Latest / The Steve & Jeff Show / S2 E11 - Steve and Jeff Marriage Counseling

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S2 E11 - Steve and Jeff Marriage Counseling · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_04: Previously, on the Steve and Jeff show, we were not canceled, Jeff.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_04: No, Mormons Don't Drink.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_04: I didn't know that was an option.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like I was there.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, she was eaten by crabs.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_04: Well, I don't care about her private life, but I digress.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_04: Mr.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_04: X.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it would be crazy if it wasn't 100% true.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_05: That's crazy.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, that's amazing.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_03: If you spell Amazon backwards, it spells Nozama.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_04: Well, it's impossible to know, really.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_04: If it's not me, what is it?
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_03: Soylent Green.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_04: I'm not talking about my private life.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_04: The one at 40th and Dodge?
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's right next to my apartment.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_04: And that's how zombies are made.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_04: They went after Oprah.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_03: Especially if it's undercooked.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_03: I'm probably the most wanted man in Omaha.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_04: I walk a little like a zombie.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_04: They're coming to get you, Barbara.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_04: We will keep this all confidential, Jeff.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_04: I'll cut out all the times I called him Scott Brown.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_04: That's what they want you to think.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_04: Guests of the Steven Jeff show stay at the splashy and technically overrated Farnham Hotel, mixing outdated tradition with deferred maintenance.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_04: If it ain't broke, it ain't the Farnum.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_04: Well, Jeff, it may be a conspiracy, but it's no theory.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_04: We're back.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_04: Good to see it.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_04: Hard to believe.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_04: It is hard to believe because so many times we were this close.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_04: We were on audio, so no one could see it, but we were this close to being that looks like about eight inches, Steve.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_04: That's what she said.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_04: But I digress.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_04: Jeff, we are still here.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_04: We have survived.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_04: The sponsors didn't go away.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_05: It's been a busy week.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_05: I think I need to congratulate you, Steve.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_05: Is this your anniversary?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_05: I know it's not our anniversary yet, but is this is it was it your anniversary?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_04: Well, you should ask, Jeff.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_04: It is coming up here in a little bit, not quite there yet, but it is coming up in a little bit.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, it's been 32 years, or will be 32 years when it comes up.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_05: And I just celebrated my 40th with Kathy.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_05: Three good ones, but 40 years.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_05: It's gone by.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_05: It only seems like eight or nine decades.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_05: It does.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_05: No, I it does.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_05: No, I get it.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_05: It seems like of all the things you do in your life, marrying correctly and making a marriage work might be the most important thing that somebody could do.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_04: I am so glad you said that because you know, my mom is in her 90s and she's got this new baby.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_04: She needs some fun.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_04: I go and I have some drinks with her.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, she was just telling me just the other day, you know, Steve, what have you done with your life?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_04: And I said, you know, mom, other than wishing we still had that 65 impala that you used to drive, other than that, mom, I think the best thing I did is I married up.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_05: That's really true.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_04: Some said no, of course.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_04: She said, No, you didn't, but you know, yeah, it's she's so charming into the pop-up.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_04: You know, she's just come on.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's funny because like we were all like getting so serious and so personal.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_05: But when we celebrate our 40th, which was just recently, you know, I was talking to Kath.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_05: For some reason, I went into the bedroom and I found this shoebox.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_05: And I don't remember seeing it, but I saw the shoe box, it was on her side of the closet.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_05: Let me guess, Jeff, it contained shoes.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_05: It did not.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_05: I was thinking um that it was some kind of drugs or something.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know, I didn't want to open it because I felt like it was kind of private, you know, and she had never really shared it to me.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_05: And I asked her, you know, can we shoes are sounds like this, man?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_04: You know, they're very oh yeah.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_05: So she said, No problem, you can open it.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_05: And I opened it up, and there's this crochet doll and$95,000 in cash.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_05: Oh my gosh.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_05: I know.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_05: You know, I was really confused and I was like, what's this?
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_05: And she said, Well, my mom always told me when I got married that the secret to happy marriage was never to argue.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_05: And she said that if you are starting to argue and you get upset, just crochet a doll.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_05: That's what she would do, and then that would kind of calm you down and you'd be okay.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_05: So that's what Kathy did.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_05: And I looked, and there's only one crochet doll.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_05: We've been married 40 years.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_05: So I'm good for you, Jeff.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_04: I know that's a win.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_05: Totally.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_05: So my reaction, yeah, I was so happy.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_05: And I said, you know, I can't believe I've only had one issue in 40 years.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_05: And I said, Well, what's the$95,000 for?
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_05: And she said, Oh, that's the money that I made from selling all the other dolls.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_04: Oh now that makes sense, Jeff.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_05: But the point is, you know, that we we do have a good marriage and it's important to help people.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_05: Don't you agree?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_04: And Jeff, I couldn't agree more.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_04: And in fact, I am so glad you brought that up, Jeff, because tonight on our show, we're going to show our listeners.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_04: Jeff, let's let's be honest.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_04: The millions of listeners.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, come on, let's be honest.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_04: The millions of listeners.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_04: We are going to show them, or at least tell them, just exactly how we can help people with their marriage.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_04: Because I think, Jeff, one thing that we have done really well is we got these good marriages.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_04: So I think we should spread what we know about good marriage to others who maybe are having trouble, or maybe they're not quite where we are as far as good marriage, you know.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_04: Totally.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_04: And I've also heard there's some really good money in marriage counseling.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_04: So, ladies and gentlemen, we have started a new service.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_04: We're going to actually do live marriage counseling on the show tonight.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_04: Jeff is so exciting.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_04: But first, Johnny, tell us about that new business.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_04: Right, Steve?
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_04: Do you want a better relationship with your partner, but are worried you may have to make some changes in yourself?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_04: Well, worry no more.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_04: Get counseling with Steve and Jeff's Your Fault Marriage Counseling.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_04: At Your Fault, our team of unlicensed former baristas can set your relationship on the right course without requiring any personal responsibility at all.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_04: You know that the problems are all with your spouse, right?
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_04: Let us prove it.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_04: Visit your fault.com to start your journey to marital bliss.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_04: I think Johnny really did something beautiful there, and I think we owe it to our listeners.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_04: And really, Jeff, we owe it to society.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_04: We owe it to the world to spread that good news.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like we've already helped people just by doing that commercial.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, exactly.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_04: Just by playing that commercial.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_04: The world is a better place.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, it is.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_04: But I digress.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_04: Jeff, we can actually do something good for very specific people who are here.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_04: Just the other side of that glass.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_04: Here, let me tap it.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_04: Just I see a couple.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_04: They're a couple that came to our Steve and Jeff Your Fault Marriage Counseling.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_04: Jeff, I'd like to introduce Lori and Steve Manchin.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_04: They would like our help.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_04: Hi, Lori and Steve.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_04: Hey, Lori and Steve.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my gosh, hi.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much, Steve and Jeff, for having us on.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, we're so excited to meet you.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_04: And of course, they're fans of the show.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, big fans.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_06: We're really excited for you to get our marriage just right back on track again.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_04: Joe, that is exactly what we can do.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_04: Wait, I'm sorry.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_04: Uh Joe.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_04: Whoever.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, you can call me Joe.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_04: Joe, okay.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_04: Joe, that is exactly what we want to do.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_04: We just are so glad that you're on the show.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_04: Like any counseling session, this is a safe place.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_04: You can say anything to us or to each other, and there's no judgment.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_05: That's right.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_05: It's completely private, completely, completely intimate.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_05: You know, just us and our listeners.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_04: And I assure you, if you say anything too personal, I will edit it out.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_04: I think that honesty is just really it's a key to starting off on the right foot.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_04: So tell us a little bit about who you are.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_06: Dude, we're like average people.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_06: I work at a marijuana dispensary and Lori, she's a stay-at-home mom raising our two beautiful children.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: Steve they're amazing.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_06: Two babies.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, I bet they are.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_06: Joe Jr.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: and Lori Jr.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_06: Yep.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, that's so sweet.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_06: We're in Peoria, Illinois, and you know, we met in high school in a small town called Round Table.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_06: I actually met Jeff.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh, just tell him about that.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_02: Do you?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you know this, Jeff.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_02: Do you know this?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: No.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, it's it's a legend in our house.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_06: Came into the store to buy some gummies, and you know, all the dispensaries in Peoria ended up in my store.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_06: And you know, huge.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_06: And I was gonna say to you, the gummies are a great option, but you gotta think about that sugar intake.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_06: We have some other products that you might want to consider in the future.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_06: We have a cannabis-infused pizza sauce, so you put that on and then you bake it, and then you get baked.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_06: It's like bacon bake.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, like bacon bake.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, I guess we got some weed beef jerky, we call it weaf jerky.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_06: That's exceptional as well.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_06: We also got this product that it's basically like weed-infused tampons, they're they're suppositories, but uh, it's it's like nature's solution to my doll, but doesn't have to be just for women.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_04: I'd be willing to try one of those.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_06: What the heck?
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_05: Well, me too.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_05: And if I had known before our wedding anniversary, what a gift that would have been for Kathy, that would have been so perfect.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_05: Sounds very exciting.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_05: Steve, I have a feeling I know how they're gonna pay us.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, maybe we should plan a trip to Peoria here pretty soon.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_04: What do you think?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, yeah, you should come down.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, we gotta check that out.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_05: So, you guys, how long have you been married?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's been 10 years now.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: It's been 10 years already.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: It's been 10 years.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_07: And how's it going?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, marriage is hard, and I guess we started to struggle right before our anniversary.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_02: It's been 10 years.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_02: High school sweethearts, you change and grow.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: We kind of were drifting apart, just we weren't really talking to each other as kindly, maybe taking each other's feelings really into consideration with everything we said, you know.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_04: That 10-year mark that is very typical.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_04: That sometimes, you know, the excitement's kind of gone and the novelty's kind of gone.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_04: And very typical that that's when problems might start to it wasn't.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it wasn't our it wasn't our 10-year anniversary.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_02: No, I think it was it, it was one, it was our one-month anniversary.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_06: Are you sure it was one month?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_06: I would have said it was less than that, but you're probably right.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_02: It was an anniversary, and we started with the one-month anniversary, but thanks for correcting me right here on the show.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_02: No, it was actually just right after we got back from our honeymoon to Omaha.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, you went to Omaha for us.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_04: Right then, yeah, that is such a romantic place.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_04: Boy, you get on that Bob Carey Bridge, it's just there's nothing like it, I'll tell you.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_04: It's just so romantic.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_04: You just go across to Iowa.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_04: Go to Council Bluffs, and if you make it back, you go back on the bridge.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_04: But I digressed.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_06: Uh from Peoria and in Illinois, I'm a huge fan of pierogis.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_06: And if only there were pierogies but sold fast.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_06: And so Omaha had that solution.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_06: There you go.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_06: There you are, runza.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it was amazing.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_04: When you're struggling, can you give us an example of what that struggling was like after that one month anniversary?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_06: I guess it started, I would say, with a lot of name calling, especially during sex.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, wow, that's not good.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_05: What kind of names are we talking about?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, no, Lori, Lori.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_06: She insists on just calling me Hurt for Python Joe, Elephant Joe, you guys hear that?
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_06: She's commenting on my nose, and I know it.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_06: I'm very sensitive about that.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_07: Yeah, that's hard.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_07: That is hard.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_02: I would I to clarify, I was not insulting you and I wasn't talking about your nose.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_02: They were compliments because I liked your huge love dipstick, you know.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, I could have said we'll just add it, but we'll change that later, won't we, Steve?
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_04: You know, Jeff, the sponsors didn't balk at that Holocaust joke.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_04: I think we're good with dipstick.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_04: I think we're okay.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't say love dipstick because I thought, you know, that that might sound bad.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_02: So I called him what I thought were kind of fun, kinky names.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_02: Python Joe, big kahuna, you know.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_02: But you you kept calling me other women's names.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_02: Like you forgot what my name was or couldn't keep my your girlfriend straight.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: You you're calling me Madonna and Dolly.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_02: I am Lori.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_02: Remember?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_06: Of course, Mary.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_06: I remember your name.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_06: I called you Madonna because of the song like a virgin, you know, since you waited until we got married, and and me calling you Dolly was because of those heavenly feedbags, you know, like Dolly Parton.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_06: Okay.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_06: Well, all right, that kind of sense.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but but if I can if I can go back though, at the beginning of that, you just called me Mary.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: No, I didn't.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_02: You did, and that's my twin sister's name.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_04: So you I mean those mistakes can happen.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_04: Identical twins.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, sure.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely, yeah.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: You should think of your wife first, though.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_02: That should be the first name on the tip of your tongue, not her sister's name.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_02: I'm just, you know.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_06: Well, maybe if she wasn't over at the house so much, is what I'm saying.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_06: It's just I see her a lot, and uh, you know, you can see how I get confused on that.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_02: She comes to support me and help with the kids while you're at work.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't know that that's that big of a deal that she is over at the house.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_02: She's my sister, but okay.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_04: You know, I can see Joe and Mary that you're having some trouble.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_04: I'm starting to see some of the struggle that you've got, and you know, you've been married for a long time.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_04: There must be something that you love about each other, maybe something you've never mentioned to each other.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_04: Maybe why don't you each say one good thing to each other?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, yes, I I like I mean, I love those feedbacks you got.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_04: Good.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_04: That's important.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_04: It's a good start, yes.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, I I adore your love dipstick.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you can always check my oil, you know what I mean.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_04: I don't think she's talking about that in Pella either.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, you're making some great progress.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_04: Now, doesn't that feel good to clear the air, to get that honesty, that communication going between you?
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_02: I do appreciate that and that he appreciates me and my body, but I I just I I don't these other women's names, I mean Dolly, Madonna, Mary, there's a lot of other women's names, is all I'm saying.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_05: You know, Steve, normally, well, actually, they're they're the first people we've ever counseled, but I would think that normally at this point we would end the the counseling session on a positive note.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_05: They feel kind of good about it.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_05: But I think that we're at the point where we can actually go the next step, which is maybe to talk about things that might be bothering you, things that might be an issue.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_05: And maybe we could do the same thing, and maybe each of you, well, I know we asked you ahead of time to write down one of those secrets, something you haven't said to each other because you haven't trusted each other for a long time.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_05: And if you guys are okay, we'd like to kind of share that with each other or help you share that with each other.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_04: Jeff, that is such a great point.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_04: I we can go right from that first session to the second session and fear not, we're not going to bill you for two sessions.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_04: Although, you know, maybe we we should, but we won't.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_04: You want to go ahead?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_05: I think Lori sent me this one.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_05: Her little secret was that Lori Jr.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_05: isn't your daughter.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_05: What what the hell?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_06: What yeah, how is that even possible?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_06: Who the frick is the father then?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: I well, I uh okay.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_02: I don't get mad.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_02: The whole point of this is to do this in a safe environment where we have special counselor folks who know how to deal with this.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_02: I I've been trying to find a way to tell you, but you know, on our honeymoon we were staying at the Red Roof Inch.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_02: I went down to get some ice and I ran into the manager, Bill.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: He was so responsible, and he was, I mean, he had an entire business of his own, and and he showed me a runza and how to wrap that beef, and it was just I could get my hands right on it.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_02: And wait, okay, you remember how I wanted to call Lori Roofy, you know, like after the red roof inn?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, that was I I just wanted to give a little shout out to her daddy.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_02: That's kind of sweet, actually.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_05: You don't see a lot of kids named Roofy, you know, that'd be a really nice name.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, I don't know.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_05: It needs to kind of set in.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_05: I will tell you that I had a nose job done at a red roof end, and it was intoxicating.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_05: They were so nice, so I kind of understand how you're feeling lovable anyway, because you just got married, and then you're sort of receptive.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_05: So Joe, I would kind of think about that a little bit and sort of let it sit in.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_05: Uh Steve, do you want to share Lori's secret?
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_04: Or is it actually what Joe wrote?
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_04: Well, Joe's Joe's secret.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_04: Joe wrote that he is having an affair with Mary, Lori's twin sister.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_04: Oh.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: Are you are you are you are you for you?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: How can you do that to me?
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: Mary?
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: Mary.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_06: I have a type.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_06: What can I say?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_06: There you go.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_06: He likes your look.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_06: I mean, think about it.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_06: It's like a compliment from my love for you.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_06: She looks so much like you.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_06: It was hard to to not toss that salad, you know?
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_06: And it wasn't planned, it just happened.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_06: Oh my god, actually, it happened on the day of our wedding as well.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_06: There was just something irresistible and familiar about her.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_06: I think she has lovely feedbacks.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_04: A day of heightened emotion, certainly.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: You you were sitting here talking to me about how you don't like her over at the house?
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_02: Is that because you wanted her back at your office or in your truck or whatever?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_02: What do you mean?
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_06: No, it's like I don't want her over there because she's all up in our business.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it was a good time and we have a good time, but I'd rather separate the the two and and and deal with it.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_06: But if we're we only gonna start addressing some of this stuff, we should talk about the thermostat in the house and like the temperature that you like to keep it at, which is frigid, freaking cold, like your heart.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh my okay.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_02: How about you and the volume on the television?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_02: How about the fact that you like to keep it at 800,000 all the time, even when the kids are trying to sleep?
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: How about that?
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_02: How about that for a problem?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: Have you even thought about that?
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_06: Sorry, you wouldn't let me buy one of those 55-inch TVs from the Walmart that would actually have a good speaker system on it that would allow me to hear.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_06: Now, you want to talk about cheating?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_06: What about you Netflix cheating and watching like the next episodes of the crowd?
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, I hate it.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_06: Oh, yeah.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_06: It must have been on autoplay, and we don't have autoplay on Netflix.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's Netflix automatically.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_02: It is not like you buy autoplay because you gave all of our money to that print.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_02: And by the way, Wakanda isn't even a real play.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_02: All this money was a real thing.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_06: I saw that documentary, The Black Panther, and I'll have you know that I thought for sure that was.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_06: I've apologized for that.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_06: When are you gonna let that go?
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_06: For Christ's sake, you're constantly bringing that up.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_06: In fact, let's talk about what you post on social media and how how much we gotta share everything.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_06: Like, oh, just woke up and there happens to be my husband's left nut hanging out of those boxers that you post on Facebook, so that my boss, who I'm connected to on Facebook, sees it all in its full glory.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_06: And yeah, I gotta go talk to him about that.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_06: Luckily, he's a stoner.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_02: I think that he might find it really adorable that you care about your family and that you spend Sundays with your family.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I thought that maybe sharing our lives together would be something that you thought was nice.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_02: But of course, you couldn't ever actually support me in anything, could you?
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_02: Like when I tried to get into that, I was trying to start my own business and you didn't want to give any money to the and I could have been a diamond level contributor by now.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_06: Multi-level marketing, it's a scam.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_06: You talk about me giving to a scam, you're buying products to it is not putting on on uh on your pet.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_02: Is that what it was again?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, all of those humane society animals could have been adopted by now if I had had the the makeup and equipment to make them look better for those pictures.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_02: But no, no, I would have so many downstream contributors right now, but you don't support me in anything, do you?
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_02: Do you?
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_02: I can you know what I can start it now and then I can have my own business.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_05: Pretty pets are important, they are.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_05: I feel like we've started to make progress, but now it doesn't feel like we're heading in the right direction.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_05: What do you think, Steve?
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_04: You know, Jeff, I think we're still making progress because sometimes people just have to get through this to get to the good stuff on the other side.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_04: So they're letting it out so that they can release it and reform it and remake it and rename it and reclaim it and reboot it.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_04: Then they'll come out better on the other side, they'll come out happier or not.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_06: One question, right?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_06: Sure.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_06: What direction does the toilet paper go when you put it on the holder?
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_06: Oh no, you what direction does it go when you put it on there?
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_06: When you change that role, what direction does it go?
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_06: Just answer the question in front of God and everybody on this call right now.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_02: It doesn't matter as long as you can wipe your ass and I can be forgiven.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_06: It matters.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_06: We've got cats, and so let her know if your cats need a makeover.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, they do.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, yeah.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_04: One especially.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_06: Wow, we're through.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_05: This is done.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_05: Steve, sometimes the end doesn't have to be that you stay married, you know.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_05: Sometimes you have to go in a different direction.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_04: And yeah, and I'm glad we got this out.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_04: You know, Jeff, it's like my psychologist said, and you know, Jeff, that I I've spent a lot of time with that psychologist.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_04: We had her on the show, and you know, like she said, sometimes the end of treatment isn't you getting better, sometimes it's just still you.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_04: She was very smart, she was very smart, and that was after 15 years of working with her outside.
• 21:13
  SPEAKER_04: So sometimes you're still just you, but that's okay because being you is okay.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_04: So I think we're maybe still making progress, but not the same kind of progress.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_04: I don't know that we can look for a reunion here.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_05: I don't think so.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_05: I remember telling Kathy we had some struggles early in our, you know, after about 10 years of being married, and I said, we should never forget that we had 10 good years together, but that it's over.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_05: It turns out it wasn't, and we reconciled, but it is important to kind of respect what you've had and accept the fact that maybe you're gonna go in a different direction.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_05: And I think we could help them with that, don't you?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_04: I think we could, Jeff.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_04: And you know, it's funny you should say that because one of the things I was thinking is we kind of took a big risk by doing our first marriage counseling on the show by it not going exactly the way I think most people want marriage counseling to go.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_04: You know, maybe we're not gonna make so much money doing this, but you know, Jeff, there's another way we could make money, and a way we could help Steve and Mary, exactly, or whoever they're time, yeah.
• 22:15
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, those those two over on that side.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_01: Lori, Lori, I'm Lori.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_04: Lori and Mary.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_05: So either way, I think that that works.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_05: What do you have in mind, Steve?
• 22:25
  SPEAKER_04: You know, Jeff, I I did a little thinking ahead and I thought I am such a planner, you know.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_04: I always think ahead, and I was thinking, you know, what if this doesn't work?
• 22:32
  SPEAKER_04: I mean, I think it will, but what if it doesn't?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_04: We need another business that can pick up where this left off.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_04: Because I think we got some good momentum here, Jeff.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_04: We really do.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_04: We got some, I'd like I like where we're going.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_04: But if everybody hears the show, they're not going to come to us for marriage counseling.
• 22:47
  SPEAKER_04: But Jeff, what else could they come to us for?
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_04: Johnny, tell us what our new business can be.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_04: Right, Steve?
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_04: Do you want to get out of a problem marriage, but are worried that acting on it may hurt your financial settlement?
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_04: Well, worry no more.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_04: Get started with Steve and Jeff's Your Fault Divorce Service.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_04: At Your Fault, our team of divorced bitter and hostile associates can get you out of that marriage without having to admit you did anything wrong.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_04: You know the problem is your spouse, right?
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_04: Let us prove it.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_04: 10% discount for former marriage counseling customers.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_04: Visit yourfault.com to start your journey back to the single life.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_04: Joe and Loy are looking at a 10% discount.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_06: Isn't that exciting?
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_04: It's your lucky day.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_06: Count me in.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_06: That sounds very exciting.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_04: Great.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_04: Jeff, we've got some enthusiastic customers here for our new business.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_04: Jeff, this is so exciting.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_04: This this I think will catch on, you know.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_05: The whole point about our show is nobody goes home empty-handed.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_04: Absolutely right.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_04: You of course get the home version of the Steve and Jeff show, but you'll also get a your fault divorce.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_04: Perfect.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_04: Isn't that exciting?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you so much for being on the show.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_05: I must tell you, I've enjoyed it immensely.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_05: What about you, Steve?
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_04: I certainly have.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, this has been entertaining and enlightening at the same time.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_04: I feel lighter and happier, and not in that order, maybe the other order.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_04: But I digress.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_04: They're just about to kick us out of eccentric Lady Land Studios here.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_02: If anyone knows Bill from Red Roof Inn in Omaha, please go ahead and give him my contact information.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_06: Joe, thanks for coming.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_06: How do you feel?
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_06: Good.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_06: Just texting on my text machine to old funbag Mary.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_06: Good things, guys.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_06: It means a lot.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_04: And just think now you can resume a new relationship or start a new relationship and really not have to figure out somebody else's looks because she's got the same looks.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_05: That's right.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_05: I've got a type.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_05: Absolutely.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_05: Well, thank you again for coming on our show and keep in touch with us.
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_05: You know, maybe uh somewhere down the line you'll both remarry or and then you'll need more counseling, or you know, you'll have to do that.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_04: And then they'll need another another divorce.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, there you go.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_05: Only only one 10% discount per oh marriage.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_04: Yes, the discount is only is a one time thing.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it is one time thing.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_04: So but oh yes, thank you again.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_04: And uh hey, Jeff, I will see you on the next show.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_05: Sounds good.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_05: Thank you.