Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / How do you know when a Narcissist is Done for good
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful folks, Today we're going to be
- 0:03answering the question how to know if a narcissist is done for
- 0:08good with you. If they're if it's over, it's
- 0:10finished. Nothing, you're done.
- 0:13If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:15I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
- 0:18the Narcissist Code. Bing welcome back folks welcome
- 0:37back welcome back yes How the hell do you are you supposed to
- 0:41know if they're done with you or not If it if it's really the
- 0:44final discard That's that's that's that's really what y'all
- 0:48want to know right You just here for the final discard you're not
- 0:50even here for me you're here for the final discard.
- 0:52They tell us, tell us, stop, tell us right now.
- 0:55No, I don't think that I will. No, but seriously, a lot of
- 1:01times when you're dealing with this manipulative mindset, you
- 1:04have to understand that most narcissistic people are never
- 1:08going to be done with you. I ain't going to say most.
- 1:09I feel like there's a lot. I ain't going to say most.
- 1:11If I had to put, if I had to put a percentage on it.
- 1:13This is completely anecdotal just from my own experiences and
- 1:17all the people I've talked to as well, right?
- 1:20The people I've talked to, I've done, you know, I've coached
- 1:23thousands of people that have been dealing with narcissistic
- 1:25toxic relationship dynamics over the last almost four years.
- 1:29I would say that I would say 64. I would say no 6535.
- 1:34I would say 65. Let me, I'm a go.
- 1:36I'm a 70%. My final number, I say 70% seem
- 1:41like they always want to consistently reach out between
- 1:4365 and seven now between 6067.5. Let's go, let's split the
- 1:47difference. 67.5% of people. Hoover, that means that there's
- 1:51a huge percentage of people that don't Hoover.
- 1:54So that means if it's 67 out of 100, that means 33 people don't
- 1:57Hoover. So if you don't get Hoover, it
- 1:59doesn't mean that you don't get Hoover or they're just they
- 2:01completely done with you. It doesn't mean that you were
- 2:03worth less. Stop attaching your value to the
- 2:05narcissistic person because when you were worried about a Hoover,
- 2:09you mean because you're you're, it makes, it's making you
- 2:11question yourself worth. That means you're attaching more
- 2:14value to them. You're attaching more value to
- 2:16their actions into their opinions as opposed to your own,
- 2:20right? So how the hell are you supposed
- 2:22to know if they're done for good?
- 2:23See how some of them will absolutely tell you straight up
- 2:26and they'll block you everywhere and you'll never hear from him
- 2:28again. Like Maui when he fell into the
- 2:32the ocean after Shafidi smacked him.
- 2:34You see what I'm saying? Maui fell into the ocean with
- 2:36his hook and never to be seen again.
- 2:38You see what I'm saying? Like the grandma from Moana said
- 2:40that sometimes they will disappear on you, sometimes
- 2:44they'll be absolutely be done with you and you won't hear from
- 2:47them again. Some of them will ghost you.
- 2:48Y'all, let's keep it high. Some of them will ghost you and
- 2:51become they become Casper the unfriendly narcissistic ghost
- 2:55and they will absolutely you never hear from them again.
- 2:58But there will be signs, y'all, because sometimes like the signs
- 3:01will include like disconnecting from you emotionally, just just
- 3:07viciously. I feel like the more vicious the
- 3:12discard, the less likely they are to come back.
- 3:16Because a lot of narcissists do want to leave.
- 3:19They feel like they left you broken to ensure to themselves
- 3:23that they've made the right decision.
- 3:25A lot of them want to try to leave you broken to ensure to
- 3:30themselves that they've made the right decision.
- 3:33They feel like they have to break you down to make sure that
- 3:36they themselves have made the right.
- 3:37Isn't it crazy as hell? Yeah.
- 3:39Isn't it absolutely insane if somebody, if somebody feels like
- 3:42they have to break you in order to make sure that they made the
- 3:46right decision with you? That's crazy as hell.
- 3:48If you think about it, that's insane.
- 3:51So the more vicious the discard like if they leave, if they just
- 3:56take file for divorce without without what you knowing you get
- 4:00served papers and they just start talking through the
- 4:02attorneys like they this damn. They're like they're treating
- 4:05you like you're the narcissist. They go no contact with you.
- 4:08They block you everywhere. And all the contact has to go
- 4:11through an intermediary like an attorney or a family member or
- 4:14mediator, whatever, whoever it is in these situations.
- 4:17Right? Yeah, I also feel like they are
- 4:21less likely to be complete out. Dude, this is a tidbit.
- 4:25They are less likely to be completely done with you if you
- 4:30have kids together. Now, I might say that it doesn't
- 4:35mean that some of some of them will not.
- 4:36Yeah, deadbeat parents absolutely exist.
- 4:39Some of them will ghost your ass whether you have kids with them
- 4:42or not, right? The ghost, and it's a universal
- 4:45ghost and they ghost you. The kids, they own family.
- 4:48Sometimes they disappear. Like, it's like they damn near,
- 4:50they went to Mars. They might as well live on Mars,
- 4:53right? Or they might as well be
- 4:54orbiting the damn moon or at the International Space Station or
- 4:58something along those lines, right?
- 5:00That happens. So it's like you have to prepare
- 5:03for that. You have to be ready for that as
- 5:05well. Because this is part of the the
- 5:06things that do go on, right? Because sometimes even if you
- 5:10have kids, they'll viciously discard you.
- 5:13Tell the kids that they don't want them anymore and make sure
- 5:16that everybody in the household is feeling their wrath while
- 5:19they're on the way out the door. That's absolutely something that
- 5:22happens to so many people. People will feel their wrath on
- 5:26the way out the door because they themselves feel like they,
- 5:29they deserve to hurt you for some reason, like they they
- 5:32themselves. And a lot of times when they're
- 5:34viciously discard you, yes, they do have someone else.
- 5:38Very Rarely are you going to be. Are you going to have a
- 5:41narcissist that viciously, viciously tongue twister that
- 5:47viciously discard you If they don't have anybody else, they
- 5:51don't. They're not just going to
- 5:52discard you to go be by themselves.
- 5:54Even if they tell you that, even if they tell you this, why would
- 5:57you believe them, right. Even if they tell you this damn
- 5:59bold faced lie. Bald faced lies.
- 6:02A bold or bold faced. Bold or bald faced.
- 6:04I'm gonna say bold faced. They tell you this bold faced
- 6:10lie. There's nobody else.
- 6:12I promise you. It's just I've decided to take
- 6:15my life in a whole different direction.
- 6:17And the direction just doesn't include you.
- 6:21They'd be lying. All of a sudden, out of nowhere,
- 6:23they pop up. You hear through a friend or
- 6:25who? Their family member.
- 6:26Yeah. I saw Lee with Lee.
- 6:27Got a I even realized you and Lee had broke up and saw him at
- 6:30a cafe smooching. And then somehow we get in
- 6:34contact and I lie to you like this just happened.
- 6:38It's not something that was planned.
- 6:40You can't help what the hard wants.
- 6:42The hard wants what the hard wants, and the hard wants this
- 6:46other person. I'm sorry, blah blah, blah.
- 6:49You know what I'm saying? But then they'll still visually
- 6:51discard you. They were just like, well, this
- 6:53person is better than you, what do you expect from me?
- 6:55You haven't done anything for me.
- 6:57You were not there, you were never there for me, blah, blah,
- 6:58blah, Boo Boo, Boo. They'll just start listening off
- 7:00all the fake qualities that they feel like, you know what I mean?
- 7:05That led to you getting hurt. So a lot of times, like I said,
- 7:08the more vicious the Discord, the less likely they are to come
- 7:12back, you know, and one way, another way, y'all, if they, if
- 7:15they, like I say, if they disappear and block you off of
- 7:18everything, they block you on social media.
- 7:20If they disconnect from you everywhere, a lot of times they
- 7:24might be completely done. You know what I'm saying?
- 7:26If they're like scrubbing themselves from your life, they
- 7:31might be done. Separate bank accounts,
- 7:32separate, separate. They don't tell you their new,
- 7:35If y'all do break up, they don't tell you their new address.
- 7:38That's a sign that they might be completely done because they
- 7:41don't want to know you. They don't want you to know
- 7:44where they are or who they are with because that's important to
- 7:48them to keep it to themselves, right?
- 7:50Because they don't want you to know if they are with somebody
- 7:53else sometimes or sometimes they just don't want to know where
- 7:55they are because you can catch them up and maybe you can expose
- 7:59them, right. Another time I said as well,
- 8:03yeah, another sign could be a pre emptive smear campaign, like
- 8:10where preemptive smear campaign would will be.
- 8:12They start they start spreading lies and rumors about you while
- 8:16y'all are still together, while things may it's crazy that they
- 8:21can start a smear campaign on on you while they're claiming that
- 8:25y'all are happy. They'll try to make it seem like
- 8:29y'all are unhappy. They'll try to make it seem to
- 8:33you later on if you find out about the smear campaign that
- 8:36y'all been unhappy for a long time and this is just the result
- 8:40of your actions or inaction, whatever it is.
- 8:43But sometimes they'll start spreading rumors about you
- 8:45cheating, about you being abusive behind the scenes, about
- 8:49you being neglectful. They'll start spreading these
- 8:51rumors about you. A pre empty smear campaign could
- 8:55be a sign that they're done for good.
- 8:57Like I said, like I said, let me let me reiterate this.
- 9:00Done for good. You know there's a crazy
- 9:02euphemism. It doesn't mean that y'all you
- 9:04will never hear from him again. It just means y'all won't be in
- 9:07a relationship anymore. Like the relationship dynamic
- 9:10will never be the same. That's what we might done for
- 9:12good. Because like I said, sometimes
- 9:14y'all do have kids and y'all have to exchange kids and
- 9:17whatnot. So they still might not want to
- 9:19have a relationship anymore with you.
- 9:20They might be completely the the discard might be permanent.
- 9:24The final discard from that from their perspective might be a
- 9:28permanent discard or what not. Not one of these temporary ones,
- 9:31you know what I mean? But All in all y'all, the final
- 9:35discard, them being done for good, it does fall onto you
- 9:40because a lot of times, like I said, over 60% / 65% of the time
- 9:44they will come back because they feel like they have they have
- 9:47unfinished business or they can have you as a backup plan to
- 9:50things like that. The final discard is up to you.
- 9:53Like they tell you that they're, if they tell you that they're
- 9:54done with you, their behaviors are unbecoming.
- 9:57They've been being horrible to you and whatnot.
- 9:59A lot of times it falls on to you.
- 10:02They just be like, hell no, I got to be done with you.
- 10:05Hell no. This can this can't go any
- 10:07further. Hell no.
- 10:09Me and you have absolutely got to go our separate ways.
- 10:13You have the ability to do that. You have the power in you to say
- 10:16that and do that. So the final discard a lot of
- 10:18times is up to you. If they're done, like a lot of
- 10:21times, they could be done for good because you won't allow
- 10:23them access to you anymore. Like when you go no contact with
- 10:27them and they stop reaching out, they could be done for good
- 10:29because you took your power back and cut off that access to them.
- 10:33A lot of times they could be done for good because you just
- 10:36started ignoring the smear campaign you didn't start.
- 10:39Like you didn't keep fighting back, like you just didn't give
- 10:42them any type of emotional energy, any type of reaction.
- 10:45You didn't give them that. They didn't receive it from you.
- 10:48So they could be in there, they could be in the mental position
- 10:52that they have to be done for good, you know?
- 10:55So a lot of times the final discard falls onto you on what
- 10:58you want to do and how you want to handle certain situations
- 11:02moving forward and whatnot. Because narcissistic people,
- 11:04most times they're going to do everything and anything to
- 11:07benefit themselves in any way, right?
- 11:09This is how it goes. You know what I mean?
- 11:12This is the, the mindset, the dynamic, the, the inklings that
- 11:15they get y'all. Anyway, y'all make sure you
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- 11:35mental illness is out. Peace, what's going on?
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- 12:01I appreciate it. I'm out.