Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Don’t allow "shoulds" to rule your world

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Don’t allow "shoulds" to rule your world · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the good morning from the chicken coop, podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and master mindset.
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  Coach filled with inspiration, distinctions, perspectives and
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  possibilities. We help you to cultivate a
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  mindset that leads you to create the best version of yourself.
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  You could ever imagine join Kim. Every morning from one of her.
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  Favorite happy places her chicken coop, along with all her
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  chickens. Hey everybody.
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  Good morning from the chicken coop.
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  Ooh, so how often do you think about how things should be?
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  Instead of how things are interesting, question to ask
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  yourself, because we spend so much time future pacing, you
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  know, we spend so much time thinking about what could be,
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  what we want out in the future. It's actually very addictive and
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  it can cause quite a bit of problems, as much as it's great
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  to have goals. And Lily me, I'm a huge.
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  Setter of intentions, and goals and everything else spending too
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  much time out in the future or spending too much time thinking
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  about. What's next, is the killer of
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  the Soul. So to speak because we
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  constantly are not where we are and as anybody who ever studied
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  mindfulness will tell you, mindfulness is being in the
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  moment and enjoying where you are right now.
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  Like for the, for this moment, I'm in the chicken coop, the
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  girls are having breakfast, it's very cold here.
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  Morning for us, everybody's having oatmeal and blueberries
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  and chia seeds and you can hear them.
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  They're all like super happy about it, and I'm just with you
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  and them here. Could my brain instantly shift
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  out to what's next for the day. What do I have to get done?
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  The haircut. I need to get my son to all the
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  Christmas shopping that needs to be done, the to-do list running
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  in my head, trying to decide which way to go.
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  So I avoid traffic. Yes, I could do all those things
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  and not to mention worrying about things.
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  I need to proofread for clients content, that needs to be
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  written. I could pick a myriad of things
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  to choose to not be in the moment.
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  But in that moment, I would be Still doing things.
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  I might be folding laundry, I might be running around, I might
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  be sleeping but my brain is not present on what I'm doing and
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  this future pacing piece of us is always present.
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  We talked about it before but it's always present.
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  But why we're talking about it? Specifically today is when this
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  involves other people and how we think something should be with
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  other people. So for instance, with the
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  holidays coming up. What often happens is, we
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  believe our holiday should go the way we want it to.
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  To go and somebody else in our family may believe, they want it
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  to go how they want it to go. And in the, you know, in this
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  whole process of sorting out who's going, where who's doing?
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  What? Who's getting one?
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  Whose responsibility to do. What lots of times?
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  There's shooting, like, I should do this.
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  I should do this, even though I don't want to do this.
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  Boy. What problems does this cause
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  and it gets even further complicated when we say, you
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  know what, he should do this, or she should do this and we start
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  putting our rules on other people and the world blows up at
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  that point. How someone should act what they
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  should expect? You know, we often do this with
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  our children and we as adults think, well, you should do this
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  and you should act this way. And whether our children are
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  Fifteen twenty twenty seven doesn't matter, we will still do
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  it because we think we know best and often that's what causes our
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  pain and our problems, because we start the should train and we
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  continue on it and we refused to get off because we think we're,
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  right, and we will die on the hill so to speak because we will
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  not get off the should train. And if you would love to know
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  the secret to getting off, the should Train.
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  It's really a simple concept, not easy to execute, but it's
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  simple. You have to stop using your
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  emotions. Your feelings your wishes and
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  putting them on someone else and expecting them to hold those
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  wishes true. You have to realize that
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  everybody has their own path, their own purpose there, it
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  doesn't matter if they're your child doesn't matter if they're
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  your parent. None of that matters.
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  They have their own Direction, their own way.
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  They're going to go and when Are looking at this upcoming holiday
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  season or situations. You might currently be in and
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  you feel yourself going well, you know, she's doing this
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  wrong. She shouldn't be with these
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  people. She shouldn't be here.
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  Talking to them. She shouldn't be wasting her
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  money on this. The are he shouldn't be going
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  out there. He shouldn't be dating, this
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  person. Whatever it might be, you have
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  to stop and collect yourself and say, my world is my business.
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  Meaning my ecosystem of me, just me, there are plenty of things
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  that you can focus on for yourself and worry about for
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  yourself. And yes, it's really hard when
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  you have children, or are you have parents that are elderly or
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  people you care for, or workers? And you are concerned for them,
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  but no matter how much you're concerned for those people, it's
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  never going to drive them to make the choices you want them
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  to make unless they're compelled to do it themselves.
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  The compulsion to do it themselves.
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  Is what is so important they have to want to do.
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  They have to come to you and say, what do you think of this?
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  And even when you give them your advice, they may not take it.
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  So you have to say listen I'm happy to tell you what I think,
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  however you're not obligated to do it and I'm not going to hold
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  anything against you for not doing it, and just making those
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  declarations helps so much. And you have to trust that you
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  have to hold space in yourself for those people.
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  Meaning you just continue to love them.
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  Silently you, let them know verbally.
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  You love them. I love you.
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  I love you. No matter what happens.
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  I love. Love you, and things seem to
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  always work themselves out. When you make space, it's when
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  you resist, that's the problem. So today I ask you to please.
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  Look at where you're shooting all over yourself as well as
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  others and stop it and don't let that happen.
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  Don't allow those rules to ruin your holiday season.
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  Don't allow things to show up that don't feel good because you
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  ultimately have control over that piece of it, my friends.
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  I hope you have a very blessed day and I I will see you
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  tomorrow. Bye.