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Who you become in a relationship with a narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  I am Lee Hammock, the diagnosed selfaware narcissist known as
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  mental illness and welcome to another episode of the
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  narcissist code. If this is the first time seeing
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  you in my face or hear my voice, I use my platform on social
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  media to raise awareness for NPD, get more people in the
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  therapy and also validate the victims, survivors and the
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  thrivers said disorder, said toxic people said toxic traits.
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  Today's episode is going to be entitled Who you are with the
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  Narcissist, who you become, Why you in a relationship with the
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  artist. Before we hop into today's
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  episode, y'all make sure, if you haven't already, to subscribe to
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  join my e-mail list, my mailing list and whatnot, My my
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  newsletter. I have kids books coming out.
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  I have a course coming out, I have my own personal book coming
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  out. There's a lot of stuff coming
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  out behind the scenes, access and things of that nature,
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  discount codes, all that other good stuff.
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  Y'all links in the description of every podcast and every video
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  that I do. And also like I said, it is
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  going to be pinned in the comments, but thank you Sir.
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  But yeah, yeah, yeah. Who you become with the
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  narcissistic person. This is deep.
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  This is one of those deep situations where a lot of people
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  get into these spaces like who? Who are who are you talking
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  about? Lee, What do you what do you
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  have going on? Y'all.
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  You become somebody else when you were your election with a
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  narcissist. You don't recognize yourself.
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  And I'm not. I'm not just talking about
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  physically. I know a lot of people get into
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  the physical space. Like, yeah, you're right, Lee.
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  We don't. I look physically different when
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  I'm in a relationship with the narcissist.
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  The person. Yeah, that's true.
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  But it's not all about the physical aspect of things.
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  Y'all. You can have a very, very unique
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  you who you become relationship wise.
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  Who you become in your everyday world is going to be different
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  as well. Who you become emotionally, who
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  you become mentally, Who are you?
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  Ask yourself that question. Who are?
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  Who are you asking? Because right now, this is where
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  this is where homework. We are doing some homework
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  today. Welcome to Welcome to
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  Narcissism, Narcissism, One-on-one Killing wallet Right
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  now. Who you were before this
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  relationship. Space for this relationship
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  started right now. Who you were.
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  And then I say it's completely different.
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  If your parent was the narcissistic person right now,
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  who you were you still right now, who you were, why you were
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  in the household with your parents, and who you are after
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  you leave the household, you know.
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  So who were, Who were? Who are you in this relationship
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  with a narcissistic person? Who are you?
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  Who were you before? Who were you before?
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  Where you happy? Where you're outgoing?
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  Where you're loud? Where you're fun?
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  The people love being around you.
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  Who were you before this relationship started?
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  Right now? Write it down.
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  Finished. Now on the other side of that
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  paper, Or or on the same to the paper right now.
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  Who you are now and be honest with yourself, this doesn't
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  yeah, this doesn't work if you don't get real, raw and honest
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  with it right now in this space. This doesn't This doesn't work.
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  It just doesn't work if you don't get real and honest right
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  now. Who are you right now?
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  Who are you? Are you still fun?
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  Are you still outgoing? Are you still kind?
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  Are you? Are you?
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  Have you changed to fit? Have you changed to fit this
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  relationship? Have you changed in this
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  relationship to make the person that you're with happy?
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  Have you changed anything about yourself to to to acquiesce to
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  this person's existence, to make this person happy?
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  Have you changed? What has changed about you?
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  Because I can guarantee you you're not the same person you
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  were. I I know you and and I said I
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  know you, Arden. You know you Arden.
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  You see what I'm saying? It's just you changing these
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  relationships. Y'all.
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  You change emotionally. You change physically.
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  You say you might change financially.
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  You might lose, you might lose financial holding, financial
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  standing in your life because you're in a touch relationship.
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  Y'all. What the hell?
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  What is it costing you? Y'all?
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  What is it costing you in this relationship?
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  Is it costing you friends? Does it cost you family?
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  What is it costing you? Ask yourself.
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  You have you have to ask yourself what is this?
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  What is this costing me? You know?
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  Can I really live this way? Am I?
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  Am I happy right now? What is this costing me?
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  To stay in this toxic relationship space?
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  Because I can guarantee you who you are now is a shell of who
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  you were. I talked to so many people over
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  the last few years. Y'all of me being on this, in
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  this, on this platform for talking about narcissism,
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  personality disorder, mental health stuff.
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  I talked to thousands of people and I'm not when I say thousands
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  of people, I am not joking with you.
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  I've spoken to literally thousands of people and one and
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  one thing that is a common thing across the theme.
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  The common theme is that people have changed for the worst while
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  you being any touch relations. I'm not talking about when you
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  get out of it, you become a thriver.
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  Why you're in it. You become somebody new, you
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  become a less, you become less. It's kind of like a turtle.
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  You are beautiful, turtle right outside.
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  Before you got into this relationship, your shell is
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  pretty you got Pretty Little turtle legs, turtle tail.
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  Your shell is clean and you know.
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  But now it's like your your your look, Your head is your head is
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  always outside the shell. You swimming around you keep
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  your head around you. You're a happy turtle.
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  But when you get into these relationships, you become a sad
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  turtle shell. Dirty legs all look crusty.
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  Look, crusty tail. You know what I mean.
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  Head is inside the shell. More times than not you, because
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  like you literally retreat within that.
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  You literally retreat within yourself to protect yourself.
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  You start to disassociate. You start disassociating.
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  Y'all you don't even know where you are.
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  Sometimes when you getting yelled at you, you you kind of
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  like what the hell just happened.
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  You become numb to it. Y'all you might you might pick
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  up an addiction you might pick up a substance abuse addiction
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  you. It's like you might pick up.
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  You might start abusing, sometimes a substance to escape.
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  You might start doing things that you would never do before.
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  You might become a yeller or a screamer.
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  You might become volatile. You might become reactionary.
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  You might because you might start to look abusive.
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  Y'all these relationships change you.
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  They just absolutely do. And this is not me telling you
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  right now you need to leave right now.
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  I'm telling you, you need to start making changes for
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  yourself for the better right now.
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  If that requires you to leave, then hey, be as safe as
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  possible. Get the hell out of there.
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  But if you have everybody's situation is different.
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  So if you have to stay in this relationship space, start doing
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  something for you, you might not ever be able to go back to the
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  person you were before this relationship.
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  And that's not necessarily a bad thing.
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  You can build a better version of yourself.
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  Like I said, you can build a better version of yourself with
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  good with aspects of who you were before and who you were
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  doing this relationship. Because you picked up some
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  skills. You picked up a lot of
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  knowledge. Now you might be damn near narc
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  proof. You might be Resilient A F Check
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  out my my homie, Sinful. SYNFUL.
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  This is her brand right here. Resilient A F This is her brand
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  for Survivor brand, Thriver brand right here.
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  So check her out. SYNFUL.
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  She's a narcissistic abuse survivor.
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  Check her out on all platforms. Y'all.
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  She's hilarious. Got a lot of good stuff.
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  But seriously, that's just how it goes.
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  Y'all. It is a very unique space, a
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  very unique dynamic in these situations.
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  You have to empower yourself, though.
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  You have to take the necessary steps.
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  Because who are you right now? Y'all.
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  Do you like who you are? Do you like who you've become?
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  I've talked to so many people. They just start crying when I'm
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  They start crying when they're talking about themselves.
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  I asked them like, who you? Who are you right now?
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  They start crying. I don't know who I am anymore.
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  I understand and I get it. I get it.
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  But now it's time to learn you. What do you like to do?
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  What have you done for yourself lately?
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  What have you done for yourself recently?
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  What are you going to continue to do for yourself?
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  What's next for you? You said.
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  I'm saying what are you doing to feed yourself?
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  What are you doing to fulfill yourself?
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  Because you've done so much for this toxic, narcissistic person.
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  What about you? Seriously, what?
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  Seriously, what about you? Because you have to do something
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  for yourself. You, we have to find, you have
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  to find a healthy balance. You have to do something for
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  yourself. Because if you don't start doing
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  something for yourself, you're going to lose yourself more and
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  more and more. And then by the end of this
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  relationship, you're going to be unrecognizable to yourself.
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  And again, they're not necessarily the end of the
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  world, But like I said, you can rebuild yourself.
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  Why? You can start to rebuild
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  yourself while you're in this relationship.
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  Y'all. If you building up to leave,
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  perfect. If you building up because you
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  can't leave right now, I understand it as well.
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  But you're still good. Take baby.
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  Steps are still steps. Y'all do something for yourself.
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  Do do something. Call up a friend you haven't
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  talked to in a long time because you've been isolated.
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  Because you've been isolated. Call up your brother.
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  Call up your sister. Talk to your dad.
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  Mama, talk to your dad. If they if they are still
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  around, you know what I'm saying?
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  If they and if they are healthy. If it's healthy for you to reach
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  out to these people. Because sometimes those people
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  are toxic as well. So you had a toxic ass.
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  BFF, they don't do you. They don't do you any good to
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  reach out to your toxic ass. You see what I'm saying?
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  But like I said, at the end of the day, y'all you are, you can
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  empower yourself to take the necessary steps forward, to be
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  as strong as you possibly can because you you have.
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  But I can say it all I want to you.
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  I can say, hey, you look, you deserve better, but you have to
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  believe it. You deserve the chance of
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  happiness. Are you happy right now?
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  When the last time you've been happy in this relationship?
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  When the last time you woke up in the morning and just said I
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  cannot wait to participate in this relationship, what did
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  last? You did that.
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  Who are you? You're not who you used to be.
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  Now it's time to get them back. That's time to go get go get
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  them back. You can get it back.
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  You can build better. Y'all the bones are still.
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  It's like an old house. It's like an old house.
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  You still got good bones. Time to time to flip yourself.
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  Like you flip on the House. You can remodel yourself.
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  Y'all. Buy low, sell high.
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  It's time. Right now, it's time.
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  You can remodel yourself. You can flip yourself you.
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  The bones are still good. The good person that you were
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  before this relationship started.
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  The bones are still there. Now it's time to remodel
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  yourself. Y'all.
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  It's how to modernize yourself. It's how to modern Look out.
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  You might have been, you might have been a nice colonial style
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  house originally, right? This narcissistic person that
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  came in here got you moldy the shut your shutters all beat up
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  your windows busted. The heat don't work.
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  The ceiling fans got dust on them, The me roaches everywhere.
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  But now look. Now it's time for you to buy
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  low, sell high. And that's time for you to come
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  here. OK, look.
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  Time for time for me. Good bones.
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  The bones are still there. Remodel it.
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  Pest inspected. Get the windows fixed, painted.
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  You see what I'm saying? Flip it.
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  Now you work. Look, you can leave this
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  relationship and be worth more than you were before.
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  You can leave if you remodel yourself.
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  If you start working yourself correctly, you can leave this
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  relationship worth more than you were originally.
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  Originally you got more value, now you have.
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  You're like, I'm just telling you y'all you can do this.
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  I can say that I don't want to though.
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  But you have to believe me yourself.
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  Y'all know. I know there's been kind of a
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  motivational rent. I don't know how I got I got
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  build you up Y'all because like this is yeah I want y'all to
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  win. Like I want y'all to win so
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  much. It is insane like you're
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  narcissist. Why you want people to win?
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  Because I love it. Y'all I love helping people win.
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  You can narcissist to apply. From helping you.
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  Yes. From helping people win.
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  I love it. Feed me your feed me your
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  victories. I love where y'all win.
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  Damn. When Remind yourself, Lee, I had
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  a girl. I had a look.
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  I said girl. I had a woman I talked to the
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  other day. I saw her posted video on
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  Tiktok, right. And she I was like, hey, I know
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  her and yo, when I first talked to this woman back in 2021, I
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  think it was like March or April of 2021.
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  I mean a quick example, I talked to this woman in like March or
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  April of 2021, right? No, it was April or May of 2021
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  and y'all she was like out of it.
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  She was crying the whole time. She didn't know what the hell
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  was going on. She was super sad.
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  She was in a super abusive relationship.
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  Y'all extremely abusive. I thought to her May 20th of
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  2021 and look April no April 19th 2021, April 19th, 2021.
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  And then I talked to her again May 20th 2022, a year apart.
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  Now August 2023, she's helping other people leave.
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  Toss relationship. Y'all I didn't like.
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  I talked to her the first time making on in April of 20/21.
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  She was broken. Tina remodeled herself.
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  She'd have lost way. She in the gym.
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  I'm like that's what a wind look like.
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  She resilient a F that's what a wind look like.
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  I was like I'm so proud of you. And she's older than me too.
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  Y'all say she's like in her 50s. I like I'm proud of you.
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  It might not mean much but I'm proud of you like I want to be
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  proud of y'all y'all I'm proud of you for making this on this
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  video. I'm proud of you for your
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  journey. I'm proud of you for surviving
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  this far. What's next for you though?
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  Who are you right now? Who have you become?
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  Let's get them back. Let's remodel ourselves.
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  Y'all this. This, This is the year we
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  remodel. We flipping ourselves.
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  Y'all we flipping ourselves took out Dick bones.
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  Bones are good. Join the newsletter Y'all if you
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  haven't. If you made it this for y'all,
• 12:56
  make sure you subscribe. Get out there when mental
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  illness is out. Peace.
• 13:01
  What is going on beautiful people Thank you so much for
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  making it to the end of my video.
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  Watching it all the way through. Y'all if you haven't already go
• 13:08
  ahead go ahead and hit that subscribe button.
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  Y'all turn on notification so you don't miss a video and what
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  not and so we can help reach more people.
• 13:15
  Like I said in the beginning the self love brand is available.
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  I have a self love journal that's available on Amazon as
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  well to help you rebuild that self love Lee Hammock.
• 13:23
  I love me on Amazon and what not.
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  Also do one on ones over zoom and such as well.
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