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Who is in the INNER CIRCLE of a narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, Beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about the inner circle of a
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  narcissist and toxic person. Like the inner circle have
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  people closer to them. Certain people get treated
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  differently than other people that are close to them.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  The Narcissist Code. Welcome back folks, welcome
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  back, welcome back. Yes, yes, yes.
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  Narcissistic toxic people. The inner circle, the inner
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  inner circle in the narcissist tax person's life, like we all
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  know. I think it's an acknowledgement
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  that everybody will understand. If you dealt with a narcissist
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  or tax person, you understand that you are probably getting
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  treated differently. The other people that are close
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  to the narcissist, right, Like you, even though you might be
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  their husband or wife or son or daughter or whatever you might
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  be, you might play a, you might have a close role to them,
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  right? But they treat you differently
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  than they treat everybody else, right?
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  That's because there are different layout, different
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  layers of the inner circle. Like there are certain people,
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  the narcissist narcissist don't treat everybody bad.
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  I think we all, I think a lot of people understand it and not not
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  everybody in a narcissist life is going to get treated bad by
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  the narcissist, right? They have they have friends that
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  they could have friends for years.
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  They treated good Co workers. Yeah, they have a lot of
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  narcissist. Not all of them have good
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  reputations. A lot of narcissist have good
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  reputations out in public. Like so there are people out
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  there that actually like that actually like your husband or
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  your wife or your mom or your dad, whoever this is your
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  brother, your sister, whoever this is, right?
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  There are people out there that like them, right?
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  So if there's people out there that like them, why don't, why
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  can't they just treat you the same way they treat them because
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  you're too close to them, y'all? It's going to sound so weird.
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  You have the most power over them.
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  And again, I know it sounds weird.
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  I know it sounds kind of, I know it sounds kind of up to so we're
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  not. But like, the closer you are to
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  them, like, the more you can hurt them.
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  Like you know them behind the curtain.
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  Other people may have seen flashes of it, right?
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  Other people in their life may have seen like little flashes of
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  the toxicity, little flashes of who they are, little flashes of
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  who they represent and who they can be.
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  You seen the whole bang. You see the whole Sonic boom.
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  You see the whole neutron star collapse.
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  You seen The Big Bang. You seen The Big Bang in their
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  life. You know exactly who they are,
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  so the closer you are to them, the further they push you.
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  Or y'all know? Y'all know my analogy?
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  It's like they push you the closer you are, they push you
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  away but they're like grab you by the collar so you can never
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  fully get away from them. Like it's kind of like they know
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  who you are, you know who they are, and they just got you by
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  the collar so you can't leave them, but they don't treat you
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  well enough for you to stay. It's crazy how that works, isn't
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  it? Like there are different layers
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  of the inner circle. Yeah, the narcis might provide
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  for you, they might care for you, they might do whatever.
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  But they still treat you badly. Like you get the the least of
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  them. You get the least of them, their
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  friends, whoever else is out there, they get the best version
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  of this narcissist of the of your partner while you get the
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  least of them, which sucks. And y'all know this sucks.
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  You know, you understand it sucks so bad dealing with this
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  type of person when they are out here just being manipulative,
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  when they are out here being abusive without here being
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  tricks, you know, being tricksters and whatever.
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  But they come home like they're doing that to you at home.
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  But out in public, they're they're, they're singing a whole
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  different tune, aren't they? Out in public, they're saying in
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  an entirely different tune out in public, they're treating you
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  like you said out in public. They're treating you good in
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  public. But behind the scenes that you
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  need badly, like behind the scenes, they're lying to you,
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  they're cheating on you. They're cussing you out.
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  They're being abusive as hell to you.
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  They're doing a lot of manipulative things behind the
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  scenes, but in front of in front of everybody else, they treat
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  them good. Like the closer you all like if
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  you're outside there in the circle, it doesn't take as much
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  emotional energy for them to build a good reputation.
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  All they have to do a lot of times is be cordial and not act
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  a monkey, right? But for the, the closer you are,
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  the more energy they have to expend to be, to pretend to be a
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  good person to, to, to hold up their reputation.
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  The closer you are to a narcissist, the more energy that
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  they have to expend in order to keep up the facade.
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  Unless you live with them, right?
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  Unless behind the scenes you are with them, but behind the scenes
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  they give you as little. Is there low effort at the
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  house? They're high effort, high energy
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  with everybody else, but they're super low effort with you.
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  Like Lee. But why the hell do they do
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  this? All we want to do is love them.
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  All I want to do is be one with them and try to build this life
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  together. And just, you know, I miss my
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  Mama. Mama.
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  I had to cut my mom off because she treated me badly.
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  She, they tortured my mom, tortured me when I was younger
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  and expected me expect the same thing to happen as an adult.
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  But I ain't we ain't putting it with it as an adult.
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  Hell no, I ain't doing it as an adult.
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  This is the space where you have to fall into and understand
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  they're like it's not your fault you get treated this way y'all.
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  It absolutely isn't. So many people start taking the
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  blame for how that narcissist or talk to the person is treating
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  them. It's not your fault.
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  It's just the fact that you're close to them and you can hurt
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  them. They you are like to them.
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  They treat you like you don't have any power but they do it a
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  lot of times because you have too much.
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  A lot of times you seen them be vulnerable.
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  A lot of times you know who they are behind the scenes and some
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  sometimes you have the ability to ruin their life and their
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  reputation. So they believe if that was
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  true, why don't, why don't they just treat us better?
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  Because it gives them more power not to.
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  They want to be low effort to treat you good.
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  They have to be high effort, high energy.
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  They want to be low effort. It's more it's, it's easier to
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  try to manipulate you and to get you to doing the things that I
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  want you to do as opposed to just trying to go out here in
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  the in the open. And like I said, to go hard as
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  hell to treat you good. And I'm now I'm exhausted.
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  I'm emotionally exhausted, maybe not physically exhausted, but
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  I'm emotionally exhausted every single day from not only having
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  to keep this reputation up in public, but to come home and do
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  the same thing. So that's what I'm saying like
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  narcissistic people where they want to be good people, they can
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  be good people and typically they don't want to do it for
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  you. And that sucks and it's not your
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  fault. It's not because you're worth
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  the less, I'm promise you. It's not because that this
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  pathetic person is still with me so I'm going to treat them
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  badly. That's not the mindset behind
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  it, y'all. Most of the time the mindset
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  behind it is this person is doing this and doing that.
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  And I like I said, this person knows too much.
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  So I have to keep them at arm's length as so they can't hurt me.
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  I can't let them go because they can hurt me.
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  They they tell too much information on me.
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  So also that's why you see these people trying to gather Intel on
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  you, trying to get, trying to catch you reacting on camera,
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  trying to get you reacting in public or something like that,
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  trying to get you crying and yelling and screaming and
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  throwing stuff and whatnot at them.
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  They want to catch you in the act so they can play the victim
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  here. They would love to be able to
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  play the victim with you like the other people.
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  Like look how crazy my wife is. Look how crazy my husband is.
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  Look how crazy this person is, right?
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  Look how crazy. Look how crazy they're being.
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  Look how they're treating me. Look how they're behaving.
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  Look how they're acting. They got you on camera.
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  They got you doing this and got you doing it.
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  This is the mindset of narcissistic toxic ass people
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  and this type of stuff will continue to happen.
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  It just doesn't go away, y'all. But Lee, how can we make it go
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  away? It only goes away if you and it
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  doesn't even go away if you leave.
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  But it only goes away if they decide to work on themselves.
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  They have to be. They have to make the
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  conscientious effort to go talk to a therapist and then sit down
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  and want to work on themselves. Believe they they refuse to go.
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  Am I not worth enough? Y'all?
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  Why you keep attaching your value to something that they do,
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  whether whether or not they decide to do something, they're,
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  they think their value is low, so they don't want to go get
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  help, right? They think that their own value
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  is so low that it's so pointless that they themselves don't want
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  to go get help. So they they would rather just
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  try to change you then change themselves.
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  It's easier to, it sounds crazy, doesn't it?
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  It's easier to change you than it is for them to change
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  themselves, so that's why they spend so much time, effort and
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  energy on changing you. Like changing how you act,
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  changing how you behave, as opposed to them trying to change
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  who they are at their core. Again, y'all if I'm broken
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  record but it's not your fault. Y'all got a kids book.
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  If y'all have kids, I have a kids book.
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  It's got remember, it's not your fault.
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  It's a, it's a conversation starter with your kids about not
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  taking blame for how their how their parent is behaving, not
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  thinking, but it's not my fault that my dad and my mom wasn't
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  there, that my dad and my mom didn't treat me like didn't
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  treat me well. It's not my fault.
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  You know, I was just a kid. I couldn't defend myself.
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  I couldn't protect myself. You were just a kid.
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  If your, if your parent is the one treating you like this, you
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  understand it as well. It's not your fault if your
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  partner is treating you like this now, unless you are here
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  doing some craziness, unless you are here just being wild and
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  cheating consistently and lying and gaslighting and stealing
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  from them, then it's not your fault either.
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  He's he's upset unless you do the same things to them that
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  they're doing to you, it's not your fault.
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  And a lot of times y'all start reacting to them because they
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  they struck first, right? They struck first and they keep
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  and they they're still striking. You know, they struck first and
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  they're still striking. They refuse to stop striking.
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  I know you tired, but man, that Lee, I'm tired.
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  You know they say God, God gives his toughest battle to the
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  strongest soldiers. But Lee, I'm tired, I'm tired.
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  I'm ready to lay down my sword, you know, but this is the space
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  that so many people fall into. Y'all thank y'all for riding
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  with me to the end of this video.
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  If you haven't already, don't take accountability for how they
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  are treating you because they will try to can make you take
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  accountability for what they are doing to you, for what they're
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  putting you through. They will try to make you take
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  the blame, make you take the accountability, make you feel a
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  certain type of way about how they are behaving, how they are
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  treating you. Don't do it.
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  It's not your fault, it just absolutely isn't y'all.
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  But anyway, y'all, they all make to the end.
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  Make sure you haven't already hit that subscribe button and
• 10:46
  also at the end of the video because I may have to post it
• 10:48
  again later on. November 2nd In November 3rd
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  will be in Dallas, TX and Houston, TX for our next live in
• 10:56
  person events. November 2nd.
• 10:58
  November 3rd, 2024. You can register check it out at
• 11:02
  mentalillness.net/events or you can actually you can find it
• 11:06
  mental illness.com mental mental illness.net/events.
• 11:11
  If you made it this far, you can enter the code mental 10 for 10%
• 11:14
  off, give you a nice little 10% discount or whatever.
• 11:16
  It's still it's not very highly priced man, people charging 3,
• 11:19
  four, $500.00 for workshops and stuff like that.
• 11:21
  There's nowhere near that we got to fly in and all this other
• 11:23
  stuff, you know, job. So the channel I'm out peace.
• 11:27
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
• 11:31
  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 11:33
  to the channel helps reach more people and click on the screen
• 11:36
  to watch another video or to browse to another playlist.
• 11:38
  There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
• 11:41
  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.