Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Spring Series: What You Need to Know About the Enneagram Eight! | Melanie Erickson

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Spring Series: What You Need to Know About the Enneagram Eight! | Melanie Erickson · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Have you found yourself saying things like, you shouldn't let people walk all over you?
0:06
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I'll just take care of it myself.
0:09
SPEAKER_00: Why doesn't she stand on her own two feet?
0:12
SPEAKER_00: Who's going to be my advocate?
0:15
SPEAKER_00: If these are something you would say, or they're familiar phrases that you hear said by your loved ones, you might be annate or no an Enneagram eight.
0:26
SPEAKER_00: I would love to invite you to join me on a journey of self-discovery and compassion to learn insights about the personality type often known as the challenger, nonconformist, protector, and the conqueror.
0:40
SPEAKER_00: And if you know an eight or want others to know about the eight personality type, go ahead and follow that prompting to share this podcast with them.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: Just use this podcast platform share feature so this episode can give others an opportunity to learn more about the value of the Enneagram 8.
1:02
SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Amy Wicks, your wholehearted living coach.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: And I'm so glad that you stopped by to spend some time with me.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: Are you curious about the Enneagram?
1:17
SPEAKER_00: Do you want to learn biblical truths?
1:19
SPEAKER_00: And have you wondered if there are life rhythms that will help you thrive?
1:23
SPEAKER_00: Well, friend, then you are in the right place.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: For six years, this podcast has focused on sharing conversations with my friends about life, business, motherhood, faith, and all things Enneagram from a Christian perspective.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: I truly understand what it's like to juggle everything as a wife, mom to three teenagers, a pup, and all-whilding a growing business.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: And friend, I haven't always done things with clarity, peace, or joy.
1:54
SPEAKER_00: But still, the Lord has taken my broken-hearted pieces and healed them so I can live with whole-hearted rhythms to provide women like you with a step-by-step process so you can get free of anxiety, shame, and frustrations that might be holding you back from thriving.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: I pray that the Lord speaks to you as you listen today and that you would invite your friends and family to join the fun conversations.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: Are you ready to laugh a little and learn a whole lot?
2:24
SPEAKER_00: Alrighty, let's get to the conversation.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: Now, what do you need to know about the Enneagram 8?
2:34
SPEAKER_00: Well, friend, we would need way more than the time you want to give in one sitting because the nuances of each Enneagram type are as unique as there are shades of color.
2:45
SPEAKER_00: But this episode will offer some highlights to help you understand more about the perspective of an 8.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: As we dive in, I want you to know that if you want more Enneagram or specific Enneagram 8 resources, I've got you covered.
3:00
SPEAKER_00: You can head to the show notes for podcast recommendations and so much more.
3:06
SPEAKER_00: In this specific episode, I'm going to share unique traits and insights into this assertive personality.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: And then you're going to get a first-hand account of an Enneagram 8 and her experience in the self-discovery and wholehearted process.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: Last, I would love to invite you to listen all the way to the end because one of the wholehearted collective coaches, Deanna Sudum, will finish this episode with a scripture and prayer specifically for you or for you to share with your loved one.
3:36
SPEAKER_00: So, what does an Enneagram eight look like as a child?
3:40
SPEAKER_00: Well, they're definitely independent.
3:43
SPEAKER_00: They really do not like being controlled.
3:46
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes they can be perceived as loners.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: They tend to take charge and lead others, even from a young age.
3:55
SPEAKER_00: Many Enneagram 8 identify with the narrative that their childhood was cut short and they had to grow up too quickly.
4:02
SPEAKER_00: They have felt a need to be stronger than they were, and very few people, including their parents, could be trusted with their most vulnerable selves.
4:11
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes this personality type would cover their tenderness by presenting as crass, combative, and contrary.
4:18
SPEAKER_00: Ultimately, they've misunderstood that innocence, vulnerability, and trust are weaknesses.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: The desire to protect themselves evolves and grow as an Enneagram 8 continues to move through the world.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: The AIDS's decision-making strength associates them with what is known as the gut triad.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: And those in the gut triad are the eight, nine, and one.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: They have a gut reaction immediately, and then they incorporate feelings or thinking afterward.
4:58
SPEAKER_00: They strongly desire justice, fairness, or control over the outcome.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: And their reaction when things are deemed unjust, unfair, or under someone else's control will often be in the form of anger, which is their emotional struggle.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: And while AIDS do struggle with anger, it's often channeled towards their zealous passion for protecting, defending, and championing others.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: The AIDS communication preference falls within the assertive stance in the Enneagram, which means they are future focused and are oriented to what must be accomplished next.
5:36
SPEAKER_00: And this might create a lack of contentment with their station in life, authority, opportunity, goals, or even a lack of ability to celebrate what is good and flourishing right now or within their four walls.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: When it comes to expressing feelings, it's essential to understand that the eight is feeling repressed.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: This might seem rude or even incongruent because of their passion, but here's the deal.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: Passion itself is not a full range of emotion.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: It's purely one emotional expression.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: The eight is invited to be cognizant of their tendency to love or hate it, and then be willing to live in the middle space of just being okay with it.
6:23
SPEAKER_00: When faced with loss and grief, the eight may naturally grieve what will happen in the future.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: So in the face of loss, they may have already grieved that moment that they're in, and they're ready to move on to the next thing.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: Or they may be grieving about the loss that is coming in the future.
6:42
SPEAKER_00: Like all Enneagram types, the eight's wings are on either side of its number on the diagram.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram 8-wing 7 tends to be more extroverted, enterprising, energetic, quick, materialistic, interested in power, and egocentric.
6:59
SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram 8-wing 9 tends to be more mild-mannered, gentle, receptive.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: They enjoy their comforts, are people-oriented, and they tend to lend their quiet strength on the regular.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: When innate's triggers are activated, they may self-sabotage and engage the low side of the five, becoming secretive and fearful that others will betray them.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: They're less in touch with their feelings and withdraw from others, which may inadvertently cut off good relationships or build a wall towards those relationships.
7:32
SPEAKER_00: When innate practices rhythms of consenting to stillness, it naturally teaches the subconscious restraint.
7:40
SPEAKER_00: And in restraint, the eight can better discern what the Lord is compelling them to do.
7:45
SPEAKER_00: And this opens the door to encounter Jesus, the true protector.
7:51
SPEAKER_00: Their broken-hearted moments are transformed into wholehearted healing as they declare these truth statements.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: May I be open-hearted, may I be loving, and may I be vulnerable.
8:04
SPEAKER_00: When Annate deliberately consents to stillness, it's not a matter of acquiescence, but rather a submission to trusting God.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: Instead of overdoing it or using it as an assertive posture in prayer, resting in peace creates vulnerability with our creator.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: These spiritual rhythms engage the quality traits of the Enneagram, too.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: I love that A.J.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: Sherrill advises in his book, The Enneagram for Spiritual Formation, that the season in the church calendar that an eight should most intentionally engage is Pentecost, because it serves to remind them that God cares about justice even more than they do.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: In addition to spiritual rhythms, here are three practical tips for an Enneagram eight to remember.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: First, regularly find a physical activity which gives a positive outlet to your energy.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: Second, pause for 10-second intervals frequently to slow down your reactive impulse and move to responsive engagement with others.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: And third, practice vulnerable conversations.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: Even though this might initially cause some anxiety, over time this can become more natural and comfortable.
9:19
SPEAKER_00: Would you like to meet an Enneagram 8?
9:22
SPEAKER_00: Let me introduce one of my clients, Melanie Ericsson.
9:25
SPEAKER_00: I'm so grateful for her trust over this last year and even more thankful that she is willing to share some of her story with you.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: Hi, my name is Melanie Ericsson.
9:35
SPEAKER_02: Proud to be a Canadian, born and raised in the Prairie Provinces, now residing in the small rural town called Athabasca in northern Alberta, or as we call it, God's country up here.
9:47
SPEAKER_02: I am an interior and landscape designer through education, but it's mainly a natural thing for me.
9:53
SPEAKER_02: I live with a verocious desire for learning anything new or what I simply don't know about yet, and have acquired a special passion for examining the Bible and its all its continuous and timely revelations.
10:04
SPEAKER_02: It's truly the living word of God I have discovered.
10:08
SPEAKER_02: I am a senior now by public decoration and birthdays over the hill and ready to retire.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: Ah no that's not me.
10:15
SPEAKER_02: Oh sure.
10:16
SPEAKER_02: I'll take all the perks and discounts, but I like the hills.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: We call them mountains here.
10:21
SPEAKER_02: Especially getting to the other side.
10:23
SPEAKER_02: It's so rewarding.
10:25
SPEAKER_02: At least my experience has proven such.
10:28
SPEAKER_02: And retire?
10:29
SPEAKER_02: Well that's a typo.
10:30
SPEAKER_02: I spell retire R E F I R E New Season.
10:36
SPEAKER_02: New focus.
10:37
SPEAKER_02: Keeps all my energy directed in all the right places.
10:40
SPEAKER_02: It's bottled, you know.
10:42
SPEAKER_02: So I never run out.
10:44
SPEAKER_02: So for close to forty years, I have been married to the same easygoing jack of all trades, Eneagram Nine Farmer.
10:52
SPEAKER_02: Together we have pursued many things, accomplished much, sacrificed more, and failed at many of the most important things like relationships.
11:01
SPEAKER_02: But by God's grace we are wiser and forever grateful for it all.
11:06
SPEAKER_02: Our greatest joy by far is our four now grown and married children, their spouses and the eleven beautiful, fun, loving grandchildren they have blessed us with.
11:16
SPEAKER_02: Immediate family and its connection has and will continue to be a major priority for us both.
11:22
SPEAKER_02: And so my Enneagram journey begins here.
11:25
SPEAKER_02: I was introduced to the Enneagram as a member of a local woman's board.
11:30
SPEAKER_02: Our director was using this tool as a way to understand her employees and them each other.
11:36
SPEAKER_02: As a former true colors and personality dimensions facilitator with experience in both disc and mire breaks, I was naturally intrigued by this Enneagram concept, its origin and application.
11:50
SPEAKER_02: I read my director's book, the author and title escaped me, wrote some notes to go with it.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: It seemed both interesting yet confusing at the time.
12:00
SPEAKER_02: I didn't type myself.
12:02
SPEAKER_02: I returned the book, and that was that.
12:05
SPEAKER_02: Fast forward ten years or so when I met an extended family member at a large evangelical conference, mentioning she and her hobby were taking Enneagram electives to better understand each other, as she put it.
12:19
SPEAKER_02: My internal gut response led me to revisit and research the whole Enneagram thing in its entirety, as a goal of mutual understanding resonated with me too, especially with my husband.
12:30
SPEAKER_02: Communication for me was rough and tough.
12:33
SPEAKER_02: Intimacy was a foreign word.
12:35
SPEAKER_02: My truce seemed to lead to conflict, an unhealthy assertive stance I now know, which led to chaos and hurt, which resulted in withdrawal, silence often accompanied by shame and guilt, and distancing for a time until at least the next time press repeat and repeat.
12:56
SPEAKER_02: Not much understanding, just a lot of ingrained self-defeating reactions.
13:01
SPEAKER_02: I later learned that being tough wasn't going to get me the love I desired, but being vulnerable would to not fight a battle I couldn't win on my own, but let God fight that battle for me was key.
13:14
SPEAKER_02: So with a sincere desire to be and do better, I Googled lots, read even more books, took all the tests, they were pretty accurate for me, either I was an eight or a five, and completed a series of self-directed courses, also listening to a myriad of podcasts.
13:33
SPEAKER_02: It all seemed daunting, actually overwhelming, and being no closer to my goal, I was deflated, but not defeated, because deep down I knew the only way this fluid and fascinating nine point circle was going to be different than all my previous attempts to know myself and others was through a biblical perspective.
13:53
SPEAKER_02: God's influence through, in, with, and around me was the change maker.
13:59
SPEAKER_02: My best thinking got me this far, and it certainly wasn't where I wanted to be.
14:04
SPEAKER_02: I just couldn't seem to find that mountain peak.
14:07
SPEAKER_02: I could climb it no problem, but not plant myself long enough to maintain any lasting experience, let alone savor the view or envision victory.
14:17
SPEAKER_02: The pain of where I was led me to seek outside help.
14:22
SPEAKER_02: Acknowledging this was a defining moment for me.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: It was the catalyst to my repair and rewiring.
14:29
SPEAKER_02: I needed guidance, facilitated action plans and accountability.
14:34
SPEAKER_02: In hindsight, I was really only asking for a blood transfusion when in fact God knew better and gifted me with a heart transplant.
14:44
SPEAKER_02: So I Googled and searched the net yet again and came upon the whole hearted Enneagram summit.
14:52
SPEAKER_02: And there was Amy, front and center, her contagious smile, fun laugh, and warm hearted nature stirred me, but it was further listening to her and her teachings that her true passion, depth, and dedication to the Enneagram from a biblical viewpoint sold me as the coach for me.
15:12
SPEAKER_02: May I mention, she too has an Enneagram husband, and I thought she could possibly have tips to help me fix mine.
15:20
SPEAKER_02: Amy held space for me.
15:22
SPEAKER_02: I felt heard she guided me to articulate thoughts and feelings I couldn't find words for, and she always reminded me of my position as a child of God.
15:32
SPEAKER_02: That he would never leave or betray me, but protect me, and I could always trust him.
15:38
SPEAKER_02: We reasoned together, often with profound results.
15:41
SPEAKER_02: We shared resources.
15:43
SPEAKER_02: We prayed together.
15:44
SPEAKER_02: Okay, Amy did all the praying, and I was the blessed recipient.
15:48
SPEAKER_02: For me, the whole coaching experience was a divine encounter.
15:52
SPEAKER_02: I didn't realize that until many times after the fact, and often it was emotionally moving for me, seldom seen as an outward expression on my part, but truly there nonetheless I knew.
16:05
SPEAKER_02: As much as I thrive on a challenge, what I needed was to be championed, or at least my heart did.
16:11
SPEAKER_02: And Amy was always there for me.
16:14
SPEAKER_02: She softened the process to wholeness with honest, thought provoking questions I could ponder, and I seriously did.
16:22
SPEAKER_02: She was the vessel to renew my mind with compassion, even humility, to see motive behind one's actions, not just the behavior itself.
16:31
SPEAKER_02: The why, not just the what.
16:34
SPEAKER_02: Truly for a large portion of my life I had felt misunderstood or at least misplaced, especially as a woman.
16:42
SPEAKER_02: Too much, too fast, too bold, too strong too everything.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: And holding back or being less than who I was of not my beloved self was a solution for me.
16:56
SPEAKER_02: But not.
16:58
SPEAKER_02: I felt Amy got me, really got me, and she helped me get me, and for that I am truly grateful.
17:06
SPEAKER_02: What I know for sure now is that I am a strong, I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength, and confident eight woman with an adventurous, fun loving seven wing.
17:19
SPEAKER_02: I truly appreciate more where I am at at any given moment, where I've been and where I'm going.
17:26
SPEAKER_02: My contentment quotient has been raised.
17:29
SPEAKER_02: Alleluia.
17:30
SPEAKER_02: Five is certainly my stress path as withdrawing and seeking intellectual solace is comfortable.
17:37
SPEAKER_02: But I'm curious now, not condemning of my wounded child, and I'm learning to accept God's truths and promises over the lies that they may creep out.
17:46
SPEAKER_02: Are they true?
17:48
SPEAKER_02: Are they helpful?
17:50
SPEAKER_02: Are they kind?
17:52
SPEAKER_02: I ask myself.
17:54
SPEAKER_02: EIP or any internal profile has given me a life-saving rhythm.
18:00
SPEAKER_02: I now intentionally know and choose to move forward to my two that being vulnerable to those I trust right now is my strength, and this alone has been my greatest growth path of Barnon.
18:12
SPEAKER_02: I can honestly say out loud, with sincere meaning, that I love my husband for who he is, and his presence truly matters to me.
18:23
SPEAKER_02: The not so long ago, two segmented fragments are becoming one flesh.
18:31
SPEAKER_02: We have laid bare our true self, and what a healing journey we are still on.
18:38
SPEAKER_02: I'm excited for the latter part of my life, as I now prioritize my heart care much better.
18:45
SPEAKER_02: I find rest with God in music, nature, and his word, and I choose to make a difference, to live wholeheartedly.
18:53
SPEAKER_02: I so get it now, Amy.
18:55
SPEAKER_02: With and for God, by guiding others, challenging them to move forward as I have been.
19:01
SPEAKER_02: Maybe someday I will coach too.
19:03
SPEAKER_02: All the possibilities are out there for me.
19:06
SPEAKER_02: We all have a story within God's big story, and he's in control and I'm not.
19:11
SPEAKER_02: Amen.
19:13
SPEAKER_02: What an adventure.
19:15
SPEAKER_02: Isaiah forty thirty one.
19:17
SPEAKER_02: Those who hope on the Lord will renew their strength.
19:21
SPEAKER_02: They will soar with wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will not walk and not be faint.
19:29
SPEAKER_02: That's seven thousand feathers of sheer power under control.
19:33
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
19:35
SPEAKER_02: And I will close with Micah 68.
19:39
SPEAKER_02: What does the Lord require of me?
19:41
SPEAKER_02: To act justly, to love mercy, and walk humbly with my God.
19:49
SPEAKER_01: Type 8 friend, this is Deanna Sudom.
19:53
SPEAKER_01: You have been created to be a protector and reflect the power of God.
19:58
SPEAKER_01: As it says in Isaiah 1, learn to do right, seek justice, defend the oppressed, take up the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.
20:09
SPEAKER_01: These are the things that come naturally to you as justice rises up.
20:13
SPEAKER_01: I sense that God wants you to lean into Him and trust Him to be these things for you.
20:19
SPEAKER_01: As it says in Psalm 16, verses 5 to 8, Lord, you alone are my portion and my cup.
20:27
SPEAKER_01: You make my lot secure.
20:29
SPEAKER_01: The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: Surely I have a delightful inheritance.
20:36
SPEAKER_01: I will praise the Lord who counsels me.
20:39
SPEAKER_01: Even at night my heart instructs me.
20:42
SPEAKER_01: I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
20:44
SPEAKER_01: With him at my right hand I will not be shaken.
20:48
SPEAKER_01: Father, thank you for the hearts of the protectors.
20:51
SPEAKER_01: Lord, I thank you that they often pave the way in justice, that they lead without apology, and they have discernment for things that need to be accomplished.
21:00
SPEAKER_01: But Lord, I ask that you will assure them that they are protected, that you will not betray them, that you will show them where you want them to enter into situations, and if certain issues belong to them or not.
21:14
SPEAKER_01: God, thank you that you are their portion and their cup, that you make their lot secure.
21:19
SPEAKER_01: They do not have to worry.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: Lord, temper their confidence with humility, their self-assertiveness with vulnerability, so they can trust their boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places, and surely they have a delightful inheritance in you.
21:34
SPEAKER_01: Thank you that you will go before them, Lord, and you will be their rear guard.
21:38
SPEAKER_01: Father, nurture the seeds of leadership you have planted.
21:42
SPEAKER_01: Surround them with people that can speak straight to them, to confront or challenge, but also to comfort and encourage.
21:49
SPEAKER_01: Lord, help them to have open hands to receive your instruction and to trust that you ultimately are in control, that you are God and they are not, and there is ease in releasing things to you.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for their passion.
22:04
SPEAKER_01: May you refine it to be in alignment with yours.
22:07
SPEAKER_01: Bless them, Lord, I pray, in Jesus' name.
22:11
SPEAKER_01: Amen.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
22:13
SPEAKER_00: Now, if you're in Enneagram 8, I hope you feel loved, seen, and blessed by this episode.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: And I'm guessing if you know an eight, they're going to appreciate that you've taken the time to learn more about how they view the world the way they do, and that they are so much more than just a number.
22:31
SPEAKER_00: I'd love for you to share this episode with them and a message about how you value their tenacious spirit.
22:37
SPEAKER_00: Remember, I've got loads more about the Enneagram 8.
22:41
SPEAKER_00: So if this just barely wet your appetite, well then dive into the show notes where I've got a lot of information for you to check out.
22:49
SPEAKER_00: Next week will be what you need to know about the Enneagram 9.
22:54
SPEAKER_00: Until then, friend, continue to pursue God's perspective, purpose, and plans for your simply wholehearted life.