Latest / Jess Ask / Portraying Limits vs Being Yourself: A Mindset Revolution | Featuring JD Fomby | EP37

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Portraying Limits vs Being Yourself: A Mindset Revolution | Featuring JD Fomby | EP37 · Jess Ask

• 0:06
  Hey, it's your girl, Jess. You've just entered a safe space for
• 0:10
  Kingdom entrepreneurs and creatives to decompress, have fun, and yeah, you've guessed
• 0:16
  it a safe place to just ask. Before we get into it, be
• 0:21
  sure to subscribe and download the podcast, follow me on all platforms at the
• 0:27
  Jessica, Estimith and invital friend. Also make sure you d m me your
• 0:35
  feedback and questions so we can keep the conversation going. Now, let's get
• 0:40
  into this week's episode. Are I'm just saying, I'm just saying, you
• 0:49
  got to think about the word portray, to portray, to portray something,
• 0:57
  portraying something you know. So I've learned a lot about that. I've learned
• 1:02
  a lot, you know. I'm such a chameleon of so many different blends
• 1:06
  of things. So you have to find like how do you find your authenticity
• 1:11
  when you're good at like imitating and portraying everything you know. So we're gonna
• 1:15
  get see you already in my notes, glory to be in the notes,
• 1:23
  in the note, in the Hallelujah, And when you're in the brain,
• 1:30
  you're usually be in the notes. It's a word, it's it's always a
• 1:42
  word. You know, it's crazy. So like my wife is like,
• 1:47
  I don't, like I have a lot of thoughts, you know that run
• 1:49
  through my mind and stuff like that. I just talked. I was I
• 1:53
  was sought to analyze a lot, and in a very important sector of my
• 1:59
  life. I had to learn how to think very quickly and like process and
• 2:02
  actively listening and stuff like that. So I'm always thinking about stuff and processing
• 2:07
  things. And you know, I'm at the age now where you try to
• 2:10
  get to the point of, Okay, what did I learn in this whole
• 2:14
  first sort of you know, just round up, you know, this summation
• 2:19
  of what my life has become. And when you do that, you kind
• 2:22
  of find yourself in a place where it's like, man, I don't want
• 2:28
  to portray anything. I just want to be whatever whatever I was intended,
• 2:32
  like intending myself to be. I want to be that. But with all
• 2:36
  the experience of like what life gives you that tells you, hey, you
• 2:40
  may can't do it like what you're trying to portray, you know. And
• 2:44
  I feel like a lot of times that's what we are as children or just
• 2:49
  as kids, you know, you have this. I just had always a
• 2:52
  huge imagination, so My imagination always led me to try to portray everything that
• 2:57
  I saw that I liked, which led me to being wanting to be like
• 3:02
  you know that goes into the whole sector of a cycle that just is like
• 3:06
  us as humans, you know what he was life goals Right now, the
• 3:15
  audio is great because I'm so interested in this contraption, bro. I watched
• 3:21
  way too many spot movies, like, I feel like I need one of
• 3:23
  these. It looks like something off the spot. I feel like it's something
• 3:27
  that that you know, like Double seven would have had, that would have
• 3:30
  been like as long as he get the reactor to charge at a certain point.
• 3:36
  Those are my other random thoughts. And you know, but what makes
• 3:39
  you great? But I don't know how far in this conversation that we've already
• 3:45
  gotten, y'all. But I don't think we started. We started, we
• 3:49
  have. I think my wife thinks I talk too much, talk a lot.
• 3:53
  I don't know if you, but you be talking though, but you've
• 3:58
  been talking about I think she be getting tired of talking to me. That's
• 4:01
  what it is. May you be getting tired of talking to me, though,
• 4:04
  It's it's she begetting tired to talk downstairs working she held downstairs. Down
• 4:15
  yo, yo yo, it's your girl, Jessica Smith, and I am
• 4:17
  super excited to invite you into the safe space. Into the safe space.
• 4:23
  What's up? What's up? What's welcome to another week of just ass the
• 4:27
  podcast? Where we God dog, I almost forgot the slock doesn't get me
• 4:31
  together? Give we create a space place for what's the s place? Can
• 4:38
  we can we go with the place? Why are you no, no no,
• 4:41
  I was just asking a space. You don't have to trying to talk
• 4:46
  with no no, no, I get I need that trouble because I want
• 4:49
  to. I want to fix what's going on up. It's a lot that
• 4:53
  went on by you know. I want to. I definitely want to do
• 4:56
  that. I want to. I want to get bracest though. But yeah,
• 4:58
  that's all right from from the top and let's go cut. I mean,
• 5:03
  actually it's gonna be on here anyway. Roll with its, roll with
• 5:08
  it. Okay, that's what's up? I like to you just got a
• 5:12
  random mic just cause she's just make a comment. Never know you like you're
• 5:15
  gonna be like my like my hype man, that's what's up. Like she's
• 5:19
  a part of the conversation. Bro. I wanted to be like a job.
• 5:21
  I could be like, hey, yo, I'm offering third party,
• 5:25
  like the third party opinions on everybody's podcast with Mic because when I don't have
• 5:30
  a guess right, great conversation. That's these are good. I'm excited.
• 5:34
  That is great. You guys said, I'm okay, Yeah, I'm one.
• 5:39
  I'm nervous, are you ner? I'm not nervous. I'm nervous because
• 5:42
  no one can see me. No, they can't see. That's but see
• 5:46
  they can't though, but I'm saying they can. You know what I'm saying,
• 5:49
  Like this ain't live. Nobody can see me live. You know what
• 5:53
  I'm saying. I mean, but they see, but they will eventually.
• 5:55
  But you don't know what part goes on with Okay, so before you go,
• 5:59
  you know, before he goes up. See, I'm already sweating.
• 6:02
  So for those of you that can't tell by now, this is none other
• 6:10
  than I'm gonna say this. Let me preface this how I'm introduce you.
• 6:14
  I know you are my coach, but folks, don't I got to say
• 6:16
  your name. That's okay because the is gonna be giving. Okay, and
• 6:21
  that's the piece. Listen, your wife made me this way. Wife is
• 6:27
  If that's the case, I feel she's definitely an animated She's an animated woman.
• 6:32
  There, she's made me this way. She is beautiful inside and now
• 6:36
  that is true. Coach J D. Bunby, what's going on, y'all?
• 6:41
  How you doing? Listen? I'm so excited to have him here.
• 6:44
  If you don't know, he is a mindset coach, he is an entrepreneur.
• 6:51
  He is originally from Birmingham, Alabama, So shout out to be him.
• 6:57
  Yeah yeah, yeah, boom boom. Born in Jersey, he's in
• 7:00
  Birmingham, So well, excuse me. You know, I don't know.
• 7:02
  I came down here when I was like eight. Yeah, so pretty much
• 7:05
  just claim your city. It's okay. I'm not not claiming, you know,
• 7:10
  I just got you know, if I was born and everybody got to
• 7:15
  be your somewhere, you know what I'm saying, Like, you don't want
• 7:16
  to just you don't want to just be like where you from And I'm from
• 7:20
  up the street, like a man, I really thought that. I don't
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  know, I don't know, you know, but it's kind of basic.
• 7:27
  But you black folks stay doing it. You got to be from somewhere,
• 7:30
  a story from somewhere other than where you're from, right, But y'all,
• 7:35
  Coach j D is from well, from Birmingham by the way of He's also
• 7:44
  an author that I am. He's a father and one thing you don't know
• 7:48
  if you if you don't follow him, you don't know this. He has
• 7:50
  won the Stellar Award for the best Praise break the bridge praise you know,
• 7:58
  the praise break what you do with Yeah, you know you listen, it
• 8:03
  was if they if it was one though, I'm a that's my prophetic,
• 8:07
  prophetic that just put it in your pocket. I'll take that one. Listen.
• 8:11
  If y'all, if y'all need to learn how to do the praise breaking
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  church, I promise you he hass a tour. It's a it's a it's
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  a it's a dance. Man. I'm like fourth generation church, so I
• 8:22
  come from a long lineage of you know, we we shout, dance,
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  run around, speaking tongues, the whole nine. So you know, I'm
• 8:28
  a blend of all that good stuff. But I have a very very vehement
• 8:33
  praise praise God. Yeah, listen, vehem it. Can you look up
• 8:37
  for him? You can coach j D. I know you're very fluent with
• 8:41
  your words, but we here, we just need a little talking about what
• 8:50
  is? But what is? It's just to me like you do it a
• 8:52
  very strong, a very strong sort of display or very passionate way, forceful.
• 9:00
  Okay, keep this phone now, the great feeling there you go,
• 9:05
  there you go. See. Yeah, I praise God that way because he
• 9:09
  will pull vocabulary words out and scripture. So we're ready. Well, you
• 9:15
  know, you got to study to show yourself approved. So you know I
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  used to love to, you know, cram study when I was younger,
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  and then I went to college and learned that you couldn't cram study everything.
• 9:26
  And then life taught me a lot of stuff. So I'm a summation of
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  a whole lot of things that I've learned over time. So a lot of
• 9:33
  that was, you know, how people perceive you has everything to do with
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  how they receive you. So okay, let's break. My dad taught me
• 9:45
  that you got you gotta elaborate on it. So talking about the mindset,
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  you know, when you get older, you start to realize things that you
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  know older people told you, or you know, people you looked up to
• 9:58
  kind of told you and you know my dad's very instrumental life. Shout out
• 10:01
  to my pops past Keneth Fombi, one of the greatest inspirations in my life,
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  and he told me something that's stuck with me, and it's kind of
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  helped me how I present myself to a certain degree. He said, my
• 10:15
  son, how you are perceived has everything to do how with how you will
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  be received. And so no matter what place I was in, some people
• 10:24
  may say, oh, I'm just keeping it real or I'm doing this.
• 10:28
  There's a time and a place for everything, And I feel like sometimes we
• 10:31
  cut ourselves shorts for not growing to a mindset of outside the box of just
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  keeping it real, because certain levels have certain languages, you know, and
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  once you realize that, it doesn't come a point of like keeping it real,
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  it's almost to a point of where the Scripture says that, you know,
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  like Paul, I became all things to all men that I may win
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  them. So I've always wanted to enlighten myself and my territory, my knowledge,
• 10:58
  my circle, to always expand myself to be in any place that now
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  I understand, like we were talking about earlier, the level of portray it's
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  not to just portray that I can fit anywhere, but it's to be able
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  to blend in a place that I know who I am now and now my
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  light can shine at any level because I have the language of a bunch of
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  different levels and that comes with the growth mindset that you kind of have to
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  It's like a lifetime thing, man, you know, you have to be
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  dedicated to it. So it's something that I've I've really taken to heart and
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  I've seen great I mean leaps and bounds, you know, just really focusing
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  on my mindset for sure. Listen you it's no subtle conversation. He just
• 11:39
  didn't went all the way in. We were off camera and I was like,
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  wait, hold up, this is this is mike worthy. But how
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  do you how do you how does one manage the perception like making it plan?
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  Like, how do you manage because if I'm somebody else and I'm like,
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  for you two three years ago, so you're not the same you're not
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  in the same space, you're not in the same way. People know you
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  one way, but now you've changed and you've altered, but the perception is
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  still what you were two or three years ago. So how do you manage
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  one's perception. So another thing that it was a quote that I heard that
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  that really stuck with me says, this too shall pass. It's in the
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  Bible. So whatever perception that is someone's, that's that's their world. And
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  there's a statement that said perception is reality, which is very true. So
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  truth is perception based off of facts. So a person can interpret the facts
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  of something very differently than the person doing it for someone else, like or
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  someone or someone that they're disagreeing with, which is the reason we have judges
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  and different things, because someone has to weigh the facts against what two people's
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  not like their levels of reality is their truth, but it's also their perception.
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  So what happened is for me that I got so caught up with the
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  perception that I realized I was like unending inside, but on the outside,
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  I was trying to keep up this certain perception. So that's when I feel
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  like you get too obsessed with what people perceive of you that you don't care
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  what you're going through behind the scenes as long as they view you a certain
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  way. That's why you have people who we deem successful, but they were
• 13:30
  unhinged behind the scenes and things were just going you know, so tumultuously.
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  So for me, that was happening because I was trying to manage that perception.
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  And what I realized is that it's never my responsibility of a person's perception,
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  just as long as the one that I have of myself is to the
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  person that I'm committed to being by my standards and morals and values. So
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  for me, the perception I have of myself is the only one that I
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  should be obsessed with. I can't perceive what anybody else thinks of me,
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  but I can learn the language to where I can be perceived as a level
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  to where I'm accepted beyond a level of you just don't know what to do
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  here. No, I know what to do everywhere by my perception of how
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  I speak or how I present myself. I can manage those things, but
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  my actions and what I've done in my past you have to leave those things
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  because your vision for your life it grows with your mindset. So I can't
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  stay in the perception of what people expect of me. That only will keep
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  me in a box for so long. So if I want to keep going
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  and keep going, perception of who I am is going to constantly change.
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  So I have to loosely care about what your perception of me is, but
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  do it with respect to understand that I need to carry myself that's perceived in
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  a way that is okay, what are you saying. I'm saying whatever I
• 14:52
  need to say in order to get to that next level of who I believe
• 14:56
  I perceive to be. I know that was a lot that It was a
• 15:01
  lot, so I don't know if that correct. My wife said, I
• 15:05
  talked very long. We was looking at this video the other night. I
• 15:09
  gotta say this, and she was like, this person he was going around
• 15:13
  like the whole subject of the answer, and it was so long, and
• 15:18
  she just busts out laughing, and I was like what And she was like,
• 15:20
  that's how you explained stuff. I was like, no, bro,
• 15:26
  that's cold, because I was tired of him talking. So I'm glad that
• 15:28
  this is a podcast hopefully to have time to break that down. The thing
• 15:33
  is, some stuff is you can't explain lightly, though, yeah, like
• 15:37
  you you're painting a picture for especially people. When we think about the mind,
• 15:41
  like we sometimes we can take it loosely, right, and the Bible
• 15:45
  is so specific about the mind. It even thinks about I think about a
• 15:50
  scripture as a man thinking in his heart. So is he that won the
• 15:52
  scripture? But that's a good okay. Or let this mind be in you
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  that's also in Christ Jesus, or the one that set your mind on things
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  above, set your affections that I think about and not beneath. Oh yeah,
• 16:06
  set your mind and things above and not beneath, And be not conformed
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  to this world, be transformed by the newing of your mind, and like
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  you know, cast out every week and thought and even the imagination that was
• 16:14
  all itself against God. Like. So I had to learn a lot of
• 16:17
  scriptures on the mind. Can say they like, oh he's speak, but
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  no, for real, I had to learn those things because what I realized
• 16:25
  is that it's not like the knowing of the Word of God for me was
• 16:30
  the beginning of the knowledge of k of what I should do, But then
• 16:33
  the application of it was where it kind of got it got murky, right,
• 16:38
  So I armed myself with the word. But then there comes a point
• 16:42
  to where the word you have it and you know it, but then it's
• 16:48
  just like it's just straight discipline is like the Word is only there for you
• 16:52
  to make a conscious decision, because the Bible says him that knoweth to do
• 16:56
  right and do with it, not sent Some people don't know no better.
• 17:02
  So you you know, like, I don't care what you say. Oh
• 17:04
  they knew that. They knew this, Boble says, you know, the
• 17:07
  heart of man deceit for the wicked. Who knows it but God. So
• 17:11
  we can judge people, yes, by their actions, but there's a certain
• 17:14
  point of where we all get to a knowing. And for me, it
• 17:18
  was so much that I knew that I didn't really I didn't really perceive it
• 17:22
  as like something I needed to like really like, Okay, I knew the
• 17:27
  word everybody know them, So for me it wasn't really I had to learn
• 17:32
  those things to arm myself. But then it came past that level of just
• 17:34
  mindset. That was just a level of discipline. So knowledge was one thing,
• 17:38
  but application was like why there was a whole nother, whole nother ballgame.
• 17:44
  So you said the word the word discipline, And I feel like we
• 17:48
  use certain words so loosely, you know what I'm saying, Like discipline sucks?
• 17:52
  Can you say that louder in the I mean, that's true, Like
• 17:55
  discipline sucks like bro discipline is is. It sucks like nobody wants to do
• 18:02
  it. It's just a level of what do you want long enough to delay
• 18:07
  yourself the satisfaction of it in order for it to kind of build that delayed
• 18:12
  gratification later. So discipline can be People without the word of God have discipline.
• 18:21
  And that's when I realized it was more than just the word of God
• 18:23
  that I needed to arm myself with, because discipline is just it's ugly,
• 18:29
  it's tiring, it's like day after day, it's monotonous. But I was
• 18:33
  a trainer, and I've been a professional fitness trainer for over like fifteen years,
• 18:37
  and the ones that just kept showing up, I'll tell people just show
• 18:41
  up, just show up, and they would sometimes come. Like, your
• 18:45
  emotions are going to go up and down because they enhance our life, but
• 18:48
  when you're driven by them, you'll get on a spiral that you'll never be
• 18:53
  able to control. So discipline is, like, I feel like, the
• 18:56
  key to making sure that those emotions are released at the right time that they
• 19:00
  don't cost you, you know, years of sacrifice or consequences that you end
• 19:04
  up having to suffer for a long time, so trust me, I know
• 19:07
  about all types of suffering. Listen, listen. One of the stories that
• 19:12
  come to mind where you you're saying so much and I have like five questions
• 19:17
  at the same time. Yes, what you said, So I'm gonna just
• 19:19
  go go with the last question. Okay. That basically, like you said,
• 19:25
  you have a lot of examples, and I would I think that one
• 19:29
  of the most powerful mindset shift examples, that is your reality is when is
• 19:36
  it a vertebrate? Is this what you call it? Yes, that's what
• 19:38
  you harmed, right, L four vertebrate? So can you walk us through
• 19:44
  the process of how your mind, your mindset got you back walking? Oh
• 19:48
  my goodness, man. So like I remember vividly being like, you know,
• 19:59
  I broke my back in a car wreck and cracked my elf for vertebrae
• 20:02
  in half. And I remember going into surgery and I remember being in this
• 20:07
  cold, this cold hallway, and it was like the people they were bringing
• 20:11
  in and out of surgery and stuff like that, and I was headed to
• 20:15
  get the was it the anesthesia, I think? And I remember sitting there
• 20:19
  and it was so cold, and I remember like I remember a tear going
• 20:25
  down my face because it was like, man, what am I going to
• 20:29
  do? Like if I can't walk again? Like like what if this is
• 20:33
  my moment where the graces ran out and this doctor messed up? Like what
• 20:40
  if you cut the wrong nerve? Like you know, your spinal cord is
• 20:45
  about thin as like a thinly bolled carrot, Like if you boiled a carrot
• 20:49
  and cut a slither out of it. They said, that's how thin your
• 20:52
  your spinal cord is. So that's right down you know, my l vertebrae
• 20:56
  where it cracked like right before it got to the point where it was supposed
• 21:00
  to like sever my spinal cords. So I'm like, could this be it
• 21:04
  for me? And I remember coming out of surgery and just remember like trying
• 21:10
  to move, and I remember like the pain that like I had never felt
• 21:15
  like in my life. And I remember trying to move my legs. And
• 21:18
  my mindset then was like, Yo, you deserve this. Whoa, Yeah,
• 21:26
  I think that's probably the first time I probably even ever said that.
• 21:30
  Yeah, my mindset was like, even if you don't walk like you deserve
• 21:36
  it. That's the truth, that's the truth of the matter. Yeah,
• 21:41
  I mean I felt like, you know, it was it was just so
• 21:47
  much that I had ran from. You know what I'm saying, Like,
• 21:52
  I think that's the first time I've ever said that, Yeah, because that's
• 21:56
  crazy. Yeah. I probably because like I felt like I deserved it,
• 22:03
  you know, because it was like, you know, I knew so much
• 22:07
  and I had this this person I was trying to portray that I was a
• 22:10
  good guy, and I felt like I was, but I lost like a
• 22:12
  piece of who I was as a person. And you know, when I
• 22:19
  start thinking, like now, just looking back on it, like if I
• 22:22
  hadn't walked, like I think, I was like, that's probably what gave
• 22:26
  God like the level of like honesty that he needed from me, that like
• 22:33
  gave him the grace to allow me to walk. It's because, like,
• 22:37
  looking back on it, if I had to be like real about it,
• 22:41
  like I was like, man, you deserved it. Job bro, like
• 22:47
  you because you get to a point like you look up, you're like,
• 22:49
  man, who did I become? You know? So my mindset I think
• 22:56
  going into it was, you know, whatever came afterwards, I was kind
• 23:00
  of okay with because I felt that this was my penance, like whatever was
• 23:07
  about to start for my life, Like those are the consequences that just have
• 23:11
  built up because I knew so much, you know, and I had such
• 23:15
  a good heart that had just turned you know, cold because of a situation
• 23:21
  that changed that. I was just like nobody cares, and I was always
• 23:23
  a sensitive guy, So I was always like the one that you know,
• 23:27
  I just wanted everybody to be happy and just have joy and peace and all
• 23:32
  that stuff. So you know, when life didn't turn out that way,
• 23:36
  just because I wanted everybody to have fun, like it turned out the way,
• 23:38
  I was like, okay. So you know, I became a villain
• 23:42
  to a certain degree, like I didn't really care. And I think after
• 23:48
  that situation coming to grips that whatever happened with my life after that I was
• 23:56
  okay with probably was the reason that God gave me the grace to walk because
• 24:02
  I was just honest, like I didn't I didn't know if I would.
• 24:06
  I didn't have faith that I would. I'd had no faith that I would
• 24:08
  be the same person. You know, I've always been very fit, I've
• 24:11
  been athletic, I've always been built, you know, and I thought all
• 24:15
  that was over, you know, like I had clients, you know,
• 24:19
  like you just don't know, and I think the honesty in me admitting that
• 24:26
  my consequences that had brought me here God was almost like that's all I wanted
• 24:33
  from you, man, you know what I'm saying. So Man, that
• 24:37
  just that just got real. Thank you for yeah, that transparent moment because
• 24:41
  that, Yeah, I don't think because I've never said that. I've never
• 24:45
  said like, I've never had that question. It's like, dang, what
• 24:49
  was I thinking. It's like, man, if I thought back on,
• 24:51
  it's like, dang, bro, you deserve it. Like that's crazy because
• 24:55
  I ain't never said that, Like you wouldn't want to wish that on yourself.
• 24:57
  But how do you how do you not get stuck? Like how do
• 25:02
  you make well? You can use yourself as an example, like how did
• 25:06
  you get out of that moment? You know what I'm saying because it's one
• 25:10
  thing. It's one thing that's like I know personally for me and maybe some
• 25:12
  viewers have had the same moment. It's like, yeah, I deserve this.
• 25:15
  I deserve them. I deserve not to walk, I deserve to be
• 25:21
  exposed. I deserve all of this. But how do you how did you
• 25:23
  take your mindset and shifted? I know it was a part of your honesty.
• 25:27
  But what is what are some practical moves you made to get out of
• 25:32
  that space? If I could be honest, it took years, man like
• 25:40
  and it's still like remnants of it that I put in place today. Thank
• 25:44
  God for a good support system, you know. I think that's that's one
• 25:48
  of the things that you know, it's very key and in a practical thing
• 25:52
  that you need to do. And it's a very unique answer, I feel
• 26:00
  like, because your support system can look different for how quickly you're growing.
• 26:06
  Mm, that's so good. Can we elaborate on that? So my support
• 26:14
  system now looks very different than where it was two years ago, three years
• 26:22
  ago, four years ago, five, six years ago. And you know,
• 26:26
  there's a core handful of people, but some have shifted in their level
• 26:32
  of like where their support is a lifeline. If that makes sense, it
• 26:37
  makes sense. And so one of the practical things was my support system.
• 26:42
  So back to the original thing. It took years. And the reason I
• 26:45
  say years is because after I got out of that situation where it's like because
• 26:51
  you can only cry a little poor me for so long before like your consequences
• 26:56
  don't care they're there, and whether you know it or not. When you're
• 27:00
  living in consequences, you're also living in future consequences because you're making present decisions.
• 27:06
  So like no, I mean being you can't you can't just walk over
• 27:19
  what you just saying. I'm serious, Like I just thought about it.
• 27:22
  I just I just thought about it. Because when when you're living in your
• 27:26
  consequences, you're actively setting the tone for future consequences because how you're perceiving,
• 27:34
  how you're living in your consequence is creating a further consequence, whether that be
• 27:41
  good or bad. So you can only loathe in self pity for so long.
• 27:45
  You can only loathe in I deserve this for so long. And for
• 27:51
  me, like I was never as free as I wanted to be, to
• 27:57
  be as emotionally cleanse unless I was drinking. Okay, yeah, like I
• 28:07
  had to. I had to. I had to drink because for me,
• 28:12
  the only way I could feel that that good cry, that one is like
• 28:18
  where you feel either all the anger that you need to let out or either
• 28:22
  all the emotion or the hurt you need to let out get you enough,
• 28:26
  or some good brow or some good white ya gonna get you a little bit
• 28:30
  in you if you do you'll have this emotional like depending where you were.
• 28:36
  For me, it was and let me tell you how I knew it was
• 28:38
  healing, but it became dual. Right. So for example, I would
• 28:44
  get like leave the party and I'm like hammered, right, and I'm I
• 28:49
  know, I'm just trying to get someone, but I'm overcome with emotion.
• 28:53
  And then I would cut on like a worship song, right, And then
• 28:56
  I would drive to like a church parking lot, and I would sit in
• 29:00
  the church parking lot and be like crying my eyes out, but I'm inebriated,
• 29:11
  but my heart is right there at the church, right. You see
• 29:17
  what I'm saying. So for me, it became like I felt bad and
• 29:23
  it was like, okay, now, mind you you making future consequences while
• 29:27
  you living in your consequence. My back is already gone. I'm out like
• 29:32
  I'm back walking, but I'm so I've lost like everything, you know what
• 29:36
  I'm saying. And it was like, man, where do I go from
• 29:40
  here? So now I'm making future choices because I'm living in the consequence,
• 29:45
  but all I can think about is the past consequences that I'm currently living.
• 29:49
  You see what I'm saying. So now I'm making decisions to where now.
• 29:55
  I remember going to to the liquor store. I'm leaving. I'm working as
• 29:57
  like a server or a bar two under somewhere and I'm just you know,
• 30:03
  trying to figure out life. And I'm like, man, so I go
• 30:07
  to the store. I leave the liquor store and I'm about to go like
• 30:11
  I'm off work or whatever, and I'm driving around and I'm looking at I
• 30:15
  remember this counseling center and I remember how it was like not too far from
• 30:21
  the liquor store. So I pulled up and I remember pulling up there by
• 30:26
  myself, and I just like I had the bottle right there in the pass
• 30:30
  your seat. And then I'm looking at the counseling center and I'm just like
• 30:36
  crying, and I'm like, man, I just pulled in. And I
• 30:40
  pull in and I'm like get myself together. I'm like, well, I'm
• 30:41
  gonna just go get some information, right, And I remember going and I'm
• 30:45
  knocking on the door and the lady she's coming out and doctor M. I'll
• 30:52
  never forget and shout out doctor M. She said. I was like,
• 30:56
  hey, can I get some information about you know, you know what you
• 31:00
  guys have in your program stuff. She was like, Okay, did the
• 31:04
  you know courts in you hear? Did the you know family police senior?
• 31:08
  Here? Did family courts and you hear? I was like, no,
• 31:12
  ma'am, it's me. I need help. And when I said I need
• 31:18
  help, Jess, bro, what I tell you, it was like the
• 31:22
  floodgates of Niagara Falls came out of my eyes. Bro. I like broke
• 31:27
  down in front of that lady with no alcohol, bro, not not any
• 31:32
  no, because I hadn't cracked a bottle yet. Like in my mind it
• 31:34
  was like I know, Like hearing myself say I needed help was so crazy
• 31:41
  for me because it was like I knew, let this mind be in you.
• 31:45
  This also in Christ. She's and be not conformed to this world,
• 31:48
  to be and you can do all things through Christ. I knew all the
• 31:52
  words, but the discipline came at a price where I didn't have the practical
• 31:56
  parameters to put around my mind. So it's funny you called me a mindset
• 32:00
  coach, and that was no less than like three years ago, like in
• 32:05
  twenty twenty one. Wow, you know what I'm saying, Like to be
• 32:08
  in this position is because I did put a lot of time into reaffirming a
• 32:15
  mindset and putting a lot of practical parameters like in place. So that was
• 32:22
  one of the things that I did. That's another thing, So environment was
• 32:23
  one. The second one is I got some form of natural help. Like
• 32:30
  for me, there was no way I can get a new mindset because,
• 32:34
  like you said, I could not get out of those consequences. So in
• 32:37
  order, I had the wrong repay, like the replay loop on replay in
• 32:43
  my head, like how am I here again? And no matter how much
• 32:46
  progress is going, it's almost like how am I here again? So I
• 32:52
  had to really go back to the basics of like YO, wake up,
• 32:57
  like with affirmations, like going to the simplest class, like I'm a college
• 33:01
  graduate, the first in my family to graduate from a four year university,
• 33:07
  first to get my bachelor's right, and I'm going to a counseling center with
• 33:12
  people that have like they're hard feelings. They're coming out because they have to
• 33:15
  do these programs. Some are they've lost their kids, you know what I'm
• 33:20
  saying. And I submitted myself under that because I was like, let me
• 33:22
  show you how real life can be if you don't get it. Together,
• 33:28
  and I met so many people there, one of the guys named Carmone,
• 33:31
  and every time I would go and I would probably just go in his office
• 33:35
  and cry all the time. I was just like, you're just crying every
• 33:37
  time, and he was always like, oh man, the best he had
• 33:40
  to come. And I couldnot fathom my mind so listen environment and the people.
• 33:47
  It changed so much because every day I would go to him, I
• 33:50
  would like call a text or you know, pray with me, like whatever
• 33:53
  it was, and he just always would put that he was like the best
• 33:55
  he had to come. And it was so crazy because nothing in my life
• 34:00
  spoke that the best was about to happen anywhere, you know. So Coach,
• 34:06
  that was the first one. Like that's the beautiful thing about what you
• 34:08
  just said. I really wanted to talk about that because real realistically, I
• 34:16
  can look at you. I can look at you and like, man,
• 34:19
  yeah it was you know, you got it now, so you know what
• 34:22
  I'm saying. And so it's like I don't have that now. How like
• 34:27
  my mind can't go beyond where I am. And so how do you speak
• 34:30
  to the person What do you say to that person that cannot take their mind?
• 34:36
  Like just struggling with taking their mind from where they are to where they
• 34:38
  shall be. So here's the thing. Remember when I was sorry, Remember
• 34:42
  when I told you in the beginning, right, I said it took years.
• 34:47
  Right, So that happened in twenty twenty one. Yeah, twenty twenty
• 34:52
  two. I'm still talking and going twenty twenty three. Like you see what
• 34:55
  I'm saying, Like, I'm still putting that in so many different things that
• 35:00
  led to me believing that it was even possible. I cannot stress environment enough.
• 35:09
  Like, I'll be real with you. If you don't change the environment,
• 35:15
  there's usually no sea that has really that bad of something like something systematically
• 35:24
  wrong with it, from like its biological perspective that causes it not to sprout.
• 35:30
  It is one thousand percent most times, right, the soil that is
• 35:37
  planted in it's so it doesn't really matter. And I you know, even
• 35:43
  a scripture comes to mind. Right, Faith is grand and musty. Faith
• 35:45
  is grained and musty. We just talked about the lightness or the lightness of
• 35:51
  really understanding the power of our words. If you really look at the depths
• 35:55
  of a mustard seed, it's a reason God use something of so small importance
• 36:00
  that would look on the outside as small, that resonates to this big,
• 36:05
  strong, firm foundation of the tree. Why because it was planted in the
• 36:10
  right soil. And so for someone who may be struggling, like I don't
• 36:17
  see it, I don't understand how to eat, i'd even hear it.
• 36:21
  You have to be like I mean all the way down to like changing the
• 36:23
  algorithms on your social media, like unfollowing everything you follow before the big breakup,
• 36:30
  unfollowing every person or friend or words that you were saying, like because
• 36:36
  you know, even le let's take it to reality. Today, our phones
• 36:38
  are listening to our conversations, so they're picking up our algorithms and all this
• 36:44
  other stuff. So you're seeing, you know, things, Oh my god,
• 36:46
  I was just talking about that. How do I get the ad?
• 36:49
  So your phone's listening to the things. So when you're in a desperate,
• 36:52
  dark place, you have to be very wise because here's the thing. What
• 36:57
  can be an aid to you only furthers as a man thinketh in his heart,
• 37:02
  so is he right? Life and death is in the power of tongue.
• 37:07
  The greatest assets we have now these cell phones, because you can do
• 37:09
  so much. We can reach like so many people right now because of this
• 37:13
  that's a positive thing, which that means that this hopefully reaches someone on an
• 37:16
  algorithm that is in that place where I need to only follow positive positivity,
• 37:22
  but at the same time not overly doing the positive, which I'm not even
• 37:27
  gonna get into that that's a whole other section. Like I really feel like
• 37:32
  there's a level of I've been you know, reading and doing some research like
• 37:37
  all last year, there was a level of positivity I smothered. For lack
• 37:44
  of a better word, I'm gonna used as a metaphor. So if you're
• 37:46
  at walf House, everybody been a waf house, you probably had a waffle
• 37:50
  right, right, so when you look at when you look at your life,
• 37:54
  right as, Okay, that's the wafflee you get from waf House positivity
• 37:59
  and sir. So for me, right, I was gonna smother by waffle
• 38:05
  in so much positivity that the negatives that were bothering me. I kept putting
• 38:08
  more application of the word right, ignoring, suppressing, just you know,
• 38:14
  talking it out when I wasn't fully accepting the reality of what I was living,
• 38:21
  which causes look, listen to this is so good, which causes a
• 38:25
  shortage of the negative needed to function at full capacity. You're telling the truth,
• 38:34
  right, So when you look at a battery, right, you look
• 38:37
  at a battery. Come on, now, you're short out with too much
• 38:42
  positivity. You're short out with too much negativity. So what I felt like
• 38:47
  in a lot of things, what I realized is even though remember I said
• 38:50
  years so how I'm all answering your question, how do you take someone who
• 38:53
  is there? First off, you have to understand this is like a lifelong
• 38:58
  journey. You got to commit it to reproducing this mindset every day and shutting
• 39:05
  off any feedback cycle that's causing you to doubt that the best could be to
• 39:12
  come for you, even in spite of what you've done. Right, So
• 39:16
  that comes with the mindset. So the first thing I do is I have
• 39:20
  to find that new environment. So back to what I said about like cutting
• 39:22
  off the negative feed loop. So the way I had to look at everything
• 39:28
  in my life was where am I receiving the most reminder of what I've done?
• 39:35
  Wait, okay, I'm gonna repeat what you just said. We have
• 39:38
  to realize where we're receiving the most reminder almost finders of what we've done,
• 39:46
  because we got folks probably taking those at this point because I met yes,
• 39:53
  okay, right right there, right okay, chick, so you have the
• 39:59
  for again. So for me, it was like I had to I had
• 40:02
  to really look at everywhere that I looked what reminded me of what I'd done
• 40:08
  and who I was, and I had to take it with a grain of
• 40:13
  salt and be like, yo, we ain't gonna ignore that you did that.
• 40:17
  That was you, ugly. I don't care how ugly it looks.
• 40:24
  It was you. You did that, accepted because guess what, the moment
• 40:31
  you don't accept it will be the moment that it pops up in the future
• 40:37
  and shorts out the capacity you need to move to that next level. Wow,
• 40:43
  Like, I don't care what it is, that lack of acceptance.
• 40:45
  So for me, I looked at so many reminders of like people that you
• 40:49
  know, I may have felt like I let down myself, people had let
• 40:54
  me down, people I had hurt, people that hurt me, you know,
• 40:58
  and I had to forgive them, whether in person or not, and
• 41:00
  then admit to moving on every single day, no matter how many times I
• 41:07
  had that loop that tried to feedback of the reminder like I refuse, which
• 41:13
  means that I had to get in the right environment. So I changed who
• 41:15
  I was talking to, I changed what I was talking about. I changed
• 41:20
  what I was reading. I changed And for me, like, I'm a
• 41:24
  big advocate for prayer fasting, ye, like I knew that the quicker I
• 41:30
  could expel this tethering of this spiritual connection to darkness that I had through the
• 41:37
  music I entertained the conversations at the places I had been. I was like,
• 41:40
  yo, I need a whole cleaning, and I knew we was gonna
• 41:43
  happen in like a moment, So I'm like, I need a lifestyle type
• 41:47
  deal. So for me, it was like prayer fasting was key. I'm
• 41:52
  gonna tell you right now, y'all, there's so much seeing that you can't
• 41:55
  think about when you're hungry. Like when you hungry, I'm just I'm not
• 42:01
  even trying to be sorry, cat, but it's so true. No,
• 42:05
  listen, it's so true when you hungry, you don't want to do nothing.
• 42:13
  Who want to go to the club when you like, I'm not saying
• 42:15
  these are sins, Listen, I believe that I'm of a model. If
• 42:19
  you like it, I love it. I am no heaven to hell to
• 42:21
  put nobody in. But I will say there are certain atmospheres that enhance places
• 42:25
  of repeated cycles that you just gotta be at. The mindset like yo,
• 42:30
  it's just like it may not sing you to hell or heaven. I'm not
• 42:35
  saying it will. I'm just saying you gotta know where you at. So
• 42:37
  for me, I knew, like for me if I literally ate the word,
• 42:44
  that one thing I always look at was the story of when Jesus was
• 42:47
  tempted in the wilderness, and the mindset he had when he said, won't
• 42:52
  you cast down to make these stones bred? You could easily do it?
• 42:55
  He said, don't you know that man shall not live by bread alone,
• 43:00
  but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of Christ. So in
• 43:04
  his mind I had to play in my head when I felt hungry that I
• 43:07
  would always tell myself, man shall not live by bread alone. Masha not
• 43:12
  live by bread alone, because I would get like dumb hungry, And I
• 43:14
  know my flesh is dying because I'm weak already. I'm forcing myself to read
• 43:17
  the Bible. I'm forcing myself to stop looking at like I knew it wasn't
• 43:22
  going to be a level of where I could do it and still keep the
• 43:27
  same level of like flesh alive in me, if that makes sense. So
• 43:30
  that's why, for example, other people that believe other things may say,
• 43:34
  you know, it may be like a detox or a cleanse. Other religions
• 43:37
  may say, hey, you know, they went on a spiritual journey or
• 43:39
  an epiphany. There's certain things that you'll alienate yourself from. It doesn't have
• 43:43
  to be food, but that you just alienate yourself from to really clear your
• 43:46
  mind, to understand that you need or refreshing to go forward. That's one
• 43:52
  of the things that I made sure is that I understood that I could be
• 43:55
  And then of course the Lord definitely send me a really awesome woman who shot
• 44:00
  to coach d you know, my beautiful wife that you know, she showed
• 44:05
  me God's love in a way that you know, just blew my mind.
• 44:07
  But that was also a level of responsibility that I had to like adhere to
• 44:14
  regardless because now this is my almost like cross to bear, you see what
• 44:17
  I'm saying. So I'm the husband and then I'm trying to like also at
• 44:23
  the same time ward myself of a of a new mindset. So I really
• 44:27
  dug deep into a lot of like mental things, Like I started reading a
• 44:34
  lot of books. I started really one book that I would definitely recommend you
• 44:38
  read is called The Power of the Subconscious Mind. That book really helped me
• 44:44
  sort of frame a different mindset of like different like setting myself up to see
• 44:47
  myself successful subconsciously put some sort of practices and affirmations into my daily routine that
• 44:57
  allowed me to do that. Then it was some natural things that I needed.
• 45:00
  So for me, it was a blend of a lot of natural sort
• 45:02
  of things that you know, because like I said, I'm for the generation
• 45:06
  pastor. My dad's a pastor. My grandmother who just passed last year,
• 45:09
  she was a pastor. Her grandmother, my great grandmother, her mother before
• 45:13
  her, was a pastor. So of course you know everything to do.
• 45:16
  So for me, it was like in creating a new mindset, it took
• 45:20
  a lot of just a lot of discipline. I think that where I wanted,
• 45:25
  I really wanted to see the effects of what it could possibly be.
• 45:30
  And I chase that, and I challenge you all to chase that. I
• 45:35
  think it's much easier to accept the process of understanding. You have to embrace
• 45:38
  a new mindset habit is when you chase the fact that you want to see
• 45:45
  what the best version of yourself can be, like when I want to see
• 45:49
  what the best clean version of myself could be. And here's what's awesome,
• 45:52
  Like every ounce of work that I did got me to where I'm sitting in
• 45:57
  my own podcast room having a conversation with you. Let's talk about it.
• 46:00
  Because we hadn't plugged that in y'all. Have y'all see that we're in a
• 46:05
  different space right now. And you heard what the Man of God just say,
• 46:09
  No, shameless plug, shameless plug, because we are in the link,
• 46:15
  the podcast room of the link is the link, but shout out the
• 46:21
  link Entrepreneurs Center in Birmingham, Alabama, and that this is a whole testament
• 46:24
  right here of a mindset. Because it went wrong quickly, bro what do
• 46:31
  you what do you mean? Quickly? Quickly, expeditiously? It went wrong
• 46:37
  so quick and so fast. But I would say this, I would say
• 46:42
  that we would not be sitting here if it didn't go that way. Now,
• 46:46
  mind you, that's how powerful your mind is. Let me tell y'all
• 46:51
  something. Let's go This is so powerful. Nobody can stop the vision you
• 46:57
  have in your mind. The only thing they can do is enhance it.
• 47:00
  Wow, I'm gonna say that again. No one can stop the like the
• 47:06
  vision you have in your mind. The only thing a person can do listen
• 47:12
  to this is enhance it. Why because you'll have somebody that came in to
• 47:17
  play either a part in your story, whether they were authentic or whether they
• 47:22
  weren't genuine. Either way they came into your story, it's still your story
• 47:28
  to determine how much of a part they play and where you're ending, you
• 47:34
  know what I'm saying. So Like, the mindset that I have now is
• 47:39
  like, man, it's amazing to see like things that like this is just
• 47:45
  a portion of the best version of myself. My oh my God. Like
• 47:50
  that's that's that's crazy to me. That's that's insane to me. And I
• 47:54
  think it comes from back to what it all stemmed from was that level of
• 48:00
  Like I said, last year, I smothered positivity on everything, and I
• 48:02
  found out that wasn't the answer. Like, no matter how much you shop,
• 48:06
  no matter how much you dance, no matter how much you believe God,
• 48:08
  like in this life, it will rain on the just and as well
• 48:14
  as the unjust. There are so many things I could not put into perspective
• 48:16
  of how to understand of like yo, I like, we're like, I'm
• 48:22
  living this way, I'm doing the right thing. I don't understand this.
• 48:24
  It just really made me understand that I wasn't being excuse me, I wasn't
• 48:30
  being honest with the level of hours feeling about my negative opinions. This is
• 48:37
  so good. I'm gonna be transparent because this is a safe space, all
• 48:42
  right. I just had the epiphany probably recently, and I'm still kind of
• 48:50
  like walking in it. Woh, I know this about to be really transparent.
• 48:52
  Where is the who cutting on? Is there's a ray? I can't
• 48:59
  wait? Get one of the little things? Yeah, oh yeah, you
• 49:02
  know, like just all like all of them. That's what was crazy about
• 49:08
  me when I started tearing up early. I told you, it was like,
• 49:12
  oh, what was you thinking? I was like, you deserve it?
• 49:15
  I was like, what what I didn't? I didn't I did deserve
• 49:21
  it. I like it was wold bro like that. But that was a
• 49:25
  moment, and God, won't the beautiful thing about this platform, I thank
• 49:30
  God for that. I'm realizing it was after Sherry Brown's interview that we have.
• 49:35
  She looked at me and she said, you are a safe space,
• 49:38
  and I respect I agree with that, Like I didn't think you're a genuine
• 49:45
  person man like the enemy place. I'm not. Let's just keep I mean
• 49:50
  this this wow, So you know, I struggled with it, but believing,
• 49:58
  but well not saying, I'm you know, back to what you were
• 50:01
  saying, like, Okay, what you've done can conflict with who you are
• 50:05
  or what you what you feel like you want tray portray the word portray.
• 50:09
  We we got a little deep understanding of the word portray. And it's like,
• 50:15
  you know, I thought, back to what I'm saying. I thought
• 50:17
  that I could praise my way out of which is an idea or whatever.
• 50:24
  Of course it's an act. But if i'm and then I stopped and I'm
• 50:30
  back in that, I'm back in the cycle, then what is it?
• 50:32
  So the practicality for me and I'm just like bro like this how we talk,
• 50:37
  but bro like we I can't think that I can just eat on this
• 50:46
  or feast on this word which is powerful within itself. But when I when
• 50:52
  I look at it like a a dictor, dictor shadorship, dictator tatorship,
• 50:59
  thank you Lord dictatorship. Right, a dictatorship book versus a life book,
• 51:08
  and then don't complement it with the ideas of God's creation through others. Right.
• 51:15
  Because of the practicality, sometimes we can be like, oh, it's
• 51:17
  not God, but know that is That's a part of it. What what
• 51:22
  I'm starting to believe and understand that, Yeah, this is my foundation,
• 51:27
  but there's something to grow from that, right, And so I tried to
• 51:30
  put too much into the spirituality of the ship bump up, like I like
• 51:36
  this. I heavily put myself in there like, well, they're doing it,
• 51:39
  and the other no God is God is saying Okay, yeah, they're
• 51:42
  doing it, but it's something else that they're not exposing you to. Oh
• 51:45
  my God, let me tell you what's so crazy about this? And I'll
• 51:47
  even say this and this will definitely help you. So recently I took this
• 51:53
  scripture took on a whole new meaning for me because of the level of practicality
• 51:58
  of me understanding what God really wants from us. Yeah, right, He's
• 52:02
  there's a scripture he said, those who worship me wasn't worship me in spirit?
• 52:07
  And in truth right. So the reason that you once worship him,
• 52:10
  I feel like he said in spirit is because he said, at first you
• 52:14
  have to first believe that there is a God. So to worship him is
• 52:17
  in your spirit. You can't see him, we can't feel him. I
• 52:21
  mean we can't. We don't. We can't touch him, but we can
• 52:22
  feel him, right, So that's a spiritual connection. But then he says,
• 52:27
  in truth, right, So we've always equated the truth, you know,
• 52:32
  which we do know that the truth ultimately is the word of God,
• 52:36
  which he also said in his word that I created evil for the day of
• 52:39
  destruction, which means that that our thoughts are not his thoughts and they are
• 52:46
  far past finding out. So that means that God literally said those who worship
• 52:52
  me was worshiped me in spirit, believed I am who I am first,
• 52:55
  and in truth, where the truth is accepting that we will never ever truly
• 53:04
  be fully worthy enough to be whoever God called us to be, and that
• 53:09
  that reality right keeps us at a certain level of truth. Excuse me,
• 53:17
  bless you, sorry, gives us a certain level of truth that when we
• 53:22
  worship him there's a certain level of humility and brokenness that will always stay at
• 53:28
  because the truth of the matter is, Lord, I know I'm not that
• 53:30
  good of a person. Lord, the truth of it is, I need
• 53:35
  you to have Like do you think that my prayers? And I heard Apostle
• 53:40
  evincit Poldo he told me this and it was so powerful. He's like the
• 53:44
  prayer by He's like a prayer mentor like I loved, and he said that
• 53:49
  he was preaching one time he said, do you think that the prayers I
• 53:52
  pray for myself are the same prayers you hear publicly? He said, prayers
• 53:55
  for myself will start off he said, Lord, please have mercy. And
• 54:00
  the way he said have mercy on me, it's like it unlocked a reality
• 54:04
  for me. And it's like the truth of who we are and what we've
• 54:08
  done. Even after we've tried to be bloodshed, there's still a stain that
• 54:14
  sometimes imprints on the soul. So the only way for us to worship God
• 54:20
  for real and truly believe and have that mindset to move forward, you could
• 54:24
  do something like this a just ass podcast to someone who you weren't weren't yourself
• 54:30
  who you are now four five, six, seven, eight years ago is
• 54:34
  because there's a certain level of truth that where the enemy is trying to lie
• 54:39
  to you that it's a weakness right about how genuine you are is the same
• 54:45
  level of where it's your strength, because he said in Jessica's weakness, I'll
• 54:51
  make my strength, make it perfect. So this is a perfect safe place
• 54:58
  because you are week in the area of where you believe that maybe I'm not
• 55:02
  as genuine as you are, and no matter how real that is in your
• 55:06
  perception of whatever the enemy tries to make you portray like, you have to
• 55:09
  live up to your truth keeps you in a level to where you'll always be
• 55:15
  broken before God. So that way you can live unapologetically and be genuinely who
• 55:21
  you are and embrace it with your tears and laugh at the tears that are
• 55:25
  coming out, because that's the beauty of life, the positive of laughing and
• 55:30
  the negative of the tears still roll. You know what I'm saying, Like,
• 55:35
  that's the beauty of life. Man, It's the truth, you know.
• 55:39
  And I feel like the more we can try to sort of create that
• 55:43
  for ourselves or accept that is when we really start to make impacts in people's
• 55:50
  lives that you know, now, I try to make impacts in people's lives
• 55:54
  in the most genuine way, because I'm not trying to portray anything like who
• 55:59
  you see is who you who you're gonna get, because I'm going to be
• 56:04
  who I am with the level of perception of whatever is needed to be at
• 56:08
  the level of where I'm going. So I can put on this and walk
• 56:12
  in and hey, how are you nice to meet you? Yes, I'm
• 56:15
  mister Pombi. Or I can be like, what up, fool man?
• 56:16
  You know how, Hey, we ain't going down and no bro now today
• 56:21
  right? Or I can be like, hey, what's up, bro,
• 56:22
  Like it's all good. Or I can go to another father in the name
• 56:25
  of we come before you because all of those differences, ay, that's all
• 56:30
  of me, and the enemy will make you think of this, right,
• 56:34
  jack of all trades and the master of none. Right, but a jack
• 56:37
  of all trades is better than the master of one. That's the other part
• 56:40
  of the scripture. So the enemy sometimes will make you feel like because you
• 56:45
  have different gifts and abilities, like I have so many different things that I
• 56:49
  can do, but none of that is defined by like when I try to
• 56:54
  show up and say who is JD. FOMBI, I don't have to go
• 56:59
  down my accolade because who I am will just shine because I've accepted the negative
• 57:04
  parts of me in my private Lord have mercy on me and the same way
• 57:08
  I can embrace that. And then Lord, I'm weak right now, you
• 57:13
  know I do. And it was a hard sometimes reality for us to understand
• 57:16
  that there was a level of practicality sometimes in the church and in natural that
• 57:22
  we needed because it was okay. We just found out the last over fifteen
• 57:25
  twenty years. It's enlightenment that came with mental awareness was like, it's okay
• 57:30
  to not be okay. So we sought that level of seeking out and now
• 57:35
  leaders and different things, we're seeing that it's okay for you to be a
• 57:37
  leader and need that refreshing. So the level of duality on both parts makes
• 57:44
  you more effective the moment you can more accept, like accept more of I
• 57:50
  need to set up parameters around my weakness. You set up a podcast around
• 57:53
  what most people, what you may consider is your weakness, but it's growing
• 57:58
  at a rate where people are getting to know you at a whole different level
• 58:01
  because you put a parameter of a safe place to make sure that wherever you
• 58:06
  may feel, am I being too? Like you can be on your own
• 58:08
  platform to where now it's felt and it's genuine, to where it can bless
• 58:13
  in the right atmosphere that the genuineness or the way you may think it's not
• 58:16
  authentic comes out somewhere more like insecure wise like oh no, I'm not gonna
• 58:20
  feeling scared of that, all of that, I'm not I know who I
• 58:22
  am because all of that is that's what my podcast I pour out right there.
• 58:27
  So you and unintentionally set up a parameter around your weakness. And that's
• 58:30
  very similar to what you have to do with your mindset. That's you know
• 58:36
  that does I don't like I know this is gonna happen. I just like
• 58:45
  I set up. I set myself up. I always set myself up for
• 58:49
  what for these? For these? What's this? This? This? What's
• 58:57
  that? Burnham all day? What's a little best believe? Bro we out
• 59:00
  here, we're out here, that's a that's a new imagine. If we'd
• 59:07
  grew up like that, though, that'll have been different, like if Ruben
• 59:10
  would have been out here. Hey man, have won questions that need answers.
• 59:20
  Answers, but this meaning we're powerful people, and like I said,
• 59:25
  we create a safe space for influencers to decompress, have fun and just ask.
• 59:32
  And you're definitely an influencer personally for me, but just where God is
• 59:42
  already taking you and exposing you to it's like for one for you to grace
• 59:46
  your presence. I don't take these likely like I'm not being and being genuine.
• 59:58
  Not I am genuine, but no, for real, like because the
• 1:00:06
  mindset thing right, you belittle yourself so much, but I have belittled myself
• 1:00:09
  so much to the point where, like I bring Sharry's name up share was
• 1:00:14
  like, girl, I literally screamed when she came. Well, for one,
• 1:00:16
  when she said yes, I screamed no. I literally like I was.
• 1:00:22
  We have it on video to show you, like it was like I
• 1:00:27
  was so like honored because I'm a big fan of hers. For one,
• 1:00:32
  and two, like I didn't think that. I don't think people of her
• 1:00:37
  caliber would tell me yes. And so it's like it's like you know how
• 1:00:40
  people be like except except that level, because like, well, where you
• 1:00:45
  going, Like one thing, you gotta you gotta see yourself there first,
• 1:00:50
  Yeah, you gotta do that. Yeah do it quick man, because guess
• 1:00:52
  what the ones that are on that level like they I've realized that, like
• 1:00:55
  of course, you know my my levels in circles have changed immensely. They
• 1:01:00
  smell it on you, right. What's crazy is if you don't know it,
• 1:01:05
  they know that you don't know it, and if you do know it,
• 1:01:07
  they know that you know it too. So you have to like it's
• 1:01:09
  a level of confidence that it easily is. It's easily recognizable on the level
• 1:01:15
  of where you're going. So, for example, it was someone that I
• 1:01:17
  met around, you know, one of the circles I was in, and
• 1:01:22
  they asked it was like, where'd you come from? And I was like,
• 1:01:23
  well, you know from because already give them my story. And before
• 1:01:25
  I could finish, they said nothing. It was like, no, you
• 1:01:29
  just always seemed like you were supposed to be here. I was like,
• 1:01:32
  okay, I said, I appreciate that, but I didn't say anything.
• 1:01:37
  I didn't really do anything different. It was just more I was how you
• 1:01:40
  were perceived, having everything to do with how you're received. Yeah, so
• 1:01:44
  I knew enough of where I was not to say too much, do too
• 1:01:46
  much. I was very respectable blah blah blah. And when you get around
• 1:01:51
  people of that, they can recognize someone who carries themselves with a certain amount
• 1:01:53
  of couth or a certain amount of certain refinement that allows them to be like,
• 1:01:59
  Okay, they they've either been here before, they were always supposed to
• 1:02:01
  be here. And I said, all that to say to you is that
• 1:02:06
  you got to get to a point to where that level of you know,
• 1:02:08
  it doesn't come off arrogantly, but it comes off like, hey, at
• 1:02:12
  the same time, you know, I'm not better than anyone, no one
• 1:02:15
  it's better than me. I still struggle with that one too. It's very
• 1:02:19
  hard to sometimes you know, I'm not better than anyone, but the other
• 1:02:21
  part, and no one is better than me. That's where you start to
• 1:02:24
  really believe that level of who you're seeing is when you really start to embrace
• 1:02:29
  the second part of it. No one is better than me. And that's
• 1:02:31
  because we're all equal, We're all, you know, God's children. It's
• 1:02:34
  it's a different level of honestly, discipline that's so good. It sounds like
• 1:02:39
  what you're saying is discipline is the highlighter man like. It makes that your
• 1:02:45
  DNA recognizable, It really does, and it's so recognized. You know,
• 1:02:51
  the greatest one of the greatest teachers of that taught me. My wife,
• 1:02:57
  Oh, my god, bro, she does not miss anything. And I
• 1:03:04
  see now that the reason one of the reasons God put me with her is
• 1:03:07
  because the levels of how I dream take a certain level of refinement and discipline
• 1:03:14
  that a lot of times I would seek out favor to avoid the discipline.
• 1:03:19
  Right. So that's a whole other level conversation when you know, sometimes you
• 1:03:23
  know you see God favor because you're trying to skip steps. You know,
• 1:03:28
  some some steps you can't skip. Some steps are just discipline. And it's
• 1:03:31
  not nobody blocking your favor. Boss were mad at you. There wasn't blocking
• 1:03:35
  your ministry, no monitoring spirit. It was it was a process. It
• 1:03:38
  was straight discipline. So one of the greatest lovels of that is my wife.
• 1:03:44
  I love her, but no, you really know, you real deal
• 1:03:49
  love her like y'all love each other like I'll be y'all listen. I have
• 1:03:57
  never met another human that I like as a person so much that I know
• 1:04:00
  I like because they get under my skin so much. Like I have a
• 1:04:03
  very I don't lase fair type attitude. I don't I don't care, bro.
• 1:04:09
  Case Sarah, Sarah, what will be, will be Okay, Like
• 1:04:13
  that's how I have lived, and it's I have so many memories and stories
• 1:04:16
  of like crazy experiences that worked very well for me. Yeah, the levels
• 1:04:23
  of how I dream, God put me with somebody, Bro, don't care
• 1:04:25
  nothing about none of that. Don't care about my dream, don't care about
• 1:04:30
  my goals, don't care about none of that. But seriously, she she's
• 1:04:34
  just a stickler for the discipline and the structure that like, it just opens
• 1:04:40
  your level to you, open your mindsel to a new level. So that
• 1:04:43
  incorporated with what I already knew. That's what that is, bro, That
• 1:04:47
  is exactly how it came off. So imagine you get married, right and
• 1:04:53
  less than like eight nine months later, your book goes not more on Amazon.
• 1:04:57
  Right. Uh hey, this is a moment stick that in church,
• 1:05:01
  A twenty one day devotion for people who love God and hate religion. Jeremi
• 1:05:05
  day. Fum me all right, go get that on Amazon right now,
• 1:05:08
  fou All right, Yeah, I'm gonna press that boom, drop the thing
• 1:05:12
  boom, all right, swipe it. It's gone, all right, So
• 1:05:15
  we're gonna do that. Make sure y'all edit it in. That's gonna be
• 1:05:17
  fire I want to see that, Like, I don't know how y'all do
• 1:05:20
  it. Y'all be doing it'd be so dope. I want to see that.
• 1:05:23
  Right, it's got to bro it's gonna go that way. But that
• 1:05:29
  is crazy, and she it was so crazy. She like I had this
• 1:05:31
  great idea. I was like, man, I write it, but she's
• 1:05:33
  like, you should. I started writing writing it, and I kept like
• 1:05:36
  going back and forth, and then I knew I was like funny story house
• 1:05:41
  writing the book. I knew I was like cut myself short because I just
• 1:05:43
  didn't really feel like finishing. I was like, oh, I'm gonna use
• 1:05:45
  I don't want to put an outline. It's gonna be like real life situations,
• 1:05:49
  which that is how I wrote the book. It was one of us
• 1:05:51
  in real life. But I was kind of just being like a days ago
• 1:05:54
  procrastinate, right. She was like, give me a date. I was
• 1:05:58
  like, what you mean. She's like, give me a date and by
• 1:06:00
  that day you'll finish it. I remember writing like the last two chapters,
• 1:06:01
  like at eleven thirty eight, like PM, because I needed to finish it
• 1:06:06
  by a certain date because I had told her. And the crazy thing was
• 1:06:10
  just I talking about discipline. Her and I was mad at each other at
• 1:06:12
  the time I finished the book, so I didn't even want to finish because
• 1:06:15
  I was like, I ain't gonna finish. But it was like, bruh,
• 1:06:17
  discipline, you said you were gonna have going by the date. What
• 1:06:20
  would she do? It didn't matter. She was mad at nobody. She
• 1:06:24
  gonna finish what she said she was gonna do. Don't chick it out now,
• 1:06:26
  bro finish the book, right. So it was just a level I
• 1:06:30
  feel like of discipline that she operated at that we kind of balanced each other
• 1:06:35
  out because there was certain times that you know, who I am is a
• 1:06:39
  person, I'm a very God has blessed me with a unique ability to enhance
• 1:06:44
  a moment, to make it a very memorable moment, and it's just,
• 1:06:50
  you know, it's just the way I view life, and I think he
• 1:06:53
  put me in her life to balance it out. So it was like almost
• 1:06:56
  a balance because she so sometimes we balance each other out and it's a beautiful
• 1:07:00
  thing. No, but yeah, I would say that one of the greatest
• 1:07:03
  joys I have is, you know, man is my wife, like being
• 1:07:09
  being her husband particularly specifically, and you know, learning as much as I've
• 1:07:15
  learned from her over the years, just you know, about how she thinks
• 1:07:18
  and different things. Like when I came in, Bro, i was guns
• 1:07:20
  blazing, and I was like, Bro, you are the most Bro.
• 1:07:23
  You are not a nice person. Bro, you are mean? You are
• 1:07:27
  what are you doing? You are? That was rude? You are ooh
• 1:07:30
  ooh you just right now. It's a beautiful, my beautiful wife. But
• 1:07:38
  know what I found out was that it was just so much that I didn't
• 1:07:42
  understand, like as far as like the way she structures her life in discipline
• 1:07:46
  to someone else like me who's a free spirit. See, that's what happens
• 1:07:50
  a lot of times. It don't even be like God messing up your your
• 1:07:54
  dreams. Don't be it be a lack of it. Be your free spirit
• 1:07:57
  and how you just appreciate ever you just want to chase this, You want
• 1:08:00
  to experience. They want to do that, Bro, goals don't care nothing
• 1:08:03
  about that. And the way it's certain levels in life. And you know,
• 1:08:06
  it's just a level of consistency and application that I had exercising different things
• 1:08:15
  that kind of really helped me achieve a lot of stuff with with her,
• 1:08:23
  just kind of being that balance of of of both. So, yeah,
• 1:08:26
  discipline is definitely the key to the mindset. So it was, and it
• 1:08:30
  proves your point of the environment and the people. Bro. That's that's because
• 1:08:35
  y'all been married now to Yeah, just cleated two years last month, going
• 1:08:41
  on year three. Right here, shout out some real funny as you're sitting
• 1:08:46
  here talking about discipline and how she operates in such a level of excellence.
• 1:08:50
  We're in this room right here, right, So had set up and I
• 1:08:54
  was like, oh, I may see if this little plant, because keep
• 1:08:57
  in mind, she ain't she ain't she just in and out right, and
• 1:09:00
  we talked about me in a free spirit. I was like, oh,
• 1:09:00
  you know, I put a little plan in here. You got a little
• 1:09:02
  plant behind us, like, but then I was like maybe not. So
• 1:09:06
  the plant was doing the gangsto lin to the side, okay, but it
• 1:09:11
  was not in the shot. So she says, the plant linking to the
• 1:09:15
  side. I said, it's fine an the shot. So what does she
• 1:09:18
  does? She go and fixed the plant and now it's standing up right,
• 1:09:21
  and she ain't even in here, and the plant ain't even in the shot.
• 1:09:26
  Man Like, when you're around her, like you you have to come
• 1:09:31
  up like there's there's there's no wrinkle that is going on unnoticed. There is
• 1:09:39
  no dust that will listen, she sees everything God had to put me on.
• 1:09:44
  Somebody like that. Listen, I need somebody to see everything. Listen.
• 1:09:46
  People like people I'll get around, get around people like that. Don't
• 1:09:53
  see them like you don't see that. We gotta fix that because like when
• 1:09:56
  you're around the type of person that demands that level of X, it does
• 1:10:00
  your it does your life good. It does your life good. It does
• 1:10:03
  your life. It don't. It don't do like your mediocrity good. It
• 1:10:08
  don't because it makes you like you cannot the environment. You have to when
• 1:10:12
  you're in certain environments, you're either going to come up to the environment facts
• 1:10:15
  or it's gonna repel you. So so this is like that's the one of
• 1:10:18
  the greatest things I think we all could learn from in twenty twenty four,
• 1:10:23
  Like just decide what environment you're coming up to and which one has to come
• 1:10:27
  up to you. There is no you going down, like, there's no
• 1:10:30
  level of me going down. It's good and the like in the level of
• 1:10:33
  an environment, right, because you just said it is it's the environment.
• 1:10:38
  It's some places you go, you have to come up to. So what
• 1:10:41
  happens we go to a place to where in our mindset we go to a
• 1:10:44
  certain level mentally what to get a certain goal accomplished or something achieved. We
• 1:10:50
  take ourselves there mentally, For girl, I'm gonna stop drinking for a minute.
• 1:10:54
  Hey bro, I'm gonna cut all this off for a second. Bro,
• 1:10:56
  I gotta really get you. And we'll do that. And we'll do
• 1:10:58
  that, but we'll keep them around. Why so that any point in time
• 1:11:00
  you want to change the level of responsibility that's required to maintain that level of
• 1:11:03
  where you had to fight to earn to get, you can always jump back
• 1:11:09
  down and you keep your homies or your partners or the same people on that
• 1:11:11
  level. And you kind of you're able to go to either one. So
• 1:11:15
  you can hop on the elevator and go up, hop elevator, come down.
• 1:11:16
  So what I'm suggesting is you start a hike, right. So here's
• 1:11:21
  the difference of elevators on a hike. Right, on a hike, it
• 1:11:25
  takes all your energy to get up to that next level. It takes a
• 1:11:29
  lot of the same amount of energy to get back down. So you're gonna
• 1:11:31
  think twice about going back down versus if you just want on an elevator.
• 1:11:34
  So I try to like, I'm gonna hike my mindset to whatever level I'm
• 1:11:38
  going to in twenty twenty four, I'm not going back down. There's only
• 1:11:42
  the those that come up to the one I'm going to that we meet there.
• 1:11:45
  So that way, I'm always going to go here because you have to
• 1:11:48
  develop a new mindset and stay on a new level. So in order to
• 1:11:51
  stay Bible says, I'll take it from faith to faith, from glory to
• 1:11:55
  glory. Yeah, And you know, for me, it's a level of
• 1:12:00
  certain things are situations I don't entertain anymore because there's a level I can't go
• 1:12:05
  back to that kills the energy to hike all the way back down there to
• 1:12:10
  talk about that when I need to be applying so much energy. You only
• 1:12:13
  have a certain amount of energy to get you know, That's why people get
• 1:12:15
  tired at different levels of you know, working out or whatever you have a
• 1:12:18
  Everyone has a certain amount of energy, and we try to compare our level
• 1:12:21
  of mentality based off someone else's level of endurance mentally, Yeah, and they
• 1:12:27
  practiced that, So we have to condition our mindset like I only go to
• 1:12:30
  every level. There's no level of going back and forth. I would just
• 1:12:32
  keep going here and what happens you meet meaning for relationships and friendships on the
• 1:12:38
  new levels that either y'all both are going this way and you don't disregard the
• 1:12:42
  ones you came from, but there's a level of growth and like you have
• 1:12:45
  to give yourself over to in order to really commit to being on the Just
• 1:12:50
  Ask podcast? Right, So, right, so we're gonna put that.
• 1:12:56
  We're gonna put that in the what you call it the intro that just so
• 1:13:00
  I do I do have a question? So mindset and the relationship with emotional
• 1:13:11
  intelligence? Mm hmm what what is that? And if people don't really understand
• 1:13:16
  what I'm saying is and I'm not saying it's necessarily separate, but how do
• 1:13:19
  they work? Because I can say, oh, my mind is here,
• 1:13:23
  but my emotions are all all over the place, and so like, how
• 1:13:27
  does what is that relationship? And what how do you get from Okay,
• 1:13:30
  I got a healthy mindset and now I need to be healthy emotionally because emotional
• 1:13:34
  emotions will kill, right, And I mean it goes to show when you
• 1:13:41
  have so many people unravel at the top. Why do people unravel at the
• 1:13:45
  top. We all trying to get to the top. Why you wait till
• 1:13:47
  the top and then you unravel because emotionally you are unhealthy, right because of
• 1:13:53
  whatever you had to for sake and you had to forget. So the way
• 1:13:58
  I look at it, I'll be honest, I haven't figured out the true
• 1:14:01
  level of synergy they work in yet, But what I have figured out is
• 1:14:05
  this, when it comes to a level of emotional intelligence, intelligence is knowing
• 1:14:15
  what you need to know about a thing. You're intelligent about a fact,
• 1:14:20
  But emotional application is a totally different thing, right, So emotional intelligence is
• 1:14:27
  something that's great, But emotional application emotional emotional systems, emotional processes, emotional
• 1:14:35
  procedures. So systems, processes, and procedures are more important when it comes
• 1:14:42
  to emotions than the intelligence of it. So that's what I feel like.
• 1:14:47
  The summation of emotional intelligence is it's a system, a process, or a
• 1:14:53
  procedure that you have set for your emotion in order that it doesn't disrupt or
• 1:15:00
  sort of short you out battery wise positive negative at the wrong time. So
• 1:15:03
  a healthy mindset knows and understands where to regulate that emotion and the process and
• 1:15:12
  the system they have set up for it, and how to proceed to do
• 1:15:15
  that. And that's the level of them working in synergy to help you navigate
• 1:15:23
  so that you don't unravel at the top and then you don't give up at
• 1:15:26
  the bottom. You know, So in order to do that part of it,
• 1:15:31
  the way I look at it is looking for a system that comes with
• 1:15:39
  your emotional intelligence. So I know that I have a me for I know
• 1:15:45
  I have an affinity to press stuff down so much so until that it doesn't
• 1:15:50
  affect me. It doesn't matter that it'll be a moment that I'll lash out
• 1:15:56
  at somebody or something, or maybe my wife may just be me at a
• 1:16:00
  moment where I'm just upset angry and I don't understand it is because I've pressed
• 1:16:04
  down so much what I felt like my emotional intelligence. This isn't the time
• 1:16:10
  for that emotional intelligence. Disregard that you got this, man, I don't
• 1:16:13
  even worry about that. That was small compared to what you got to do
• 1:16:15
  emotional intelligence. But if you keep disregarding without appropriating them in the proper system
• 1:16:21
  or the proper procedure or the process, it just ends up being trashed.
• 1:16:26
  It just sits and over over over fields, and no matter what happens,
• 1:16:30
  it stinks up your thinking. That goes back to your healthy mindset. So
• 1:16:35
  the process and how do you get these emotional levels of anger, bitterness,
• 1:16:41
  happiness, joy, peace, sadness, you know the spirit like expect to
• 1:16:45
  see depression, whatever. That emotion is the craziest thing. You're letting something
• 1:16:49
  that you can't see run your whole life. So there has to be a
• 1:16:53
  process for it. So for me, I realized that being more accepting to
• 1:16:58
  the fact like, hey, today I really I really didn't. I ain't
• 1:17:01
  have it today and today kind of kind of sucked really bad, and that's
• 1:17:05
  okay too. But today straight trash didn't hit a goal. Bro, your
• 1:17:12
  trash. That's now. I'm not telling you do that if you're in a
• 1:17:15
  dangerous spot. Don't talk down to yourself. I'm very sarcastic. So for
• 1:17:18
  me, that for me kind of checks me to a reality of like,
• 1:17:23
  bro, hey, what we're gonna do. Yes, today wasn't it And
• 1:17:28
  it had nothing to do with Jesus. It was you, bro, It
• 1:17:32
  wasn't Jesus fault. Like, I'm not even finna go to pray. I'm
• 1:17:36
  not finna, I'm not gonna pick up my bible. Wow, because that
• 1:17:41
  was one percent you Press news bro, you said you were gonna do this.
• 1:17:45
  That is one on you. Look, y'all, Jesus did what he
• 1:17:49
  gonna do. You're not coming back to do what he not coming back to
• 1:17:54
  die again. We put so much responsibility on Jesus. We'll go back to
• 1:17:57
  that. That that practicality that you have to admit to. So the level
• 1:18:00
  of how that works to answer your question in a very long form, this
• 1:18:05
  is not long. It is good, okay, Well okay, Well the
• 1:18:09
  form is, you know, there's the emotional intelligence comes with a system of
• 1:18:14
  process or procedure that you have for your emotions that can help you regulate to
• 1:18:18
  keep a healthy mindset. So and that healthy mindset grows at the capacity of
• 1:18:24
  where you're going in your life. So a healthy mindset looks like there's a
• 1:18:28
  space for growth, there's a space for acceptance, and there's a space for
• 1:18:31
  like peace. So I have peace about what has happened in my past.
• 1:18:36
  I accept what is and I'm growing to what will be. That's so good,
• 1:18:41
  right, So peace, acceptance, growth, and a healthy mindset has
• 1:18:46
  a compartment for all the different emotions that come with each one of those compartments.
• 1:18:51
  So the emotional intelligence, there's joy in the levels of how you laughed
• 1:18:57
  at something or a friendship in the past, but you have to make peace
• 1:19:00
  with it. So there's joy that you feel there. There's joy and the
• 1:19:02
  acceptance of knowing that that friendship will never be the same. But there's growth
• 1:19:05
  in expecting that God can replace you know that feeling, or God can send
• 1:19:11
  you know that person around again and affull sir, you just never know how
• 1:19:14
  life goes. Yeah, So that's the representation of emotional intelligence praised in a
• 1:19:18
  system and a process and a procedure to have peace, acceptance and growth in
• 1:19:24
  your healthy mindset and moving forward. That's so good. What I just took
• 1:19:27
  from what you just said was have a plan for it. Got to have
• 1:19:30
  a plan for it. Greg has to say, and I'm not going to
• 1:19:34
  try to say it is my homework and he's my manager at work, but
• 1:19:40
  he's this poor poor planning produces poor performance. And so I think that we
• 1:19:48
  plan for things like you know, events are building right businesses, but we
• 1:19:57
  don't plan for ourselves. And that's something I'm twenty twenty four. I have
• 1:20:01
  committed myself to focus on that and being sober minded in that. It's like,
• 1:20:08
  what is my plan for when I do X, Y and Z.
• 1:20:11
  Thank God for DESIRET now, Oh my god, She's a part of a
• 1:20:14
  lot of my plans. Like I need a person like that, Bro,
• 1:20:18
  I need a desiree. Bro. Desires are dope because I didn't know I
• 1:20:24
  did. I didn't want a desiree, nor did I know I needed a
• 1:20:27
  desiree. Yeah, like I tried to avoid desiree. You did. Oh
• 1:20:32
  wow, No, she's telling me I didn't know. High five. Yeah,
• 1:20:45
  and it was. It was really to the point where we talk about
• 1:20:51
  safe spaces. I think safe spaces are so important. Safe spaces also help
• 1:20:57
  you develop. Oh yeah, the safe spaces look like cocoons, you know,
• 1:21:01
  come they help you, They help you metamorph into the beautiful, the
• 1:21:05
  beautiful butterfly. We're all trying to go out there with our own imprint,
• 1:21:10
  right yeah. So yeah, but the crazy thing is, you know,
• 1:21:15
  be be careful where you set your cocoon, because you know your tree could
• 1:21:18
  be hanging over this. And it's nobody really cares about safe space is getting
• 1:21:24
  hit by, So be very careful where you set your cocoon in your save
• 1:21:29
  space. Listen, that's what minds in a building at the link you get,
• 1:21:32
  you get, yeah, but not to come up with a theme song
• 1:21:38
  for the link. We do also detail me come with the things song for
• 1:21:41
  someone else to hat. He's a singer, writer, musician, musician like
• 1:21:47
  y'all. Okay, so shameless plug. So they have a prayer and prophetic
• 1:21:56
  flow flow on every Thursday, nine third Standard and so prior to you and
• 1:22:08
  Coach being married, she was already doing that, right. But when you
• 1:22:13
  came land, I hope that my nose don't sound like listen, blame Blane,
• 1:22:26
  blame Blaine. I'm gonna tell it now. I'm not praying to that
• 1:22:30
  like somebody. It's so heavy, like like I do enjoy that. I
• 1:22:35
  do. I really enjoy us praying together. So this year we got some
• 1:22:39
  really awesome, you know, awesome ideas. Come with that. Man,
• 1:22:42
  We're gonna do some different things that may involved her and I on a you
• 1:22:48
  know a couple of tracks and stuff that you know we're going to do.
• 1:22:50
  I am, I'm ready for it. That'd be awesome because we know one
• 1:22:55
  thing. But so we went somewhere. Funny funny sho. We went somewhere
• 1:22:59
  and she had to speak somewhere and she introduced herself and they asked her who
• 1:23:02
  she was, and she was like, hello, I'm d you know,
• 1:23:04
  I'm Defumby and dude saying there was an older dude. He was like,
• 1:23:09
  what else you do? And she was like, oh, you know you
• 1:23:12
  said you appreciating and she said, well, how did you know? Said
• 1:23:15
  I can hear then you boys? So you know how coach has that voice?
• 1:23:20
  Yeah, so you know it would be good to get that on a
• 1:23:24
  you know, a CD or something when through press play and let her come
• 1:23:28
  in with that left strong hand everything when she grabbed when she goes like this,
• 1:23:32
  y'all, when she goes like this, that's when she when she go
• 1:23:36
  like this is this? Okay? She what she got? Killing the floor
• 1:23:44
  and not killing tool till you get your words together. That's y'all can't see
• 1:23:50
  a right braces. So did y'all get these together? It's it's like a
• 1:23:54
  playing system. Y'all got them together. She just got hers. That's awesome.
• 1:24:00
  So Small Direct Club went out a business I was Small Direct and they
• 1:24:04
  sent out a letter that was like, Hey, thank y'all for what y'all
• 1:24:08
  did. If y'all ordered them, we ain't sending them. And if you're
• 1:24:11
  making payments, go ahead and go and keep sending up and keep paying.
• 1:24:14
  But the customer service line, yeah, we're done with that. Good luck.
• 1:24:17
  So I'm currently in the in the marketing to try to say I'm straight
• 1:24:20
  my tea. I gotta find I want to get something like inline or some
• 1:24:24
  I just I don't want to get bracest. I feel like braces is a
• 1:24:27
  lot going on, but in buzel line is still going to be the same.
• 1:24:30
  Yeah, my pastor shout out to the gardeners. Hey shout out to
• 1:24:34
  the gardeners. But my pastor has I think in buzy line and I just
• 1:24:39
  want to I don't want over there. So you know your wife, yes
• 1:24:44
  she did, come on, she's not gonna come. You don't want to.
• 1:24:54
  Can I hear your voice? You want to be on camera? Can
• 1:24:57
  we get the oil why she said? This ain't her episode. That's what
• 1:25:00
  it is. She's trying to make her introduction. That's what I'm gonna let
• 1:25:03
  you know. I'm walking in hers. Okay, I'm walking with it.
• 1:25:09
  Hold on, wait, a minute. The way she's looking, well,
• 1:25:12
  did I say something tonight? Can we replay this because she looking like I
• 1:25:15
  said something? She's looking look at her. You know she here everything right?
• 1:25:17
  But I was talking to her about we're talking about talking about it was
• 1:25:23
  all great, coach was he did a good job? Is it not?
• 1:25:27
  Bro? She got this first lady smile, she got this first latest smile.
• 1:25:32
  No, I'm not a pastor, so not there is no church.
• 1:25:35
  I'm saying, yeah, yeah, let me Bro, you're not, but
• 1:25:45
  you're very pastoral. No I don't. I'm not really not really. I
• 1:25:49
  think you care. You care about the heart. I can't care about her,
• 1:25:54
  and you can you share it with the people in a different way.
• 1:25:56
  That's it's there, you go and I'll take that in a very what yeah
• 1:26:01
  church shout out to the un church twenty one day devotions on people who love
• 1:26:05
  God and hate religion. We got plenty, plenty of pub But I want
• 1:26:12
  to I want to thank you again for this is good. I want to
• 1:26:16
  want to see this. Watch it. Yeah, you watch it. It's
• 1:26:25
  my first one, you know, and thank you. So you're gonna be
• 1:26:28
  doing more. We're gonna be seeing more of you. I really know that
• 1:26:30
  we're gonna be seeing more of you, like I appreciate it. It's so
• 1:26:33
  many gifts that you do have. But when people get to talk to you
• 1:26:38
  like it's just you and your brain. Like my personal private conversation with Coach,
• 1:26:43
  She's like, man, you gotta get Coach j d On. I
• 1:26:45
  was like, man, you and I are already on there, and I
• 1:26:47
  had I'm glad we got you now because the mind, it has to start
• 1:26:53
  in the beginning, like it has to, and people miss it because they
• 1:26:57
  want everything. But the mind don't make the math and mathing. You ain't
• 1:27:00
  mind, Your mind ain't coming up. And so I want you. I
• 1:27:05
  want to give you the space to land the plane. If there's one thing
• 1:27:10
  that you want to lead the people with, what will it be? From
• 1:27:13
  this conversation, Man, there's a statement that I recently heard that kind of
• 1:27:24
  really inspired me to keep going after the man that I see for myself and
• 1:27:32
  many of you see a person for yourself that you're believing in, that you're
• 1:27:36
  you're working towards, and that comes with a different mindset and a different discipline,
• 1:27:42
  a different level of application that you haven't really probably applied yourself in that
• 1:27:48
  way before. So I'll say this statement that really changed my life, and
• 1:27:55
  I think it was by doctor Miles Moreau. He was like, there is
• 1:27:58
  no level of life where you run out of wisdom when you commit to just
• 1:28:02
  keep seeking. And wherever you are, everything in your life that you sought
• 1:28:10
  out to become who you're wanting to become has led you to this moment,
• 1:28:13
  to this podcast, to this enlightenment that you're having at this moment. And
• 1:28:17
  it's all because there's a seeking that you have founded this moment that is needed
• 1:28:23
  and is necessary for where you're going in your life. So take this moment
• 1:28:27
  and keep compounding and know that that level of seeking, it's the level of
• 1:28:31
  what life is. And don't get I'll I'll remind you with another quote that
• 1:28:35
  my wife always said. She was like, she never gets too high with
• 1:28:41
  the highs and she never gets too low with the lows. So she's low,
• 1:28:45
  she's not taken out because she was just so high. When she's high,
• 1:28:46
  she's not taken out because she was so low. So with that being
• 1:28:50
  said, wherever you are right now, know that if you commit yourself to
• 1:28:55
  the learning of the wisdom of the growth, that's needed for you to be
• 1:28:59
  that person. You're gonna get to exactly every one of your dreams that you're
• 1:29:03
  dreaming right now. And remember, nobody can change your vision. Nobody can
• 1:29:08
  take it away from you. They can only enhance it. That's it.
• 1:29:12
  I love it. Great words from my coach jd B. Thank you so
• 1:29:16
  much for your presence. Hey you guys, remember we're here every week,
• 1:29:20
  every Thursday, for your eyes, for your ears. Thank you so much
• 1:29:24
  for joining the community. Thank you for hearing that subscribe button. But until
• 1:29:28
  next time, remember life could be much more simple if you just ask.
• 1:29:32
  See you next week. Hey, y'all, thank you for listening to just
• 1:29:40
  ask. If you enjoyed this experience, be sure to like coming and rate
• 1:29:45
  so others can find the show. If you'd like to stay connected with me,
• 1:29:49
  feel free to follow me at the Jessica and Smith on all platforms.
• 1:29:54
  Again, I'm your girl, jess Until next time,