Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Dr. Alfiee On Creating Safe Spaces For Mental Health Conversations, Youth Outreach + More

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INTERVIEW: Dr. Alfiee On Creating Safe Spaces For Mental Health Conversations, Youth Outreach + More · The Breakfast Club

0:00
Speaker 1: Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club.
0:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, since the world's most dangerous moning to show to
0:05
Speaker 2: Breakfast Club. Charlamage and God Jess Hilarious. DJ NBA is
0:08
Speaker 2: out today, but we have a special guest, my partner,
0:11
Speaker 2: doctor Alfie Breeland Noble.
0:13
Speaker 1: Good morning, doctor, Alfare how you feeling. I'm good. I'm good.
0:17
Speaker 1: I'm here with y'all. What could be better?
0:19
Speaker 2: Absolutely, we just had another successful mental Wealth export.
0:22
Speaker 1: Yes, it was a fifth, fifth annual. It was awesome.
0:25
Speaker 1: It was such a wonderful I'm gonna tell you this, Newark.
0:30
Speaker 1: I love Newark. That audience, girl, the energy, they were
0:34
Speaker 1: like locked in and they were paying attention and they
0:38
Speaker 1: were responsive and they were just so kind and so
0:42
Speaker 1: I loved that we were in Newark and that we
0:44
Speaker 1: went there this year. The venue was fantastic, New Jersey
0:46
Speaker 1: Institute of Technology. Everybody there was really cool. So it
0:49
Speaker 1: was fantastic.
0:50
Speaker 3: Yeah. What are some of the things that you took away?
0:52
Speaker 3: Like the people open up to you about certain things.
0:55
Speaker 1: They always do. Like I ended up with like a
0:57
Speaker 1: line of people because I think people be trying to
0:58
Speaker 1: get free therapy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think what
1:03
Speaker 1: I learned was that there's so much need out there,
1:06
Speaker 1: and I learned a lot. My son was on stage
1:09
Speaker 1: at one point. I learned a lot from Jason Wilson.
1:11
Speaker 1: I learned a lot from a lot of the different
1:13
Speaker 1: people who were on stage. But I think the main
1:16
Speaker 1: thing I learned was that Black people actually do want healing.
1:20
Speaker 2: Right.
1:20
Speaker 1: People act like we just out here wilding and like
1:23
Speaker 1: we don't care about our mental health and we don't
1:25
Speaker 1: care to take care of ourselves, but we do, like,
1:27
Speaker 1: you know, and everybody's not on this hustle grind, push through,
1:31
Speaker 1: you know, at all cost type of culture. So what
1:33
Speaker 1: I feel like I saw in people was a real
1:37
Speaker 1: hunger and desire to get tools to help them with
1:40
Speaker 1: their mental health. I also learned, I mean I knew this,
1:43
Speaker 1: but the people love Charlotmagne and they really appreciate and
1:46
Speaker 1: respect what he's trying to do with putting these resources
1:50
Speaker 1: out into the community and talking about his own mental health.
1:53
Speaker 1: And I think the final thing I learned is that
1:55
Speaker 1: was just reinforced for me, was how loving Black people are.
1:58
Speaker 1: We are some loving wealth people, and I just felt
2:02
Speaker 1: so much positive energy at that event. Met so many
2:04
Speaker 1: wonderful people whom I hadn't met before whom I admired
2:07
Speaker 1: from Afar. And I have to say this, Deontay Wilder
2:11
Speaker 1: is the nicest. That brother is a sweetheart. He was
2:14
Speaker 1: just a doll. And so it was really wonderful to
2:17
Speaker 1: be able to be in that space and have people
2:19
Speaker 1: come donate their time to us and take care of people.
2:21
Speaker 1: And again the Newark folks shouts out to Newark because
2:24
Speaker 1: those are some good people.
2:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love Newark, man. You know, my father lived
2:28
Speaker 2: in Newark for many, many, many years. Oh yeah, I
2:30
Speaker 2: got a lot of family in Newark who thought them
2:31
Speaker 2: Kelvy's in Newark. But the interesting thing about Deontae, well
2:35
Speaker 2: two things. I feel like the Mental Health Expo is
2:38
Speaker 2: a is a safe space, right and I think it's
2:40
Speaker 2: more important now than ever for black people to create
2:44
Speaker 2: spaces where we can feel safe. Yes, where we can
2:46
Speaker 2: you know, experience joy and where we can be informed.
2:49
Speaker 1: Yes.
2:49
Speaker 2: And man, when you see Deontay Wilder sit on that
2:51
Speaker 2: stage and open up like this is the former heavyweight
2:55
Speaker 2: champion of the world literally knocks people out for a living.
2:58
Speaker 2: For him to open up and you know, talk about
3:01
Speaker 2: you know, his experiences and the things that he's been
3:03
Speaker 2: through and you know how hurt and betrayed you know,
3:06
Speaker 2: he's felt throughout his life, and how vulnerable he's how
3:09
Speaker 2: vulnerable he was. That was man that let a lot
3:12
Speaker 2: of people, that a lot a lot of people let
3:14
Speaker 2: their guard down.
3:14
Speaker 1: I think so, and I, you know, I was just
3:16
Speaker 1: so shocked by how open and transparent he was about
3:19
Speaker 1: who's hurt him in his life. I heard him talk
3:22
Speaker 1: about people who were close to him and his family,
3:24
Speaker 1: and you know, you can see the pain in his
3:26
Speaker 1: eyes about like having to walk through that terrain and
3:30
Speaker 1: kind of figure that stuff out. And he's not alone,
3:32
Speaker 1: right because I look at you all and what you've
3:34
Speaker 1: been able to achieve in your lives, and I would
3:36
Speaker 1: never speculate, but I can only imagine how difficult it
3:39
Speaker 1: would be to have the people who are closest to you.
3:43
Speaker 1: You know, people got their hands out. You know, I
3:44
Speaker 1: understand that, you know, some folks are struggling, but like
3:47
Speaker 1: people don't sometimes give their loved ones the opportunity to
3:52
Speaker 1: sort of own their power and be in their space
3:55
Speaker 1: without wanting something. I'm not saying people always do that,
3:58
Speaker 1: but I would imagine and that what you really want
4:01
Speaker 1: just be happy for me, you know what I'm saying, like,
4:03
Speaker 1: be happy for me and support me and lift me
4:06
Speaker 1: up and don't ask me for a whole bunch of stuff.
4:08
Speaker 1: I mean, I get it, people need help, and I
4:10
Speaker 1: think people like Deontay will probably are very open to
4:14
Speaker 1: helping folks. But it's just the idea that some folks
4:17
Speaker 1: don't get the opportunity to enjoy what they built because
4:21
Speaker 1: they're struggling with these things sort of pulling it there,
4:23
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, And that duality is has
4:26
Speaker 1: got to be hard. So I just really appreciate how
4:28
Speaker 1: transparent he was so people can understand, Like I've heard
4:31
Speaker 1: Mary J. Blige say this, just because we have a lot,
4:34
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, doesn't mean that we don't
4:35
Speaker 1: have struggles. And he was able to share that with people.
4:38
Speaker 3: And it's a big responsibility to come with having a lot,
4:41
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Like I don't live the
4:42
Speaker 3: same yas I used to. You know, I have more
4:45
Speaker 3: kids than I used to. You know, I have a
4:47
Speaker 3: whole nother life. You know that I'm working towards building
4:51
Speaker 3: and then a lot of times all people like Deonce
4:54
Speaker 3: and myself, yeah, you know, I guess you know, well,
4:56
Speaker 3: one it's just call me and ask how I'm yep,
5:00
Speaker 3: because I'm not always okay yep, you know what I mean.
5:02
Speaker 3: And although you know, I don't trust people enough to
5:04
Speaker 3: just open up.
5:05
Speaker 2: Ye.
5:05
Speaker 1: Also I don't really.
5:06
Speaker 3: Have a lot of people that's like, oh you good, yep,
5:08
Speaker 3: you are right, Oh you look down today?
5:10
Speaker 1: What's up? Like you know? Like that matters? Yes. And
5:13
Speaker 1: so when you say.
5:16
Speaker 3: It reminded you Saturday that black people are the most
5:20
Speaker 3: loving people. We are, we really are, and a lot
5:23
Speaker 3: of times were standing our own way of that too.
5:26
Speaker 1: That's such a good point. Like I love that you
5:29
Speaker 1: said sometimes you just want somebody to check on you.
5:32
Speaker 1: It can't always be that people like you all are
5:35
Speaker 1: out here in the public eye and everybody's eyes are
5:38
Speaker 1: focused on you, and the assumption is that you don't struggle,
5:42
Speaker 1: or that you don't have things that you worry about,
5:44
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Or you don't have things
5:45
Speaker 1: that you're trying to work through. And so the idea,
5:47
Speaker 1: particularly for us as sisters, the idea that we like
5:50
Speaker 1: are the back when I feel like Atlas, I was
5:52
Speaker 1: a classics miner in undergrad at Howard, like we got
5:56
Speaker 1: the world on our backs and we just kind of
5:58
Speaker 1: bent over and we're not you know what I mean.
6:02
Speaker 1: And I think what that feeds is this notion that
6:05
Speaker 1: we're not allowed to put stuff down and be vulnerable,
6:08
Speaker 1: allow ourselves to rest. Shouts out to the sister at
6:11
Speaker 1: the NAP Ministry where she talks about rest is resistance,
6:14
Speaker 1: and so I love that you brought up this point
6:17
Speaker 1: of taking care of yourself. You didn't say it in
6:19
Speaker 1: this way, but part of how you take care of
6:22
Speaker 1: yourself is you look for those spaces and look for
6:24
Speaker 1: those people who gonna check in on you. That's where
6:27
Speaker 1: you get to like let your hair down a little bit.
6:29
Speaker 1: That's where you get to not be just with the mess.
6:31
Speaker 1: And my news is real. I told you I was
6:33
Speaker 1: a fan.
6:33
Speaker 3: Thank you.
6:33
Speaker 1: You get to put that down like you deserve to
6:36
Speaker 1: put that down too. And I love watching you and
6:38
Speaker 1: your little boy, the oldest one on socials and it
6:41
Speaker 1: just tickles me because he's the life on He's adorable,
6:44
Speaker 1: but he needs to see mommy have some rest in
6:47
Speaker 1: peace too, because that teaches him how to treat the
6:49
Speaker 1: women in his life as he grows up. Yeah, yeah,
6:53
Speaker 1: you know.
6:53
Speaker 2: You mentioned how And recently Kamala Harris said losing the
6:58
Speaker 2: election caused her to grieve in a way that was
7:02
Speaker 2: similar to the way she grieved the loss of her mother.
7:05
Speaker 2: Can can you speak to what that might have meant
7:07
Speaker 2: from a clinical perspective, because.
7:09
Speaker 1: People act like they hear like what you mean, Like losing.
7:11
Speaker 2: The election felt like your mother died, Like as if
7:13
Speaker 2: the two couldn't both be you know, impactful to cause
7:17
Speaker 2: that level of grief.
7:17
Speaker 1: Yeah. When I think about grief, you know, people have
7:20
Speaker 1: different theories. There's seven stages of grief. There's five stages
7:23
Speaker 1: of grief. Grief is really just our way. Her and
7:25
Speaker 1: the actor I think his name was, Andrew Garfield play
7:28
Speaker 1: Spider Man say once that grief is just your way
7:31
Speaker 1: of expressing all the love that you have for someone
7:34
Speaker 1: that you didn't get to express when they were alive.
7:36
Speaker 1: And I was like, ooh, that's like hit me in
7:38
Speaker 1: the heart. And I think the idea of grief is
7:41
Speaker 1: really just processing loss, right. Loss is not just a
7:45
Speaker 1: human Loss can be anything. Loss can be a relationship,
7:48
Speaker 1: loss can be you know, losing a love. When I
7:51
Speaker 1: lost my mom, actually nineteen years ago to about a
7:54
Speaker 1: month ago, it was nineteen years and my sorority sister
7:58
Speaker 1: and my fellow hu By one day, I'm we'll meet
8:00
Speaker 1: that sister. I love big sister, General Kamala Harris. And
8:03
Speaker 1: I think if you think about what she put into
8:07
Speaker 1: one hundred and seven days, right when you think about
8:09
Speaker 1: what she had to endure, the things that she was
8:12
Speaker 1: not allowed to say, the ways in which she was
8:14
Speaker 1: not permitted to be her full self because she was
8:17
Speaker 1: running for office, you know, I think when you think
8:20
Speaker 1: about carrying all of that, that is heavy. And to
8:24
Speaker 1: go through all of that at the highest level on
8:27
Speaker 1: an international stage with all these eyes on you, and
8:30
Speaker 1: then to lose to who she lost to in the
8:33
Speaker 1: way that she lost. We're just gonna keep it real.
8:36
Speaker 1: That's heavy and that's hard. And so I can actually
8:39
Speaker 1: understand her grieving that because that's the chapter of her
8:43
Speaker 1: life that she was thrust into that maybe she wasn't
8:45
Speaker 1: expecting and she has to put that down. And so
8:48
Speaker 1: anytime you have to put something down like that, we
8:51
Speaker 1: should anticipate that that separation, that that void is going
8:56
Speaker 1: to be there. And that's what grief is. It is
8:58
Speaker 1: processing and making sense of what did I lose, how
9:02
Speaker 1: did I lose it? And what am I going to
9:04
Speaker 1: fill that space in my heart with now that that
9:07
Speaker 1: is going. So it makes total sense to me that
9:08
Speaker 1: she would say that, what.
9:11
Speaker 2: What a mental health What do you think?
9:14
Speaker 1: Oh?
9:15
Speaker 2: Do you think mental health initiatives are being adequately funded?
9:18
Speaker 2: Because I noticed this weekend, you know, we had the
9:20
Speaker 2: Mental Health Flexible, but I saw like, you know, two
9:22
Speaker 2: or three other events going on. I know, and that's
9:25
Speaker 2: great because you was World Mental Health theyre Friday Roger
9:27
Speaker 2: Pinson Aravant going on and what was the other ones?
9:29
Speaker 1: You went to? Project Healthy Minds had an event and
9:31
Speaker 1: I was at with Kate Spade for World Mental Health
9:33
Speaker 1: Day Women's Mental Health.
9:34
Speaker 2: Which I think is great that all these different events
9:36
Speaker 2: are happening. But do you think mental health initiatives are
9:38
Speaker 2: being adequately funded?
9:39
Speaker 1: No? Absolutely not, because you have too many people out
9:42
Speaker 1: there who don't have access to care. And what people
9:44
Speaker 1: will always argue is that it's money. Some of it
9:47
Speaker 1: is money, but some of it is we don't have
9:49
Speaker 1: enough providers who look like us. Right I'm talking about
9:52
Speaker 1: black folks right now? Are the people of color to
9:55
Speaker 1: allow people to look online or to get a recommendation
9:59
Speaker 1: and to know instantly that they're gonna sit down with
10:02
Speaker 1: somebody who gets them right. So we're not funded in
10:04
Speaker 1: terms of providers. We're not for you know, shar I'm
10:07
Speaker 1: always talking about the research. We don't have near enough
10:09
Speaker 1: money to do the research that needs to be done.
10:13
Speaker 1: You know, we just don't have enough facilities to take
10:16
Speaker 1: people in. And I think about impatient facilities for people
10:19
Speaker 1: who really need care, even if it's short term care
10:21
Speaker 1: or long term care, there are not enough facilities around.
10:24
Speaker 1: And then when you think about you know, one of
10:26
Speaker 1: the latest things is defunding of special education. Yes, right,
10:30
Speaker 1: and so those young people with behavioral health and educational needs,
10:36
Speaker 1: those young people are not gonna get what they need.
10:38
Speaker 1: So in so many ways, we don't have anywhere near
10:41
Speaker 1: enough funding going towards some of the most vulnerable populations.
10:45
Speaker 1: And when I say vulnerable, I'm not just talking about
10:47
Speaker 1: black folks. I'm not talking about race. I'm talking about
10:50
Speaker 1: different aspects like having a disability, like having a mental illness,
10:55
Speaker 1: having a severe and persistent mental illness, like Corey Minor
10:58
Speaker 1: Smith always talks about loving someone who might have schizophreny.
11:01
Speaker 1: I heard y'all earlier or you know, I said, you
11:05
Speaker 1: said it right, right, But you know, we don't have
11:11
Speaker 1: what we need to ensure. I also think about people
11:15
Speaker 1: who may have made a suicide attempt and have to
11:17
Speaker 1: be hospitalized, particularly young people. They're not enough beds to
11:21
Speaker 1: go around for those young folks to get what they need.
11:22
Speaker 1: So no, we absolutely don't have adequate funding for mental
11:25
Speaker 1: health initiatives.
11:28
Speaker 2: So what's your people do? Then? How do we get
11:29
Speaker 2: the money?
11:30
Speaker 1: I think, well, one thing I think people have to
11:33
Speaker 1: do is people have to people who have the means,
11:36
Speaker 1: even if all you have is five dollars five cent,
11:39
Speaker 1: you know. And I think about the Mental Wealth Alliance
11:41
Speaker 1: and what you set out to do with train, treat
11:44
Speaker 1: and teach. You want to get people the help that
11:47
Speaker 1: they need. But you can't do that if you don't
11:49
Speaker 1: have money. You don't have funding. So what I want
11:51
Speaker 1: people to do is to go to organizations like the
11:54
Speaker 1: Mental Wealth Alliance online, go to the website, go to
11:58
Speaker 1: the donate page, and give what you can. But it
12:00
Speaker 1: has to happen consistently. One thing we try to teach
12:03
Speaker 1: people is, you know, everybody loves coffee. I'm not gonna
12:06
Speaker 1: call no coffee company's name, because it's one that y'all
12:09
Speaker 1: like up here in New York. I don't like it,
12:10
Speaker 1: but I ain't gonna say not gonna want to beat
12:12
Speaker 1: me up. But instead of having coffee five days a week,
12:16
Speaker 1: skip one of them five dollar coffees and take that
12:18
Speaker 1: money and donate it to an organization like the Mental
12:20
Speaker 1: Wealth Alliance who's putting in the work. I think it's
12:23
Speaker 1: also about advocacy. We have to have people out here
12:26
Speaker 1: who are writing to their you know, representatives at the local, regional, state,
12:31
Speaker 1: and federal level and saying we need you to invest
12:35
Speaker 1: in our young people, in older people in our communities
12:39
Speaker 1: to support. And then the final thing is, you know,
12:42
Speaker 1: when I think about youth and adolescent mental health, only
12:46
Speaker 1: about one and a half to two percent of all
12:49
Speaker 1: funding that goes to everything in the nonprofit space goes
12:52
Speaker 1: to their mental health. Funding for mental health overall is
12:55
Speaker 1: a very small percentage of where money goes because of stigma.
12:59
Speaker 1: So I think part of it is with what we
13:01
Speaker 1: do with the Mental Health Alliance and similar organizations. The
13:04
Speaker 1: goal is to help people understand. I heard somebody say
13:07
Speaker 1: the other day, if you break your leg, you have diabetes,
13:11
Speaker 1: God forbid. If you have you know, hopefully it's a
13:13
Speaker 1: benign tumor. If you have something that's impacting you. You
13:16
Speaker 1: don't ask to wait, or you're not asked to wait
13:19
Speaker 1: to get that treated. It's the same thing with mental health.
13:22
Speaker 1: We shouldn't ask people to put off taking care of
13:24
Speaker 1: their mental health because there's not access, there's not money,
13:27
Speaker 1: there's not availability of providers. And so if each of
13:30
Speaker 1: us can do just a little bit right, and part
13:32
Speaker 1: of my mission with the work that I do is
13:35
Speaker 1: to try to put money in organizations to help them
13:40
Speaker 1: get the resources that they need to do the work.
13:43
Speaker 1: But it can't be one person, it can't be just
13:45
Speaker 1: a few people. It takes all of us.
13:49
Speaker 2: You talked about the youth. You wrote something called the
13:52
Speaker 2: State of Mental Health for Youth and Young Adults twenty
13:54
Speaker 2: twenty five sport. What was that about?
13:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, so the State of Mental Health of Youth and
13:58
Speaker 1: Young Adults for twenty twenty five is is a second
14:01
Speaker 1: iteration of a study. I am a researcher at heart.
14:04
Speaker 1: My deepest belief is that every young person deserves to
14:08
Speaker 1: feel seen, heard in value. When I say young people,
14:10
Speaker 1: and I'm basically talk about anybody under thirty, because I'm old,
14:13
Speaker 1: I'm gen X. And with our work, what we try
14:17
Speaker 1: to do is we're trying to fill in a gap. Right,
14:19
Speaker 1: So people will say, well, why you're only focus on
14:20
Speaker 1: young people of color, Well, primarily because most of the
14:24
Speaker 1: data that's out there, we're represented but in these tiny
14:27
Speaker 1: little bits. So it's really hard to talk about what's
14:31
Speaker 1: going on with black youth, what's going on with Asian youth,
14:33
Speaker 1: what's going on with Native Hawaiian or Latino Latina youth,
14:37
Speaker 1: or you know, what's going on with the or Native
14:38
Speaker 1: American youth. We're in Indigenous people's day, but we don't
14:41
Speaker 1: know enough about young people in these communities about their
14:44
Speaker 1: mental health, what takes away from their mental health, what
14:47
Speaker 1: do their symptoms look like, What kind of supports do
14:50
Speaker 1: they have available to them that have nothing to do
14:52
Speaker 1: with going to mental health care? What other kind of
14:54
Speaker 1: support do you have. If we don't ask, we don't know.
14:58
Speaker 1: If we don't know, we can't find solutions to help
15:01
Speaker 1: our young people. So our goal is to fill that
15:04
Speaker 1: gap and to make sure that we're bringing in data
15:07
Speaker 1: from all different kinds of young people, including right, because
15:10
Speaker 1: when we talk about young people of color, we're also
15:13
Speaker 1: talking about all of their identities, right, So whether they
15:16
Speaker 1: have a disability or not whether they might be lesbian, transgender,
15:21
Speaker 1: you know, non gender conforming part of the LGBTQAI plus community.
15:25
Speaker 1: We want to know what all of their experiences are
15:27
Speaker 1: like because all of us, as doctor David John says,
15:30
Speaker 1: all of us got a rise together. When I'm talking
15:32
Speaker 1: about black people, I'm talking about all of us. So
15:35
Speaker 1: our data was designed this year. We had close to
15:37
Speaker 1: nine thousand people young people participating in our survey. It
15:40
Speaker 1: was fantastic, thank you, and we learned a lot. We
15:43
Speaker 1: learned about what kind of supports do they have. A
15:46
Speaker 1: lot of our young people still go to their peers,
15:48
Speaker 1: their friends, and their family members as a first line
15:51
Speaker 1: of defense. We learned about what through different signs and
15:55
Speaker 1: symptoms look like. We learned things like over fifty percent
15:58
Speaker 1: of the young people in our survey experience symptoms regularly
16:03
Speaker 1: experience moderate to severe symptoms of depression, moderate to severe
16:08
Speaker 1: symptoms of anxiety. Our young people are dealing with racial trauma.
16:12
Speaker 1: So what we're trying to do with the e Comma
16:14
Speaker 1: Project and with this study is put information out there
16:17
Speaker 1: that everybody can digest. So I encourage people to go
16:19
Speaker 1: to our website at a COMA Project Research briefs, plain language.
16:23
Speaker 1: Anybody can understand it. We have beautiful graphics and we
16:26
Speaker 1: have infographics so you can see, for people of your
16:29
Speaker 1: racial ethnic group, how does what you're struggling with align
16:33
Speaker 1: with what other people of different ethnic groups are struggling with.
16:36
Speaker 1: And the goal is for any young person, like your
16:39
Speaker 1: little boy or like you're young ladies, for anybody or
16:43
Speaker 1: my kids to be able to go to a website
16:45
Speaker 1: and say, oh, I'm not alone. There are other people
16:48
Speaker 1: who are dealing with this stuff too. So that's what
16:50
Speaker 1: that's about.
16:51
Speaker 2: Speaking of being a loan one thing that I find
16:52
Speaker 2: interested in this study is you said you found that
16:55
Speaker 2: young people find themselves negatively impacted by epic levels of
16:59
Speaker 2: loans and isolation. Yes, that was so interesting to me
17:03
Speaker 2: because we live in this world where everybody seems so connected.
17:06
Speaker 1: Yes, you got all of these meaningless connections with us.
17:09
Speaker 1: What it is, that's one hundred percent what it is.
17:11
Speaker 1: It is the illusion of connection, right. The idea is,
17:15
Speaker 1: think about how we interact so many of us. I
17:18
Speaker 1: was yesterday when I was with my kids. We were
17:19
Speaker 1: at brunch at this really wonderful place, and at one
17:22
Speaker 1: point I look up and everybody's heads in their phone, right,
17:26
Speaker 1: So you're at the table together, but you're not interacting
17:28
Speaker 1: with each other. So I'm not knocking it. I'm just
17:32
Speaker 1: saying that these are the kind of spaces that young
17:34
Speaker 1: people are coming up in. When I'm out and about,
17:36
Speaker 1: Like yesterday was the Hispanic Latino Heritage Parade. I saw
17:40
Speaker 1: so many little babies and strollers looking at devices. Yeah,
17:44
Speaker 1: looking at tablets. I mean I did it too, Like
17:47
Speaker 1: sometimes you just want to, like you need some pieces,
17:49
Speaker 1: so you get a baby to think so they're focused.
17:51
Speaker 1: But I think it does create the illusion. I think
17:54
Speaker 1: the other thing is fear of missing out. Everybody talks
17:56
Speaker 1: about foam moll So you see people online, you know,
18:00
Speaker 1: and I always tell people you got to remember that
18:02
Speaker 1: stuff is curated. They're picking the best bits. They're not
18:05
Speaker 1: showing you how lonely they were ten minutes before. They
18:08
Speaker 1: just got themselves together, put on a whole bunch of makeup,
18:10
Speaker 1: they got their gear tight and went to that party.
18:13
Speaker 1: And maybe the whole time they were at that party,
18:15
Speaker 1: when they weren't taking pictures, they were standing in the
18:17
Speaker 1: corner by themselves on the phone or on the phone, right,
18:20
Speaker 1: And so like the loneliness epidemic I think comes from
18:24
Speaker 1: a number of different spaces. I think too many of
18:26
Speaker 1: our young people don't are not taught, think about the
18:30
Speaker 1: pandemic when they lost the opportunity to learn the skills
18:33
Speaker 1: that we learned. I've heard you talk about your educational experience.
18:36
Speaker 1: I grew up like that too. You lose the opportunity
18:40
Speaker 1: to be in community physically, to learn how to go
18:43
Speaker 1: sit down with somebody at the lunch table, how to
18:45
Speaker 1: start a conversation, how to read social cues and know
18:48
Speaker 1: when it's time to back up, do you know what
18:49
Speaker 1: I mean? How to deal with conflict. And if you
18:52
Speaker 1: don't learn those skills, I think what a lot of
18:54
Speaker 1: us do, of any age, is we shrink, We don't try,
18:58
Speaker 1: and that contributes to the loneliness epidemic as well. So
19:01
Speaker 1: we're looking at all these people doing all this cool stuff,
19:03
Speaker 1: and we're thinking to ourselves, I must not be cool
19:06
Speaker 1: because I'm not doing this stuff, you know what I mean?
19:08
Speaker 1: And so all of those kinds of things really make
19:10
Speaker 1: it hard for our young people to sort of get
19:13
Speaker 1: themselves out of being isolated and stuck, and that loneliness
19:17
Speaker 1: just kind of sets.
19:18
Speaker 3: In, and young people also feel like everything's supposed to happen.
19:23
Speaker 3: Right now, everything is microwave where everything is instant, you know,
19:26
Speaker 3: hence Instagram. Everything is just supposed to happen. And honestly,
19:31
Speaker 3: people lose their confidence, you know, when they feel like
19:35
Speaker 3: they can't keep up with their favorite stream or their
19:38
Speaker 3: favorite influencer. You know that That's something that I'm still
19:41
Speaker 3: trying to figure out how to not keep away from
19:44
Speaker 3: my son, but like curated in a way where it's like, yo,
19:48
Speaker 3: you picked us up when you just don't have nothing
19:50
Speaker 3: to do, you know other than that go throw a
19:51
Speaker 3: ball side because he loves football and he used to
19:54
Speaker 3: love being online with me a lot more, but as
19:57
Speaker 3: he grew up, he was like, nah, I'm but I that,
20:00
Speaker 3: like he don't always be trying to, you know, be online,
20:03
Speaker 3: figure out what the latest trend is or you know,
20:06
Speaker 3: rage baking.
20:07
Speaker 1: All that stuff is.
20:08
Speaker 3: The Internet is like a gift in a curse, you know, yes,
20:11
Speaker 3: but nowadays it just feels like more of a curse.
20:14
Speaker 3: So I'm just trying to figure out ways where I
20:15
Speaker 3: can keep him from it.
20:17
Speaker 1: But I feel like, but what you've described lets me know,
20:21
Speaker 1: as a person who works with parents and families in
20:23
Speaker 1: the past, did something right right because the fact that
20:27
Speaker 1: he feels comfortable pulling away from it and communicating to you, now,
20:31
Speaker 1: I'm good, I don't want to do that, and you
20:33
Speaker 1: accept that and receive that because you know a lot
20:36
Speaker 1: of folks out here. I have seen all these documentaries
20:38
Speaker 1: they're forcing these kids all the time. The kid is
20:41
Speaker 1: the content, you know what I'm saying, And so the
20:43
Speaker 1: kid is the money maker. And so you know, whatever
20:46
Speaker 1: you're doing, lean into that more because you're doing something right.
20:50
Speaker 1: And I bet I'm not to put you on the spot,
20:52
Speaker 1: but I bet at some point if you share with
20:54
Speaker 1: people here's how I've approached this with my child, You're
20:58
Speaker 1: giving them ideas because a lot people struggle with that
21:01
Speaker 1: they don't know. And one of the things we did,
21:03
Speaker 1: which I got, I'm gonna be honest from this. Back
21:05
Speaker 1: when Oprah had still had a show, I watched Brocko
21:08
Speaker 1: Michelle Obama talk about screen time and how they limited
21:11
Speaker 1: and that was the first time I'd ever heard that.
21:13
Speaker 1: And their thing that they said was during the week,
21:16
Speaker 1: no screens, And me and my husband we were like,
21:18
Speaker 1: what what you mean no screens? How you do that?
21:21
Speaker 1: But we did it, and both of our kids ended
21:23
Speaker 1: up being class valedictorians. So it's like you, you talked
21:26
Speaker 1: about how smart you were and how well you did
21:28
Speaker 1: in school. So I think there's something to be said
21:30
Speaker 1: for when you hear these great ideas from people, figure
21:34
Speaker 1: out what might work for your family. Maybe you have
21:36
Speaker 1: to tweak it, but I think it really is about
21:39
Speaker 1: being active consumers and being active, like you're saying, managers
21:44
Speaker 1: of what happens with social media and those screens with
21:47
Speaker 1: our children, we cannot leave it to them to figure
21:50
Speaker 1: it out. It's our job as caregivers to help them
21:53
Speaker 1: navigate it. We do that in our house.
21:54
Speaker 2: No screens during the weeks and on the weekend you
21:57
Speaker 2: get a certain amount of it should be like.
22:00
Speaker 1: A treat it is.
22:02
Speaker 2: Yeah, people to me, you use it as a like
22:04
Speaker 2: a tool to keep the babies occupying. Yeah.
22:07
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna tell you one thing Jason Wilson told
22:09
Speaker 1: me over the weekend. I never heard of it. Have
22:11
Speaker 1: y'all heard of this thing? The brick break your phone?
22:15
Speaker 1: So okay, I'll tell you real quickly. It's a little device.
22:18
Speaker 1: You you know, the device stays in your home in
22:21
Speaker 1: one location. You set the device. I'm being really crude
22:25
Speaker 1: with it where certain apps you disable them with the bricks.
22:29
Speaker 1: So it's like you touch your phone to the brick
22:31
Speaker 1: and those apps are disabled. So maybe like Instagram or
22:34
Speaker 1: TikTok or something like that, right then you leave, when
22:37
Speaker 1: you leave the house, the only way you can re
22:39
Speaker 1: engage those is by touching the brick. That so if
22:42
Speaker 1: you're gone, you can't engage with the app because that
22:46
Speaker 1: makes it it's locked. You're locked out of it essentially.
22:48
Speaker 1: And he told me that. I was like, oh, I
22:50
Speaker 1: love that because it reduces the temptation that like, yeah,
22:53
Speaker 1: break your phone, it reduces the temptation to turn it
22:56
Speaker 1: back on. I thought that was fantastic. I don't have
22:58
Speaker 1: to try that. Yeah, even even for me, I need that. Yeah,
23:01
Speaker 1: I need that on the phone.
23:04
Speaker 3: You ever be scrolling and you like, all right, I'm
23:06
Speaker 3: gonna just it'll be four forty four. YEA gonna do
23:08
Speaker 3: this till five o'clock. You look up and it's six o'clocks.
23:11
Speaker 3: It's like, yo, I could have done so much in
23:13
Speaker 3: that hour, Yes, and you don't even realize.
23:16
Speaker 1: No, No, I did it. This morning. I was getting
23:18
Speaker 1: ready to get over here, and I looked up. I
23:20
Speaker 1: said ok, I gotta get dress because I gotta get
23:22
Speaker 1: in the car because I won't be late. I looked
23:24
Speaker 1: up forty five minutes to pass, and I'm like, oh God,
23:27
Speaker 1: I gotta get all this stuff together right, and you
23:29
Speaker 1: just lose track of time. So it happens to the
23:31
Speaker 1: best of us. So something like that that forces you
23:34
Speaker 1: love that.
23:34
Speaker 3: Now.
23:34
Speaker 1: I know I would struggling a little bit because I'd
23:36
Speaker 1: be hot. But how you turn this thing off? I
23:38
Speaker 1: need an emergency off switch. But it would help me
23:40
Speaker 1: because it would we trained, you know, help me. We
23:43
Speaker 1: train my mind and my behaviors. I don't need to
23:46
Speaker 1: be on IG all the time. You know I can
23:48
Speaker 1: put I'm not a big TikTok fan, but you know
23:50
Speaker 1: I can do something other than sit here and stare
23:52
Speaker 1: at this phone and screw them all day.
23:54
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, get bricked dot after the site, Uh doctor,
23:57
Speaker 2: if you tell them how they can support the COMA
23:59
Speaker 2: project and Mental Wealth Alliance.
24:01
Speaker 1: Okay, Mental Wealth Alliance. You're gonna go to Mental Wealth
24:03
Speaker 1: Alliance all one word dot org. You're gonna get on
24:07
Speaker 1: that page. You're gonna look for to donate, but and
24:09
Speaker 1: you're gonna click donate and you're gonna give the Mental
24:11
Speaker 1: Wealth Alliance some money or the a Coma Project a
24:14
Speaker 1: A k IS and kite o m A project all
24:18
Speaker 1: one word. You can do that go there and donate
24:20
Speaker 1: to just check out the resources that we have there.
24:23
Speaker 1: You can follow obviously Charlemagne and the guys so you
24:25
Speaker 1: can learn more about the Mental Wealth Alliance or follow
24:28
Speaker 1: me doctor Alfie d R A L f I EE
24:32
Speaker 1: on all socials like everywhere, and uh, we hope you'll
24:36
Speaker 1: go donate to the Mental Wealth, the Mental Wealth Alliance.
24:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's interesting. People always ask me, you know, Charlotmage,
24:41
Speaker 2: how are you able to do you know, so many
24:43
Speaker 2: different things, and always say because you have to have
24:45
Speaker 2: a great team. And you know, doctor Alfre Breeland Noble,
24:48
Speaker 2: she runs the Mental Wealth Alliance, she runs the Your
24:50
Speaker 2: Coma Project, and she you know, helps put together the
24:53
Speaker 2: Mental Wealth Expert every year along with iHeart and you
24:56
Speaker 2: know everybody else. So thank you, Doc Daalfi.
24:58
Speaker 1: You're welcome and shouts out to all the folks. iHeart
25:01
Speaker 1: to you and everybody in New Jersey Institute of Technology.
25:04
Speaker 1: That was a lot of work and I just really
25:06
Speaker 1: appreciate everybody who put their time and effort in and
25:08
Speaker 1: I got to shout out the kind people in Newark
25:11
Speaker 1: for coming. We really appreciate y'all.
25:12
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you, doctor Alfrey.
25:15
Speaker 1: It's the Breakfast Club, Wake that ass up in the morning.
25:18
Speaker 1: Breakfast Club,