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When a narcissist says "I miss the old you" · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're talking about when a narcissist says I miss the old
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  you. What do they mean when they say
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  that if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  So welcome back, Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Episode 983 of the Narcissist Code.
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  Y'all. Sorry, I forgot to say that.
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  I'm changing things up. Y'all Sorry, sorry, sorry.
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  Yeah. So what do narcissists mean when
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  they say I miss the old you? What do they mean when they say
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  that? So let me let me get this way
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  out of the way. Let me get this out of the way
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  first. I know that an impact or a
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  person that survived A narcissist would say that.
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  I know you can say that as well. You might miss the original
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  person that the narcissist was when y'all when you first met
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  them. Right when you first met the
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  narcissist. You might miss them.
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  The the person you the person you met.
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  You might miss that person. And that's completely 100%
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  understandable. Why wouldn't it be
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  understandable? You got you catch my drift?
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  You get my drift. But when a narcissist that says
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  that statement, when a narcissist says I miss the OU,
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  they miss that means that you might be outgrowing them.
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  That means that you might be. They feel they can sense that
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  you might be getting ready to move on.
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  They can sense that you might not, might not be tolerating
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  what that you might not be putting up with what they dish
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  out when they say I miss the old you.
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  Like after you caught them lying to you, caught them in a lie,
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  caught them cheating, caught them.
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  Whatever you caught them doing, they'll they might say that
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  statement. If they say that that means they
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  you used to would forgive them. But now you're not letting up.
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  Now you're trying to hold them accountable.
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  Now you're sticking firm to your boundaries.
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  If they say I miss the OU, it's typically a that's a term of
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  manipulation right there. Yeah, that's how they manipulate
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  you right there with that right there.
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  That's how they manipulate your mindset.
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  That's how they manipulate you in order to get you to do
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  whatever they want you to do. That's exactly it right there.
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  They'll say I miss the old you because you might be growing.
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  Y'all, it's not a it's a bad thing that they say it, but it's
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  not a bad thing that they say at the same time.
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  You know both things can be true right there with that same
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  statement. It's bad that they say it
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  because they're trying to manipulate you, but it's not bad
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  because you're growing because they can see that change in you.
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  You know, for you it means that you are outgrowing this person
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  like you are a yeah, yeah, y'all know a tree, a big beautiful
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  tree does not need its branches to grow.
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  Most trees, you know, they need the root.
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  You need your roots. As long as you have your roots,
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  you can keep growing, right? As long as you have your
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  foundation, you can keep growing, right.
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  The narcissist is a branch that grew out of you, that attached
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  to you. You know it.
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  It's a branch that has grew out of you, attached to you.
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  Whatever. The branches can fall off, you
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  can keep growing. They can sense it.
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  They can feel themselves about to get broken off.
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  They can feel you growing so much that they're going to get
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  broken off that you, they're going to get left behind.
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  I miss the old you, which it just means you're growing.
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  It could just mean that you're growing.
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  You can see through them. Now.
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  You know who they are right now. They miss the gullible person
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  that you might have been before. Think I got up.
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  Maybe you. Maybe you've woken up.
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  Maybe you're awake now. I miss the old you when you were
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  asleep. And I can get away with anything
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  and everything. And I would have gotten away
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  with it if it wasn't for those meddling.
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  What if for your meddling growth.
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  If it wasn't for the meddling? Lee Hammock with those videos.
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  You see what I'm saying? This the scooby-doo right there.
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  I'm like, let's pull off the person who's who's the
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  narcissist, like it has has finally caught me, right?
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  And let's unmask this person who's helping save all these
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  people and it's me. It's like Lee Hammock mental
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  illness. And I did it.
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  I'll do it again. Yeah, to them it's weird.
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  Because to them, to a lot of narcissists, I'm a villain.
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  Y'all, let's be realistic. I am a villain.
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  They look at, they villainize me.
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  They make me seem like I'm a bad person for helping people
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  understand the mind of a narcissist.
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  Maybe other self award narcissist, think I'm a villain.
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  Go Google Lee Hammock, whatever. Yeah, it's crazy.
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  But you can do it. You're out.
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  You're. Yeah, you're growing.
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  You don't need that branch. You can grow another branch.
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  You know, they might be, they might not even be a branch in
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  your tree. There might be a virus or
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  infection. They they might be an infection.
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  That branch has gotten infected. They infected one of your
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  branches and that you don't need that branch anymore.
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  Let me break that branch off so it can grow back.
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  You regenerate. You can regenerate.
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  Your empathy, Yeah, you can regenerate like you like a
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  little, you like a little empathetic starfish.
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  You can regenerate your limbs. You don't need them.
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  And they know that most narcissists want to be needed.
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  I want to be needed, you know? I want to be needed.
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  This is how it goes right there within that space.
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  A narcissist wants to be needed. And they if they can sense that
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  you're not needed you, that you're not needing them anymore,
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  they got you. And like I said when if they say
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  that statement, I miss the OU, you could have just got a
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  promotion. You could be growing y'all like
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  they they they miss you when you weren't, were not growing right.
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  They miss this that not necessarily you were not if you
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  were stagnant you might have been a student when they first
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  met you but now you're a doctor now you're a lawyer now you've
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  changed to the point where you like you.
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  They there are more important things in life than them.
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  I miss the OU now. You got other things and other
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  people that you value more than you might value them.
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  You might have kids, like they might not like you as a mom or a
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  dad because they miss the the single version of you where you
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  didn't have any other, you had no other responsibilities than
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  taking care of them. They're not the center of your
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  universe. They don't feel like the center
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  of your universe anymore. And there's some people out
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  there who argue and say, well, Lee, your spouse should be the
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  center of your universe. Y'all can You can make a valid
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  argument on that, but they shouldn't.
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  I mean, I don't know if you can make a valid argument on it.
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  You can make an argument on it, but they shouldn't be the only
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  thing in your universe. You know what I'm saying?
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  This should not be 1A sun with one planet.
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  There's going to be other things orbiting around in this
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  universe. Our our earth orbits around the
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  sun, but it has a moon. You know what I'm saying?
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  You could orbit together, but narcissistic people want to be
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  the sun, the moon, the star, the other stars.
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  They want to be the other planets.
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  They want to be gravity. They want to be the black hole.
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  They want to be everything that matters.
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  They want to be dark matter. You know, they're going to be
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  everything that matters in your life.
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  When they feel like they're mattering less, they yeah, they
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  tend. When they start saying this type
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  of stuff, they might actually start to behave differently as
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  well. Not only would they say this
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  stuff, they might start to behave differently.
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  They might start to treat you differently.
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  They might start to act differently.
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  You know, if you dealt with a Darcy for any specific period of
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  time, you understand exactly what I'm saying and you know
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  this what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying is
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  absolutely true that that person, they hate to see your
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  growth unless they can take credit for it, unless they're
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  growing with you, you know, they hate to see you moving forward
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  in life unless they can take some kind of credit for it.
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  They hate it. Y'all I'm telling people like
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  y'all you are stronger than what you think you are.
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  You really are. They hate it.
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  They don't want to see you keep growing.
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  So you got to you look out. You have to keep growing.
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  You absolutely have to, you know.
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  Don't be afraid to outgrow somebody that had the chance to
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  grow with you. I read.
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  I seen that statement before. I was like, oh, that's.
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  I was like, oh, it make you want to snap your fingers and do your
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  step. You know what I mean It make you
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  want to snap your fingers. Do your step.
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  You can do it all by yourself, baby girl.
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  Don't leave me alone on the T pain.
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  Y'all back in my club days in my 20s.
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  But that's how it goes though. Y'all, if you hear that
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  statement, your empathetic antenna, it should go up.
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  You can sense it. You see your fillers, your
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  little antenna, right here. You can feel it.
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  Look, they they might be in rest mode, but if a narcissist says I
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  miss the old, you let them look, uncurl them, uncurl these little
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  impact antennas. Smelled it like using, using for
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  your sense. OK, they must sense that I'm
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  outgrowing them. You know, They must know.
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  They must know that I know now. And they might start behaving
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  erratically. They might start.
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  Look, narcissistic rage is just an adult temper tantrum.
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  They might start throwing temper tantrums.
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  They might start to treat you differently.
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  They might start to try to hold you back.
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  You're not spending enough time with me.
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  You're spending too much time in school.
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  Well, I got to graduate to help help our family out again.
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  You're spending. It's me or the school.
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  They might start. They might start giving you
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  ultimatums. Y'all the narcissistic person
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  might start, might start getting you, giving you ultimatums and
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  whatnot. They they they might, they might
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  start giving you ultimatum. They might start doing things
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  like that and you can't you know, you can't give.
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  I'm doing a longer video on on this.
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  But you can't give a narcissist an ultimatum.
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  But they can give you one. Yeah, they can give you one.
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  I'm going to start a new series called Monday Kind of Monday
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  Motivation. It's going to be part of my it's
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  going to be part of my podcast, but it's going to be like Monday
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  motivation and stuff like that too.
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  Though I'm starting. I'm starting a new series on
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  that. But yeah, yeah.
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  If you hear that statement, ask you ask yourself, what do they
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  mean? This is how you this is how you
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  can deal with that statement. Ask yourself, what do they mean?
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  Ask yourself what do they mean? What do they mean?
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  What do they mean when they say I I I miss the yo you, you've
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  changed. You're not who you used to be.
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  You're not the person I met. Ask yourself what do they mean?
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  Don't ask them what they mean because they're going to try to
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  let you out. When you ask, what do you mean
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  they're going to give you some gaslight and manipulative,
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  manipulative word salad mess or they might just tell you to
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  figure it out, you know, you know, you should know you the
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  one who changed. If they say that, Oh my God,
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  they they trying to send you to them Pluto with your thinking,
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  with your mind. Y'all they're trying to make
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  you. They're trying to mess with your
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  head. They say you should know who you
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  you changed so much. You know they didn't realize it.
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  So you should look, look at yourself in the mirror and then
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  get back to me later on. You see what I'm saying?
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  That's the mindset of a lot of narcissists and a lot of toxic
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  people. Y'all.
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  That's just how it goes. That's the mindset.
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  That's the dynamic. But y'all, thank y'all so much
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  for being here and look if you made it this far.
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  I finished my video series about understanding the narcissistic
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  cycle of a relationship from my perspective.
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  The video series is done. I'm putting together some
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  communities to help people grow and things like that as well.
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  So join my newsletter. The link is in the description
• 11:10
  of every single video in podcast that I do that says Mental
• 11:13
  illness newsletter. Click that link.
• 11:14
  I don't spam, you only send it out once a week, but I'm going
• 11:18
  to just drop that here in a little bit.
• 11:19
  Y'all, it's going to be extremely cheap.
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  The video series will be extremely cheap, but it's
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  extremely detailed. It's like 17 videos explaining
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  the cycle of a narcissistic relationship.
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  Make sure you like and subscribe for more mental illnesses out
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  please. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
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  Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
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• 11:51
  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.