Latest / Your Money, Your Rules | Financial Mastery, Wealth Mindset, Leadership Principles, Intuitive Decision-Making, Human Design / 100 | 100th Episode Celebrationš: Your Top Money Questions Answered
Transcript
- 0:00Erin Gray: Our feelings are an inside job right.
- 0:02Erin Gray: It's our responsibility to generate that, you know.
- 0:05Erin Gray: That is one of the reasons why I named my company Generate a Life Well-Lived because we generate everything from within first Our health, our wealth, love, all of it.
- 0:15Erin Gray: Do you wanna create a system to stop avoiding your money?
- 0:18Erin Gray: Maybe you're feeling guilt and shame when it comes to finances.
- 0:21Erin Gray: Welcome to your Money, your Rules.
- 0:24Erin Gray: I'm Erin, a former certified financial planner and CFO, and yet I used to avoid my money and had fear, no matter how much we had.
- 0:32Erin Gray: I can't wait to teach you how I overcame my money avoidance and started consistently managing my finances in a really simple way.
- 0:39Erin Gray: It's time to get comfortable with money.
- 0:42Erin Gray: I know the fear that you're feeling right now because, like me and so many of my other clients, they have been exactly where you have been worrying about whether you're truly making the right decisions with your money.
- 0:53Erin Gray: Maybe you're feeling anxious about whether you're saving enough, investing wisely, or even if you're even doing the right things at all.
- 1:01Erin Gray: The pressure can feel overwhelming, like a constant weight you're carrying.
- 1:05Erin Gray: You may wonder if you're qualified to even manage your finances or if you're even on the right path.
- 1:11Erin Gray: I want you to know you are not alone in these fears.
- 1:14Erin Gray: Every woman that I have ever helped who has overcome her financial overwhelm has felt the exact same way that you do right now.
- 1:21Erin Gray: Every success story it begins with someone saying I'm going to take control, I'm going to choose differently.
- 1:28Erin Gray: And even though the fear feels real in your body, the truth is you can still take charge of your money and make empowered decisions.
- 1:37Erin Gray: If you're ready to stop letting fear hold you back, if you're ready to break free from feeling stuck or unsure about your financial future, then today is the day to make that change.
- 1:48Erin Gray: I'm here to help you do it.
- 1:49Erin Gray: I'll walk beside you, guiding you every step of the way.
- 1:53Erin Gray: Together, we'll work through the fear, break down the emotional barriers and help you create a plan that makes sense and feels good for you, so you can finally feel calm and confident with your money.
- 2:05Erin Gray: If you're ready to take charge of your money and make the changes you've been longing for, I want you to say yes For once.
- 2:13Erin Gray: Say yes to you.
- 2:15Erin Gray: Let's work together and overcome that fear.
- 2:17Erin Gray: You can head over to my website, generatealifewelllivedcom to schedule your one-hour session and let's get started.
- 2:24Erin Gray: Hello, my friends.
- 2:26Erin Gray: Episode 100.
- 2:27Erin Gray: Can we just celebrate?
- 2:29Erin Gray: Celebrate you celebrate me, celebrate all the growth that we've had.
- 2:36Erin Gray: I don't think we celebrate enough.
- 2:37Erin Gray: That's something, that's a skill set that I've really worked through, worked on, I should say, over the last couple of years is to just celebrate everything, to look at how far I've come versus how far I need to go.
- 2:49Erin Gray: So I just want to say, if you've been around for a while, thank you for and I might cry and I'm going to let that be there but just thank you for tuning in every week.
- 2:59Erin Gray: I show up for myself, I show up for you because I truly believe that more women need to.
- 3:06Erin Gray: You know, I don't want to say need to, but changing the way that we view money, changing our relationship with money, I think we can change the world, and so I'm just so grateful for each of you that have tuned in every week.
- 3:18Erin Gray: For those of you that are new here, welcome.
- 3:21Erin Gray: I'm so glad you're here.
- 3:23Erin Gray: So I thought what would be fun is.
- 3:25Erin Gray: I asked in my email list and also in my Facebook community money mindset tips for women in business.
- 3:32Erin Gray: I asked what are some questions that you have?
- 3:35Erin Gray: And so I have a couple of questions that I'm going to go over.
- 3:38Erin Gray: So I'm just going to dive into the questions that you guys have submitted, okay.
- 3:44Erin Gray: So Carmen asked what is 5D and what does that mean in terms of money?
- 3:49Erin Gray: So, if you've heard me, there's I think there's one or two episodes that I have around what I call the 3D and the 5D of money.
- 3:56Erin Gray: And so 5D refers literally to like the fifth dimension, right.
- 4:02Erin Gray: It's a concept commonly used in spiritual and metaphysical circles and it's a way of understanding more conscious and intuitive, expansive way of being right.
- 4:14Erin Gray: So if you think about, it's what you can't see, it's sensations, it's feelings.
- 4:19Erin Gray: So, in terms of money, 5d to me means how I use, it, means more about the energetics, how I feel right when I'm interacting with my money, versus the actual physical, tangible actions that I'm taking right.
- 4:36Erin Gray: So it could represent, depending on where you are right, a shift from fear-based, scarcity driven thinking, which is a lot of times more often linked to that 3d or lower dimensional thinking, to one of abundance, flow, trust in the universe.
- 4:57Erin Gray: So it's something that when I say the 5d, you can't.
- 5:02Erin Gray: You can't see it, but energy is always moving around us, right.
- 5:07Erin Gray: So in the context of money, people see money not as something to hoard or to control, but as something that, because in the 5D energy flows right, energy is always flowing, is always flowing, circulating.
- 5:29Erin Gray: So in the context of money, 5d people see money not as something to hoard or to control, but as energy right that flows, circulates and supports our highest good.
- 5:37Erin Gray: You know, in a 5D mindset you embrace abundance and recognize that you align with financial ease and freedom through trust and flow, rather that fear and control.
- 5:53Erin Gray: So I would ask when I talk about you know, I put my coaching hat on and I'm like okay, so let me talk about like, let's actually talk about the 5D.
- 6:02Erin Gray: When we're talking about, let's say, we're looking at your books or we're looking at your personal finances and we're actually doing the tasks of like getting clear on where you are factually with money, then the 5D would be and how do, how do you feel when you see these numbers?
- 6:20Erin Gray: That's the 5D.
- 6:22Erin Gray: Thanks, carmen, for asking that question and clearing that up.
- 6:24Erin Gray: Okay, michelle asked how do I stop being clingy with money?
- 6:35Erin Gray: So let's I'll define my definition of clingy.
- 6:37Erin Gray: I think being clingy with money often means being overly attached or fearful about losing it.
- 6:41Erin Gray: So this could show up as either excessive saving, maybe refusing to spend, or spending very minimally, or constantly worrying about the future, right, this comes back to.
- 6:54Erin Gray: It's rooted a lot of times in scarcity thinking and a lack of trust in the flow of life, the flow of money and in our abilities to create more.
- 7:04Erin Gray: So how do you get out of being clingy is always celebrate where you are right.
- 7:13Erin Gray: You notice that you are acting clingy and I don't want to say being clingy, because being is is our identity, right?
- 7:21Erin Gray: You're just acting clingy with money.
- 7:25Erin Gray: So celebrate and notice where you are acting clingy with money, right.
- 7:30Erin Gray: Where does it show up?
- 7:32Erin Gray: Where are your triggers?
- 7:33Erin Gray: When does this arise?
- 7:35Erin Gray: What are you doing?
- 7:37Erin Gray: And being really clear on what creates the action of feeling clingy, and then start working on shifting.
- 7:46Erin Gray: You know your mindset, somatic practices, right?
- 7:51Erin Gray: Do you want to practice breathing when you notice yourself feeling clingy?
- 7:54Erin Gray: Do you want to do some EFT tapping?
- 7:58Erin Gray: Do you want to do some breath work to move some of that energy?
- 8:01Erin Gray: Every time I think that we are in some type of scarcity mindset, it's coming up to be released.
- 8:10Erin Gray: That's energy there that has been suppressed and repressed and we want to move through that.
- 8:15Erin Gray: So start focusing on sufficiency and reminding yourself that money is a tool, right.
- 8:22Erin Gray: It's not a source of security, because if it was a source of security, everybody that has money all of them would feel secure.
- 8:30Erin Gray: And we know that that's not true, because if you talk to some people that have money, they don't feel secure.
- 8:36Erin Gray: There is nothing ever outside of us that will ever create the feeling within us, and I know that we have been taught, at least in society, that that is true, right, oh, if you buy this, you know, face stuff, it's going to make you look X, y, z.
- 8:55Erin Gray: If you, you know, drive this car, it'll make you feel.
- 8:58Erin Gray: But it doesn't, because our feelings are an inside job.
- 9:04Erin Gray: Right, it's our responsibility to generate that, you know.
- 9:07Erin Gray: That is one of the reasons why I named my company generate a life well-lived because we generate everything from within first, our health, our wealth, love, all of it, and so really starting to notice oh, where am I thinking that something is outside of me?
- 9:25Erin Gray: So, training your nervous system.
- 9:27Erin Gray: You know that it's okay to experience joy and fun and ease.
- 9:34Erin Gray: I think that is a big one for myself and clients is do we have the capacity to have things with ease?
- 9:40Erin Gray: We've been taught by a lot of our parents that we have to struggle and we have to work hard and society does this too right, like even the business world.
- 9:47Erin Gray: It's like hustle to make your you know business work.
- 9:51Erin Gray: It's like, why aren't we talking about this with ease?
- 9:54Erin Gray: I think a lot of times if I were to ask a question like, do you feel successful or do you feel wealthy?
- 10:01Erin Gray: Most of the times people might say yes, but then if I were to add on the word with ease, then that might change.
- 10:09Erin Gray: So, really starting to train your nervous system to have ease and joy and love easily, you know easy, easily.
- 10:24Erin Gray: So start slow, I always say, and start small.
- 10:27Erin Gray: You know what is something that you want that you aren't allowing yourself to have, and so what is that dollar amount?
- 10:35Erin Gray: You know, I wouldn't say, if you're not used to spending any money on yourself, then go take yourself on a 10 day vacation, like that's too far of a jump for your nervous system.
- 10:43Erin Gray: But what is something that you could start doing on a consistent basis and spending money on yourself and noticing what comes up for you.
- 10:51Erin Gray: And the next step is, you know, letting go of fear, which I think the way to let go of fear is you actually have to take action, taking small, intentional steps to release the fear around spending or saving.
- 11:05Erin Gray: Start spending on things you love that add value to your life.
- 11:08Erin Gray: If you're notorious for not spending money on yourself, then maybe you need to start with like I don't know monthly pedicure or massage.
- 11:16Erin Gray: Or just notice the resistance to when I say those things and maybe you know a pedicure and a massage isn't your thing.
- 11:23Erin Gray: But what is that you enjoy doing that you're not currently doing because you might feel shame or guilt.
- 11:32Erin Gray: And they always say you know, in order to practice generosity, give money away right In small ways to shift your energy.
- 11:39Erin Gray: Because when someone truly feels abundant, they just give because they know more is coming.
- 11:44Erin Gray: So it can be something as simple as donating to different charities that you care about tipping really well.
- 11:51Erin Gray: Like that's always fun, I love to tip well.
- 11:52Erin Gray: And then I love to think about like how is this server going to get to use that money?
- 11:56Erin Gray: Like that's so fun.
- 11:57Erin Gray: It's signaling to the universe that you are abundant, right, that you have more than enough.
- 12:03Erin Gray: More is on its way.
- 12:06Erin Gray: Okay, chrissy asked how do we release fear around money?
- 12:10Erin Gray: And I know that this might seem similar to the previous question that Michelle asked about being clingy with money, but I wanted to put this in here because I think our brains are really sneaky around, how they present themselves, right, fear, clinginess, controlling that, ultimately, like at the base of it, really, yes, there's, we have lots of emotions, but really I always ask myself am I moving from a place of fear or love?
- 12:39Erin Gray: One is expansive, one is very, you know, contracting and limiting.
- 12:45Erin Gray: So, like I mentioned in the previous answer, just acknowledge the fear.
- 12:50Erin Gray: Fear around money is common and it can stem from a lot of times, from our past experiences growing up, what our parents talked about money, cultural conditioning, even our personal insecurities.
- 13:03Erin Gray: So it's important to acknowledge that the fear is there versus trying to push it away.
- 13:08Erin Gray: Like I think sometimes we recognize that we're in fear and then we're so quick to just be like I want to get out of it, but that's still resistance.
- 13:16Erin Gray: So allowing it, doing inner child work and talking about like, what do you need?
- 13:21Erin Gray: What do you need in this moment?
- 13:22Erin Gray: And allowing that sensation in your body to come up and out.
- 13:26Erin Gray: What does that little girl inside of you need in the moment?
- 13:29Erin Gray: Does she need a hug?
- 13:30Erin Gray: Does she need just like a touch on the face to let her know that you're going to be okay and that you're here for her.
- 13:37Erin Gray: You know, many of us weren't given the opportunity to talk about our fears when we were little.
- 13:42Erin Gray: We were told to keep going or it's not that bad Right, and so we just repressed it and suppressed it.
- 13:48Erin Gray: So our fear shows us what needs to be seen and I think that this is a perfect time, like I mentioned just, to do some inner child healing work.
- 13:58Erin Gray: I don't necessarily like the word healing as if, like, at some point we're going to be all done.
- 14:02Erin Gray: I just think that we just keep having, you know, new levels.
- 14:07Erin Gray: You know you've heard the term like new levels, same devil.
- 14:10Erin Gray: So it's just what do you need in that moment?
- 14:14Erin Gray: What?
- 14:14Erin Gray: What is asking to be seen, to be heard, to be felt and then releasing the fear is reframing right your beliefs, examining your beliefs about money Are they based on past traumas?
- 14:27Erin Gray: Maybe some scarcity?
- 14:29Erin Gray: Replacing those negative beliefs with empowering ones, like we truly have to rewire our neural pathways, talking about telling yourself there's always enough, finding evidence, how is you know there's always enough sunshine, there's always enough leaves, there's always enough trees, there's always enough oxygen?
- 14:49Erin Gray: There's like, really start to think, to look at where is there always enough leaves, there's always enough trees, there's always enough oxygen, there's like really start to look at where is there always enough.
- 14:55Erin Gray: I think also to practicing gratitude, and I don't think that this is like gaslighting yourself, like how practice gratitude when you're feeling really in scarcity?
- 15:07Erin Gray: Think first you always need to feel what you're feeling and then get in the habit of practicing gratitude for the money that you have.
- 15:16Erin Gray: Right, money loves to be appreciated, it loves to support you.
- 15:21Erin Gray: I think it has both masculine and feminine qualities, right?
- 15:26Erin Gray: The masculine part is it loves to support you and the feminine is like it loves to be appreciated and paid attention to.
- 15:32Erin Gray: So how can you do both of those so it can continue to support you?
- 15:36Erin Gray: How has it always supported you all of your life?
- 15:39Erin Gray: How has it always supported you?
- 15:40Erin Gray: How does it want to be around you?
- 15:42Erin Gray: Like really starting to get curious and asking your brain and finding the evidence for that and then, obviously, taking action.
- 15:48Erin Gray: What are those small steps that you're going to start doing to take action, even when you're feeling that fear?
- 15:56Erin Gray: You know fear isn't necessarily stop, it's move forward, have courage and come out on the other side.
- 16:06Erin Gray: Having grown, having learned a lesson, I think a lot of times we think fear is bad or that means we need to stop.
- 16:13Erin Gray: Yeah, fear like oh my gosh, I'm going to get out of the road because I see this person driving crazy yeah, that's helpful.
- 16:20Erin Gray: Fear of oh, I don't want to invest in myself or my business because I'm afraid not helpful.
- 16:25Erin Gray: So thank you, chrissy, for asking that question.
- 16:29Erin Gray: Okay, the last one is Lindsay asked feeling overwhelmed with a budget.
- 16:35Erin Gray: Where do I start?
- 16:36Erin Gray: And I know I sound like a broken record, but it's always starting small.
- 16:41Erin Gray: I think I was just having this conversation with a client yesterday.
- 16:44Erin Gray: We we think everything has to be perfect, we think everything needs to be just so before we get started, but it actually stops us from getting started because nothing is ever going to be perfect and when we live in that fantasy world, it's just.
- 17:00Erin Gray: It's just a way to keep us exactly where we are.
- 17:03Erin Gray: So how can you get started right now?
- 17:05Erin Gray: Right, break down some of these overwhelming tasks into manageable chunks.
- 17:11Erin Gray: This is also something that I do with my clients.
- 17:13Erin Gray: It's like really getting clear and it's a lot of fun when you're doing work, you know, on your money with somebody else, so it doesn't feel so heavy.
- 17:21Erin Gray: So if that's something that you're wanting to do.
- 17:23Erin Gray: I'll provide the link in the show notes and we can really work through.
- 17:27Erin Gray: You know, in an hour, get some clarity around your financial position and next steps.
- 17:34Erin Gray: So focus on one thing at a time, rather than trying to overhaul everything at once.
- 17:39Erin Gray: Here's another way that our brain tries to trick us or tries to stop us.
- 17:43Erin Gray: Right, you start seeing all of these different things and then you just think, oh, my goodness, I have to do all of this stuff.
- 17:49Erin Gray: And I feel so overwhelmed versus, okay, I'm just gonna see, I'm gonna pull up my credit card statement, I'm gonna see everything that we spent our money on over the last month.
- 17:59Erin Gray: Like, just start there, just start tracking your spending.
- 18:04Erin Gray: Simple spreadsheets, you know, I don't even think we need to get into if it's, if, if you're using a spreadsheet currently and it's when I say working, like, okay, I don't really want to do a software program, then just use the Excel spreadsheet.
- 18:18Erin Gray: You can download your credit card statement into an Excel spreadsheet and then you can itemize based on categories.
- 18:25Erin Gray: So don't worry about budgeting yet.
- 18:29Erin Gray: Just gather the data, just notice the sensations you're feeling in your body, like there's so much goodness and awareness, and just noticing how you're feeling as you're doing this exercise, and then the next step would just be, you know, starting a basic budget.
- 18:44Erin Gray: Start by categorizing your expenses right.
- 18:46Erin Gray: What are the needs versus want, or what I call fixed expenses versus discretionary expenses?
- 18:50Erin Gray: You could do like a 50, 30, 20, like 50% would be fixed expenses, 30 would be discretionary.
- 18:57Erin Gray: So fixed is like things that aren't going to change your mortgage, your car payment.
- 19:01Erin Gray: Discretionary is going to be food or shopping or personal care, and then the 20% would be savings and investments.
- 19:11Erin Gray: Now, depending on your percentages, if you're off, it's okay, right, we can, we can change it, we can allocate it, and then we can work up to that and just decide on.
- 19:21Erin Gray: You know where are you spending your money and is it an alignment with your values?
- 19:26Erin Gray: You know, a exercise I always have for clients are like what are your top three values?
- 19:31Erin Gray: Because if you're not spending in alignment with your values, that might be where some of the emotions you know spending in alignment with your values, that might be where some of the emotions you know the guilt is coming from.
- 19:39Erin Gray: And also really getting clear.
- 19:40Erin Gray: When you know, right, how do we go somewhere, we plug the location into the GPS.
- 19:49Erin Gray: So if you don't know what your values are or you haven't really sat down to think about that, then how you spend your money, how you invest your money, might be a little cloudy because you aren't clear on your values so often.
- 20:01Erin Gray: You know, we associate budgets with restriction, and I really like to look at budgets as a way that it supports my lifestyle and keeps me on track to spending what is in alignment for us.
- 20:13Erin Gray: And then, once you've done that, just review and adjust regularly, right?
- 20:18Erin Gray: There've been times maybe a year or two ago we valued certain things.
- 20:21Erin Gray: We don't value them as much anymore, so we've just shifted the way that we spend our money.
- 20:25Erin Gray: It's totally fine.
- 20:26Erin Gray: You can always make a new decision.
- 20:27Erin Gray: So your budget isn't set in stone, right.
- 20:31Erin Gray: Regularly check in with it, adjust it as your needs change and then celebrate how far you've come.
- 20:37Erin Gray: Right.
- 20:38Erin Gray: Who is the woman that sits down and looks at her money on a consistent basis?
- 20:41Erin Gray: And what does consistent mean to you?
- 20:43Erin Gray: Does it mean weekly?
- 20:44Erin Gray: Does it mean daily?
- 20:45Erin Gray: Does it mean monthly, like what is that number for you?
- 20:48Erin Gray: But who is the woman that takes care of her money?
- 20:51Erin Gray: Who is the woman that loves to be with her money?
- 20:56Erin Gray: So thank you, lindsay, for submitting that question, and I just want to say that everybody starts somewhere and we don't have to compare ourselves to someone else.
- 21:05Erin Gray: We just need to start comparing ourselves to how far we've come right.
- 21:09Erin Gray: What's the?
- 21:10Erin Gray: Are you 1% better than you were last week?
- 21:12Erin Gray: Are you intentionally working on your money beliefs and how you feel with money in your relationship with money?
- 21:20Erin Gray: Then applaud yourself and give yourself an attagirl for doing this work.
- 21:25Erin Gray: This isn't easy work and appreciate yourself and give yourself so much love for doing it.
- 21:34Erin Gray: Okay, that's what I've got for you.
- 21:37Erin Gray: I just want to say thank you, thank you.
- 21:40Erin Gray: Thank you so much for making 100 episodes possible for tuning in weekly.
- 21:46Erin Gray: Also, for those of you that submitted your questions, I'm excited for where the next hundred episodes are going to go and I'm also so proud of myself for completing the a hundred episodes.
- 21:58Erin Gray: If you're looking for a community of women who are in the same boat as you are in regards to transforming their relationship with money and you really want to connect, learn from others and also get some questions answered, I would love to have you inside my Facebook community money mindset tips for women in business.
- 22:16Erin Gray: You can click on the link in the show notes or go to just Facebook groups and Google.
- 22:22Erin Gray: Not Google, but search in the Facebook.
- 22:24Erin Gray: Money mindset tips for women in business.
- 22:27Erin Gray: Okay, I'll see you in the next episode.
- 22:29Erin Gray: Did you learn something today?
- 22:31Erin Gray: Do you know another female entrepreneur who might be avoiding her money?
- 22:35Erin Gray: Will you send this episode over to her for me and, if you have it in you, please leave me a review for this podcast.
- 22:43Erin Gray: It helps the show grow and I love hearing from you.
- 22:45Erin Gray: See you next week.