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Causing a NARCISSISTIC COLLAPSE with one question · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about the one question that
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  could possibly make a narcissist collapse, cause a narcissist
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  that collapse. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  So welcome back, welcome back, welcome back folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes. The one question to ask a
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  narcissist, they could cause or trigger a possible narcissistic
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  collapse. So first of all, I didn't create
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  this question. I didn't come up with it.
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  I was reading an article. I don't know how I got to the
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  article. I forgot what I was Googling.
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  But the article came up from Rebecca Zung and she's a, you
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  know, brilliant content creator attorney.
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  I think she's an attorney specializing in narcissistic
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  abuse and dealing with narcissistic people, right?
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  And the article listened to the question.
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  I was like, let me see what let me see what question this is
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  that she's referring to. What question that she's talking
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  about. It is not, you know, question.
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  What kind of bear is best? The the question that she put on
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  her, they said it could cause a narcissistic collapse or cause a
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  narcissistic to collapse is simple.
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  It is five words. How does that benefit you?
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  That's the question. I was like that.
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  You know what? That is a very interesting
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  question. That is a very interesting
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  question. In the article on medium.com,
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  she pretty much said that question shifts the balance of
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  power back to the person asking the question and away from a
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  narcissist. So if you're like negotiating
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  with a narcissist or a toxic person or whatever, asking them
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  this question kind of flips. It kind of flips them on her
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  head because very rarely will a narcissist try to give you
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  anything. Narcissistic people try to
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  steamroller you, right? They're very rarely going to
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  come to a negotiating table and try to work out a win win
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  situation. Typically it's I win, you lose.
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  Or at least I need to feel like I'm winning.
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  I need to feel a victory here. I need to feel like I'm winning
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  in some way, shape or form, right?
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  So if I'm feeling this way right, then like as a narcissist
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  myself, if I'm feeling this way, then I can walk away from the
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  negotiating table. But when you ask a narcissist
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  that question right there, it does make them think it does.
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  And the most narcissists don't want to reveal, reveal their
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  true motives. They don't want to reveal their
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  true intent. So they try to keep it close to
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  the cuff, like they want to make you think that they're trying to
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  work with you and things like that.
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  But if you ask them this question, how does that benefit
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  you? Yeah, it makes them start to
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  think. And they could get angry as
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  hell. This isn't about me.
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  This is about the kids. This is about the money.
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  This is about this. It's not about me.
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  Everything's not about me. Just like it's about you.
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  You're the selfish one. You're the selfish one here.
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  You're not trying to negotiate. How does this benefit me?
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  How does it benefit you? Huh.
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  How does the hell does this benefit you?
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  That's why we're not together. Because he's worrying about that
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  blah, blah. You worry about stuff.
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  There's stuff that doesn't matter, Rabble rabble rabble
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  blah, blah blah, Boo Boo Boo BBB.
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  And they can get very angry. They could, they could withdraw
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  from the situation or whatnot. And there's a lot of things that
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  happens in the situation. She she she said in the article,
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  it says that the narcissist collapse right here because it
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  makes them, you know, revealed. It prompts them to reveal their
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  motives. They may be taken aback, stumble
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  or become defensive in this moment, in that moment, you've
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  shifted the balance of power. Yes, you have.
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  You have shifted it because they're looking at you as a
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  completely different person now, because now you're asking them
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  to look inside. You're asking them to look
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  deeper. Do you asking them to think more
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  critically and reveal themselves And a lot of times their true
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  motive is it's dark. A lot of narcissists have a
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  truly dark motive. They have truly dark intent with
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  whatever situation is here. They have the intent of just
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  running over top of you and making making your life harder
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  and steamrolling you and just making things more difficult
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  just for the hill just for the sake of making it more
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  difficult. This is what a lot of
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  narcissists do. They don't care about the end
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  result. They don't care about who
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  they're hurting. They don't care about who they
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  get who's getting ran over. They just care about how they're
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  feeling. If you, if you somehow initiated
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  the divorce or the breakup or the separation or whatever,
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  you're trying to quit the company, whatever it is,
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  whoever, whatever role the narcissist plays, right, if you
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  are the one who made them feel rejected or hit their ego,
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  they're going to try to inflict maximum pain on you.
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  Because vengeance is vengeance will be mine.
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  You know what I mean? They will try to.
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  They will try to get revenge on you.
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  Most of them. Yeah, well, some of them run
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  away. Yeah, but most of them will try
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  to seek vengeance on you for hurting their ego, for bringing
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  shame into their life, for making them feel rejected.
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  And sometimes rejection can breed obsession.
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  When you're dealing with toxic, narcissistic people, abusive
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  people, your abusive ex, well, what are you?
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  How does this benefit you? Works in so many different
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  scenarios, but negotiations Co parenting you like you if you
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  had a mediation or in court or whatever it is when you had to
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  talk to this person, how does this benefit you?
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  You know works when you're trying to talk about money when
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  you're trying to talk about alimony or child support or
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  whatever it is splitting up the assets splitting up the house,
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  the bank accounts, whatever it is.
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  How does this benefit you How the hell you think it benefits
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  me? I'm just telling you, very
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  rarely would they just answer this question straightforward,
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  just like, look, it benefits me because if you ask them this
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  question very rarely when they just come up to you straight and
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  give you a straightforward answer, well, it benefits me
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  this way right here and it allows me to, you know, be be
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  there more for the kids. The schedule works out for me
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  better. It works out for you as well.
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  It benefits me because I want to be amicable and work with you
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  and things like that. No, very rarely will that ever
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  happen. Very rarely.
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  How does it benefit you is typically going to incite some
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  narcissistic rage and they might not be the rageful narcissist,
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  right that yells and screams. Some of some narcissists are
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  extremely passive aggressive. They don't yell and scream.
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  They silent. They they silently abuse you.
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  They abuse you in silence. And asking them this question
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  puts them on the spot and might make them reveal their true
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  character. It might make the covert nature
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  go away for a little bit because they're they're not expecting
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  this like that quit. You asked that question.
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  That's a that's a question that's coming from a place of
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  strength and power. It just is because you're asking
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  them straightforward. How does this benefit you?
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  They don't want to answer that question because as long as I
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  have my as long as I can keep the benefits inside, I feel like
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  I'm I feel like I'm in control. I feel like I have the power
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  right here, right. But if you ask that question and
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  I'm not forced to answer the question most people are not
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  going to be for, I don't, I don't mean, again, I'll follow
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  Rebecca Zong. She has more information on the
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  court system than I do. I don't know if you get forced
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  to answer this question. So most of them are not going to
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  feel forced and some of them going, well, it's not, don't
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  worry about it. Don't worry about how this
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  benefits me. We're not together anymore.
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  Why are you worried about my life?
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  Why are you worried about this? How does it benefit me?
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  How does this benefit the children?
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  How does this benefit you? How does this benefit you asking
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  this stupid ass question? How about that y'all will see a
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  narcissist true character right here and things like this when
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  when it happens in these spaces, you know, a lot of times
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  narcissistic people when they are doing going through these
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  processes and things like that, they will you know try to hurt
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  you. They will try to harm you.
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  If you have to go back to this person after this meeting is
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  over, then if you have to go back home with this person, how
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  does this benefit you? If I say at the beginning of the
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  video, use discretion because this could narcissist.
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  When a narcissist collapses, it's just like their image is
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  shattered. So if their image is shattered
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  in front of people, in front of other people, if they feel like
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  you're embarrassed them or expose them in front of other
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  people, they could, they could put you in danger.
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  That's why I said use discretion when you're asking this question
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  to make sure that you have a safe place to be or safe place
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  to go or that you protect yourself when you ask this
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  question. Because not all of them, like I
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  said, not all of them are trying to send you to the, you know, to
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  the afterworld or what not put you in the ground.
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  Some of them will though. Some of them will physically,
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  mentally, verbally abuse you more because you ask this
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  question. You put them on the spot because
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  a narcissistic collapse means that I'm exposed.
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  My intent is exposed. So that question could
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  absolutely trigger a narcissist to collapse in front of other
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  people. Like if you, if you're just
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  asking me this in private, they, you know, it can go to different
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  space, but in a situationally in front of other people would
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  think with when things matter, when things are on the line.
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  Yeah. You stand, you're in a position
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  of power right there. You can hurt me more than I can
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  hurt you, You know, so a lot of narcissists are not going to,
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  they're not going to want to stand for this type of stuff.
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  They're going to try to hurt you.
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  They're going to try to do this type of stuff right here.
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  They're going to try to keep doing this these type of things
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  because it benefits them. I'm going to try to keep my true
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  intent, but behind closed doors internally inside of me because
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  it helps protect my image. If I were to reveal my true
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  intent, then that does, you know what I mean?
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  If I were to reveal my true intent, then that I do run the
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  risk of losing my maybe my good image.
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  Like if I'm a pastor and you ask me this right here, right?
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  We got a recorded deposition or something like that.
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  And you ask me, how does this benefit you?
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  And I rage out and I'm like, like I said, I have to expose
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  myself. Then the congregation might turn
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  on me, the people like I might have a good image in the
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  community. People might turn on me when
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  people see me for who I really AM and people see that
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  narcissist for who who they really are.
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  That narcissistic person could retreat within themselves.
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  It could ruin their emotional internally, it could ruin their
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  lives, right? Maybe not financially or you
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  know, job wise, but it could ruin their social lives.
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  It could ruin their. So in like a lot of times,
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  narcissistic people get narcissistic supply from their
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  social surroundings, from people that are around them, from
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  people that surround them and things like that.
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  In these types of situations, you have to be very careful.
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  This question could work right here.
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  Y'all, That's it be very care not results may vary.
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  You know, the little asterisk on the back of packages and things
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  like that when you're taking some kind of pills, results may
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  vary. Not everybody's going to get a
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  six pack from taking from doing the AB lounge.
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  You know, not everybody's going to, you know, putting on
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  Jordan's shoes and not going to make everybody dunk like Michael
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  Jordan or extend your arm like like Michael from Space Jam.
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  That's not going to happen for everybody.
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  Results may vary and of course, use discretion.
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  If you have a a physically abusive stalk, very dangerous as
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  narcissist that you have to go home to be very careful asking
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  this question because if they collapse, that means they have
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  like sometimes with narcissistic people collapse, have a
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  narcissist that collapse. That means my image and my
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  reputation are ruined. So if some of them might feel
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  like they have nothing to live for and if they feel like they
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  have nothing to live for, then they can go on attack with you.
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  They're going to, they can go on attack and whatnot.
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  You don't want them to go on attack.
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  You just don't want them to do that.
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  You know what I mean anyways, y'all thank you for tuning into
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  another episode. I appreciate every single one of
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  y'all. Make sure you subscribe to this
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  channel and my other channel Lee dot actions, L EE dot actions
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  subscribe to both channels with growing that one over there for
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  my reaction channel and things of that nature.
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  Super thing for y'all subscribe to this channel.
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  Check out my support groups and all the other good stuff y'all.
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  And as always, mental illness is out.
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  Peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you.
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  Have no idea. If you haven't already, make
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  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
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  Help us reach more people and click on the screen to watch
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  another video or to browse through another playlist.
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  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
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  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.