Latest / You Didn't Ask For This / 103 | Smash Yacht, Bruh

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103 | Smash Yacht, Bruh · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Eric: So heard any good jokes lately.
• 0:06
  Matt: There's the no.
• 0:09
  Matt: Yeah, no, it's been a rough one.
• 0:12
  Eric: It's been.
• 0:12
  Eric: You know what, it's been a bumpy, been a bumpy road.
• 0:17
  Matt: Yeah, folks, this is coming out, you know, two weeks after the election, but we're recording this on Monday, the 11th, 11-11.
• 0:29
  Eric: If you will, and there's a lot of things that myself and Matt could say.
• 0:35
  Eric: Mm-hmm Want to say oh, I've been saying it in some places, have thought about saying Some avenues I've said probably more than I should have.
• 0:44
  Eric: Yeah, or not enough enough, but since today is 11, 11, 11, 11, I thought it might be nice if Matt and I just made a couple of wishes yeah so, if you're listening to this, I wish that you have the best fucking day.
• 1:04
  Eric: I wish that all of your accounts are full.
• 1:07
  Eric: I wish that your tank is full.
• 1:11
  Matt: I wish that your bellies are full yes, especially that one in some places.
• 1:17
  Eric: I wish that the books you read bring you comfort and joy.
• 1:20
  Eric: Yeah, I wish that you watch a movie that changes your life.
• 1:26
  Matt: Ooh, that's a good one, eric.
• 1:27
  Matt: Yeah, get in there, pile in dog.
• 1:29
  Matt: I wish that you discover a new show that you can dive into and just get in the weeds with it and it becomes your personality, Yep.
• 1:42
  Eric: I wish, regardless of the outcome, that you work up the courage to tell the person that you're crushing on that you just think they're the bee's knees.
• 1:51
  Matt: Yeah, that you just fucking can't stop looking at that tush yeah.
• 1:56
  Eric: Yeah, don't lead with that, though Don't lead with the tush.
• 1:59
  Eric: I've made that mistake.
• 2:01
  Matt: No.
• 2:04
  Eric: Hi, my name's Matt Nice ass.
• 2:08
  Matt: How you doing.
• 2:09
  Matt: Couldn't help but notice that dump truck.
• 2:10
  Matt: You got back there.
• 2:14
  Eric: I wish for you to hear a joke that legitimately makes you laugh so hard you think you might throw up.
• 2:21
  Matt: Yes, and I wish that you have just a healthy and stress-free time with someone who loves you and wishes the same for you.
• 2:33
  Eric: Yes, I wish for you in the times ahead, forever from now, I wish for you to find your community.
• 2:44
  Eric: I wish for you to find your community.
• 2:46
  Matt: I wish for you to embrace your community and stand with them and and love with them, and cry with them and fucking support them because we're gonna need some support where, in every corner of every community is going to need a little support, whether they know it or not.
• 3:07
  Matt: Hell yes.
• 3:09
  Eric: I wish a happy birthday to everyone who can hear my voice and to all the people who haven't even been born yet.
• 3:17
  Eric: I wish you the happiest birthday.
• 3:20
  Matt: All right, all right, we're getting a little bit existential now with this.
• 3:23
  Matt: Um, all right, all right, we're getting a little bit existential now with this.
• 3:25
  Eric: I wish that the whales have a great day today, as well, oh my God, I wish orcas just get to smash so much.
• 3:33
  Eric: Yacht, smash, yacht.
• 3:36
  Matt: Smash yacht, smash, yacht bro.
• 3:42
  Eric: There, you know that new Gen Z phrase smash yacht, get yacht.
• 3:47
  Matt: Smash yacht bruh, as Gen Alpha says.
• 3:51
  Matt: I believe I heard that on Bluey.
• 3:55
  Matt: Yes, yes.
• 3:58
  Eric: That's my favorite episode where the little blue dog is like watching orcas destroy mega yachts.
• 4:04
  Eric: Yeah, yeah yeah, it's educational.
• 4:05
  Eric: Yeah, uh, I, I wish for everyone, and this is, this is the neat part about these, these, these next couple wishes.
• 4:16
  Eric: The cool part is that you can extend this wish to anyone and it is a general gesture of goodwill and you might be asking yourself fuck up?
• 4:26
  Eric: oh yeah, you might be asking yourself like well, I don't know, there's a lot of people that I am not about right now.
• 4:32
  Eric: Trust me, you can wish this for them and feel perfectly fine about it.
• 4:36
  Eric: I wish for everyone to be free of ignorance and the causes of ignorance.
• 4:40
  Eric: I wish for everyone to be free of ignorance and the causes of ignorance.
• 4:44
  Eric: I wish for everyone to be free of greed and the causes of greed, and I wish for everyone to be free of hatred and the causes of hatred.
• 4:54
  Eric: I wish for everyone To never have to Be absorbed and lost in those things.
• 5:07
  Matt: I wish for everyone to just let them go.
• 5:08
  Matt: I wish for everyone to not have to worry, to have anxiety about if they're going to have to live in fear.
• 5:19
  Matt: And I wish for everyone to see and know and understand, for everyone to see and know and understand how worthy you are of empathy, respect and love, and you know, it's something a lot of people are starting to talk about again because people are starting to watch it again and get into it again, and it's something that's very important to me, it's very near and dear to my heart.
• 5:50
  Matt: I wish that everyone would understand the depth, the, the level of complexity that is involved in the lost finale.
• 6:03
  Matt: Okay, they, they're not all dead.
• 6:06
  Matt: Okay, they didn't all die.
• 6:09
  Eric: It's so much deeper than that.
• 6:10
  Matt: It's very plain and clear.
• 6:12
  Matt: Okay, when they're in the church it's outside of time.
• 6:17
  Eric: Look when we opened the hatch.
• 6:18
  Eric: We skewed into an alternate time.
• 6:22
  Matt: No, we didn't, Eric, didn't we watch Lost?
• 6:24
  Matt: I'm so mad at you right now.
• 6:26
  Eric: I've never seen Lost.
• 6:27
  Eric: I'm gonna kill you.
• 6:28
  Eric: I wish you would.
• 6:42
  Matt: Well, hello everybody and welcome to you Didn't Ask For this the podcast that answers life's least pressing question and grants wishes.
• 6:51
  Matt: My name is Matt Boucher.
• 6:53
  Eric: My name is Eric Poach.
• 6:55
  Eric: Thanks for rubbing that bottle.
• 6:56
  Matt: Thanks for rubbing the bottle.
• 6:57
  Matt: Here we are, your genies Oops all monkeys paws.
• 7:01
  Matt: Oops all genies.
• 7:02
  Eric: Oops all genies.
• 7:05
  Matt: We gotta get away from the oops.
• 7:05
  Matt: Oh, but God, I monkeys paws.
• 7:06
  Matt: Oops, all genies, oops, all genies.
• 7:06
  Matt: We got to get away from the oops.
• 7:07
  Matt: Oh, but God, I love it, the oops format of naming bits.
• 7:11
  Eric: The oops meta is strong Oops, all oops, oh no.
• 7:18
  Matt: We can't do more spinoffs.
• 7:19
  Matt: You know we simply cannot.
• 7:22
  Matt: So I know we were a little bit serious, but it's a serious time in the, in the cold open.
• 7:29
  Eric: And that's where these idiots come in.
• 7:31
  Matt: And that's where we come in.
• 7:32
  Matt: We wanted to start that way.
• 7:33
  Matt: You know, a lot of people actually have reached out to both of us independently to say, like listen, your, your show brings a lot of joy and peace, and like allows me to kind of escape from certain things and, honestly, truly bit free.
• 7:53
  Matt: It is an honor to hear that.
• 7:57
  Eric: It is.
• 7:57
  Eric: I will never be able to properly describe the feelings that go through my body when someone tells me that, because it's just yeah, it really is.
• 8:05
  Matt: I can't even look at it's too beautiful it really it is.
• 8:08
  Matt: It really is.
• 8:08
  Matt: It means a lot.
• 8:09
  Matt: You know we're we've been here four years now just fucking around on these mics, um, sometimes woefully unprepared to record an episode, and um, you know it just'm just.
• 8:23
  Matt: It really does mean a lot that we're, you guys enjoy us.
• 8:27
  Eric: Yep, and if everyone could just go ahead and put their tongue in their cheek for what I'm about to say.
• 8:31
  Eric: Matt, here's to four more years.
• 8:37
  Matt: Eric, yeah, I think I'm having a heart attack after you said that Of us Of us, of us having a heart attack after you said that.
• 8:45
  Matt: Uh, actually of us, of us, oh okay, uh, sorry, I had to shake that off and I'm sure that didn't clip at all.
• 8:51
  Matt: No, um, eric, should we jump into it?
• 8:53
  Matt: Oh, my god, let's jump the fuck into it.
• 8:54
  Matt: Let's jump into it.
• 8:55
  Matt: So, um, we got a couple questions here for you today that we're gonna answer before I, eric, have for you a pop quiz.
• 9:03
  Matt: Ooh, I'm going to learn today, you are going to learn today, and we'll get back to that, because I think it's going to be a lot.
• 9:10
  Matt: We'll get back to it.
• 9:12
  Matt: We'll get back to it.
• 9:12
  Matt: We'll get back to it.
• 9:12
  Matt: So, eric, this first question comes from at Mike Parig Jr on Instagram.
• 9:19
  Matt: Frequent submitter.
• 9:20
  Matt: Former guest.
• 9:21
  Matt: Thank you, mike.
• 9:22
  Matt: Why don't boats have figureheads anymore?
• 9:31
  Matt: Fucking, thank you.
• 9:32
  Matt: I mean, is this not what's wrong with society?
• 9:33
  Eric: this, this is pretty much exclusively it.
• 9:36
  Eric: I mean, we, our figurehead game, used to be so fucking strong on point, intricate, like when I intricate mermaids, oh my god.
• 9:49
  Eric: Dragons.
• 9:50
  Eric: Filigree scroll work like krakens, krakens, god the ridging, the, the ridging the ridging.
• 10:00
  Eric: Perfect for barnacles like you could not ask for a more like.
• 10:04
  Eric: What better way to enter port than to have your fucking figure just blazing a trail in the foam ahead of you?
• 10:14
  Matt: I mean you look out at the sea, okay, as you do every day from your lighthouse that you live in.
• 10:19
  Matt: Yes, yes On the bluffs when you look out nude at the top of your lighthouse like Willem Dafoe and you're looking out.
• 10:29
  Matt: That's only funny if you've seen the lighthouse.
• 10:33
  Eric: I have, I have.
• 10:35
  Matt: You're looking out, flashing the world with your bright light.
• 10:38
  Matt: Yes, what would you rather see?
• 10:41
  Matt: One of these steel-ass battleships or cargo carriers, or aircraft carriers that maybe have a name printed militaristically on the side of it, usually a state or a dead white dude?
• 10:57
  Matt: A state or a dead white dude, or just like evergreen?
• 11:01
  Matt: Yeah, we're very familiar with thaty dot.
• 11:07
  Matt: Uh, it's a little, uh, a little bit of a prickly name, yeah, down in these waters near baltimore, but you see these, does that inspire?
• 11:19
  Matt: Let me ask you this, eric anything?
• 11:22
  Eric: no, I'll tell you what you know.
• 11:23
  Eric: You know what I'll tell you.
• 11:24
  Eric: That doesn't get from this lighthouse keeper, doesn't get a hark.
• 11:28
  Eric: I don't hark to that, captain I, I do not harken to that one fucking bit.
• 11:34
  Eric: Now.
• 11:35
  Eric: If, like, if I say I'm like, oh uh, that man, I won't even yell out about that one, I'll just like call somebody like hey there.
• 11:43
  Eric: But if I see over the horizon, matthew yeah, if I see like a fucking, like a siren, with a trident in one hand and like a mist parts oh my god and what's this?
• 11:57
  Matt: oh, let me get my binocs and take a look out there across the waves.
• 12:01
  Eric: Get my 1800s telescope.
• 12:04
  Matt: A little periscope, pull it out Spyglass, spyglass in it, spyglass it up, and what do I see?
• 12:10
  Matt: What doth my eyes reveal to me?
• 12:14
  Matt: A beautiful carved image, an artist's representation of a beast.
• 12:22
  Eric: Wrought by the hands of man, folly though they be An angel, arm outstretched.
• 12:28
  Matt: And oh, what's that?
• 12:29
  Matt: As it comes into view, who's that standing with one foot up on the railing at the bow of the ship?
• 12:35
  Matt: Why isn't that not the captain?
• 12:38
  Matt: Captain?
• 12:39
  Eric: Matt Shea.
• 12:40
  Matt: Captain Shea riding on that, the USS Captain Shay riding on that.
• 12:47
  Eric: The USS, the fucking fist of Poseidon.
• 12:51
  Matt: The fist of Poseidon coming into port Come on Hark.
• 12:58
  Eric: That gets a heart.
• 12:58
  Eric: Captain Shay is here.
• 12:59
  Eric: That gets a heart that guy I'm saving, I'm saving them from the cliffs.
• 13:04
  Matt: And listen.
• 13:05
  Matt: I'm sure there might be some reasons I'm no Navy man, they're all dumb ones.
• 13:10
  Eric: They're all dumb ones.
• 13:11
  Eric: I've seen what our country pays for military hardware.
• 13:16
  Eric: We can spring for a figurehead.
• 13:19
  Matt: The USS Constellation, the USS Constitution, the USS Dwight D Eisenhower?
• 13:29
  Matt: Whatever happened to the Queen Anne's revenge?
• 13:33
  Matt: Oh my God.
• 13:35
  Eric: What happened to the fucking, the Flying Dutchman, the Flying?
• 13:40
  Matt: Dutchman.
• 13:40
  Matt: I don't even know what that means.
• 13:42
  Matt: No one needs to, didn't need to, badass figurehead.
• 13:46
  Matt: Here comes Captain Shay and what's that he's riding?
• 13:49
  Matt: Ah yes, it's the naked cowboy.
• 13:53
  Matt: There we go.
• 13:54
  Matt: There it is.
• 13:57
  Matt: What could be more American than that?
• 13:59
  Matt: The famous person who used to be in Times Square.
• 14:02
  Matt: I don't know if he's still there anymore.
• 14:04
  Eric: So, to answer your question, the reason we don't have figureheads anymore boils basically down to fiscal mismanagement and weakness.
• 14:14
  Matt: Oh weakness.
• 14:15
  Eric: you say Weakness.
• 14:17
  Eric: We have become a cowardly lot Because if a boat has a figurehead and maybe I'm maybe, maybe this is crazy talk I feel like if a boat has figurehead, that boat has capital p purpose now in the decline in use.
• 14:35
  Matt: Section of the figurehead.
• 14:36
  Matt: Object wikipedia article donate today.
• 14:39
  Matt: Donate today to wikipedia, um, not to just figure heads.
• 14:42
  Matt: Figure heads as such died out with the military sailing ship.
• 14:47
  Matt: In addition, the vogue for ramboats meant that there was no obvious place to mount one on battleships.
• 14:53
  Matt: Are you fucking kidding me?
• 14:54
  Matt: The battleship doesn't even like at.
• 14:57
  Matt: The modern battleship doesn't even need to to to conform to the same like ship shape as old sailing ships.
• 15:06
  Eric: You can put it fucking anywhere you put it fucking anywhere, you just have a fucking statue.
• 15:11
  Matt: No shit just put it, yes, put it under what should be the crow's nest.
• 15:15
  Matt: We don't have any one of those anymore either.
• 15:17
  Matt: Oh my god, that'd be so tight.
• 15:19
  Matt: Just fucking hang it.
• 15:20
  Eric: Just put it you have the money, you have.
• 15:23
  Matt: You have engineers we can make them retractable, surely you?
• 15:28
  Eric: have engineers capable of building ships taught longer than the empire.
• 15:34
  Eric: State building is tall and you're telling me you can't figure out where to slap a badass statue on that and think about this, what I just said, the retractable figurehead.
• 15:45
  Matt: So okay, so it can't get into modern docks or whatever with them.
• 15:49
  Matt: I don't believe that for a second.
• 15:51
  Matt: But fine, let's say that's true.
• 15:53
  Matt: Let's say you just whoop, whoop, you retract it, you put it inside.
• 15:58
  Matt: And what if, Eric, our Navy ships only deployed their figureheads when they were going into fucking battle, Metal as fuck.
• 16:09
  Matt: When it's like, oh, what's that?
• 16:11
  Eric: A spy submarine Put out the submergible figurehead that says here I come, bitch Two middle fingers off the fucking prowl.
• 16:22
  Matt: They just curve out through the waves.
• 16:28
  Eric: Just two big birds and this has pivoted, very lovely, into my, my, my sort of follow-up question within this question modern figureheads.
• 16:38
  Eric: What are we thinking?
• 16:39
  Matt: because in the past they were, like often, gods, or or gods straight up, women, dames, dames, if you will, I'm looking at pictures of horses and and shields.
• 16:53
  Matt: Seem to be a big one.
• 16:54
  Eric: Yes, a lot of shields, a big old eagle, birds, of course yep, can I just off the dome, one that just popped into my head like, of course you may and this figurehead belongs on any american vessel, military or otherwise.
• 17:11
  Eric: Uh, dolly parton, dolly part, dolly parton would make the best fucking figurehead for a ship.
• 17:18
  Eric: I agree with you.
• 17:20
  Eric: Bigfoot, bigfoot, oh my god, oh, oh my god.
• 17:24
  Eric: Cryptids as figureheads.
• 17:25
  Eric: Cryptids as figureheads.
• 17:26
  Matt: The uss mothman are you, oh my god, the uss mothman with glowing red eyes, because we can automate shit now, dog?
• 17:35
  Eric: dog.
• 17:36
  Eric: Here's what we do remember, how we have all these boats named after states and shit yeah state boat.
• 17:40
  Eric: You get a cryptid from that state as the figure, as the figurehead.
• 17:44
  Matt: So the west virginia gets the mothman and listen.
• 17:47
  Matt: If you want to keep the dwight d eisenhower, the the uss, uh, barack obama even, or whatever, yeah, if you're gonna do that, that's the figurehead, baby, and they gotta be buff as shit oh my god, buff ass barry.
• 18:03
  Matt: Oh, want a buff ass barrio coming out there.
• 18:06
  Eric: Two swords, two fucking swords, two swords one down, one up wearing a pair of aviators, fucking just getting ready to wreck shit, we have it.
• 18:19
  Matt: We just have a cowboy come up with a lasso like an outstretched lasso.
• 18:24
  Eric: Oh my God.
• 18:25
  Eric: And like I said, it can be automated.
• 18:28
  Matt: His wrists just constantly twirl in a chain.
• 18:31
  Matt: We can do this.
• 18:33
  Eric: We can do this.
• 18:34
  Eric: We can have these nice things.
• 18:36
  Eric: We can have figureheads with weaponry.
• 18:38
  Eric: If you're not going to pay for our schools, at least give me something badass on the front of our ships.
• 18:44
  Matt: If we're gonna launch missiles, they should come out of a figurehead's mouth.
• 18:49
  Eric: Yes.
• 18:51
  Matt: Yes, out it comes, the mothman just fired a nuke.
• 19:01
  Eric: Come on the figurehead.
• 19:02
  Eric: Johnny Unitas throws the missile like a football.
• 19:06
  Matt: If we're yeah, it's like a shot put.
• 19:10
  Matt: Yeah, if we're gonna have a military industrial complex, let's have some fun with it let's get some.
• 19:17
  Eric: If we're gonna have a military industrial complex, let's have some military industrial complexity okay thank you, thank you, and then we can have.
• 19:26
  Matt: But you know, we went very pro-military, we went for private vessels too.
• 19:31
  Matt: Oh yeah, we can get back into it.
• 19:33
  Matt: Private vessels, oh my god there's nothing stopping them nothing.
• 19:36
  Matt: Stopping them, just throw one on there toss it on you're gonna have these mega yachts.
• 19:41
  Matt: Put a god damn figurehead on there.
• 19:44
  Eric: If you bought a boat, you mother, put your spouse as the figurehead.
• 19:48
  Eric: Eric, you said it yeah, you said it.
• 19:52
  Matt: Yeah, enough of this naming your boat after your special friend put their message you committed.
• 19:59
  Eric: Make them your fucking figurehead.
• 20:01
  Eric: Get you a man that make carves a figurehead of your visage.
• 20:05
  Matt: Ladies, get you a man who makes you a boat object.
• 20:09
  Matt: Wait, wait, hold on.
• 20:12
  Eric: Only kind of objectification we approve of on this show.
• 20:14
  Eric: That's right.
• 20:17
  Matt: Make someone, pick a man who makes you a goddess.
• 20:20
  Eric: Ladies, do not get out of bed for anything less than anything less than an ocean going man, who will?
• 20:30
  Matt: who?
• 20:30
  Matt: Who's got a, a scruffy face and a chip on his shoulder and a figurehead of you on his glorious boat, the ussu.
• 20:42
  Matt: That's just that.
• 20:44
  Matt: That is.
• 20:44
  Matt: That's the name of the boat, and he keeps it clean.
• 20:46
  Matt: Every day.
• 20:47
  Matt: He gets out there with a toothbrush oh my god and cleans the barnacles off your hair?
• 20:53
  Eric: I don't think strong hands.
• 20:54
  Matt: Don't think a toothbrush is a useful tool for cleaning barnacles but it sends a message, but it prevents them.
• 21:02
  Eric: Uh, I, I I'll also add this, just a slight pivot If we're bringing back figureheads, let's also bring back and again, this is irrespective of military anything I just think we should bring back Can we say it together.
• 21:16
  Matt: I want to think we're going to say the same thing.
• 21:18
  Eric: Okay, I'm just trying in my head to figure out how we're going to say this.
• 21:22
  Matt: How different, okay no, then we're not, then we're not going.
• 21:26
  Eric: You say yours, I got another one bring back drawing people pinup style on the side of vehicles oh jesus, that was not at all.
• 21:33
  Eric: I was gonna say sea shanties oh, oh, buddy, see, did you miss covid sea shanties been?
• 21:40
  Matt: no, no, I know sea shanties been back, but they've been back in tick tock land as like a sea shanties, aren't they fun?
• 21:48
  Matt: I want, if you're out boating, I want to be passing a crew seeing in a sea shanty and not just chugging Coors Light.
• 21:58
  Eric: No, absolutely.
• 21:59
  Eric: I want to find the Northwest Passage for just one time.
• 22:03
  Eric: I would take the Northwest.
• 22:04
  Matt: Passage For just one time.
• 22:06
  Eric: I would take the Northwest Passage.
• 22:07
  Eric: But yeah, I want to bring back like ladies you want to bring back ladies, no, no, the ladies have been here the whole time and with the patience of saints for all of us, other fuck-ups.
• 22:20
  Eric: Yeah, ladies, don't get out of bed for a man who won't paint you on the side of his van like it's a b2 bomber that's right and, honestly, you don't like.
• 22:32
  Eric: This is also gender irrespective.
• 22:34
  Eric: Everyone should be posing like pinup models on the sides of various vehicles.
• 22:39
  Eric: I would give any amount of money to see like matt shea painted on the side of dr lindsey barr's car that's right.
• 22:47
  Matt: That's right and, if any, if you get out of bed for this man and he shows you his dope ass van that he's painted you on the side of and you say I don't like that, that's, I don't want that out there, and he doesn't turn around and set that vehicle on fire, drop him.
• 23:06
  Matt: Fuck him too.
• 23:07
  Eric: Drop him drop him drop him because you gotta have the buy-in the.
• 23:12
  Matt: The ones who matter don't mind, and the ones who mind don't matter, that's right, and if you don't want your visage on the side of a fucking honda odyssey, then fucking it won't be there.
• 23:21
  Matt: Yeah, and that's a promise that's.
• 23:24
  Eric: That's a goddamn promise.
• 23:26
  Eric: It's a promise from me to you.
• 23:28
  Eric: So, in short, boys, get your shit together, carve wooden statues of your partners and slap them on the fronts of ships, and everyone just like fucking let, let's, let's just paint each other on the side of bombers, that's right, and it doesn't need to be your special romantic partners.
• 23:48
  Matt: No, grab, grab, eric, I'd make a figurehead of you I'd make a figurehead of you, matthew yeah, and you make you look badass and I, I'll make you eight, eight feet tall, nine, god damn, do you know my figurehead of you?
• 24:04
  Eric: a detail that would be required is you would.
• 24:08
  Eric: Whatever your arms are doing, it just almost doesn't matter.
• 24:11
  Eric: All that matters is that your mouth is open and your tongue is out.
• 24:15
  Eric: You're like a fucking.
• 24:17
  Matt: Because I need that venom tongue that's like curvy, you know yes.
• 24:21
  Eric: Matt has a fucking superhumanly long tongue.
• 24:26
  Eric: That's true, it is nuts, it's lengthy and I need that.
• 24:30
  Eric: I need everyone to know that it's lengthy and it's muscular yeah the month.
• 24:36
  Matt: They say the tongue is the most powerful muscle in your body, and it certainly isn't mine.
• 24:40
  Matt: I can lick my elbow sick.
• 24:44
  Matt: You know how they say that's physically impossible yeah, not me.
• 24:48
  Eric: Do it right now.
• 24:49
  Eric: Do it right now.
• 24:50
  Matt: All right, he's rolling up his sleeve in my in my age, eric, it does take a little bit of a stretch it does.
• 24:57
  Eric: No, no, I believe, bro, you take all the prep you need.
• 25:00
  Eric: Yeah, he's doing it, he's doing, and there he goes.
• 25:04
  Matt: Tongue is on elbow confirmed it does it is a bit of a strain in my 30s to keep it up, to keep up my cafeteria stunt from sixth grade, but I can't.
• 25:16
  Matt: I still have it.
• 25:16
  Matt: I still have the physicality.
• 25:19
  Matt: Yeah, I've lost.
• 25:21
  Matt: I've lost a lot of the physical capabilities.
• 25:23
  Matt: I used to have her herniated disc and whatnot, but I can still lick my fucking elbow.
• 25:30
  Eric: On days when Matt wakes up struggling, he sits on the edge of his bed, he licks his elbow and says I still got it, you still got it, shay, get on up there, Slap myself in the face and go.
• 25:42
  Matt: all right, let's do this.
• 25:44
  Eric: Let's lick this elbow.
• 25:44
  Eric: Let's get the.
• 25:44
  Eric: Let's lick this elbow.
• 25:45
  Matt: Let's lick this elbow and get on the mic.
• 25:48
  Eric: Oh man yeah, Uh, so Mike thanks so much for the question.
• 25:57
  Matt: Thank you, mike.
• 25:58
  Matt: Mike, I hope we uh.
• 25:59
  Matt: The question in fact was why don't we and we, I think, covered that a long time ago.
• 26:08
  Matt: I hit that pretty early on and then we just moved right on to what the modern how to bring it back.
• 26:14
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 26:15
  Eric: So thank you for the question.
• 26:16
  Eric: Yeah, our next question.
• 26:18
  Matt: Yes, this comes from our good friends on the Against All Oddities podcast From Tim From Tim, specifically from our good friends on the against all oddities podcast from tim's from tim specifically, specifically because we got this question on our discord now.
• 26:31
  Matt: Wait a minute, eric our discord.
• 26:32
  Matt: How can people reach the discord?
• 26:34
  Eric: oh uh.
• 26:34
  Eric: Well, you reach our discord by going to patreon searching you didn't ask for this and by subscribing to either tier are either our one dollar tier, which gets you discord access, or our four dollar tier, which gets you discord access, gets you bonus episodes once a month and gets you 20 off of our future merchandise yes, which we are, uh, which we are in the planning stages of right this very minute, um and uh, you don't even need to search for it.
• 27:05
  Matt: Patreoncom slash.
• 27:06
  Matt: You didn't ask for this, or hey?
• 27:08
  Matt: Just hit up that episode description.
• 27:10
  Matt: It's right there.
• 27:11
  Eric: So that's who asked the question that I'm about to read.
• 27:16
  Eric: Tim asked are there non-food related knuckle tattoos that are better than the food ones?
• 27:23
  Eric: And Matt, I want to go ahead and we're gonna.
• 27:25
  Eric: We're gonna kind of do what we sometimes need to.
• 27:28
  Eric: Let's talk about the question.
• 27:30
  Eric: Let's talk about let's talk about the question.
• 27:33
  Matt: We got to break it down a bit are there.
• 27:36
  Eric: So we're, we're in a mindset of supposing the existence of sure non-food related knuckle tattoos now this implies.
• 27:46
  Matt: The big implication here is that most knuckle tattoos are food based which is like which, legitimately, tim fucked me up for a minute.
• 27:56
  Matt: That are better than the food ones is the tail end of the question, which also implies that the food ones are the best ones.
• 28:04
  Matt: Are unassailable.
• 28:05
  Eric: Yeah, yeah, untouchable.
• 28:08
  Matt: The implication here is can anything top the food, eric?
• 28:12
  Matt: Can you think of food knuckle tattoos?
• 28:16
  Eric: Hold on food, good food, good oh food good food, good, all right, I'm right on the knuckle tat doing a quick search for food knuckle tattoos now.
• 28:30
  Matt: Um, okay, so I've got one here for chef.
• 28:34
  Eric: Got one chef, life chef did they spell it with a y or an I?
• 28:39
  Matt: here's one who has in order ice cream cone, lollipop, pumpkin, jack-o'-lantern actually a slice of pizza, a cupcake, jack skellington, a donut and a crescent moon, I'm also seeing a similar.
• 28:57
  Eric: I'm seeing what appears to be uh oh slice of toast.
• 29:00
  Eric: Uh, a cartoonish like like you'd see in the old looney tunes, like a ham on a bone.
• 29:07
  Matt: Uh, a cartoonish wedge of cheese with holes in it, and another slice of bread got one here, ham, and cheese sandwich got one here that says diet coke got another one that says got another one that just says sriracha across the I'm not gonna lie, it's pretty fucking sick all right.
• 29:31
  Matt: Oh god, this one's crazy it.
• 29:33
  Matt: These are logos.
• 29:33
  Matt: Okay, in order mcdonald's, burger king, kfc, dq, pizza hut, taco bell, wendy's and, unfortunately, chick-fil-a.
• 29:45
  Eric: Uh here's my favorite one so far just root beer oh, I think we're looking at the same image there.
• 29:51
  Matt: I got that one on my google images as well.
• 29:54
  Matt: Love that where did the food craze of knuckle tattoos?
• 29:58
  Eric: come from, probably mostly from people who work in kitchens.
• 30:02
  Eric: I would think it have to be with having had a good number of friends, uh, and someone who lives with me who has, like, worked extensively in food service.
• 30:12
  Eric: Yeah, food service is kind of like they're you either worked in food service for like a couple of years in your early 20s or you never got out, and it is somewhat of a cult I say why stop at at just the like primary knuckles, get that lower knuckles to make.
• 30:31
  Matt: Make your fists into a codex oh, hell yeah, just give him.
• 30:35
  Eric: Hit him with a, almost like a.
• 30:38
  Eric: Make your hands like reverse wu-tang yeah, just so you can.
• 30:42
  Matt: If you interlock it it has a different message.
• 30:44
  Matt: If you put them fists first or fists up, two different messages there and you can rearrange them like it.
• 30:52
  Matt: Like it's some sort of uh word scramble oh, okay, so, so that.
• 30:58
  Eric: So, now that we've talked about the question I think we moved right into it.
• 31:03
  Eric: Let's discuss Non-food related knuckle tattoos that are better than the food ones.
• 31:09
  Eric: Okay, well, word scramble.
• 31:11
  Matt: Word scramble.
• 31:12
  Eric: Word scramble is definitely in there.
• 31:13
  Matt: Make it a riddle, make it a riddle, make it a maze.
• 31:18
  Matt: Make it a maze that you have to move your hands around for them to continue to trace, just, and you have to have a obviously like a ballpoint pen on you at all times so you can just hand it to someone oh my god, it's like the maze runner, but you're trying yeah, and you're just like moving around it's, so I'm just picturing this interaction so intimate, yeah very you start letting someone trace the maze that you have tattooed around your fingies.
• 31:47
  Matt: You guys are.
• 31:47
  Matt: You guys are banging on a table.
• 31:50
  Eric: No doubt about it is no, you never had a chance, never had a chance you two star-crossed lovers I and you know.
• 32:03
  Eric: The funny thing is, I don't know if I've ever mentioned this to you.
• 32:05
  Eric: I actually do.
• 32:06
  Eric: I want knuckle tattoos I want a lot of tattoos, but I I don't have them because of the aforementioned.
• 32:14
  Matt: Being an actor and I know that and it's work you gotta cover them up yeah, that's the thing is.
• 32:21
  Eric: Every time I mention this, I was like, oh yeah, I don't get them because you know I'm I'm an actor and they're like, oh well, you can cover it.
• 32:27
  Eric: I was like, yeah, I'm aware of the existence of cover-up.
• 32:30
  Eric: I am a lazy person.
• 32:34
  Matt: Yes, that is way too.
• 32:36
  Matt: I, yeah, I mean I have been very anti-tattoo my whole life and just to clarify, I'm talking about for me, my, my own person.
• 32:46
  Matt: Yeah, um, when single carrot died, some people uh in the company got carrot tattoos and I was at the time, very motivated to to do it and I, I, I, I came close, I, and by came close, I mean it's the first time I ever considered getting a tattoo.
• 33:05
  Matt: And I've since I don't think I will at this point, I could still.
• 33:09
  Matt: It's something you can pull the trigger on whatever.
• 33:12
  Eric: I'm going to be sending you a folk punk playlist later tonight, so there's hope for you yet.
• 33:17
  Matt: Eric, if we're starting to send each other music, I'll play along.
• 33:22
  Matt: I'll send you some playlists.
• 33:24
  Matt: Okay, but, eric, if you're gonna send me some of this screamo stuff, you can't no, no, no, that's what folk punk dog, you're gonna love it all right, you're gonna love it.
• 33:35
  Matt: I'll, I will never mosh, unless of course, you come up with the money.
• 33:41
  Eric: Friendly reminder that Matt Shea will only enter a mosh pit if I give him one thousand US dollars.
• 33:48
  Matt: If you pay me a thousand dollars, and I believe it was for five minutes- For five minutes.
• 33:53
  Eric: What a five minutes they will be.
• 33:54
  Eric: You better hope they are.
• 33:56
  Eric: This is also.
• 33:57
  Eric: We're also thinking like you.
• 33:59
  Eric: We touched on this with the earlier food tattoo discussion, but it doesn't have to be letters across your knuckles.
• 34:07
  Eric: It can be a maze, it can be food items, but we're talking non-related food knuckle tattoos.
• 34:15
  Eric: I know for a Mississippi minute in the early 2010s, the fucking mustache on the finger was a very popular tattoo.
• 34:24
  Eric: I'm sure no one regrets that.
• 34:26
  Eric: I wonder what has?
• 34:29
  Eric: In today's day and age?
• 34:31
  Eric: What has the higher rate of tattoo removal?
• 34:34
  Eric: Is it the finger mustaches or all the people who got the Deathly Hallows tattooed on their body.
• 34:39
  Matt: Yeah, I reckon a good amount of those are coming off these days.
• 34:43
  Matt: I'm just I'm just looking through some.
• 34:48
  Matt: Here's one that's like an extension of a full sleeve, that like the art of the sleeve, the arm sleeve that stretches into the fingers that's pretty cool.
• 35:01
  Matt: That's a fucking commitment I mean, if you're gonna do it.
• 35:03
  Matt: Oh, here's somebody who has the triangle, circle x and square of the playstation controller I'm sure that'll never be regretted yeah, sure, that's something.
• 35:14
  Matt: That's something.
• 35:15
  Matt: This is one that was shared in the discord with the question somebody has fuck worm fuck worm.
• 35:23
  Eric: I remember fuck worm, now fuck worm, I think, is because so far matt, everything we've been describing, I feel, has yet to surmount the insurmountable food tattoos but fuck worm.
• 35:35
  Matt: Oh, this is interesting.
• 35:36
  Matt: This is like low-key badass, we've got good luck.
• 35:41
  Matt: Okay, that's interesting.
• 35:43
  Matt: I mean, oh, here's.
• 35:44
  Matt: Oh, this is actually pretty cool.
• 35:46
  Matt: I'm looking at one here.
• 35:47
  Matt: It's a stag on the middle finger is the head of the stag of, like the deer, and then the antlers, like spread out into the palm onto the hand.
• 35:57
  Matt: That's pretty cool.
• 36:00
  Matt: That's pretty cool okay and so that so technically only one knuckle tattoo there yeah, but hey well, I guess it could, I guess these, these guys are knuckles up here too, so those, those count technically still knuckle tattoos okay, here, let me, let me hit you with this.
• 36:16
  Eric: What if someone got uh, I think I saw this too this, this, this is, this is.
• 36:20
  Eric: This is my favorite K?
• 36:23
  Eric: N U C.
• 36:24
  Eric: One hand K L E S on the other, hmm.
• 36:29
  Matt: So it's a it's a little on the nose Bop, bop, bop bop, bop, bop.
• 36:34
  Eric: Uh, I would appreciate if someone got a comic book on a monopia on their knuckles like bam and boff.
• 36:46
  Eric: Oh, that's cool yeah yeah, that's cool.
• 36:46
  Matt: Biff, biff that was always my fit biff.
• 36:47
  Eric: Yeah, that'd be fun, I mean, if you're somebody who's throwing punches and also likes a good bit that's a good choice for you, and if you're gonna do a bit on your knuckles, make sure it's a guaranteed winner every time because like you want somebody who right before that fist hits their face, they get a good look at Kapow.
• 37:11
  Matt: It doesn't quite fit, but you know.
• 37:13
  Matt: They're shoved together a little bit.
• 37:16
  Matt: But they have to think for a second and be like what does that say?
• 37:20
  Matt: Bam In the face?
• 37:21
  Matt: It slows their reaction time yeah, yeah, throws them off throws them off balance.
• 37:27
  Matt: Uh, here's one that's like flames.
• 37:30
  Matt: Fine, meh, fuck, fuck anything.
• 37:34
  Matt: Uh, it can work, you know, fuck.
• 37:36
  Matt: And then something else on the other.
• 37:37
  Eric: God's gift Okay.
• 37:40
  Matt: Ugh, no, no, thanks, time Lord All right.
• 37:46
  Eric: Oh, okay.
• 37:47
  Matt: All right.
• 37:47
  Eric: All right, I see you.
• 37:48
  Matt: Oh, we got dates 1975.
• 37:52
  Matt: You can do that with just about anything.
• 37:53
  Matt: Last Call.
• 37:56
  Eric: Last Call's pretty badass, but again we're falling into the trap of mostly spelling things out, and with last call we've we've actually stumbled right back into food related tattoos that's true.
• 38:10
  Matt: That's true.
• 38:10
  Matt: Came full circle damn.
• 38:12
  Eric: If anything, this question's just highlighting to me that, like food, food, knuckle tattoos seem to be the move but I also think the spelling is a little overdone.
• 38:23
  Matt: I I'm liking the everything that we've said, that I've been like oh, this is cool the stag and the sleeve extending.
• 38:29
  Matt: It's all been cartoonish ham bone, the cartoonish hand.
• 38:33
  Eric: It's all been imagery rather than letters so if you were going to get some imagery across your knuckles matt, what would you get?
• 38:40
  Matt: well, I, I wouldn't.
• 38:41
  Matt: First of all, uh, but if you did, looking at my knuckles here trying to come up with something good.
• 38:46
  Matt: Maybe trees turn my turn.
• 38:50
  Matt: My whole fingies into trees well, fingies into trees?
• 38:54
  Eric: yeah, they're like the root.
• 38:55
  Matt: Oh, they're like the roots, they're like I love that.
• 38:58
  Eric: I, I personally love that because that's that's my plan for tattoo.
• 39:02
  Eric: I just want to just right off the dome that's fucking brilliant.
• 39:05
  Eric: I would get little silhouettes.
• 39:08
  Eric: So this would actually require me to incorporate the thumbs, or at least one of them, one finger per each member of the fellowship of the ring.
• 39:19
  Eric: Oh, yeah sure and you're going poach.
• 39:24
  Eric: Well, you have 10 fingers and a fellowship is nine people.
• 39:27
  Eric: How do you even square this?
• 39:29
  Eric: And I go.
• 39:29
  Eric: The 10th space is for none other than bill the pony.
• 39:34
  Matt: Oh, pour one out for my boy bill pour one out, indeed for your boy bill.
• 39:40
  Matt: Yeah, those are some good.
• 39:42
  Matt: I think we've come up with some good suggestions there.
• 39:46
  Eric: Yeah, I, I would.
• 39:47
  Eric: I would leave it to tim to decide if we have come up with anything that's better than food tattoos, I mean tim and indeed our audience.
• 39:56
  Matt: Yes, well, eric.
• 39:57
  Matt: Um, I think, if you think we've answered the question, we can slide right on into a closing segment.
• 40:03
  Matt: Oh my God.
• 40:05
  Eric: Test me, test me.
• 40:07
  Matt: Okay, Now, Eric, it is pop quiz time.
• 40:09
  Matt: It is pop quiz time.
• 40:11
  Matt: We do call it a pop quiz.
• 40:12
  Matt: However, I'm saying I picked this pop quiz in general because I think it falls into the canon of you didn't ask for this.
• 40:23
  Matt: Here's some information the audience didn't ask for.
• 40:27
  Eric: I'm not sure you'll necessarily get these right but you may, okay, if I'm remembering correctly, the first pop quiz ever was you quizzing me about birds, birds, and then I quizzed you on spells from D&D.
• 40:41
  Matt: Yes, in the very last episode, actually Our most previous episode, and now and now we're going to call this yeah, what's a cute name We'll call it Real Estate Rumble.
• 40:54
  Matt: Dope Real Estate Rumble.
• 40:57
  Eric: Sick.
• 40:59
  Matt: Okay, eric, I've got some specs on several different celebrity homes.
• 41:04
  Matt: Okay, I'm gonna give you the specs, I'm gonna give you some data about the house and, if you are interested, I I even pulled up some imagery, if you would like to see, okay, okay and then you're gonna guess the homeowner oh, I'm just.
• 41:21
  Eric: This isn't like a binary.
• 41:23
  Eric: Yes, no, this is a.
• 41:24
  Eric: I got a.
• 41:25
  Eric: Well that's what I mean.
• 41:26
  Eric: That's what I mean School's in session.
• 41:28
  Matt: School's in session.
• 41:29
  Matt: You're going to learn something today, eric.
• 41:31
  Matt: It's more of.
• 41:33
  Matt: I'm presenting the information, and before I tell you who it is, you get to put in a suggestion.
• 41:38
  Eric: I'm like I'm going to.
• 41:39
  Eric: I'm like I'm going to.
• 41:40
  Eric: I'm like I'm being asked to know things.
• 41:42
  Eric: I'm going to get my knuckle tattoos say fuck book.
• 41:45
  Matt: So do you do you want to also take a look for your own benefit, of course, audio medium.
• 41:49
  Matt: Would you like to see the house in question?
• 41:51
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 41:52
  Matt: Okay, all right.
• 41:53
  Matt: So we got this first house here.
• 41:54
  Matt: Now this house it's.
• 41:57
  Matt: It's very I'll describe it for the listeners as well From the view, from the bird's eye.
• 42:02
  Matt: It's very wooded, it's very expansive.
• 42:05
  Matt: We got some like orange looking wood as the exterior.
• 42:09
  Eric: Got like a very kind of yeah, like almost like a ranchy kind of feel, but in the woods.
• 42:14
  Matt: But in the woods.
• 42:15
  Matt: We'll point out.
• 42:17
  Matt: There's a dock down here in the lower corner, so it is against water.
• 42:21
  Matt: Now this has a nickname.
• 42:23
  Matt: This is.
• 42:24
  Matt: I don't believe this name was chosen by the homeowner, but the nickname is Xanadu 2.0.
• 42:31
  Matt: Xanadu, of course, being Citizen Kane's famous mansion for all you out there.
• 42:40
  Matt: So I've got name, I've got the location, I've got the plot, I've got the size of the house, the spaceage, bed, baths, approximate value and then some amenities.
• 42:52
  Matt: That's what I'm going to give you for each of these properties.
• 42:54
  Eric: Fuck yeah dawg.
• 42:55
  Matt: All right, so Xanadu 2.0, that's the name it's located in.
• 42:59
  Matt: It's located I don't know why it's said that way Medina Washington.
• 43:04
  Eric: Okay.
• 43:05
  Matt: Okay, the plot is a quote large parcel of land and it is that, because the homeowner also owns the surrounding properties, got it.
• 43:17
  Matt: The house in question size is about 66,000 square feet, nice.
• 43:25
  Matt: It features seven bedrooms and 24 bathrooms.
• 43:31
  Matt: Sick.
• 43:32
  Matt: Okay.
• 43:33
  Matt: The approximate value and I will say I'm starting this out a little bit easy.
• 43:37
  Matt: I'm not saying that it goes easy to hard, I'm just saying I started it in what I feel is an easy one.
• 43:42
  Matt: Approximate value $147.5 million, dear Lord.
• 43:59
  Matt: Here are some amenities of this place, eric.
• 44:03
  Matt: It's got a 60 made out of trampolines.
• 44:05
  Matt: It has a reception hall that can fit 200 people, god damn.
• 44:11
  Matt: It's got a 23 car garage and a pry and, my personal favorite, it's got a private lakeside beach comprised entirely of imported caribbean sand oh, it's probably like the pink sand, so uh, so that's what I got for you, eric.
• 44:31
  Eric: Those are the specs on this first house okay, and and here's a follow-up question with because these are all houses of famous people I know I know these people, you know each of these people, not personally I don't think.
• 44:46
  Eric: When was the house built?
• 44:49
  Matt: I don't always have that information.
• 44:51
  Matt: I have it on a couple of these.
• 44:53
  Matt: This house was built specifically by the homeowner and I believe it was built in the mid-90s.
• 45:03
  Matt: But let me get an exact thing for you on my other screen here, the the lot was purchased in 1988.
• 45:11
  Eric: okay, so construction began in 1980 yeah, so big ass, lots of cars room.
• 45:21
  Eric: Obviously, this person planned on hosting a lot of fucking parties.
• 45:26
  Matt: Again $147.5 million.
• 45:29
  Matt: So it's a pricey fucking house.
• 45:32
  Eric: I, oh man.
• 45:34
  Eric: What keeps locking in my head is that people keep calling it the Xanadu, whatever.
• 45:41
  Matt: Yes, I will say this, eric.
• 45:43
  Matt: I'll give you another hint.
• 45:45
  Matt: Yeah, there were two people who lived in this house with their children.
• 45:50
  Matt: Those children are adults and the couple itself divorced.
• 45:55
  Eric: I'm going to say Tim Allen.
• 45:56
  Eric: Final answer.
• 45:57
  Matt: Tim Allen.
• 45:58
  Matt: Incorrect, Eric.
• 45:59
  Matt: This is the house of Bill Gates.
• 46:02
  Eric: This is Bill Gates' house.
• 46:05
  Matt: Bill Gates.
• 46:06
  Eric: Yeah, so I tried to I don't know why I imagined Bill Gates' house being so much blockier.
• 46:14
  Matt: Yeah, well, he's a stylish man.
• 46:17
  Matt: What can I say?
• 46:18
  Eric: Yeah, that's the house.
• 46:19
  Eric: I also remember reading about this.
• 46:30
  Matt: I think that's the house where they have the art set up on the walls or like digital screens, and the art will change depending on who's in the room.
• 46:38
  Matt: That's the name of the article, if you want to look into it a little bit more.
• 46:40
  Matt: Now let me go down to our next one.
• 46:43
  Eric: Okay.
• 46:44
  Matt: Now, Eric, I know there are multiple houses in this picture.
• 46:46
  Matt: I think you know which one I'm talking about.
• 46:48
  Eric: The one with not one but two.
• 46:50
  Eric: Not two, but what appear to be, oh yeah, yeah, two private jets.
• 46:55
  Matt: There's three.
• 46:56
  Matt: There's three.
• 46:57
  Eric: Okay, that is a third jet.
• 46:59
  Matt: Yeah, there are three.
• 47:00
  Matt: Um, yes, let's talk about this.
• 47:02
  Matt: The name of this residence is the jumbo lair aviation estates jumbo lair jumbo, lair lair yes, jumbo lair aviation estates.
• 47:17
  Matt: okay, and I never know how to pronounce this word.
• 47:19
  Matt: Is it ocala, florida, ocala, oh, c-a-l-a.
• 47:26
  Matt: Florida, ocala, ocala, florida.
• 47:30
  Matt: You can um, you can correct me if, and only if, you're a democrat.
• 47:35
  Matt: Uh, the plot size is is 550 acres?
• 47:41
  Matt: That's a lot of acreage.
• 47:43
  Matt: The size of the house 7,600 square feet.
• 47:48
  Matt: Okay, so considerable drop-off from our last house.
• 47:52
  Matt: Yeah, it's got five bedrooms, 10 bathrooms and, intriguingly, 14 half-baths.
• 47:58
  Matt: That, okay, it's a lot of toilets.
• 48:01
  Matt: It is approximately the homeowner has been here for quite some time.
• 48:06
  Matt: It's approximately valued at $10 million.
• 48:10
  Matt: Okay, nice.
• 48:12
  Matt: It's got some amenities.
• 48:13
  Matt: Let's talk about them.
• 48:14
  Eric: It's got a pool.
• 48:14
  Eric: Tell me about the amenities before I pull the trigger on this.
• 48:16
  Matt: It's got a pool.
• 48:17
  Matt: It's got a large garden in the front of it.
• 48:20
  Matt: You can see it right there, large garden in the front of it.
• 48:26
  Matt: You can see it right there.
• 48:26
  Matt: Yeah, it's got an 8700 square foot uh conference center, which is not part of the actual house but is like attached to it there.
• 48:32
  Matt: Okay, uh, it's got, as you might have already noticed, a private airport, yeah, with a 36600 foot runway and not one, but two hangars, one of which allows the pilot of the full ass jet not just a private plane, but a jet to exit the aircraft directly onto the front porch of the house.
• 48:55
  Matt: Tight, that's what I got for you, eric.
• 48:58
  Matt: I have to ask who owns this home?
• 49:00
  Matt: Oh my God, what do you think could possibly be behind Jumbo Lair Aviation Estate?
• 49:06
  Matt: Jumbo Lair, jumbo Lair one word J-U Jumbo.
• 49:11
  Eric: Lair.
• 49:12
  Matt: Jumbo Lair.
• 49:14
  Eric: Wait, is it spelled like Jumbolaya, but with layer?
• 49:17
  Matt: J-U-M-B-O-L-A-I-R Jumbo Lair Aviation Estates it sounds evil.
• 49:26
  Eric: It does Tim Allen finally.
• 49:28
  Eric: No, Let me.
• 49:29
  Eric: No, no, no.
• 49:31
  Matt: I'm just going to have to look up Tim Allen's house by the end of this.
• 49:34
  Matt: I guess Jimmy Buffett Jimmy Buffett, Eric, no, the late great Jimmy Buffett does not own this house.
• 49:41
  Matt: Dang, this house for many a decade now belongs to John Travolta.
• 49:47
  Matt: Oh, this is.
• 49:50
  Matt: John Travolta's house, johnny Tro.
• 49:52
  Matt: He's got his own private airport with a couple of jets three of them in this photo anyway.
• 49:57
  Matt: Yeah, that's John Travolta's house.
• 50:00
  Matt: He's got a runway down there in Florida.
• 50:01
  Eric: He's got a nice-ass house.
• 50:02
  Eric: He's got a runway down there in Florida.
• 50:03
  Matt: He's got a nice ass house.
• 50:04
  Matt: Yes, he does.
• 50:04
  Matt: Yes, he does.
• 50:04
  Matt: Now, eric, I thought we'd go a little bit more modest this next one.
• 50:08
  Matt: Okay, all right, take a look at this house.
• 50:10
  Matt: Oh, look at that.
• 50:11
  Matt: Take a look at this house.
• 50:12
  Matt: Describe for me what you're seeing here.
• 50:14
  Eric: It looks just like a house.
• 50:17
  Matt: And we on Travolta's house, but it is also.
• 50:19
  Matt: It looks like an airport, it looks like a little airport.
• 50:22
  Matt: This just looks like a mid, not a Midwestern, sorry, a Southwestern sort of like dry area, sort of like two-story rancher with like you saw so many versions of this house in Breaking Bad.
• 50:37
  Eric: Yes, yes, it looks like just a standard house with a garage.
• 50:42
  Eric: And it looks like just a standard house with a garage and it looks like a nice house to be sure, a very nice house, but it's like just a house.
• 50:52
  Matt: Okay, eric, it doesn't have a name.
• 50:54
  Matt: It doesn't have a special name, doesn't need one, doesn't need one.
• 50:57
  Matt: It's located in the Hollywood Hills of Los Angeles, california, okay, in the hollywood hills of los angeles, california, okay.
• 51:07
  Matt: Um, the plot and the space, I think will give you some some idea of just how, like sort of quote unquote, regular housey, this is, uh, 1.5 acre lot, okay, 2 725 square feet perfectly modest.
• 51:20
  Matt: It's er to give you a little comparison.
• 51:22
  Matt: That's pretty much on par with my house.
• 51:25
  Eric: Yeah, also give you.
• 51:26
  Eric: One and a half acres is the minimum amount of acreage you need in Anne Arundel County to be able to own chickens.
• 51:32
  Matt: There you go.
• 51:32
  Matt: It's got three bed, three and a half bath.
• 51:36
  Matt: Okay, three bed, three and a half bath.
• 51:38
  Matt: Again, hollywood Hills Okay, keep that in mind.
• 51:42
  Matt: 7.65 million is what it was purchased for at its last selling or its last sale.
• 51:48
  Matt: And when was that last sale?
• 51:49
  Matt: I believe it was in 2023.
• 51:53
  Eric: Okay.
• 51:55
  Matt: Damn.
• 51:55
  Matt: I believe I could be wrong.
• 51:57
  Eric: Someone ridiculously wealthy owns this, Like this is going to be be someone like that's where they live this is the cheapest house we've talked about so far yeah ah, oh, amenities let me give you some amenities please, eric, I don't have too many for you here and they're not too unusual.
• 52:15
  Matt: It's got a pool, okay, got a large front garden.
• 52:19
  Matt: You can kind of see it walled in there.
• 52:20
  Matt: Yeah, um, uh, outdoor fireplace on the patio.
• 52:24
  Matt: Those are the things that I found to be noteworthy.
• 52:26
  Matt: If I were putting the Zillow listing together, yeah, damn, I'm going to guess Multiple balconies.
• 52:37
  Eric: I'm going to guess.
• 52:38
  Eric: I think that I'm going to guess Steven Spielberg, steven Spielberg.
• 52:43
  Matt: Steven Spielberg.
• 52:44
  Matt: That's my guess Interesting.
• 52:46
  Matt: You are in the right ballpark with a film person.
• 52:49
  Matt: Okay, this is Robert Pattinson's house.
• 52:54
  Eric: Nice, nice, robert Pattinson.
• 53:06
  Matt: He actually downgraded recently from a large mansion to a more humble, uh, humble, uh thing.
• 53:08
  Matt: And I say that because this I I don't reckon that 7.65 million is uh all that expensive for the fucking hollywood hills yeah, yeah, no that that god there's some fucking houses up in there okay, good on you, robert patents, slumming it up with the rest of us 7.5 million property owners, all right, let me.
• 53:24
  Matt: Let me show you this guy here, eric that's now that tell me what you see that is a.
• 53:30
  Eric: That is a fucking big, motherfucking house on top of a hill.
• 53:37
  Matt: Big motherfucking house on a hill, it's all white looks like it's oceanside maybe it looks like it could be oceanside.
• 53:43
  Matt: It's got massive chimneys on massive chimneys yes, a lot of land um overlooks the surrounding countryside.
• 53:51
  Eric: Like that is, like that's where yes, it does it's where, like the, the lord of the of the lands, funny.
• 53:57
  Matt: You should say that, eric, specifically um this, this house has a name.
• 54:02
  Matt: Its name is High Watch.
• 54:04
  Matt: That's badass.
• 54:06
  Matt: It is located in Westerly Rhode Island.
• 54:09
  Matt: It is specifically located on a historic hill by the name of Watch Hill, which was used as a lookout during the Seven Years and the American Revolution.
• 54:20
  Matt: The house, however, was built in 1929.
• 54:25
  Matt: I will tell you, eric, this is not the homeowner's primary residence, of which they own eight, okay, but it is their primary vacation home.
• 54:37
  Eric: Okay.
• 54:39
  Matt: The plot is five acres.
• 54:41
  Eric: It's got five acres of land and they use every goddamn acre for that house.
• 54:45
  Matt: The house itself is 11,000 square feet.
• 54:48
  Matt: That is nuts.
• 54:49
  Matt: It has eight beds and ten and a half baths.
• 54:53
  Eric: Okay, I love the face you made.
• 54:55
  Eric: As you said, baths, baths.
• 54:59
  Matt: It sold in 2013.
• 55:01
  Matt: It was purchased by the current homeowner in 2013.
• 55:05
  Eric: And that's who I'm guessing.
• 55:06
  Matt: That's who you're guessing.
• 55:07
  Matt: Okay, For $17,750,000, but it's likely worth way more now, both because of the association of the current homeowner, its historical significance and the famous song written about it.
• 55:23
  Eric: Is all along the watchtower about this house.
• 55:26
  Matt: It is not all along the watchtower, Damn that would have been cool.
• 55:33
  Eric: Okay, so this house was already famous and then got bought by someone that made it even more famous.
• 55:39
  Matt: Correct, and I will also add to you, eric, and this is indeed what the song is about.
• 55:44
  Matt: It was a bit controversial that the person in question purchased the house in the first place.
• 55:50
  Eric: Okay, so I'm assuming.
• 55:54
  Eric: I feel like it's fair to say the person who owns this house is music related.
• 56:00
  Matt: That is fair to say.
• 56:01
  Matt: And I forgot.
• 56:02
  Matt: I didn't get to the amenities, oh give me this amenities, baby, it's got a private 700 foot beach.
• 56:09
  Matt: Nice, a 36 foot parlor and a 45 foot sunroom, and other than that it's a big ass.
• 56:16
  Matt: Nice house wrapped in mystery.
• 56:18
  Matt: And it's old, 1929.
• 56:19
  Matt: It's old, 1929.
• 56:20
  Matt: And it's old, it's been around, it's been there, it's a historic house.
• 56:24
  Eric: So I'm man, so there's so many directions.
• 56:27
  Eric: So it was controversial that it was purchased by this person In some circles.
• 56:32
  Eric: In some circles.
• 56:34
  Eric: I'm you know what I'm going to guess off the dome.
• 56:39
  Eric: When did this famous person buy the house?
• 56:43
  Matt: 2013.
• 56:44
  Eric: 2013.
• 56:45
  Eric: I off the dome.
• 56:46
  Eric: When?
• 56:46
  Eric: When did this famous person buy the house?
• 56:48
  Eric: 2013, 2013?
• 56:49
  Eric: I'm gonna guess.
• 56:50
  Eric: Oh man, there's so many.
• 56:50
  Eric: There's so many.
• 56:51
  Matt: That's what I'm saying I don't really expect necessarily.
• 56:53
  Matt: You can, you can get these off of real estate, but I have two, why?
• 56:58
  Eric: like guesses that are on wildly different ends of the spectrum, I'm just gonna say them both, give them both to me.
• 57:03
  Eric: Guess one ozzy osbourne okay.
• 57:06
  Matt: Guess two post malone, okay uh, I would think you would have known where ozzy lives from the show the osbournes, which I believe is but you said this one of eight residences yes, they own, so that's that's what gave me.
• 57:20
  Matt: I was like, I feel like no, it is neither of those people eric.
• 57:23
  Matt: The uh song in question is the last great american dynasty by none other than taylor swift oh why?
• 57:34
  Eric: why, man man, what the hell it's a great song, eric.
• 57:39
  Eric: If you haven't heard it, I have a question For anyone in Rhode Island who are listening to my voice right now what?
• 57:49
  Eric: What is your life like, uh eric?
• 57:53
  Matt: like what I'm taking it.
• 57:54
  Matt: You haven't heard.
• 57:55
  Eric: Last great american dynasty I haven't, but if t swift by, if the whitest girl on earth buying the whitest house I have ever seen in one of the whitest states in our country yes is cause for controversy yes, eric, I encourage you to listen.
• 58:11
  Matt: I want to go to rhode island I want to see what I want to.
• 58:14
  Matt: It's got a fucking so first rule there yes, it does, and eric if that is your bar, for things are bad eric, I would encourage you to listen to last great american dynasty, as soon as we're done recording and because it will become very clear what the controversy is.
• 58:28
  Matt: But to give it into you, to you in a nutshell yeah t swift is new money uh, oh, and she's also a young person buying a very historic house in a very old money.
• 58:40
  Matt: You know piece of land I get it yeah, I bet you do you rich wasp you I get it new money moving in flaunting it yeah, okay, last one here.
• 58:52
  Matt: Last one here, eric, and for this let's go back to modest, hey look at that modest out.
• 58:56
  Eric: That's a house I would expect to see in, like Annapolis.
• 59:05
  Matt: Absolutely.
• 59:06
  Matt: Right now I'm going to plug this at the end of the show I'm doing another show over in Virginia and I drive often through some very affluent suburbs of DC and things this house could easily be on any of them streets, yeah.
• 59:17
  Matt: So yeah, it's expensive, but let's go through it.
• 59:20
  Eric: So this one is looking at this house.
• 59:22
  Eric: This is merely entirely out of my grasp, not comically.
• 59:27
  Eric: So what does that mean In terms of what I can afford?
• 59:30
  Eric: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 59:31
  Eric: Yeah, this house is just simply unobtainable, as opposed to unequivocally and hilariously unobtainable.
• 59:39
  Matt: Oh, but, eric, it wasn't.
• 59:40
  Matt: Let me give you some stats about this.
• 59:42
  Matt: First of all, it's located in.
• 59:44
  Matt: It's located in omaha, nebraska, okay, and that's a pretty significant hint to you.
• 59:49
  Matt: Um, the plot not specified.
• 59:53
  Matt: I couldn't find it anywhere, but it's not that big.
• 59:55
  Matt: It's not huge.
• 59:56
  Matt: It's not a, you know, a ranch here.
• 59:58
  Matt: Yeah, the house itself 6500 square feet, so it's sizable.
• 1:00:03
  Matt: It's a decent size house.
• 1:00:04
  Matt: Uh, five beds, two and a half baths.
• 1:00:07
  Matt: The approximate value is 1 million, is $1,439,000 today, but it was purchased in 1958 for a mere $31,500.
• 1:00:20
  Matt: God, I fucking hate capitalism.
• 1:00:23
  Matt: The owner has many, many properties, but it has remained their primary residence since 1958.
• 1:00:32
  Matt: Amenities, eric, it's got a sunroom.
• 1:00:35
  Matt: It's got a sunroom.
• 1:00:37
  Eric: It's got a sunroom.
• 1:00:38
  Matt: Other than that, just a nice house you walk in.
• 1:00:42
  Eric: it's just one giant room.
• 1:00:44
  Matt: There's no, I'm saying there's no.
• 1:00:46
  Matt: As far as I can tell, there's no, you know, bowling alleys or trampoline rooms.
• 1:00:51
  Matt: Yeah, god damn, it's just a nice house, Big nice house in Omaha, Nebraska.
• 1:00:56
  Eric: Omaha, nebraska.
• 1:00:58
  Eric: Do you know what I gotta guess?
• 1:01:00
  Eric: Tell me Tom Hanks Incorrect here, damn it.
• 1:01:05
  Matt: If you say Tim Allen.
• 1:01:06
  Eric: I will fucking.
• 1:01:07
  Eric: Wouldn't it be funny if it was?
• 1:01:08
  Matt: Tim Allen.
• 1:01:09
  Eric: I would no, eric.
• 1:01:12
  Matt: This house from Omaha famously belongs to one of the richest, yet, for his net worth, frugalest men.
• 1:01:22
  Matt: This is Warren Buffett's house.
• 1:01:23
  Matt: Ah, this is.
• 1:01:27
  Matt: This is Warren Buffett's house.
• 1:01:29
  Matt: He has, of course, many, many properties, but this one remains his primary residence.
• 1:01:34
  Eric: I just need my son room.
• 1:01:36
  Eric: I've never heard warren buffett speak.
• 1:01:38
  Matt: I don't yeah, it doesn't sound like that.
• 1:01:40
  Matt: I can't do a warren buffett, but he just sounds.
• 1:01:42
  Eric: Do your best one.
• 1:01:43
  Matt: Do your best one right now I, I think he, I think he just kind of sounds like a midwest person and I I don't, I can't really do a good Midwest accent, I can't.
• 1:01:54
  Matt: So much pressure.
• 1:01:57
  Matt: Well, I just a lack of that's country.
• 1:02:00
  Matt: I'm already going country.
• 1:02:01
  Matt: Why are you doing this to me, eric?
• 1:02:03
  Eric: Because I haven't gotten a single one of these right.
• 1:02:06
  Matt: I told you you might not.
• 1:02:07
  Matt: I'm sharing information.
• 1:02:08
  Matt: Is this revenge for Google gripes?
• 1:02:10
  Matt: No, I even ran this by.
• 1:02:16
  Matt: I ran my idea, bysey, and she was like poachers isn't gonna get any of those, and I didn't tell them what they were and I was like I don't think anyone would.
• 1:02:20
  Matt: How do you just guess a person's house?
• 1:02:22
  Matt: I was like I didn't.
• 1:02:26
  Matt: I'm not really doing points, that's what I'm saying.
• 1:02:29
  Matt: I'm trying to educate you, eric.
• 1:02:30
  Matt: I'm trying to educate you, eric.
• 1:02:31
  Matt: I'm trying to educate the audience.
• 1:02:37
  Eric: I wasn't testing your knowledge.
• 1:02:39
  Eric: I'm imagining you as a teacher explaining to a room full of furious parents why all of their children failed.
• 1:02:44
  Matt: I didn't think anyone were going to get the questions right, I'm just sharing new information or, in this case, well-established information.
• 1:02:54
  Eric: Yeah, so there you go.
• 1:02:54
  Eric: There are some celebrity homes well established.
• 1:02:55
  Matt: Yeah, so there you go.
• 1:02:56
  Matt: There are some celebrity homes, some stats that you probably didn't know before, and now you do.
• 1:03:02
  Matt: And now, now I have knowledge, and now you have knowledge, and so do you folks, and that'll about do it for this episode of you.
• 1:03:08
  Matt: Didn't ask for this.
• 1:03:09
  Matt: A little bit of business here.
• 1:03:11
  Matt: First, please, if you haven't already join our Patreon Patreoncom slash you didn't ask for this as Eric said, you get discounts on our incoming merch but, more importantly, for $4 a month you will also get access to the Discord and the Oops, all Tangents monthly bonus episodes.
• 1:03:32
  Matt: By the time this comes out, another one's right around the corner, so get ready for that one.
• 1:03:37
  Matt: That'll be the third, and if you only want to spend $1 a month, that gets you access to the Discord.
• 1:03:43
  Matt: That's it.
• 1:03:44
  Matt: But hey, we're having a great time in the Discord.
• 1:03:47
  Eric: It's a grand old time.
• 1:03:48
  Matt: Yes, and thank you to everyone who's in the Discord already.
• 1:03:52
  Matt: People are continually dropping in each week.
• 1:03:56
  Matt: I love that, um, and we're just having a great time talking to you guys.
• 1:04:00
  Matt: So thank you, yeah, um the uh by by all means.
• 1:04:05
  Matt: Of course, you can find us on social media at you didn't ask pod.
• 1:04:08
  Matt: That's the little, that's literally.
• 1:04:10
  Matt: You didn't ask pod the letter.
• 1:04:11
  Matt: You didn't ask pod the letter.
• 1:04:12
  Matt: You didn't ask pod.
• 1:04:13
  Matt: I've only said it 102 times and yet I fucked it up just now.
• 1:04:17
  Matt: That's amazing.
• 1:04:17
  Matt: Instagram, still Twitter, but we're talking about maybe just not doing that anymore but threads, instagram, facebook we're not really on it, but it's there YouTube, et cetera, et cetera, and, of course, patreon.
• 1:04:32
  Matt: Do all those things.
• 1:04:34
  Matt: And if you haven't, drop us a review, if you wouldn't mind, on the Apple Podcasts or the Spotify.
• 1:04:41
  Matt: Spotify also allows comments now, so drop us some comments.
• 1:04:45
  Matt: And so, yeah, eric, did I miss anything?
• 1:04:48
  Matt: Didn't miss a thing, baby.
• 1:04:49
  Matt: Oh, I do want to plug real quick, given the date.
• 1:04:53
  Matt: I am once again doing a show at Next Stop Theater in Herndon, virginia.
• 1:04:59
  Matt: I am in a stage adaptation of the Shawshank Redemption, one of my absolute favorite films of all time One of the greatest films ever made, I'd say, and that I'd say is inarguable.
• 1:05:09
  Matt: I'm playing Dawkins, who is an original character to this adaptation.
• 1:05:14
  Matt: He's not in the novella or the uh um movie, but he, he kind of functions like Haywood does in the movie, which is um William Sadler's character, if that helps you.
• 1:05:26
  Matt: Um and yeah, that show runs until, uh, december 8th, so if you're in the area, come on check it out, I'm playing Dawkins and.
• 1:05:38
  Eric: I am understudying Andy.
• 1:05:39
  Eric: Dufresne I never wish harm upon another actor, but damn.
• 1:05:42
  Eric: I want to see you play Andy Dufresne.
• 1:05:44
  Matt: Well, well, we'll see.
• 1:05:46
  Matt: It is cold season, you never know.
• 1:05:49
  Matt: But hey, I'm, I'm, I'm there as Dawkins every now and then, goddamn right.
• 1:05:53
  Matt: So anyway, yeah, if you're so inclined, until December 8th, come check us out.
• 1:05:59
  Matt: Thursdays, fridays, saturdays, sundays.
• 1:06:02
  Eric: And while we're plugging this episode airs on the 21st, two days from now there will be a premiere of a movie I'm in in Baltimore.
• 1:06:13
  Eric: There will be a premiere of a movie I'm in in Baltimore.
• 1:06:14
  Eric: It's called For Sale by Exorcist and that was written and directed by Melissa and Chris LaMartina, who are two of the kindest, sweetest, most brilliantly talented human beings I've ever known.
• 1:06:28
  Eric: Got to be in that movie for them and soon, as soon as I have details of where it will, will be streaming and all that you can see me in a movie that is dope, yeah and so, and and I've been in, um, I've also been in other things that directed.
• 1:06:45
  Eric: They are that chris and melissa, uh, who I want to be guests on the show and who have said they would love to be guests on the show, and so it was, and so it shall be.
• 1:06:54
  Eric: Uh, they're also in a, uh, like a horror punk surf rock band called beach creeper, and I was in their music video that premiered not too long ago that's right pride of franken.
• 1:07:11
  Matt: So if you go to YouTube, type in Pride of Frankenstein, you will see me as a Frankenstein in a music video and it'll be dope and that is applicable because Eric, as we've proven here, is a monster Indeed, so that'll about do it for all of us here at you Didn't Ask For this, unless you got anything else to plug in.
• 1:07:33
  Matt: No, no, not a damn thing.
• 1:07:35
  Matt: I'm fresh out myself.
• 1:07:36
  Matt: So, from all of us here at you Didn't Ask For this.
• 1:07:39
  Matt: My name's Matt Shea.
• 1:07:40
  Matt: My name's Eric Poach.
• 1:07:42
  Eric: And listen.
• 1:07:42
  Eric: You didn't ask, but I'm going to leave you with a quote that I learned back in college, and I learned it from none other than Matt Shea, who used it in his vocal piece in college, so and so I'm very intrigued.
• 1:07:58
  Eric: I'll give you the quote and then I'll tell you who said it.
• 1:08:01
  Eric: I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind.
• 1:08:05
  Eric: Some come from ahead and some come from behind.
• 1:08:10
  Eric: But I've brought a big bat.
• 1:08:12
  Eric: I'm already you see.
• 1:08:13
  Eric: Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me, dr Seuss.
• 1:08:21
  Matt: Damn Skippy.
• 1:08:22
  Matt: Mm-hmm.
• 1:08:24
  Eric: Theodore Geisel, if you want to be, take care of yourselves out there folks, god, be safe, be sane and, and above all, be good to each other.
• 1:08:37
  Matt: Be good to each other and Us also.
• 1:08:41
  Matt: Us, don't forget about us.
• 1:08:44
  Eric: Be good to us.
• 1:08:46
  Matt: Be good to us, consider being good to us.
• 1:08:56
  Matt: Thank you.