Latest / If Bibles Could Talk / Stop Comparing Your Journey With Someone Else : John 21
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Imagine running a marathon, right? But you are constantly looking
- 0:03Speaker 1: sideways at the other lanes until you just like literally
- 0:06Speaker 1: trip over your own feet.
- 0:07Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly what we do practically every time we
- 0:09Speaker 2: open social media.
- 0:11Speaker 1: Right, exactly. Welcome to today's deep dive, by the way,
- 0:14Speaker 1: where we are going to really unpack this whole thing. Because,
- 0:17Speaker 1: you know, you are perfectly grateful for your life until
- 0:20Speaker 1: you see someone your age graduate or start a business
- 0:23Speaker 1: or travel the world.
- 0:24Speaker 2: Oh, and suddenly their progress becomes hard evidence that you
- 0:27Speaker 2: are falling behind. Yes.
- 0:29Speaker 1: But here is the crazy part. We're looking at a
- 0:31Speaker 1: text today that proves this is, well, it's not some
- 0:34Speaker 1: modern internet age reflex.
- 0:36Speaker 2: No, definitely not. I mean, people have been doing this forever.
- 0:40Speaker 2: We're diving into the biblical account of John 21 today
- 0:44Speaker 2: to figure out how to basically short circuit that comparison reflex.
- 0:48Speaker 1: Okay, so set the scene for us because Jesus has resurrected, right?
- 0:52Speaker 1: And he meets his disciples by the Sea of Galilee. Right.
- 0:55Speaker 2: And he restores Peter, who Remember had just denied knowing
- 0:59Speaker 2: him three times.
- 0:59Speaker 1: Right.
- 1:01Speaker 2: And Jesus gives Peter this massive personal responsibility. He tells
- 1:05Speaker 2: him to care for his sheep, speaks directly about Peter's future,
- 1:09Speaker 2: and then just simply says, follow me.
- 1:12Speaker 1: Which is, I mean, it's a huge moment.
- 1:14Speaker 2: It is. It's this ultimate life mandate. A deeply personal
- 1:19Speaker 2: conversation about love and destiny. But immediately after getting this calling,
- 1:24Speaker 2: Peter turns around, spots another disciple, points at him and asks, Lord,
- 1:30Speaker 2: what about him?
- 1:31Speaker 1: Wait, really? See, that is the part that gets me.
- 1:34Speaker 1: Why do we do this? I mean, Peter literally just
- 1:37Speaker 1: got his marching orders.
- 1:38Speaker 2: Yeah, but his immediate instinct is to look at someone
- 1:41Speaker 2: else's path.
- 1:42Speaker 1: Right. So what is happening psychologically when we deflect like that?
- 1:47Speaker 2: Well, it is basically a defense mechanism. I mean, focusing
- 1:50Speaker 2: on someone else's timeline is often a lot easier than
- 1:54Speaker 2: than sitting with the weight of our own responsibilities.
- 1:56Speaker 1: Oh, wow. That makes a lot of sense.
- 1:59Speaker 2: Yeah. But Jesus doesn't indulge it at all. His response
- 2:02Speaker 2: is brilliantly blunt. He says, if I want him to
- 2:05Speaker 2: remain alive until I return, what is that to you?
- 2:08Speaker 2: You must follow me. Wow.
- 2:09Speaker 1: That is direct.
- 2:11Speaker 2: Very. He essentially tells Peter that another person's timeline is not,
- 2:15Speaker 2: you know, a universal deadline secretly imposed on your own life.
- 2:19Speaker 1: Right. But I guess it is easy to understand Peter's
- 2:21Speaker 1: redirection in a vacuum. Peter didn't have a social media
- 2:24Speaker 1: feed bombarding him with a thousand competing timelines every single day.
- 2:28Speaker 2: That is very true.
- 2:29Speaker 1: So when you are looking at all the promotions and
- 2:31Speaker 1: the big business announcements, how do we actually override that reflex?
- 2:36Speaker 1: Because it really feels like their success is our failure.
- 2:40Speaker 2: Well, that feeling is driven by zero-sum bias. We are
- 2:44Speaker 2: hardwired to think that resources are finite. Like if you
- 2:47Speaker 2: get a piece of the pie... my piece has to
- 2:49Speaker 2: be smaller.
- 2:50Speaker 1: But that isn't true.
- 2:51Speaker 2: No, it isn't. The text actually points to Galatians 6.4,
- 2:56Speaker 2: which says we should examine our own actions instead of
- 2:59Speaker 2: measuring ourselves against someone else. It totally separates inspiration from comparison.
- 3:04Speaker 1: Okay, but those two blur together so constantly. Like, how
- 3:07Speaker 1: do you separate them when a peer just got the
- 3:09Speaker 1: exact internship that you were rejected from?
- 3:12Speaker 2: The difference is your internal narrative. Inspiration treats their success
- 3:17Speaker 2: as a data point. Like, hey, That person did something
- 3:20Speaker 2: I can learn from. Okay.
- 3:21Speaker 1: And comparison?
- 3:22Speaker 2: Comparison treats it as a verdict. It says, you know,
- 3:25Speaker 2: that person did something that proves I am not enough.
- 3:29Speaker 2: But their success literally cannot erase your potential. The successful
- 3:33Speaker 2: student's circumstances are entirely different.
- 3:36Speaker 1: I hear you, but treating it as a data point
- 3:39Speaker 1: sounds great in theory. My brain does not neatly separate
- 3:43Speaker 1: the skill from the shame when I feel inadequate. How
- 3:46Speaker 1: do I actually stop that visceral defensive reaction?
- 3:49Speaker 2: You have to consciously untangle the emotion from the information. First,
- 3:54Speaker 2: you know, don't suppress the comparison.
- 3:56Speaker 1: Wait, so just admit I'm feeling jealous.
- 3:59Speaker 2: Exactly. Acknowledge it. Label the sting. When you name the emotion,
- 4:03Speaker 2: you engage your prefrontal cortex, which biologically turns down the
- 4:07Speaker 2: defensive shame response in your amygdala.
- 4:09Speaker 1: Oh, that is fascinating. Yeah.
- 4:11Speaker 2: So once the shame is lowered, you can actually extract
- 4:14Speaker 2: the lesson. Is there a skill they have that you
- 4:17Speaker 2: genuinely need to develop? You just take the data and
- 4:20Speaker 2: leave the guild.
- 4:22Speaker 1: So you are basically turning an emotional threat into a
- 4:25Speaker 1: practical checklist.
- 4:26Speaker 2: Precisely. And then you immediately return your attention to your
- 4:29Speaker 2: own daily responsibilities. The right question is not, why am
- 4:33Speaker 2: I not where they are?
- 4:34Speaker 1: Right. It's more like, what is my next step?
- 4:37Speaker 2: Exactly. What is the next faithful, responsible step available to
- 4:41Speaker 2: me right now? That shift in focus... lets you actually
- 4:45Speaker 2: celebrate someone else's progress.
- 4:47Speaker 1: Because you no longer view their milestone as a judgment
- 4:49Speaker 1: against you.
- 4:50Speaker 2: Right. You learn to celebrate without the shame.
- 4:53Speaker 1: You know, this makes me think. Consider all the mental
- 4:56Speaker 1: energy that you are spending right now trying to decode
- 4:59Speaker 1: someone else's finish line.
- 5:00Speaker 2: It's exhausting. It is.
- 5:02Speaker 1: What if that is the exact amount of energy you
- 5:04Speaker 1: need to take your own very first step?
- 5:07Speaker 2: That is a great way to look at it. You
- 5:08Speaker 2: don't have to win a race you were never asked
- 5:10Speaker 2: to run. Stop asking, what about them? and answer the
- 5:14Speaker 2: call to your own path.
- 5:16Speaker 1: Keep your eyes in your own lane so you stop
- 5:18Speaker 1: tripping over your own feet. Thank you for joining us
- 5:21Speaker 1: on this deep dive today. Now, go focus on the
- 5:23Speaker 1: work right in front of you.