKER_05]: Literally just down fit to you kind of like jester king.
• 1:35:46
  [SPEAKER_05]: There's beer.
• 1:35:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, my middle son goes to a place called Hot Ground, over on fits you over there.
• 1:35:53
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's not a basketball place.
• 1:35:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, it's ironic.
• 1:35:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's set up like basic training.
• 1:35:58
  [SPEAKER_03]: Okay, and you just do this obstacle course like all day long and the guys who run it former military and it kind of teach the kids, you know, rope up the side of the ramp and then climb over the walls.
• 1:36:13
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yes, but it looks a lot like what you guys do and it's over on fits you as well Okay, I see all these buildings You never know what's in them and holy shit.
• 1:36:23
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's wild people when we fucking do the reveal like open the doors when it's it's cool on video But when you see I mean just how bad acid is and how we know people are they dope is shit and like you drive down fits you and you see all these buildings and they look very similar to ours, you know, it's just like
• 1:36:39
  [SPEAKER_02]: All right, we know one side.
• 1:36:40
  [SPEAKER_03]: No, you know, you're like, well, what the fuck am I going to get here?
• 1:36:43
  [SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, that's awesome, man.
• 1:36:45
  [SPEAKER_03]: This has been a blast.
• 1:36:46
  [SPEAKER_03]: Thank you for coming in.
• 1:36:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: I appreciate you guys, man.
• 1:36:48
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, for real.
• 1:36:49
  [SPEAKER_05]: One more time with your company.
• 1:36:50
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, so I'd mercury human performance.
• 1:36:52
  [SPEAKER_05]: And again, it's in dripping spring taxes.
• 1:36:54
  [SPEAKER_05]: First civilian gun fighter gym available to the public.
• 1:36:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: And it's been a blast and I appreciate you guys having me on that.
• 1:37:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:37:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: And where can people find you in social media?
• 1:37:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Either mercury human form.
• 1:37:06
  [SPEAKER_05]: Josh, was it mercury HP?
• 1:37:09
  [SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
• 1:37:10
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's me.
• 1:37:11
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's my personal one.
• 1:37:13
  [SPEAKER_04]: The website is mercuryhumanperformance.com.
• 1:37:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yep.
• 1:37:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:37:16
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then you got an Instagram of mercury human performance all the way out spelled together in all lower case.
• 1:37:24
  [SPEAKER_03]: Now's the point to show we get to the drinking bro with a week.
• 1:37:26
  [SPEAKER_03]: Someone who has inspired you or helped you become the person you are today, who just like to give the drinking bro the week to.
• 1:37:33
  [SPEAKER_05]: John Stevens.
• 1:37:35
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's a former.
• 1:37:36
  [SPEAKER_05]: He's my surrogate dad grown up and he was my martial arts instructor.
• 1:37:40
  [SPEAKER_05]: He took an interest in me.
• 1:37:42
  [SPEAKER_05]: I competed around the world and martial arts doing karate tournaments and shit and breaking boards.
• 1:37:48
  [SPEAKER_05]: But not just like you know, tournament fighting stuff but as a kid and he's a he's a pretty amazing man.
• 1:37:55
  [SPEAKER_05]: So he and thought about it.
• 1:37:57
  [SPEAKER_05]: But yeah, he's he's he's getting up there in age and and
• 1:38:01
  [SPEAKER_05]: that holds a special place in the heart.
• 1:38:02
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's awesome.
• 1:38:03
  [SPEAKER_05]: That's awesome.
• 1:38:04
  [SPEAKER_05]: Thanks, man.
• 1:38:04
  [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
• 1:38:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: And again, thank you for coming on.
• 1:38:06
  [SPEAKER_03]: This is a blast of a show today.
• 1:38:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: We appreciate it.
• 1:38:08
  [SPEAKER_03]: We appreciate you guys tuning in at home.
• 1:38:11
  [SPEAKER_03]: Go to Spotify, rate the show of five star.
• 1:38:15
  [SPEAKER_03]: This video will be up on Spotify on Sunday night, Delco.
• 1:38:19
  [SPEAKER_03]: It's a APM EST.
• 1:38:22
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then we're slowly uploading all the back catalog there.
• 1:38:25
  [SPEAKER_03]: I believe fake Ryan is over a thousand episodes.
• 1:38:28
  [SPEAKER_03]: Patreon will always be Patreon.
• 1:38:29
  [SPEAKER_03]: So, you know,
• 1:38:31
  [SPEAKER_03]: Whenever we put it up, we put it up, but don't have any plans for it in the meantime.
• 1:38:35
  [SPEAKER_03]: There's over like two thousand episodes, so it's gonna take them a while, and then we'll start to move across the network with the rest of Tetherball Academy media and upload all of those shows as well.
• 1:38:47
  [SPEAKER_03]: Then, hang out over to iTunes, right?
• 1:38:49
  [SPEAKER_03]: The show of five star and leave a quick review.
• 1:38:51
  [SPEAKER_03]: It is literally all the advertisers care about as you stupid fucking reviews.
• 1:38:54
  [SPEAKER_03]: Get over ten thousand, I'll shut the fuck up forever.
• 1:38:56
  [SPEAKER_03]: Spotify were over nine thousand eight hundred.
• 1:38:59
  [SPEAKER_03]: I think iTunes is somewhere around eight thousand.
• 1:39:02
  [SPEAKER_03]: And then I don't have to fucking do it anymore.
• 1:39:05
  [SPEAKER_03]: So yeah, dude, just go and do that, all right?
• 1:39:07
  [SPEAKER_03]: We appreciate it.