Latest / The Daily Ripples Podcast / June 12 – Learning True Partnership

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June 12 – Learning True Partnership · The Daily Ripples Podcast

• 0:02
  Hey guys, this is the Daily Ripples.
• 0:04
  I'm Corey, host and the co-host and the host of the co-host.
• 0:10
  So I'm all of it today.
• 0:15
  But before I do these things, I don't know.
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  We're going to get into it in a second.
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  But I always pray.
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  I always bring God into it because I don't feel like this is me talking to you guys.
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  It's just me being a vessel through me to be able to be of service to another person.
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  And, you know, that's why I do these.
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  And that's why I'm sure Pastor Mike does them.
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  And just to be able to be of service.
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  And, you know, it's not me out here, you know, giving advice to people's lives.
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  What I've done in my life is, you know, what I've done in my life.
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  And I've done a lot of bad things in my life, too.
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  So that's why I bring God into it because my point of view is a lot of bad.
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  But, you know, what's been the central factor of my life lately has been God.
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  And, you know, God has redirected my life in such a way that through a simple process.
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  Anyways, I don't...
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  June 12th, learning true partnership.
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  The stone, healthy relationships require humility, honesty, and trust.
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  When I insist on control or self-protection, real partnership becomes difficult.
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  Ripple one practical.
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  Today, I'll examine how I show up in my relationships.
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  Am I listening or only reacting?
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  Am I giving as well as receiving?
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  I will take a step toward being a more trustworthy and present partner in my interactions.
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  Ripple 2 Spiritual
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  As I follow Christ who lived in perfect relationship with others, the Holy Spirit teaches me how to love well.
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  The Father shapes my character so that I can move from isolation and control into connection and trust.
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  Over time, I learned that true partnership is built on humility and shared growth.
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  yeah like I was saying at the beginning of this
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  you know I read these a little bit
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  kind of think on them and
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  kind of connect some Bible verses to them and things
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  and I was thinking about
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  our church is in 1st Peter we're kind of going through that
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  in a thing and it says in 1st Peter
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  3
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  all of you be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble.
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  Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing,
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  because to this you were called so that so many inherit a blessing. For whoever would love life and
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  see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.
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  They must turn from evil and do good.
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  They must seek peace and pursue it.
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  For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are attentive to their prayers.
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  But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.
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  And I remember me and my significant other, we were going through a pretty rough time.
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  And at the time, she was about to leave.
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  I mean, you know, we went through a lot in the beginning of our deal.
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  And I don't think I talk enough about, you know, all the struggles.
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  Because, you know, without the struggles, I wouldn't be here.
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  But I remember there was a big, big fight we had.
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  And she had packed up her bags.
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  And I remember calling my sponsor.
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  And I was like, hey, what can I do?
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  And, you know, I wanted that.
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  What I wanted was, like, the secret answer to the secret code for the manipulation.
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  And, you know, I got this prayer tattooed on my back.
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  And it's the St. Francis prayer.
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  And, you know, he sent me a couple pieces of it.
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  You know, it was understand instead of being understood, you know, comfort instead of being comforted.
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  And, you know, so I, when, you know, I go into conversations a lot with my significant other, high value conversations that, you know, it's, it's really good for me to do that.
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  It's really good for me to bring God into it first and, you know, and bring these different prayers.
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  Because, you know, for me, well, I was talking about this the other day.
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  And, man, my significant other has a very big, I was talking about this in the meeting the other day, has a very big accent.
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  You know, she's very, very Southern.
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  And, um, but early on when she was pregnant, she hadn't felt the baby in a couple of days.
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  Um, and she called me and, you know, man, I Googled it and, you know, it was a scare.
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  It was a real thing.
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  It's a scary thing.
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  You know, when you don't feel the baby and I didn't, you know, I kind of brushed it off
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  cause I didn't, you know, I don't know anything.
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  And then after I read about it, it was like, you know, seek medical attention immediately.
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  And I was like, oh, no, we got to go to the hospital.
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  So we did.
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  We went to, we didn't go to the, you know, the kids' hospital, the women's hospital.
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  We went straight to the ER.
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  And, you know, this is where we found out there's a difference, too.
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  So we get there, and, you know, because she has this accent, she had told them we haven't felt the baby.
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  And someone in there thought she said fell, that she had fell or something of those terms.
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  And next thing you know, we're back in the back and there's doctors and nurses and people, you know, throwing IVs in her and all these things really quickly.
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  And, you know, she doesn't do well with a lot of people anyways.
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  And, you know, I'm freaking out of my head.
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  And I'm thinking about everything under the sun rather than what can I do right at this moment.
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  for her. Think about what would happen if this happened. Well, what's going to happen if this
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  happened? And I play, you know, it's like almost the, uh, I play out every scenario that could
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  happen. And usually that's not what's going to happen anyways, because my scenarios in my head
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  are usually not the best. They're not the most accurate, but she told me to go get her purse
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  and went and got her purse.
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  And I walk into the car.
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  I was saying the third step prayer.
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  And part of that is, you know,
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  take away my difficulties
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  so victory over them
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  can bear witness of those I could help.
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  And that whole prayer is on page 63
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  of the big book,
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  if you want to look it up.
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  Well, so where it says,
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  you know, take away my difficulties
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  so victory over them can bear witness of those I could help.
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  So that moment, you know, I was like, you know, take away this.
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  And, you know, what I found out in that prayer, you know,
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  the difficulties is just me because I'm in the way.
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  I've always been in the way.
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  I still am going to be in the way probably some today.
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  And, you know, I hope it's at a lighter degree,
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  but, you know, I hope God uses me in a way that it's good.
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  But I, so I said that prayer and, you know, immediately my brain snapped to, what are you doing?
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  You know, you're, this is not about you.
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  This is about her.
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  And you need to be good to go be of service to her.
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  And when I went in straight to be of service to her, for some reason, all the fear and every
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  anxiety went away from me at that moment.
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  Because my attention was put on her.
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  And, you know, that's an important thought, too, because I, and I've talked about this, and, you know, we just had a hundred episode not too long ago.
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  So, y'all have heard me for a hundred days talk about some of these important things that are in this program.
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  And I'm not, you know, going to flip through this book, but, you know, I'll tell you on page 84 what it does say.
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  It says, we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we could help.
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  And that, you know, with, you know, resolutely means with determination.
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  So, you know, usually for me, man, I go ahead and just, you know, turn my thoughts to someone I can help and call them.
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  Send them a text.
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  Try to be there for someone else.
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  You know, how vital that has been to me in my life.
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  You know, there's not much about, you know, me just getting better for me in this program.
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  There's nothing, actually, just so you know.
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  And if you want to email us and kind of go page for page in this deal, we can.
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  My life depends on the constant thought of other people.
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  And it says that.
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  Like I said, I think it's on page 20.
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  It's on the top left of the page.
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  I know that.
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  But it says, for the ex-problem drinker, his life depends on the constant thought of other people
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  and how he may meet their needs, something of that effect.
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  And so, and I'll tell you, that is true today.
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  That is true to me to every degree.
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  Because if I'm not thinking about my family,
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  if I'm not thinking about my daughter, my son,
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  or the people that I'm trying to be of service to, or my job,
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  I'm thinking about me, and you know, man, I'll tell you what,
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  thinking about me does.
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  Thinking about only me puts me in the back of my closet,
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  completely overwhelmed with life and can't function
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  because that's how I've been in my life before.
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  You know, I heard my sponsor talk in Alabama.
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  We went to Alabama with them because we went to this thing.
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  And anyways, you know, I can relate a lot to my sponsor.
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  He was adopted.
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  I was adopted.
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  Mom's a nurse.
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  My mom's a nurse.
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  He attempted suicide.
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  I've attempted suicide.
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  You know, he said something.
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  He said, you know, if you've ever been in that place, you know, it's funny now, but it's something to play with.
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  You know, it's serious.
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  It's serious business that it's not telling people about it, you know, that I'm thinking about this.
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  No, it's the act of doing it, and it's the act of, you know, contemplating in your head for, you know, for me, at least for a long time.
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  And it's a scary, scary place, and I hope that nobody has to go through that.
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  But you know what?
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  So when I'm out of myself, I'm able to be present.
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  Because when I'm in myself, I'm not able to be present.
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  I'm all thinking about all the different things of how this is going to play out, how you should act, what you should have done, this and this and this.
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  But when I'm being of service, it takes me out of that.
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  It takes me out of that mind state.
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  I don't think I was,
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  I was doing some reading or some writing this morning on,
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  I'm going to start, you know,
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  posting these things on this website,
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  but, you know, I was doing some on the doctor's opinion and,
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  you know, it says on page 15,
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  it says talking about,
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  sorry,
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  I wasn't,
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  it says many times,
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  we'll start up a little bit higher,
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  says I was not too well at the time,
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  I was played by waves of self-pity and resentment,
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  this sometimes nearly drove me back to drink,
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  but I soon found that when all other measures failed,
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  work with another alcoholic would save the day,
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  Many times I've gone to my old hospital in despair.
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  On talking to a man there, I would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet.
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  It is a design for living that works in rough going.
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  Many times I go to my old hospital.
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  I go to it quite frequently, actually.
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  I remember I was leaving there one day, and it was best I'd be at home
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  because I found out that I needed to be at home when I got home.
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  But it was funny because, you know, I get up there and I go every once a month to go talk.
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  And someone else had shown up up there.
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  And, you know, accidentally we got scheduled on the same day.
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  And, you know, I told him, I said, hey, man, you got it.
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  And I left.
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  Yeah, I didn't, you know, make a big deal about it.
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  And then on the way home, I was, you know, I started getting this self-pity and resentment thing, you know.
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  And I was like, man, you know, what's this, you know, thinking about, like, oh, I should have been the one to talk.
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  And then I get a phone call from a friend.
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  And I really care about this guy.
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  And he called me and he goes, man, I understand.
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  He was tearing up.
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  He called me and, you know, he had helped this lady do something, this older lady, and helped her get into her house or whatever it was.
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  And, you know, he was crying.
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  He said, man, I understand about this giving thing.
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  And he was crying.
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  And, you know, I told him, I said, you know, man, I was kind of pissed off at the moment, you know, right before you called because I was upset about, you know, not being able to go talk.
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  And, you know, but, you know, it's crazy because, you know, I was right.
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  right where I was supposed to be. I was supposed to receive that phone call and I wasn't supposed
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  to be up there. And that guy that got mis-scheduled with me, you know, man, maybe he had some things
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  going on in his personal life, right? And he was in despair. And he went to his old hospital as well
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  and he got to go share his experience of what it used to be like for him and what it's like for now.
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  Maybe that helps somebody. You know, these little things can completely change the trajectory
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  of someone's life in little bitty pieces
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  and we don't even know.
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  Because, you know, it says in the big book,
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  how could I comprehend a supreme being anyhow?
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  And I can't.
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  And through my life, you know,
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  I'm able to be of service to my family,
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  to my baby, to my son,
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  to the mother, to everybody in my life.
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  And the more people that God allows me to put in my life,
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  the more people I'm allowed to be of service to.
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  And God presents these things in my life.
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  They're amazing.
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  And through all that, you know, I think, you know,
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  I went around this whole how I do this stuff with my partner.
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  But through that, my relationships,
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  when I abandon myself to God and give freely of my life,
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  my relationships are better than they've ever been in my life.
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  ever.
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  I was writing a
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  I got some
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  I still got tons of amends
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  to make.
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  You know
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  I knock away at them
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  and I was writing out
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  a letter
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  the other morning and
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  yeah I put it
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  you know it was interesting because
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  I was writing it out
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  and I told
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  them you know what my book tells me
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  and it tells me on page,
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  it tells me, I'm sorry for the pause.
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  It wasn't really, you know,
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  I don't know what I'm going to say usually before I do this,
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  but it says,
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  simply we tell him that we will never get over drinking
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  until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past.
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  We are there to sweep off our side of the street
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  street. And, you know, I was writing this thing out and I told them, I said, you know, man,
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  it's crazy. Cause like, you know, I find myself, you know, dwelling on a lot of things and trying
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  to make right a lot of things in my life that I should have just listened to my mother about
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  and how the way she, the way she told, you know, told me to be. And that's, you know,
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  when I'm trying to come back, I'm trying to come back to baseline today, you know, on a, you know,
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  even playing that, you know, I'm allowed to function with people in this world. And, um,
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  thank you guys for listening to me rant. Um, I'm really grateful and I'm grateful for Pastor Mike,
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  you know, for giving us this, you know, this way to do this. Cause it's, man, it's,
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  If it hasn't helped any body that listens to it, it's helped me in more than ways than I can ever explain.
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  So thank you.
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  I'll end this with a prayer.
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  Father, teach me how to love and relate to others well.
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  Through your Spirit, form in me the humility and trust needed to build strong and healthy relationships.
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  Following the example of your Son.
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  Amen.
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  Thank you, guys.