Latest / Aging Parent TrapX / The REAL Cost of Assisted Living
Transcript
- Nikki Flynn: But six thousand a month, holy smokes. That's insane. Allison: Mm-hmm. That's Is it? I don't know. Nikki Flynn: And I Allison: welcome to the Aging Parent Trap X ⁓ YouTube channel and podcast. I am Alison Newland, I'm a broker of Platinum Properties of Florida in Greater Tampa area, ⁓ and I am with my two friends and colleagues, ⁓ Nikki Flynn with Elite Preparation Services ⁓ and Julie Cook with Generational Transitions, and today. We are talking about the real cost senior facilities. ⁓ And there's different types of living facilities for seniors, you know, independent, assistant, memory care, and the prices can vary ⁓ care, by And we're gonna just dig deep into that. Nikki, you were on a tear second ago. ⁓ You were I mean just Julie Cook: Yeah. Allison: I I I mean people need to know things about cost of care and and we're gonna talk in general terms here because it can vary, ⁓ let's let's just talk about like the scariness part of ⁓ it that you were just mentioning. Nikki Flynn: Yeah, it's it's an unfortunate part because families don't know what to do. And this is kind of the norm, like, ⁓ mom and dad need help. Okay, well, we can't take on the responsibility, so let's look at nursing homes. And there's so many other or any other level care of homes, assistive livings that they're needing. And the families just don't know what to do as far as the options, what they have available at their fingertips. And because it's kind of like the wild, wild west when it comes to that, because The misconception is ⁓ we have insurance, it's okay. No, it's not okay. It is a private fund that you have to do, even if you have long-term care insurance, it's still kind of like having just a separate bank account that pays for that extra care with a little bit of guidelines, but they still have the ability and the flexibility to charge whatever it is that they're wanting for the care or for the facility. And so they get to bill at astronomical prices. And say that they have nurses paying and taking care of you when it's actually the CNAs that are taking care of them. And it's not something that can be regulated. This is why we've got so much fraud and nonsense going on. Because unfortunately, we are trying to do the best that we possibly can for our family members. We want them to be happy and comfortable. And we think that we're doing the right thing by putting them into these facilities. And sometimes Some of them are fantastic. They're amazing. You're going to pay for that. Those are the ones that are going to be really expensive. And those are like the Cadillacs of facilities. You get what you pay for. The other ones are go ahead. You had something to say? Allison: Uh-huh. Well, I mean I got you going because I said what ⁓ w what we pay, which is about sixty one hundred dollars a month, for a s l four hundred square foot studio ⁓ for my mom in the Greater Tampa area, north of Tampa, so not ⁓ Tampa, but north of Tampa in Pascoe County, ⁓ Florida. And she all of her meals. She's considered two ⁓ care there, I think she's probably a little bit needs a little bit more care, but she needs help getting dressed, she feed herself, ⁓ but know, she needs some personal hygiene assistance and getting out of bed and getting into bed and that kind of stuff. and she uses walker, but ⁓ she tells me the care, ⁓ you know, it forever for someone to come ⁓ when she pushes button. ⁓ And this is nice facility. I mean it's a nice facility and my in-laws are there as well. Which is part of the reason that she went there, kinda took off a little bit of the were there first in a independent care part portion the the building, which many ⁓ Julie will you, ⁓ many places You start like at independent and then you transition to assistant and ⁓ you don't to go to memory care. But ⁓ anyways, we thought was good, but she'll tell me all the time it's not great. It's not great. You know, ⁓ they don't come, they don't ⁓ help, they're they have an attitude, whatever. So what you are saying is yes, they have one nurse ⁓ then they have these other ⁓ that come by and do things, but spread so thin. ⁓ And can't you get tour, ⁓ Julie, and not they're showing you on the tour, ⁓ right? Nikki Flynn: Mm-hmm. ⁓ yeah, no. Julie Cook: So I think the thing to to take into consideration and and this is why, small plug, it's important to have a professional help you with these decisions, is because the tour is going to be the best of the best. We're gonna show you everything that's great about our community, like anybody would when they're selling something, right? ⁓ you need to consider is ⁓ is gonna be perfect. ⁓ Allison: Mm-hmm. Julie Cook: The difference between an assisted living community and a home health option is you have that care, you have that assistance 24-7. So when you look at home health, oftentimes it is for a set amount of hours on certain days. That's great. That's wonderful. But what if you need, for instance, you mentioned your mom and a lot of people have that, they need assistance with bathing. Maybe they need assistance getting to the restroom. Well, if you need to get to the restroom and it's two o'clock in the morning and you're at home, now you're in a bad situation. other thing to consider, just really quick, when we talk about pricing, is there are communities that charge ⁓ level of care. ⁓ it's based on a point system to determine what level. So you have a base rate ⁓ then they add levels of care. You have other communities where it's all inclusive. ⁓ regardless of the care you need, here's the rate that you're gonna pay. So Allison: Right. Julie Cook: Lots of things to consider. It's not like you just go in and here's the rate and it's a done deal. There's oftentimes there's negotiations that can happen. A lot of things to consider when we talk about the pricing of those of those places. Allison: So but we can all agree that independent care is gonna be the least expensive of the care options, right? And least if they're not living at home. I mean the home health care option, which is not something I kind penciled out to to discuss, ⁓ but should, is that I've ⁓ my did that for a little while. Julie Cook: Sure. Sure. Yeah. Allison: And it was just for a certain number of hours. And the person just literally like sat in the living room them, didn't ⁓ anything except for make sure they didn't like ⁓ up and fall or ⁓ their responsibility wasn't to also help do ⁓ It just simply to be present. And I feel like it was expensive. ⁓ I I I think was less than a hundred dollars, ⁓ you know, hour, but was definitely if it went thirty to fifty, ⁓ know, dollars an hour, it was a lot. Julie Cook: those are all the things that you've got to take into consideration. That's why I like that we're including home health in the conversation ⁓ when you have a Gen Xer who's trying to ⁓ all this for their loved ones, that's a very valid, ⁓ know, is this an option before we look at at ⁓ the family home and moving mom and dad to a community? The nice thing about a community, and this is what I tell all of my clients, is it's the independence that you want because everybody wants to be independent. They want to do their own thing, but with assistance when you need it. So you don't have someone on top of you 24-7, but if you need someone, they're available. Now, like you mentioned, your mom hits the hits the call button and she's waiting. Unfortunately, sometimes there's staffing issues, there could be a wide variety. That's why I think it's important for folks to know nothing is perfect. You're gonna get the tour, you're gonna see the grand everything. But it's important to talk. When you take a tour, talk to the people who are there that live there. They'll tell you what they think about the food, about the service. They'll be honest with you. So get those opinions so that you can make an informed choice. Allison: Well, I don't think anybody particularly likes having to leave their home and go into the facility and especially if they don't have a partner going with them. I think that makes it a hundred times more difficult. ⁓ because my mom went by herself, in laws went together and even though there's bickering and blah blah blah, ⁓ were in it together. so, you be i it Julie Cook: Sure. Allison: It's like one time my mom said, Well, I should think about it like going to college. ⁓ I'm going to a dormitory and I get to meet new people. I thought that was a good analogy. I wish she really would have taken that to heart. ⁓ but she ⁓ Julie Cook: That's a great analogy because you're meeting new people. You've got all these activities and and that approach is is so good. You know, that this is this is a new season and it's said before, moving ⁓ you're in your thirties, forties, fifties is daunting. ⁓ when you're in your seventies, eighties is just flat out scary. And so that all has to be, you can't ⁓ I don't think we can sugarcoat that. And then moving when you don't really want to, have to just be real and say, I know this isn't ideal. But but an approach like that, like your mom said, Hey, ⁓ is a new opportunity. I'm gonna meet new people. There's gonna be stuff there for me to do, ⁓ perspective helps. Allison: So the so independent so independent living is definitely less. If you're going with a partner, I think you really save much money ⁓ on instance, happen to know ⁓ that ⁓ all so so many factors, right? ⁓ How many the size of the unit, ⁓ all right, location, not location of the ⁓ unit, but the location the facility. ⁓ if you're somewhere rural, then it's gonna be less expensive than if you were in, you know, some higher priced city. And what offer in terms ⁓ of activities and and and of that, ⁓ all those things play part in the cost and ⁓ like my in-laws, I think were when they were in the independent for two of them It was like eighty two hundred for a two bedroom, two bath, right? 'Cause they went from not a big home, but maybe twenty eight hundred square feet, you know, s sizable enough ⁓ bedrooms, two baths, you know, I would say maybe twelve hundred square feet, pretty big for I think ⁓ living. ⁓ a you know, a living room and a full a full kitchen. Julie Cook: Yeah. Allison: And it sadly only lasted about a year and a half or so. And I don't know what they they pay now. but I know it had to go up. You know, they downsized a little bit, but ⁓ there's no kitchen and the assistant living. ⁓ I mean, ⁓ these numbers, you know, my mom is at sixty one for a small studio for assistant. they at eighty two. ⁓ So just say half of let's say f ⁓ for it was be four thousand for ⁓ for one person. Right, for independent in the greater Tampa area north. memory care, I really don't have much of an idea. ⁓ sure one you guys might ⁓ know than I would know about that in terms of the experiences you've had. Nikki, ⁓ I mean what do you I what's memory care? ⁓ What's a for memory care? Nikki Flynn: Well, that's a around the clock care because it's it's basically considered a safety measure for them. ⁓ so it's I I'm sure, Julie, you can probably confirm it's probably in the 10 to 12,000 per month. Allison: Mm-hmm. Julie Cook: It it very much can go to that easily. There are, and again, we've talked about the the type of community, the type of care. and so it doesn't have to be that expensive. ⁓ can do memory care for maybe five. but lot of it depends ⁓ on type of community and the type of care. ⁓ So where again you've got such Nikki talked about it initially, you've got such a broad range of of communities, the type of room. Sometimes it's even different pricing based on do you want a first floor room? Do you want a room that's higher up? many factors to consider. But yeah, absolutely. Memory care can run 10,000 plus a easily. Allison: Right, because they have like a higher staff to resident ratio, right? So that's gonna Nikki Flynn: Yeah, on the on the legal point on the legal aspect of that, ⁓ they put it on a range of the level of ⁓ you're at in your dementia stage. So it's it's gonna be on a a level from one to ten. And then anything over like a four or a five, four or five is like, okay, now we're to dress ourselves, we're forgetting to bathe, we can't ⁓ remember eat on a daily basis. When you start getting six, seven. You've forgotten how to swallow, forgotten how to chew. You have to be restrained because you're pulling your feeding tube out. it it's it's a lot different. It's constant monitored care, ⁓ on what the wishes are of the person. ⁓ they want to be kept alive under any circumstance, which means put me in a feeding tube, four-point restraints, keep giving me my medicine. I ⁓ are essentially a locked inside of your own body at that point. You don't know who people are. Allison: ⁓ my gosh. Nikki Flynn: you can't remember to to chew or swallow. You don't remember how. ⁓ at that point you're a very severe case. so it just it's based on that level of where you're at. ⁓ and some ⁓ Allison: So you would want to have that legal paperwork in place to give the directives to not continue with feeding tube, for instance. So always always back to, you know, for even just not even just preparing for how are gonna pay for it, but ⁓ what kind of care really want when you have ⁓ mental capacity Nikki Flynn: Mm-hmm. Allison: To make those decisions versus when you don't have my gosh, I don't like to scare people at all by any means. But these are serious things that we have think about having discussions with our our parents I you know, I'm in the fact that my mom does have that paperwork all situate it, I believe. I I asked Nikki. earlier full disclosure, I was like, I think I want you to take a look at something for me. I want to make sure that I've got we're talking about it all the time and then I'll wake up in the middle of the night and go, Do I have it all right? And I actually need stuff for myself too. It's my gosh. ⁓ giving my s I need to listen to the podcast over and make sure that ⁓ taking ⁓ your advice, ladies, I swear. ⁓ goodness. Nikki Flynn: Yes. Allison: Well, some of the other things I wanna point out obviously what is included in the care, meals, housekeeping, transportation to medical appointments, right? That's a big thing 'cause if your family lives far away and facilities have the ⁓ well, I many times it's common that have the medical like a doctor available the residents there, not like a doctor that lives there, but they come and do rounds ⁓ weekly or whatever and so you're kind of on a schedule so you don't have to leave the facility to go to the doctor, which is so nice. I find that so nice. But then if you need a specialist, you can hop in the van and they'll take you to your appointment. I think that's a huge benefit. It saves me a lot of time. being said, not all specialists are within the radius that the facility will take them to, ⁓ know, and I spent five hours the other day taking my mom to an appointment in Newport Ritchie, which is you know, to get her and Lando Lakes and then go over to Newport Richie. And if you're not familiar with the greater Tampa Bay area, yeah a you know, ⁓ five for a a ⁓ one appointment ⁓ for getting taking her, ⁓ taking back, getting her out, you know, the whole thing. ⁓ So that transportation for ⁓ for other doctors' appointments is so important when you're looking at a facility. ⁓ and your ⁓ utilities and stuff like that too, is that included? Julie Cook: And that's one thing to to think about. Yeah. Yeah. So that's one thing to think about when we talk about cost is what's included. Because you hear these numbers and you're like, my gosh. ⁓ think about what your expenses, expenses are on a monthly basis. ⁓ Grocery, all of that. ⁓ So you add that up, then it becomes ⁓ still I'm not ⁓ even down from that, but ⁓ more Nikki Flynn: You know. Allison: Right. Julie Cook: To understand why all of these expenses. ⁓ the other thing is yes, primary cares come to communities, but oftentimes specialists do too. I'll run into seniors who are like, I don't want to take the transportation, I just want to stay here. They'll come see me. And so that makes it a little bit easier too. If you have a loved one who doesn't want to get out, or maybe physically getting out is just really challenging, they could see a doctor right in their community. Allison: Uh-huh. Nikki Flynn: I want to touch on just one thing really quick. ⁓ I'm putting on my healthcare agent hat right now. And just in case we have anybody watching that the family is not ready to go into a facility, when you are talking about Medicare plans, Medicare plans do cover some of these topics. You can put them on a special needs plan that does take care of transportation for them. They are given allotted amounts of transportations to and from. Allison: Uh-huh. Nikki Flynn: They are given grocery allowances for some of their plans as well, over-the-counter benefits for some of the plans as well, depending on what medical conditions they have, they can qualify for certain special needs plans that kind of go along with the things. So if we're talking about someone who is looking at their parents, going, you know what, we're not ready to like actually look at a facility yet, but we're kind of in that in-between stage. If they don't have a Medicare agent, Reach out to somebody. And that's the important part of working with an independent broker is that they will look at all the plans. They're not just inclusive with one specific carrier. They'll look at all the plans and you say, okay, my mom has diabetes. Okay, let's look at a special needs plan that has diabetes. She gets this much transportation. So that's a weight off of your shoulders. You don't have to do that. And they'll give you the transportation to and for sometimes it's 24 trips, so 12 round trips. two appointments for them. They'll give them an allowed amount of groceries per month. They'll give an allowed amount of over-the-counter benefits that they get quarterly or yearly, where they get it on a flex card. And they can buy their, you know, if they need depends, they need over-the-counter medicines, stuff like that. Allison: So can they do that while they're in a facility? They can do that while they're so they just need to talk to so now Mickey, aren't you transitioning to have those services available ⁓ as well? Nikki Flynn: Of course. ⁓ yeah, I've been I've been a licensed Medicare agent for the past almost three years now. So yeah. Allison: Okay. So so that ⁓ that's something else that Nikki can h help people with. Okay. I I love that because yeah, no Nikki, gonna get some business from me, I swear. ⁓ Okay. ⁓ yeah, gonna ⁓ Nikki Flynn: It takes ⁓ it takes a village to take care of our loved ones and it's all about having the proper information. And that's why we're doing this. We're doing this to help educate people, to let them know there are things available at your fingertips and Medicare is the most talked about thing when it comes to, ⁓ I'm getting ready to retire, I gotta pick my Medicare plan, but nobody goes that extra mile to actually educate them. That's why there are some people, some agents and brokers that will do like Medicare 101s, but there are so many things that people don't understand about what's available to them. that's ⁓ it's free. It's part of you enrolling. You get those options. Allison: See see, I love that you mentioned that because I just literally because I I ⁓ ordered my mom said I need more depends, right? I that's fifty bucks on Amazon, right, to have that delivered to her. So if that's something that we can I'm trying to mitigate her expenses. know, we're g we're at a very tight ⁓ at a very fine line of her income versus her expenses right now. And Nikki Flynn: Mm-hmm. Allison: You know, I can sell houses all day long. I can help people with their housing needs all day long. I can help you, you know, with your mom's house, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna sell it? Do you want to rent it? I can help you, know, organize those thoughts and those decisions, ⁓ I can be that unbiased third third third party. But when you're in it, and medical stuff, the ⁓ the stuff, I don't know anything about that. That's why I got this group of people together because you know, Julie can help you find ⁓ the ⁓ facility for your senior. ⁓ and Nikki, she's got a whole bag of tricks, ⁓ my goodness, with her with document preparation and an enrolled agent. so you know you need help ⁓ with any of these ⁓ these things we've talked about today, ⁓ go ahead look at the description below. Our contact information is there. If you're listening to this on a podcast, our link to the YouTube channel with that description ⁓ is in ⁓ Nikki Flynn: Yeah. Allison: description of the podcast