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Bonus IMPROV - In Sickness and In Health, but Not In Sharing Food · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome to very fine friends bonus improv
• 0:19
  joe can we get a suggestion for our improv
• 0:26
  first i would like to point out you definitely said bonus improv like that before i don't think
• 0:34
  that's like your go-to i think you need to change the about section on the website no
• 0:39
  yeah listeners if you go to verified friends.com and go to the about section
• 0:44
  it's got a little bit of info on all of us and it's and mine says i've never said bonus improv
• 0:51
  the same way twice.
• 0:53
  And I think that was a pretty new way to say it.
• 0:56
  You can move on to...
• 0:58
  I was at insects.
• 0:59
  You could move on to accents next time.
• 1:02
  Then it will always be new.
• 1:05
  Anyways, your suggestion is adventurous.
• 1:11
  I know the answer to this question,
• 1:12
  but I'll ask it for the audience.
• 1:14
  When you got to eat,
• 1:15
  do you typically get the same thing
• 1:17
  from places that you go to?
• 1:19
  Yes.
• 1:21
  Whenever I try to branch out, if it's disappointing, then I'm like, oh.
• 1:29
  I could have had something I knew was good.
• 1:32
  There are certain restaurants where I've tried basically everything on the menu
• 1:35
  because they have a good track record.
• 1:38
  And I also go often enough that I can gamble with one meal.
• 1:46
  Hillstone being a good example.
• 1:48
  Hillstone's a good example.
• 1:48
  The Parlor is the other good example.
• 1:51
  um yeah but and and you are medium adventurous it's a great way to explain me i was gonna say
• 2:03
  you were like semi-adventurous yeah definitely it's like i typically stay around what i know
• 2:09
  but i have my eye on other things and occasionally i'll try them but then i'll come back what's the
• 2:17
  most um like the most adventurous thing you've eaten or tried caviar maybe really that it um
• 2:29
  that feels like the most exotic thing but i wouldn't call it adventurous well no because i
• 2:35
  mean it's pretty common and fine dining and stuff it's not my example would be uh escargot
• 2:43
  oh i've tried that yeah i think i've tried that once too it's i hated it it was disgusting i'm a
• 2:50
  very like it's like chewy it's it's like i'm a very textural eater so if the texture of it is
• 2:56
  gross i can't handle it and then also just thinking on top of that that these are snails
• 3:00
  is not yeah particularly palatable so i know my my dad likes escargot quite a bit i think he just likes the garlic butter i would say for me probably alligator i was gonna say that too but like pop like i get it
• 3:19
  a papado papado yeah but it's just like breaded i know it doesn't seem adventurous it doesn't it
• 3:25
  feels like cheating to say that that was an adventurous thing that i tried because it was
• 3:29
  like it was just like deep fried breaded uh but yes also yeah papadoes and it was one of those
• 3:35
  things like in college when uh like a friend's dad came to town so he like took like a group of
• 3:43
  college like it's like oh like all right get your friends together i'll take you all to dinner like
• 3:48
  oh mr johnson's so cool yeah and so it was like a weird awkward dinner with somebody's dad
• 3:53
  but well i mean awkward because it's like it'd be fine if it was just us there because keep them
• 3:58
  to talk to me. I'm just trying to eat this alligator.
• 4:00
  I know. And there's this middle-aged man
• 4:02
  who insists I'm paying for my meal.
• 4:04
  Oh, I've got it. I think that would
• 4:05
  fall under exotic too.
• 4:08
  The alligator?
• 4:09
  Yes, but not as common. Caviar
• 4:11
  is really common. You're right. It is super
• 4:14
  common. Anyway, I think
• 4:16
  ostrich egg.
• 4:18
  Ooh.
• 4:19
  You've had that? Yeah, one time my dad brought one home
• 4:22
  and it was humongous.
• 4:23
  Yeah. And he's like, we're going to eat it
• 4:25
  for breakfast. And like
• 4:27
  he like made scrambled eggs with it.
• 4:30
  Not good.
• 4:31
  It's all conditioning because you like what you are used to,
• 4:35
  but not a clear taste difference from chicken egg.
• 4:39
  Oh, that's weird.
• 4:39
  And I feel the same way about quail eggs.
• 4:41
  Sometimes people put quail eggs in the thing.
• 4:42
  I'm like, no, I don't like it.
• 4:44
  Hmm.
• 4:45
  A lot of yolk.
• 4:47
  Yeah.
• 4:47
  That's, I, I, I'm not like,
• 4:51
  I'm preconditioned to be, to like, not,
• 4:55
  if I think something's going to be gross
• 4:57
  I'm like I can't handle it very well
• 5:00
  like when they do like they don't really do it
• 5:02
  on Survivor anymore but they used to like old
• 5:04
  like back in the day they would have challenges where they'd
• 5:06
  give them like gross stuff to eat and it was like who could
• 5:08
  finish it first it'd be like I 100%
• 5:10
  I know I would just be like no I'm
• 5:12
  I'm failing at this I'm not going to do it
• 5:14
  like I will throw up for sure
• 5:15
  my like my TV in my bedroom
• 5:18
  which I use for like watching sitcoms
• 5:20
  before I fall asleep like it
• 5:21
  defaults to like cable television
• 5:24
  and the channel that it always goes to is Fear Factor.
• 5:26
  The old ones?
• 5:28
  The old Fear Factors, like old Joe Rogan Fear Factors.
• 5:32
  And the one that was on last night was like this guy had to eat,
• 5:37
  like it was a bowl of scorpion and tarantulas
• 5:41
  that had basically been mashed up.
• 5:43
  So it was just like gross, like pus goo,
• 5:46
  but also too they left like tentacles and like legs in there.
• 5:49
  It was disgusting.
• 5:50
  Yeah.
• 5:51
  And he ate all of them.
• 5:53
  I can't do it.
• 5:54
  It's making me sick right now.
• 5:57
  There's a reason the parlor doesn't have mashed up scorpions on the menu.
• 6:01
  Yeah.
• 6:02
  And now, improv.
• 6:11
  Honey?
• 6:12
  Yeah?
• 6:14
  We're at our favorite restaurant.
• 6:15
  I love it here I love it here I love it here But I always always get the same thing I know That what I love about you You very dependable Happy anniversary by the way Thank you
• 6:26
  Thank you so much.
• 6:27
  Happy anniversary to you, too.
• 6:28
  Oh, you didn't have to say that.
• 6:30
  Seven years.
• 6:31
  We did it.
• 6:31
  It's the magic number.
• 6:32
  I know.
• 6:33
  Seven.
• 6:34
  I think I'm going to go a little crazy.
• 6:38
  What?
• 6:39
  I'm sorry.
• 6:40
  Maybe it's the seven-year itch.
• 6:42
  Itch?
• 6:43
  Yeah.
• 6:43
  You ever heard that phrase?
• 6:44
  Yes, I have.
• 6:45
  seven year itch.
• 6:46
  Seven year itch.
• 6:47
  Usually doesn't apply to relationships.
• 6:49
  It implies you want to get out of them,
• 6:51
  but that's not what you mean.
• 6:52
  No, no, no.
• 6:53
  I just, no, no.
• 6:54
  I'm just.
• 6:54
  Seven year adventurous itch.
• 6:56
  Yes.
• 6:57
  Yeah, exactly.
• 6:58
  I think I'm going to try something different.
• 7:01
  Now, you know how we,
• 7:06
  like most restaurants will have like a lobster tank
• 7:09
  that you can choose from.
• 7:12
  Yeah.
• 7:12
  This restaurant has a gigantic box with a big question mark on it.
• 7:20
  And I've always wondered what it would be like if we just ordered whatever.
• 7:23
  I know.
• 7:23
  And they don't let you watch other people choose from it.
• 7:26
  Yeah.
• 7:26
  So we never know.
• 7:27
  And then you never see those people.
• 7:28
  Wow.
• 7:30
  You're going to pick from the mystery box?
• 7:31
  I'm going to order the mystery box.
• 7:34
  Okay.
• 7:36
  I'm not ready.
• 7:37
  Oh, no, I understand.
• 7:39
  I'm going to stick with my chicken piccata.
• 7:40
  I totally get it.
• 7:42
  Okay.
• 7:42
  And you know how I am.
• 7:44
  So I am not going to be sharing this.
• 7:47
  No, no, I know.
• 7:48
  Okay.
• 7:48
  I know who I married seven years ago.
• 7:51
  I love you, Beth.
• 7:53
  Do you remember our vows?
• 7:55
  Yeah, I do.
• 7:56
  And you said in sickness and health, but not in sharing food.
• 7:59
  And everyone laughed.
• 8:00
  Everyone laughed.
• 8:01
  But I was serious.
• 8:01
  It was a fun moment.
• 8:02
  But you were serious.
• 8:04
  I knew.
• 8:04
  I knew you were serious.
• 8:06
  Okay.
• 8:06
  Well, let's do this.
• 8:09
  Yeah.
• 8:09
  Have we all decided what we're going to get?
• 8:15
  Yeah.
• 8:15
  I'd like to start with the gentleman.
• 8:17
  Thank you.
• 8:20
  I'll have the usual.
• 8:21
  Piccata for you.
• 8:23
  So cute.
• 8:23
  So sweet.
• 8:24
  Okay.
• 8:25
  Let me just write that down.
• 8:26
  Put a heart over the eye.
• 8:28
  And for you.
• 8:32
  Well, I want to.
• 8:35
  I know you probably think I'm going to get my usual.
• 8:37
  Yes.
• 8:38
  Steakums.
• 8:39
  Mm-hmm.
• 8:41
  But.
• 8:42
  What?
• 8:42
  I already wrote it down.
• 8:43
  No, cross it off.
• 8:45
  You're not getting your steakums?
• 8:47
  I'm not getting steakums.
• 8:48
  Not today.
• 8:49
  Oh, my God.
• 8:50
  The itch has come for me.
• 8:53
  Oh, she's itchy.
• 8:54
  I'm real itchy.
• 8:56
  Oh, wow.
• 8:57
  What are you going to get?
• 9:00
  I'd like to get the mystery box.
• 9:06
  The what?
• 9:08
  Oh, she's the mystery.
• 9:08
  Oh, honey, honey, she fainted.
• 9:13
  Do something.
• 9:13
  I'm okay.
• 9:14
  I'm back.
• 9:15
  I'm okay.
• 9:15
  I'm okay.
• 9:16
  I'm in orthopedics.
• 9:17
  Oh, good.
• 9:18
  Okay.
• 9:18
  I'm sorry.
• 9:20
  I just, you, you shocked me.
• 9:22
  Yeah.
• 9:23
  The mystery box?
• 9:25
  You sure?
• 9:26
  I positive I positive I ready for the mystery box Let me just drape this curtain around y table I be right back with the box
• 9:36
  Okay.
• 9:37
  Honey, are you sure about this? This is... I mean, she fainted. She never faints.
• 9:42
  We call her the Never Faint Waitress.
• 9:44
  I know. I can't believe I broke her. She's gonna have to get a new nickname.
• 9:49
  This is... I mean, you don't have to do this.
• 9:52
  Our marriage is exciting enough. You don't have to...
• 9:54
  Honey?
• 9:56
  Honey?
• 9:57
  Oh, wait.
• 9:59
  She's beckoning me over to the giant box.
• 10:02
  I have to go.
• 10:03
  I think this is where I leave you.
• 10:05
  Okay.
• 10:06
  If my food gets here, can I start?
• 10:10
  Yeah, don't wait for me.
• 10:13
  I don't remember.
• 10:14
  I remember that in your vows, too.
• 10:16
  I eat my food immediately upon receiving it.
• 10:20
  And everyone laughed.
• 10:21
  Everyone laughed.
• 10:22
  Yeah.
• 10:22
  All right.
• 10:23
  Okay, well.
• 10:24
  When I come back from the mystery box, I think I'll be a different person.
• 10:29
  Okay.
• 10:30
  Love you.
• 10:32
  Love you too, honey.
• 10:32
  See you on the other side.
• 10:33
  You don't have to say that.
• 10:34
  Okay.
• 10:36
  Um, sorry.
• 10:38
  Um, I'm ready for you.
• 10:40
  Are you, are you sure you want to do this?
• 10:43
  Yes.
• 10:44
  Okay.
• 10:44
  And you just...
• 10:44
  Waitress who only fainted once.
• 10:47
  Oh, that has a ring.
• 10:48
  It has a ring.
• 10:48
  It's a new one.
• 10:49
  I like it.
• 10:50
  Yeah, I like it too.
• 10:51
  It shows you can evolve too.
• 10:52
  I can evolve.
• 10:53
  Speaking of evolution, I need you to sign these NDAs and waivers.
• 10:59
  Okay.
• 11:00
  All right.
• 11:01
  Can't sue.
• 11:02
  Okay.
• 11:03
  Anything bad happens, that's on you.
• 11:05
  We like our stuff to rhyme.
• 11:08
  This is one of the reasons I love this restaurant.
• 11:11
  Oh, you missed an initial.
• 11:12
  Even if you turn blue.
• 11:14
  I normally get the Steakums Steakums, but not today.
• 11:17
  Mystery box, here I come.
• 11:19
  All right.
• 11:20
  It's just us.
• 11:21
  Now, I now put the curtain around your table.
• 11:26
  If you want to bring this food back to your table, this mystery box food,
• 11:29
  you're going to have to, you know, hide it.
• 11:31
  Right, no, I can't let it.
• 11:32
  It's a big secret.
• 11:34
  I just, I'm glad I get to, but the box has a door on it.
• 11:39
  I get to walk inside the box.
• 11:42
  Open the door and then I will.
• 11:44
  Leave me to it?
• 11:46
  Yes, but I'll probably also still be there so that I can explain what.
• 11:50
  you're seeing.
• 11:52
  Alright, I'm going in.
• 11:55
  Me too.
• 11:57
  Okay.
• 11:58
  Here we are in a dark room. Pull that string.
• 12:00
  A light will come on.
• 12:03
  Now the light is on.
• 12:06
  Look at that table. Do you see it?
• 12:08
  Oh my god.
• 12:11
  Come closer.
• 12:12
  Wow.
• 12:13
  Look.
• 12:14
  I'm looking.
• 12:17
  Thank god you're here because I don't know what this is.
• 12:19
  It's chicken piccata.
• 12:20
  scene