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How Can I Teach My Kids about Money - When I Can’t Give Them Everything? · Becoming Financially Confident

• 1:20
  You
• 1:20
  know
• 1:20
  that
• 1:20
  look
• 1:21
  on
• 1:21
  their
• 1:21
  face
• 1:21
  when
• 1:21
  you
• 1:22
  say
• 1:22
  no?
• 1:23
  It's
• 1:23
  quick,
• 1:24
  it's
• 1:24
  quiet.
• 1:26
  But
• 1:26
  it
• 1:26
  hits
• 1:27
  you
• 1:27
  hard,
• 1:27
  doesn't
• 1:27
  it?
• 1:29
  And
• 1:29
  suddenly
• 1:30
  it's
• 1:30
  not
• 1:30
  about
• 1:30
  that
• 1:31
  toy
• 1:32
  or
• 1:32
  that
• 1:32
  trip
• 1:33
  or
• 1:33
  those
• 1:34
  shoes.
• 1:36
  You
• 1:36
  internalize
• 1:37
  it,
• 1:37
  and
• 1:37
  it
• 1:37
  feels
• 1:37
  like
• 1:38
  I'm
• 1:38
  not
• 1:38
  enough.
• 1:40
  I
• 1:40
  should
• 1:41
  be
• 1:41
  able
• 1:41
  to
• 1:41
  give
• 1:41
  them
• 1:41
  more.
• 1:43
  Am
• 1:44
  I
• 1:44
  failing
• 1:44
  them?
• 1:46
  If
• 1:47
  you've
• 1:47
  ever
• 1:47
  carried
• 1:47
  that
• 1:48
  guilt
• 1:48
  as
• 1:48
  a
• 1:48
  parent,
• 1:49
  today
• 1:49
  is
• 1:50
  for
• 1:50
  you.
• 1:51
  Because
• 1:51
  saying
• 1:52
  no
• 1:52
  doesn't
• 1:52
  mean
• 1:52
  you're
• 1:53
  a
• 1:53
  bad
• 1:53
  provider.
• 1:54
  It
• 1:55
  might
• 1:55
  actually
• 1:55
  mean
• 1:55
  you're
• 1:56
  a
• 1:56
  wise
• 1:56
  one.
• 2:18
  Hey,
• 2:18
  friend.
• 2:18
  Ralph
• 2:19
  Estep
• 2:19
  Jr.
• 2:20
  Here.
• 2:20
  This
• 2:21
  is
• 2:21
  Financially
• 2:21
  Confident
• 2:22
  Christian,
• 2:23
  where
• 2:23
  every
• 2:23
  day
• 2:23
  we're
• 2:24
  working
• 2:24
  to
• 2:24
  break
• 2:24
  that
• 2:25
  cycle
• 2:25
  of
• 2:25
  financial
• 2:26
  shame
• 2:27
  and
• 2:27
  do
• 2:27
  it
• 2:27
  with
• 2:27
  confidence.
• 2:29
  And
• 2:29
  today's
• 2:30
  topic
• 2:30
  hits
• 2:30
  close
• 2:30
  to
• 2:30
  home
• 2:31
  for
• 2:31
  me,
• 2:31
  because
• 2:31
  a
• 2:31
  couple
• 2:32
  months
• 2:32
  ago,
• 2:33
  my
• 2:33
  wife
• 2:33
  and
• 2:33
  I
• 2:34
  found
• 2:34
  out
• 2:34
  we're
• 2:34
  going
• 2:34
  to
• 2:34
  be
• 2:34
  grandparents.
• 2:36
  And
• 2:36
  the
• 2:36
  first
• 2:36
  thing
• 2:37
  my
• 2:37
  wife
• 2:37
  said
• 2:37
  is,
• 2:37
  you
• 2:38
  realize
• 2:38
  something,
• 2:38
  Ralph?
• 2:39
  Our
• 2:40
  grandchild
• 2:40
  will
• 2:41
  get
• 2:41
  everything
• 2:41
  they
• 2:42
  ever
• 2:42
  wanted.
• 2:42
  I
• 2:42
  said,
• 2:43
  hold
• 2:43
  a
• 2:43
  second.
• 2:43
  We
• 2:44
  got
• 2:44
  to
• 2:44
  slow
• 2:44
  that
• 2:44
  down
• 2:44
  a
• 2:45
  little
• 2:45
  bit.
• 2:46
  But
• 2:46
  today
• 2:47
  I
• 2:47
  really
• 2:47
  want
• 2:47
  to
• 2:47
  lean
• 2:48
  into
• 2:48
  that.
• 2:48
  I
• 2:48
  want
• 2:48
  to
• 2:48
  talk
• 2:48
  about
• 2:49
  teaching
• 2:49
  your
• 2:49
  kids
• 2:49
  well
• 2:50
  when
• 2:50
  you
• 2:50
  can't
• 2:50
  give
• 2:51
  them
• 2:51
  everything.
• 2:52
  And
• 2:52
  I
• 2:53
  get
• 2:53
  it,
• 2:53
  as
• 2:53
  a
• 2:53
  parent.
• 2:53
  We
• 2:54
  want
• 2:54
  to
• 2:54
  give
• 2:54
  them
• 2:54
  everything.
• 2:54
  But
• 2:55
  that
• 2:55
  might
• 2:55
  not
• 2:55
  be
• 2:55
  the
• 2:56
  best
• 2:56
  answer.
• 2:57
  Well,
• 2:57
  let's
• 2:57
  get
• 2:57
  right
• 2:57
  into
• 2:58
  today's
• 2:58
  listener
• 2:59
  question.
• 3:00
  Ralph,
• 3:01
  every
• 3:01
  time
• 3:01
  my
• 3:02
  kids
• 3:02
  ask
• 3:02
  for
• 3:02
  something,
• 3:03
  I
• 3:03
  have
• 3:03
  to
• 3:03
  say
• 3:03
  no.
• 3:04
  It
• 3:05
  breaks
• 3:05
  me
• 3:05
  a
• 3:05
  little.
• 3:06
  I
• 3:07
  see
• 3:07
  that
• 3:07
  disappointment
• 3:08
  in
• 3:08
  their
• 3:08
  faces,
• 3:08
  and
• 3:09
  I
• 3:09
  feel
• 3:09
  like
• 3:09
  I'm
• 3:09
  failing
• 3:10
  it.
• 3:11
  And,
• 3:11
  Ralph,
• 3:12
  that
• 3:12
  guilt
• 3:12
  is
• 3:12
  crushing,
• 3:14
  like
• 3:14
  I'm
• 3:14
  not
• 3:14
  providing
• 3:15
  what
• 3:15
  they
• 3:15
  need
• 3:15
  or
• 3:16
  deserve.
• 3:17
  How
• 3:18
  do
• 3:18
  I
• 3:18
  set
• 3:18
  boundaries
• 3:19
  without
• 3:19
  feeling
• 3:19
  like
• 3:19
  a
• 3:19
  bad
• 3:20
  parent?
• 3:21
  Yeah,
• 3:22
  I
• 3:22
  want
• 3:22
  to
• 3:22
  teach
• 3:22
  them
• 3:23
  well,
• 3:24
  but
• 3:24
  I
• 3:24
  can't
• 3:24
  shake
• 3:24
  the
• 3:25
  shame
• 3:25
  every
• 3:25
  time
• 3:25
  I
• 3:26
  can't
• 3:26
  give
• 3:26
  them
• 3:26
  what
• 3:26
  they
• 3:27
  want.
• 3:29
  Wow.
• 3:30
  I
• 3:30
  get
• 3:30
  it.
• 3:31
  My
• 3:31
  boys
• 3:32
  are
• 3:32
  24
• 3:33
  and
• 3:33
  28
• 3:33
  now,
• 3:34
  and
• 3:35
  I
• 3:35
  look
• 3:35
  back,
• 3:35
  and
• 3:36
  we
• 3:36
  were
• 3:37
  fortunate.
• 3:37
  I
• 3:37
  got
• 3:37
  to
• 3:37
  be
• 3:38
  honest
• 3:38
  with
• 3:38
  you.
• 3:38
  We
• 3:38
  were
• 3:38
  fortunate.
• 3:38
  But
• 3:39
  I
• 3:39
  didn't
• 3:39
  give
• 3:39
  them
• 3:39
  everything
• 3:39
  they
• 3:40
  wanted.
• 3:41
  But
• 3:41
  I
• 3:41
  want
• 3:41
  to
• 3:41
  tell
• 3:41
  you
• 3:42
  this
• 3:42
  right
• 3:42
  now.
• 3:42
  Your
• 3:43
  job.
• 3:44
  Hear
• 3:44
  me
• 3:45
  on
• 3:45
  this
• 3:45
  one.
• 3:46
  Your
• 3:46
  job
• 3:47
  is
• 3:47
  not
• 3:47
  to
• 3:47
  give
• 3:47
  your
• 3:48
  children
• 3:48
  everything.
• 3:50
  That's
• 3:50
  not
• 3:51
  your
• 3:51
  job.
• 3:52
  Your
• 3:53
  job
• 3:53
  is
• 3:53
  to
• 3:53
  prepare
• 3:54
  them
• 3:54
  for
• 3:55
  anything.
• 3:56
  See,
• 3:57
  that's
• 3:57
  the
• 3:57
  difference.
• 3:59
  But
• 4:00
  then
• 4:00
  you're
• 4:00
  saying,
• 4:00
  okay,
• 4:00
  Rob,
• 4:01
  how
• 4:01
  do
• 4:01
  I
• 4:01
  make
• 4:01
  this
• 4:02
  work
• 4:02
  so
• 4:02
  I
• 4:02
  don't
• 4:02
  feel
• 4:03
  guilt?
• 4:05
  First
• 4:05
  thing
• 4:05
  you've
• 4:05
  got
• 4:05
  to
• 4:06
  do.
• 4:06
  And
• 4:06
  I
• 4:06
  use
• 4:06
  this
• 4:06
  with
• 4:07
  adults,
• 4:07
  too.
• 4:08
  Separate
• 4:09
  needs
• 4:09
  from
• 4:10
  wants,
• 4:11
  because
• 4:11
  there
• 4:12
  is
• 4:12
  a
• 4:12
  difference.
• 4:13
  Do
• 4:13
  it
• 4:14
  clearly
• 4:14
  and
• 4:14
  do
• 4:15
  it
• 4:15
  calmly.
• 4:16
  Because
• 4:16
  here's
• 4:17
  the
• 4:17
  problem.
• 4:17
  Kids
• 4:17
  don't
• 4:18
  automatically
• 4:18
  know
• 4:18
  the
• 4:19
  difference
• 4:21
  because
• 4:21
  the
• 4:21
  kid
• 4:21
  will
• 4:21
  always
• 4:21
  say,
• 4:22
  I
• 4:22
  need
• 4:22
  this.
• 4:23
  I
• 4:23
  Don't
• 4:23
  know
• 4:23
  how
• 4:24
  many
• 4:24
  times
• 4:24
  I've
• 4:24
  been
• 4:24
  at
• 4:24
  the
• 4:25
  store.
• 4:25
  My
• 4:25
  youngest
• 4:25
  child
• 4:26
  would
• 4:26
  grab
• 4:26
  a
• 4:26
  hold
• 4:26
  of
• 4:26
  my
• 4:27
  pant
• 4:27
  leg
• 4:27
  and
• 4:27
  just
• 4:27
  pull
• 4:28
  me
• 4:28
  through
• 4:28
  the
• 4:28
  store
• 4:29
  and
• 4:29
  I
• 4:29
  would
• 4:29
  just
• 4:29
  drag
• 4:30
  him
• 4:30
  all
• 4:30
  the
• 4:30
  way
• 4:30
  across.
• 4:32
  Daddy,
• 4:32
  I
• 4:32
  need
• 4:32
  this.
• 4:33
  Mommy,
• 4:33
  I
• 4:33
  need
• 4:34
  this.
• 4:35
  Well,
• 4:35
  he
• 4:35
  didn't
• 4:36
  understand
• 4:36
  the
• 4:36
  difference,
• 4:37
  and
• 4:37
  that's
• 4:38
  not
• 4:38
  his
• 4:38
  fault.
• 4:39
  But
• 4:40
  as
• 4:40
  a
• 4:40
  parent,
• 4:40
  we've
• 4:40
  got
• 4:41
  to
• 4:41
  teach
• 4:41
  that.
• 4:42
  We've
• 4:43
  got
• 4:43
  to
• 4:43
  teach
• 4:43
  them
• 4:43
  that.
• 4:43
  Needs
• 4:44
  are
• 4:44
  things
• 4:44
  like
• 4:45
  food,
• 4:46
  shelter,
• 4:47
  clothing,
• 4:48
  safety
• 4:49
  and
• 4:50
  love.
• 4:52
  Those
• 4:52
  are
• 4:52
  all
• 4:52
  things.
• 4:52
  We
• 4:53
  all
• 4:53
  need
• 4:53
  those
• 4:54
  what
• 4:54
  our
• 4:54
  kids
• 4:54
  need,
• 4:56
  and
• 4:56
  so
• 4:56
  do
• 4:56
  I.
• 4:58
  Wants
• 4:58
  are
• 4:59
  trends,
• 4:59
  wants
• 4:59
  are
• 5:00
  extras.
• 5:02
  And
• 5:03
  when
• 5:03
  you
• 5:03
  say
• 5:03
  no
• 5:03
  to
• 5:04
  a
• 5:04
  want,
• 5:05
  you're
• 5:06
  actually
• 5:06
  protecting
• 5:07
  your
• 5:07
  family's
• 5:07
  stability.
• 5:08
  And
• 5:08
  see,
• 5:08
  that's
• 5:08
  the
• 5:08
  key
• 5:09
  to
• 5:09
  the
• 5:09
  whole
• 5:09
  thing.
• 5:09
  That's
• 5:10
  provision,
• 5:11
  that's
• 5:11
  not
• 5:11
  failure.
• 5:13
  But
• 5:13
  now
• 5:14
  you're
• 5:14
  saying,
• 5:14
  wait
• 5:14
  a
• 5:14
  second,
• 5:14
  Ralph,
• 5:15
  but
• 5:15
  I
• 5:15
  still
• 5:15
  feel
• 5:15
  this
• 5:16
  guilt.
• 5:18
  So
• 5:18
  how
• 5:18
  do
• 5:18
  you
• 5:19
  break
• 5:19
  that
• 5:19
  guilt?
• 5:19
  How
• 5:20
  do
• 5:20
  you
• 5:20
  replace
• 5:20
  that
• 5:20
  guilt
• 5:21
  with
• 5:21
  teaching
• 5:21
  moments.
• 5:23
  Instead
• 5:24
  of
• 5:24
  saying
• 5:24
  this,
• 5:24
  and
• 5:25
  my
• 5:25
  mother
• 5:25
  used
• 5:25
  to
• 5:25
  say
• 5:25
  this
• 5:26
  all
• 5:26
  the
• 5:26
  time,
• 5:26
  God
• 5:26
  rest
• 5:26
  her
• 5:27
  soul,
• 5:27
  but
• 5:27
  she
• 5:28
  would
• 5:28
  say,
• 5:28
  we
• 5:28
  can't
• 5:29
  afford
• 5:29
  it.
• 5:30
  But
• 5:31
  that
• 5:31
  wasn't
• 5:31
  really
• 5:31
  true,
• 5:33
  and
• 5:34
  that
• 5:34
  was
• 5:34
  a
• 5:34
  guilt
• 5:34
  thing
• 5:35
  for
• 5:35
  her.
• 5:36
  But
• 5:37
  I
• 5:37
  think
• 5:37
  you
• 5:37
  could
• 5:37
  flip
• 5:37
  the
• 5:37
  script.
• 5:38
  Try
• 5:38
  something
• 5:38
  like
• 5:38
  this.
• 5:38
  We're
• 5:39
  choosing
• 5:39
  something
• 5:40
  more
• 5:40
  important
• 5:40
  right
• 5:41
  now.
• 5:43
  When
• 5:43
  you're
• 5:43
  at
• 5:43
  the
• 5:43
  grocery
• 5:44
  store
• 5:44
  and
• 5:44
  your
• 5:44
  little
• 5:45
  one
• 5:45
  says,
• 5:45
  oh,
• 5:46
  daddy,
• 5:46
  I
• 5:46
  need
• 5:47
  this,
• 5:47
  I
• 5:47
  need
• 5:47
  this.
• 5:49
  This
• 5:50
  is
• 5:50
  a
• 5:50
  great
• 5:50
  teaching
• 5:50
  moment.
• 5:51
  Turn
• 5:51
  to
• 5:51
  them
• 5:51
  and
• 5:51
  say,
• 5:52
  okay,
• 5:52
  I
• 5:53
  understand
• 5:53
  that,
• 5:54
  but
• 5:55
  listen,
• 5:55
  if
• 5:55
  we
• 5:55
  do
• 5:55
  that,
• 5:57
  that
• 5:57
  means
• 5:57
  we
• 5:57
  can't
• 5:58
  go
• 5:58
  to
• 5:58
  the
• 5:58
  park
• 5:58
  later
• 5:59
  or
• 6:00
  we
• 6:00
  can't
• 6:00
  take
• 6:00
  that
• 6:00
  trip
• 6:01
  to
• 6:01
  Disney
• 6:01
  World
• 6:01
  we've
• 6:02
  been
• 6:02
  planning.
• 6:04
  Because
• 6:05
  when
• 6:05
  you
• 6:05
  show
• 6:05
  them
• 6:05
  the
• 6:06
  trade
• 6:06
  offs,
• 6:08
  show
• 6:08
  them
• 6:08
  the
• 6:08
  other
• 6:09
  positive
• 6:09
  side
• 6:09
  of
• 6:10
  it.
• 6:10
  Maybe
• 6:10
  for
• 6:10
  you,
• 6:10
  you're
• 6:11
  teaching
• 6:11
  them
• 6:11
  how
• 6:11
  to
• 6:11
  save.
• 6:12
  One
• 6:12
  of
• 6:12
  the
• 6:13
  biggest
• 6:13
  things
• 6:13
  my
• 6:13
  mother
• 6:14
  did
• 6:14
  for
• 6:14
  me
• 6:14
  is
• 6:14
  got
• 6:14
  me
• 6:15
  one
• 6:15
  of
• 6:15
  those
• 6:15
  piggy
• 6:15
  banks.
• 6:16
  And
• 6:17
  she
• 6:17
  would
• 6:17
  say
• 6:17
  to
• 6:17
  me,
• 6:17
  okay,
• 6:18
  Ralph,
• 6:18
  she
• 6:18
  said,
• 6:18
  here's
• 6:19
  50
• 6:19
  cents.
• 6:20
  Now
• 6:20
  I'm
• 6:20
  dating
• 6:20
  myself
• 6:21
  at
• 6:21
  53,
• 6:21
  but
• 6:22
  here's
• 6:22
  50
• 6:22
  cents
• 6:22
  to
• 6:23
  buy
• 6:23
  a
• 6:23
  toy.
• 6:23
  Or
• 6:24
  she
• 6:25
  would
• 6:25
  say,
• 6:25
  but
• 6:25
  wait
• 6:25
  a
• 6:25
  second,
• 6:26
  you
• 6:26
  could
• 6:26
  always
• 6:26
  put
• 6:26
  it
• 6:26
  in
• 6:26
  your
• 6:26
  piggy
• 6:27
  bank.
• 6:28
  And
• 6:28
  I
• 6:29
  would
• 6:29
  think,
• 6:29
  oh
• 6:29
  yeah,
• 6:29
  I
• 6:29
  could
• 6:29
  put
• 6:30
  my
• 6:30
  piggy
• 6:30
  bank.
• 6:30
  And
• 6:30
  when
• 6:30
  I
• 6:31
  get
• 6:31
  home,
• 6:31
  I
• 6:31
  could
• 6:31
  shake
• 6:32
  that
• 6:32
  thing
• 6:32
  and
• 6:32
  hear
• 6:32
  that
• 6:32
  clank
• 6:33
  and
• 6:33
  a
• 6:33
  change.
• 6:35
  Maybe
• 6:35
  for
• 6:36
  your
• 6:36
  kids,
• 6:36
  you
• 6:36
  got
• 6:36
  to
• 6:36
  say
• 6:36
  to
• 6:37
  them,
• 6:37
  listen,
• 6:38
  this
• 6:38
  means
• 6:39
  we
• 6:39
  stay
• 6:39
  out
• 6:39
  of
• 6:39
  debt
• 6:40
  if
• 6:40
  we
• 6:40
  don't
• 6:40
  buy
• 6:40
  this.
• 6:42
  As
• 6:42
  your
• 6:42
  kids
• 6:42
  get
• 6:42
  a
• 6:43
  little
• 6:43
  older,
• 6:43
  you
• 6:43
  can
• 6:43
  say
• 6:44
  things
• 6:44
  like,
• 6:44
  hey,
• 6:44
  this
• 6:44
  protects
• 6:45
  our
• 6:45
  home.
• 6:47
  You're
• 6:47
  teaching
• 6:47
  them
• 6:48
  long
• 6:48
  term
• 6:48
  thinking.
• 6:50
  And
• 6:50
  see,
• 6:50
  that's
• 6:50
  what
• 6:51
  your
• 6:51
  role
• 6:51
  as
• 6:51
  a
• 6:51
  parent
• 6:52
  Is
• 6:52
  your
• 6:52
  role
• 6:53
  as
• 6:53
  a
• 6:53
  parent
• 6:53
  is
• 6:53
  to
• 6:54
  teach
• 6:54
  them
• 6:54
  life
• 6:54
  skills,
• 6:55
  not
• 6:55
  to
• 6:55
  fulfill
• 6:56
  every
• 6:57
  want
• 6:57
  and
• 6:58
  desire
• 6:58
  of
• 6:59
  their
• 6:59
  lives.
• 6:59
  They
• 6:59
  don't
• 7:00
  need
• 7:00
  all
• 7:00
  those
• 7:00
  things.
• 7:02
  Well,
• 7:02
  here's
• 7:02
  one
• 7:02
  thing
• 7:02
  you
• 7:02
  can
• 7:03
  really
• 7:03
  do.
• 7:03
  I
• 7:03
  think
• 7:03
  this
• 7:03
  is
• 7:04
  a
• 7:04
  beautiful
• 7:05
  thing
• 7:05
  to
• 7:05
  do.
• 7:05
  Give
• 7:06
  them
• 7:06
  ownership
• 7:07
  in
• 7:07
  small
• 7:07
  ways
• 7:09
  if
• 7:09
  they
• 7:09
  want
• 7:10
  something.
• 7:11
  We
• 7:12
  did
• 7:12
  this
• 7:12
  with
• 7:12
  our
• 7:12
  youngest.
• 7:14
  Create
• 7:14
  a
• 7:14
  savings
• 7:15
  jar
• 7:15
  and
• 7:16
  then
• 7:16
  offer
• 7:16
  some
• 7:17
  small
• 7:17
  chores.
• 7:17
  Now
• 7:17
  he
• 7:17
  got
• 7:17
  a
• 7:18
  little
• 7:18
  crazy
• 7:18
  with
• 7:18
  it.
• 7:19
  I'll
• 7:19
  tell
• 7:19
  you
• 7:19
  a
• 7:19
  funny
• 7:20
  story.
• 7:20
  Never
• 7:20
  forget
• 7:21
  he
• 7:21
  wanted
• 7:21
  to
• 7:21
  buy
• 7:22
  something
• 7:22
  and
• 7:23
  he
• 7:23
  got
• 7:23
  the
• 7:23
  idea
• 7:24
  that
• 7:24
  he
• 7:24
  needed
• 7:24
  to
• 7:24
  save
• 7:25
  for
• 7:25
  it.
• 7:25
  And
• 7:25
  we
• 7:25
  said,
• 7:25
  well
• 7:26
  listen,
• 7:26
  here's
• 7:26
  what
• 7:26
  you
• 7:26
  can
• 7:26
  do.
• 7:27
  You
• 7:27
  can
• 7:27
  help
• 7:27
  your
• 7:28
  mother
• 7:28
  do
• 7:28
  this,
• 7:28
  you
• 7:29
  can
• 7:29
  work
• 7:29
  around
• 7:29
  the
• 7:29
  house.
• 7:30
  Well,
• 7:30
  I
• 7:31
  guess
• 7:31
  a
• 7:31
  day
• 7:31
  or
• 7:31
  two
• 7:31
  later
• 7:32
  he
• 7:32
  came
• 7:32
  to
• 7:32
  me
• 7:32
  and
• 7:32
  his
• 7:33
  mother.
• 7:33
  He
• 7:33
  says,
• 7:33
  listen,
• 7:34
  I've
• 7:34
  written
• 7:34
  a
• 7:34
  menu.
• 7:35
  And
• 7:35
  we
• 7:36
  both
• 7:36
  looked
• 7:36
  at
• 7:36
  each
• 7:36
  other
• 7:36
  like
• 7:37
  a
• 7:37
  menu.
• 7:37
  What
• 7:37
  are
• 7:37
  you
• 7:37
  talking
• 7:37
  about?
• 7:38
  He
• 7:38
  said,
• 7:38
  I
• 7:38
  got
• 7:38
  a
• 7:38
  menu
• 7:38
  of
• 7:39
  things
• 7:39
  I'm
• 7:39
  willing
• 7:39
  to
• 7:39
  do
• 7:40
  for
• 7:40
  you.
• 7:40
  And
• 7:41
  he
• 7:41
  had
• 7:41
  a
• 7:41
  menu.
• 7:41
  It
• 7:41
  looked
• 7:42
  like
• 7:42
  you'd
• 7:42
  get
• 7:42
  what
• 7:42
  you
• 7:42
  get
• 7:43
  at
• 7:43
  a
• 7:43
  restaurant.
• 7:44
  And
• 7:44
  he
• 7:44
  said,
• 7:44
  foot
• 7:44
  rub,
• 7:45
  10
• 7:45
  bucks,
• 7:47
  clean
• 7:47
  the
• 7:47
  bathrooms,
• 7:48
  20
• 7:48
  bucks.
• 7:49
  He
• 7:50
  took
• 7:50
  it
• 7:50
  to
• 7:50
  an
• 7:50
  extreme,
• 7:51
  but
• 7:52
  I
• 7:52
  love
• 7:52
  this
• 7:52
  idea.
• 7:53
  Match
• 7:53
  part
• 7:53
  of
• 7:54
  what
• 7:54
  they
• 7:54
  save
• 7:55
  to
• 7:55
  work.
• 7:57
  Because
• 7:57
  that's
• 7:57
  the
• 7:57
  thing
• 7:57
  I
• 7:58
  think
• 7:58
  we
• 7:58
  miss
• 7:58
  out
• 7:58
  on.
• 7:58
  That
• 7:59
  lesson
• 7:59
  then
• 7:59
  becomes
• 8:00
  work.
• 8:01
  You
• 8:01
  work
• 8:01
  for
• 8:02
  things,
• 8:03
  it
• 8:03
  becomes
• 8:03
  patience.
• 8:05
  You
• 8:05
  set
• 8:05
  aside
• 8:06
  your
• 8:06
  patient
• 8:06
  for
• 8:07
  things.
• 8:07
  And
• 8:07
  it's
• 8:08
  all
• 8:08
  about
• 8:08
  goal
• 8:09
  setting.
• 8:10
  We
• 8:10
  live
• 8:10
  in
• 8:10
  one
• 8:11
  of
• 8:11
  the
• 8:11
  most
• 8:11
  instant
• 8:12
  gratification
• 8:13
  times
• 8:13
  in
• 8:13
  our
• 8:13
  lives.
• 8:14
  This
• 8:14
  is
• 8:14
  all
• 8:15
  about
• 8:15
  breaking
• 8:15
  that
• 8:16
  non
• 8:16
  that
• 8:17
  cycle
• 8:17
  of
• 8:18
  instant
• 8:18
  gratification
• 8:19
  and
• 8:19
  really
• 8:19
  building
• 8:20
  character
• 8:20
  muscles
• 8:21
  with
• 8:21
  those
• 8:21
  with
• 8:21
  them.
• 8:22
  They're
• 8:22
  going
• 8:22
  to
• 8:22
  need
• 8:22
  those
• 8:23
  character
• 8:23
  muscles
• 8:23
  the
• 8:24
  rest
• 8:24
  of
• 8:24
  their
• 8:24
  lives.
• 8:26
  Here's
• 8:26
  another
• 8:26
  thing
• 8:27
  you
• 8:27
  can
• 8:27
  do.
• 8:29
  Model
• 8:29
  peace
• 8:29
  instead
• 8:30
  of
• 8:30
  panic.
• 8:32
  So
• 8:32
  many
• 8:32
  parents,
• 8:33
  and
• 8:33
  I'm
• 8:33
  not
• 8:33
  picking
• 8:34
  on
• 8:34
  parents
• 8:34
  because
• 8:34
  listen,
• 8:34
  I've
• 8:35
  been
• 8:35
  there,
• 8:35
  done
• 8:35
  that.
• 8:36
  Our
• 8:37
  children
• 8:37
  absorb
• 8:38
  tone
• 8:38
  more
• 8:38
  than
• 8:39
  content.
• 8:40
  If
• 8:41
  every
• 8:41
  time
• 8:41
  you
• 8:41
  tell
• 8:42
  them
• 8:42
  no
• 8:42
  it
• 8:42
  feels
• 8:42
  like
• 8:43
  shame
• 8:43
  filled
• 8:44
  or
• 8:45
  if
• 8:45
  you
• 8:45
  do
• 8:45
  that,
• 8:46
  they're
• 8:46
  going
• 8:46
  to
• 8:46
  attach
• 8:47
  fear
• 8:47
  to
• 8:47
  money.
• 8:49
  That's
• 8:49
  not
• 8:49
  a
• 8:50
  good
• 8:50
  life
• 8:50
  lessons.
• 8:52
  But
• 8:52
  if
• 8:52
  you
• 8:52
  say
• 8:52
  something
• 8:53
  like
• 8:53
  this,
• 8:53
  listen,
• 8:54
  listen,
• 8:54
  little
• 8:54
  Johnny,
• 8:54
  not
• 8:55
  right
• 8:55
  now,
• 8:56
  we're
• 8:56
  okay,
• 8:57
  but
• 8:57
  we
• 8:57
  can't
• 8:57
  do
• 8:57
  that
• 8:58
  right
• 8:58
  now.
• 8:59
  What
• 9:00
  do
• 9:00
  they
• 9:00
  learn
• 9:00
  from
• 9:00
  that?
• 9:00
  They
• 9:01
  learn
• 9:01
  that
• 9:01
  we're
• 9:01
  stable,
• 9:02
  they
• 9:03
  learn
• 9:03
  that
• 9:03
  we're
• 9:03
  safe,
• 9:05
  and
• 9:06
  they
• 9:06
  learn
• 9:06
  that
• 9:06
  we're
• 9:06
  steady
• 9:08
  because
• 9:08
  that
• 9:09
  emotional
• 9:09
  response
• 9:10
  teaches
• 9:10
  more
• 9:10
  than
• 9:10
  that
• 9:11
  purchase
• 9:11
  ever
• 9:11
  could.
• 9:12
  When
• 9:12
  my
• 9:12
  mom
• 9:12
  said
• 9:12
  we
• 9:13
  can't
• 9:13
  afford
• 9:13
  that.
• 9:15
  Give
• 9:15
  you
• 9:15
  a
• 9:15
  little
• 9:15
  bit
• 9:15
  of
• 9:15
  the
• 9:16
  backstory
• 9:17
  when
• 9:18
  my
• 9:18
  dad
• 9:18
  left
• 9:18
  when
• 9:18
  I
• 9:19
  was
• 9:19
  8
• 9:20
  and
• 9:20
  I
• 9:21
  became
• 9:21
  sort
• 9:21
  of
• 9:21
  the
• 9:21
  man
• 9:22
  of
• 9:22
  the
• 9:22
  house
• 9:22
  and
• 9:22
  I
• 9:22
  internalized
• 9:23
  those
• 9:23
  things.
• 9:23
  So
• 9:23
  when
• 9:24
  my
• 9:24
  mom
• 9:24
  said
• 9:24
  to
• 9:24
  me,
• 9:25
  we
• 9:25
  can't
• 9:25
  afford
• 9:26
  that,
• 9:26
  I
• 9:27
  went
• 9:27
  into
• 9:27
  worry
• 9:27
  mode.
• 9:29
  You
• 9:29
  don't
• 9:29
  realize
• 9:30
  you
• 9:30
  might
• 9:30
  be
• 9:30
  putting
• 9:31
  your
• 9:31
  own
• 9:31
  kids
• 9:31
  into
• 9:32
  worry
• 9:32
  mode.
• 9:32
  So
• 9:32
  stop
• 9:33
  tying
• 9:33
  those
• 9:33
  emotions
• 9:34
  to
• 9:34
  that.
• 9:36
  And
• 9:36
  here's
• 9:36
  the
• 9:36
  big
• 9:36
  takeaway.
• 9:38
  Remember
• 9:39
  what
• 9:39
  they
• 9:39
  will
• 9:39
  actually
• 9:40
  remember.
• 9:42
  Think
• 9:42
  about
• 9:42
  it
• 9:42
  yourself.
• 9:43
  You
• 9:43
  remember
• 9:43
  all
• 9:43
  the
• 9:43
  toys
• 9:44
  you
• 9:44
  had
• 9:44
  to
• 9:44
  have,
• 9:45
  all
• 9:45
  those
• 9:46
  Christmas
• 9:46
  gifts,
• 9:47
  those
• 9:47
  toys,
• 9:47
  you
• 9:47
  had
• 9:48
  to
• 9:48
  have
• 9:48
  them.
• 9:49
  You're
• 9:49
  not
• 9:49
  going
• 9:49
  to
• 9:50
  remember
• 9:50
  most
• 9:50
  of
• 9:51
  them.
• 9:52
  You're
• 9:52
  not
• 9:52
  going
• 9:52
  to
• 9:53
  remember
• 9:53
  those
• 9:53
  things.
• 9:54
  You're
• 9:55
  not
• 9:55
  going
• 9:55
  to
• 9:55
  remember
• 9:55
  that
• 9:55
  ball
• 9:56
  you
• 9:56
  had
• 9:56
  to
• 9:56
  have
• 9:56
  at
• 9:56
  the
• 9:57
  store.
• 9:57
  You're
• 9:57
  not
• 9:57
  going
• 9:57
  to
• 9:58
  remember
• 9:58
  those
• 9:58
  shoes
• 9:58
  you
• 9:59
  had
• 9:59
  to
• 9:59
  have.
• 10:00
  But
• 10:01
  what
• 10:01
  you
• 10:01
  will
• 10:01
  remember,
• 10:02
  like
• 10:02
  I
• 10:02
  just
• 10:02
  shared,
• 10:03
  you're
• 10:03
  going
• 10:03
  to
• 10:03
  remember
• 10:03
  how
• 10:03
  you
• 10:04
  felt.
• 10:05
  They're
• 10:06
  going
• 10:06
  to
• 10:06
  remember
• 10:06
  if
• 10:06
  the
• 10:07
  home
• 10:07
  felt
• 10:07
  secure,
• 10:09
  and
• 10:10
  they're
• 10:10
  going
• 10:10
  to
• 10:10
  remember
• 10:10
  whether
• 10:11
  you
• 10:11
  were
• 10:11
  present
• 10:11
  there
• 10:11
  in
• 10:12
  their
• 10:12
  lives.
• 10:14
  Because
• 10:14
  provision
• 10:15
  is
• 10:15
  never
• 10:15
  measured
• 10:16
  in
• 10:16
  packages.
• 10:18
  It's
• 10:19
  measured
• 10:19
  in
• 10:19
  stability
• 10:21
  and
• 10:21
  it's
• 10:21
  measured
• 10:22
  in
• 10:22
  love.
• 10:23
  And
• 10:24
  when
• 10:24
  you
• 10:24
  create
• 10:24
  those
• 10:25
  boundaries,
• 10:26
  you
• 10:26
  know
• 10:27
  I
• 10:27
  said
• 10:27
  one
• 10:27
  of
• 10:27
  the
• 10:27
  needs
• 10:28
  you
• 10:28
  have
• 10:28
  is
• 10:28
  love.
• 10:28
  Boundaries
• 10:29
  are
• 10:29
  love
• 10:29
  in
• 10:30
  action.
• 10:32
  So
• 10:32
  here's
• 10:32
  today's
• 10:33
  win
• 10:33
  for
• 10:33
  you.
• 10:34
  The
• 10:35
  next
• 10:35
  time
• 10:35
  you
• 10:35
  have
• 10:36
  to
• 10:36
  say
• 10:36
  no,
• 10:36
  and
• 10:36
  I'm
• 10:36
  going
• 10:37
  to
• 10:37
  encourage
• 10:37
  you.
• 10:37
  Say
• 10:37
  no
• 10:37
  to
• 10:38
  your
• 10:38
  kids,
• 10:39
  you
• 10:39
  can
• 10:39
  say
• 10:39
  to
• 10:39
  them,
• 10:40
  I
• 10:40
  listened
• 10:40
  to
• 10:40
  Ralph
• 10:41
  and
• 10:41
  Ralph
• 10:41
  said
• 10:42
  it's
• 10:42
  okay
• 10:42
  to
• 10:42
  say
• 10:42
  no.
• 10:44
  But
• 10:44
  when
• 10:44
  you
• 10:44
  do
• 10:44
  say
• 10:45
  no,
• 10:45
  add
• 10:46
  one
• 10:46
  teaching
• 10:46
  sentence,
• 10:48
  something
• 10:49
  like,
• 10:49
  we're
• 10:49
  choosing
• 10:49
  long
• 10:50
  term
• 10:50
  peace
• 10:50
  over
• 10:51
  short
• 10:51
  term
• 10:51
  stuff.
• 10:53
  That's
• 10:53
  your
• 10:53
  opportunity
• 10:54
  to
• 10:54
  reframe
• 10:54
  the
• 10:55
  moment
• 10:55
  for
• 10:55
  them.
• 10:57
  But
• 10:57
  even
• 10:57
  bigger
• 10:57
  than
• 10:58
  that,
• 10:58
  you
• 10:58
  reframe
• 10:58
  it
• 10:58
  for
• 10:59
  yourself
• 10:59
  and
• 10:59
  you
• 11:00
  break
• 11:00
  that
• 11:00
  cycle
• 11:01
  of
• 11:01
  guilt.
• 11:03
  Let's
• 11:03
  talk
• 11:03
  about
• 11:03
  a
• 11:03
  little
• 11:04
  bit
• 11:04
  deeper.
• 11:04
  Let's
• 11:04
  go
• 11:04
  to
• 11:04
  the
• 11:04
  Book
• 11:05
  of
• 11:05
  Proverbs,
• 11:06
  chapter
• 11:06
  22,
• 11:07
  verse
• 11:07
  6,
• 11:08
  probably
• 11:09
  the
• 11:09
  most
• 11:09
  famous
• 11:10
  verse
• 11:10
  about
• 11:11
  children.
• 11:11
  Again,
• 11:12
  Proverbs
• 11:12
  22:6.
• 11:13
  It
• 11:13
  says,
• 11:14
  Start
• 11:14
  children
• 11:15
  off
• 11:15
  on
• 11:15
  the
• 11:16
  way
• 11:16
  they
• 11:16
  should
• 11:16
  go,
• 11:17
  and
• 11:18
  even
• 11:18
  when
• 11:18
  they're
• 11:19
  old,
• 11:19
  they
• 11:20
  will
• 11:20
  not
• 11:20
  turn
• 11:21
  from
• 11:21
  it.
• 11:23
  See,
• 11:23
  even
• 11:23
  the
• 11:23
  scripture
• 11:24
  tells
• 11:24
  us
• 11:24
  this
• 11:25
  because
• 11:26
  shaping
• 11:26
  their
• 11:27
  character
• 11:27
  and
• 11:27
  wisdom
• 11:28
  matters
• 11:29
  more
• 11:29
  than
• 11:29
  satisfying
• 11:30
  every
• 11:30
  request
• 11:31
  of
• 11:31
  their
• 11:31
  little
• 11:31
  innocent
• 11:32
  lives.
• 11:34
  Let's
• 11:34
  pray
• 11:35
  together.
• 11:36
  Lord,
• 11:37
  you've
• 11:37
  entrusted
• 11:38
  these
• 11:38
  children
• 11:38
  to
• 11:39
  us
• 11:39
  as
• 11:39
  parents
• 11:41
  and
• 11:41
  you
• 11:41
  see
• 11:42
  the
• 11:42
  weight
• 11:42
  that
• 11:42
  we
• 11:42
  carry.
• 11:44
  So
• 11:44
  when
• 11:44
  guilt
• 11:45
  rises,
• 11:45
  Lord,
• 11:45
  remind
• 11:46
  us
• 11:46
  all
• 11:46
  that
• 11:47
  provision
• 11:47
  is
• 11:47
  more
• 11:48
  than
• 11:48
  purchases.
• 11:50
  Give
• 11:50
  us
• 11:50
  wisdom
• 11:50
  to
• 11:51
  teach
• 11:51
  patiently
• 11:53
  give
• 11:53
  us
• 11:53
  courage
• 11:54
  to
• 11:54
  set
• 11:54
  those
• 11:54
  loving
• 11:55
  boundaries
• 11:55
  even
• 11:55
  when
• 11:56
  they
• 11:56
  feel
• 11:56
  sort
• 11:56
  of
• 11:56
  uncomfortable.
• 11:58
  And
• 11:58
  help
• 11:59
  us
• 11:59
  all
• 11:59
  have
• 11:59
  homes
• 12:00
  that
• 12:00
  feel
• 12:00
  steady
• 12:00
  and
• 12:01
  not
• 12:01
  strained.
• 12:03
  And
• 12:03
  let
• 12:03
  all
• 12:03
  of
• 12:04
  our
• 12:04
  children
• 12:04
  grow
• 12:04
  up
• 12:05
  knowing
• 12:05
  that
• 12:06
  we
• 12:06
  may
• 12:06
  not
• 12:06
  have
• 12:07
  had
• 12:07
  everything,
• 12:08
  but
• 12:09
  we
• 12:09
  sure
• 12:09
  had
• 12:09
  what
• 12:09
  mattered.
• 12:11
  And
• 12:11
  we
• 12:11
  ask
• 12:12
  this
• 12:12
  in
• 12:12
  Jesus
• 12:13
  name.
• 12:14
  Amen.
• 12:16
  Listen,
• 12:17
  friend,
• 12:18
  you're
• 12:18
  not
• 12:18
  failing.
• 12:20
  You're
• 12:20
  forming
• 12:21
  them
• 12:22
  and
• 12:22
  you're
• 12:23
  bringing
• 12:23
  them
• 12:23
  up
• 12:23
  in
• 12:23
  the
• 12:24
  way
• 12:24
  that
• 12:24
  they
• 12:24
  should
• 12:24
  go.
• 12:25
  Well,
• 12:26
  if
• 12:26
  you've
• 12:26
  got
• 12:26
  a
• 12:26
  question
• 12:26
  for
• 12:27
  this
• 12:27
  show,
• 12:27
  I'd
• 12:28
  love
• 12:28
  to
• 12:28
  hear
• 12:28
  it.
• 12:29
  Go
• 12:29
  to
• 12:29
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question
• 12:33
  we'll
• 12:33
  put
• 12:33
  that
• 12:34
  in
• 12:34
  the
• 12:34
  show
• 12:34
  notes.
• 12:34
  You
• 12:35
  can
• 12:35
  even
• 12:35
  leave
• 12:35
  us
• 12:35
  a
• 12:36
  voicemail
• 12:36
  by
• 12:36
  going
• 12:36
  there
• 12:37
  also.
• 12:38
  But
• 12:38
  go
• 12:38
  to
• 12:38
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/question
• 12:42
  well,
• 12:43
  thank
• 12:43
  you
• 12:43
  so
• 12:43
  much
• 12:43
  for
• 12:44
  joining
• 12:44
  me
• 12:44
  today.
• 12:45
  As
• 12:45
  I
• 12:45
  always
• 12:45
  say,
• 12:46
  stay
• 12:46
  financially
• 12:47
  savvy.
• 12:47
  May
• 12:48
  God
• 12:48
  bless
• 12:48
  you.
• 12:49
  And
• 12:49
  you
• 12:49
  have
• 12:49
  a
• 12:49
  great
• 12:50
  day
• 12:50
  today.