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The Next Step Changes Everything: Winning the Silent War of Direction with Christine Belviy Keller · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_02: Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by a big goal that it didn't you didn't know where to start?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_02: For many veterans, leaders, women, and high performers, the pressure to figure out the whole path can become the very thing that keeps us stuck.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_02: We overthink, we question ourselves, we wait for certainty, and sometimes we never take the first step.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: Today's conversation is about direction, it ate the silent war, and my moving forward often begins by focusing on the next step, not the entire journey.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: The podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_01: Michael is a dual elite certified neuroencoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations, dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles, procrastination, self-doubt, fear, and more.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_02: Christine Bellweicheller is passionate about empowering others to take the next step in their lives.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_02: Through her own journey of lessons, growth, and transformation, she helps people move beyond fear, uncertainty, and self-doubt.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_02: Her work focuses on encouraging women to create meaningful change through intentional action that is so important in today's world.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_02: Christine believes momentum is built one decision and one step at a time.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_02: And her message reminds us that direction does not require seeing the whole path.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: It begins with choosing the next right step.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: Christine, welcome to your thoughts, your reality.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_02: Will you tell us a little more about yourself?
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for having me.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, that that's always a fun question, right?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Tell me about yourself.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, where do you start?
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, I think one of the most important things about me is being raised by a single mom who wasn't from this country.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I have a unique perspective on a lot of things because of that.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And then through my own journey of raising a son on the autism spectrum as a single mom, too.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's a lot that goes in that, a lot of dynamics and seeing the different things of being a single mom and a woman in the workforce, a woman in, you know, different things and the perspective that it gives you.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I've been in the corporate world, can I just say over 30 years now?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and we don't like to admit that always, right?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, it definitely gives you a perspective and a lens for me to really help empower other women to really see past limitations, past certain things with the life experiences.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: So even though you know things have been rough and rocky on a lot of different points, it has made it broader so I can help empower others.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: And their journey doesn't have to be as rough and tumbly as mine.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely love it.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_02: Get people further faster, right?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know what's funny is you're telling me you know a little bit more about yourself than we talked before, obviously, but I see a whole nother podcast on what you were just talking about.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Let's schedule it.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just doing it.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fantastic.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_02: So um when you hear direction, the the the word direction, the eighth, which is the eighth silent war, what does that mean to you personally?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it it really took me, you know, looking at you know our topic today, and direction can mean so many things to so many people.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, first first of all, when we talk about direction, you know, you think about okay, direction in my life, where am I going?
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I headed?
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: What what is all that about?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I think sometimes there's too much focus on just uh direction or maybe not direction, but final destination, right?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as I get there, as soon as this happens, as soon as I can get this or buy this or go there, right?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: We we have this direction focus that almost cripples us in a way.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it from moving forward, which I know we'll be talking a lot more about.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, it's it's funny because people, and I I know it's it's a question that we created, but we may get to it or not.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know, we're big on organic conversation, but it's just aiming, aiming, aiming, not shooting the gun, right?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: So I I think it's I think it's really important that what you said, though, is not just focusing on when I I'm just gonna use random things, but I get that new car or that new house or that new job.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_02: You know, it's it's also about the journey to it, right?
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Or for a lot of us, get the job, get married, have a kid, or you know, being able to have what my parents had, right?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Or just all of those different things that we just decide we'll we'll finally be there when we achieve that, or we'll finally be happy, or we'll finally find joy when we get there.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: And we're robbing ourselves of a lot of joy, not taking advantage of those steps on the way there.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_02: And and I want to bring this up as well is you know, completing goals, amen, beautiful thing.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: But generally what happens is when you when you get that new car or whatever, whatever it is.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just gonna do the new car thing because everybody's been there at one point, right?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: You you get there and you're like, okay, this is great, but for how long?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: Before you're like, okay, well, now what?
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, and now the the buzz of the completion of the goal has has gone down.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why I bring up and we're talking about the journey itself and and really creating that momentum because you should really just take the time and enjoy that as well.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_02: Would you agree with that?
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, because when people, you know, ask me, how many certifications you have, how many degrees do you have, right?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I really don't like answering that question anymore.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: Because now that I have a different perspective of life, it's really too many because I had that kind of disease thinking in my head, right?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Of, okay, when I just have this certification, I'll be ready, or when I when I have that degree, then I'll be ready.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Or when this happens, or when this happens, right?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: And we're just paralyzing ourselves from moving forward, looking at things in that way.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely love that.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: And and you nicely brought into the next thing I wanted to talk about is feeling overwhelmed, right?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: So when you have these big, huge goals, it can be feel overwhelming, and that's a lot of times why people never begin.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_02: So let's talk about that a little bit, if you will.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Of course.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: And and what I love about us and knowing you, please know, like in the audience, we all go through this.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: So what we're talking about, and what we may think that, you know, we don't have it all figured out.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: I was literally just we go through ebbs and flows, we go through right the hills and the valleys of the different things.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just having those people in our lives to help us see it from a further distance, right?
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: That really helps us to move forward.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: But I literally, it was even a few months ago, like I have a tendency to overvolunteer for certain things and different things.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I just finally did a brain dump, wrote out everything, everything I wanted to do, everything there.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: And looking at that list, I'm like, this is crazy.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, no one in their right mind can get any of this stuff done, right?
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like in a matter of time.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: And but it's then like, okay, well, what's most important to me?
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel like, or what's my priority?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: What needs to get done first?
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: What really has a timeline?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: So it's very easy to get into a state of overwhelm.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: And interestingly enough, I was having a conversation with someone yesterday, and it and a lot of it's about the language you use too, right?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because I don't feel overwhelmed anymore with everything I have on my plate.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: I have a lot to do, but then I'm taking ownership, right?
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: About, okay, well, where's my priority?
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: What am I doing right now?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because once you get into that state of overwhelm, then you're really not getting anything done and you're not progressing.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: So if you can step back, right, and say, okay, I know I have a lot to do, or I have a lot on my plate, what what needs to come off that plate first?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what can I do?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: What can I accomplish?
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're able to step back from that and finally start accomplishing and celebrating, which maybe we'll talk about that later, maybe we won't, which is one of the most important parts, right?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: Is that you need to take that time and show your wins because when you don't celebrate and have those wins, you will stay in that stuff of overwhelm and not really progressing.
• 10:00
  unknown: Yeah.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_02: I I I love a lot of what you said, truly.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I we could probably do the podcast just on that.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_02: So, so third one in there.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: There we go.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_02: I know, right?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_02: We're just getting on here every week.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_02: So, so you know, one of the things I think is so important is when you are feeling that overwhelm, is is like you're saying, you know, what is the first thing I can do to get that off?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_02: Because when you're making progress, it changes the way it feels as well.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_02: So, I mean, I think when you're when you are going through and you're making progress, and again, we're gonna talk about chunking it down, I'm sure, as well, because we we want you to be able to move forward.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: So if you don't have direction and you're just going, holy god, I have 4,000 different things on my plate right now, it it is overwhelming.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: So when you make that progress in any aspect of life, whether it be health or finances or any of it, you feel better.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: And guess what's gonna happen?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_02: You're gonna do more, right?
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_02: Can you talk about that a little bit?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I I I want to kind of go back to just one second on a point that I think is like super helpful too.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we think about direction, right?
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: When I mentioned like the brain dump, sometimes it's important to look at that list and be like, is that really important to me?
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_00: My brain thinks I need to get all this stuff done.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: But do I really?
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: And a way to help that lens and to filter that is what where is it?
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want to use destination in the wrong way, but this part of my life right now, this direction, this goal, whatever I'm working towards right now, like what does that look like?
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: Are these things gonna help get me there?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And more importantly, as you and I know, it's not just about the actual goals or the steps in themselves, it's who is that person that I'm gonna be when I get there?
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: That you need to tie direction to because that's where you can get in your state of overwhelm, also because when you're so stuck on the checklist, when you're so so stuck on just checking, I gotta get this goal done, and that's where like buying the car.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you got the car now.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: What does it matter?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: So it's more about okay, who is the person I want to become that all of this makes more sense or brings me closer to who I want to become, more than just things that I want to buy or accomplish.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_02: Love it.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and and for for the average person, it's it's future-facing, right?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's what am I what what am I looking forward to?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: What am I gonna be?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_02: Who am I gonna be?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: All of that, all of those things.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_02: Because it really helps with the goals themselves.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: Because if you can see it, you can be excited about it.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: And if you're excited about it, you're more apt to do the things.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_02: So I I love that you brought that up, as well as you know, again, let's let's talk about chunking it down a little bit, and then I want to talk about overthinking it and how you can get in, you know, analysis, paralysis.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_02: So with with chunking it down, because we we want to give some you know clear kind of aspects or goals, if you will, of or or instruction.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_02: How how do you do all this, right?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_02: You have all this stuff, and holy hell, I don't know what to do or where to start or where to where to where to where it's going to end before I do this or whatever.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_02: So let's talk about having a main goal and kind of chunking it down for direction.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: And and the best part about this is I just went through this a few months ago.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like every, you know, periodically, I just have to, and that's where I talked about.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, as as one of our favorite mentors talks about, right?
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not teaching theory, I am teaching real life, and you know, taught we're talking about things that we actually go through on a daily basis sometimes.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: Just a few months ago, right?
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Like I had to do that brain dump for myself.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: There was just so much, and so I did the brain dump, and I'm like, okay, what are my top three priorities?
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: If I had to just assign top three priorities, and actually, someone we we exchange coaching with each other, right?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: You can't be a coach and not have a coach, you know, it just doesn't work that way.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I love about that is, you know, we hold ourselves accountable too about what are our top three things?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then even within that top three, if you had to pick a number one, you know, we we have this world of, oh, we can multitask, we can do many things.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, really, you can't.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: Our brains are made to only focus on one thing at one time.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, that doesn't mean you can't chunk and say, okay, I want to do, I'm gonna work a half an hour on this priority, half an hour on this priority, half an hour on this priority, right?
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: But you can't work on multiple things at one time.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: Our brains aren't made that way, it's just not humanly possible.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: But even taking that, like you're talking about chunks to not get into that state of overwhelm, right?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's take that one priority or even take all three.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: And what are the top three things that need to be done in each one of those priorities, right?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm sorry, in this world, it's hard to just focus on one thing at a time.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: That's the reality of our lives, right?
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: So that's why I don't want to say take one thing and just get that one done.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's not our reality anymore.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: But when you can think about your top three, because when you have too many, overwhelm sets in, nothing gets done.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely really chunking right, like, okay, take for example, you take your first priority.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, well, to get to accomplish that goal, whatever that looks like, what are the first three things I need to do to get closer to that?
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's many, and I don't want to say there's a one size fit all, because one of my many degrees, I have my master's in special education, right?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I've worked with kids with special needs.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: And no kid, no adult, whether you have special needs or not, your brain doesn't work the same way.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Your patterns don't work the same way.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: What works for you doesn't, right?
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: So even though we're talking about overall, obviously you need to adjust this individually to yourself.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: But like when you take those top three things, right, actually schedule them.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: So let me say that again because we're all so bad at this.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: When you actually want to accomplish something, you have to be so intentional to set aside that time to get it done.
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely love that.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_02: And you know what, it's funny because if you look at my my Outlook calendar, I have all these things in there.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_02: And I don't accomplish everything every day, but I'm intentional on what I need to, you know, my main things, and then I have extra things, right?
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_02: If there's extra time or whatever the case may be.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: And so you you my calendar is always full because you have to take an action.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: If you just think about something, great, but then you're gonna doom scroll or you're gonna watch Game of Thrones for the fourth time, or you know, whatever the case may be.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_02: So I love that you talk about scheduling it and taking that action.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's super important.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to go back to something else you said.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_02: You know, with when you have all of the different things, something that I do and I teach people to do is make a list of the overall goal and all the things that you need to do so you have an overall game plan, because then it takes some of the stress out of that as well.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_02: And then, like you said, the top three, circle the top three, and then what do I have to do to accomplish those three?
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_02: And and that really just simplifies it.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_02: And here's the beautiful thing at the end of the day, check off or cross off the things you did.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_02: And we talked about it earlier, celebrate the hell out of it, right?
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: I I am one of those old school kind of people.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: I tried to get completely digital, it just didn't work.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm this person that's stuck between half paper and pencil, pen really, paper and pen, and there.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: But I tell you what, there's something about it, and maybe it's just my personality, but I know a lot of others like me.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: We just like to cross things off or check it or like put an extra and be like, I accomplished it.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: And in my brain, that's kind of my way of celebrating one thing off my list, right?
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's that's one of the most important parts that we've brought up too, just with our neuron coding background, we know how important it is.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Is when you achieve it, take time to celebrate it.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you don't, then that's when you get into that loop of, well, what's next?
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: What's next?
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_00: What's next?
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: What's next?
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's not that we don't keep achieving goals, it's not that we don't want to continue to grow to become, you know, who we want to be even more or get to a point where we get and can start helping others more, whatever your outlook is for that.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, you know, celebrate it, or you get lost in the shuffle of just, and and I was that was that was me.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a recovering, non celebratory person because that was me for decades, probably for the first two working decades.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: It was okay, what do I have to do next?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: What do I have to do next?
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: What do I have to do next?
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't matter if what I achieved, how many accolades I had.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: It was always okay, I got it, then what's next?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that I think is one of the things if I could tell anybody that will make one of the hugest differences in your life, is to start taking time for celebrating and you will see a whole change in who you are, how you interact with others.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: It's amazing the effect that it can have on you and everyone around you.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and you know what, people, I love you said that because people don't realize your mood and the the the state you're in, how much it does affect everybody around you.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_02: If you're pissed off and people are walking on eggshells or you're celebrating walking around and dancing, guarantee it puts a smile on their face.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_02: So it's it's really important to for yourself first, and again, it how it how it creates a ripple effect or a tsunami effect, if you will, for the people around you.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_02: And guess what?
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_02: And then the people that they meet because they're in a better mood, and the people that they meet, so celebrate as much as you can.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_02: Celebrate just planning it, right?
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: Because that gets you more excited about it and releases all of the amazing hormones that makes your brain go say next, what what what what what was that?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_02: I want I want more of that, you know.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_02: I want that again, I want that next again.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_02: So super important, I think.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_02: So thank you for bringing all that up.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_02: So I want to go into overthinking.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_02: We're we're getting a little lower on time now, and I think this is super important because in today's world we have all this information, right?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_02: Christine, we we we're on whatever YouTube, podcast, not this one, this one's different.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_02: But we do, we get all this information, but then we don't do anything with it.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_02: And this is something that I I talk to my clients about when I do trainings and things.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's super important.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_02: It like you said it earlier, right?
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_02: You have you have a plan, you have this, you have that, but if you don't take an action, it doesn't matter.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_02: And that's I think where a lot of overwhelm and overthinking comes into play.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_02: So let's talk about you know, overthinking and and how that keeps people stuck, even when they know they want something, you know, want something more in their lives.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: And something you were just saying earlier, too, that again, guilty again at different points at different times, right?
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_02: We all are, my friend.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: And how many of us get stuck at ready aim, ready aim, ready aim?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_00: Which you know, I've been stuck at okay, certification.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: But wait, before I can, before I even can even be an okay coach, I have to understand this part and this part and know every Everything perfectly and everything expertly.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: I have to be the expert at everything.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: There are no experts to life.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't work that way.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: But and one book I'm reading right now is Drift to Drive by Chris Robinson.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_00: And I love it because it goes right along with this.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's one of the books I'm reading at the moment.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: We get stuck in this gathering phase.
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_00: And it's that same part of ready aim, ready aim.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the things that I love that he talks about is called, and you can apply it to any part of your life is learn a little, do a little.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe you're not even learning at that point.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe may replace that word with whatever it is in your life, but whatever it is that's keeping you stuck, right?
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you need to do, take a piece, then act.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: Take a piece, act.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, whether you're you're feeling stuck, okay, if I'm stuck, and going back to, you know, what my whole framework is based around is what is just that next step I need to take.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: And depending on where you are in life, like I have been in those places.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: Raising a child with special needs is not for the faint of heart, especially as a single mom.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: Some days it took everything I had just to get out of bed, just to make sure he had breakfast.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Just, you know, navigating school, being a single mom, work, plus I was going to school full-time.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: Remember, I told you I have a tendency to do a lot.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I do all of these things.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: And we get so to that point where we can't even move.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_00: And we just sometimes have to step back and focus on what is my next step.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_00: Not tomorrow, not next week, not next year, which is important when you're thinking about goals.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes come back to you and what is that exact next step?
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: The one in the next 10 seconds that would be meaningful.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: Love it.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely love it.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_02: And here's the thing, right?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_02: Is everybody says I'll start the diet on Monday, I'll start the exercise on Monday.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know what it is about Monday.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_02: It's tomorrow or Monday for whatever reason.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_02: You know, so I think what you said is absolutely just priceless, truly.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_02: So, so when we, you know, a lot of people, how do I say this?
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_02: So a lot of people get into whether that be the overwhelm, not knowing where to start, all the stuff, right?
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_02: But also sometimes it comes down to just fear and uncertainty.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_02: Well, let's be honest, self-doubt, right?
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_02: One of the toxic 10.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_02: So, so quietly just it's quietly disguising themselves as I'm waiting for the right time.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_02: So when is I just got chills?
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_02: Because when is the right damn time?
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_02: So talk to me a little bit about your thoughts on that.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: Well, let's just all be real with each other right now.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: The idea of the whole perfect time, the idea of the whole right time does not exist.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: If there, if that was the idea, I would have said no to this podcast, right?
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm not perfectly like ready.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_00: I I don't have everything perfect and ready.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like my hair's not completely done.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, whatever that is.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, this is actually done for me.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, we can keep making these excuses up for ourselves, and it's so easy to get into that pattern of whatever your goal is, to just keep being in that loop.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I need to finish that book first, I need to do this first, and you never get there and you never celebrate, right?
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_00: Going back to the next step theory, take that next step, celebrate.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you don't, that because the more you feed into that self-doubt, the more you give that side of your brain that you're letting take over.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you're right, I didn't take that next step.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: See, I can't do it, I can't go there.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: You're feeding that part instead of saying, you know what, I've got this.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: And some days, even if you feel like you're lying to yourself, just do it because and tell yourself, I can do this, I can take that next step, I will take this next step because it's important for me, to me, and it's okay to make me a priority.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_02: Love it, absolutely love it.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I want to add something else in there is how do you feel when you don't do it?
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: You beat yourself up, you feel bad about it, it feels like shit, you know.
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, let's be real.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I've done it, you've done it again, it's a human condition, right?
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: But when you do it and you take the action, it does two things you feel better about yourself, and that builds momentum.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_02: But but also I think conf taking action builds confidence.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_02: When you don't have that confidence, you take action and you see success, great, builds confidence.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_02: When you don't see success, you learn from it, and you're gonna be better the next time.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_02: So just take take the damn action, take the next step.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, take it, take the next step.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_02: And here's the other thing, everybody, is you kind of pivot.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_02: You know what?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_02: You have a certain goal, and that may change, and that's okay too.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_02: But as long as you keep moving forward, you're gonna have a more fulfilling life with all so I I know we're getting really low on time now, but I really wanted to go through this with you because I really want your thoughts on it.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_02: And it's really how does intentional action help someone rebuild confidence and momentum?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_02: Because we just touched baseline, but I wanted to talk more about it.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_00: We did, right?
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_00: And and it's just of talking, you're reinforcing those patterns in your brain, like right looking at the neurocoding.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: When you build those things, when and that whole celebrating it, you take that next step, you're building and showing yourself, right?
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're going against that self-doubt and teaching yourself and showing yourself, not all teaching, showing the action, right?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: I can do this, I can do hard things because when you listen to the world, when you listen to that voice inside, it's so easy to believe other people that you're fine just where you are.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: You're okay.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to do anything else.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to take that next step.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to get out of bed, you don't have to leave the house that day.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you don't need to do this.
• 28:48
  SPEAKER_00: But we're gonna tell you that we want you to take those steps to celebrate.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: We want to see that confidence built.
• 28:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the way to do that is to just continually start taking those small next steps.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: Notice we didn't say all the way to buy the car, right?
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's just doing the research.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: Why do I even want it?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: What about that car makes me want it, right?
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_00: Make sure you go back and look at what are those smaller steps I need to get there.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't do overwhelm, you don't feed yourself doubt, right?
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: So you can start building the confidence and celebrating that along the way.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's the key.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely love it.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely love it.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_02: So, Christine, for people listening who feel connected to your message, what is the best way for them to learn more about your work, follow you, book you, or you know, support what you're building?
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, Christine Bellby Keller, you can find me on Facebook and LinkedIn and Instagram.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: I am I am coach CK.
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_02: Love it.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_02: And as we know, time is the most precious resource we have as human beings.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_02: We we can't get it back.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_02: Christine, thank you so much for spending this time, you know, to help our mission and and to really make a difference in the world.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_00: If someone thank you for having us.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_02: If something today's conversation resonated with you, and we talked about a lot, everybody.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, we really did.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_02: Don't just move on to the next thing.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_02: Sit with it for a minute.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_02: You know, why does it matter to you?
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_02: You know, take that action, move, move, take that next step, as Christine says.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_02: Just just sit with it for a second.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_02: And of course, as always, if you know someone who may need to hear this, share this episode with them.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_02: You can also join us at your thoughtsyourreality.com where we continue these conversations around identity, transition, resilience, and growth.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_02: And remember, your thoughts shape your reality.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_02: We are out of here.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_02: See ya.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of Your Thoughts, your reality podcast with your host, Michael Cole.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: We hope the conversation sparks some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit EmpowerPerformance Strategies.com.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: Remember, your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: Catch you on the next episode.