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Financial Red Flags in Relationships · Rock My Finances

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  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Rock my Finances show on k FORHD
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  Speaker 2: in finance. Join Powerhouse Jennifer josp CDFA CMC and private
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  Speaker 2: find out now. Here's your host and weekly friend, Jennifer Jose.
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  Speaker 3: Welcome back. Here we are again, Okay, if this one's
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  Speaker 3: going to be good financial red flags in relationships. Now,
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  Speaker 3: you might already be married and married for decades and decades,
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  Speaker 3: obviously this is a little to for you. But someone
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  Speaker 3: else newly in a relationship or attempting a new relationship,
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  Speaker 3: or maybe even wanting to just know about your kids
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  Speaker 3: and who your kids are going to be hooking up
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  Speaker 3: with and getting in relationships with. So it's always good information, right, Okay.
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  Speaker 3: The interesting thing about red flags is that we often
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  Speaker 3: don't see them because we're looking through the lens of hope. Right.
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  Speaker 3: We see potential, we see chemistry, we feel chemistry, we
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  Speaker 3: see possibilities, and sometimes we explain away behaviors that actually
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  Speaker 3: deserve a closer look. So, now let us be clear
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  Speaker 3: in this episode, we're not talking about judging people. We're
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  Speaker 3: talking about a way fareness because every one of us
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  Speaker 3: has our flaws, and some of my flaws might not
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  Speaker 3: bother you, but somebody else's flaws might bother me. Right,
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  Speaker 3: So there's always a good fit for the shoe, right.
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  Speaker 3: Every one of us has financial habits that we're all
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  Speaker 3: working on. We have all habits that we're working on.
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  Speaker 3: The goal is not perfection. The goal is understanding the
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  Speaker 3: differences between the grain flag, the pink flag, and the
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  Speaker 3: red flag. So green flags obviously go. Pink flags are
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  Speaker 3: kind of red, not quite sure, and the red flags
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  Speaker 3: are I don't think so. So let's talk about green
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  Speaker 3: flags first, because you know me, I like the positivity,
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  Speaker 3: I like the love part. So signs of financial health,
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  Speaker 3: let's start with the good stuff, behaviors that create trust
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  Speaker 3: and stability. A green flag doesn't mean someone is wealthy.
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  Speaker 3: A grain flag means that they are financially responsible and
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  Speaker 3: emotionally mature. Examples, maybe pays bills on time, talks openly
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  Speaker 3: about money, admits stakes, might even share some things that
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  Speaker 3: they've learned. Maybe has some financial goals. It's that you
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  Speaker 3: know I will be retiring so and so, or you
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  Speaker 3: know I'm buying a second house, or I'm buying a
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  Speaker 3: third house. Or I have a house, a beach house,
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  Speaker 3: and now I want a mountain house. I mean, all
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  Speaker 3: of these are responsibility things, right takes. Responsibility lives there
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  Speaker 3: within their means. I don't know how you could know
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  Speaker 3: that on the first dating things, but you know, respect
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  Speaker 3: your financial boundary doesn't pressure you financially when you get
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  Speaker 3: deeper into the relationship has a willingless willingless to learn, right,
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  Speaker 3: actually is willing to learn, like to hear you, to
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  Speaker 3: understand you, and to learn more. You might be able
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  Speaker 3: to teach someone like they can teach you something. Right,
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  Speaker 3: It's always nice to learn from your partner. But if
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  Speaker 3: nobody ever wants to learn anything from you, is not
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  Speaker 3: listening to anything that you're saying, I'm not sure about
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  Speaker 3: how that's going to work. So we definitely want someone
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  Speaker 3: to be willing to learn the way you do things.
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  Speaker 3: Notice none of these require a six figure income. If
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  Speaker 3: they just ask in interesting questions, okay, that's great. I
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  Speaker 3: love that there's no pressure financially. Like you know when
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  Speaker 3: you say, okay, I'm one that likes to be on time.
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  Speaker 3: If they respect that, okay, that's healthy. Right. I don't
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  Speaker 3: want to say you're not going to know if they're
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  Speaker 3: living within their means in the beginning, right, But when
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  Speaker 3: they take responsibility for like if you say, you know
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  Speaker 3: that's one of my triggers. You know, when you say
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  Speaker 3: you're going to call me by Friday to set up
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  Speaker 3: the date on Sunday, and then they don't do that.
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  Speaker 3: It's nice to say, you know that I would appreciate
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  Speaker 3: if you could do that, and they say, oh, yeah,
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  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. Next time, I will absolutely do that.
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  Speaker 3: I'm taking your time into consideration, and then they do
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  Speaker 3: it from now on. That's that's great, that's a great sign. Right,
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  Speaker 3: So here's some homework. Make a list of five green
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  Speaker 3: flags that are important to you, meaning what do you want? Honesty, responsibility, transparency, generosity,
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  Speaker 3: accountability do you want If you're a woman and you
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  Speaker 3: want to date men and you want them to pick
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  Speaker 3: up the tab that might be to you? Maybe you
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  Speaker 3: want to be flexing your individually and you only want
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  Speaker 3: to be splitting the tab whatever it might be like,
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  Speaker 3: is that happening? Write these things down. You want to
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  Speaker 3: talk about this before and then ask yourself do I
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  Speaker 3: demonstrate these traits myself? So what is someone else going
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  Speaker 3: to think of me and my money? Because healthy relationships
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  Speaker 3: usually start with becoming the type of partner we are seeking.
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  Speaker 3: So we want to look at ourselves. How do I
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  Speaker 3: betray myself financially to someone else, to a stranger? Okay,
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  Speaker 3: number two, we're going to talk about pink flag. These
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  Speaker 3: are areas that need more intrigue, I say, more curiosity,
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  Speaker 3: just a little bit more conversation. Pink flags are not
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  Speaker 3: deal breakers. They're not red flags, and they're not green
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  Speaker 3: flags because we're not sure what they are yet. They're
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  Speaker 3: just simply they deserve some attention. Example, significant student loans.
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  Speaker 3: They might be talking about, you know, all their student loans.
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  Speaker 3: They might be a doctor or a dentist or you
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  Speaker 3: know whatever they might be doing, and that's just a
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  Speaker 3: pink flag. Because if they have a great payment plan
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  Speaker 3: and they have goals and times that you know it's
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  Speaker 3: going to be paid off, that's great, but you might
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  Speaker 3: not know that in the beginning. A pink flag is
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  Speaker 3: a recent divorce or not even a complete divorce, right.
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  Speaker 3: I always say the first year after divorce you are
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  Speaker 3: completely someone different than you are doing the divorce, and
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  Speaker 3: the year after. So I would always give it at
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  Speaker 3: least a year after a divorce before I started really
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  Speaker 3: dating someone. Financial education gap, So what do they know,
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  Speaker 3: like you, if you're talking about something that you know
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  Speaker 3: about financial things and that they say they have no
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  Speaker 3: clue about that, Okay, that's that's okay. Not everybody knows everything,
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  Speaker 3: but if that happens often, that might be okay. I
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  Speaker 3: need to look at this a little bit more. Maybe
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  Speaker 3: they're the ostrich. Maybe they just don't even hear about money.
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  Speaker 3: You talk about money, That might be a pink flag.
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  Speaker 3: Different spending habits, like are they always going to want
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  Speaker 3: to go the cheap way out and you always want
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  Speaker 3: to go the five star? You know, there's got to
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  Speaker 3: be balanced. Is there balance? Or are you seeing things
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  Speaker 3: that you know they're they're driving like a really really
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  Speaker 3: really old old old car because they're so frugal and
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  Speaker 3: it's got miles and it's great, but you know, the
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  Speaker 3: mirror's fallen off and there's rips in the seats and
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  Speaker 3: you know, things like that when they might have the
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  Speaker 3: money that I'm not saying they don't have the money
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  Speaker 3: to fix it, but they might be just so frugal
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  Speaker 3: that they don't want to spend money on that. That
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  Speaker 3: might be telling you something that they're not putting their
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  Speaker 3: comfort first, and that might be different for you. So
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  Speaker 3: that is definitely a pink flag for someone. Different money priorities.
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  Speaker 3: Are they always going to, you know, the less inexpensive places,
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  Speaker 3: or are they always taking you to five star things
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  Speaker 3: and making you feel uncomfortable? Maybe someplace that you cannot
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  Speaker 3: do this thing so you would you know, you think
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  Speaker 3: of things to do like go on a picnic or
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  Speaker 3: cook a whole meal because you can't keep up with
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  Speaker 3: their wealth. I mean it could be that way as well, right,
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  Speaker 3: recovering from financial mistakes. I've met a lot of gentlemen
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  Speaker 3: that you know, had a divorce and they're saying they
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  Speaker 3: had to start all over after their divorce. Okay, that's
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  Speaker 3: not necessarily a red flag, but it's just something that
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  Speaker 3: we need to be aware of. Can they start all over?
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  Speaker 3: Can they recoup that? Can they live the life that
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  Speaker 3: they've wanted?
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  Speaker 1: Right?
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  Speaker 3: Credit challenges that they're actively fixing. Have they talked about
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  Speaker 3: I'm fixing my credit score? You know they have they
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  Speaker 3: you know, discussed that. Not necessarily a bad thing, credit score.
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  Speaker 3: I mean, as business owners, we always have credit that
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  Speaker 3: goes up and down. So that's just a pink flag
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  Speaker 3: to be aware of. Not necessarily dangerous, right, we just
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  Speaker 3: want to see are they taking responsibility for it and
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  Speaker 3: is someone working on the problem or are they just
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  Speaker 3: hiding and denying it. So here's some homework. Let's think
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  Speaker 3: about the pink flags that you've had in your own
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  Speaker 3: life currently in the past. We could need to look
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  Speaker 3: at every decade. What pink flags I've had every decade?
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  Speaker 3: So ask yourself what was I learning during that pink flag?
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  Speaker 3: How did I grow and what support would have helped me.
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  Speaker 3: This exercise helps us develop compassion without abandoning good judgment.
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  Speaker 3: Part three. Behaviors that deserve attention. Okay, these are our
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  Speaker 3: red flags. Boom boom boom. We all red flags, right,
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  Speaker 3: So these are genuine red red flags. These behaviors can
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  Speaker 3: create theorious financial and emotional harm. You might not know
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  Speaker 3: it right off. So you just want to kind of
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  Speaker 3: be aware of these secret spending Like if you find
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  Speaker 3: something you maybe move in with your person and you
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  Speaker 3: see some bags that are hidden in the closet, or
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  Speaker 3: you know, you didn't know that they were using your
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  Speaker 3: Uber account, or you know, I'm making anything that just
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  Speaker 3: secret spending, a hidden debt for some reason you ran
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  Speaker 3: across the bill or something that there was you know,
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  Speaker 3: four or five thousand dollars on a credit card you
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  Speaker 3: didn't know they had, you know, lying about money. You know,
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  Speaker 3: you might catch them in something like you know, I
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  Speaker 3: got paid this, I got paid that, and then you
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  Speaker 3: see the bank state and they didn't get that payment
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  Speaker 3: or they didn't sell that house or whatever for that
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  Speaker 3: gambling problems like if they're always gone. I have actually
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  Speaker 3: run into this a couple times in my career that
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  Speaker 3: I have had gambleholics as spouses. I'm not meaning but
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  Speaker 3: my clients, And it was it was devastating. It was
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  Speaker 3: very very much devastating because they didn't until it is
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  Speaker 3: absolutely too late. So you want to be aware of
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  Speaker 3: that and believe me, those troubles are going to come
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  Speaker 3: into other areas right addictions. Addiction. Refusing to talk about
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  Speaker 3: finance is huge red flag, Like there's a certain time
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  Speaker 3: that you need to start talking about money, especially if
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  Speaker 3: you're spending every you know, if you're committed and you're together,
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  Speaker 3: you're monogamous, you're trying to really get to know this
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  Speaker 3: person to see if you want them in your life,
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  Speaker 3: and you're spending the weekends together and maybe one or
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  Speaker 3: two nights during the week, and so you know, two
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  Speaker 3: to three months go by and they're still not discussing
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  Speaker 3: finances with you. Well, you can't really move forward with
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  Speaker 3: somebody and plan your life if you don't know what's
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  Speaker 3: happening and what they have and the income and when
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  Speaker 3: they want to retire and things like that, right, constant
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  Speaker 3: financial emergencies. That is just a huge red flag expecting
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  Speaker 3: others to always rescue them. And you're going to hear
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  Speaker 3: that in a lot of different terminology that people might use.
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  Speaker 3: Repeated borrowing again, any borrowing for me is a red
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  Speaker 3: flag financial manipulation, like I never said that, or well
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  Speaker 3: when you said that, you know, like you did that
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  Speaker 3: or you said that, it's like, wait a minute, I
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  Speaker 3: did not say that. That's not even anything near. So
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  Speaker 3: there's a manipulation that can be going on using money
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  Speaker 3: to control decisions. This happens a lot with wealthy people. Unfortunately.
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  Speaker 3: They feel like if they're going to buy the whole
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  Speaker 3: vacation or dinner or you know, moving a dinner or
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  Speaker 3: the whole day, that there's I don't want to say
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  Speaker 3: quid pro crow, but that they get to decide where
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  Speaker 3: you eat now because they bought the hotel for the
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  Speaker 3: weekend or whatever. So now they just kind of take
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  Speaker 3: over and they might not even realize that they're doing it.
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  Speaker 3: So that's a red flag for you to speak up
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  Speaker 3: for sure. Right, A lot of them do know that
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  Speaker 3: they're doing it, and that's why they want to pay
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  Speaker 3: for everything because they want to be able to control everything.
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  Speaker 3: Pressuring you to combine finance is way too quick. We
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  Speaker 3: should not be combining finances unless you're living together and
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  Speaker 3: have one checking account for that household and that's it.
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  Speaker 3: You keep your money, they keep their money. There's no
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  Speaker 3: reason to combine finances unless you're brain new, you know,
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  Speaker 3: in your in your twenties, getting married for the first time. Absolutely,
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  Speaker 3: that's totally fine. And you should know everyone's past credit card,
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  Speaker 3: dead student loans, all that. You should know everything and
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  Speaker 3: how they spend money. Right, asking for loans in a relationship. No,
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  Speaker 3: I would never do that, would never accept that either.
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  Speaker 3: That's a huge red flag. Refusing accountability. Now this again,
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  Speaker 3: this can show up in many different areas. You know
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  Speaker 3: I said this, or did that, I didn't, I didn't,
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  Speaker 3: you didn't you never said that, or well I didn't
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  Speaker 3: know you meant that or whatever. Just not accepting responsibility
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  Speaker 3: and accountability for either hurting your feelings or being late,
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  Speaker 3: or it could be anything. Right, but that's going to
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  Speaker 3: show up with money as well. So one red flag
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  Speaker 3: doesn't automatically mean someone's a bad person, but pattern does matter,
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  Speaker 3: so we need to just be aware of it. Repeated
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  Speaker 3: behaviors matter, Honesty matters. So here's your homework. We love
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  Speaker 3: homework baling. Write down what financial behaviors would cause me
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  Speaker 3: to pause and ask more questions. So that's the pink flags, right,
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  Speaker 3: what's going to make me pause and get curious. So
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  Speaker 3: I'm not necessarily going to end the relationship. I'll probably
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  Speaker 3: have another date, but I want to ask more questions.
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  Speaker 3: Then when you're in the relationship more, you can ask
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  Speaker 3: deeper questions. Not necessarily end, but just slow down. Awareness
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  Speaker 3: is your friend. Part four. Why we miss red flags? Well,
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  Speaker 3: this is where things get interesting. Often it's not the
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  Speaker 3: red flag, but it's the issue. Why we ignore it
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  Speaker 3: is the most thing that I want you to get
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  Speaker 3: out of it right now. We just don't want to
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  Speaker 3: be alone. We're you know, we're dealing with the potential
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  Speaker 3: and the what if and we believe that we can
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  Speaker 3: fix someone and rescue them and help them go dependence.
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  Speaker 3: I'm talking to you all, or we just really get
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  Speaker 3: our security and get our everything from our relationship. Like
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  Speaker 3: you want to see how they see you, you see
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  Speaker 3: yourself how they see you, instead of just seeing yourself
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  Speaker 3: through your own eyes. There's a lot of people that way.
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  Speaker 3: As well. Sometimes in our own our own wounds make
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  Speaker 3: us overlook warning signs. So if I've said, Okay, this
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  Speaker 3: is my boyfriend, I've introduced him to everyone, he's hanging around,
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  Speaker 3: my friends know him, and then I then I see
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  Speaker 3: a red flag or a pink flag or whatever. You know,
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  Speaker 3: sometimes we overlook that because now it's going to be
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  Speaker 3: embarrassing to tell these people that I've just introduced him
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  Speaker 3: to that, oh yeah he is. He did have a
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  Speaker 3: financial issue, you know, back in the day or whatever,
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  Speaker 3: and then you kind of got to tell people why
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  Speaker 3: you're he's not in your life anymore. And that's I'm
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  Speaker 3: talking about for me if it was me, so that
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  Speaker 3: could be embarrassing. So I would, you know, I could
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  Speaker 3: stay longer than normal because I wouldn't want that embarrassment.
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  Speaker 3: So your homework to make sure that this does not
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  Speaker 3: happen is complete this sentence. The red flag I am
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  Speaker 3: most likely to ignore is that's after the homework that
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  Speaker 3: you've already done. Right, What red flags have you ignored
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  Speaker 3: in the past, or pink flag that you've ignored in
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  Speaker 3: the past, What one are you more likely to ignore now?
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  Speaker 3: And then answer it? Why? Why is that red flag?
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  Speaker 3: Something that I'm most likely to ignore. This is where
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  Speaker 3: the heat lead begins. Sorry, yes, we want you to
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  Speaker 3: heal for sure. We want to see it. No one's
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  Speaker 3: shaming blaming you at all. We just want to see it. Okay.
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  Speaker 3: The part five your red flags. This may be uncomfortable,
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  Speaker 3: but we all have them. The goal isn't to evaluate
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  Speaker 3: everyone else. The goal is self awareness. So maybe your
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  Speaker 3: flags might be avoiding money concerns or even talking about
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  Speaker 3: money right overspending, not asking questions, people pleasing, codependence, financial
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  Speaker 3: anxiety like it just you know, it just turns your
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  Speaker 3: stomach to even talk about money, lack of boundaries. People's
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  Speaker 3: just walking all over you asking for loans, You're paying
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  Speaker 3: for everything, you know, Oh I forgot my wallet, trick,
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  Speaker 3: Oh my keys are in the other car. Can you drive?
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  Speaker 3: You know, anything like that, and then let me pay
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  Speaker 3: you up, Let me take you to the restaurant, let
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  Speaker 3: me take you to the concert. Right, So we want
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  Speaker 3: to know about all that. The healthiest relationship happened when
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  Speaker 3: both people are willing to grow. So that's a value.
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  Speaker 3: That's one of my biggest values is willing to grow.
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  Speaker 3: I am a lifelong learner and I'm always going to grow,
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  Speaker 3: and I'm always going to do better. If someone is
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  Speaker 3: not trying to grow, they're not going to be a
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  Speaker 3: good fit for me because I do a lot of analyzing.
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  Speaker 3: I do a lot of digging deep and regourg a dating,
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  Speaker 3: for lack of a better word, the day right, What
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  Speaker 3: did I say? What did I do? What did I spend?
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  Speaker 3: How am I joy? How are my emotions? So here's
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  Speaker 3: some homework for yourself. What financial behavior am I currently
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  Speaker 3: working on? And then ask yourself what small improvement can
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  Speaker 3: I make this week? So let's say you have credit
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  Speaker 3: card debt or student loan debt or a card DT
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: that you don't want. What behavior are you working on now?
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: So that would mean not saying yes. For me, it
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: would be not saying yes to everything that pops up.
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: That's going to be temp up here, twenty bucks here,
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: thirty bucks here, forty bucks here. We have so many
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: activities at my community that I'm in, Like every Friday,
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: we get this whole new list of all these things
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: to do. We got a comedian show, we got a chef,
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: we got a wine dinner. I mean I could spend
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: one thousand dollars a month on all these extra things.
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: So what behavior am I currently working on? Just say no,
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: That's where I'm at now. It's not doing every single
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: thing that's out there, So how can I make that
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: an improvement? This week? Is not looking at that email.
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: I'm just gonna let that pass by because it's hard
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: to say no when you see all the fun stuff.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: So I'm just gonna let that pass by for now. Okay,
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: Part six. Financial boundaries. They're not walls, but just guidelines.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: Healthy boundaries sound like I don't lend money while dating.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, I can't even I'm trying to be
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: nice on this podcast. But let's tell you right now,
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: if anybody asked me to borrow money, I'd get up
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: and walk out. I know I'm a bitch for sure.
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: Don't even don't even write post signing loans. No, we
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: do not do that. We do not do that. We
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: do not combine. I do not combine finances quickly. See
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: how I'm saying I don't I need transparency before making
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: financial commitment like this is I'm owning this. I'm not saying, well,
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: maybe we could let's see if No, I don't lend
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: money period. I need transparency. Healthy people respect boundaries, and
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: especially when you say them clear. Sorry, that doesn't work
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: for me. I don't do that. Nope, that's okay. People
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: who become angry about reasonable boundaries often reveal valuable information
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: for you. So here's your homework. Write down these three
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: financial boundaries. Example breaking all these right, I don't lend money,
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: I don't co sign, I don't combine finances. Will be
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: I don't combine finances at all. At my age, I
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: would not do that at all. So what else? Let's
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: see three financial boundaries? Good question? Those are good. Right.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: We'd have to think about that a little bit more,
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: and then it would be like phase one of dating,
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: phase two, phase three, that kind of thing. These are
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: really good conversations to have with adult kids that are
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: dating as well. Right. Part step seven healing the root cause.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: The most important lesson today is red flags aren't just
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: about other people. They're also about us. We've explained betrayal, abandonment,
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: financial trauma, divorce, loss, heartbreak, and you may react in
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: one of two ways. We can ignore the signs or
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: we can see signs everywhere. In the first date is like, no,
• 19:28
  Speaker 3: I don't know he did this, he did that. Oh
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: my gosh, she didn't talk, she didn't do this, she
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: didn't touch my hand YadA YadA. We can go really
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: really crazy with this as well. So we just want
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: to be aware. Never neither extreme serves us. Healing helps
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: us respond instead of just react. Healing helps us trust ourselves. Again.
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: I always I talk to some clients sometimes and they're
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: so worried and in fear. They're not ready to date.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: They're just not ready to find that next relationship. We
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: have to have some good sense and confidence on our
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: own s before we bring somebody else and tipe this
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: crazy monkey mind. So healing ourselves distinguished between the green flags,
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: the pink flags, and the red flags. The final homework
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: in the relationship audit is create three columns grain pink
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: and red. We want to write down behaviors that is
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: going to help you feel safe and help you trust.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: For the green flags and the pink flags, we want
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: to know what requires more conversation and understanding, and then
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: what would require more stronger boundaries underneath the red flags.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: And we just make a list of all those flags
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: first that come to mind or you know, the things
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: that you've received in the past, and then we want
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: to say Okay, what do we want to pay attention to.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: Many people focus only on red flags, then they miss
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: healthy partners. So we don't want to just focus on
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: green either, because then you know, we ignore the important mornings.
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: So our goal is balance. It's okay to have a
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: little bit of everything. We just want to see it
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: all in our clothing here today. Financial red flags are
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: not about fear. They're about awareness about ourselves and someone else.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: The purpose is not to judge anyone. That's not what
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: we're doing. The purpose is just to make wiser decisions
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: and to be able to trust ourselves enough to trust
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: our gut and our intuition. We must trust ourselves. We
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: want to honor our boundaries. So if we don't even
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: know where they are until we start dating, well then
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: chemistry gets involved, you know, and they're touching them and
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: their hand and you know, we get the giggles and
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: you know, all that's fun. So that can take away
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: the clarity around your boundaries. So we need to know
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: what we need to heal. We need to create relationships
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: built on trust, honesty, communication, and above all respects. We
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: absolutely must have respect and give respect and feel respect.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Healthy relationships are not perfection. They are not. They're not
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: built on perfection. They're just built on awareness. So awareness
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: changes everything. Remember, it's not about the zeros. It's about
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: creating the life and the relationships that truly support the
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: future that you want to build. Not someone else, but
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: creating the future that you actually want to build. So
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: I hope you enjoyed this episode, and I hope you
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: do all this wonderful homework so that you can know
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: where you're at when you're dating, your love and your relationships,
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: and pass this on to your friends, make sure they
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: pass it on to their youngins that are jumping into
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: relationships in their twenties and thirties, and like, we've all
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: started over at one time or another. So I hope
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: you can pass this information on and then you feel
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: really good about it. And I want everyone to be
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: able to say, I rock my Finances.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: We appreciate you joining us today, and don't forget to
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: subscribe to the rock my Finances YouTube channel for more
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: engagement and bonus content. Tell me what is your money story?
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Let's find out with Jennifer right here on K four
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: HD Radio and Talk for TV. It's not about the zero,
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: It's about the f word feelings, feelings, Jennifer can't wait
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: to explore with you next week. Until then, let's all
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: say I rock my finances