Latest / The Shift Podcast / 142. When You're in a Funk

Transcript

142. When You're in a Funk · The Shift Podcast

0:00
Welcome to Frontline static, we will get to hear interviews with
0:02
some of my clients journeys of getting into flight and how they
0:05
utilize coaching to help them create success of getting hired
0:08
with less confusion and more ease.
0:10
Make your dream a reality of getting into flight.
0:12
Listen in as you hear some of the stories of the people
0:14
getting there and come join the flight prep group.
0:17
Hey guys, welcome to Frontline Static podcast episode 142.
0:21
I don't know what I'm going to title this one yet because I
0:23
kind of want to just see what comes out of me in the making of
0:26
this. I usually do a outline of what
0:30
I'm going to talk about and have it pretty detailed.
0:34
But this week I just made a small short outline because I
0:37
felt like I wanted to see what kind of comes up for me as I'm
0:41
delivering you the message. And I went back and forth about
0:47
whether I wanted to talk to you about this again this week or
0:49
not. And I just feel like it's such a
0:51
pertinent reminder of of what we need to be working on and what
0:57
we need to be focusing on. Even if it's something you've
0:59
heard from me before, but maybe it's in a little bit different
1:02
of a way. This year inside my programs,
1:06
I'm really going to be focusing on mindset.
1:09
I really think that the thoughts that we are having about
1:12
ourselves, the feelings that those create, those are
1:15
responsible for the actions that we take and then ultimately the
1:19
results that we create in our life.
1:21
And so I think being able to clean out our brains, declutter
1:25
them makes sense of the thoughts that we're having is so, so
1:28
important in helping us create success and also helping us
1:32
really get to know and acknowledge ourselves.
1:34
So today I wanted to talk about three kind of steps that I use
1:40
to kind of generate confidence and grow your confidence level.
1:43
And I think this is important, whether you're going for flight,
1:46
whether you're just navigating this thing called life or
1:49
whether you're setting big goals for yourself, stepping into new
1:52
identities, up leveling. I really think this podcast
1:55
episode, if you've been listening to me, this is for
1:58
those people. And I would have to say most of
2:01
the people who listen to this episode and the majority of my
2:04
clients are pretty inclined to be doers and action takers and
2:10
people who really want to keep up leveling themselves like me.
2:15
And so I know that this episode will be really helpful for you.
2:19
This is for those of you who are maybe just kind of stuck in a
2:24
funk right now and not quite sure why.
2:28
And so I'm going to help you just give you 3 steps to give
2:32
you a subtle shift to step back into creating more confidence
2:37
and generating confidence for yourself and whatever that
2:40
you're working in. The first thing that I want to
2:44
help you do in this step is acknowledge the emotion that
2:48
you're resisting. So often times we're in a funk
2:52
only because we are having fear of feeling some sort of feeling.
2:58
For a lot of you, it is doubt, it is fear, it is embarrassment,
3:06
discomfort. Especially as it's the beginning
3:08
of the year and you're setting new goals and big goals for
3:11
yourself. And undoubtedly all of those
3:13
emotions come up and we think that we need to get rid of them.
3:19
We need to resist them, and we need to get to better thoughts
3:23
and take more action to get ourselves out of it.
3:26
But here's the thing, when we do this trying to get out of the
3:30
doubt or the fears, we actually are just magnifying it.
3:34
We push it down, we push it down, we push it down.
3:36
And then for most of you guys, you know, it becomes a huge
3:40
monster when we finally let it out.
3:43
And so This is why the first step to creating confidence and
3:47
generating that is to allow the emotion.
3:50
I guess the pre step before this is allowing yourself to come up
3:55
and name what the emotion is. OK, what is it that I'm feeling?
3:58
Why am I in this funk? And then being able to really
4:04
tell yourself, OK, what is this emotion?
4:07
So I want to give you an example.
4:09
I don't, I don't know if it's been, I think it could be a
4:11
little bit of the weather, but where I live it's like been
4:13
really foggy and dreary and cold and that sometimes messes with
4:18
me. And so I have noticed I've been
4:22
in a little bit of a funk. And then I've noticed I've
4:24
gotten really frustrated and angry at my kids and my family
4:29
just more often. And as I was starting to notice
4:33
this over the course of this last week, I was like, why am I
4:36
so angry? Like why am I so frustrated so
4:39
quickly? And I realize it's just because
4:42
I'm feeling disappointment. And there's been a goal that
4:48
I've been really working on right now in my life and I
4:52
haven't like gotten close to it. And I've just realized there's a
4:57
lot of uncertainty in it. So I think uncertainty is it
5:00
too, but I think I'm just feeling disappointed for it not
5:06
happening in the time frame that I wanted it to happen or that I
5:09
thought it would happen. And that disappointment, me not
5:12
allowing it has caused a lot of anger and frustration.
5:15
And so first it's just naming what is the emotion that you
5:20
really are wanting to get rid of and not feel?
5:23
And then being willing to allow it, being willing to say, oh, I
5:29
get it. This is disappointment.
5:32
And also this is what it's feeling like for me.
5:34
It's feeling like this heavyweight in my chest.
5:37
It's feeling like the sinking thing in my stomach.
5:40
It's feeling like a heavy, heavy backpack that I just cannot put
5:45
on and carry right now. And we think that if we allow
5:49
the emotion that it's going to take over us, that it's going to
5:52
consume us, that we're not going to be able to get out of it.
5:56
But it's actually the opposite. The more we resist it, the more
6:00
we don't allow, the heavier it gets to be the thing that we're
6:03
always, always, always thinking about.
6:05
And that's why I was starting to move into frustration and anger
6:08
because I was trying to get rid of it versus when I finally sat
6:11
down and was like, OK, this is just me experiencing
6:14
disappointment right now. Then I'm like, OK, this is the
6:19
emotion. This is where I'm feeling it.
6:21
This is where I can start to like, say it out loud and
6:24
process it. And this is actually how we move
6:27
through it quicker. And so I want to offer you, your
6:31
brains going to say, well, wait, let's not think that emotion
6:35
because I don't want it to consume me.
6:37
But actually it's consuming you more by resisting it.
6:40
So I want to offer you, allow it, name it, see where you're
6:43
feeling it. Another example that I want to
6:47
give you is I had a client reach out and talk about how he's
6:51
getting ready to take a big exam inside the flight prep Academy
6:56
and he was saying last week I felt really, really confident
7:00
about it. Last week I felt like, oh, I can
7:02
do this no matter what. And this week I'm feeling like,
7:05
Oh my gosh, I'm so far behind. I don't know what I'm doing.
7:08
There's so many new things I have to learn and experiencing
7:11
the other side of the doubt. And I said, what if we just told
7:18
ourselves instead of trying to get rid of the doubt, instead of
7:21
like saying, Oh well, last week we felt really confident.
7:23
What if we just normalized feeling it?
7:26
What if we just said, oh, OK, this is doubt I'm experiencing
7:30
and also it's OK, it's normal. And then also what I told him is
7:37
what if we also and normalized it, still became the person who
7:42
took action with it. So what I'm gonna move to is
7:45
Step 2 is when we resist the emotion or when we try not to
7:52
feel it or when we're experiencing it.
7:56
Sometimes we want to pull back. And so when you're having that
8:01
emotion, you're resisting feeling it, you're resisting
8:04
feeling the disappointment or you're resisting the doubt.
8:07
You can notice a subset of actions.
8:10
Overeating, scrolling. How many of you guys spend
8:15
mindless time on Instagram or Tiktok or Snapchat because
8:19
you're avoiding feeling something?
8:21
You're avoiding dread, or you're avoiding discomfort, or you're
8:24
avoiding whatever you're going to feel when you have to take
8:26
the action. Procrastinating.
8:28
You watch yourself pulling back, You ruminate, You gossip.
8:35
I think I said scrolling already or then you're just like
8:38
indulging in being bad at something, saying you're not
8:42
good enough. If you guys can relate to this,
8:44
this is only because you're not allowing the emotion.
8:47
You're not allowing yourself to feel the X emotion or whatever
8:50
the emotion is. So what I told him is if you
8:53
allowed yourself to just normalize.
8:55
Oh, this is doubt. And of course, I'm feeling doubt
8:59
because the test is getting closer and I'm realizing there's
9:04
some things that maybe I don't know that I thought I should
9:06
know on it. And OK, this is doubt.
9:09
But also this is me having doubt and still studying for it.
9:13
So instead of having the doubt and watching yourself pull back,
9:17
now you're teaching yourself, oh, this is what doubt looks
9:19
like and feels like. And also this is what it looks
9:22
like for me to have it and still take action towards taking this
9:25
test. And So what I want to offer you
9:29
is when you, you can name the emotion, when you can recognize
9:34
the things that you're doing because you're resisting it or
9:38
because you're having it, then you can step three, ask
9:43
yourself, what if I, what would I start doing if I just allowed
9:48
it? So if we go back to the example
9:51
of my disappointment once I named OK, This is why I'm
9:53
frustrated and I'm angry at my family right now is because I'm
9:56
just resisting disappointment. OK, I'm just going to allow
10:00
disappointment. I'm going to stop being angry
10:03
and losing my mind over small things.
10:05
I'm going to start, I'm going to stop pulling back from my goal
10:10
and I'm going to start leaning in.
10:12
Step 3 is what would you start doing if you just acknowledge
10:15
that emotion and you let it be there and you took action
10:18
anyway? And what I want to offer you is
10:22
you get so much power back when you stop resisting it.
10:25
You allow it. And then you ask yourself who
10:28
you would be, who starts taking action with it.
10:31
And what I want to offer you is when you can say, oh, this is
10:35
disappointment, then you can be like, OK, now I can wrap my
10:40
brain around how am I going to problem solve for it?
10:43
Because here's the thing, a lot of times that emotion, we let it
10:46
overcome us so much that we say it's or we don't feel it like
10:50
the disappointment that we're just like, oh, well, I'm not
10:53
good enough. I can't do it.
10:55
This is my time. This isn't my time.
10:57
And you start to hear yourself like pull back and then quietly
11:00
quit. But when you can be like, oh,
11:03
this is doubt. And it's OK.
11:05
Like I can handle the doubt. I know how to be the person to
11:07
take action and still move forward and not pull back with
11:09
the doubt and still not quit. Then you start to problem solve.
11:14
Then you're start, you start to be like, oh, OK, so if I don't
11:17
make this mean anything about me, how do I move forward with
11:20
this doubt? How do I move forward with this
11:22
disappointment? And then your brain starts to
11:25
click and your brain starts to work.
11:27
And your brains like, oh, OK, so this just wasn't working.
11:31
This is me disappointed from it not working.
11:33
Now what am I going to do to problem solve for it?
11:38
You start to get your energy back, you start to act like
11:42
yourself a little bit more. You start to realize, oh,
11:45
there's been lots of other times in my life where I've felt
11:48
disappointment and I still kept moving forward towards the goal.
11:51
Or there's lots of times in my life where I felt doubt and I
11:54
still took action anyway. And so you're starting to find
11:57
all of these examples. Then when you don't make it mean
12:00
about anything about you, you step into this highest level of
12:04
problem solving and then finding the possible solutions.
12:08
And I want you guys to go back and listen to my evaluation
12:10
confidence through evaluation podcast because this is the
12:13
point where you evaluate and I go through how do you do
12:15
evaluations? I think it's a couple episodes
12:17
back, but when you problem solve, you evaluate and you're
12:21
like, OK, these are the possible solutions to now move, move
12:24
forward. This is where when you can allow
12:28
the emotion to become the person who takes action with it anyway,
12:31
you start to critically think you're like, oh, OK, if I do
12:36
this, if I possibly experiment with this, this subset of
12:40
actions will lead me to it. One example that I want to give
12:44
you is, and I might have talked about this on the last podcast
12:48
episode, I don't remember, but verbal case scenarios were never
12:52
something that I was great as in a flight nurse.
12:54
You have to, you have to become comfortable with them.
12:58
I would say maybe not good, but comfortable.
13:01
The more comfortable you are, the better you get at them.
13:04
But you would have to do verbal case scenarios at least once 1/4
13:09
and then if not annually and check them off with education
13:11
and the directors. And I was really, really good at
13:16
real life scenarios. But then you get into this
13:18
verbal case scenario where you have a mannequin and it just
13:20
like very, it's like visualize action and talking it through.
13:25
And I had a hard time with that. I would get really nervous.
13:27
But when I just acknowledged that I had a lot of fear and I
13:33
got really nervous and taking them and that I could be the
13:36
person because I already knew how to do it in my job, I could
13:39
be the person who could have fear and still move myself
13:42
through them and confidently get through them.
13:45
I gave myself a systematic process.
13:47
And that's when I created the systematic process that I teach
13:50
inside the flight Prep Academy for case scenarios, for flight
13:54
interviews. That's how I came up with that.
13:57
I was just willing to be like, OK, who would I be if I just
14:00
allowed the deep amount of nerves that I feel when case
14:03
scenarios are coming up and I just moved myself through them.
14:07
And that's when I kind of experimented with like, what
14:10
would be a process that I could write down on a paper that I
14:13
could go to every single time I did 1.
14:15
And that's how I ignited my critical thinking skills.
14:18
That's how I came up with this systematic process.
14:21
And for you guys, I know, especially nurses, you guys, all
14:24
you, you do this all the time. It's like when you start in a
14:27
unit and you get precepted by someone and you see a bunch of
14:30
people that you look up to doing things different ways in their
14:33
shift, how they look at labs, how they do rounds, how they
14:39
process a new patient. And then you start to think for
14:41
yourself, these are things I like, these are things I don't
14:44
like. And then you start to create
14:45
your own process of how you're going to move through your shift
14:49
with good time management and what you like.
14:52
And you take bits and pieces from other people on how they do
14:55
you do it and you experiment with it until finally you come
14:59
up with a plan and you're like, this is how I work on this
15:01
department as a critical care nurse.
15:04
This is a process I've created for myself.
15:06
But you have to be willing to say, not say, oh, I'm, you know,
15:11
critical care isn't for me. I'm, I'm never going to be a
15:14
good critical care nurse. I'm just going to move to a
15:15
different floor. No, you have to be willing to
15:17
say, OK, I'm having doubt. I'm having a lot of fear of
15:21
failure on this unit, but this is the process that I think
15:25
might help. And then you go out and you
15:27
experiment with it and you're like, OK, I'm going to do this.
15:30
Do I like that? Do I not do like that?
15:32
And then suddenly you create processes for yourself.
15:35
So this is what that step is, is igniting that critical thinking
15:40
part of you. And then you really start to
15:43
trust yourself more as you create this process and then as
15:47
you move through what it feels like to have the doubt, to have
15:51
the nerves and still continue to take action.
15:54
Now, I know you guys are thinking, OK, Janessa, this is
15:58
easier said than done. I'm in a really, really deep
16:00
funk right now. I know what my feeling is, but
16:02
it's hard to move forward. And I'm going to tell you, yes,
16:05
it is hard. I just think there is this right
16:10
now. And I'm going to say something
16:12
that is probably for some people might be hard to hear, but I'm
16:15
going to say it as your coach. I just think that there is this
16:20
underlying got right now and saying going out that life
16:25
should be easy and we should live this soft life and we
16:28
should be comfortable and all of these things.
16:31
And I just think we have to acknowledge that we can do hard
16:40
things and that also not doing what we want is just as hard.
16:47
If we sit in a unit that we don't like and we know that we
16:50
want flight, that's just as hard, if not harder because you
16:54
know you're meant for something bigger.
16:56
You know you're able to do something more and that's just
16:59
as hard then the heart of going for it.
17:02
So I want to offer you guys, yes, you're in this funk.
17:05
You've now acknowledge what the feeling is.
17:06
Yes, it will be hard to get out of it.
17:09
But I do want to offer you, you can do hard things.
17:13
And the person that you become who does the hard, that's a
17:17
person you're going to be deeply proud of at the end, not the one
17:21
who fears not taking action all and doesn't go for it because
17:24
that's just as hard. You guys, I know, I know when I
17:27
have a goal in mind and I just don't go for it, it's harder to
17:30
not take the action than to just do the hard and do it.
17:33
And so I want to offer you a thought as I'm moving through
17:38
this disappointment that I am really seeding in for myself is,
17:43
yes, this is hard and I can handle the hard.
17:46
Yes, this I feel uncertain about this, but I can handle
17:50
uncertainty. And I want to just offer you
17:52
become the person who can move through the hard because when
17:56
you get to the other side, you will feel so proud of yourself.
18:01
And then you will have this subset of tools for yourself
18:04
that when the hard comes again, you'll get through it, you'll
18:08
move through it, and you no longer will fear it being hard.
18:11
You'll be like, OK, yeah, this is hard.
18:14
And I got the hard and I got me. And so I want to offer you, it
18:17
starts with building momentum. The hardest part is to get into
18:21
the movement and action of it. And I always relate this to
18:26
putting your car in shift when you're driving stick shift it
18:29
the hardest part is getting it into first gear if you're first
18:32
learning how to drive stick shift.
18:33
But once you get it to 1st, then second, then third, then 4th and
18:36
5th, all of that becomes easier. So it's getting into the
18:40
momentum, putting into the shift that's the hardest part.
18:42
But just grab yourself, put yourself into momentum.
18:47
And I promise you, once you start the momentum, the peddling
18:50
will become easier. And as the peddling becomes
18:52
easier, then you will start to feel empowered.
18:55
And then all those great emotions will come up for you.
18:59
Proud, empowered courage. And so it's getting into the
19:03
momentum, building the momentum again, that's the hardest part.
19:05
But once you get into it, that's what's going to help you
19:08
navigate the hard, do the hard thing.
19:11
So I just want to recap. Allow the feeling.
19:14
Acknowledge is what it is. Number 2.
19:16
Ask yourself what you're not doing by by by indulging in the
19:20
feeling or not allowing the feeling.
19:22
Are you pulling back? Are you quietly quitting?
19:25
Are you not being yourself? And then #3 is get yourself back
19:30
in the action. Become the person who has doubt
19:33
and takes action anyway. And start building that momentum
19:36
so that you can do the hard and get through the hard and process
19:39
yourself through it. Remember, you're always going to
19:43
figure it out. You are so capable and remind
19:47
yourself that you have what it takes.
19:49
You've done it before, you've done hard things before, and you
19:52
can do this again. Because I want to remind you
19:55
when you get to that big goal, it's kind of you're going to
19:57
have your own subset of hard. And so if you can just become
20:00
the person who doesn't fear it being hard, who is like just
20:04
comes up against it being hard and knowing that you can move
20:07
through it, then you never fear when it is.
20:10
And I want to offer these simple, simple mind shifts.
20:13
Mind shifts will, will propel you into confidence will will
20:18
help you level up, will help you go into that next identity of
20:21
who you are. I want to let you guys know I'm
20:24
having a free training that's coming up in February.
20:27
It's going to be something I've never done before.
20:29
We are going to talk about these mindset shifts.
20:32
And so if you are not on my e-mail list, get on my e-mail
20:35
list. So you we are the first to know
20:36
and enroll when it's coming up and when it when it's going to
20:39
be coming. And if you guys know that you
20:42
want flight, come join us inside the flight prep Academy.
20:45
These are the simple mind shift, mind mind shifts that we're
20:48
making. But this is everything to
20:51
getting into flight. And I know you guys are just
20:53
worried about getting an offer and getting into flight, but I
20:55
want to tell you the real work begins after you get the offer.
20:58
And so I'm helping people inside my group not only get there, but
21:01
prepare for becoming that flight nurse now so that when they do
21:05
get the offer, they're going to shift confidently in the role.
21:08
Come and join. No matter where you're starting
21:10
in the journey, I'd love to have you guys inside.
21:12
We are going to grow your confidence this year.
21:15
Thanks you guys for listening to this podcast episode.
21:18
And I will see all of you guys next week.
21:20
Bye. Anything in this episode sparked
21:22
your interest into getting into flight?
21:24
Come join my flight flight group.
21:25
We are an entire community that meets together on a weekly basis
21:29
with an ongoing group chat. And if you are already flying
21:31
and you are currently a flight nurse or flight medic, you can
21:34
join my all flight clinician group as well.
21:36
You can click on the link to join in the show notes or you
21:38
can DM me on Instagram. I hope to see all of you guys
21:40
inside.