Latest / An ASMR Practice / Assumptions , friends, Coexistence

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Assumptions , friends, Coexistence · An ASMR Practice

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Alright, I'm feeling brand new. I'm feeling brand new. I
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: just got a sick freaking fade, bro. I just got
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: a sick fade. I tried to go to my bougie barber.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: I tried to go to my bougie barber. And they
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: were like, we can take you. But unfortunately, I do have...
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Or not unfortunately. Fortunately, I do have an appointment. Because
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: I ended up at this way less bougie barber that...
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: They did that stuff real quick. They did that stuff
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: real quick. It's looking good. It's looking just fine. I guess.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: It's looking good. I like having short hair. Holy crap,
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: they really did that so quick. You know, this one
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: time I went to a salon. It was the first
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: time I ever wanted an undercut. And I went to
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: this salon that I had been to. It was a
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: little bougie. It was, you know, recommended to me via
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: A woman who liked to spend money she didn't have, really. Funny,
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: the same woman actually used to recommend this cheaper place
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: to me as well. So I wanted an undercut. I
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: wanted an undercut from this salon lady. Which, if you
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: know anything about an undercut, it's like the simplest thing
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: in the world. It's literally you just kind of take
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: a trimmer to the side of your head. And I
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: have since, I've since done my own. It's pretty simple.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: And she was like, she was like, I've never done
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: this before on a woman. I've never done this before. I, she,
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: and she talks me out of it. And then she
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: talked me into this terrible haircut. Um, or it wasn't,
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: it wasn't terrible. It just wasn't really me. It wasn't
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: really me. And weirdly enough, it's kind of similar to
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: what I have now. But, like, way less spunky. It
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: was like the, like, Karen, you know, let me speak
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: to the manager edition of what I have now. Which
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: what I have now is sort of like Sonic the Hedgehog.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: And I'm wearing my Sonic the Hedgehog dress as well.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: And by that, of course, I mean I'm just wearing
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: a blue dress. And the girlies were loving my dress.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: The girlies were loving my dress last night. Um, oh
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: my gosh, I had a fabulous night. So many synchronicities,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: so many synchronicities. Can I get a witness? Can I
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: get a witness? So I was saying the thing about
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: the library and how I used to, like, peruse the
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: astronomy section, like, hoping to, I don't know, find love
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: or something. And last night, what do you know, I'm
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: around a freaking bonfire. I'm around the freaking bonfire, and
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I discover one of these people is an astronomy professor.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Like a professor of astronomy. I'm like, what? You teach
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: astronomy to college kids? It's like, are you the love
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: of my life? What's going on here? Didn't even meet
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: you at the library. But I realized, I was like,
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: and I forgot to say this when I was talking
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: about the whole thing. I realized walking out of the library,
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh, it might just be myself. I
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: might be the love of my life. Because I'm like
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: having fun. I'm having fun just like writing a cover letter.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: And by having fun, there were a lot of tears shed.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: There were a lot of tears shed. There were a
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: lot of like deep breaths, holding, holding my heart center,
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: deep breaths. I can do this. I can do this.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: I can recruit help when I need help. I've been
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: doing this. You know, I asked the guy to watch
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: my stuff and it reminded me of this time I was,
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: where was I? I was downtown during COVID, which I
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: probably should not have been doing according to, you know,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: some people, but I was, I needed to see people.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I literally just needed to see people. I was like, okay,
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: I'll wear my mask. I'll go downtown. It was a very,
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: very small town in Virginia. And I did something similar
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: where I was working on my computer. I was like
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: sitting outside of a cafe and using their wifi and
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: I don't know what I was doing on the computer.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: I was probably trying to find a job or something,
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: or I don't know, maybe I was just like typing
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: emails to random people. Oh my gosh, I'm so freaking hungry.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: And like, I'm in this situation I was in yesterday
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: where it's like, I really don't have time to go home.
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: I really have to be, I really have to be
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: where I am like kind of soonish. Excuse me. And
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: I probably should eat something. So now. I gotta figure
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: out what I'm gonna eat. I could probably go to
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: like a grocery store. And get some fruit. That might
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: be the cheapest option. Yeah. Yeah. I think I might
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: do that. Now which grocery store is the question. I
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: got a lot of really bougie options. Near where I am.
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's not the best option. But it might be.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: For like my soul. Yeah, I think that's what I'll do.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: I'll just go to the co-op and get some freaking fruit.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: It can't be that expensive. It's just fruit. It's literally
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: just fruit, guys. Do I really not have any food? Oh,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I got some mango. I got some mango and Gatorade.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: That might be enough, actually. Okay, mango and Gatorade it is. Oh, wait,
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I know what I can do. Ha ha ha ha ha.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to share my plans aloud though. I
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: know what to do. Don't worry about it. I had
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: coffee on an empty stomach again. They say it's bad.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: They say it's bad. But I had a fabulous morning.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: I woke up. I had a little unplanned sleepover. We
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: were sleeping perpendicular on this L-shaped couch. And I slept
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: like a baby. I was not planning to sleep there.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: They were playing, you know, for the, you know, they asked,
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: they were like, oh, let's get on the records. I
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: was like, they were like, what, what genre? I said,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know, something a little folky. I was feeling
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: a little folky. This is not normally something I would choose,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: if I'm honest. But I was like, I was like,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: I'm really not trying to dance. I'm really trying to
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: just relax. And I sort of drifted into a very peaceful...
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: But I'm sort of also feeling... This happens all the
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: time with me where someone wants to watch a movie.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Somebody wants to watch a movie and I'm like... Yeah,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: let's watch a movie. But I really don't like watching
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: TV all that much. But I understand fundamentally that this
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: is what the mass is like. And, you know, I
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: actually this reminds me of a person in college I
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: had a falling out with. And this was this was
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: the moment where they were like, let's watch a movie.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Let's watch a film. And I just lost my fucking
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: shit because I think it was just this was this
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: was all this person wanted to do. They were like,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: let's watch a film. Let's do something on the computer.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: And I kind of crashed out. I was like, no.
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: I was like, can we go walk around outside? I'm
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: about to freak out. I was like, I would love
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: to hang out. I want to hang out with you.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: I really do. And I cannot just keep watching films.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: And they, you know, they established a boundary. They were like, okay, well,
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: I don't want to do what you want to do.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: If you don't want to do what I want to do,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: maybe we shouldn't hang out. And I was like, okay, fine.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: And then we never hung out again. We never hung
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: out again. And that's probably fine. I'm really not sure
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: which person this was. I have two people in mind
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: that it might have been. I don't know. I think
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: I do know who it was. I have a very
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: cute video of us, actually. They're like speaking to me
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: in like a Scottish accent. And I don't think they're Scottish.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: My understanding is they were from, I want to say
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: New York. and they're speaking to me in a Scottish
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: accent and I'm in my dress and they're like looking
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: some kind of they're like messing with their hair in
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: the video speaking to me in a Scottish accent and
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I'm just like in my dress like twirling I'm just
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: like and I'm filming it because I was just like
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: what I don't know I feel like I just pull
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: out the video camera when I'm just not sure what's
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: going on I'm like I gotta I'm gonna revisit this
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: and try to figure out what was going on here And,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: you know, now I... Now I understand what was going on. Oh!
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: You know how I met this person? Oh! Whoa! Okay,
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: so I've been wanting to tell this story, but I
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: don't know how many details I should include. I don't
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: remember the person's name. They lived in my dorm. And
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: they were religious. Let's just say they were religious... they
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: were a type of religion that I didn't really grow
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: up around um and I was I've been on I've
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: been on this for a long time this whole like
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: I don't want kids I think everybody should be entitled
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: to their own decisions and i don't want kids i
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: don't see this whole thing working out very good and
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: um And they were being... Oh, it's so funny. Okay. Focus, focus, focus.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: It relates to a conversation I was just having in
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: a very indirect kind of way. They were being... How
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: do I say this? Sort of like a drill sergeant.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: They were being very... I wouldn't say aggressive. I wouldn't
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: say aggressive. But they were being a very impassioned coach.
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: Coaching me. This is just some guy in my dorm.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I don't remember his name. And he was very religious.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: He was very oriented towards getting married and having kids.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I was kind of laughing at him.
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I was like, this is silly guy. I don't know
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: what you're talking about. And I'm making my argument. At
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: the time, I was probably even more insensitive than I
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: am now. I was like, people who have kids are
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: freaking stupid. I'm not saying that anymore, okay? I'm accepting
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: all people. And I know lots of great people with kids. Um,
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: and I love kids. I have no problem. I have
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: no problem. Um, and they're coaching me and they're like,
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: but you don't understand. You don't understand. They were like,
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: we need people like you in the future. We need, like,
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: they were like, I can tell you're a smart person.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: I can, like, you're here, you're at college, you're trying,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: you know, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. We need people
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: like you in the future. They were like, if, if
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: they were like, they were acknowledging my point. They were like, yeah,
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: there's a lot of people who have children very not
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: thinking about it. And they were like, but if we
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: don't have people who are thinking about it and who
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: are deliberate about it and who are like putting their
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: whole life to raising good kids, they were like, then
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: the other people are going to win. And at the
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: time I didn't really have a rebuttal to that. At
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: the time I was like, okay, let me hear you out.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: But now I would say I fear the other side
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: is going to win. I fear the other side. We
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: are outnumbered in a big way, you guys. And, you know,
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: just like people who don't really people who are not
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: doing Planned Parenthood, people who are just doing like regular parenthood.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: And I think it's never too late. I think if anything,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: my mission is like I got to find the unplanned
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: parents and I got to I got to put the
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: exigency of freaking God in them. I don't know. I
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: think that might be my mission. I don't think I
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: need to be... I don't need to be the Planned Parenthood.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: I think I need to get into the institutions and
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: be doing something about the unplanned parents. I don't know
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: how I'm going to convince them. I think I've made
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: some compelling arguments to some people recently. Because, you know,
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: I had this conversation with some pilots. I was 18.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: The drinking age was 18 where I was. And I
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: was talking to these two fathers. They were pilots. They
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: were fathers. One of them heard me out and cried
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: with me, and the other one got really mad at
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: the argument I was making. Because I was just like...
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: You know, I was a teenager, and so of course
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: I'm making poor decisions. I was on spring break, and
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: I was a teenager, and it's like, yeah, I'm making
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: poor decisions, and it's like, I have these middle-aged men
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: with children trying to make poor decisions with me. Or
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I don't know that they're trying. I think that it
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: just so happened. And I was like, guys, you got
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: to get your life together. Like your kids need you.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: I was like, my dad just died. And it's like
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: been like the most devastating thing I think I've ever experienced. And,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: you know, I don't. I was like, you got to
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: quit with the energy drinks, you guys. I think I
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: think the energy drinks might have killed my dad. I
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: don't know that. I mean, I think it was probably
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: a lot of things. Cigarettes, energy drinks, general extreme stress,
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: financial stress, taking politics way too seriously. I think these
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: are all contributors to the ultimate fatality, which was a
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: heart attack. This is why I don't take politics so seriously.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: I think when I was taking politics really seriously, I
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: think I felt like I was having a heart attack
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: at all times. This cannot be the center of our life.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: This cannot be the center of our life. It's too corrupt.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: It's too corrupt. What are we going to do about it, guys?
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Does anybody know? We're limited in what we can do
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: against this corruption. We gotta start at the grassroots. This
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: is what they've been saying when I was involved in politics.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: They were like, you're a grassroots participant. You gotta get
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: in at the grassroots. That was my job. I was 16.
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I was at the grassroots. I was talking to people
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: in the street. I had no idea what I was
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: even saying, to be honest. I was doing what they
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: told me to do. I was being a completely blind
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: and submissive subordinate to some freaking dorks that freaking ousted Bernie, dude.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: This was the devastation of my life when I was
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: campaigning for the DNC. And I was like, yes, Bernie. Yes,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: there's hope. And I just remember showing up to the convention.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: And there was some person who was very stern with me.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: They were like, Bernie's not going to make it. Bernie's
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: no good. They were like, you just got to accept
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: it now. you just gotta accept it now. They were like,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: we're campaigning for Hillary now. It's not about Bernie. And
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: I don't even think, like, formally, like, I don't think
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: the public knew yet. But I was in. I was
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: in on the inside and there was a stern person
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: telling me, gotta give it up with the Bernie stuff, lady.
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I was like, but the primaries
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: haven't even happened yet. What are you talking about? And
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: they were like, no, I'm telling you. It's not, it's
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: not happening. And I was like, oh boy, great. And
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: then we lost everything. We lost everything. And so I
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: had to step away. I had to step away from
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: the DNC. I heard some people saying last night, they
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: were like, talking about these midterm elections. I think I
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: need to do more research, guys. I'm going to have
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: to do research. I don't know, I... I don't know
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: if this person was a reliable narrator, but they were
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: saying they were like, everybody on the ballot is a
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: single party. It's all the same party. And honestly, I
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: don't think that's the worst case scenario because I think
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: it's really easy to just like pick a party and
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: then vote for everybody in that party. So if all
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: the candidates are one party, that really kind of necessitates
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: that we're going to have to do more research. I
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: think for me, I've been personally, I've been taking note
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: of all the signs, like the political signs and just
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: kind of assessing, does this look like blatant AI or,
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: you know, like yesterday I saw a sign and it
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: was hand painted. I was, and it was like, vote
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: this person. It was hand painted. I was like, is
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: this the person I vote for? I should probably do
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: some freaking research. And my friend was like, we're all
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: voting for this person for this position. Right. And I
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: was like, It's an easy name to remember. So certainly
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: if I don't end up doing research, I know that
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: I know who my friend's voting for. I know a
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: little bit. I know a little bit. Okay. I get
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: a lot of It's funny, I have my dad's old
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: phone number, so I get a lot of, like, texts
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: that I assume my dad signed up for, because I
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: don't think I would sign up for this person that
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: I keep getting texts for. And they were, like, they were, like,
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: trash-talking this other person that I would definitely vote for.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: And it's funny, like, the things they were saying, it's like,
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: they were definitely trying to, like, fear-monger, like, oh, this
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: person is here to enact communism or something. I'm reading it,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: I'm like, this sounds kind of cool. And it's funny
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: because it's like an ad against someone. And I don't
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: think I signed up for any of these ads. So
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: it's just like I'm getting my dad's old ads. And
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: they're trying to scare me. And it's not working. It's
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: literally not working. They're making her sound really cool. So
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: maybe that's the trick. Maybe that's literally the trick. I think...
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I gotta do some research on it,
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: I think. I still have time, though. And also part
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: of me is like, it doesn't matter. I wish it mattered.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: It might. I'm going to try. I'm going to do
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: my part. I fear that my kind are outnumbered. And
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: so the guy, right, he's trying to convince me that
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: I need to have kids because I'm a good person.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: But see, this seems a little problematic. Like, And it
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: just brings me back to like... If I were to
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: raise a child, I think it would be an adopted child.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: Or it would be a child that falls into my care.
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: Like a godchild kind of situation, you know? And... That's
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: all I know. Because... I mean, I don't know. I
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: think I'm going to get extremely problematic if I say
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: how I really feel. I think we're all entitled to
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: our own decision. But yeah, I had a really fabulous morning.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: I woke up from my sleepover and it's like all
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: the girlies, all the girlies are here. And I had
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: a really nice conversation with somebody who Really When I
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: When I first encountered this person I was like this
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: person seems way too busy and also like the person
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: who owns the house I Was like this person seems
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: way too busy to like make time for me And
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: I now see that this is not true. They have
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: made time for me. And... They are aligned. They're aligned
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: with my vision. We just had a really, really good conversation. Um...
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: And yeah, we were talking about Jesus. We were talking
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: about Jesus. Jesus, this is, Jesus is the main guy,
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: is my understanding. You know, let's say this was a
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: sort of person who has valid reasons to not be
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: into religion. very similar reasons that you know drew me
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: away from religion for a long time and um but
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: they're like yeah the character of jesus is this is
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: this is everything and people people are using it people
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: are using you in the wrong dang way they're literally
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: using it in the wrong freaking way They gave me
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: some very good pointers. Very good pointers. Because I guess
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: I have two schools of thought. If I'm being just
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: grossly general. I have two schools of thought. One is like.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: You gotta keep improving. You gotta keep caring about. You
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: gotta keep caring about. people's feelings in like a really
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: big way and being sensitive towards people's feelings and like
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: matching you know you gotta be like compassionate in like
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: a broad very general kind of way and I think
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: the messages I was getting at the sleepover was like
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: there's not enough time There's really not enough time. You're
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: gonna burn yourself out. And you're gonna get used and exploited.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: As well. So. I don't like it. I don't like the...
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: I don't like the feeling of picking teams. And... it
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: was really affirming for me. Cause yeah, I've definitely been
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: called insensitive for dismissing certain kinds of people's feelings. And
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: that's what I was telling them. I was like, you know,
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: people dismiss my feelings when I was a kid and
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: I accepted it. I was like, you're right. I'm being
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: a little extra right now. I, I went away. I
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: isolated or I, yeah, I went away. I regulated myself.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: I came back and I was like, yeah, I was
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: being a little extra. And nowadays it just seems like, okay, signal.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: I see you. I saw that. Oh, okay. That was
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: not magical. That was actually extremely practical. Nevermind. Um, um, I... Yeah,
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I think it's just tricky. Like, as someone who... When
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: people tell me I'm being too much, I accept it. Usually.
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: At least, as a kid, I accepted it. And I
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: regulated myself. This is, I would say, one of my superpowers.
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: And so, but people get very offended when I am like,
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: this is too much. You're screaming too much. You're having
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: a very large reaction to something that's not that deep.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: You're having unnecessary fear is another big one. Like, what?
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: You're scared? Why are you scared? You're scared of me?
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: And this is what we were bonding about, that my
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: lady friend this morning, like, That we both are the
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: kind of people that people tell us we're intimidating. And... Like,
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: I looked at this person, my first impression was, okay...
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: They seem busy. They seem like they have a very
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: full life. And... I'm not trying to impose. I'm not
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: trying to make their life more busy. And now I see... No,
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: I think there's room... I think there's room. It just
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: depends like what you're, it depends what you're demanding out
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: of a relationship. And historically I don't demand very much.
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: I'm not a very demanding person. It's funny. I, with
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: like my, my ex friend, uh, You know, because they
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: tried to say that I didn't demand enough. And that
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: I was like a flimsy kind of... I don't know,
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: easily exploitable person. And I reached out to my mom.
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: And I was like, do you think I make a
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: lot of demands? Or do you think I don't make
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: enough demands? And my mom was like, I feel like
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: you make way too many demands, girl. So it's like
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: I have two schools of thought where one person is
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: saying you're not demanding enough and then the other one's
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: saying like you demand a lot. And my mom, okay,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: my mom didn't say you're demanding too much. My mom
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: said I'm very proud of the amount that you demand,
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: you know, and sometimes I wish I could do that.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: And that checks out. That just straight up checks out.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: And it also checks out that the other person was
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: saying I don't demand enough because they'd be demanding a lot. Oh, butterfly! Oh, butterfly! Okay,
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: they're telling me to go get some fruit. Or maybe not.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know what they're telling me. What are you
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: telling me, butterfly? I think they want me to eat something.
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty hungry. Alright, hopefully they have something good in here. Alright,
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: that's all I know. I don't... I think... Demand what
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: you want to demand. Don't let people tell you nothing.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: it's all gonna work out, you're gonna find your tribe,
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: you're gonna find your tribe, and, yeah, we're all gonna
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: find our tribe, I think, very soon, and hopefully our
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: tribes can, like, coexist, that would be dope, that would
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: be really dope, this is what I'm praying for, This
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: is what I have faith in. I think our tribes
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: are going to be able to coexist. Um... I think
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: my tribes are very oriented towards, like, coexisting with other tribes.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: And I hope that y'alls are, too. I really do.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: I hope that this is, like, a focus of everyone
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: and not just, like, you know... I hope everybody can just, like, coexist.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: They've been advertising this on bumper stickers forever, guys, to
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: coexist with like all the different religious symbols. This has
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: been on bumper stickers forever. Can we do that? Is
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: that possible? I think it's possible. I have full faith
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: that we're going to coexist very soon. I guess in
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: a way we are, but we could do better. I
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: think we could do better, guys. I think we could
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: coexist a little better. It's not a demand. It's not
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: a demand. I'm just speaking my mind. That's all. Love
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: you guys. Bye.